Sally face fanart
Sally Face
2017.07.24 23:03 SteveGabry Sally Face
Talk with fellow fans, share theories, artwork, cosplay, thoughts, etc. for Sally Face! A dark adventure game series following a boy with a prosthetic face and a tragic past.
2021.07.07 20:28 ____Larry_Face____ SallyFaceBR
Eae fã de Sally Face! Entra ai e siga as regras: Regras do Reddit Não faça Spam. Não peça votos ou participe de manipulação de votos. Não poste informação pessoal. Nada de pornografia infantil ou conteúdo sexualmente sugestivo envolvendo menores. Não quebre o site ou faça qualquer coisa que interfira com o funcionamento padrão do site.
2018.11.06 17:55 kinoppix Subreddit LubaTV
Sub fechado temporariamente.
2023.05.31 15:14 JinSha_ Sally Face Fan Art💙
 | submitted by JinSha_ to sallyface [link] [comments] |
2023.05.31 15:06 JinSha_ Sally Face Fan Art 💙
 | submitted by JinSha_ to sallyface [link] [comments] |
2023.05.31 13:00 NoxInDiem Gripes with the ending (slight Spoilers)
I didn't like the ending. The show is called "Barry," but almost nothing he did after escaping prison in episode 4 felt like it had any impact on the plot, besides maybe mentioning that he gave Gene the money. I think a couple of tweaks in the last episode could've fixed it: I would've had Fuches fail to save Sally & the kid after the comedy shootout & die in the lobby finally apologizing to Barry. Then Hank could go out after challenging/admitting to Barry about how people like them only hurt the ones around them to save themselves. Then, instead of waking up in the hotel room, Sally could wake up with Barry outside of Gene's house. The same diologue as in the bed. Barry Goes in the house & Sally freezes like she always does but shakes it off, picking up her phone. Barry creeps around the house & Sally runs in to stop him. He knocks her over, & she finally confronts him about how abusive their relationship has been. Barry faces himself & tells her that the assassin she killed was meant for him, that it's not her fault & he'll turn himself in. Same thing with Mr. Cousineau suddenly finishing Barry from off screen before sitting down, except cop lights start stageplay flashing. Sally's taken a stand & already called the cops. Same applause, school play, overly Hollywood biopic epilogue. Idk, this way it'd feel like things were happening more because of choices Barry/Sally made & less like things are just happening & Sally is running away to showbiz at the detriment to her personal life (ignoring the son). I read in a book once that the plot should mainly be driven by the protagonist. When it's just the side characters like Papa Moss, Fuches, & Gene taking center stage & driving the outcome, the story kinda falls flat as there's less of a connection btw story & the most major char arc; things are just happening to the protagonist instead of the protagonist causing something & having to change. Kinda like what happened with the new India Jones or Peter Pan. Also, side note, who attacked Sally & John after Barry left? Is it just me or did that go nowhere?
submitted by NoxInDiem to Barry [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 12:03 maximusaemilius Alien reacts to humans keeping pets.
Am I allowed to make a complaint!?
No no, I am not asking…
I was simply warning you that I am going to complain in a very roundabout way.
I don't really care whether you want me to complain or not. I am simply angry at how everything humans do seems to be a direct attempt to make me angry, or scare me half to death. I honestly think it is on purpose, a species cannot feasibly be this reckless if that were not the case. I mean, they bring apex predators into their beds for Sanctum's sake!!!
Here, here let me explain.
The Dog: It basically is just a fucking wolf. Yeah, once upon a time humans cuddled up to the most cunning pack predator in the world and thought it would be fun to bring them inside, and for it to around their kids. I mean are you kidding me!? This creature can grow to over one hundred pounds and has razor sharp K-9 teeth that can rip your throat out. It has a nose that can smell the adrenaline excretions... It can flipping smell fear. In fact, humans say that this creature is domesticated, but may I point out to you that dogs are responsible for killing people all across the world. It's a predator, it wants to eat your face! And before you go saying, well that is only big dogs, the little dogs are worse! They are big killers trapped inside a tiny body and that makes them neurotic and angry and way more willing to just go ahead and chomp your finger right off. And humans LOVE these creatures, they love them. They will dress them up in little sweaters and little shoes, and they will coo over them constantly. It is HORRIFIC. They even give them to disabled people, some of the most vulnerable of their species, and they just hand them an apex predator like it's no big deal!... I'm getting worked up, aren't I?
