AO3 Link
13 AS:
Tails Adventure:
Once again going on his own adventure, Tails arrives at Cocoa Island, helping out the residents, building more machines and gadgets, and generally relaxing a little. But suddenly, an army of imperial birds called the Great Battle Kukku invade the island for unknown reasons, and start causing chaos.
Determined to stop them, and with plenty more gadgets to use, Tails sets off to stop the army, help the locals, and save the island from any more destruction. Throughout his journey, the young fox encounters Battle Kukku XVI (Also known as Speedy), where the two often compete in speed and gadgets. Only for the latter to get frustrated at being beaten by some young mutant fox.
Eventually, Tails reaches their Battle Fortress, bringing the fight right to their leader, Great Battle Kukku XV, and their mechanical mastermind, Dr. Fukurokov. That’s when the young fox finds out why they’re here. After learning about Tails’ incredible gadgets and intellect, they wanted to kidnap and use him in their quest for world domination.
Obviously, the young fox doesn’t take kindly to this, and promptly defeats them, along with Speedy, and sends their warship crashing down into the ocean, alongside much of the army. And after repairing the damages done to Cocoa Island, the day is saved, and while Tails feels a bit guilty about bringing such danger to these people, they reassure him and let him know he’s been an incredible help to them. A true hero.
Happy to hear their kind words, Tails hangs around Cocoa Island a little longer, building some defense mechanisms and machines to make sure nothing bad happens once he leaves. And after saying his farewells, the young fox heads off for another adventure…
​
Sonic Blast:
While Tails is off on his own adventure, Sonic is relaxing at South Island, with the white Chaos Emerald in his possession. But he’s then ambushed by Robotnik in another mech, alongside a small company of Badniks, who wants the blue blur’s gemstone. And despite some slight annoyance at being disturbed, the hedgehog accepts the doctor’s challenge.
However, during the scuffle, Sonic accidentally drops the Chaos Emerald, as he, Robotnik, and the Badniks start playing hot-potato with it. Eventually, the doctor loses his patience and attempts to shoot the hedgehog with a laser beam, while he’s trying to get the gemstone. Though, instead, he unintentionally hits the emerald, shattering it into a couple of pieces, and destroying all the Badniks, alongside pushing Sonic and Robotnik away.
Once he recovers from it, Robotnik manages to take the broken Chaos Emerald pieces, and heads to his new Silver Castle base, interested in seeing how this happened and if he can use it to his advantage. As for Sonic, he gets back up, and chases after the doctor, wanting to repair the gemstone and stop whatever plan he has in store.
As for Knuckles, the Master Emerald alerts him of the white Chaos Emerald breaking, which surprises him. And fearing what this means for the massive gemstone, along with the rest of the emeralds, the Echidna decides to go after Robotnik as well. Soon enough, he meets up with Sonic, and the two team up to stop the doctor again.
Once Robotnik gets to his Silver Castle, he studies the broken Chaos Emerald, and finds out that the laser beam cracked it due to the structural integrity of the gemstone being torn apart from the energy. And while the broken shards don’t seem like much, the doctor theorizes that they may contain even more power than before, now that the energy inside them has no limits anymore without being fully formed.
Eventually, Sonic and Knuckles reach the Silver Castle, and fight against Robotnik’s new mech, which is powered by the emerald shards. And despite it’s power being much greater than they expected, the combined teamwork of the two heroes sends the machine to the scrap heap, alongside the base.
So, with another plan down the drain, Robotnik decides to leave with his remaining forces, and Knuckles is able to figure out how to restore the broken Chaos Emerald to normal. With the day saved, the Echidna heads back to Angel Island, and Sonic leaves with the gemstone in search of another adventure…
​
Sonic 3D Blast:
Robotnik hears rumors about Flicky Island, where a unique race of colored Flickies reside. They are said to come from another dimension, and can create warp rings to enter it, or go to any part of the island. Thinking this could be useful in finding the Chaos Emeralds, the doctor goes to conquer the island with his forces.
Immediately, he starts turning the Flickies into Badniks, and studies their power in order to create his own warp portals. Some time later, however, Sonic and Tails arrive at Flicky Island after picking up something strange on the jewel radar. They learn the doctor’s up to no good again, and set out to stop him like always.
In particular, Sonic keeps Robotnik busy, while freeing all the Flickies from their Badnik shells, and Tails searches for the Chaos Emeralds on his own with some gadgets. Eventually, after exploring the different regions of the island, the two heroes arrive at Robotnik’s Panic Puppet base in order to end this madness.
But during their supposed final battle, Robotnik uses the energy he took from the Flickies to teleport to another dimension. Luckily, the Flickies create a warp ring to allow Sonic to chase after the doctor, Chaos Emeralds in tow. There, the REAL Final Fight begins, as the doctor uses his Final Weapon to attack the blue blur.
However, while it’s not an easy battle, Sonic is able to defeat Robotnik without ever having to go Super, and escapes the collapsing base with the help of the Flickies. The island is saved, and the doctor’s gone alongside his forces. Sonic asks the Flickies to send the Chaos Emeralds away as well, before departing with Tails…
​
Sonic R:
While leisurely enjoying the sights of a big city, Sonic and Tails see an interesting event advertised on a gigantic screen. The World Grand Prix, where the contestants compete in 5 different race tracks for a nice cash prize, and to show who’s the best racer. The young fox is interested in joining, but the blue blur isn’t, since races aren’t really a challenge for him.
Though, when they look up the current contestants, they find that Dr. Robotnik, Metal Sonic 2.0, Metal Knuckles, and Egg Robo are competing. Thinking this is probably another scheme of his, Sonic and Tails join immediately, along with Amy once she learns what’s going on, and Knuckles unexpectedly enters the fray, feeling that he might be needed here.
Naturally, Sonic is right in that Robotnik has something to gain from this World Grand Prix. He thinks the Chaos Emeralds are hidden in the race tracks, and decides to join in the race alongside his Metal series robots and Egg Robo, while also having Tails Doll as surveillance. Hence, everyone competes in some Super Sonic Racing.
As the races go on, the heroes and villains manage to get 3 Chaos Emeralds each. But the last one is hidden in a strange, colorful crystal island floating a little above the ocean, known as Radiant Emerald. The last Chaos Emerald and race is located there, so all the contestants give it everything they got to win.
In the end, Sonic and his friends get the last emerald, which leads Robotnik and his minions to attack them. But sadly for him, the doctor’s machines get wrecked, and he ends up retreating once again in a huff. Then, once they scatter the gemstones again, the heroes go their separate ways as the winners of the World Grand Prix…
​
Sonic The Hedgehog 4 (Episode 1):
Plenty of time has passed since Robotnik’s last scheme, and Sonic has decided to once again explore the world on his own. However, while relaxing at an island with familiar sights, the blue blur is attacked by some of the doctor’s old Badniks and machines, which means he has to get back into the action.
As for Robotnik, he’s initiating a grand project by sending some of his old machines and Badniks to keep Sonic busy, while he sets up his new Mad Gear Zone, and searches for something. Though, it’s not certain what the doctor is up to. But Sonic doesn’t care, as it’s probably something bad like always.
Hence, Sonic goes across the different areas of the island, smashing Badniks and taking Robotnik down whenever they encounter each other, before arriving at Mad Gear Zone. Then, after another scuffle, the doctor retreats to his E.G.G. Station in space, with the blue blur using a spare rocket device Tails gave him to follow.
On the space station, Sonic faces Robotnik in his new Death Egg Robot, which ends up causing major damage to their surroundings. So, once the doctor’s taken care of, the blue blur flees the exploding station, and heads back down to the island, successful in saving the day again…
Or did he REALLY save the day?
​
Sonic The Hedgehog 4 (Episode Metal):
Though Robotnik’s machines and space station have been destroyed by Sonic, he’s been successful in the first phase of his grand project. Making sure the blue blur doesn’t know about his real goal, and knowing where a certain artifact is on the island. But right now, his concern is a returning Little Planet…and with it…a returning machine…
​
Next Chapter
Archives
Unseen Adventures (Part 2)

