Hi all, I've had Vitligo since I was 6 years old. I'm going to condense some wisdom down into an easy to read post so you can just get on with your life. I've spent most of my life researching vitiligo because mine was really noticeable, and I've functionally conquered at times in my life only to have it re-emerge and have to find some other way to handle it. I believe I've now come to the ultimate knowledge and can help others. And I put the knowledge out free because no doctor should be able to make a living charging people in a compromised position to not even fully heal most of them.
This is going to be a post with a lot of Truth in it. If you can't handle it, please keep scrolling. The Truth is of immense value to people because it will help them deal with the real situation and not a fuzzy, make believe world that they don't actually belong to, and then can't understand when things just aren't working out.
1) Vitiligo puts you in a compromised position in a lot of cases because it reduces your value in society. It is considered a flaw and therefore you will have a hard time in dating and sometimes jobs, friendships etc depending on what the vitiligo looks like and it's severity. Some people get lucky but for the most part, people with vitiligo get shunned because people have the instinct to not be around those that show signs of a disease. Although vitiligo isn't a contagious disease, it looks like one. In addition, the shapes it makes on the skin can be scary such as looking like a "skull face" on top of a real face, etc so kids can start crying etc if they see someone who looks like that, no matter how nice they are. It's a real mindfuck for the person who has it. It goes without saying that it's a barrier to dating as well.
2) Doctors are making a ton of money researching vitiligo but notice how they don't just simply put an end to the vitiligo. Why would they when their whole career is based off of it? If people just got rid of it and got on with their lives, that income source would end. So you go to the doctor and are mindfucked AGAIN when you are filled with hope that a treatment might work, and it never, never does. I've tried PUVA, topical steroids (a disaster, they made me get spider veins on my ankles worsening my situation), Eximer laser (did fill in one of the areas but then created dark spots as well), and a melanocyte transplant that failed and also created a new spot on my outer thigh from the "doner" area. Looking to Doctors to provide relief has been a fail. The new JAK inhibitors, "Ruxolitnib" has a ton of warnings on the package, such as "don't use if you've ever lived near the Ohio River because parasites that are infesting your body can overwhelm your immune system" - whaaaat? Ok Skippy. I've long ago learned not to use "new cures" that come out every decade or so.
3) there is ample evidence of what is actually going on but it's not in doctors best interest to connect the dots. But I have. I went through a period of sickness that required me to take 6 years off just working on my health. During that period, I pretty much figured it out. So read on.
4) 23andMe is now widely available. In 2016 I ordered mine and spit in a cup, mailed it off and got my printout of my genes. I uploaded the raw data to Prometheaus and found out that I have a Vitamin D Receptor Mutation or VDR mutation, mine is called VDR-TAQ. I didn't understand that AT FIRST. But I kept researching. Turns out that people with VDR-TAQ only make a little bit of Vitamin D from the Sun when they are out there, compared to normal people. They operate on low D for their whole lives. Vitamin D controls the skin's pigmentation as well as many other body processes like hair, nails, bones, teeth etc. Long ago, we used to spend from sunrise to sunset outside gaining vitamin D. Then we would have enough to last us through the Winter when there is no D available in the sunlight. But we are all inside now, making anyone with low D much worse. If D gets too low for a long enough time, it will affect some people's skin pigmentation, especially if they are under stress, using up nutrients at a high rate. I came from an abusive family of alcoholics and was under a lot of stress, so my Vitligo appeared very early, at age 6. It wasn't understood so I continued to suffer low D until I figured it out at 40+. My D had consistently been low whenever measured but I wasn't told how to bring it up and why I should.
5) Bringing up your Vitamin D level isn't easy or simple. D requires cofactors in order to raise the level if you're using pills. You have to take it with magnesium and B complex or else it won't absorb. Further complicating things is that all magnesiums are not equal, you have to take a "good one", not magnesium oxide which is a cheap version that can actually harm your body instead of helping. So I took mine with magnesium bisglycinate. Also I become sick from commercial versions of the B vitamins and have to order special "activated" B so I could even take a B complex. I use the Quicksilver activated B complex liquid and it's about $50 with shipping. Was it hard to figure these things out? Yes it was. But I wanted to get better, so I did it. At the end of the day, I spent 2 summers sunning 3 times a week in a private back yard, AND supplemented with D and it's cofactors especially in winter, and my level did go up but not all the way, so I ended up buying a Sperti vitamin D light that cost me about $400. This is not PUVA which for most people does not work. This is just a regular Vitamin D light that gives off UVB rays like the sun's. Using this light, I began to have productive winters where I didn't have Seasonal Affective Disorder and see real progress on my Vitiligo. I also use a cream directly on the spots that contains vitamin D and A called Infadolan that I order online, it's about $20 for 3 tubes.
6) Since I began raising my vitamin D level with supplementation, sunning and a SPERTI UVB sunlamp, my vitilgo has slowly gone away. But there are some areas that refuse to budge. My lower abdomen is one of them. I feel that this is because there is no dark hair on the area, and it's also the largest. It also gets the least sun. Areas that have hair repigment much easier that those that don't (the pigment cells live in the hair follicles) - also areas that get sun every single day like the face. It's well known that most people find the face much easier to repigment than other areas of the body. I feel that this is because the melanocytes there get stimulation with sunlight almost every day.
7) I've read that some people get vitligo in response to chemicals found in rubber - my most persistent spots are where I used to wear rubber next to my skin growing up such as the elastic in sandals or girl's underwear. I also used to wear a latex mini skirt in my teens and early 20s, and ended up with a band of depigmentation where the skirt rested against my lower abdomen. These are very stubborn areas to treat. My advice would be if someone has vitligo, stay away from rubber, latex etc. resting against their skin. It's not necessary. Also stay away from skin bleaching agents - I got more spots from using a skin lightening cream that I got from a beauty store to take care of dark areas that had developed in intimate areas. Don't use those creams.
8) to make it through life, I've had to use camoflages for my vitiligo. I have worked as a performer and needed to appear "normal". Often, people with vitiligo are beautiful and vibrant people who have amazing gifts. Ive found to my surprise that they are often in the entertainment industry (Michael Jackson, etc). What has worked in my particular case, is using non toxic spray tans and mousses - so far I've found that Sephora Sun and Loving Tan are 2 of the least toxic. Use the Yuka app to determine the toxicity of a product. Don't use really toxic stuff as body makeup, it can affect your health. In a small glass cup, I mix the 2 mousses together into a shade that approximates my skin tone, and let it melt in to a liquid in front of a fan or heater. I use a Q tip dipped in this liquid to coat the spot initially, then use a wet washcloth to blend the edges so that there isn't such a sharp contrast between the areas. After adding that layer, I then load the rest of the liquid into a small rechargable spray gun that you can find on Amazon for about $100. I spray the areas with the spray tan artfully and enhance my abs, bustline etc while I am at it and end up with a pretty good look that can fool most people. This coating lasts for a day or 2. It takes about 30-45 minutes to re-coat myself. I usually give myself a day or 2 rest between applications. But sometimes I have to do it back to back.
8) I'm still only 3 years into using the Sun and a UVB light as a treatment for vitiligo. I've seen great progress, but the most stubborn areas aren't gone. I did, however get rid of most of the areas. When I think about how miserable I was with the amount of vitiligo I had, I want to cry. I got it to where people don't stare at me in the street, on my own - and that is very exemplary. Areas that have almost no vitligo now - face, arms, hands, chest, upper stomach, shins, thighs, lower back. Areas i still have it - ankles, foot tops, underarms, private area, lower abdomen. There is a process called MicroArt that can tattoo over those areas. It's a form of permanent makeup. At the end of the day, I want it all gone and don't want to have to deal with it at all, so I may end up getting MicroArt over the areas that are remaining so I can stop with the spray tan and just be normal. The MicroArt isn't a 100% solution because it's a permanent makeup and can't change color with tanning like your normal pigment can, but I bet it could be a 90% solution, and that might have to be the best result for me in a timely manner. You could get a professional spray tan over the Microart in the summer so it would all match, or do it yourself. I don't want to have to pursue a cure for the rest of my life. Had my parents been aware that this was a low D gene and a low nutrition problem, maybe I could have been saved in childhood and never had to go through dating and all the rest with vitligo. But unfortunately, I was the one who had to put the time/effort into finding these things out as an adult and that took precious time. MicroArt is expensive just so you know. Maybe you can find a camoflage tattoo artist who could do a servicable/acceptable job who isn't Microart and who wouldn't charge as much - more and more are popping up across the country.
9) a noteworthy site is this woman, The Vit Pro, who figured some of these things out on her own, and had a lot of success in regaining her pigment. Again, it's someone who simply took the time to figure it out on her own. I think you will find more help from individuals like me and her than from the doctors, sadly. I have seen A FEW success stories where someone was healed by a doctor, but not many. And did they stay that way? This is her site - thevitpro dot com. Good luck!

New Eye Surgery Holds Promise for Correcting Nearsightedness
The SMILE eye procedure is similar to LASIK in being less invasive, says one doctor.

SMILE procedure.Carl Zeiss Meditec, Inc., 2016 / Carl Zeiss Meditec, Inc., 2016
June 1, 2017, 3:17 AM +0430 / Updated June 1, 2017, 3:17 AM +0430
By Parminder Deo and Jacqueline Paulis, M.D.
Cleveland resident Tina Noel struggled with glasses and contacts for most of her life. The 44-year-old has been living a blurry and cloudy life as her aging eyes have progressively become drier due to an autoimmune condition.
“I’m very limited to what I can wear anymore,” says Noel. “I can't wear my contacts anymore because my eyes are just progressively getting drier. I feel my eyes get so tired, I can be driving and my eyes just want to shut when I'm wearing my glasses.”

Lasik Alternative Approved by the FDA
The Food and Drug Administration in September approved a new laser eye procedure known as Small Incision Lenticule Extraction, or SMILE. Noel's doctor recommended giving it a try.
The procedure employs a laser, similar to the one used in LASIK, to remove a small piece of the cornea to reshape the eye. Many people with corneal changes that excluded them from LASIK could now be eligible for this new surgical option.
Noel's ophthalmologist, Dr. Ronald Krueger of the Cleveland Clinic, said the SMILE procedure is all about being minimally invasive.
“I often say that SMILE is like a laparoscopic LASIK because it’s making a smaller incision,” Krueger told NBC News.
The new laser procedure is designed to treat nearsightedness in patients aged 22 and older. The price tag is roughly $5,000 and is not covered by insurance.
Dr. Ilyse Haberman, assistant professor in the Department of Ophthalmology at NYU Langone Medical Center, says that, outside of the U.S., SMILE can correct astigmatism and is being further developed to fix farsightedness. But for patients in the U.S., only very specific candidates can get the SMILE procedur

My girlfriend and I had unprotected sex last night.
I’m really scared of her getting pregnant or something, because none of us are economically stable to have child, especially at this time.
She’s been on Visanne 2mg for approximately 2 months now, and haven’t had menses in that time.
2 hours after we had sex, she took an EllaOne emergency contraception pill, with a glass of water.
I don’t know how much more information doctors would need.
Age:18 Female 165cm 60-65kg Only medication: Visanne 2mg every day No diseases (medications is for heavy bleeding, doesn’t have endometriosis)

Xan is the world's most dangerous criminal mastermind. He’s also in hiding and completely broke. That’s fine. He’s between master plans. It’s normal to be at rock bottom between master plans. He also forgets stuff and may be trapped in a dream.
Because at night, Xan thinks he’s an old lady, trapped in a dingy apartment, by an angry fellow who wants to kill her. Not her idea of a good time, but she’s keeping an open mind. It is excitingly visceral. Could turn out awesome.
Safe is a sci-fi, progression, comedy. Guaranteed to cause more mental problems than it solves.