The cat: So basically, a tiny tiger that still has all the instincts of a big tiger. If it were bigger, it would definitely kill you. Now, luckily for us, the domesticated ones only come in one size, and that size is rather small (for the most part) because if these suckers were big, they would be like tigers or pumas, and they would be more than willing to rip our face off. What is worse, at least with dogs you can argue that they are well tempered and loving, but cats? They hate you, they are using you and they know it, you know it, everyone knows it. They will come up to you to be petted and instead of walking away like a normal creature when they are done, they will just claw you, just claw you no explanation, no apology just claws. And what is WORSE is the people who own cats are even more delusional than the ones that own dogs, because I bet you there is a human reading this right now that says “well my cat is nice”, or another human that thinks “well yeah my cat does this sometimes, but he/she's so cute and I love them anyway”, so there... Humans are blinded by their need to touch and hold fuzzy things.
Horses: Ok, I know this one does not go inside, but hear me out on this one… It is a giant frigging deer-thing that comes in as many sizes as dogs do, and one day some a-hole human decided to hop on one's back and go riding into the sunset, never mind that this thing could kick you into a state of internal hemorrhaging even I would balk at. It is too big to put it away and so you have to let it roam free, but no, instead humans decided to ride it.
Rabbit: Shouldn't you be eating these things? Also, they have clawed back feet, and sometimes they bite. Why do you want one so badly?
Rats: It's a fucking rat!? Like boubonic plague! Is any of that ringing a bell? This thing is literally vermin, its job is to carry diseases and be nasty, and you want to keep one in your child's bedroom!?
Guinea pigs/gerbils/mice: See rats above, I am just saying these things are tiny rats and their job is to carry diseases. It is gross so don't touch them.
Birds: Again, with the disease thing. These guys are flying rats. Ok I get it, humans love cute things that can make noise and talk, but these guys are super loud and expensive to take care of. Just do yourself a solid and let it go, it belongs out in the wild where it can be annoying outside and not inside.
Lizards: I mean ok... Pretty sure these carry diseases too. Also, they will never love you and they are very expensive to keep.
Snake: It's a fucking snake! One of humanities the worst fears, and you WANT one!? This thing has haunted the nightmares of your people for the past couple thousand years, and you want to cuddle it? Plus, you have to feed it dead mice! Some of you have a snake so big that it is capable of swallowing medium-sized animals whole. This is literally the definition of a predator, some of them are even venomous. Why- why-why-why-why do you have one!? WHY DO YOU HAVE A SNAKE!!!??? THE MIND BOGGLES! NO “DANGER NOODLES” ARE NOT CUTE!!!!
Tarantula: Fucking hell! *slamming noises* You guys are just fucking with me now right? Right? Just straight fucking with me. This isn't serious. It can’t be… Like we have come all this way, just for me to learn about this shit. This isn't real, it cannot be real because that would mean that you guys are way stupider than I thought you were... I mean... I can't... Nope I am done I can’t... I draw the line at big ass spiders.
Why hasn't god terminated your species yet!?
Surely natural selection would not encourage you to actively seek out creatures that can kill and eat you…
Why, why, why are you still getting bigger!? Why are you thriving!? Why am I here with you, why did I decide to leave the safety of my own planet!?
*incoherent screaming*
"Why is the human need to touch other living things so damn strong!. What biological purpose is this!?”
”Rrrrrrrraaaaaaaaahahhhhhhh!!!”
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
submitted by maximusaemilius to humansarespaceorcs [link] [comments]
No no, I am not asking…
I was simply warning you that I am going to complain in a very roundabout way.
I don't really care whether you want me to complain or not. I am simply angry at how everything humans do seems to be a direct attempt to make me angry, or scare me half to death. I honestly think it is on purpose, a species cannot feasibly be this reckless if that were not the case. I mean, they bring apex predators into their beds for Sanctum's sake!!!
Here, here let me explain.