Other stories of mine can be found in my wiki
For those who want to go back to the beginning, here's a link to book 1 chapter 1.
An image of Lon'thul
Of Men and Dragons, Book 3, Chapter 45
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The order had finally been given. A bellow arose from thousands of argu'n before everyone surged forward. Dak'ton felt his blood thirst rise as he launched himself ahead, albeit a little more slowly encombered as he was by the new tool Lord B'arthon had insisted they bring with them. Then there was a shout from the enemy lines that preceded the first volley of small spears launched toward them.
Dak'ton hadn't believed they could be thrown this far, but judging by the path they were arching in his general direction, the warrior was suddenly grateful for the large thick wooden planks Lord B'arthon had insisted they carry with them. Raising it over his head, he could hear impacts all around him and a few screams as the wooden planks proved insufficient for some in the face of such a barrage. Dak'ton himself felt a jarring impact as one small spear hit his shield and a second impact as it pierced through the wood and hit his chest plate.
The warrior froze momentarily, wondering if he was dead, before realizing the combination of wood and his bone plates must have saved his life. However, Dak'ton was further delayed by trying to wrench the spear from his chest and planks as more warriors ran past. Finally, there was a sharp jolt of pain as he pulled the spear free. He was dismayed to see a trail of blood leaking out of a wound in his chest, but it wasn't deep enough to be a serious concern, so with a grunt, he threw the spear to the ground and resumed his charge.
Looking around, it was clear others weren't as lucky as him. Several were down when the spears impaled their legs where the wood hadn't protected them. Others had spears piercing through their wood like Dak'ton had, but the spear had gone on to hit them in more lightly armored areas like their arms or sides. One unlucky warrior had his wood now pinned to his arm as he screamed and grasped the small spear in an attempt to pull it out.
As Dak'ton gained more ground, another shout went out, and he raised his wood planks again, this time bracing in place, feeling his blood rush in fear as he waited again for impact. However, he didn't have to wait as long this time and again felt a jarring impact. This time the spear pierced through his planks higher up, punching all the way through and continuing to the ground beside him, narrowly missing his head. Around him, others fared worse a second time. A few had dropped their planks after the first barrage, having been unable to wrench the spears free, and were now paying the price.
Dak'ton blinked stupidly a few times before dropping his planks as instructed and running toward the enemy lines again. Lord B'arthon had told them the enemy would only have time for two barrages before they closed the distance, and rushing there after the second would eliminate the risk of a third, and all Dak'ton wanted was to never experience something like that again. Those small spears traveled so much further and faster than normally thrown spears, and they hit much harder despite their small size.
That was when he looked at the enemy and realized Lord B'arthon had made a mistake. Only half the enemy had fired the second round. The other half was still waiting with those odd spear throwers ready to unleash their second round. Dak'ton had a moment of grudging respect for those workers' discipline before a third shout was followed by more spears launched in their direction. Without the protection of his wooden planks, a spear hit Dak'ton clean in the shoulder, and he felt himself being pulled back as if some large creature had ahold of him and was pulling him bodily to the ground. That was when the searing pain came, as though his shoulder was on fire, and Dak'ton's screams joined the chorus of those screaming around him.
-
Lack'nul had no idea how Jack had foreseen the enemy would have those wooden planks, shields he'd called them, but the guard captain was glad he had. Perhaps the human had even more magic than he let on? He'd even been right about the enemy dropping the shields before engaging in melee, saying they would likely be too crude to wield while fighting due to rushed production. Because of that, the second half of the second volley devastated the enemy's front line in the section in front of his workers.
Further down the line, the warriors of the hill people were hurling more traditional throwing spears to lesser effect, but thankfully the enemy didn't seem to have enough shields to arm their entire front line with, so the spears were still effective.
The spears and belly bows had thinned the enemy front lines, but they were still drastically outnumbered. Lack'nul shouted for the workers to discard their belly bows and take up their spears. The workers threw the bows to the ground a few feet in front of them, hoping to trip up the enemy, then raised their spears and braced for impact.
-
A'ngles frowned from his position overseeing the battlefield. The second half-and-half volley had been unexpected. Not that it had cost them too much in the way of manpower, he estimated in total they'd lost maybe a hundred warriors between all three volleys and perhaps a hundred more across the rest of the front lines to the more traditional spears, only a fraction of the two thousand warriors charging in at the moment. Still, it definitely had an impact on the morale of that all-important center formation. Moreover, they'd slowed enough that the front line had bowed back slightly in the middle. Between that, the enemy's armor, and the obstacle the bulky weapons presented on the ground, the eventual charge had much less impact than he'd expected, with more of his own men going down in the initial exchange than the enemy.
Even all this wasn't nearly enough to change the battle's outcome, but it was just a few reminders that this wasn't their usual opponent, and only the gods knew how many more surprises they had in store.
-
The fighting was starting to get desperate. Lack'nul parried blow after blow with his sword, trying to create openings for the workers next to him to take advantage of with their spears. Occasionally an enemy would go down, taking the spear with him, but then the hill people behind them would hand the worker a new spear, and the fighting continued. Then there were the longer spears being thrust from further behind by the hill people. They didn't account for much in the way of killing blows, but they were one more complication the attackers had to beware of, preventing them from striking with total confidence.
It was strange for the guard captain to be fighting on the side of the hill people against what were likely guards from other villages, but he shoved that thought out of his mind as he parried another couple of spear thrusts around him. He wondered if any of the workers he was now familiar with had already died, but again shoved the thought from his mind as he took advantage of an opening and shoved his sword through an enemy warrior's midsection.
His victim grabbed hold of the blade as he fell, and rather than fight for the weapon and leave himself open for others to take advantage of, Lack'nul let go of the weapon and shouted behind him. "Spear!" Soon enough, the shaft of a spear was pressed into his waiting hands, and the guard captain resumed the fight, spinning the end of his spear in a way meant to shake loose his opponent's grip on their own weapon before thrusting forward and scoring a grazing attack his across the warrior's throat. It wasn't deep enough to kill but more than enough to spook his opponent, who drew back for a moment in shock.
That created enough of an opening that Lack'nul should have been able to get another kill, but then he noticed a spearhead flying toward him from the side, forcing the guard captain to step back and bring up his own spear, spinning the shaft in a way to deflect the strike and allow him to bring his own spearhead around to strike, driving his second foe back before turning his attention to the first, swiping with the butt of his spear before bringing the head around for another strike more designed to buy a moment than land a killing blow.
The guard captain was breathing heavily, wondering how much longer he should try to hold this spot.
-
A'ngles watched intently as the fighting continued, focusing most of his attention on that all-important center line. He could see individual fighters moving back and forth on both sides. Occasionally some fell and were replaced, but the armor on the workers kept them alive longer. But, of course, that also meant they were constantly fighting for extended periods, unable or unwilling to switch out with the less well-armed and armored allies behind them. In a massive battle like this, endurance was the key to victory, and it was just a matter of time before his greater numbers took their toll. Perhaps it was simply his imagination, but it seemed like the enemy line was starting to bow just the slightest amount in the middle. He just had to keep the pressure on...
Turning to two of his aide, the Village Lord issued his orders. "Send a runner to either flank and order fifty warriors from each to peel off and reinforce the center."
The aide nodded and repeated his orders to two runners as the old Lord continued to observe the battle.
-
Lon'thul traveled through the forest with an arrow knocked but not drawn as he crept ahead of the rest. Aside from Jack, Angela, Em'brel, and the wolgen all at the rear, the rest in their group were all hunters, used to moving quickly and silently through the underbrush, but even compared with the proud hunters of the hill people, Lon'thul was the undisputed master of his trade. So he walked ahead of the rest to look for ambushes.
It could have been just another day on the hunt if it weren't for the sounds of battle a little to his right. The hunter was glad non of his friends could see him at the moment, or else they'd notice his characteristic grin was absent in favor of a more stern expression. Something felt off about the forest, and he couldn't quite place a talon on what it was. He felt as if a presence had passed through not long ago, but the only person who could move this subtly was...
That was when the hunter noticed another scout ahead of his position. By Lon'thul's standard, he was moving loudly and clumsily. Looking around to ensure there wasn't anyone else present, Lon'thul took aim while inhaling silently. Once he had his target, he began exhaling while drawing back on the string, letting loose the arrow when he was about halfway out of air. After long hours of practice and countless hunts, he knew the arrow would fly true. However, he couldn't help but momentarily hold his remaining breath as he waited anxiously for a fraction of a second it took the arrow to clear the distance to its target.
As expected, the arrow embedded itself into his target's throat, pinning him to the tree behind him as the scout struggled briefly before falling limp. After ensuring there was no other movement to indicate another watcher, Lon'thul crept up and silently removed the arrow. Jack had once again been proven correct. It looked like B'arthon had sent an ambush to cut off their flanking maneuver. However, if the hunter could get enough of their scouts quickly enough, they might be able to ambush their ambushers. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he mimicked a kovaack's grunt to signal a halt. To his ears, it sounded nothing like an actual kovaack, but other hunters had told him it had an uncanny similarity from a small distance away.
Assuming one to two hundred warriors, they probably had ten to fifteen scouts. As the hunter snuck through the brush, he kept his ears open for any minor disturbances. A shadow out of place, or the sound of a twig cracking where he knew no animal would be. After an agonizingly long minute during which he tried to not think about what was happening in the main battle, he found another hunter, but this one was dangerously close to a second.
Lon'thul frowned, sliding sideways to get a shot from their flank with his back to the position of the one he'd already taken out so he could sneak closer to take his shot. Finally, after a few more agonizingly long seconds, he was in position, and the hunter knocked another arrow.
Standing and drawing in one smooth motion, Lon'thul took quick aim at the further of the two hunters before either knew what happened and loosed his arrow. However, rather than wait for his arrow to hit the target this time, Lon'thul dropped his bow while drawing a knife in one smooth action and flung the blade at the second scout, who was already starting to move at the appearance of the enemy from his supposedly protected flank.
Once again, rather than wait, Lon'thul leaped at his target, who was starting to fall, opening his mouth to shout out, but the hunter wrapped his arm around his victim's throat, slamming his mouth shut on his tongue, turning the scout's shout into a loud whimper as the hunter finished the job.
Lon'thul grabbed his knife and slunk back into the shadows, waiting for more scouts to come to check on the sounds of the scuffle. It was only after none appeared for over a minute that the hunter retrieved his arrow and returned to his bow with a frown. He was confident he'd been quiet enough to avoid detection by the main force, but the next scout over should have heard the twigs snapping as the two combatants struggled. Had he simply run back to report the disturbance without checking on the source of it? Given Lon'thul's reputation, it might have been a good move, but then the whole group would be "ambushing" every medium-sized animal in the forest, giving away their position! It didn't make sense...
The hunter calmed himself. Rather than jumping to conclusions, the only thing for him to do was precisely what he thought they should have done, go and check it out. He'd simply have to trust Angela to inform the rest if he walked into some ambush since she was silently watching everything from his headset.
As he rounded another tree, he found some disturbed underbrush roughly where he expected the next scout to be. As he crept closer, he realized there was a body there. The scout was already dead!
Lon'thul froze, holding his bow and ready to draw in the blink of an eye if any threat presented itself and thought rapidly. He knew he was the only one of his people's scouts out this far, so it couldn't have been any of his men. But what purpose could they have for placing this body here? He'd suspect a trap, but it made no sense. Still, it wouldn't help anyone if he stayed here any longer than he had to, so Lon'thul resumed movement, redoubling his efforts to remain silent and hidden as he moved.
After another moment, he came to another likely location and, after a moment of observation, found another dead scout. This time the hunter crept closer, inspecting the body. The sout's throat had been slit, likely from behind. He could even imagine someone's hand wrapping around the poor scout's mouth to silence any shout before the knife had done its work. That meant someone had walked right up behind the scout as he'd been searching for his own prey. Lon'thul might have been able to pull that off on a good day, but he'd never have risked it with so much on the line. Remembering the presence he'd felt earlier, he realized only one other hunter could pull something this brazen off...
Now Lon'thul was fully alert, scanning every shadow and listening for even the slightest disturbances while waiting with an arrow ready. This time he didn't have the luxury of waiting for his opponent to act first. He had to take the initiative and do it now! But beating his father in a duel wasn't his objective. Outmaneuvering the enemy force was. Putting a hand on the headset, the hunter activated the com and broke silence for the first time. "My position may be compromised, but if you move fast, you can still take the enemy unaware. Tell Jack to charge now!"
Putting his hand down, Lon'thul settled into position and readied another arrow. He knew his father wouldn't kill him like the other scouts, but that didn't mean the old hunter wouldn't try to pull him out of the battle now that he'd given away his location. The younger hunter would just have to be even faster this time...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wiki

In case you missed it and are interested, book 1 is available to purchase in digital or physical form.
If you want to support my work or help me cover the costs of publishing, you can find my Patreon here. Though it's not necessary, I'm really just glad you took the time to read my stories.

Hi, all.
I've been a "cargo-shorts" for since high school twenty years ago, but now need to diversify into at least the option of something nicer for the summer months.
I'm 5'11, 190 lbs. Not overly muscular, but not skinny. I ordered a few pairs of various brands of Chino-type Shorts on Amazon's trial service, but none of them fit well. Maybe I'm just not used to shorts that are a little tighter around the thigh and above the knee?
Anyway, can anyone recommend a brand or cut/style that's comfortable, nicer than cargo, but also not hugging my thighs/nuts?
Thanks!