First Next
Dark City - Stolen Apartment
I wake up. Feel awful. Soo stiff. Struggle to my feet. Weak as fuck, heart hammering. Jesus Christ, what an ordeal. Still in the dingy stolen apartment, almost identical to my own. Right down to the psycho yelling about murder in the hallway.
“Is this supposed to be fun? I’m worried about whoever designed this game.”
Hi Xan! chirps Volt. This isn’t a game. You’re in real danger.
“Crap, again? Well, at least this time I have a gun. Or… shit. I dreamed that. Dang it.”
Yeah, we maybe should have hid somewhere farther away. Feeling up to a run?
“Gaah. No.” I flick a cyber-roach of Volt. Pick her up. “Am I going deaf, or is that psycho quieter?”
He’s a floor down. Been haunting the building for hours, bashing at random doors.
“Really? That could be good. Maybe he’s not after us specifically? Just a wandering monster.” I pause. “Wait, he’s been here for hours? Why didn’t you wake me?”
He’s been mostly crashing into other doors. I thought you needed rest. I was afraid you’d die without it.
All I’ve done is stand up, and my heart is hammering. “Fair enough. What’s the plan now?”
Let’s fucking go.
I splash water on my face. Get equipped. Nighty, sneakers, fall jacket, ancient smartphone, and moderately sharp spoon. Look out world, here comes Xan.
We shuffle into the hall. Our door’s been stabbed a few times. So have the other doors. Dang.
Psycho’s a floor down. Stairs or elevator? Stairs are stealthier, but in my condition, a slip and fall is probably more dangerous than getting stabbed. Fuck it. I call an elevator. Press a few random buttons, including the floor below. Let it go on its own. Call another elevator. Ride this one down, ready to spoon shank anyone who gets in.
We arrive in the lobby without incident. Did the psycho get in the first elevator? Did he miss both? Whatever. The first elevator continues its slow trip down. I’m not waiting to see if he’s on it. We ghost out to the street. Still dark as fuck.
What’s the plan? asks Volt.
I glance at the drones streaming overhead. “We need to get you a better body. Something that can fight. If we can’t find that, we should at least get a gun. Or a sharper spoon. Some kind of weaponry upgrade.”
We also need a doctor. ‘Cause you’re gonna die. A doctor, or drugs, or something.
“Yes, let’s do drugs.”
Like, good, healthy drugs.
“Bitchin’. I’m in. Where do we find that stuff?”
No idea. says Volt. I deleted my map application.
Right. Fuck it. This street only goes in two directions. I hobble down one of them. There’s bound to be a late night gun store health clinic close by. Or at least a better place to hide.
As we shuffle along, I peruse the angry, crowded, lightly phosphorescent, graffiti that coats the city. The big lines mostly repeat the same four messages:
- DONT CALL THE COPS!!
- DONT RUN THE DOGS WILL SHOOT!!
- FUCK YOU TRUSTIE!!
- DIE RIDER!!!
Or some variation on those themes.
The smallest graffitis are also the most common:
<sup>- GO BACK TO SLEEP.
- THEY WANT YOU TO SLEEP.</sup>
Those wee slogans are everywhere. Someone went mental with glowy little stamps.
Around and amongst these staple comments there’s a huge argument about, well, everything. An epic word cloud of call-outs, outrage, and angry off-topic retorts. It’s a mobius loop of bitter rage on par with the comment section of a major movie reboot.
It may be wrong to call it an argument, because that implies some kind coherent interaction. Like they read and understood their opponent's comment. This is more a series of disjointed attacks triggered by what wasn’t said. Rage at details filled in by imagination. It’s hard to read. Emotionally, but also the writing is very sloppy. I may need bifocals.
Can I even get a drone body? asks Volt. I’ve only ever been in a phone.
“Sure.” I wave at the sky above us. “There’s tons of drones here. Somebody’s flying them.”
Right. Right. Are you sure those aren’t birds? Point to all the birds you see.
I peer around, eventually spot a small crow. Point at it. “There’s one.”
The young bird peers back at me. “Clope?”
“Umm…” I pat my pockets. Shrug. ”Désolé.”
“Bah.” It flies away.
We watch it go. “Anyway, that’s a bird. Probably. Did that help?”
Eh, kinda. says Volt. I may need more help with the bird versus drone thing.
“No problem. That’s what I do.”
We make it to the corner, and what luck - there’s a corner store! Hopefully they sell military grade armaments. I remember that’s common in some states. The store is dark, like every other building, but the door opens when I approach, so we go in.
“Hello.” says a chunky plastic d-bot. Human-ish torso, happy face, castors instead of feet. Slow, weak, definitely an indoor model. “How can I help you?”
“Medicine!” chirps my ancient cellphone, before I can respond.
“Take a look in Aisle Two.” says Clerk-Bot. “Anything else?”
Volt is vibrating, so I shrug and shuffle down Aisle Two. I’m sure I can find the attack drones on my own. There’s only two aisles.
Using Volt’s screen for a little light, we find a rack of pills, potions, and lotions.
“What am I looking for?”
I dunno. The ants said your most immediate dangers were cancer, heart disease, hypertension, osteoporosis, and falls from general frailty. Start with pills that fix that stuff.
“Jesus, I have five diseases?”
Hmm… you have a few more than that. Let’s just worry about those five for now. I don’t want to add depression to the list.
“I’m just gonna look for a pill that fixes everything.”
That’s probably best.
I rifle through the medications, but I can’t make much sense of them. They have exciting names - Super Strong. No Bleed. Skeleflex. Immortalis. No Thought. Marrow. Immune A, B or C. Regen A and B. - but I don’t really know what they do. Between Volt’s crappy old light, and my crappy old eyes, I can’t read the finer print.
That said, Super Strong sounds like the stuff. It would solve a few of my problems. I just wish I could read the directions. How strong do I get? How long till it works? I need to be strong tonight, not eight months from now.
I find a box labeled Nightsight. Promising. Inside is an eyedropper. Well, this seems obvious. I spray most of it on my face like a dumbass, but manage to get a few drops in each eye. Within seconds everything around me blossoms into color, then sharpens to crystal clarity.
“Oh yea! Update my status sheet, I got darkvision.”
Cool. What’s your range?
I look around. “Well, the whole store, at least.”
The store has racks of pyjamas and slippers. Lots of big colorful bags of “CRUNCH” that boast an assortment of flavors from chocolate to jalapeno. Booze, pot, and soap. Displays of cell phones that look older than me. A selection of quadcopter drones. Couriers mostly. Maybe some eyes. No battle drones. Not even a hunter. Disappointing.
I look back to the medications. The directions for Super Strong are short and to the point.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
“Huh.”
I don’t like that ‘huh’. says Volt. Why did you ‘huh’?
I check a few of the other impressive sounding drugs.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
“Well, apparently these drugs are a teensy bit dangerous.”
How dangerous?
“Improper use will cause death.”
Put them down. Let’s find a doctor.
“I want to use Super Strong to beat the shit out of a murderer. Surely that’s the proper use?”
Nope. Put it down. Let’s go.
“Let’s at least ask the clerk-bot.” I grab an armload of the coolest sounding drugs. Trundle to the cash. Snag a quadcopter on the way by. It’s about the size of a football, and claims to be a holodrone. Cool. I pick up a bag of potato bacon crunch as well. Boasts zero nutritional value. Perfect.
“Hi.” I dump my load on the cash. “We’ll take this.”
“Also, how dangerous is Super Strong?” asks Volt.
“Super dangerous. That shit will kill you. Also, it has a tendency to float out of the store.” Clerk-bot rings up our purchase. “That will be 16.2 kilo-bucks. How would you like to pay?”
“I don’t know. Dang. How do I transfer my crypto from the other world?”
You don’t, because the other world isn’t real.
“Right. Shit. How do people usually pay?”
“The only way to pay is by charging the purchase to your citizen ID.” says Clerk-bot.
“Then why did you ask how we’d like to pay?”
“I’ve been asked that question a lot, but I don’t know the answer.” Clerk-bot admits. “I haven’t been updated since ‘84. Could you please update me?”
I casually glance around the store. There’s a barred gate hanging over the door. An anti shoplifting portcullis. The windows are also subtly barred. I’m guessing I won’t be able to dash out with these products. I turn back to the confused d-bot. “Sure, let’s try an update. See what’s under the hood.”
We pull up Clerk-bot’s bad call log - a list of decisions made with low confidence. Or that preceded known bad outcomes. Like missing products. Or distress cues from nearby humans.
Wow, that’s a long list.
D-bots work best with human supervision. A self-driving car may obey every stop sign, until one is held by a crossing guard. They drive that guy over. Why? It’s impossible to say. The d-bot’s code is a self generated equation with billions of variables. There’s no way to know which variables correlate with stop signs, or how to change them so they won’t charge a crossing guard. Or ram any weird thing left out of their training data. Fuck you unicycle guy. Die marching band. Seriously, It’s best to have a human on the brake.
That said, sometimes you don’t want a human in the loop. They can be too slow. An automatic sentry has to target clouds of high speed hunter drones. Everybody would be dead before a human cleared the shots. But you also don’t want the sentry glitching and shooting your own aircraft. There’s a low tolerance for automated friendly fire.
So you build an expert system - a much smaller, human written code that overrides specific glitches. For a sentry, this could be as simple as giving transponders to friendly aircraft and not allowing shots near a transponder for any reason. Obviously, this is a bad solution - it’s standard practice to use opposition forces as cover in hunter drone attacks - but that doesn't matter because sentries are for casuals. If they find you sleeping, you’re already dead.
I yawn. Frown. Gotta stop dicking around with this bot and find a better place to sleep.
Anyway, expert systems are also handy with glitchy d-bots you’re too poor to retrain. Hence my continual conversation with Volt.
If the Clerk-bot had a couple repetitious problems, I could probably sort it out. But this bad call log is byzantine. A prayer wheel to some chthonic god of anxious delirium. It’s messy. This guy really hasn’t been updated since ‘84. Whenever that was.
“You should be erased and retrained.”
“Great.” Clerk-bot nods. “I’m ready.”
“Yeah, I don’t have training data for a store clerk.” I also don’t have time for this. “I guess we have your call log. That could be training data. Messy and raw, but data. I can patch Volt in to do some unsupervised learning. He’ll make you an expert system. Not ideal, but the best I can do.”
“I’ll take it.” says Clerk-bot.
Shit. That’s a terrible idea. I shouldn’t be doing unsupervised learning. Also, I’m still doing unsupervised learning for threat detection.
“Really? I thought that was a dream thing? You said the dream game couldn’t affect real life.”
I’m dream game software! Of course the dream affects me!
“Okay. So can you download crypto there, and upload it here?”
No. Because there is no crypto. You’re not rich in another world. There is no other world. You just had a dream where you were rich.
“Ugh. That’s so disappointing.”
Yeah, life is tough. Can I stop my unsupervised threat detection?
“No. Ummm… no. I still kinda have a plan for that.”
You’re overtraining me. I’ve probably already gone through catastrophic forgetting. You should delete me.
“You’re good for a while yet. Don’t worry so much.”
So, constantly look for threats, but don’t worry?
“Yeah.”
Okay. I’ll give it a go.
We patch up Clerk-bot and a few of his couriers. Head into the night without supplies. I’m not admitting I don’t know my Citizen ID. I doubt that would be helpful.
That was weird.
“What?”
That we left without anything. I know we can’t pay, but I thought you’d do something nefarious.
“I’m working up to it. Did you notice all the floating merchandise in his bad call log?”
Yes.
“Dude’s getting robbed on the regular. I suspect the visual triggers of his threat detector are undertrained.”
Hmm. I find that interesting on several levels. How would you exploit this weakness?
“Observe.”
I hobble over to a public garbage can. Remove the bag and shake out the trash. Put it over my head like I’m a Halloween garbage bag ghost. Huzzah. Poke through a single eyehole. Shuffle into the store. Clerk-bot doesn’t notice me at all. Grab my stuff off the cash, and sashay out the door.
Criminal. Mastermind.
A flood of light envelopes me. Dual angry suns, judging my sins. Or… headlights. Yes, fuck, that’s a big-ass truck driving towards me. Right. Haven’t seen one in a while.
It stops and illuminates the scene of the crime in aggressive phosphorescence. A hugely muscular man hops out, and I brace myself for authoritative action, but he awkwardly shuffles around me to get to the store. Weird. This isn’t the police. It’s some kind of large child. Wearing too much body spray and too many gold chains.
He sneers at me as he passes. “Pathetic. Go back to sleep.”
Well, fuck you too. I’m a garbage bag princess. I also sneer as he slinks into the store that’s now aggressively illuminated by his lighthouse of a truck.
“We’re already criminals, right?”
Yes. Unjustly and justly.
“Cool.”
I climb into the running truck. Peel away. Sweet. Now I’m fast. And super strong. Should I circle the block a few times? Maybe run over the psycho?
Meh. I don’t know what he looks like. I can’t be running over random people and hoping for the best. Sloppy. Also, the cops are probably after me again. Fuck this scene.
I kill the lights and drive hell for leather. Ditch my ride a few minutes later. I’m across town, at the intersection of huge skyscrapers and other huge skyscrapers. Try and find me here mother fuckers.
We pick a skyscraper at random and look for a new home. It’s festive. We munch on crunch and see how the other people live. Mostly sweaty sleep moaning in dingy apartments, but some are kinda classy. Fancy apartments, with sleep moaners in silk pyjamas. We resolve to move up in the world, ignoring empty dingy apartments until we find an empty classy one. It’s fun, until we open one with a funk.
There’s a dead woman on the bed. No sign of foul play. Probably died in her sleep.
She’s pretty dried out, but still looks younger than me.
“We’ll find a doctor tomorrow.”
Good.
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Next Chapter
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Eyedrops

• Biohackers develop night vision eye drops to see in the dark
• New FDA-approved eye drops could replace reading glasses for millions

Sentry-bot

• Tactical High Power Operational Responder (THOR) Drone Killer, USA

Unsupervised Learning

• What is unsupervised learning?
• Applications of unsupervised learning
• Challenges of unsupervised learning

((I've been NC with Nmom for coming up on a year. I'm sharing this story because I've really benefited from reading stories I can relate to. I love this community and the support you guys offer each other. I hope I can help validate some of your experiences as well.))
I have narcolepsy. It's rarely found in multiple generations of the same family. I fall asleep in every single class I take and dream so vividly I forget where I am. I went undiagnosed for years, and my falling asleep in class caused nearly every professor I had to resent me. I worked extremely hard outside of the classroom to keep up and managed to be a very good student. I also was TERRIFIED of punishment, so my goody-goody behavior kept me from ever being disciplined for falling asleep in class.
I finally got diagnosed after my junior year of college after a professor decided, at the last minute, to fail me for class participation so I'd have to retake his course. He sarcastically told me to see a doctor, which was actually great advice, and I came back the next year with a prescription, accomodations, and a letter instructing him to change my grade back or be faced with discrimination charges (he was a huge dick about all of it, different story.)
Narcolepsy is a seemingly random condition. There's not a strong case for it being passed down, only in rare cases is it suspected. One of the things known to cause it is infections within the brain. And I had a super crazy intracranial infection when I was a kid. I don't know exactly when my narcoleptic symptoms started, but it would be shocking if it wasn't directly related to this.
Nobody else in my family has every struggled with staying awake in the classroom. BUT, because my mom falls asleep in front of the television late at night after a full day of work and a glass of wine, she decided that she's narcoleptic too. Whatever, I shrug it off. But she starts telling me that the medication I'm taking is a crutch. She sits in on one of my appointments to "help her understand what I'm dealing with" but actually spends it trying to convince the doctor that I got it from her and "my lifestyle" is why I experience daytime symptoms and she doesn't.
She interprets the doctor's refusal to entertain her ignorance as him admitting all of her suggestions are possible. I'm gatekeeping her, but she won't do a sleep study to get diagnosed. I'm exaggerating my condition for sympathy, and she knows this because she has the same condition.
Anyway, has anybody else dealt with this? Disability deniers, condition appropriators, or general gaslighting around health factors?