--- Table of Contents ---
--- Part 1/2 ---
When Shon woke again, it was to be told he'd slept, not only the rest of the day and night of the incident, but the entire day after as well. Despite the Cleric assuring Shon that this was normal, he still had Shon eat breakfast in the infirmary while the Squires attended their morning lessons. He'd slept through drills, breakfast, and prayer.
The Cleric kept the curtains drawn over the window, though Shon's head wasn't pounding anymore, and had added a second set of standing curtains around the girl's bed. Shon's eyes flicked in her direction with every alternate bite he managed to force down, but there was no movement beyond the white cloth.
Master Daunas came in shortly before tenth bell and armor practice to inform Shon that he was to take the day off to rest but could rejoin the others in training the following day. He was at least allowed to leave the infirmary, though he waited until he could hear sparring outside before he did. He didn't want to run into any of the Squires.
As he opened the door to leave something flew by the window, catching Shon's attention enough to make him stop and look over. But it was already long gone. Just a bird... Assuming he hadn't imagined it. He shook his head, still aching all over. His mind swam with worries and memories, made worse by the fact that the Cleric was trying to hide shivers now that Shon was fully rested. He'd probably just imagined it...
Back in his room Shon huddled over his journal. He could still smell the smoke in his hair and had decided it would be best to shower soon, but finally alone, his thoughts and memories could no longer be ignored.
So he drew. He tried to start safe. Nangran atop his borrowed horse; Ivelm mostly naked and shaking a club in his doorway; the Archmage's workroom lined in shelves filled with magical components. That one had taken a while. But as he released these images onto the page, others forced themselves forward. Smoke billowing over treetops; a burning tower; charred bodies; and a girl reaching out through the flames. A girl lying asleep in the bed next to his. The stillness of the picture made her look dead.
He dropped his pencil, letting it roll right off the desk. Crossing his arms over the book, he rested his head on his desk. The wood felt warm compared to his skin, comforting. What more could he have done? What could a Paladin have done? Or Master Veon-Zih? Shon saw again the bodies and shivered.
No one could save everyone. To think otherwise was pure arrogance. But knowing the facts and feeling them were two very different things. The tower wasn’t that far from Hamerfoss. Shouldn’t they have known something was going on? Shouldn’t they have been able to do something sooner? Years sooner? Long before the fire killed those people?
A loud tapping startled him awake. When had he fallen asleep? Shon searched his room in confusion, trying to piece together his dream and what had awoken him. He'd been in the Temple chapel, but as he'd walked down the middle aisle, the pews had started to decay, the stone walls crumbling. Small plants, then trees began to sprout from the ground, overgrowing the once-holy place now in ruin. Shon pressed the heels of his hands hard into his eyes, trying to remember what had come next... A man with white hair pulled back in a ponytail had been standing at the head altar... something with leathery wings on his shoulder...
The painful screech of something sharp on glass had Shon jumping up, his chair falling to clatter on the ground behind him. He looked to his window but saw only orange sky beyond. Was the sun already setting? He knelt on the mattress and looked out the window, unsure what he expected to see. He was on the third floor, but that was definitely where the sound had come from, and the window was the only glass in the room.
Nothing but open sky.
He opened the tiny window, the pane swinging up and letting in cold and refreshing air that helped clear his mind. Master Daunas's voice bellowed orders from the courtyard below, and Shon stuck his head out to look down and see his fellows working through their dagger forms. He'd slept through lunch and afternoon lessons. And he still needed a shower.
If he hurried, he would be able to shower before the others finished their lesson. Shon left the window open and even opened his door before he remembered to grab a fresh uniform. Obviously, he still wasn't thinking clearly.
The halls were blissfully empty, and Shon could almost pretend that even if he did pass someone, their breath wouldn't show in the air. It was a short-lived fantasy, however. He managed to make it all the way to the showers, but when he opened the door a voice called, "Squire! Why aren't you... Oh..." Shon performed a sharp about face to stand at attention before the Major General.
"At ease, Squire Shon," Selibra sighed, waving him down, "Did you get enough rest?"
"Yes, Sir," Shon answered but then caught movement out of the corner of his eye, again. He hadn't managed to turn his head far enough to see before the Major General started speaking. Shon snapped his head back to give the officer his undivided attention.
"You did well, Squire. Smith Nangran told us what happened at the tower." Sir Selibra managed a strained smile that faded quickly, "If you want to talk about what you saw there... any one of us will be more than willing to listen. You shouldn't have had to experience death so soon." an image of an arm pulling away from a charred corpse flashed in Shon's vision.
Shon swallowed down the accompanying nausea at the memory and managed a nod, adding a quiet "Thank you, Sir." for good measure.
Feeling the need to scrub even more than before, Shon was grateful when the Major General left, allowing him to enter the still-open room. The shower was only mildly comforting, however. What should have been scalding water felt merely lukewarm now, the mist billowing off his truly icy skin thick enough that he could barely see the spigots. Closing his eyes, he scrubbed and tried to imagine the images flowing off of him with the filth...
Something chirped, and Shon slammed the water off. Just the pipes creaking... How much longer would he have to rest before his mind stopped playing tricks on him? But as he moved for his towel, Shon stopped in shock, his new uniform had been scattered around the benches and floor.
He hadn't heard the door open, but had heard the pipes creaking? But who here would even do something like this? Shon started to search the showers, but as he did, he heard something else—voices in the hall. The Squires were done with their practice. He still didn't want to see them and dressed quickly, rushing from the shower and slamming the door behind him.
Something thumped into the door from the other side. Shon held his breath and turned slowly. It was his imagination. It had to be. He reached for the handle again and, standing behind the swing, opened the shower slowly.
"He's been gone three days... Do you think they sent him away?" Thom's voice sounded from around a corner, and Shon jumped in surprise, pulling the door open fully as if he could hide behind it.
"No way. he's the best Squire we have, so what if he's a Sorcerer." They were talking about him... Shon definitely didn't want to see them yet. He dashed down the opposite way, taking a long way around through the Paladin's barracks and back to his room. Or that's what he'd planned before he remembered the Squires hall would be full of people now taking their break and trying to get into the shower before everyone else. His feet faltered, and he turned away again, to one of the hardly used stairs that would take him down to the rest of the fortress.
Barred from his room, Shon made his way to the place he associated the most with comfort, the chapel. It wasn't empty, three Paladins knelt in prayer near the front, but it didn't matter anymore. He felt a wash of calm as he entered the incense-filled room, the sweet-smelling smoke finally banishing the stench of burning hair from his memory.
Shon took a spot near the back, kneeling to pray as he stared up at the statue of Hengist behind the altar. He was dressed in full plate mail, his arm raised in triumph, holding his mighty sword, Darkspliter.
Shon sighed and felt himself smile for what felt like the first time in a very long time. He could tell Hengist anything and everything, and none of it out loud... But then his smile faded. What would he say...?
I'm sorry. I feel like I've been lying to everyone, to you. I've known there was something different about me, something wrong with me. That's why no one likes to touch me, why everyone pulls away at the feel of my skin, like it's somehow dirty or painful. I should've realized... Should have known...
But I worked so hard... You know that, don't you? And I'm not ready to give up. I'll do whatever it takes, atone anyway I can if you just tell me how. The Major General said something about it being a sign. I want to believe he meant the unlikely convenience of Smith Nangran knowing an Archmage who could make an item so I won't have to get the tattoo. Thank you. I just hope I don't disappoint after getting a second chance...
The bell for dinner sounded. Feeling better, Shon considered going with the Paladins as they left the chapel. Until one of them shivered as they passed. "Winters right around the corner," another muttered.
"We'll need to install the heating orbs soon." the last answered before the door closed... He wasn't hungry anyway.
Please, Hengist. Don't let me hurt anyone else. Kefir was trying to help me, and I answered that kindness with pain. What if the healers hadn't gotten to him in time? Would I have smothered him in ice? Please, I'll give up everything if it means that will never happen again...
But he didn't want to give up anything. He wanted to fight, to reach his highest potential, and lead a life of meaning. He thought of Master Veon-Zih. The Monk had told him that he didn't need to be a Paladin to fight for justice, and he was living proof of that. But...
I don't want to be alone... At first, I thought I just wanted you, a god, as a guiding light in my life. But now I realize that being a Paladin gives me even more than that. It gives me brothers and friends, and I don't want to lose them either. But I especially don't want to hurt them.
Shon clenched his hands tighter, as tight as he could, digging his fingers into the spaces between his knuckles; as if external pain might dull internal strife...
They say I'm scary... And I know they aren't really joking. I can see it in their eyes and hear it in their nervous laughs when they try and make it a joke. But they only mean when they fight me... don't they? And I'll never try to hurt them. It's only sparring... they know that... don't they?
He squeezed his eyes tighter shut,
But what about now? Will they be even more afraid? Even when we aren't sparring? Can I blame them if they are?
He actually found himself waiting for an answer... Of course, none came. He wasn't a Paladin yet, and wouldn't be able to feel the god until he swore his Oath and took a piece of Hengist into himself. For now, Shon took in a deep breath, as deep as he could, then let it out slowly, relaxing his hands and face as he attempted to release his anxieties unto his god.
I won't give up. I'll fight this danger within me as hard as I will fight any threat without. I ask for your help with this. Please don't give up on me yet. I'll prove I'm worthy, I swear.
The bell ending dinner and starting study time sounded. Shon stayed in the chapel until a handful of Squires came in to pray themselves. They hesitated by the door, but Shon didn't look at them. He knew he couldn't hide forever. But he also wasn't sure what he should say to any of them. Or if he should say anything at all. Shon waited until they moved away from the door to finally stand. If he had to face any of them, he wanted it to be the ones he considered friends first.
Shon left the chapel and made his way to the library, fighting the urge to just go back to his room. Heads swiveled in his direction the moment he opened the library door. Shon flinched, sucking in a sharp breath and holding it, pulling his energy in as best he could.
He stepped in, and the Squires exchanged looks, but then the Paladin on library duty coughed, and they quickly went back to reading.
His typical spot was available as usual, so Shon made his way there. The others would want to talk after... and if not, he would just go back to his room. Distracted by his continued worries -and the silent effort to hold his energy in- Shon still heard when something behind him hissed along the stone.
He spun quickly, scanning the floor. This time he definitely wasn't imagining it...
"Squire Shon... Shouldn't you be resting?" He turned back to find the Squires trying to make it seem like they weren't staring at him, while the Paladin who called looked openly concerned.
Shon's cheeks flushed, now feeling cool rather than warm. Another change... He cleared his throat, "No, Sir..." and when the Paladin's worried expression didn't let up, Shon added, "I've been resting all day."
"Three days..." Zihler muttered.
Shon met his eyes and the Squire smiled, but Shon couldn't tell if the expression seemed strained or not. He nodded anyway, taking his seat alone at the table by the window.
Books on their current subject of study were already laid out, and he pulled one forward, opening it without checking the title. As he read, he could hear the others occasionally whisper and even caught snippets of what they were saying,
"I found another one. Do you think this will be enough?" Thom asked.
"We have the rest of the hour; we should find all we can," Rerves answered. It didn't sound like they were studying, but Shon had missed three days of lessons; maybe they were working on an assignment... He went back to his reading. He would get any missed work tomorrow.
When the bell rang that would finally begin their last hour of free time, Shon closed his book. It would be best to just go to bed early; everyone seemed to think he should be resting anyway; they could talk after he got the sealing item... But he hadn't stood yet when his six closest friends jumped up, books in hand, and crowded around him, preventing him from leaving. From running away.
"We're glad you're okay." Rehlien blurted out.
"The Major General told us what happened," Baradin added.
Shon looked from him to Kefir and took in a sharp breath, "I'm..." he started to apologize, but Kefir interrupted with a broad smile,
"I'm fine. I even got a day off for it. I didn't need it though, they healed me up right away."
Rerves placed his book down on Shon's table, "It was just really surprising, you know? But hey! Now we know why you're so cold all the time."
Shon looked down at the massive tome on the table, not wanting to meet their eyes. He didn't know what to make of what they were saying. There was no way it was okay. How could they be alright with a dangerous magic user that could kill them all on accident...
"We found these. We thought they might make you feel a little better," Thom whispered, stacking his book on top of Rerves' and opening it to a page he'd marked with a ripped piece of scrap paper. It wasn't a textbook, it was a record book. Shon furrowed his brows down at the page, reading 'Sir Patrich, served 4876-4929, died 4955. Paladin of Hengist, General. Air Sorcerer...'
Shon looked up to find them all smiling down at him. Zihler set his book down over Thom's, opened to another personal record, "This one was a fire Sorcerer, and they're supposed to be the most destructive."