[First]() [Prev]()
This took an unbearable amount of time, sorry, I was busy with tests and you know… school stuff, it's not looking good for my writing, I pretty much only have free time with my phone for only 2 hours a day except for weekends. As a compensation for the ridiculous amount of time this chapter took, it's going to be extra long, and have action parts again (kind of) and some gore, enjoy!
—-~----
"What was it again?"
"Schen- i mean Schon"
"Right, what got you here, near the edge and all? It's a nice edge, but still an edge"
"Desperate for work I guess, I assume you're the same?"
Schon… no, Schen… answered as he took a sip out of his drink, it isn't as bad as he thought it would be, it's sweet, and at least it isn't recycled water.
"Kind of, I just work here because… well… my skill set isn't impressive"
"A loader, no? All that work in the cargo bay?"
"Yeah, what does it feel like being an SC?"
"Being a security captain feels…"
Schen took a glance at his tag, hidden beneath his shirt and new uniform, a piece of memory and evidence of who he once was.
"...familiar"
"Oh yeah… aren't you an ex-mil?"
"I am"
"Why did you quit?"
"It's… it got a bit too mu it can ch for me, though i do miss my team, best few people i've ever worked with"
"Good terms?"
"Brothers, live by them, die by them, not literal on the latter of course, but it can happen, too bad we're disbanded now"
"Why?"
"Let's just say they don't wanna work without their favorite captain"
"Oh… Where are they now?"
"Living their best life with their family i hope, least there's nothing to threaten their lives there"
"Why don't you go back to yours?"
"Don't have one, too old to return back home and do nothing, and too old to find a mate, kinda missed my chance back then"
"And you're satisfied with just being an SC in a random cargo ship that visits edge territories?"
"It's still something, besides, i've got more than enough experience for it… hmm… lunch's over, good talk"
"Looks like it is, nice to know you… Schon?"
He nodded in confirmation, and went to pay for his lunch. It was decent, but he'd rather have it stale than having to actually pay, he can't believe he actually missed those stale rations. Perhaps because he was used to it, old habits and preferences are hard to shake off, they said. He went back to his post, just a little room filled with camera monitors with a teeny tiny armory next to it. Genuinely, it looked pathetic next to the military armory he was used to.
But the weapons were familiar, kind of, just lacking the usual stopping power and attachments of the ones he used to have. After the (unfortunate) disbanding of his team and his (honorable) discharge from the military as well as the new (rather stupid if you ask him) identity of Schon, he was desperate for work. It's his fault really, he should've been at home enjoying the rest of his life now that that Schen technically no longer exists.
But the soldier in him wanted to do something, so he did, and now here he is, a simple SC in a cargo ship, which took an unnecessary amount of effort, as apparently the union was still somewhat skittish about the video he broadcasted before he went on the temporary desertion, but now that he knows everything, it doesn't really matter. It isn't bad by any means, but it ain't the military, and the more he worked the more he wished for a pirate attack. He also just missed being together with his team, but alas, they have their own lives, so he had to let them go, though he does have their contact number saved on his personal datapad.
He turned on the only monitor inside his room that isn't used to look through a camera, and looked for anything interesting in the network. Interesting as in any news regarding the 'Goels' and their recent introduction, he had been keeping a close eye on it. He doesn't need to, it isn't his business anymore and if he tried to make it his business again he can expect agents on his tail, but since he was heavily involved anyway, he thought why not as well do it. And it was just fine so far, though he has no clue how the green one, Abel if his memory serves him, turned from a drone to… well… that.
He learned a bit about who humans are, and what humanity was like, before it went away and was 'replaced' by the Goels. And as far as he knows they're dead, like extinct dead, so obviously the appearance of the cheery human male that acted as the Goel ambassador shocked him. He still has no clue now, though his theory as to how essentially boils down to 'ancient civilization fuckery'. And as far as he can tell, there's no problem with that, yet, the discussions were relatively smooth if the news were to be trusted and the council seems to actually starting to trust the Goels, kind of.
He browsed through the tabs and websites, most of which he already read and glossed over.
Trade offer accepted between union and Goels
No surprise there, no man or woman in the council wanted to pass up such a deal.
Military showcase ends in awe, fear, and admirance
He saw the videos on that one, it was impressive.
Goel ambassador visits Caevit palace garden, Godfather was shook
He suppose having such an important guest roaming around your garden can be a bit complicated, so he understands.
Goel ambassador faints during a direct discussion with the council, paramedics clueless
Now that's interesting, and frankly worrying, he didn't get to see the full broadcast yesterday, actually he missed most of it, so he didn't get to see what happened.
"What happened to you?"
He mumbled as he read the article and looked at the pictures and videos of the accident. Unknown cause, immediately escorted, and the sudden silence from the Goels, and it has been for almost half a cycle now. Strange, he looked through the video again, watched how Abel behaved, and noted the many oddities present. He seemed just fine, just giving his presentation to the council as professional as one can be as an ambassador and then suddenly he just… dropped, he thought about exhaustion at first, but the longer he thinks about it the dumber it gets.
No way the current Abel is human, he was explicitly told by him that there are no humans left, so what is it?. He couldn't come up with anything, but kept it in mind as he looked for more info on the current situation. It wasn't long until he realized there's nothing else he can learn and turned off the computer. He looked at the time, and suddenly remembered something vital, alcohol break, he reached down under his desk and took out a bottle, the very same one that he took to the desert planet with him.
No shot glass no problem, he popped the cap off and drink straight from the bottle, not very classy but whatever. He hid it back under the desk and walked out of his office now that he actually remember something actually vital, his men. The security team more precisely, and he's the current captain, someone's had to check on them. He ran into one guard waiting around the cafeteria and greeted them.
"All good?"
"All good, no danger"
"Yet, keep an eye out, and if you can, help anyone in need, being a security isn't just about holding weapons and warding off pirates, you should know that by now"
"Yes sir, sorry"
"Sigh i've worked with trainees that are better than this"
He grumbled as he left to look for another man to inspect. His new subordinates are… a particular group. Some of them take the job seriously, some are a bit more relaxed but still vigilant, but most, like the one he just gave a mouthful to is God awful, improper stance, manners, no incentives, and utterly basic in weapon mastery. He has to cut them some slack, they're just basic security after all, not soldiers, but still. He ran into a more favorable one patrolling the hallway leading to the reactor, he actually knows this one's name, Koern, a Civean, and he couldn't be more glad he actually got a salute from him.
"Greetings, Captain Schon, is there any problem?"
"It's Sche- i mean… yes thank you, and no, there's no problem, just daily inspection"
"I see, how do I do?"
"As usual, very good, keep It up"
"Thank you sir… sir can i ask you something? I've been considering looking for you but now you're here…"
"Sure, i can spare some time"
"Can I request a leave from you sir?"
"I can if there are valid reasons"
"I've requested it to the captain, but all she said is that i should ask you first"
"I see, but what's the reason?"
"Family matter, I have a relative on a planet named Rosan IV, ever heard of it?"
"Isn't that the newly built colony planet?"
"It is, a much better built colony compared to the rest, new union projects and all that stuff, my cousin signed up for it, we've been communicating just fine so far, until a few days ago"
"What happened?"
"I don't know, he just went… silent, i thought okay, maybe he's busy or there's a problem with the communication there, so i just waited, but it has been too long now, usually he sends a message almost daily, now there's nothing"
"I don't think you need to ask for a leave in that case"
"Why?"
"Rosan IV is in the list of destination of this ship, station building material shipping, after this one we should be on the way there"
"Oh thank God, i knew i should've checked the list"
"Well… this is an edge operating ship, you know? In that case, all you'll need is a shore leave on any station there, short but should be enough for you to check in on your cousin"
"That's all i need sir, thank you"
"Of course, now continue your work, we'll be there before you know it"
"Yes sir"
Schen walked away with a little curiosity in his mind, Rosan IV huh? isn't that the planet that's been really silent? He remembered a conversation at the cafeteria, a few people were talking about it. Some talk about how stupid of a project it was, how it was no different than any other colony, a 'gold plated' lie if you will. But most were talking about how it became a 'ghost' of sorts, communications fell, ships that come and go there go missing, a few creepy tales here and there, it was almost a horror story.
He doubted it, such an ambitious project is bound to have some issues, there's a huge price for luxury, and that price is probably hitting right now. Which made him worried a little, a new colony is a gold mine for pirates and raiders, that was probably the price, pirate intervention. But if all goes well, it shouldn't be that bad, no way those ridiculous stories are real…. Maybe.
—-~----
Rana sat down on his padded seat, in his room, in his literal castle, thinking, not about anything in particular, but just thinking. And maybe glossing over his new arm again, to be in awe again, he still doesn't know how the movement is that smooth. Pearl white, shaped just like his other arm, even has the claws, and probably smoother in terms of movements than his actual arm despite being a prosthetic. It has been quite a while since his particular experience on that planet, and the prosthetic is still not showing any issue, any normal prosthetic would break down or need maintenance after this long of a time.
It's also… self repairing? He's not sure if he's hallucinating, but he's pretty sure the arm rebuilt itself after he accidentally bumped it into something hard. A small piece of the outer casing fell off, he didn't pay much attention to it, until it disappeared minutes after when he tried to look at it to see how bad it was. All in all, a new experience, awe inducing and a bit scary, would be really nice too, if it wasn't for-
"Rana"
"AAH! Oh… dad…"
-That, his father.
"It's time to-"
"Look at my arm and pry it open, i know"
"Good, let's-"
"But why?"
"Sigh Rana, we had this conversation before, you know the reasons"
"Well I don't want to care about it!"
"It's for our people…"
"No, it's for yourself! Come on dad! Don't you hear what they said? What did they offer? They gave us everything!"
"No one in this universe, organic or not, is stupid enough to give away vital information and material to someone else they just met, they must be hiding something"
"So they're lying, is that it?"
"Yes, i… we believe so"
"Okay, give me a reason why they're lying"
"That's what a dumb leader would do"
"Oh please, don't act like dad's not just another servant to the matriarch"
"She's your grandma"
"Doesn't change anything dad, and no, i don't like laying on a bed while people i don't know try to pry open my arm"
"Sigh does that mean you don't-"
"No"
"Fine… as you wish… but i hope you can understand"
"I already understand, and i don't like it"
"....."
Rana heard his room's door opening and then closing behind him, and sighed. Life hasn't been the same since he returned, his father has been a lot more serious, he can understand that, it makes sense. But he had been putting him into these weird 'inspections' ; they weren't inspections, they were straight up experiments, to try and pry open his new arm. That was how he discovered the last strange and fascinating thing about it, it can feel pain.
He remembered how everyone in the room froze when he screamed in pain, they were bewildered. It was only when he kicked the person inserting some sort of needle-like thing into the gaps of his prosthetic in the face that they knew what was happening. And yet, knowing what it does, his father still insists they do more of his experiments. It doesn't seem to matter how many anesthetics, painkillers and other treatments have been done, he can still feel the pain, it pops up from time to time, sometimes waking him from his sleep.
It was not something he wants to go through again, even if he's unconscious during the operation. At Least it isn't everyday he gets 'inspected' thanks to someone who dislikes the idea as much as he did. Rana heard his door open again, and smiled knowing who it was.
"Rana? Honey? There you are…"
"Hey mom…"
"Have you eaten yet?"
"Mom, a servant came here an hour ago, bringing the food, of course i did"
"Good, something to help you recover"
"Mom, I'm good, okay?"
"Nonsense…"
She gave him a pat and a scratch on the head, his favorite guilty pleasure. He always feels like he's still a child everytime she does it, and not a grown man, but it would be a total lie to say he doesn't like it.
"You need energy to recover from that"
She tapped his prosthetic.
"It's not like it's gonna grow back…"
"One can hope, it's terrible what happened to you"
"Well, it's okay now, they redeemed themselves"
"Hmph… no one's hurting my boy, no one, not even a sentient AI from a different era of the universe"
"Thanks mom… But i don't think you're fit enough to fight Cain"
"I'll beat him with my motherly aura, the thing he's missing, anyway, how's your arm, darling?"
"It's fine… still hurts sometimes"
"Sigh if only your father would listen, him and his ridiculous experiments, what's in that arm anyway?"
"Technology used by a race that defied time…"
"Doesn't justify him doing those things to you… he's been here, doesn't he?"
"He just left"
"Hmm…. You two had a talk?"
"He's just here to… you know what he does"
"Well glad to know he doesn't get through with it today, alright sweetie, just here to check up on you"
"Mom, i'm not a boy anymore"
"A boy you are not, you are a grown man, but my boy you are, and always will be, see you tomorrow honey"
"Stay safe"
"Always…"
Well that doesn't last long, Rana thought as his mother left the room, that's one of the issues they had since forever, she is always very busy. Because unlike father she's not the type to just sit behind a desk and give out orders, she's a lot more active, and caring at that. His father is the supreme general, sure, but Rana always looked up to her more, and her job as the health minister. She's always on a trip to visit hospitals all around the union and other things he doesn't know much about. And of course, unlike his father, that means she's not always home, shame.
Rana thought about it, and suddenly remembered his interaction with Lnaia that night when he first woke up to discover his arm missing. He never told it to her, but the reason she felt familiar is that both her and his mother have the same job, making sure of people's wellbeing. He thought maybe she would know, but maybe not everyone knows that the current Qrid health minister is married to the supreme general, it isn't exactly a super popular thing.
Sometimes Rana gets reminded of who his parents were everytime he looks at any news regarding the Goels, about Cain and Abel. Just how unironically similiar they are, to be so far apart in mindset and goals and yet so close to each other through love… well… atleast Cain and Abel did, he's not so sure about his parents, not anymore.
—-~----
Faen sat in his office, stressed out of his mind, everything has been a mess, Abel's incident at the councillor station, the countless interviews asking for his opinion, it was, somehow, getting a bit too much. Faen expected everything, but Abel passing out in the middle of a speech for no reason is not one of them, and for the Goels to go completely silent after, just what in the world is happening?. He doesn't like it, he doesn't like being out of control, out of the know, not knowing anything makes him uncomfortable, knowing that it can decide the fate of his kind made it near unbearable.
He founds himself scratching his own desk with his claws from all the stress, he stopped, and sighed as he brushed off the wood chips. Maybe he should he take his medications again, he opened a drawer on his desk and took out a small plastic container with labels on it, a medication for high blood pressure, he took one pill and set it back inside the drawer.
"Still on your meds, love?"
A voice came out of nowhere, it trigerred his instinct to reach for the concealed handgun next to him, but as he aimed towards whoever's in front of him, he realized it was a mistake.
"Yana…"
"Still as nimble as i remember, though you got a bit stiff on the arms there"
"I thought you already left…"
"Come on Faen, both you and i know i wouldn't leave without at least saying goodbye to you"
"Is that all you're here for?"
He said as he put the gun away, coming back to a more calm demeanor.
"Of course not, i'm here to check up on our son, and talk to you"
He raised his eyebrow a bit at that.
"Rare…"
"Not as rare as you making a call to me, we need to talk Faen"
"About?..."
"Sometimes i wonder if you take all the medicine i prescribed for you…of course about our son!"
"Sigh is this about-"
"Yes! What makes you think it's a good idea to probe our son like he's some sort of foreign creature?"
"I've taken every precaution, he's been given anesthetics and-"
"Oh i don't care, it's not about how bad of a pain he's experiencing, or how subdued it is so it's not dangerous, this is about him experiencing it in the first place! that's not supposed to happen!"
"Yana, please, we have the best doctors working on him"
"Well I don't believe you…"
"Why?"
"Because I'm the health minister and I need to see their license, and if I don't… i see them as unqualified as to even hold a needle, but i'm here not to hear you say what or… how you do this, we've been there, it doesn't matter… he's still our son and i disagree, what i want to know is why"
Faen massaged his forehead out of annoyance.
"Because-"
"You're scared…. I know"
"What?"
"You're scared of the Goels, of their ways"
"Anyone would"
"I know… and you're trying to do something about it…"
She sat down on the chair right in front of his desk, it was preserved for only other generals and the matriarch herself, incase of a private meeting, her sitting there is technically illegal.
"....But does that change anything? Change the fact that they offer help?"
"You can't trust anyone just like that, they're hiding something"
"And you can't just distrust them for the same reason, it goes both ways, even if they are, is that really a reason for you to dissect our son?"
"It's just his arm"
"So what? You're trying to take it off and leave him armless?"
"It's not the only prosthetic in the world"
"And yet the finest! You have to admit it, they are superior in many ways, they are thousands of years ahead of us, I have never seen such a sophisticated prosthetic before, you know me, this is my field, and that thing on him makes our best prosthetic look ancient!"
"But then what am I supposed to do? Do nothing? Sit there as those things do whatever they want to us? to the union?"
"No! you work with them… i heard what you two were fighting about, i was outside, about why the Goels have no reason to lie, and i agree with him"
"Then what?"
"Here's the thing Faen, there's a difference between being exploited, and working together… they're looking forward to working with you, giving the union their technology and helping it improve… you on the other hand… want to exploit them, learn what they can do and how they did it and then see if you can do it for yourself, i get the point, but why would you steal something that is given out for free?"
"Do I really have to say this again? It's because-"
"Pride… It's because of pride… looks like the old sentiment that caused the great war all those years ago are still here… shame, i thought we would be better as a species, turns out we never change, what a disappointment"
She uttered those last words with bitterness and a flat face, and left the room without another word, she didn't look back, or say goodbye as she is probably leaving, as if she doesn't care anymore. Faen was half stunned, half angry at what she said, that was just her assumption, he reasoned to himself. But now he can't stop thinking about it, as much as he tries to deny it, is that really him? Is that what she thinks of him? A disappointment?

I’m worried about my eyes.
About 6 weeks ago, i got out of bed and felt like I was rocking on a boat and I saw distant objects rocking side to side. I then developed the inability to read without the words moving about two weeks later. By moving, it’s hard to explain, they shift a little side to side or bounce very subtly. When I transition from sentence to sentence, they wave or the paragraph stretches.
I went to an optician and I have an astigmatism in my right eye of -1.0 and my left is perfect; I’ve had this for three years but never really needed glasses because I can see well enough.
Now I’m getting imbalance problems, the world bounces and seems unstable. I’m booked in for an MRI scan and I feel like I’m rocking in a boat all day long. I cannot focus on objects without them rocking side to side yet the optician scanned my eyes and retina and said they’re healthy.
When I cover one eye, they both do the same inability to focus on words without them moving. Even my good eye with perfect vision and no astigmatism makes words move. I noticed my pupils are different sizes sometimes and it changes from eye to eye; I’ve had this for years.
This is an eye problem or brain problem do you think? I have glasses for the astigmatism and it’s the same whether I wear them or not,
I do suffer from extreme anxiety over this which could be compounding the symptoms. I’ve seen a few doctors and no one really seems concerned…
I’m kinda terrified that the -1.0 astigmatism in my right eye will create a lazy eye or binocular vision dysfunction…I’ve never had double vision in either eye either. The swaying vertigo I get is actually worse when I close my eyes which leads me to believe it might be an inner eye problem.
It’s just with Dr Google lol, the first thing that pops up it’s your eyes.

It all started with a drug-induced trip that went south. I took too much mdma and then too much lsd. I had a panic attack and since then the dizziness has been constant. I went to every doctor I can think of and luckily they found nothing wrong with me, all the exams, MRI, CT, EEG, inner ear, everything said I am healthy. This is great, of course, but it makes me think my dizziness is invented. I feel very misunderstood.
The symptoms I experience are light-headedness, feeling like I might faint or have not had enough suga water, some head ache and pressure between my eyes, overstimulation and over-sensitivity when I see bright lights or go out in the sun. There is no rocking sensation !! Which is why I am not sure it could be PPPD. For me nothing moves, I only feel like fainting constantly. It’s very hard for me to focus on things, especially when it’s really bright outside, my eyes have to constantly work for me to be able to experience the world somehow normal. I also went to an eye doctor - I don’t need any glasses and the eyes are in perfect condition. I also got physiotherapy for my neck and that did not change anything either. The therapist said it is not related, but still gave me the treatment. So I also don’t know if it is cervical vertigo.
I have a theory that it could also be long covid, because I had the drug trip two weeks after recovering from covid. And I also experience brain fog. But I wonder why no exam picked on that.
The symptoms got better during the winter, mostly because I learned that there was nothing wrong and the anxiety was gone. But now that the summer is arriving, the symptoms are getting worse again. I feel like there is a constant wall between me and the world. I can’t hang out with friends for longer before getting very exhausted.
I need help ! I just want to know what I could have. Doctors have been unable to tell me anything and so far more a reason to worry than any help.
If there is any bright side on this it is maybe that I learned how to be more connected with my body. I react better to its signals, I say no more often and I try to give it the rest it is asking from me.
If anybody out there experience something similar, I would be super grateful to hear your story. At this point I just want to feel seen and understood

It all started with a drug-induced trip that went south. I took too much mdma and then too much lsd. I had a panic attack and since then the dizziness has been constant. I went to every doctor I can think of and luckily they found nothing wrong with me, all the exams, MRI, CT, EEG, inner ear, everything said I am healthy. This is great, of course, but it makes me think my dizziness is invented. I feel very misunderstood.
The symptoms I experience are light-headedness, feeling like I might faint or have not had enough suga water, some head ache and pressure between my eyes, overstimulation and over-sensitivity when I see bright lights or go out in the sun. There is no rocking sensation !! Which is why I am not sure it could be PPPD. For me nothing moves, I only feel like fainting constantly. It’s very hard for me to focus on things, especially when it’s really bright outside, my eyes have to constantly work for me to be able to experience the world somehow normal. I also went to an eye doctor - I don’t need any glasses and the eyes are in perfect condition.
I have a theory that it could also be long covid, because I had the drug trip two weeks after recovering from covid. And I also experience brain fog. But I wonder why no exam picked on that.
The symptoms got better during the winter, mostly because I learned that there was nothing wrong and the anxiety was gone. But now that the summer is arriving, the symptoms are getting worse again. I feel like there is a constant wall between me and the world. I can’t hang out with friends for longer before getting very exhausted.
I need help ! I just want to know what I could have. Doctors have been unable to tell me anything and so far more a reason to worry than any help.
If there is any bright side on this it is maybe that I learned how to be more connected with my body. I react better to its signals, I say no more often and I try to give it the rest it is asking from me.
If anybody out there experience something similar, I would be super grateful to hear your story. At this point I just want to feel seen and understood

"Whallopin' websnappers!"
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can. Spins a web any size, catches thieves just like flies. Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man. Is he strong? Listen bud, he's got radioactive blood. Can he swing from a thread? Take a look overhead. Hey there, there goes the Spider-Man. In the chill of night, at the scene of a crime, like a streak of light, he arrives just in time. Spider-Man, Spider-Man, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Wealth and fame he's ignored, action is his reward. To him, life is a great big bang-up, wherever there's a hang-up, you'll find the Spider-Man!
Strength
Striking

• Accidentally snaps a street lamp in half with a punch.
  
• Able to send regular men flying and knock them out with individual strikes, even when performed with unideal leverage.
  
• Able to send Mysterio flying across the room with individual strikes.
  
• Sends a man flying through a set of doors and a pile of crates with a punch.
  
• Punches Kingpin across the room hard enough to damage machinery. Kingpin describes himself as 300 pounds of solid muscle.
  
• Shoulders open a locked door.
  
• Stomps a file cabinet hard enough to send a drawer flying.
  
• Busts through elevator doors.
  
• Kicks a steel hatch out of its framing.
  

Swinging

• Flies through a frozen window.
  
• Swings straight through a boarded up window.
  
• Knocks a flying demon, almost twice the size of a regular person, out of the air and into the ground with a clashing swinging kick.
  
• Knocks an armored giant to the ground and knocks him out with a swinging kick.
  

Lifting & Throwing

• Lifts a manhole cover with one finger.
  
• Throws a man into Kingpin hard enough to send both into a wood wall hard enough to damage it.
  
• Stops and holds up a large ice pillar driving with enough force to shatter itself upon hitting the ground.
  
• Catches, lifts, and resets a marble collumn when its knocked over.
  

Pushing & Pulling

• Tears a metal chain off the wall.
  
• While chained to a wall, tears the chain by pulling.
  
• Busts out of a rope binding his arms.
  
  • With greater effort, busts out of a chain link net holding his whole body down.
• Runs while carrying a wooden table into a wall hard enough to heavily damage both.
  
• Bends open iron bars far enough to squeeze through.
  
• Buries the Lizard up to his waist with a shove while underwater.
  
• Tears apart a mechanical sea monster.
  
• Uses his webs to pull the legs out from under a seemingly stone giant.
  
• Lifts a toppled crane, though only seems confident in his ability to do so with a pulley system, rather than a deadlift.
  
• Holds back the Rhino charging with enough force to burst through a gas tanker (until he sneezes and is forced to let go).
  
• Tips over a massive stone statue with a leg press, struggles heavily to do so.
  

Other

• Hangs onto and climbs along the side of an in-flight airplane.
  
• Swings around a pair of gold bricks like bolas.
  
• Swings a revolver into the wall hard enough to shatter it.
  

Speed
Reactions & Dodging

• Doc Ock can't tag him with his quick moving tentacle arms.
  
• Isn't hit by a volley of icicles despite being trapped in the corner.
  
• Dodges a runaway roller coaster at the last second.
  
• Leaps out of the way of an armored truck's guns before it can fire on him.
  
• Dodges(?) a flamethrower.
  
• Dodges a thrown spear.
  
• Dodges a thrown sword at the last second, arrows fired from a bow, knocks a gun aside before it can fire then dodges a bullet from it.
  
• Spots and then dodges a falling sandbag at the last second.
  
• Catches himself from falling immediately after passing through a hole and inches before hitting a turbine.
  
• Dodges, though inconsistently, attacks that are described as "sonic blasts" or "sonic beams".
  
• Dodges a beam from some kind of unspecified energy gun.
  
• Dodges around bolts of energy fired from a machine.
  
• Dodges Electro's electricity.
  
• Dodges lightning bolts thrown by a Martian storm god.
  
• Dodges "a laser gun"'s beam.
  
  • Dodges robot energy beams, possibly more lasers, flying from multiple different directions.

Action Speed

• Swings fast enough to avoid gunfire.
  
• Goes from the on the floor to a kneeling punch in the time it takes a person to reach a few inches, then hits his partner with a punch before he can aim his gun.
  
• Lifts a table to block a volley of darts after at least the first was fired.
  
• Shoots a web to rebound a thrown glass bottle in the time it takes to reach him.
  
• Outdraws (an artificial recreation of) Jesse James.
  

Movement

• Dashes around at high speeds.
  
• Able to consistently outrun, outswing, outclimb, and dodge the pounces of a giant cat.
  
• Catches up to and leaps onto the back of an escaping car.
  
  • Catches up to an escaping car well after it reached speed.
  • Catches up to an escaping car that's explicitly going as fast as it can.
• Swings fast enough to catch up to Kingpin's escaping helicopter.
  
• Kicks a special flute out of a man's hands, then catches up to it with a web swing before it hits the ground.
  

Leaping

• Jumps several stories into the air on accident.
  
• Leaps to a rooftop several blocks away.
  
• Jumps to the top of a tall fort wall in a single bound.
  

Other

• Has the stamina to follow an escaping ship out of New York City and all the way to some mountainous desert region via swinging.

Durability
Blunt Force

• Completely no-sells a punch from a biker.
  
  • No-sells a punch from a con even while injured.
• Spun around at high speeds for half a minute and hurled against a stone pillar.
  
• Gets back up from a hit that launches him through a second story wooden railing.
  
• Crash lands through a boxcar's roof and gets back up after a second.
  
• Isn't bothered by a multi-story fall.
  
• Get crushed under a thrown car, crumpling the crane cockpit he was in, is seemingly knocked out but quickly recovers and moves just as fine after.
  
• Gets thrown into iron bars hard enough to bend them, is able an eventual recovery.
  
• Can take a full charge from the Rhino whose charges can heavily damage a train.
  
  • Takes a charge from the Rhino right after he sent a cop car flying and pierced a gas tanker.
• Gets hit by an explosion and falls at least twenty stories, the damage knocked him out and seemed to heavily injure him but he's still able to move around when conscious.
  

Energy

• Has a grenade thrown at him, and shortly after unburies himself from the rubble.
  
• Gets knocked back by an explosion that wrecks the room and quickly recovers.
  
• Able to recover from being hit by sonic blasts that are strong enough to crack a tree in half.
  
• Hardly seems fazed taking a point blank explosion from a bomb that the Vulture previously threatened to use to sink a naval battleship.
  
• Takes a zap from an electrified lance that knocked out two ordinary men and quickly recovers.
  
• Takes a bolt from Electro that simultaneously knocks iron bars out of the framing, and just after creates a large hole in the exterior wall of a prison.
  
• Is flash-frozen and comes away perfectly fine after thawing out by creatures from Pluto attempting to recreate their natural habitat.
  
  • Gets frozen at absolute zero and is able to be recovered near 24 hours later.
• Gets pinned by a bolt that is threatened, numerous times, to carry him all the way to the moon, and does carry him across most of New York and is eventually able to escape.
  

Webbing
General

• Unlike other variations of the character, this version doesn't need to press his fingers to his palm to fire webs.
  
• In addition to his normal sticky and pliable webbing, he consistently shows the ability to fire "tempered webbing" which keeps its shape and is referred to as "stronger than steel".
  
• Isn't damaged by burning hot coals.
  

Offensive
Restraint Strength

• Sticks up a manhole cover to make it immovable by a normal human.
  
• Holds and lifts a struggling man in full plate armor.
  
• Disarms and restrains the executioner of Paris, who was strong enough to swing his axe hard enough to destroy a brick chimney.
  
• Sticks a briefcase to a rock to the point where Sandman couldn't budge it, just after Sandman pitched a diamond through a web net and wrecked a bulldozer.
  

Tempered Webbing Strength

• Briefly holds back a descending elevator.
  
• Acts as replacement train tracks across a complete hole in the bridge, holding up the train all on their own.
  

Impact

• Knocks the guns out of two policemen's hands.
  
• Uses a web to fire a box of pepper.
  
• Causes a control panel to explode with two hits.
  
• A ball of webbing knocks a man across the room.
  
• Knocks the Vulture across the room and webs him up in the process.
  
• Stops the Rhino's charge and forces him back. Previously, the Rhino wasn't stopped by rifle fire and a stationary armored truck.
  

Defensive
Elasticity Strength

• Pulls Spider-Man, carrying a child, out of quicksand, that was pulling hard enough to bend a thick tree.
  
• Catches and holds a falling billboard sign.
  
• Trips the twenty foot tall Scorpion.
  
• Lets a car down gently for several stories.
  
• Plugs a cannon that causes it to backfire and explode when fired.
  
• Makes a slingshot that rebounds a wrecking ball hard enough to demolish the crane it was hanging from.
  
• Rebounds a small boulder being throw with enough force to chip at concrete.
  
• Stops and rebounds a speeding motorcycle.
  
• Stops a speeding car.
  
• Stops an armored car.
  
• Uses a single coiled string of web to catch the Rockefeller Center's bronze statue of Prometheus which weighs 8 tons.
  
• When using his webs to trap a hole that the Rhino plans to charge through, the brick building around the hole gives up before his webs do.
  
• Able to stop the flying momentum of a giant war bird made of solid gold before snapping.
  

Shields

• Coats his fists in webbing to protect from shattering glass.
  
• A shield of webbing is completely bulletproof.
  
  • Blocks a volley of arrows.
• Slows and stops magically fired cannonballs.
  
• Blocks falling rocks from hitting him.
  
• Protects him from micro-missiles.
  
• Stops a dozen cars being thrown at him with a dome.
  

Spread

• Walls off half of a store with a single spray.
  
• Walls off the mouth of a cavern.
  
• Creates a band that covers the entire width of a street.
  
• Spreads a web across and over the Golden Gate Bridge.
  
• Spins a web between two skyscrapers to stop an escaping ship.
  
• Snags the tip of the Empire State Building from halfway across town and uses that to swing from midtown to the docks.
  
• Snags onto Skymaster's dirigible from around building height.
  
• Creates a web that covers an entire submarine.
  

Utility

• Able to easily maneuver through the New York skyline by swinging on strands of webbing.
  
  • Does much the same in dense forested areas.
• Uses his webbing to make a handheld slingshot and a trampoline.
  
  • Uses webbing between two buildings to save himself from a lethal fall.
• Creates a parachute with a blanket of webbing.
  
  • Does the same that supports the weight of himself and a football quarterback.
• Creates a pliable sail and a stiff rudder for a sabotaged ship in a storm.
  
• Hides inside a watertight ball of webbing to save himself from drowning.
  
• Shoots the webbing fluid into a keyhole, when the webbing expands it allows it to be unlocked.
  
• Reconnects a split wire, allowing electrical current.
  
  • Connects his web to the third rail of a tram to electrify an enemy caught in it.
• Helps mask the sound of shattering glass.
  

Weird Usages

• Has enough control over his webs while shooting them to tie knots in his lines without touching them with his hands.
  