Rehlien took Baradin and Kefir's books and stacked them with his own beside the open records. He ran his fingers over the slew of bookmarks sticking out of the closed pages, "All Sorcerers and Paladins." Rehlien said.
"Master Daunas said you would be back in a few days, but just in case we wanted to find these for you," Thom explained in a rush, "You know... in case the officers or Mages needed to be convinced..."
Baradin cleared his throat before he spoke, clasping his hands behind his back, "We haven't found any ice Sorcerers yet, but they're also the rarest, so that really shouldn't be surprising."
"Yeah, and there are plenty of fire who are crazy dangerous even when they're trained," Kefir added quickly.
Shon could feel a burning in his eyes and blinked furiously, looking away from his friends. He wouldn't cry.. he wouldn't. "Thank you..." he managed to croak out, finally giving in and rubbing his eyes. None of them commented on his show of emotion, or the frost clouding his window.
Rerves took the seat across from him with a smile, "So, what type of familiar do you think you'll get?"
Shon managed to stop blinking enough to arch an eyebrow. Hadn't Ivelm said something about a familiar too?
"I bet you it'll be something really lame." Zihler laughed, "To balance Shon's badassness."
"Squire!" the Paladin librarian barked, "Pushups! Now!"
Zihler groaned, mumbling as he stepped back to perform the punishment, "How do they always do that?"
"Divine hearing," Rehlien snickered as Zihler started the pushups, "Probably only works for curses, though."
"You can join him," the Paladin called without looking up from his book, and Rehlien groaned, dropping down next to Zihler.
"Seriously though," Rerves said, ignoring the boys huffing and puffing through their punishment, "Familiars are animals, they're supposed to be even closer to their Sorcerer than a Paladin and their mount! Like an extension of yourself. You can see through their eyes and talk to them with your mind. It's awesome!"
Thom actually blushed, confessing, "We read up on it a bit over the last two days..."
They knew more about what he was than he did. Shon actually smiled, starting, "I don't..." but chittering, like a particularly loud squirrel, interrupted him. The Squires all swiveled their heads to look around, Rehlien and Zihler jumping to their feet with the Paladin, who stood so quickly his chair fell over. The chittering turned to chirping, and then to a purr, as Shon finally found what was making the noise.
On top of the bookshelf closest to the door, sat a tiny dragon.
The size of a large barn cat, its scales were mostly brown but had streaks and blotches of red and orange, like the few deciduous trees that still held their leaves in autumn. Its leathery wings were folded against its back and its front claws grasped the edge of the bookshelf. Its long tail, complete with a scorpion-like stinger, flicked back and forth, its sinuous neck held high as it surveyed the library.
Some of the Squires let slip breaths of wonder, and the little dragon seemed to preen at the attention, holding its head a little higher and purring even louder. The Paladin, however, stepped around his desk and commanded, "Stay back, Squires," before he started chanting. The little dragon tilted its head at the Paladin, as curious as the rest of them. A moment later, the knight's spell washed over them to fill the room, sending a shiver down Shon's spine and making more than one of the other Squires shudder.
The little dragon let out another string of chittering and hissed down at the Paladin, whose eyes went wide as he announced in a breath, "It's real."
"How did it get in?" a senior Squire asked. Shon started to stand but then fell back again as images flooded into his mind. He watched a window opening from outside the fortress, and saw himself lean out. Then the image shifted, and he saw himself digging under his bed for a new uniform and towel as the him that was watching slipped out the door. It shifted again, and he saw himself in the shower, mist billowing off his shoulders before he dug through the piles of clothes left on the bench. It shifted again, and he darted into the library and behind the bookshelf, watching as he, Shon, walked in and sat down at the little table.
Shon blinked and shook his head furiously to try and clear it. All the pictures had flooded in so fast that no one even had time to answer the question or pose their own, "I let it in..." Shon whispered, then looked at the Paladin, explaining quickly, "I didn't mean to. I left my window open to air out my room and..."
"It's okay, Squire," the Paladin was actually smiling, and the little dragon whistled, "They're goodly creatures, though elusive. I've never seen a live one." the dragon leaned forward on the bookshelf, crouching down on its front claws and wiggling its hindquarters before it leaped into the air, opening its wings to spread as wide as it was long. It glided a lap around the library then hovered in front of the Paladin, chittering again and flapping hard enough to blow the man's short hair back before flying right towards the group of Squires around Shon.
It brushed Baradin's head with its claws, the boy ducking as it swooped down to land on Shon's table. The dragon looked from the open books to Shon, then, before Shon could pull back, climbed up his arm and to his shoulder, purring hard enough to vibrate Shon too. It weighed considerably less than it looked like it should, though its claws were sharp enough to pierce through his clothes as it climbed. It brought its face right up to Shon's eye, and though he tried to pull away, it followed him with its long neck, rubbing its cheek along his face. The scales were smooth and lacked temperature, like being touched by a gloved hand. It nuzzled his cheek again, then down his neck and into his shirt.
Surprised, Shon tried to throw the dragon off, but it just dug its claws into his sleeves, chittering angrily then clawing its way around to his back before lifting itself up to drape over his head. "What..." Shon started, but the Paladin cut him off with a laugh.
"I think that answers your friends' questions, Squire."
Shon was too confused to even arch an eyebrow at the man, but Rerves apparently understood what he'd meant because he said, "But I thought only animals could be familiars, like cats and crows and stuff..."
The Paladin nodded but then shrugged, "That's usually the case, but sometimes, rarely, there will be a Sorcerer who gets something a bit more special, like a winged serpent, fairy dragon, or in this case," he nodded at Shon, "A pseudodragon."
The pseudodragon purred, vibrating Shon's head. The Squires all gaped slack-jawed in awe at it, and Shon reached up slowly. He wasn't even sure what he was going to do, pet it? Push it off? But before he'd even touched it, it lifted its head, stretching its long neck out and nuzzling into his hand, obviously not caring that his skin was colder now than it had ever been.
"Damn..." Zihler muttered in obvious disappointment, "I was really hoping it would be a toad so I would have something to make fun of..."
The little dragon's answering twitter almost sounded like a laugh.
***
She groaned, rolling over and nuzzling deeper into Her pillow. Except it didn’t smell like Her pillow. Her eyes flew open, and She sat up. Then fell back down. That was stupid. Ran and Brom had probably taken more blood than usual again… except She couldn’t remember them taking Her for samples. Not for weeks and weeks…
“It’s alright, you’re safe here,” the kindly voice of a man spoke from Her right, and She sat up again, more slowly this time. A stranger in white robes with a sword embroidered on the chest reached out to help Her up, but after touching Her back he pulled sharply away.
She was too confused to apologize for burning him. “Where?” She asked, looking around the room. Like the stranger, it was covered in white. White blankets, white rug, and white curtains hanging to either side of an open window. A window that looked out onto a blue sky. She gasped, scrambling from the bed and nearly tripping over Her white gown. Of course it was white. How in all the hells did they keep it all clean?
She shook Her head and rushed for the window. The man behind Her gasped, his chair scraping loudly as he stood to follow. She pressed Her hands on the cold glass, staring up into the sky, “I’m on an upper floor!?” She grinned excitedly over Her shoulder as the stranger stared at Her, mouth hanging open.
Turning back to the window, She used Her arm to wipe the fog from Her heat off the glass, letting Her gaze trail down. She didn’t see the treetops She expected. Not close anyway. Instead, the forest was beyond a wide clear field, which in turn was beyond a tall stone wall with people dressed in silver walking along its top. She stood on Her toes to look down through the window. Between the wall and Her was a courtyard full of more people swinging things that glinted in the sun.
This wasn’t the tower. None of those people wore robes except the nice stranger. She spun to him, “My treasures, where are they? Brom? Ran? Where…” She saw a flash of red, heard a pained bark, and smelled iron. She fell to Her knees, grasping Her chest and breathing hard, remembering bits and pieces. He killed them. He killed all of them. Then what? She couldn’t remember...
“You are in a training facility of the Temple of Hengist, Hamerfoss, in Clearhelm.” a new voice, deeper, less kind though not cruel, spoke from the doorway. Lifting Her head, She saw the new man wearing a crisp, white, uniform, with a sword hanging comfortably from his belt. Hengist… so that explained all the white.
The kind man in robes had rushed to Her but dared not touch Her. Wise. With Her head spinning so fast, there was no way She was controlling Her heat properly. “How long has she been awake?” the new man asked the kind one.
“She just woke up, Major General,”
“He killed them…” She whispered, squeezing Her eyes shut, pushing back the rage and sorrow, trying to fill in Her memory. What happened next?
“It will be alright. You're safe here,” the kind man said again.
She pulled Her own hair, lacing Her fingers into the golden strands and squeezing. What had happened? She had run down the hall, but how had She gotten out of Her room? There were strangers in Her tower. These men? She glared up at the brown-haired man who looked down at Her, his hands behind his back.
“Who are you? What did you do to the Mages?” She could feel the hair rise on the back of Her neck and a familiar tingling where the collar should be.
The Major General remained calm before Her building fury, saying only, “Calm down.” It was a command backed by magic. She felt the power flow over Her and try to settle on Her mind. She could almost sense the peace it promised but shook Her head, clearing it of the spell.
He could've used his magic to hurt Her. Perhaps not with the collar as the Archmages did, but in other ways. And yet, he hadn’t moved from his spot, his hands still behind his back. She looked again at the sword of Hengist at his side. She'd read all about the gods. Hengist was good and noble, all about self-sacrifice and protecting the weak… A fool, the Mages had said. And yet his Temple ruled this province. The Mages of Her tower would never work with the Temple of Hengist. Or any kingdom order…
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She didn’t need his help to calm down, not when She had something to focus on. She shoved Her grief to the back of Her mind. “How did I get here?” another image flashed in Her mind, fire all around, a white path, blue eyes.
The Paladin didn’t answer right away; instead, he motioned for the robed man - a Cleric? - to bring him a chair. She tilted Her head curiously at him, but he only sat down with a weary sigh, then gestured towards the bed, “Please, have a seat.”
She stood, returning to the bed and eyeing the door over his shoulder. He hadn’t locked it. “We saw smoke from the woods and found you in a burning tower.” the blood drained from Her face, “We have recovered several bodies from around the structure, but there were no other survivors.” he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and fixing Her with a piercing stare, “What happened? What was going on in that tower?”
She brought Her feet onto the bed and hugged Her legs tight, “I don’t… I can’t remember…” a fire, the tower burning… But it was made of stone. Her fire couldn’t burn that hot… Could it?
“Sir Selibra,” the kindly Cleric sounded stern, crossing his arms and glaring down at the Paladin, “She has just woken up from what was obviously a terrible ordeal. Show some compassion.”
The Paladin, Selibra, actually looked ashamed, leaning back in his chair and clearing his throat, “I apologize, miss…” he drew out the last word, looking at Her expectantly. She tilted Her head. “What is your name?” he asked more clearly. She tilted Her head the other way. Were they going to play that game here too?
The Cleric hummed then said, “Please forgive him, miss, we are all very troubled by the events and deaths at the tower. The Major General merely got ahead of himself. If you could tell us your name, then we can let you rest and…”
“I don’t have a name.”
The two men blinked dumbly at Her, and She rolled Her eyes, “I knnnooowww,” She let Her legs fall back down, so She was sitting properly again, “But I don’t know it yet. As soon as I do, I'll tell you.” She assured them. The men exchanged looks as She glanced again out the window. Maybe She should've just told them what Brom and Ran called Her… But those weren’t names. They were descriptors. No better than ‘Firewyrm.’
If these Temple men were to be believed, everything was gone. She had no room, no books, no clothes, no treasures, and no name. What did She have? She pulled Her hair over Her shoulder and stared out the window as She stroked it. She had Her hair. They hadn’t cut it in months. She had Her body. She straightened Her posture, holding Her head high. And She had Her power—the fire crackling deep inside Her soul. The Mages had taken the first two. The third had destroyed them.
“You should rest,” Selibra stood, and Her eyes snapped back to him, “You can send for me when you feel ready to talk. Until then, focus on recovering your strength and your memories.”
He made it all the way to the door, even swung it open before She called out, “What are you going to do to me?”
Selibra turned back, his eyebrows raised in surprise. The Cleric placed a hand on Her shoulder, slowly and carefully, gauging how much of Her heat he could handle. She turned to him, and he let Her go. He'd held on longer than expected. “We will keep you safe, child.” the Cleric assured Her.
The Paladin grew stiff for a moment, then brought his right fist up to his chest, “By the sword of Hengist’s honor, we will safeguard your life and freedom,” Freedom? “Whatever injustices you endured there, you will find justice in the laws of Clearhelm.” She didn’t know what to say, and so, after an awkward moment of silence, Selibra turned for the door again and left.
She didn’t lay down. Instead, She walked back to the window. The view seemed to stretch on forever from so high up, higher than She'd ever remembered being before. Even when She used to climb the trees around Her tower.
Selibra hadn’t locked the door, but the Cleric bustled around behind Her, and the wall below Her clanked with armored knights. What was freedom anyway?
--- Table of Contents ---
Thanks for making it this far, you are the real MVP