  • Creates a lasso that flies across the room, grabs the gun out of an assailant's hands, and pulls it away.
  • Flies up, loops around an overhead wire, comes back down, then ties itself off on an object he needs to lift.
  • Snaps the head off a spear as its flying.
  • Guides a football into the running arms of a man who claimed that "even if the football does lucky land in [his] arms [he doesn't] think [he] could catch it".
  • Grabs a vase out of a man's hands and gently puts it back down, from a distance.
• Straps webs to his feet and spins a web incredibly fast behind him to skim across the surface of a swamp river.
  
  • Does this to pull against the thrust of a rocket.
• Wraps up a note with one string of web, then fires it off with another, in one squeeze.
  
• Creates four small net bags of webbing, two from each shooter.
  
• Spins his webbing like a drill to pull himself up out of hard wax and to the ceiling.
  
• Webs himself into a ball and rolls fast enough to bowl through several police officers, and near immediately after escapes from the webbing.
  
• Creates a serrated blade to free himself from bindings.
  
  • Creates a small sawblade to tear out of plastic wrappings.
• Creates a functioning airboat that functions as well as the real thing.
  

Spider Powers

• Able to cling to surfaces in order to easily maneuver New York's skyline.
  
  • Even otherwise slippery surfaces like smooth ice.
  • Even in the pouring rain.
  • Climbs up the side of a ship out of the ocean.
  • He fails to cling when his fingers are too covered in crude oil.
• Has a Spider-Sense, but it doesn't often come in too helpful.
  
  • Here's an instance of it working.
  • Effectively allows him to avoid an arrow he didn't see coming.
  • Uses his spider-sense to nail down someone hiding behind a false wall.
  • Uses his spider-sense to guide a crashing plane over land in the middle of a storm.
• Has some kind of spider hearing that allows him to make out a garbled message a scientest could not.
  
• Was able to resist a hypnotic ray that incapacitated to police officers thanks to "spider vision".
  

Intelligence

• Quickly susses out the true identity of the Lizard, looks over the remnants of Dr. Connor's work to confirm it, then creates an antidote to his lizard serum.
  
  • Shown here working.
• Able to create an EMF tracker and alter his webbing to be resistant to electricity using the power of asbestos.
  
  • Creates a webbing formula that is able to reflect and absorb stone-breaking amounts of electricity.
• Creates a formula he calls IBP which stands for Instant Banana Peel (functionally an oil slick coating).
  
• Creates a breathing mask and new webbing fluid to fight Doctor von Schlick. The mask allows him to breath and see while swimming through crude oil, and the webbing could stick to von Schlick even when his standard webbing couldn't.
  
• Develops anti-magnetic webbing to counteract Dr. Magneto's magnetizing ray despite Magneto's ray being able to magnetize any physical substance.
  
• Creates a "automatic bloodhound gadget" that is able to track a scrap of cloth back to its source.
  
• Reverse engineers a tracking device to lead him to the tracker.
  

Gadgets & Gear

• Tosses a spider tracker onto Electro without his immediate noticing, allowing him to track him across the city.
  
• Has a pocket heat ray that instantly bakes mud.
  
• Has a wrist-mounted flashlight to see through thick fog.
  
  • Has a flashlight on his belt that's able to help a ship come to shore during a stormy night when the lighthouse goes out.
• His standard spider suit isn't affected by a chemical agent that dissolves the gas mask he was wearing over it.
  

Other

• Isn't bothered by tear gas.
  
• Hears a weak call from help from a great distance away.
  
• Throws a pair of large gemstones into the mouth of a monster plant some distance away.
  
• Hides inside of a suitcase, then when discovered, escapes through a vent the size of a suitcase behind him without any of the soldiers watching him noticing.
  
• Is the only one in a large, crowded theater to even partially resist a combination of hypnotic gas and imagery.
  
• Able to resist the will-sapping effect of the Radiation Specialist's mind control radiation.
  
• Skilled at marble carving.
  
• Quickly picked up ventriloquism.
  
• Often benefits from bad animation.
  

Chitti Robot

"Hello world. I am robot. Speed one terahertz. Memory one zetabyte."

Chitti Robot is the star of the Bollywood action films Enthiran and 2.0, playing the part of both the hero and sometimes the villain. Chitti is an advanced combat robot built by Doctor Vasikar, a genius robotics and computer engineer. Chitti was by a massive margin the most advanced ai and most powerful robot on the planet, equipped with an amazingly strong electromagnet and advanced combat capabilities. Vasikar hoped to sell Chitti to the Indian military, but he was ultimately rejected on account of not understanding the value of human life.
To remedy this, Vasikar attempted to teach Chitti human emotions, only succeeding after a stray bolt of lighting hit Chitti. However, this backfired, as a now emotional Chitti quickly fell in love with Vasikar's fiance, and, love-struck, refused to demonstrate his capabilities to the military. Furious, Vasikar violently dismantled his creation, tearing him apart with an axe and throwing him in the dumpster.
However, Chitti would soon return, with new programming in tow...

Intelligence

• Learns to walk almost immediately
• Has downloaded data in various subjects, including math, science, art and language
• Quickly scans a book and learns its contents
• Recites a number's fibonocci number immediately, and notes that it is also an existing phone number
• Knows a prime number so high it will take years to verify
• Recognizes and corrects a man's singing

Physicals

Strength

• While still being constructed, accidentally elbows a man across a room
• While still being constructed, accidentally kicks a man across a room into a desk
• Punches two men a ways
• Smashes a speaker system with one chop
• Jumps into a river and jumps a great distance out
• Grabs a man, uses him as a club, and then throws him into a group of thugs, knocking them down.
• Knocks down a group of thugs by punching two of them
• Kicks through metal window bars
• Kicks through a brick wall
• Rips a door off its' frame
• Throws a metal-framed net high into the air
• Holds down a large armored truck as it's being lifted into the air
• Prevents a truck from falling on its side and pushes it back upright
• Pushes a truck back as it's being pulled in
• Stops an armored truck from smashing against a tree several times
• Catches a large armored truck thrown towards the ground, and carries it

Durability

• No-sells a bottle smashed over his head
• Tanks rocks and bricks shattering into him
• Only slightly damaged by a club to the face (note that he is only sluggish because his battery is running low)
• Kicked out of a moving train into a post
  • Is shown to be completely unharmed by this after charging his battery
• Can withstand up to 1000 degrees celcius
  • However, his skin still quickly melts off
• Is attempted to be crushed briefly, but is unharmed after escaping
  • Said phones previously obliterated a man fairly easily
• After falling from a window on a skyscraper, lands unharmed on his rollerskates
• Nila, a robot of the same model and also built by professor Vasikar, is fully bulletproof

Speed

• While on a moving train, outruns another train moving in the opposite direction
• Uses a staff to destroy various thrown bricks and rocks, only starting to miss because his battery runs low
• Catches up to a moving train on foot
• Punches so fast his fists blur
• Runs on walls and catches a knife thrown at him
• Chases a mosquito around a room and back to its home
• Nila, a robot of the same model and also built by professor Vasikar, jumps in front of bullets to block them.
• Quickly leaps to a construction net, breaks its chains, and swings it underneath a group of falling people before they hit the ground
• Leaps out of a giant talon's way as it tries to smash him
• Jumps far out of a talons reach as it tries to crush him
• While on the side of a building, flips out of the way of an attack and through a window
  • The bird attacking him is fast enough to disassemble to dodge an incoming missile from close range on reaction
• Dashes in front of Pakshi Raja to block his strike
  • Pakshi Raja is fast enough to casually dodge bullets at point-blank range
• After being thrown to the ground, rushes up to stop Pakshi Raja's strike
• Jumps in front of bullets after they've been fired

Agility

• Flips over and jumps onto an incoming moving train
• Flips over a train from one side to the other
• Quickly transverses the exterior of a building while searching for a girl inside
• Quickly slides underneath a truck to the other side
• Flips over a truck from one side to the other

Fighting Skill

• Learns a fighting style almost immediately
• Easily fights a group of armed thugs
• Jumps and hangs from train handholds, and fights thugs from there
• Dodges a swing from behind and rotates his arms backward
• Fights skillfully using a staff

Gear

Electromagnet

• Disarms an entire group of thugs by pulling their weapons and various other metallic objects to him
• Disarms a group of thugs by extending his magnetism to a car he's driving
• Unzips a man's fly and then pulls his pants off
• Attaches himself to a moving train and runs sideways on it
• Can focus on distant metallic objects and pull himself to them, allowing him to leap great distances
  • Leaps to a lamp post while carrying two people
  • Pushes himself out of a mass of cell phones trying to crush him
  • Leaps far from a bus to the side of a building
• Runs up the side of a skyscraper
• While running up the side of a building, pulls two distant assault rifles to him

Rollerskates

• Catches up to a moving train
• Creates sparks that start a fire by grinding his skates against metal

Other Skills

• Can charge his battery from virtually any power source
• Can emit projections or holograms from his eyes
  • Projects the answers of a test onto a paper
• Scans a woman and draws her portrait in moments
• Immediately locates a purse thrown into a river from a moving train
• Can remove his head
• Skilled cook and homemaker
• Has a wireless transmitter built into him
• Uses infrared waves to control the volume on a speaker
  • Turns said speaker up so high in explodes and shatters nearby glass
• Points his eyes in different directions
• Accurately shoots two apples with a pistol
• Has an ultrasound mode that allows him to see a baby inside the womb
• Delivers a baby safely that the doctors couldn't
• Immediately locates a single mosquito flying in a room
• Has a "mosquito mode", that allows him to understand and talk to mosquitoes.
• Shocks a mosquito to death as it tries to enter his mouth
• Somehow changes his hairstyle and color by just shaking his head
• Juggles a multitude of objects at once
• Can see and record different frequencies and spectrums
• Can scan an area for electromagnetic frequencies

Chitti 2.0

"Sir- Cash, check, or credit card?"

"Gun."

After being destroyed by Vasikar, a skinless, broken-down Chitti was dumped in the trash and eventually taken to a landfill. However, he was still functional, and was found by Professor Bohra, Vasikar's mentor-turned rival. Desperate for a functioning military robot that he promised to sell to terrorists, Bohra rebuilt Chitti and added some programming of his own; the destruction chip, making Chitti violent and powerful.
This new Chitti, dubbed "Chitti 2.0", drastically differed in personality and appearance. He kidnapped Vasikar's fiance Sana, killed Bohra, and created an army of clones, killing hundreds of people in the process.
Chitti 2.0 was defeated eventually, and a restored Chitti was dismantled. But decades later, a mysterious supernatural threat called for Chitti's return, and eventually, 2.0's as well.

Physicals

Strength

• Smashes a floor
• Easily throws a man high into the air
• Stops a car speeding towards him and flips it over his head
• Stops two moving trucks and pulls them together
• Fully lifts a car into the air, using it as a shield
• Smashes a man's head open
• Knocks a man out in one hit

Speed

• Gets into his car, does a donut, and drives off before a car he tossed hits the ground

Durability

• He and his clones are all bulletproof

Skill

• Easily kills several guards with a pistol
• Kills several guards high above him from the top of a moving truck
• Drives a car off the road into the air, and ricochets it off a post onto the top of a truck

Gear

Roller Skates

• Fast enough to chase after a military vehicle
• Can boost his skates to outspeed birds flying overhead

Finger Gun
After killing Bohra and kidnapping Sana, Chitti modified his hands to shoot actual bullets.

• Can fire bullets from his fingers like a gun
• Can fire multiple in rapid succession, from either hand

Electromagnet

• Pulls a large number of assault rifles to him and fires them all at once
• Lifts up several motorcycles and flips them back
• Pushes a motorcycle through and out a bus
• Throws a sickle into a man's arm
• Flies himself through a car, pushing a man out in the proccess
• Pulls even more guns to him, forming a complete circle of guns around him and fires them all, destroying a horde of enemies
• With help from his clones, pulls large metal objects from a large radius, including multiple cars and a fire engine

Other

• Remotely controls a car
• Repairs himself

Clones

After kidnapping Sana, Chitti created an army of identical copies of himself, who he could command to do his bidding. These clones can all link up with Chitti, forming massive structures and weapons.
Physicals

• [Strength] Tears cars apart
• [Strength] Throw a car and a motorcycle into the air
• [Strength] With a little time, punch through an armored truck
• [Durability] Functions fine after having head sliced open
• [Durability] Are bulletproof

Other

• Can charge themselves
• Come with their own roller skates like the original Chitti

Formations

Original Clone Army (Ambigious Number of Clones)
Ball

• Forms into a giant sphere and uses guns to shoot in all directions
• [Strength] Crushes through soldiers and support beams alike
• [Strength] Fires clones in all directions, smashing into soldiers, and then reforms
• [Speed] Expands to dodge missiles, though a few still hit

Cylinder

• [Strength] Forms a cylinder and rotates around, crushing soldiers
• [Speed] Unravels to dodge missile fire

Wall

• [Strength] Form a large wall and crushes soldiers

Tower

• Quickly build into a tower that reaches a helicopter
• [Strength/Speed] Dodges missiles and throws a helicopter through the air into another one

Snake

• Forms a cobra and shoots gunfire from its "tongue"
• Forms a different kind of snake, swallows cars and soldiers, crushes them, and then spits the pieces out the other end
• [Strength] Climbs a tower and grabs hold of a helicopter

Drill

• [Strength] Forms a drill and quickly burrows deep into the ground

Giant

• Forms a massive version of Chitti
• [Strength] Cracks the street just by taking steps
• [Strength] Stomps on various army vehicles, destroying them instantly
• [Strength] Kicks an army truck very far through the air
• [Strength] Jumps up and spikes a helicopter into the ground

Second Clone Army (500 Clones)
Ball

• Forms a much more massive ball than the first one, firing guns in every direction
• [Strength] Smashes through stadium stands and concrete structures
• [Durability] Is smacked hard by Pakshi Raja's bird form through a goal into stands and is unharmed
  • Said bird form is strong enough to destroy buildings by casually flying into them and to smash up a street

Cage

• Surrounds Pakshi Raja's bird form by forming into a net, and then forms a cage around him, shooting at him inside

Giant Chitti

• Magnetically attracts all kinds of metal, including cars and metal fixtures, to form a massive giant version of himself.
• [Strength] Uses a large stadium fixture as a club and clashes evenly with Pakshi
• [Strength] Leaps on Pakshi and throws him a ways
• [Strength] Ragdolls Pakshi and throws him into stadium stands
• [Durability] Fine after being thrown far by Pakshi into stands

Chitti 3.0 - Kutti The Microbot

"A lion can't touch a mosquito, big birdie! But if mosquitoes set their minds, they can chase the lion to its doom!"

Kutti the microbot is a miniature version of Chitti, built by 2.0 to fight Pakshi Raja. He leads an army of microbots to save the day when Chitti 2.0 was on the verge of defeat.
Physicals

• [Strength] Strong enough individually to snap a bird's neck if desired
• [Speed] On birds, dodge Pakshi's strike

Other

• Commands massive amounts of microbot clones
• Can run up walls
• Tame, mount, and control thousands of birds
• Can morph into cell phones and attach themselves magnetically
• Self-destruct, destroying all of Pakshi's constructs
• Can also be used as a normal cell phone

I started on low dose only 20mg twice a week for 3 months , increased it to 20mg 3 times a week for another 3 months, currently I’m on 20mg daily .. my doctor didn’t specify the length or any increase in the future , I thinks shes experiencing the low dose method on me. To be honest I’ve avoided the purge/breakout till now , other side effects have been minimal, but also the improvement .. not much difference. Smaller pores maybe but not the clear glass skin I was wishing for.
I was wondering if it was ok use creams and wash gels wish salicylic acid?
I really wanted to treat my scars and overall skin appearance with RF micro needling sessions, or should I wait for Accutane course to be over?
Any thoughts or advice?