Hello fellow Ryan Redditors!
Summefall 2021 > Overly stoked Ryan had surfaced playing free live shows for us on Instagram. So overly stoked that in support, I bought just about everything he threw at us. I'm a sucker that way :) However, SIZING is all over the place these days, so it was hard to choose AND keep choosing without having received any previous orders. The result is a stack of size LARGE awesome shirts that I've never worn, and clearly will never wear at this point. They need good homes!
All unworn. A few arrived with a weird plastic smell, so they were washed once in cold water, dried on low heat for a few minutes to get the wrinkles out, then hung dry.
Link to photos and receipts here: https://imgur.com/a/ojFNzad?s=sms
Cost = Original price plus shipping cost to you. Discount on multiple items!
Every purchase will include a little Ryan bonus of some sort :)
Hollar with any questions and/or offers!

• "Insta LifeFeed" T-Shirt Size: L $25
  
• "Oh My Sweet Carolina" T-Shirt Size: L $30
  
• "Magnolia Mountain" T-Shirt (Japanese) Size: L $33
  
• "New York New York" T-Shirt Size: L $33
  
• "I See Monsters" T-Shirt Size: L $33
  
• "Two" T-Shirt *Can't find the email receipt/confirmation for this one, and there is no size on the shirt anywhere 🙄 Size: 99% sure it's a LARGE I'll go with the low end price - $25
  
• "Come Pick Me Up" T-Shirt [w/ Lyrics on the back!] Size: L $35
  

p.s. I still have a TON of things from that Instagram merch marathon! Blanket, pillow, tote bags, long sleeve shirt, at least 2 tees...

Was offered to help set up for a major Pride event in my local city today. Feel like I screwed myself out of a long-term gig. For background, most of my experience is with digital marketing, and social media, with two PA gigs behind me (over two years ago).
The company I work for is a sole own ownership fo a major event planner in the city who has a ten-year track record of running various sold-out events (flea markets, shows, etc), with a stellar reputation. Had an interview with the owner and her assistant last month and it went well. We clarified that I was looking to make a career change from digital marketing to on-site events production, and we confirmed that my PA experience was limited. Was told to hop on for my first event at the end of May, but received little to no communication from them regarding call times, etc. Upon following up the day prior, I was told that due to weather (outdoor event) - I would not be needed and to instead help out for their next major June event, which was held today.
I had to initiate a majority of the follow-up to confirm the date, location, and call time. Did not receive until night before.
Here's where I fucked up:
-Missed my alarm by an hour (The call time was 9 AM). Immediately reached out to the assistant event planner to profusely apologize and advise I would be there ASAP. I show up close to 10 AM due to traffic and apologize again once checking in on-site and jump right into helping get things sorted for indoor installations. Admittedly, I was very frazzled but ignored those feelings as much as I could in order to catch up on all work needed. Being late was 100% my fault, and I made sure to acknowledge apologize, and accept full blame for this mistake. Was told it was fine, and to do my assigned work.
-Asked for any available tasks/call sheets. Was told there were none and was assigned tasks verbally as needed by various individuals of the team. I made sure to introduce myself to everyone on the team that was there, tell them I was on the PA team, and to advise to let me know if any help was needed.
-Majority of the tasks involved cleaning, moving around gear, etc. I made sure to complete each tasks as asked, and checked in with my lead when I could find her to give her updates. Everyone leading the teams seemed extremely overwhelmed, so I did my tasks as quickly and quietly as I could, staying out of the way and letting them do their thing. My main contact seemed extremely frazzled and exhausted when I checked in with her. Walkies were not issued at all to anyone, and most instructions were delivered directly.
-I'm prone to anxiety and in between tasks I took 30 seconds to step aside (outside of view) and maintain myself as best I could. This was after helping load out a full room of geaboxes/furniture and setting up a dressing room. After confirming with one of the leads if it was ok to take a 20-minute minute break to drink water and something to eat before continuing tasks (everyone was about to break for lunch). Said lead brought me over to the venue bar (packed) - advised me to order my meal and water and that it would be comped under the company bill. When the food didn't come out on time, I immediately went to try to find that same lead to let her know, but could not find her for a good fifteen minutes. Asked teammates and everyone. After finally finding her, that's when she pulled me to the side and asked if I was okay, and that I seemed very frazzled. I explained that being late threw me off quite a bit, but I was ready for whatever else they needed me to do. She said ok, told me to hang out for five minutes to drink wateeat, and to not rush. Upon returning, she thanked me for the help, said she wanted to make sure everyone on the team was "in a good place mentally to work" - and said I could go home. I apologized and said I did not mean to come across as frazzled while working, and she said she understood as being a PA herself a while ago. She walked me out a short minute after, saying she would grab my bag for me. I said goodbye and asked if they would be needing any help with their next event, which she said "possibly, we will let you know." We also confirmed payment terms.
I feel like they aren't going to let me know, and I made a horrible impression on everyone on the team. I'm incredibly upset at myself over this, and I don't know what the best approach is moving forward. Outside of being late and everyone being overwhelmed, I enjoyed what I did and want to make this a career (transition out of digital marketing.)
​
Is there any recourse left for me at this point? This would have been a dream gig for me long term and I feel like I fucked up so bad there's no going back.