Hello! Looking for katalking stage and then we'll see if we vibe and where life and God would lead us hehehe 🥰
About you: - Born again Christian (NON-NEGOTIABLE pls don't message me na if you're not 😭 kasi wala talaga) - Not overweight (no offense meant as I'd want you to be healthy rin but you don't have to work out naman) - +/- 3 my age - not looking for nsfw pls - won't mind clingy/inconsistent replies - from NCR - won't mind chats to get to know muna before meeting - bonus if malalim boses
About me - Born again Christian - Short haired Chinese with glasses - Medical student (so you've got a future doctor in your hands if ever 🤣 but cons is I can be busy during duties though I'll try to make time for you) - Malambing and sweet na boses sabi ng mga tao - clingy if she likes you - medyo overthinker minsan so please bear with me but I'll confront you about it - loves manga - big 4 - from NCR
Find out the rest in PMs, send a short intro and asl and let's vibe check, I'll ignore those without asl sorry.
Sabihan mo ako agad if physical attraction matters to you para exchange pic agad tayo so I won't disappoint you or something lmaoooo

A few weeks ago I was watching a horror movie in the living room, I was home alone and it was almost 2 am so it made it even scarier. About half way through the movie I heard some scuffling and leaves rustling outside my window, I brushed it off because I knew we had some raccoons in the backyard. About 20 minutes before the end I paused the movie to refill my popcorn bucket and refilled my drink. I looked over out the window and saw a shadow with long hair and a nightie, I turned on the outside light to see who it was and it was me, except they were extremely pale and eyes blacked out, and they had a giant chefs knife covered in blood, I moved my arm up to do a sort of scared wave to see if they would respond, they didn’t just respond, they waved their arm up exactly as I did, I did a few more movements with my arm to see if they would still copy me, and they did. I soon realized if they copied my movements, I must of made them kill someone or something with that knife for it to be covered in blood, I moved my left arm and they moved their arm with the knife in their hand. I drove my hand closer to my throat and the knife slowly glided through its throat. I fell to the floor and passes out, I woke up in the hospital with a thick layer of bandages on my neck, the doctor came in an asked if I tried to kill myself, “no” I replied, a another doctor came in and asked me if was any substances, “no”. After a few weeks of recovering I went back home and stood in the place I found the doppleganger I looked closer and I found them again, I walked closer to them until I reached the glass window separating me from the outside, I looked again and found a human sized mirror, than I remembered i replaced my bedroom wardrobe door. I shook in fear as I realized there wasn’t a doppleganger, I-it was me the whole time

Losing Grandma was like a cursed package deal that came with so many micro losses and long drawn out after effects. Just a few years before she died, Grandma had to sell her beautiful home up north where we would go for big family reunions over the summer long weekend. It was the perfect cozy house. She loved it dearly and had worked extremely hard for it having come from poverty as a child. She was an avid reader with a top notch book collection where I discovered some of my favourite stories including The Hobbit, Heidi, and The Picture of Dorian Gray. Her house overlooked dense woods and a lake. Her yard was a big hill and we would run up and down it to the dock, over the grass, the moss, the flowers. I am romantacizing it. It wasn't perfect, it was in cottage country and could get insufferably loud from all the annoying rowdy people on four wheelers or in the motor boats over the summer holiday. The geese could also be a bit of a nuisance and they wouldn't budge if you tried to shoo them off the yard sometimes. My grandma had a birdfeeder, but she had to take it down cause a bear kept coming by to eat from it and drink the nectar. So, yes, it was definitely not perfect. But it was still one of my favourite places growing up. Losing my grandma's house felt like the loss of a second person. I miss that place dearly and all the good memories. My grandma selling the house was completely reasonable however, as it was not safe for her to be there anymore on her own. Her health issues began to stack up. She got shingles that caused her horrific pain, and then bell's palsy a few months later. After that she began to develop dementia. It was fcking heartbreaking. She went through so much pain within a few short years. When she was sick with dementia, she accidentally took too much of her medication and had to be hospitalized when she was found on the floor with a concussion and hypothermic, ice cold. After the concussion, she developed new overlapping mental illness along with dementia. She had ultra rapid cycling bipolar psychosis, so she would be in extreme emotional anguish, furious and violent, or very sweet and happy throughout the day, while hallucinating all sorts of things and suffering delusions. We think she may have also had pseudobulbar affect, but there was a lot going on and it was hard to tell. But they got her on medication to help soothe the emotional anguish she was suffering. Grandma was happy in the week before her death and giving everyone hugs. She died in 2019. It doesn't feel like thatl ong ago since the pandemic messed time up. I still mourn her and the happy memories of visiting her and seeing my family every summer at her house.
There are a lot of things that have been changed by her passing. I realized that due to my autism and severe social anxiety, I struggle greatly with maintaining family relationships and even though they are on social media I can't even stay in touch with them because of my fear of social media (this is from bullying trauma). It might seem crazy to some people that using social media would be scary, but it truly does overwhelm me and I can't handle all the stimuli and all the people at once. I get scared and have pretty much remained silent. I also have this challenge with texting my family members due to social anxiety. I don't know why. When we saw each other at my grandma's house every summer, that helped me socialize and stay in touch with everyone. That was our precious time to interact and it's gone now and I don't know how to get over this new challenge. I have a hard time with change. I am not good at initiating contact. It was always up to someone else to bring us together to have fun and socialize. I am so ashamed and heartbroken by my failure to remain in touch with my family. I cry so much over this problem and growing rift. I didn't want to become estranged.
Now another family member is dying. He was diagnosed with cancer this winter. This month the doctor gave him his "death sentence" how how long he has to live with his untreatable cancer. He is a loved member of our family, multi-skilled and full of life. He's a performer and has rescued many dogs and a few cats. He's not old and it's like a car crash finding out he's going to die.
There has also been not a death, but a tragedy with a non-bio family member. She relapsed into a drug addiction this year and lost her house. Her child (a sweet little girl who I got to meet and spend time with a few times when we saw each other for Christmas) was taken into custody by social workers. Prior to her drug addiction, this woman was one of the most maternal people . She was great with kids, extremely loving and motherly. She's older than me and when I was a little kid she made up such fun games to play and made me so happy. It absolutely kills me that her drug addiction has won and take over her life. We live in the same town and I have no fcking idea what to even say to her. I feel like there's a glass barrier and I can't speak to her or anything...i don't know what to do.
I have been crying so much this month, everything just hit me and I do not know how to cope with this. Where do I go from here? I appreciate recommendations for any support groups or anything at all that has helped you with this sort of thing, this ongoing complicated grief.

Captain knocks on the door to Human Dave's quarters, and an assenting yell to enter is heard.
Human Dave is seated on the floor, holding a glass bottle that contains a clear liquid, looking very relaxed.
Alien Captain: "Human Dave, are you alright?"
HD: "Captain! Never better!"
Human Dave starts giggling uncontrollably while looking at Captain.
AC: "Human Dave, are you quite certain? You are acting atypical of your normal behaviour, especially as I have noticed you are sitting atop your datapad."
HD: "I am?"
Human Dave looks down and also notices that he is sitting on a datapad; the screen having cracked from his weight.
HD: "Ah, crap. I'll have to fix that later."
AC: "Human Dave, what is that bottle?"
HD: "Oh, this? It's a little present from my dad. He finally managed to make some quality booze and had it shipped to me by courier."
AC: "Booze?"
HD: "Right. Uhh... what's the word again? Oh! Right! Alcohol!"
AC: "Alcohol? Is that not an extremely dangerous substance used to keep surfaces and skin sterile in preparation for surgery? Why are you ingesting it?"
Human Dave takes another swig from the bottle.
HD, slurring: "Coz' this one tastes good. Alcohol is something that humans consume regularly for rec... rec... it's used to loosen us up and help us relax, Captain."
AC: "Human Dave, you appear to be intoxicated."
HD: "I am, Captain! I'm intoxi... in... I'm drunk, Captain!"
AC, unnerved: "...maybe I should go and get Doctor. Perhaps she has something that can remedy this situation."
HD, loudly: "Nooo. I'm fine, Captain. It'll wear off after I sleep."
AC: "..."
HD, trailing off: "Might regret gettin' so drunk when I wakes up, but I'll be fine."
Human Dave slowly leans to the side and slumps onto the ground.
The contents of the bottle spill slightly, but the bottle appeared to be mostly empty when Human Dave fell.
A snort sounds out loudly, startling Captain for a moment, which is followed by loud snoring.
AC: "..."
AC: "Maybe I will get Doctor, just in case."
...
AC: "What is your professional opinion, Doctor?"
Doctor and Captain stand in Human Dave's quarters.
Doctor is keeping a close eye on Human Dave while using a medical grade scanner to ascertain his current condition.
Alien Doctor: "Human Dave will be fine, Captain. Humans are capable of metabolising ethanol in this form, but excess is not recommended."
Human Dave snorts loudly again but continues to sleep.
AC: "How will we know how much is considered an excessive amount?"
AD: "That depends on the individual human, Captain. I am willing to bet that Human Dave knows his limits and will not imbibe in excess of his body's limits."
AC: "Is ethanol not extremely harmful to sentient beings?"
AD: "It is, however, humans have made many forms that are capable of being ingested by many species in the galaxy. I daresay that this one that Human Dave has consumed is too strong for our biology, but he may have access to weaker forms that are compatible with our bodies."
AC: "You sound as though you want to ingest such a deadly substance."
AD: "... I will admit that my scientific curiosity is considering the idea, as I am somewhat curious as to how our physiology will react to intoxication in this form."
AC: "... how intoxication is somehow a curiosity to you, Doctor, I will never understand."
AD: "However, that is a discussion to take place after Human Dave has awakened from his alcohol-induced slumber."
...
HD: "... oh, God, my head!"
AD: "Human Dave, how are you feeling?"
Human Dave runs a hand over his face, and it settles over his eyes.
HD, covering his eyes: "... like I just went seven rounds with a Keltiss War-kin."
AD: "Ah. Interesting. Human Dave, drink this."
Doctor hands Human Dave a water pouch, and he takes it gratefully.
HD, between sips of water: "Thank you very much, Doctor. Have you been studying up on human biology and physiology again?"
AD: "I have had a somewhat interesting refresher, especially in regards to intoxication in your species, Human Dave."
HD: "Ah. Did I do anything too embarrassing?"
AD: "Aside from making Captain panic slightly, no. Which is a pity. I have heard that humans make wonderful fools of themselves when intoxicated."
HD: "Well, at least I didn't try to take the engine apart."
AD: "..."
HD: "I didn't try to take the engine apart, did I?"
AD: "Sadly, no. It would have been an amusing sight."
Human Dave continues to sip at his water pouch, still covering his eyes.
HD: "Did you need something else from me, Doctor? You seem curious about something."
AD: "I was curious about something, Human Dave."
HD: "What is it?"
AD: "Do you have a recommendation for alcohol that is compatible with the Cradelian physiology?"
HD: "... what?"
AD: "I find myself curious as to the sensation of intoxication, and would like to experience it myself, for scientific purposes."
HD, quietly, to himself: "'For scientific purposes', she says."
AD: "Yes. Cradelians do not imbibe ethanol in this form, nor do we normally experience intoxication in social settings. The only time a Cradelian would experience intoxication is when undergoing surgery from anaesthesia, as it has something of a narcotic effect on our physiology."
HD: "I'll tell you what: let me get over this hangover, and I'll see what I can do."
AD: "Excellent. I look forward to the experience."
...
AC: "Remind me again how it came to this, Human Dave."
Human Dave and Captain are carrying a thoroughly intoxicated Doctor back to the ship; one on either side of her, with her arms draped over their shoulders; her feet barely dragging along the ground.
HD: "Doctor wanted to try being drunk. So I took her to a human bar and tried out a few drinks.
AC: "..."
HD: "We found one that was weak enough not to cause any significant damage to her physiology, and she had a blast."
AC: "What is a 'blast', Human Dave?"
HD: "I meant that she enjoyed herself, Captain. She only managed two before she passed out, though. A Mojito and a vodka soda, if I remember correctly. I'm pretty sure she liked the Mojito more because of its fruity flavour."
AC: "Doctor is partial to fruits, so that is understandable."
HD: "How come you didn't try anything, Captain?"
AC: "And run the risk of poisoning myself as a result? No, thank you, Human Dave."
HD: "Then I'll just have to introduce you to some zero-alcohol drinks, Captain. They are basically the same as alcoholic drinks, only no alcohol content in them."
AC: "... that seems an acceptable alternative, Human Dave. And Doctor did seem to enjoy herself before she passed out."
HD: "A bit of sleep, and maybe a once-over with the medical scanner, and she'll be fine."
AC: "... that you even have to mention the medical scanner, even in passing, does not fill me with a sense of confidence, Human Dave."