I don’t know if any of you have noticed, but the last few years have been wild for airline travel. It seems like not even a week can pass before a new viral video is circulating the internet, showcasing some idiot on a plane or airport screaming, shouting, and even starting fights with other passengers and flight staff for no apparent reason.
I’m sure it’s entertaining when you’re sitting at home and come across these videos while casually scrolling through Reddit or Twitter. You might laugh, or shake your head at the stupidity and not give it a second thought. Unfortunately, this isn’t an option when you’re the one on the job.
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve had to call security to deal with a rowdy or straight-up violent customer in the airport over the last couple of years. Most of the time, the things that set people off are surprisingly minor and avoidable issues.
They want to board now but it wasn’t their turn so they start harassing me and my co-workers. Another passenger looked at them funny so they get into a screaming match. A baby is crying so the grown adult starts whining even louder. The person in front of them took the last chocolate donut with sprinkles from the airport bakery so they start throwing punches.
You would not believe the stuff I’ve seen. Needless to say, I got tired of it. Getting up to go to work, wondering what kind of unhinged maniac was going to make a problem for me lost its appeal. So, I started to look for a new job.
A few weeks into the job search, I began to get doubtful that I would find a suitable replacement. Seeing as my only tangible skills and experience were in the airline industry, I didn’t have much more than other airline jobs within realistic reach. Though I didn’t have a problem with relocation, if it meant I was going to end up in another major airport, I had no interest.
During one 3 am job search after my long shift at the airport, running on nothing but the jittery movements from the room-temperature coffee, I found a new job listing. One Pine Airport, a rural airport in the midwest. I sat up and took another sip of coffee. The pictures for the place gave an idea of the size and it looked tiny. Only a couple of runways, a single terminal, and a cute internal design reflective of the forestry that surrounded it. Perfect for me, I thought. I imagined there would not be nearly as many people to deal with.
I scrolled down to the job details and to my relief, it was for the exact same job I had already been doing. The only difference was that it required frequent night shifts. I had done plenty of night shifts before, but doing a few more of them made no difference to me. Surprisingly listed was the pay. I couldn’t believe my eyes. They were offering more starting than I was being paid at the airport I had been at for over three years.
Now wide awake, I eagerly uploaded my resume, filled out all of the application questions, and even spent the next hour crafting an unnecessary cover letter. I headed to bed with the hope that my days at overflowing airports might be over. The next day as I was getting ready for work, I opened my phone to scroll through notifications and check emails.
To my disbelief, I had one from the job I had applied for only hours earlier. The manager at the airport, who had posted the job, requested an interview over Zoom. I quickly replied and we settled on a time during my lunch break that very day.
The first few hours of work breezed by and as I boarded flight after flight of passengers, I couldn’t help but think about the upcoming interview. When it came time, I was nervous as hell but my fears were diffused within the first minute. A bald, well-kept, and well-dressed man joined the meeting room and greeted me with a warm smile. He introduced himself as James.
I couldn’t have asked for a more friendly interviewer. He welcomed me and after some small talk and a few questions about my relevant experience, he gave an overview of the job's details, that being the same job I already had with better pay but more frequent night shifts. No problem with me. After affirming that I knew all the details of the job, James cracked another wide, friendly smile and asked an unexpected question.
“When can you start?”
I spit the out sip of coffee I had just taken back into the cup. I looked back up at James and tried to find the right words but I was unprepared.
“You uh… aren’t gonna give me a call back like later or something? Don’t you have more interviews and… and paperwork waiting to clear and, and…?”
James waved his hand dismissively at his webcam.
“You’re the only applicant we have, and we couldn’t have asked for a better one. As for the paperwork and such, we’ll figure that out when we figure it out. The job is yours, whenever you can start, that is. Preferably soon?”
Though the feelings of shock and confusion remained, they were pushed to the side by my excitement. Throughout the remainder of our conversation, James and I reviewed our schedules and set up a start date before ending the call. I sat back in my break room chair with a sigh of disbelief and a chuckle.
I am well aware that it is standard to give at least a two-week notice to your employer and moving across states for a job is supposed to take quite a bit of planning but I was dying to get out of my current job. Through both eagerness and maybe a little stupidity, we settled on a day only a little over a week away.
At the end of my shift that day, I let my manager know I had to be done in a week. Though she wasn’t happy, she assured me it wouldn’t be a problem.
My final day was nothing short of horrendous. A couple had come up, demanding and screaming that I refund their tickets for no apparent reason. On top of that, they still wanted to fly. After hearing that no, they would not be able to fly for zero cost, the husband, followed by the wife, both started shouting threats. Security was quickly called to the terminal.
As soon as they arrived, I checked my watch to find that my shift was over. I let out a sigh of relief and excitedly walked away. As deprived of sleep as I was, with a long and undoubtedly stressful drive ahead of me, I was still more energetic and in higher spirits than I had been in a long time.
Surprisingly, the drive went off without a hitch. I arrived earlier than expected and checked into the motel room I rented for the week so I had time to get the move figured out. After dumping a few boxes of personal items and a suitcase of clothes into the room, I turned off the lights. I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I energetically awoke that evening to prepare myself for my first shift. I quickly got dressed and started the drive in hopes of arriving plenty early. Naively, I hadn’t considered how my unfamiliarity with the roads would slow me down, and after a staggering amount of wrong turns, I arrived at the little airport with only minutes to spare.
The airport was even smaller in person than I had imagined it to be from the pictures. I quickly walked through the entrance and was greeted by the small team of security. After notifying them that I was there for work and that James had been waiting for me, they hurried me through without so much as a question. The security, the architecture, the beautiful scenery that surrounded it, nothing about this airport couldn’t have felt more welcoming.
I walked through to find the single terminal inside, devoid of any passengers, with James sitting behind a counter at the end. After a moment he looked up and upon making eye contact with me, his tired face lit up. I was about to apologize for my tardiness but didn’t have the chance as he rushed to show me the employee locker room where he had my new employee uniform and badge waiting inside my very own locker. He told me to get changed and to meet him outside right away.
I did as he asked and within a couple of minutes, I walked out to find him back behind the console at the counter, gathering his belongings. He noticed me approaching and glanced up, thanking me for showing up and starting so soon as he handed me a fresh cup of coffee. He also apologized for not being able to stick around long for my shift but he sounded sure that he wasn’t all that worried.
“I have to be going now, I’ve been on duty for 17 hours. I know you’re plenty familiar with our systems and software, you know what you’re doing.”
He assured me with a pat on the back before walking out from the desk. He turned and added
“It’ll be a quiet night for you anyway. No flights scheduled. Just sit back, relax, and uh... Oh yeah. Most importantly, I nearly forgot”.
He reached into his bag and pulled out a single sheet of laminated paper and held it in front of me.
“Give this a read as soon as you can. Go over it a few times if you need, don’t deviate from it”.
I took it but before I could even get a look, I noticed James begin to walk toward the exit, along with every single one of the security guards and the cashier who had just closed down the only shop in the airport. I then noticed that all of the scanners and metal detectors at the security gate were shut off. I started to panic.
“Hey! James? Where is everyone going?”
I shouted. The first words I had managed to speak to my new boss since arriving. He stopped and turned back again
“Oh yeah. Another thing I ought to have mentioned. Everyone except whoever is working the night shift in, well, your position takes off right around now. Don’t worry, security will be back sometime around 5 am. You’ve got this place to yourself. Grab a magazine from the little store in there if you get bored. Feel free to snag yourself a couple of snacks too”.
He began to walk away again before briefly turning and pointing at me.
“But before you do anything, read that list. You’ll need it”.
I stood, dumbfounded as I watched my new boss along with all of the other airport staff leave. I started to wrap my head around the fact that I had an empty airport to myself for 10 hours, with nothing to do and no one to deal with, all while I was getting paid the highest wage I had ever earned.
As much as thinking about it delighted me, I turned my attention turned toward the sheet of paper I almost forgot I was holding on to. James said to follow whatever list was on it, so I figured I ought to take a look. I walked behind the airport counter and sank into one of the seats behind it. I took a sip of coffee and finally took a serious look.
A total of 6 rules were neatly spaced on the sheet.
Rule 1: All lights in the airport are to stay on at all times. If one is off, or if you are to accidentally turn one off, turn it back on as soon as possible. If a light seems to be broken or is out and unable to turn back on, calmly exit the area. Report the outage to James or maintenance when possible. Do not listen to the sounds. Do not listen to the voices.
Rule 2: Rule 2 pertains to rainy or stormy weather. If it is raining or storming outside, disregard rules 3, 4, and 5. They will not be a concern during these types of weather conditions. Stay inside at all times. Do not use the men’s restroom and avoid going near it entirely if possible.
Rule 3: Sometime between 11 pm and 1 am, a young woman will walk out of the women’s restroom. She will enter the terminal and sit, occasionally getting up to walk around or change seats. Her name is Elizabeth. She will attempt to make conversation but you must not reciprocate. You may look at her, you may give nonverbal communication such as a head nod, you may write as a means of communication, or you may shake her hand but do not speak to her. If you refuse to speak to her, Elizabeth should be gone within a few hours. If you happen to make such a mistake, go to the men’s restroom and wait for her to leave.
Rule 4: At around one or two in the morning, a janitor in blue coveralls will arrive at the front entrance. Crack open the door and ask for his name. If he says his name is Simon, let him in. If he gives you any name other than Simon, shut the door and lock it without another word and walk away. If the janitor is Simon, he will attend to the janitorial needs of the airport. If he asks to clean where you are standing, oblige him. Simon will not interfere with your duties otherwise. He is not hostile or dangerous. You may engage in conversation with Simon. He will leave the same way he came when he feels it is necessary.
Rule 5: At around 3 am, you may notice that a black and red Cessna Skyhawk has landed on one of the airstrips. You will never see it land, and you will never see it take off. It will just appear when you’re not looking. After spotting the plane for the first time, do not look at it again. Avoid looking in its general direction if at all possible. There is a picture of the exact plane displayed inside the terminal, behind the counter.
Rule 6: Later in the night but sometime before dawn, a group of men claiming to be from TSA may arrive at the airport. They will have their own key and let themselves in. Some could be armed. Often, they exhibit panicked behavior. They may search through the airport, sweep room to room, and ask questions. They are permitted to search anywhere in the main airport building that they please, and you may oblige to any questioning but under no circumstances are they permitted to enter the sky bridge. They will not enter without verbal approval and they cannot harm you.
After reading over it a few times, I set the laminated sheet down and leaned back further into my seat before taking a long sip of coffee, wondering what on earth I had just read. I hadn’t taken James to be the imaginative type. Most of all, I hadn’t taken him to be anywhere near the unprofessional type. Though as I thought about it, it was unusual how rushed this all was and how he left in such a hurry, leaving so few details.
I began to wonder if I was being pranked, I considered that maybe this was all some sort of messed up joke or setup. I ruled that out pretty quickly. This was, in fact, a real airport. I had done plenty of research by the time I got here. At least a few real flights were coming in or going out each day. James has been working here for years and I couldn’t think of a reason why he would jeopardize his job or reputation just to get a scare out of me.
After chuckling to myself at the absurdity of my situation, I decided to indulge and see what would happen. Maybe it was a “test” for me as a new employee. Maybe James wanted to see if I could follow orders.
After glancing at the list once more and realizing the impact rule 2 had on the number of things I would have to keep track of, I brought up my phone to check the forecast. Clear skies, not a chance for rain or storms all night. Great, I thought to myself. I had to watch out for these Elizabeth and Simon characters to show up and I suppose “not” be on the lookout for a random plane to appear on the runway.
I stood up and grabbed my coffee, walking to the glass panes. I took another sip from my cup while admiring the lit runways along the airfield. It sure was a pretty nice sight. As I was raising my cup to finish what was left, I began to hear the click of shoes on the floor somewhere behind me.
Startled, I spun around abruptly, dropping my cup and spilling the remainder of the coffee in the process. At the other end of the terminal seating stood a young woman, around her mid-twenties in my estimation. She was holding two large leather suitcases in each hand and had an old-fashioned sense of style with a skirt and heels. Most surprising was her stunning beauty and welcoming smile.
“Oh I’m sorry dear, didn’t mean to scare you”
She expressed with a sincere tone. I opened my mouth, ready to assure her that everything was fine but I stopped myself. I recalled the list. At this point, I was certain that she was here at James’s request, a paid actor determined to make me break the rules. I was more determined not to. Instead, I simply fixed my posture, straightened my uniform, and looked back with a smile.
She walked to the counter where she placed her leather suitcases on the ground before closing the distance between us.
“Looks like we’ve got this fabulous airport all to ourselves. I am Elizabeth”
She said, reaching out her hand. I shook it, but she didn’t seem quite satisfied.
“And your name?”
I continued to smile and lock eye contact. Her grin grew for a moment before she remarked
“You don’t seem to be much of a talkative one”
And with that, she turned and started to walk away. I returned to my seat behind the counter, watching her closely as I did. Elizabeth proceeded to the unattended airport shop and after a couple of minutes of looking over magazine covers and occasionally taking a peek inside, she returned carrying a small stack of reading material. She approached my counter before placing a National Geographic magazine in front of me.
“I figured you might like this one. Enjoy”
She said, winking before settling on a seat in the first row of the terminal, straight across from where I had been sitting.
Remarkably, her intuition was spot on. I may have lived in cities all of my life but I loved nature, despite how little of it I had gotten to see. National Geographic was a favorite of mine, one I had been familiar with and enjoyed on work breaks from time to time. Rarely was I given this long to be able to read. I was almost tempted to break the rule and thank her for her rather thoughtful act, though I didn’t. I stuck to the rule.
The next couple of hours were uneventful. Elizabeth and I read through our magazines, occasionally looking up at each other to exchange glances and smiles. Within that time, she had attempted to get me to talk at least half a dozen more times. I almost gave in when she asked me if I wanted another magazine.
At a little past 1:30, I could hear a knock at the front entrance. Elizabeth and I both looked before she remarked
“Oh, that must be the nice cleaner man”
With a giggle before returning to her magazine. I walked over to the front doors and sure enough, there stood a man around his mid-thirties, sporting a blue janitor suit waiting patiently at the door. I unlocked the door and opened it. As he took a stride to enter, I remembered the most important detail from rule 4. I closed the door halfway and sternly commanded
“Wait”
The man looked up at me with a surprised look. I asked him the question.
“What is your name?”
The man stared back at me as an innocent smile formed on his face.
“I’m Simon!”
He announced excitedly.
“The Janitor here. Did James let you know I was coming tonight?”
I stood there for a moment, thinking over the rule, before nodding my head and opening the door once again to let him in.
Once inside, Simon walked with purpose to the janitor's closet which was positioned near the men’s restroom. I followed him somewhat suspiciously for the next few minutes as he began to clean but I eased up once I got the feeling that he was just the janitor around here and that James made up the whole “ask for his name thing” to make into one of his rules.
I returned to my counter in the terminal and continued to read. Occasionally, Simon would pass by, off to do his duties in some part of the airport or Elizabeth would stand up to look at the various pictures and paintings on display in the terminal. A good half an hour of this would go on before Simon approached the terminal counter with his mop in hand. He seemed to be eyeing up the two leather suitcases Elizabeth had set there.
Assuming he wanted to clean where they were, I got up to move them. I grabbed each one by the handle but failed to lift them off of the ground. Confused, I stepped back to see if they were stuck on something. They were not. Just two suitcases, left right where Elizabeth had set them.
I tried to lift just one. Again, I failed. I tried both hands, putting my back and legs into it with all that I had. It wouldn’t budge.
I looked back up at Simon who nodded his head in Elizabeth’s direction. I turned to look at Elizabeth, who after noticing my stare, and my apparent inability to move her luggage, smiled and stood up.
“Let me get that for you”
She insisted. With ease, she lifted both leather suitcases and moved them closer to her seat before lowering them, this time letting them drop a few inches. When they hit the ground, a boom echoed through the airport and I flinched in surprise. I looked back at Simon, who hadn’t seemed shocked at all. He just continued to mop.
I slowly made my way back to my seat, not taking an eye off Elizabeth for one second as I did. After a few minutes, she looked back up from her magazine, noticed my stare, and returned to her reading with a grin. She seemed to find my shock amusing. Eventually, Simon noticed my surprise as well. He paused his mopping and approached me before raising his head.
“I know, I know. Stick to the rules and everything will be just fine, trust me”
He stated quietly. I nodded my head in response.
Simon went back to his cleaning. A few minutes passed before Elizabeth had something new to say.
“What a remarkable aircraft!”
She exclaimed, looking out the glass panes facing the runways. I followed her gaze to the lone, black, and red airplane positioned on the runway. I turned around, looking at the picture displayed behind me. It certainly looked like a match. I turned back to the window and felt my heart sink. A silhouette of a person now stood next to the plane, facing the airport and the windows of the terminal.
“Stop looking at it”
Simon sternly muttered from behind me. I looked back at Simon who quickly cowered, seemingly ashamed to have raised his voice at me but I was grateful he had. I read over rule 5 again, specifically where it stated to not look at the plane twice. I murmured insults at myself under my breath but they didn’t have much room between my now heavy, frantic breathing. My eyes darted through the other rules. I chose to focus on that sheet of paper. At least it was something other to look at than the plane outside.
This went on for a good ten minutes or so and my breathing started to calm down. I had begun to pray in my head that whoever and whatever that was would go away when Elizabeth suddenly approached my counter. I snapped my head up in a jittery movement to make eye contact with her.
“I’m going to get some more reading material. Want another one of those?”
She asked, reaching a hand out to my National Geographic magazine. I looked up and nodded, forcing a smile. As She moved away, my gaze didn’t, and once again I found myself looking at the plane on the runway, the silhouette now standing hundreds of feet away from the plane, even closer to the building, and still staring in my direction.
Chills ran up my spine as I snapped my gaze back to my desk. I began to shake with fear and the manic breathing returned. Moments later, Elizabeth returned and placed a new magazine on the counter before running a hand over my shoulder, seemingly to comfort me. Simon then put his hand on my back.
“He’ll be gone soon and so will the plane. Just don’t look at it again”
He assured me.
“Mind if I clean here?”
He then asked.
I got up and walked to the end of the counter, watching Simon thoroughly clean the floor before I looked up and let out a soft
“Thank you”
He nodded and smiled back.
“What was that?”
Elizabeth asked. I turned towards her.
“Oh, I was just thanking Simon for-”
My error occurred to me before I could finish speaking. My eyes locked on Elizabeth as she stood up from her seat and her smile faded. Her eyes and nose began to bleed profusely as she started to sob, lightly at first, then hysterically. She let out a bellowing screech, a mix of pain and anger. She picked up one of her suitcases and hurled it at me, I barely dodged the ridiculously heavy object before it crashed into the wall behind me.
Luckily I was quick thinking this time and made a run for the men’s restroom recalling rule 3. She chased after me but I slammed the door shut in her face and locked it. Elizabeth pounded on the door with furious anger a few times but gave up quickly.
“So that’s how you dance, is it love? I can play that game”
She snickered before flipping a light switch outside of the bathroom. The clicking of her shoes faded away. A few minutes of silence passed before laughter started to become audible from the other side of the door.
One voice grew to two, two voices grew to three, three grew to ten. While others continued their now hysterical laughing, some began to scream. I crumbled to the floor, covering my ears as the voices went on, only stopped by another flip of the switch. Light beamed through the bottom of the door.
“It’s over now. She’s gone, and so is the plane. I’ve gotta be getting out of here soon”
Simon’s calm and friendly voice called out. I reluctantly exited the bathroom and followed him back to the counter, where he had prepared another coffee for me.
“Wish I could have done more there but you’ll come to find out that when Elizabeth gets angry, you just gotta let her do her thing”.
I looked up at him, still with my distraught face, at a loss for words. Over the next few minutes, Simon finished cleaning Elizabeth’s blood from the floor before putting everything back into the janitor's closet. He looked down at his watch.
“I better get out of here. Good luck with the rest of your night. I hope I’ll be seeing you soon”.
He said, letting out a sigh as he again looked at me in pity. I think he knew how shaken up I was. It was like he had seen people in my position before. Something told me he doesn’t have a choice on when he leaves. After I watched him exit the door, I returned to my seat behind the counter. I began to feel alone and afraid, but the loneliness wouldn’t last at least.
Only minutes after Simon left, the doors swung open and men in tactical gear, most of which had their faces covered in masks and goggles, rushed through the door. I sprung back up from my seat and watched as they did, with not much else I could do. They swept room to room, checking every nook and cranny at gunpoint, ignoring my existence at first.
As they cleared the entire building, the twenty or so armed men made their way to the terminal seating area. A lone man in a suit, whom I had not noticed enter, made his way to the front of the group.
“I’m with TSA, I’m going to need you to answer some questions for me”
He demanded. I nodded in affirmation.
“How many individuals have you seen in this airport since the security team left the building?”
“Besides myself, 2 Inside, one outside”
I answered confidently.
“Was the individual outside next to a black and red Cessna Skyhawk?”
“Yes”
I again responded confidently. The man in the suit nodded and paused for a moment before making another demand.
“We’re going to need to search the air bridge”.
I glanced back at the sheet of rules on the counter. Making sure I had read it right before. I took a step forward and straightened my uniform.
“No”
I replied. The man in the suit looked irritated.
“If you do not step aside and give us permission to search, I’m afraid I’ll have to detain you”.
Already tired and worn out, I wasn’t going to break the last rule. I decided to give a not-so-smart remark to the man in the suit
“Looking a little well-armed for TSA, wouldn’t you agree?”
He ignored my comment.
“Last chance, step aside”
“No”
Again, irritated by my response, the man in the suit turned to his right and raised his chin to give a signal. Gunshots rang out and I collapsed to the floor. I felt as though my life left my body before it all faded to black.
The next thing I remembered was the feeling of my hand gripping a water bottle. Then came James’s voice.
“I see you made it through the first night intact. Looks like you got to meet Simon. He’s a nice guy, you’ll get to like him. And Elizabeth, she’s…well, she’s something else, isn’t she?”
I opened my eyes and looked up at James.
“Am I dead?”
I asked in a raspy voice. James chuckled in return.
“No! No, you did great. You’re fine. It does, however, look like you might have been a little assertive to our undead TSA special forces wannabes. I would recommend sticking with the less aggressive tone and word choices, maybe I ought to edit that into the rules sheet… In any case, they can’t hurt you but they can still get a jump out of you, as you saw”.
Once again, I was at a loss for words. I slowly made my way back to my feet from the ground and looked at the sunrise over the airfield. James held out an envelope for me. I opened it, revealing a stack of crisp $100 bills.
“A little bonus for your first night. It sure is a lot to go through for the first time but I promise, you get used to it all”.
I turned to James with an angry look and finally spoke up.
“What the hell is wrong with you? What makes you think it’s okay to put someone through this without any warning? I'm done, keep your damn money. I’m gonna go call the cops”.
I started to walk towards the exit when James stepped in front of me.
“Look, I know it isn’t fair for you but it wasn’t fair for me either. It wasn’t fair for any of us. It’s not okay, I know. But what do you expect me to do? Someone needs to be here for the night shift. You wouldn’t believe any of this if I told you ahead of time. You would have thought I was some sort of nutjob and the police will think of you the same if you tell them. I needed you to see it for yourself”
James was starting to get worked up and stoppeto breatheth before continuing.
“This money is yours, no strings attached. You’re free to leave now and never come back, there will be no shame in it”
I also started to calm down but I couldn’t bring myself to look James in the eye yet.
“If you choose to stay, I’ll see you in my office to finish up your paperwork”.
And with that, James walked away. Facing the front of the airport, I watched the first passengers of the day come through the entrance. I just stood there for a few minutes. Whether I was ready for this job or not, I knew right then I sure as hell wasn’t going back to another overcrowded city airport.
I turned and headed for James’s office.