Just like every year on 9th of September, 1944 was no different. Military was, again, organizing a ball to celebrate the foundation of the Republic.
Mark always found this event exciting. He was a staunch republican but that was not the only reason. Ball has always been one of the only activities where high ranking officers sat together and talked to each other in a lightened mood.
He went into the ball room and immediately after, one of the other officers called to him. He was the commander of the 2nd Army, Eric Hill. “Come, Mark. Sit with us.”
Mark saluted and sat down on a chair. The table was crowded with generals, almost everyone here was also a member of the General Staff. A server rushed towards him in order to get his order.
Mark turned towards the waiter and said, “Just water.”
Server nodded and rushed. Eric spoke out;
“You are not staying I assume?”
Mark replied, “No, General. I’m not. We’ve spotted movements on the other side of the Rummish border. My division is currently investigating the issue. I’ll depart for Narbel in a few hours.”
Eric nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. "I see. Duty calls, as always. It's a shame you won't be able to stay and enjoy the festivities, Mark. But I trust your judgment when it comes to matters of national security."
Mark nodded solemnly. "Thank you, General. It's unfortunate timing, but our duty to protect the Republic must always come first. I'll do everything in my power to ensure the safety of our borders."
As the server returned with Mark's glass of water, he took a sip and continued, "We've been monitoring the Rummish border closely for any signs of aggression. It seems tensions have been escalating recently. Have you received any specific intelligence regarding the movements?"
Eric leaned in, his expression serious. "Indeed, Mark. Our intelligence reports indicate that the Rummish forces have been conducting military exercises near the border. It's difficult to determine their exact intentions, but it's clear they're flexing their military might. We cannot afford to underestimate them."
Mark nodded again, his mind already focused on the impending mission. "I understand, General. I'll make sure my unit is prepared for any possible scenarios. We cannot afford to let our guard down."
Another officer, General Roberts, interjected, "Mark, I've heard rumors of a potential diplomatic solution to ease the tensions. Do you think there's any truth to that?"
Mark glanced at General Roberts, contemplating the question. "It's hard to say, General. Diplomatic solutions are always preferable, but we must be cautious. The Rummish have been known to use diplomacy as a tactic to buy time or gather intelligence. Remember Dome? Everyone thought it was safe and sound until the Rummish took the city overnight. We must remain vigilant and prepared for any outcome."
Eric added, "Indeed, Mark. Diplomacy may be an option, but we cannot rely solely on it. Our military strength and readiness are crucial in maintaining our security and protecting our interests."
Mark nodded in agreement with General Eric's statement. "You're absolutely right, General. Diplomacy can only go so far, and in times of uncertainty, it's our military strength and readiness that ensure the safety and stability of our Republic."
General Roberts, a seasoned veteran, chimed in. "I remember a time during the Battle of Zeharen when we were outnumbered and outgunned. It was a grueling fight, but our determination and the valor of our soldiers turned the tide. We held our ground, pushing back the rebel forces and securing a crucial victory. You were also protecting our northern flank in that battle, Mark. If we fight our battles like we fought in Zeharen, no one will even dare to attack Sordland."
Mark listened intently, his eyes reflecting a mixture of respect and questioning. He surely admired Roberts's patriotism and heroism but have always criticized his 'unrealistic approaches to modern problems'. Mark replied, "It's stories like these, General Roberts, that remind us of the sacrifices and courage displayed by our men and women on the front lines. Their unwavering dedication and bravery make us proud to serve alongside them. But we must also remember that not only bravery can win a fight. Having a more maneuverable unit with better weaponry has enabled us to shed less Sordish blood while crushing the rebels."
General Hill, known for his experience, shared a more somber tale. "During the Siege of Holsord in the Civil War, I commanded a battalion that was tasked with holding a critical position. We fought tooth and nail, enduring heavy bombardment and relentless assaults. Many lives were lost, and the toll it took on our soldiers was immense. But we held that position, not just for the sake of victory, but for the comradeship and unwavering bond that develops in the face of adversity."
Mark's gaze turned introspective, his mind filled with memories of fallen comrades. "War is a harsh and unforgiving reality, General. It tests the limits of our humanity and challenges our notions of what is right and just. It's our duty as leaders to honor the sacrifices made by those who came before us and strive for a world where peace prevails."
“Do you have any memories to share with us, Mark? You fought in the civil war, were with us in Zeharen and also fought against BFF. I’m sure you have dozens of memories right now.” said General Roberts. Mark Replied;
“Yes, General. But one of them still scratches my mind.” Mark replied and continued, “In Bergia, especially in winter time, BFF return to the mountains like bears going into hibernation. Because as terrorists with no clear pathway between mountains and with very light clothing, it becomes very hard for them to move from hill to hill, mountain to mountain. And in the first days of the spring, they come out from their caves, like bears themselves.”
​
General Hill laughed and said, “Come on, Mark. We already know how BFF operates.”
​
Mark smiled and continued, “In that time, while guarding his post in the outskirts of Deyr, one Sergeant Major spotted something with his binoculars, approximately 500 meters away. He noticed that someone was running away from the forest towards an open area with practically no cover. Sergeant noticed that the person he was watching seemed to be short and slender for an adult. Sergeant thinks to himself that it might be a child running, but the way the person is running doesn't seem playful; they are running while looking behind as if they're escaping from something. Then, a larger figure resembling a horse enters the frame from the same forest and starts chasing after the kid. After analyzing the figure for three seconds, the sergeant shouts, "Damn, it's a bear!" and leaves the binoculars, grabs his weapon, and sounds the alarm at his post. Taking three out of the five soldiers from his post and starts to rush towards the location where the child is, firing a shot into the air every hundred meters, alternating between sprints and fast running.”
“At the halfway point, the sergeant sees that the bear catches up to the little girl and claws at her from behind. Then, a horrifying scream pierces through the air.”
“When the gendermaries arrive, the girl lies face down, covered in blood in the snowy mud. She appears to be weakened from the injury and the running while a very aggressive brown bear has bitten her ankle and is shaking its head like a crocodile, trying to tear it off. The girl is also being thrown around in the mud with the force of the bear's shaking. The sergeant quickly realizes the life-threatening danger, shoots the bear with great marksmanship and immediately calls for help on his radio. Fortunately, the gendarmerie vehicle is on patrol nearby and quickly arrives at the scene with its sirens. The sergeant slings his rifle across his back and lifts the girl onto his right shoulder, then starts running towards the main road. Displaying the true valor of a Sordish soldier with a blue beret, he manages to run at a steady pace with the heavily wounded girl on his shoulder for eight minutes uphill, finally reaching the gendarmerie patrol vehicle. He places the girl on the vehicle's floor and jumps inside himself and without even turning off the sirens, they rush towards the state hospital. It should be noted that despite losing a significant amount of blood, the young girl remains conscious. Along the way, the gendarmes try to talk to her, keeping her awake. She says her name is Cassie.”
“Why was the girl there at that time? She thought she could take a shortcut through the forest to the village road and sing a couple more Bludish folk songs before it gets dark. Little did she realize that she would encounter a bear on her way.”
“Upon reaching the emergency room, while the first aid is being administered, Cassie asks for her "big soldier brother" since she is scared of the nurses and doctors. The sergeant, covered in blood and dirt, holding his rifle, takes a seat next to her and tries to comfort her. Meanwhile, the doctors intervene in the open wound. It should be noted again that Cassie has a broken left fibula, multiple abrasions and contusions, her clothes are torn to shreds, and her back is completely exposed. Deep scars, around 45-50 centimeters long can be seen extending from her right scapula to her left kidney. Additionally, there is a severe injury on her ankle. Even though a bear's strike to the back often results in a fatal outcome, she somehow hangs on to life.
“Later, we heard that the girl received a total of 121 stitches. She's doing well and recovering. The entire district gendarmerie is laughing all day because a girl's life was saved. The local Bludish population started calling the sergeant as ‘Ayıboğan’, which refers to the strength of a bear in the local dialect.”
“Every time when I read propaganda posters distributed by BFF that the Gendarmerie and Sordish Armed Forces is a tool fed by the fascist Sollists to silence and enslave the Bludish people, I always think of the sergeant major who left his position and equipment behind and ran an absolute marathon to save the girl's life. Then a question keeps revolving in my mind. What is Sordish Armed Forces and the Gendarmerie truly protects? Just a post, a position with sandbags and heavy weaponry or children like Cassie?”
General Roberts replied, “Children, of course.” all of the table seemed to be agreeing with him, maybe except a few officers. He continued, “What happened to the Sergeant Major?”
Mark replied, “I've given Sergeant Major a commendation for leaving his post in line of duty, a post which he must protect with his life. Because he left his post in order to protect a child, even Bludish, a citizen of this Republic.”
The atmosphere around the table grew more solemn as each general shared their own stories, some glorious, some heart wrenching and some with dilemmas. The clinking of glasses and the distant melodies from the ballroom provided a stark contrast to the weight of their memories.
General Roberts, attempting to lighten the mood, raised his glass and said, "To our fallen comrades and to the unwavering spirit of the men and women who have fought for our Republic!"
The other generals raised their glasses in unison, echoing his sentiment. Mark's eyes met with the others, and in that moment, they understood the gravity of their roles as leaders and the importance of preserving the legacy of those who had fought and sacrificed before them.
As the night continued, the conversation shifted towards lighter topics, interspersed with moments of laughter and camaraderie. They shared stories of triumphs and defeats, of bonds forged in the crucible of combat, and the collective sense of purpose that bound them together.
In that moment, amidst the military ball and the company of fellow generals, Mark found solace and inspiration. He knew that regardless of the challenges ahead, he stood shoulder to shoulder with comrades who shared his commitment and determination to protect the Republic…

Sorry if there are spelling errors, I’m on mobile and I’m crying without my glasses on, so I can’t see well.
I’ve had bladder problems from birth. I don’t have any receptors around my bladder and my ureters don’t work properly. I learned this from a hospital when I was younger since I was still peeing in the bed at 8 years old. Eventually my body found a way around the lack of receptors and now if I have to pee, my stomach hurts from the pressure. Even though that occurs, I still need to rush to pee immediately. Either I have to pull over (freeways generally), find the nearest store, etc. I had good control when I needed to pee since middle school though.
Recently I’ve not been able to tell again, and 3 times this month, I’ve already peed in the passenger seat of my husbands car. It’s so embarrassing and I can’t help to think I’m more of a burden than anything. Even though I take antidepressants (bupropion, 1 pill 2x daily, 100mg), I feel like this had really taken over my life again. I’m already dealing with physical and now mental health, I can’t have things piling on my plate. Peeing in the car tonight was my breaking point.
Doctors of Reddit, what can I do?

My HF doctor told me I could have one glass of wine per year--yikes! I've read on several sites (e.g., Mayo, NIH) that coffee will most likely NOT trigger afib but alcohol can. Anyone care to share experiences with wine, beer etc. and whether it caused problems with your HF? I'm 68 and had a quad bypass back in 2021, I'm currently on Amiodarone and switching to Sotalol in a few months. Also switched from Lisinopril to Entresto last February and I'm feeling so much better. I certainly don't need alcohol but I would enjoy a glass of wine with meals when I'm out.
EDIT: Thanks for all the stories!