I’m about to start breeding and selling my shrimp for a little extra cash and I really want to make a breeder tank with a grass or leaf carpet and mountain rocks. I’ve already added Java moss to my cart to add to the rocks and 2 cholla wood tunnels but I’m not sure what seeds to order for the carpet. I’m doing a dry start with the plants.

This is part of my little series about the adventures of Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick. If you'd like to read previous parts, they're linked below, along with brief summaries in case you prefer to just jump right into the new part:
Part One: Alien learns what "sleep" is and how humans prefer to do it in a comfy bed with blankets and pillows. And they find it utterly adorable.
Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick are sent on a survey mission together. Things go south, Aldrick makes sure they're safe, and then Vr'ocria learns what human sleep is and how vulnerable humans are when they sleep. Vr'ocria's people don't sleep, but enter stasis, a form of rest in which they typically stand, and they are still slightly aware of their surroundings. Vr'ocria finds human sleep utterly adorable, and also decides she will protect Aldrick while he sleeps. And she also develops a massive crush on him. (Her scales turning purple is her version of blushing)
Part Two: An alien + human adventure with such shenanigans as poison drinking, befriending dangerous wildlife, and fighting a space pirate. Oh, and they have a huge crush on each other.
Part Three: When a cold-blooded alien has to cuddle a warm-blooded human for warmth
Part Four: A human leaves a hickey on his alien lover. Her nestmate doesn't understand what a hickey is, and thinks the human injured her
Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick end up assigned to be partners. Vr'ocria is a witness to both human shenanigans as well as human durability, but she also begins to learn about the limits of the human body--they are not invincible.
She and Aldrick begin to fall in love, and they finally confess their feelings for one another when Vr'ocria admits to accidentally forming a mate bond with him. Vr'ocria's nestmate, Galek, is not very happy about her being involved with a human, but begrudgingly respects her decision.
Part Five: Space pirates make the grave mistake of attacking a human's loved one. They very quickly learn what happens when a human is angry and full of adrenaline
Pirates come for Vr'ocria in revenge for her killing one of their own. Aldrick goes beast mode. 'Nuff said.
Now for the new story!
(Some of y'all are already picking up what I put down taps nose...)
"'Bumps and bruises' he says," Vr'ocria muttered. "Bumps and bruises!" She crossed her arms. "Bumps and bruises don't bleed, Aldrick."
They were back on the ship, in the med bay. Aldrick was lying on an examination table, naked except for a blanket pulled up to his hips. He was sedated, so he couldn't hear her anyway, but that didn't stop her from grouching.
As soon as they'd boarded the shop, Aldrick began fading fast. He was suddenly slumped and stumbling, eyes tight with pain, and they had to be beamed directly to the med bay. He'd been covered in so much pirate blood that the blood of his own injuries had gotten lost in the mess. Once the med team got to work cleaning him up, all of the cuts, claw marks, and stab wounds began appearing, and as soon as the orderlies let her, Vr'ocria was rushing back to his side. By now, most of his wounds had been closed up, but she still vividly remembered the bloody, black and blue skin that emerged when they peeled his shirt off.
Dr. Fen continued fussing over Aldrick. She was Lymeran, a species similar to humans, made distinctive by their flat noses and bone ridges that curved around the outer corner of their eyes. She swept her dark ponytail over her shoulder as she reached for a new tool. "He also has several hairline fractures in both arms and three cracked ribs," she reported briskly. "Honestly, these humans are going to be the death of me."
Vr'ocria's spine tightened with worry, her scales flushing red. "How could he go so long without collapsing?" She asked.
"Adrenaline," Dr. Fen explained. "It's a hormone that releases into a human's bloodstream during times of great stress. It makes them faster, stronger, more alert." She placed a small and round boneknit device on one of Aldrick's affected ribs. "But it also makes them immune to pain for a short time. That helps them keep going in a life or death situation, but pain exists for a reason. It alerts the body to injuries, it tells you when something is wrong and where. When you don't feel pain, you don't know when you're hurt, and you don't know when to stop if you're pushing yourself beyond your body's physical limits."
"Moons above," Vr'ocria murmured. She moved closer to the table, reaching out to stroke Aldrick's hair. Under sedation, his face was relaxed and free of lines, and she tried to take some comfort in that. "Will he be alright?"
"Oh, he'll be fine," Dr. Fen chuckled. "I'm good at my job, and humans are sturdy. He just needs to follow my orders for bed rest, so don't let him be an idiot and go running off."
That drew a smile from Vr'ocria.
As Dr. Fen continued bustling around Aldrick, she shot a sideways glance at Vr'ocria, a mischievous look in her eye. "So it's true that you guys are like…a thing? I noticed your scales have pink tips."
Vr'ocria blushed purple.
"Ha!" Dr. Fen smirked. "I knew it!"
"Shut up," Vr'ocria muttered.
"What? It's cute! And totally obvious. The whole ship knows at this point."
"The whole ship?"
Dr. Fen laughed. "Oh come on, it's not like you two are any good at hiding it. Anyone who knows anything about Ethyrian physiology knows what pink scales mean–full pink means you're experiencing strong feelings of love, right? And even when you're not particularly emotional, your neutral green with pink tips indicates you're within proximity of your mate. And the way he looks at you–"
Vr'ocria blushed harder and covered her face. "Oh planets, why are so many people invested in our relationship?"
Dr. Fen shrugged. "Well, historically, Ethyrians don't tend to mate outside of their species. It's not every day you see one mate another species, much less a human."
Vr'ocria couldn't help smiling. "Well, it's his fault for being so cute."
"He sure is," Dr. Fen winked.
"Hey," Vr'ocria jabbed a finger at her, "professionalism."
Dr. Fen raised her hands. "I'm very professional! I also have eyes and can acknowledge that you're a lucky girl, and I hope the two of you will be very happy together."
Vr'ocria kept stroking Aldrick's hair, her scales easing into a strong pink. "Me too."
—
By the next day, Dr. Fen had skillfully mended both skin and bone. She discharged Aldrick and let him return to his living quarters, with the caveat that he rest for at least a week.
He and Vr'ocria walked through the corridors arm in arm as she escorted him back to his quarters. They weren't even pretending anymore, and they drew plenty of stares and whispers as they passed by crew members milling about. There weren't many humans onboard to begin with, so Aldrick already stood out. Walking arm in arm with an Ethyrian must've looked even more bizarre.
Despite all the attention, Vr'ocria decided that she wouldn't be embarrassed anymore. She pulled Aldrick a little closer and held her head high as they passed a group of giggling ensigns. My human. My mate.
Aldrick's quarters, like hers, were small but comfortable. The door opened into the living space. Aldrick had decorated it with various Earth flowers and plants that sat in pots scattered about the room, some hanging from the ceiling. The lush greens, pinks, reds, purples, and yellows, made the place feel warm and inviting. The back wall was almost entirely windows with a plush couch pushed underneath them, so that one could recline and watch the stars fly by.
Vr'ocria ushered Aldrick straight into the bedroom, which was similar to the living area, just smaller and furnished with a bed, a nightstand, and a small armchair. "You're going to bed," she ordered.
"Aw, come on," he whined as she shoved him onto the mattress, bending down to pull his boots off.
"Doctor's orders." She put his boots aside and stood, placing her hands on his shoulders to push him down onto the pillow.
"I'm not tired!"
"Liar." She could see the bags under his eyes that she'd come to learn was a sign of exhaustion, and despite his protests, he didn't try to fight her off as she settled him in and pulled the blankets up to his chin.
He couldn't help chuckling. "I haven't been tucked into bed since I was a kid."
She sat on the edge of the bed with a smile. "Well, that's what I'm here for."
He rolled over onto his side and took her hand, placing a kiss on her knuckles. She squeezed back, and then made to stand to turn the lights off.
"Wait."
She turned back. Aldrick had pushed himself back into a sitting position. "Something's been bothering me."
She frowned. "What is it?"
"How did the Norvidians know you were the one who killed that guy?"
She blinked. "What?"
Aldrick twisted the sheets in his hands. "How did they know it was you? They knew exactly who you were and where to find you. The only people who knew what happened on Theta-7 is our superiors and people in our department."
Vr'ocria sank back down onto the bed. "What are you getting at?" She thought she knew the answer, but she didn't want to say it out loud.
Aldrick met her eye. "What if someone sold you out?"
Her spine grew tight, yellow rippling across her scales. "...No," she whispered. "No, that can't…who would do that?"
He chewed his lip. "I don't know. I hope I'm wrong, I really do…but…" he blew out a frustrated sigh. "I could blame a leak for them knowing you were the one to kill the guy. Someone could've carelessly mentioned something somewhere, I don't know. But there's no way they would've known exactly where to find you unless they were told. That was a brand new mission, no one knew where we were except for Command."
Vr'ocria felt sick. She didn't want to think he was right…but it made too much sense. "What do we do?"
"I don't know," he said with a pained look. "There's no telling who it could be, and if it's one of our superiors, we'd only tip them off if we approached them with this."
It was a conundrum Vr'ocria could hardly believe was real. Sure, she and Aldrick had some basic combat training, but soldiers they were not. They were survey agents, their job was to explore and study, not fight. And she certainly wasn't supposed be the subject of conspiracies and espionage or whatever was happening here.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Let's worry about this later. You need to get some rest."
Aldrick reluctantly laid back down, but blushed when she bent down to press a kiss to his cheek. It was the first time she'd kissed him since Gamma-5. "I could get used to that," he murmured as he snuggled into the pillow.
"You should," Vr'ocria giggled as she rose to her feet. "I'm not going to stop anytime soon." She switched the lights off, then returned to settle into the chair next to the bed, pulling her file pad out of her pocket. The screen's soft glow was the only light in the room. "Now, go to sleep."
"Yes ma'am."
—
Vr'ocria worked quietly on her file pad for the next few hours. Data entry was tedious, but somehow, she found a comfort in doing it while listening to Aldrick's slow, deep breaths.
So she was quick to notice when his breathing pattern changed.
Aldrick groaned and shifted in his sleep, rolling over onto his back. His breath began to quicken, and Vr'ocria lowered her pad to look over at him. By the low light of the pad's screen, she could only see the silhouette of his chest rising and falling, faster and faster.
"Aldrick?" She whispered.
"Nuuh," he moaned, beginning to thrash.
Alarmed, Vr'ocria stood and flicked his nightstand lamp on, dropping the pad on the table. "Aldrick," she said a bit louder.
His eyes were still squeezed shut. He was tossing and turning now, gasping through parted lips. He cried out again, and Vr'ocria felt her blood rushing fast and hard through her veins, her scales rippling between red and yellow. What was going on? Was he still asleep? She'd never seen him like this before, and it frightened her.
Tears were beginning to seep out from under his tightly shut eyelids. "No…no…" His voice rose in volume as he clutched and clawed at the sheets. "Vr'ocria!"
Whatever held Vr'ocria frozen to the spot snapped the second she heard him scream her name like that. She bent forward and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him. "Aldrick!" She cried desperately. "Wake up!"
"VR'OCRIA!"
"ALDRICK!"
With a strangled cry, his eyes snapped open. His pupils were blown wide and the whites were bloodshot as he stared at her in shock, still gasping for breath, his hands grasping her arms in an iron grip.
She took his face in her hands. "What's wrong? What's going on?"
He only continued to stare at her, the fog slowly clearing from his eyes.
"Say something!" Vr'ocria demanded, resisting the urge to shake him again. "You're scaring me, what's the matter? Does something hurt?"
Aldrick surged up, throwing his arms around her neck and pulling her down to him. She fell forward with an "oof" as her weight landed on top of him. "Hey," she protested with the side of her face pressed into the pillow, "I can't be laying on you, your ribs–"
"You're alive," he rasped into her ear.
She stopped struggling to get up. "What?"
He was shaking, and it took her a moment to realize he was crying. "You were dead, they killed you–I watched them–God, I watched you die–you weren't moving, your eyes–"
He was babbling almost incoherently, and Vr'ocria was terrified.
She finally managed to push herself off of him, and tugged him up into a sitting position. She pulled him forward into a hug, taking care not to squeeze his ribs. "Calm down," she tried to soothe as he clutched her tight, still shaking. "Just breathe." She didn't know if she was even helping, but she didn't know what else to do.
But it seemed to work. After a few minutes, Aldrick managed to slow his breathing down to a more reasonable pace, and she felt his muscles sag in her arms as the tension drained away.
"I'm sorry," he finally croaked. He pulled away and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" he struggled to find words. "I'm sorry for making a scene," he finished at last.
Vr'ocria placed one hand on his hip and the other on his knee. "What happened?"
Aldrick wrapped his arms around his middle. "I had a nightmare."
She furrowed her brow. "A night…mare?"
"A nightmare is a bad dream," he explained.
"...I don't understand."
"Sorry, I guess you wouldn't, since you don't sleep…uh…fuck, how do I explain this…" he ran a hand through his tangled hair. "When humans are asleep, even though we're unconscious, our subconscious brain is still pretty active. One thing it does is create dreams. During dreams you can see, hear, feel, smell and taste things that aren't there. Sometimes dreams are pure nonsense, just a mess of sounds and images. Sometimes you might have good dreams–maybe you fly, or go on crazy adventures. But sometimes, you have bad dreams. We call them nightmares."
Nightmare. What an awful word. It sent shivers over Vr'ocria's scales. "So just now, you…"
"I had a bad dream. A very, very bad dream." He dug his fingers into his temples. "When you're dreaming, in most cases, you don't know that you're dreaming. It feels completely real. And bad dreams are usually brought on by stress or fears you have. And my fear–" he broke off.
She squeezed his knee. "It's me dying?" She supplied quietly.
He shut his eyes as if he was in pain. "When I saw what those fucking pirates did to you–I've never felt so much fear in my life. I was so scared they would kill you before I got there, or that I would fail to save you, or–" he covered his face with his hands. "And I dreamed that I did fail. I watched him stab you. I watched you bleed. I held you and you were–your eyes were so blank–"
Vr'ocria didn't want to hear anymore. She yanked him forward, hugging as tight as she dared. "It wasn't real," she whispered. "I'm here. I'm right here."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." His arms still trembled and his voice was thick against her neck.
"Stop apologizing," she said firmly. "You have nothing to apologize for. None of it is your fault, not the attack, not the dream, none of it."
She felt him take a shuddering breath and let it out slowly. "Thank you, my love."
Her spine tingled.
"Come on, lay back down. I'll lay with you." She pulled back the covers and crawled underneath next to him. They settled down into a familiar position–him clutching her to his check, her arms around his waist, their legs tangled together. His heart was still pounding, but she listened as it gradually quieted to a gentler pace. Soon enough, Aldrick was asleep. This time, he slept peacefully through the night.
Nightmares can fuck up your whole night, man. I've had nightmares that were so vivid they stuck with me for days afterwards. Shit sucks, and I wish I had someone to cuddle with afterwards lolol
Thank you for reading! Until next time ;)

Hi everyone! My name is Frankie and im sending this post here in the hopes of making some friends or maybe something more!
Here's a little about me and my interests:

• Music: I am a huge music nerd. I listen to a lot of genres and have a lot of favorite artists, namely (and not by order of preference): Royal Blood, The 1975, Maneskin, Starset, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Brent Faiyaz... will edit this post if I remember more.
  
• Vintage Cars and other vintage stuff: I love cars, but especially vintage ones. I have one which I restored over the course of 4 years. I also love old stuff like Vintage clothes and others like vinyls and radios and so on.
  
• Video Games & PC Nerd: I play a lot of video games... huge variety in genres. I can play anything from Dead By Daylight to Minecraft. Besides this, I love to build PCs and other custom PC components and have been doing it for quite some time. Recently I've started coding since I just joined a Computer Engineering course.
  
• Location: I'm from Portugal, therefore my timezone is BST (British Standard Time)
  
• Physical Appearance (if that matters to you): 5'9, fluffy long curly hair, hazel eyes, wears glasses and is just a little chubby.
  
• Other Stuff: Don't remember any rn...
  

About you:

• You share at least one of the same interests as me
• Probably a little better at communicating then me (I promise I am a good talker as soon as we get along)
• If you are messaging me with interest on a relationship, looks don't matter much to me as long as you're not a 0/10 then I will love you unconditionally!
• Location: anywhere!

Uhm.. That is it for now. Hit me up!

First, I think it’s a good sign that I’m experiencing this side effect. I ordered my Tesamorelin from SAF, which hasn’t been getting good reviews lately. So I take it as confirmation that I’m getting the real deal.
But I am experiencing hand and wrist pain. It started with little aches last week, but I’m at the end of my fourth week now, and the pain has worsened… A lot. To the point that it hurt to hold my barbell at the gym this morning.
Is there any way to combat this? Will it eventually go away if I just suck it up? Is this a common side effect of all the secretagogues? I currently take 1mg nightly, 5 days on, 2 days off.

I don't have many friends and the ones I do have live far or have kids so I don't have many spontaneous friends who can grab a Sunday afternoon patio drink. However, I don't let that stop me. I'm not just going to sit inside and do nothing. I like beer on a sunny day so I just go out alone.
It's obviously a little busy today as the sun is shining, but I found space on a patio. The server seems to hate me. I'm not ordering food, just drinks. So far I've had a beer, which I don't just guzzle. I'm a smallish female so I like to just take my time but I'm also not nursing it and taking an hour, I probably drank it within 15 minutes?. Anyway, when the server came back and asked if that was all, I said I'll get one more drink, and he almost sighed and said okay... And I was like Uhh is this okay?? Am I taking up a table for more people? I'm at a small table big enough for only 2 people. Then when he dropped the drink off, I was very nice and said "thank you so much" and he just turned and walked the other way without saying a word.
Granted I think he's a bit overwhelmed, but am I wrong for being on a patio by myself? My bill isn't going to be huge, since I'm one person having only 2 drinks. Are they mad about that?

If any of this is breaking rule 7, I apologize. If this is also too long, I apologize.
Growing up on the spectrum, social norms were not something that came easily to me. My emotions came and went in extremes, and it became easy to obsess on things. Being autistic was never an excuse for how horrid I was. I always felt second place to my older sister who out-shined me in every way, so it led me to treating my mother and step-father poorly. They did often blame me for things I never did, and it didn't help, but didn't excuse how I reacted. Looking back, they were trying so hard for me, but I was an ungrateful little prick. Just about every major blow-up in our house stemmed from me. I never even tried to be better. Even if I never would excel in academics, I could have strived to be a good son at the very least. I never wanted to clean up after myself, and groaned at the idea of having to learn to do my own laundry. All I cared about was sitting in my room playing video games. I never willingly helped to clean up the house or help them unless it would benefit me. The value of money was greatly distorted to me, and I'd think 10 minutes of doing the dishes would equal out to earning $20 from my parents who were already barely middle class raising 2 kids. I'd feel stolen from if I wouldn't get what I wanted and I constantly felt like I was being wronged. I had to make myself the victim in every way and refused to accept responsibility for anything. My friends at school straight up thought my parents were abusive for years because of how I would talk about them. One Christmas, my Mom saved up money she probably didn't have to get me a new laptop after mine had broken. When I saw that it was a budget laptop that "couldn't play the games I wanted it to", I threw a massive fit and told her I didn't want it. She told me she was going to just return it and since I was still out a computer, this wasn't good enough for me. Again, I was apparently a victim of abuse having my "hard earned Christmas" torn away from me by a greedy and hateful mother. I tried to run away from home. The laptop did everything I needed it to, but it looked "basic" and I didn't want my class-mates thinking I was poor, when in my city, most kids were.
I had this weird irrational fear of other people thinking I was poor and to this day I have no idea where it came from. Mom packs me a hand-made lunch rather than giving me an expensive Lunchable? I'd throw the entire thing out and not eat because I thought it would somehow make me look less poor. It was so bad that when I'd order a meal from McDonald's, I'd specify I wanted each item rung in individually and didn't want a meal deal. To me, meal deals were for "poor people who couldn't afford to get the items individually", even though all it did was make me look stupid and bad with money. Even when I finally got a job, I was bad with money. If I got an item on sale, I felt like crap because "sales are for poor people". If I had money, I'd spend it all down to the last penny, meaning I'd often have to beg my barely middle class mother for money. I'd spend hundreds of dollars on anime box sets and video games, but would leave myself no money for food. They never bothered to teach me financial literacy, but even if I they did, I already know I wouldn't have listened. I was only able to pay off all my bad debts and become good with finances a mere few years ago by realizing how badly I needed to change that before moving out of my parents house at the age of 27.
Going back to graduation, things really started to become bad. After my first love cheated on me after high school (together for nearly 3 years, met near the end of graduation) and proceeded to toy with my heart for half a year, something in me completely snapped. Considering what a loser and AH I was to my family, I can't say I blame her for losing attraction. I got revenge by publicly branding her as the worst kind of harlot imaginable and wanted to do everything I could to ruin her image. I had been cheated on, so I "knew how it felt" and would "never cheat". I became self righteous in this mindset, which is incredibly ironic considering how I went on to become. Becoming easily obsessed with things meant that when addiction took hold, it was incredibly difficult to break. I had met an absolutely amazing woman a couple years later and she treated me like gold. Literal wife material. Incredibly attractive. So what did I do? The first time a woman who wasn't her tried to flirt with me and get in my pants, I cheated on her. Apparently at this point in my life, I had become quite "attractive", because an odd amount of women started to come to me. Even ones who knew I was in a relationship already. I didn't turn a single one of them down. I even started to seek other women out on my own. I became hooked on the validation and let it control my life. I had no care for the safety of myself or my actual girlfriend who had no idea of all the women I was having sex with. All unprotected mind you. Eventually she found out and got mad at me for the years of betrayal and lying I had done, and even when I was clearly caught in the wrong, I didn't own up to being in the wrong. I didn't even try to apologize. I tried to gaslight her into making her think it was all her fault. Thankfully it didn't work and she knew that she was wronged.
I had become a textbook narcissist. I checked off just about every box. I was obsessed with my looks and put myself above anyone else.
I "didn't need her" though, with all the women coming my way. I let sex completely take over my mind and my life. There wasn't a single moment I wasn't thinking about it. I'd take expensive cabs at 2AM or later just to go hook up with someone I'd only been talking to for an hour or less. Older women went for me a lot, and I'd be in my early 20s having women in their late 40s or 50's sleeping with me. I'd bail on plans with friends, family, and would even show up late for work because I'd be too busy hooking up with anyone willing. As horrible as I was, consent was always the most important factor for me and I made sure no one was ever pressured or felt pursued if they weren't interested. This means I just hooked up with people who were easy like I was, and there was a lot of them. Several a week and sometimes multiple a day. I had met another absolutely amazing woman who was wife material and dated her for a bit over 2 years, and I absolutely cheated on her for the majority of the relationship. I shattered her heart, and she has every right under the sun to hate my guts. After several years of this behavior, I finally realized and admitted to myself that I had an addiction. None of this made me happy. In fact, I was absolutely miserable. It put an even larger wedge between my family and I, and my friends were incredibly disappointed in me. The worst that ever happened to me were two instances where I was raped by someone I had long stopped consenting with. First held a knife to me and the second beat me until I stopped saying no. I'm sure for all the damage I'd done, I deserved it. I only ever got the clap a handful of times (stopped having sex until it was cleared each time). I surprisingly ended up not getting anyone pregnant (in a city full of single mothers who chase for child support, I would know if I did). By the end of it, I'd had sex with somewhere between 150-200 different women. I stopped remembering names, faces, and mentally blocked a lot of it out. All I had was a number tally, which became less clear as more were added. I had to stop. Cold turkey.
I was beyond disgusted with myself, as I should have been. From that point on, my relationship with sex was incredibly rocky. I could no longer perform as I once did and ended up with erectile disfunction. I had finally come out of the closet as bisexual as well, because despite being a sex addict, I never let it extend to men, even though I was attracted to them. Men never pursued me either, so I never had that temptation. I wasn't completely put off of sex, and still had it when I did manage to date, but it no longer dictated how I lived my life and spent my days. Instead of sex, I let myself fall into another extreme. When people became so divided over world events, I let myself fall into the worst side of things and became a horribly bigoted and xenophobic person. I had mental mental gymnastics to justify my beliefs and met other people who shared them. I was a "free thinker" with no original views and all I did was further hurt and disappoint old friends I had. I'd post, comment, and share tons of hateful garbage to social media. People had every right to be offended. Lord knows the life I'd led prior gave me absolutely no room to judge anyone else, but I did.
I had tried to end my life on multiple occasions, but am glad I didn't.

This way of thinking was something I was able to free myself of 7 months ago. What sparked the change? This final change? I have no idea. I was sitting in front of my computer watching hateful content to further cement and validate my beliefs, and I just felt sick. I thought to myself "What the **** have I been doing with my life? What is all of this?" At that exact moment, I started to remove every negative presence I'd put out to the world. I had deleted every single comment, share, post, like, etc that I'd ever put on social media across all platforms. This actually took me around 2 weeks of clicking to accomplish. Until my activity logs on all socials were completely empty. My entire YouTube history was now cleared and my algorithm had been reset. I turned off anything and everything relating to the news or world events because all those topics did was make me unhappy. Then I announced on FB and Instagram the revelation I'd come to. An entire life of self awareness hitting me at once. I didn't sugarcoat anything to make myself look better. I was not a victim. I was no longer trying to hide who I was. I made a blanket apology to everyone who cared about me who I'd hurt and disappointed, making it known I'd make individual ones later. I added anyone who wanted to keep in contact on my hiatus to Discord, and then deleted those FB and Insta accounts entirely. I unplugged from the world of social media for 2 months. You'd think I'd need more time, but I didn't. I guess the one perk of being autistic was being able to focus heavily on one specific thing. I was able to do a life's worth of thinking and personal change during this time. When I came back, I reached out to everyone I could think of that I'd wronged or not presented my best self to, apart from a few people I knew that I had no right to ever present myself to. People who are far better in their lives not thinking about my existence. I apologized and let it be known that I was not asking for or expecting forgiveness, as I have no right to it. I let them know what I was doing to be better in my life and wished them well. To my surprise, it was an overwhelmingly positive response. People actually forgave me and were happy to see me doing better. I can never truly make up for how I had spent my life before, but all I can do is spend each day being someone people can be glad to know.
I wasn't "finally getting back to being me". There was no previous version of "me" that I ever wanted to return to. For the first time in my life since birth, I was blank slate. I held no hatred or contempt for anything or anyone, besides myself. I accepted any and all blame, and didn't try to justify anything with excuses or justifications. I was able to dictate the reasons and pinpoint where I'd gone wrong in my life and fully understand why things happened as they did. Importantly, I finally started going to therapy and seeking help. Not because I fear I'll ever return back to my old self, but because I know I permanently damaged my mind and am plagued with regret.
I'm finally letting myself return to old hobbies that brought me joy, but no longer need validation to enjoy them. I'm finally playing my massive backlog of video games, hanging out with friends uninterrupted, watching movies, re-discovering my love of photography and art. I am also going to start painting, even though all I use to do was draw.
I feel that if I can become better, I hope it gives hope to others to try to be as well.
**TLDR**: There isn't really a TLDR for such a thing. If you don't want to read it, I fully understand.

My fiancée and I (located in SW Ontario) are interested in setting up a video guestbook for our wedding. We were looking into SpeechBooth (https://www.speechbooth.com/product/speechbooth-wedding-package), which ships form the States, but their website isn't working to submit orders and they aren't replying to emails so I'm a little sketched out.
​
Has anyone used a similar service where the equipment and editing are provided that they can recommend? Alternatively we may have to look at DIY setups (ipad with light and mic), so open to any suggestions for that as well.
​
Thanks!

Hi everyone! My name is Frankie and im sending this post here in the hopes of making some friends or maybe something more!
Here's a little about me and my interests:

• Music: I am a huge music nerd. I listen to a lot of genres and have a lot of favorite artists, namely (and not by order of preference): Royal Blood, The 1975, Maneskin, Starset, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Brent Faiyaz... will edit this post if I remember more.
  
• Vintage Cars and other vintage stuff: I love cars, but especially vintage ones. I have one which I restored over the course of 4 years. I also love old stuff like Vintage clothes and others like vinyls and radios and so on.
  
• Video Games & PC Nerd: I play a lot of video games... huge variety in genres. I can play anything from Dead By Daylight to Minecraft. Besides this, I love to build PCs and other custom PC components and have been doing it for quite some time. Recently I've started coding since I just joined a Computer Engineering course.
  
• Location: I'm from Portugal, therefore my timezone is BST (British Standard Time)
  
• Physical Appearance (if that matters to you): 5'9, fluffy long curly hair, hazel eyes, wears glasses and is just a little chubby.
  
• Other Stuff: Don't remember any rn...
  

About you:

• You share at least one of the same interests as me
• Probably a little better at communicating then me (I promise I am a good talker as soon as we get along)
• If you are messaging me with interest on a relationship, looks don't matter much to me as long as you're not a 0/10 then I will love you unconditionally!
• Location: anywhere!

Uhm.. That is it for now. Hit me up!

Part One here: https://www.reddit.com/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/13vyhg8/the_story_of_a_little_star_and_the_man_from/
Part Two here: https://www.reddit.com/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/13x1kx6/the_story_of_a_little_star_and_the_man_from/
She turned round with a beaming but nervous smile, he caught his breath. The station and the entire city melted from view. This was not the ‘fat old abuela with only 3 hairs’ she had been telling him to look out for. She had clearly reverse catfished him. He stood there dumbfounded for a second and could but gaze at her. She was truly as beautiful outside as she was inside. No catfish, no fat fish. His hopes were realised, his fears allayed.
Almost without a spoken word, they hugged. One continuous hug that seemed to last a lifetime and ‘oh that it would’, he thought to himself. Eventually the hug broke and they caught a cab to the hotel.
They had brought each other some gifts: She had crocheted him a beautiful blue rose and pink heart and presented him with £66 as ppm with a personal note [in joke in reference to an old SLF post] and a book. He in turn presented a cute stuffed koala and baby, a pair of woollen calf length socks with grips, 10 bars of her favourite chocolate [you couldn’t order less, its rare], a special bottle of wine [also rare] and wait for it; A yellow plastic duck for the bath. Nothing extravagant in their own right but each gift had special meaning to them. The plastic duck was her favourite as no other had bought her one before, it was a first. They laughed.
Over the next 3 days they wined, dined, walked, talked and were intimate, a lot. He was in heaven; she can speak for herself on that point .
At one point the General Manager referred to needing to bring something to their suite but had not wanted to disturb. The in-joke was not lost on them, they both found it hilarious. The housekeeping staff seemed to always know at what random time of day to attend to the room when they eventually left. They were never disturbed even when forgetting to hang out the little DND sign on the door.
Without any phone call, facetime, platonic M&G, flight and trains to a remote location to meet for 3 nights in a hotel as a first meet, here they were having fallen on their feet with each other. He was already falling hard for her and she him. She would later tell him ‘I loved you before I saw you’. That was big for him and from her. This was not a comment from an inexperienced youngster.
So M&G over, where are they now?
He is arranging to fly her to him in the next week where they can talk through a plan for her to move to him permanently. In spite of big obstacles with family, business commitments and personal relationships that will prove a hurdle for acceptance and approval and not least immigration rules, they are both committed to make a go of it and see where it leads.
With a little luck, this SLF couple will live happily ever after.
Thanks to everyone who gave me support during this mini-series.
To all the downvoters [and there have been many], that’s ok, this wasn’t written for you. This is written entirely for her and only for her.
If anyone else in SLF has enjoyed reading our small SLF success story, that is the icing on the cake and I am happy about that. I am not a writer [as is obvious], it was my best attempt to tell the story and make it vaguely readable.
So then, has anyone guessed her identity? 😊
Yes, the clue is in the title of the post but not too clear as to make it too obvious and a comment by her a few days previously to Part One on another post sort of announced our meeting in advance without naming me.

Hello, let me clarify on the title a little bit. I am running a player shop in this one video game that I play, and I am looking for a Discord bot where I can create and log player orders instead of having to go back and forth on a spreadsheet. Namely, I am looking for a discord bot that has some kind of "submit order" functionality, while being able to track and update the status of a playeuser's order. Are there any bots out there like this?