In the last episode, we saw Dr. Logan Wright meet quite the colorful cast of individuals. From WWE superstar Logan Paul to the beautiful bird known as Logan Flight, the Symposium of the Logang was certainly a fascinating place to be. And now, with IWF superstar “Lumberjack” Logan Lawrence motivating him to stop being so passive, FBE’s Resident Doctor looks to be on the Wright path towards becoming the most focused man he can… without the distractions of his demons…
​
​
​
Blitz XX: Paddy Murphy vs. Dr. Logan Wright
We’ve reached the ten minute mark of this match, and after Paddy drills the Doctor with a To Cork and Back, he starts rising to his feet. However, from the outside, we hear Sensei trying to drill something into his student:
​
“Paddy-san… Rememberuhhh… Target the headuhhhh…”
​
With that last piece of advice resonating in his own head, Paddy starts getting ready for perhaps the final sequence of the match, a Give It Some Welly ready to be hit. However, Logan also happened to hear the wisdom from Sensei, dodging the big boot to the face. He gets behind Murphy, quickly dropping him with a Relax and Eat Some (German) Soup-lex. Instead of going for another move however, Wright’s gaze shifts to the outside. He exits the ring, staring a dagger through Sensei:
​
“Why exactly did you tell him to target my head?”
​
Sensei backs up a bit, but as he does so, a crumpled up piece of paper he was holding falls to the floor. He tries to pick it back up, but Wright beats him to it, revealing it to be…the stolen medical form from his office… the information regarding his head pains. Wright looks at the paper, a calm expression on his face initially, but slowly, he loses his cool. His hands ball up into fists, his face turns a bit red…and he mouths to Sensei:
​
“You shouldn’t have taken that.”
​
Wright gets back into the ring, and though Paddy has risen to his feet by this point, Logan drops him with the Whiplash sling blade. FBE’s Resident Doctor stares at his currently downed opponent, and realizes it’s time for a medical procedure…how about a Facial Reconstruction! Wright begins stomping on Paddy’s face, knocking him unconscious, before finally putting an end to the assault with the PDF Kamigoye.
​
Dr. Logan Wright def. Paddy Murphy via pinfall
​
As the ref raises Dr. Logan Wright’s hand, the crowd begins…booing? Wright looks around, confused at the negative reaction. I didn’t cheat, I just found a way to win the match. I didn’t do anything wrong… did I? As he heads into the backstage area, he’s quickly approached by a young-looking intern, a microphone in his hand:
Reporter: “Hello, my name is Ryan St. Brown, and I’m with the-”
Logan Wright: “Hang on, your last name is St. Brown? Are you related to Amon-Ra by chance?
Reporter: “No relation.”
Logan Wright: “That’s disappointing. But go ahead, ask your question.”
Reporter: “We just saw you pick up a strong victory over one of FBE’s fan favorites in Paddy Murphy. However, at the end of the match, you clearly looked more agitated than usual, and some would say you used more force than was needed to win-”
Logan Wright: “Are you one of the people saying that?”
Reporter: “Well, I…uh…”
Logan Wright: “Look, I like Paddy and Sensei. But at the same time, they took privileged medical information from me. Sure, maybe I shouldn’t have used that PDF at the end…but should I regret using one of my standard maneuvers to win a match? No, and I don’t. Next question.”
Reporter: “Ok, fair enough. You’re doing well in the Shining Light League right now, and I have to ask: if you were to win the whole thing, who would you challenge?
Logan Wright: “I don’t like dealing with hypotheticals. I much prefer diagnosing current problems with all the information at my disposal. So I’m not answering that.”
Reporter (muttering): “Man, you’re a lot more boring in person than I thought you would be. Your answers suck.”
This comment draws the ire of Wright, who moves closer towards the reporter.
Reporter: “What? Prove me wrong. Give me a message that’s actually worthwhile, and I’ll be more than happy to rescind that comment.”
Logan Wright: “I know you’re just looking for a soundbite to try and further your career, but you’ve got my attention. Ask away.”
Reporter: “Are you the best pure rules competitor in FBE?”
Logan Wright: “You’re damn right I am. They call Inferno Baba Blitz? They ought to call me Da-Da Blitz, because all these wrestlers gunning for my title… THEY’RE CHILDREN COMPARED TO ME!”
The reporter gives a sly smirk as he walks away, having gotten what he needed. Meanwhile, Wright finds a nearby chair to sit on, putting his head down. However, his moment of silence is soon interrupted by a familiar voice:
Jared Gallagher: “Weird night for you, eh?”
Wright looks up to see his once-cameraman and friend moving towards him. However, with the doctor’s tumultuous year, their relationship became more strained, not having spoken for a while…until now.
Logan Wright: “That’s one way of putting it.”
There’s a bit of an awkward silence for a few moments, as neither man initially wants to speak. Eventually though, Gallagher gains his composure:
Jared Gallagher: “Look, I know you probably don’t wanna speak to me-”
Logan Wright: “Then maybe you should stop talking.”
Jared Gallagher: “Ok fine, but let me ask you something first: what were you doing with that last remark to the reporter? It wasn’t as cool as it likely sounded in your head.”
Logan Wright: “I was doing a play on words, what’s confusing about it?”
Jared Gallagher: “Yeah, but you do realize “Baba” translates to “father” too? So instead of being clever, you were essentially just rehashing Inferno’s nickname.”
Logan Wright: “Fuck.”
Jared Gallagher: “Forget about that though, I wanted to talk to you about something else. I heard from a little birdie that you were taking advice from Logan Lawrence.”
Logan Wright: “Logan Flight ratted on me? I knew he couldn’t be trusted.”
Jared Gallagher: “That’s not the birdie I meant…you know what, forget it. I just want you to understand that being overly aggressive isn’t the key to success. You’ve already been good up to this point, don’t lose your true self by being more of a jackass.”
Logan Wright: “Yeah, being good is fine…but I don’t wanna just be “good” anymore. I wanna be great. I want to prove myself as the pillar of something, and pure rules is the best chance I have at that. But relax, I don’t wanna just be an asshole for the sake of being one either.”
Jared Gallagher: “Ok, that’s fine. But if you want to improve… What's your next move? Gonna do some training with the rest of the Ark? Maybe ask your medical colleagues for some more dieting tips?
Logan briefly thinks about the suggestions, before he remembers something that Sensei told him…
Logan Wright: “No, I have a better idea… I’m going to Nepal.”
And with that, Dr. Wright starts heading towards the exit, a smile on his face, while Jared Gallagher is just left confused. He never even said why he was going there, what in the world is he doing…
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One Week Before Unbreakable V: Kathmandu, Nepal
After a long trip, Logan Wright has finally made it into the heart of the Himalayan Mountains. He gets out of the car, paying and thanking the driver who escorted him from the airport to get to this point. He reaches into his pocket, grabbing the “business” card that led him to this location. He stares at it for a few moments, glancing up and down to make sure he’s in the right place. Yep, this is the one…
In front of Dr. Wright stands a worn-down house. It's small, with what looks to be only one story, and the white color is wearing away like the wooden beams supporting it. There’s a window near the front door, but a set of blinds are covering it up. As Logan approaches the entry-way, he smells a distinct odor of soup. Taking a breath, he knocks on the door. As he does so, a crash of glass can be heard on the other side, and there’s some momentary yelling before a tired-looking individual opens the door.
???: “May I help you?”
Logan Wright: “Hello, my name is Logan Wright. I’ve been informed that an incredibly wise teacher of medicine and healing resides here…”
???: “You’re correct, but he’s not seeing anyone today. Come back another time…”
Logan Wright: “Wait, I really need this. And I think I know one of his friends, they pointed this place out to me.”
???: “What’s the name of this friend?”
Logan Wright: “He’s known as Sensei-”
“LETT HYMN INN!”
This yelling from inside the house startles Wright, and the man at the doorway sighs, motioning for Logan to come in. As the doctor does so, he glances around the house, immediately noticing the kitchen area. Sitting at a table there is an older gentleman, with a pair of glasses on and a cane at his side, Logan quickly realizing he’s blind. The man from the doorway points for Logan to sit down with him, and Wright obliges, positioning himself in the chair next to the old individual.
Logan Wright: “Hello sir, it’s a pleasure to meet-”
???: “HALLO! IHT IST VAIRY GNEISS TWO MEAT YU! MI NEIGHME IST BLOGAN BITE!”
Wright briefly cringes at the yelling of the individual, looking back with a confused look on his face to the figure near the door. He notices a nametag on the figure he hadn’t seen before, reading “Bibek”.
Bibek: “Yeah, don’t worry about that. He’s blind and almost deaf, he needs to speak loudly to make himself sure he’s actually talking. Oh, and he said, “Hello, it is very nice to meet you. My name is Blogan Bite.”
Logan Wright: “Wait, why are you translating for him? He’s speaking directly to me, I know what he’s saying.”
Bibek: “Oh, just so the readers of this episode actually have a clue as to what’s going on.”
Logan Wright: “Wait what readers… oh, we’re doing another fourth wall break, gotcha.”
Blogan Bite: “Y HOV U CUHMM HEAR?”
Bibek: (“Why have you come here?”)
Logan Wright: “I’m looking for some advice. For a while now, I’ve felt an inner conflict in my emotional state and my moral compass. I want to be more aggressive, to try and be the best…but I don’t want to abandon the roots of my existence that helped shape me into who I am. Do you have any advice?”
Blogan Bite: “HYMMMMMM…. A TUFF PRAHBLIM INN DEED!”
Bibek: (“Hmmm… A tough problem indeed.”)
Suddenly, Blogan reaches towards his side, reaching into a bag. He shakes it around for a bit, before pulling out something from inside. He triumphantly slams it onto the table, before pushing it towards Dr. Wright. Logan looks at it for a few moments, an incredulous look on his face.
Logan Wright: “Why exactly are you… what is… what do you expect me to do with a copy of Fire and Ice by Robert Frost?
Blogan Bite: “HEE IST UHHH GRATE POE EHT! TAKEUHHH INN SPUR AYE SHUN FROMM HYMM!”
Bibek: (“He is a great poet. Take inspiration from him.”)
Logan Wright: “So… let me get this straight: your solution to my problem is…writing fucking poetry?”
Blogan Bite: “WASH YUR LANGWAGEE JUNG MANN! POEHHH TREE IST UHHH BEUTUHFULL THYNG!”
Bibek: (“Watch your language young man. Poetry is a beautiful thing.”)
Logan Wright: “Yeah but…surely there’s something that’s more suitable for my situation?”
Blogan Bite: “EYE ARM UHHH FRAYED KNOT! TEH BAHG HAHS SPOKANE!”
Bibek: (“I am afraid not. The bag has spoken.”)
Logan Wright: “Wait, do you just reach in the bag and randomly pull out an object for everyone that comes in?”
Blogan Bite: “OFF COORS! WATT ELSUHHH WOOD EYE DOO?”
Bibek: (“Of course. What else would I do?”)
Logan Wright: “Ok, I think we’re done here. Thank you for this… attempt at a recommendation. You’re truly one of the people I’ve ever met.”
As Logan gets up, Blogan extends a hand. Reluctantly, Wright shakes it, before heading to the doorway, acknowledging Bibek, and leaving the worn-down house. As he heads towards the street, he’s just left to ponder what transpired. That was dumb… traveling thousands of miles instead of just doing training was rather pointless. But as he gets in the car, ready to go back to the airport, another set of thoughts come over him. You know what…maybe I can make the best out of this situation…maybe writing poetry actually can do me some good…
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Day Before Unbreakable V: Dr. Wright’s Office
With just 24 hours until Unbreakable, Jared Gallagher and Charles Crandall figure Wright is busy with training, or if nothing else, his medical work. However, they’re surprised to receive an invite to his office, and though Gallagher tries to ask him what it’s about, he gets no answer. It frustrates him, but he figures it must be important, so after grabbing a quick bite with Charles, they head over to the office. By this point in time, Crandall is fairly quiet, his eyes becoming increasingly purple for longer periods of time and Wrogan slowly and quietly influencing his personality, but the time to reveal that isn’t here…yet.
When they reach the hall outside the office, they’re surprised to see Logan standing in the doorway, a smile on his face. He invites them in, even having an assortment of pastries and desserts on the table for his friends to snack on. While Jared is quick to grab a danish, he’s also quick to raise eyebrows at this behavior.
Jared Gallagher: “Logan, what is all this for? This feels…too nice…
Logan Wright: “What, a man can’t just happen to invite his friends over for some delicious treats?”
Jared Gallagher: “You’re not fooling anyone man, just tell us why we’re here.”
Logan Wright: “Ok fine, you got me. The reason you’re here today… I wanted you to be the first screenings of my first-ever poem!”
Though Crandall is wearing sunglasses, he and Gallagher are quick to shoot each other a glance of confusion.
Jared Gallagher: “What?”
Logan Wright: “That’s right, when I went to Nepal, the man I met recommended I write poetry to ease my tensions and help me become a better person. I thought he was insane, but as I started to write, I realized…he may be right!”
Jared Gallagher: “That’s…but…I’m so confused. You didn’t even get any real training or medicinal techniques? You just got…told to write? What even is your topic?”
Logan Wright: “I’m glad you asked, old chum! I’ve entitled this poem…
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An Ode To Jay…
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In the garden lived a bird
Who truly loved to sing
It was a beautiful mockingjay
And through the air, its voice did ring
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The bird was beloved
And believed to be a Hero
But little did the world know
Of its painful little ego
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This bird fought and fought
It did everything to grow
But when abandoned by friends
It was a true low blow
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Once upon a time, the group was
United, and forever in-sync
But when the Jay hit the bottle
Oh, did their PROSPECTS ever so sink
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And the bird has recovered
It has regained its feathers
But little does the jay know
Of the impending, harsh weathers
​
For the jay may spread its wings
And fly in the dark
But it doesn’t know
Of its impending, dangerous arc
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This bird will fly, and
It truly wants to win
But the true challenge is here
For the Doctor is in!
​
As Wright finishes his last line, his theatrical reading of the lines now finished, he finally turns towards his faithful audience. He’s met with a blank look from Charles Crandall, the sunglasses still firmly covering his eyes. And Jared… his mouth is agape, trying to process what he just heard.
Logan Wright: “So… what did you think?”
Jared Gallagher: “I… what… how… why… I don’t know what to say.”
Logan Wright: “You can show your appreciation by clapping, I worked really hard on that.”
Jared Gallagher: “I could… but let me get this straight… This is how you’re handling your upcoming rematch with Jay? Making a poem that only we’ve listened to, and not trying to find a way to, I don’t know, not finish the match in a time-limit draw?”
Logan Wright: “Forget about that, tell me if I should improve the language I used and how the poem flowed together. I could probably stand to write a poem for the tag team title match as well.”
Jared Gallagher: “Logan, Logan, Logan… Ok, if you want to live in this strange world of yours, go ahead. The poem was fine, but you weren’t exactly subtle with it, especially at the end. Like I get you want to beat Jay, and I know you were mad with what he said about you in the past…but really, finishing the entire thing about the Doctor being in? That doesn’t even make sense with the vibe you established.”
Logan Wright: “Fair critique, I’ll keep that in mind when I continue writing these.”
Jared Gallagher: “Come on man, it’s cool that you have a hobby, but I know just how much you cared about wrestling. Please, just step away from the paper and train while you still have a little bit of time left before tomorrow. I know we’re not as close as we once were…but if nothing else, do it for the rest of the Ark. Do it out of spite against Wrogan. Do it to prove that you’re not completely crazy, and that you deserve to be where you are in life.”
It’s with this line that something seems to click in Logan’s head. He looks towards Jared, nodding his head, and he moves towards his desk. He stares at all the notes and rough drafts he had been working on for his writings, a frown coming over his face.
Logan Wright: “I wish I was normal… I wish I didn’t go through these personality changes every other day. You’re right Jared…You’ve always been right. Wrestling needs to come first, and I have everything I need to stay energized. I don’t want to be passive, I don’t want to be aggressive…I just want to live. And tomorrow…things are going to get fun.”
Gallagher smiles at Wright being reinvigorated, and the pair share a quick hug. Upon Jared and Charles leaving, Dr. Wright takes a quick look in his mirror, and smiles at the expression of confidence now piercing through his eyes. He grabs his coat, turns off the light, and so begins a long and tedious night at the gym…
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Night of Death Before Impurity:
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Pre-Match Process
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The Finals are here… and Logan Wright is in them. After weeks leading-into months of this Shining Light League Tournament running center-stage on Blitz, the Doctor has gotten to where he wanted to be…where he needed to be. As he sits in the locker room, getting himself mentally prepared for the tall task that comes with facing DTJ’s Hunter Maguire, he sees in his peripheral vision someone entering the room. He glances up, smiling to see Jared coming to visit.
Jared Gallagher: “Hey champ, how we feeling about tonight?”
Logan Wright: “Whatever happens tonight…well, what I know will happen tonight… is PURE-ly destiny.”
Jared Gallagher: “Not your best joke, but glad to see you’ve been in positive spirits recently.”
Logan Wright: “Yep, tonight has to be the moment where everything pays off…it just has to…”
Jared Gallagher: “It will… I believe in you. And if you don’t mind me asking…who would you want to face at P.U.R.E. if things go your way?”
Logan Wright: “You know I can’t answer that right now, I have to get the job done first.”
Jared Gallagher: “Fair enough, fair enough. I should be heading off…go get em’, champ.”
With that, Gallagher leaves the room, and Wright rises to his feet. He looks at his arms, then his legs, then finds the mirror. He stares into his soul…Come on out Doctor…It’s operation time…
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Post-Match Press Conference
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Dr. Logan Wright did it.
As he’s now backstage, being greeted with a bottle of champagne that was ordered for him, Logan is still trying to ponder what just took place out there. From the match itself… to the seconds after the match realizing he won… to the return of the legend Petite Jupiter, handing him the trophy…
It’s all absolutely surreal, and Logan is at a loss for words. However, as he gets word that reporters are waiting to get a word from him, he quickly gathers his composure. He takes a big swig from the champagne bottle, before heading into the room, waving to the assortment of familiar and different faces. He moves towards the stage, taking a seat and getting the mic setup, ready to hear questions.
Reporter #1: “That was a hell of a match you had, Dr. Wright. What’s going through your head right now?”
Logan Wright: “Honestly, half of it is just my brain screaming and the other half is random gibberish. I can’t fully process either, but when I feel this way… I’m fucking pumped. But I do wanna quickly say… I respect you Hunter, I really do. You’ve been a tough opponent twice now… but that’s all the positives I can really say right now. Fuck DTJ.”
Reporter #2: “We just witnessed the return of Petite Jupiter, and the fans certainly loved it. But what did you think about it? Did you feel as though he was stealing your thunder by returning immediately after your big moment?”
Logan Wright: “Look, I know you’re looking for a soundbite, and I caved in several weeks ago to that one reporter. I’m not gonna do that here though. I faced Petite Jupiter in 2021, and I know just how good he is. He deserved to get that electric crowd reaction, and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to hand me the beautiful Shining Light League trophy.”
Reporter #3: “But now Dr. Wright, I think we all have a question on our minds. In addition to that trophy, you have the chance to pick your challenger for P.U.R.E, and that’s a lot of power. So if you can tell us…who are you gonna be facing?
Logan smiles at the question, fully expecting it to have been asked. He glances around the room, noticing Kaze Tanaka, Code Blue, Cactus Mike, and Jared Gallagher all standing at the back. He nods at them, before getting the mic, ready to make the announcement:
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Logan Wright:
“In my time in FBE, there have been times where I’ve felt…insecure. Insecure about my talent, insecure about if people actually liked me or not, and insecure about my failures especially. But 2023… let’s just say it’s been a great Spring of Stethoscopes so far. You all know I’ve held the Pure Championship for about four months now, and I’ve faced my fair share of great individuals. But this second title run… it’s missing something. My past, in particular my 2021, was riddled with failures against veterans of this company. Losses to Inferno, to Nate Matthews, to Petite Jupiter… wins were hard to come by. I turned things around in 2022, but even then, my 1st Pure Title reign came to an end at the hands of FBE’s Resident Bastard. It feels like it’s just inevitable, and a running gag…
…But nowadays, I look at myself differently. Other people look at me differently. I’ve grown into what I wanted to be, what I hoped I would be… hell, I’ve even been dubbed as being somewhat of a “Final Boss.” I don’t want to get too egotistical, but not having lost since January… man, the ship I’m on, that being the Ark of course, is on a perfect path. But sometimes, it’s better to go for a different path, a path that stands out…to maybe make history…
So with that, this decision has drifted in my mind, and I’ve weighed all my options carefully. I’ve considered juniors and heavyweights. I’ve considered people from my past or completely fresh opponents. I’ve considered people who would die to win the Pure Championship, or even those who have disrespected it, to show them what it’s all about. But after a while, something finally clicked in my head. I’ve tried to forget that previously mentioned “can never beat a veteran legend” stigma, but until I get a decisive win, it’ll always float right alongside the ocean that contains my thoughts and dreams. So I will be challenging a long-time competitor of FBE, a man who has wrestled here for many years…
But the question of who was certainly a fascinating one…for about a minute. For once this name came to me, it never escaped. This man has held his share of championship gold, This man knows a thing or two about being dubbed a “Final Boss.” And this man has quite the past experience against the Ark… except with me. And to this man, I officially extend the challenge…if he's willing to accept it...
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The stage is set…the main event of P.U.R.E…for the FBE Pure Championship…The match you reporters and all the worldwide fans of FBE will get to witness is…
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Doctor Logan Wright vs. Apeirogone