The Dog: It basically is just a fucking wolf. Yeah, once upon a time humans cuddled up to the most cunning pack predator in the world and thought it would be fun to bring them inside, and for it to around their kids. I mean are you kidding me!? This creature can grow to over one hundred pounds and has razor sharp K-9 teeth that can rip your throat out. It has a nose that can smell the adrenaline excretions... It can flipping smell fear. In fact, humans say that this creature is domesticated, but may I point out to you that dogs are responsible for killing people all across the world. It's a predator, it wants to eat your face! And before you go saying, well that is only big dogs, the little dogs are worse! They are big killers trapped inside a tiny body and that makes them neurotic and angry and way more willing to just go ahead and chomp your finger right off. And humans LOVE these creatures, they love them. They will dress them up in little sweaters and little shoes, and they will coo over them constantly. It is HORRIFIC. They even give them to disabled people, some of the most vulnerable of their species, and they just hand them an apex predator like it's no big deal!... I'm getting worked up, aren't I?
The cat: So basically, a tiny tiger that still has all the instincts of a big tiger. If it were bigger, it would definitely kill you. Now, luckily for us, the domesticated ones only come in one size, and that size is rather small (for the most part) because if these suckers were big, they would be like tigers or pumas, and they would be more than willing to rip our face off. What is worse, at least with dogs you can argue that they are well tempered and loving, but cats? They hate you, they are using you and they know it, you know it, everyone knows it. They will come up to you to be petted and instead of walking away like a normal creature when they are done, they will just claw you, just claw you no explanation, no apology just claws. And what is WORSE is the people who own cats are even more delusional than the ones that own dogs, because I bet you there is a human reading this right now that says “well my cat is nice”, or another human that thinks “well yeah my cat does this sometimes, but he/she's so cute and I love them anyway”, so there... Humans are blinded by their need to touch and hold fuzzy things.
Horses: Ok, I know this one does not go inside, but hear me out on this one… It is a giant frigging deer-thing that comes in as many sizes as dogs do, and one day some a-hole human decided to hop on one's back and go riding into the sunset, never mind that this thing could kick you into a state of internal hemorrhaging even I would balk at. It is too big to put it away and so you have to let it roam free, but no, instead humans decided to ride it.
Rabbit: Shouldn't you be eating these things? Also, they have clawed back feet, and sometimes they bite. Why do you want one so badly?
Rats: It's a fucking rat!? Like boubonic plague! Is any of that ringing a bell? This thing is literally vermin, its job is to carry diseases and be nasty, and you want to keep one in your child's bedroom!?
Guinea pigs/gerbils/mice: See rats above, I am just saying these things are tiny rats and their job is to carry diseases. It is gross so don't touch them.
Birds: Again, with the disease thing. These guys are flying rats. Ok I get it, humans love cute things that can make noise and talk, but these guys are super loud and expensive to take care of. Just do yourself a solid and let it go, it belongs out in the wild where it can be annoying outside and not inside.
Lizards: I mean ok... Pretty sure these carry diseases too. Also, they will never love you and they are very expensive to keep.
Snake: It's a fucking snake! One of humanities the worst fears, and you WANT one!? This thing has haunted the nightmares of your people for the past couple thousand years, and you want to cuddle it? Plus, you have to feed it dead mice! Some of you have a snake so big that it is capable of swallowing medium-sized animals whole. This is literally the definition of a predator, some of them are even venomous. Why- why-why-why-why do you have one!? WHY DO YOU HAVE A SNAKE!!!??? THE MIND BOGGLES! NO “DANGER NOODLES” ARE NOT CUTE!!!!
Tarantula: Fucking hell! *slamming noises* You guys are just fucking with me now right? Right? Just straight fucking with me. This isn't serious. It can’t be… Like we have come all this way, just for me to learn about this shit. This isn't real, it cannot be real because that would mean that you guys are way stupider than I thought you were... I mean... I can't... Nope I am done I can’t... I draw the line at big ass spiders.
Why hasn't god terminated your species yet!?
Surely natural selection would not encourage you to actively seek out creatures that can kill and eat you…
Why, why, why are you still getting bigger!? Why are you thriving!? Why am I here with you, why did I decide to leave the safety of my own planet!?
*incoherent screaming*
"Why is the human need to touch other living things so damn strong!. What biological purpose is this!?”
”Rrrrrrrraaaaaaaaahahhhhhhh!!!”
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
2023.05.31 12:00 maximusaemilius Empyrean Iris: 2-11: Keeping pets (by Charlie Star)
FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Pets are cute! I thought we went over this already Krill?
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
From the Journal of Biology and Medicine
This research focuses primarily on the ability of the human to interact and bond with different types of species. All over the galaxy it has been seen that humans have the ability to interact with and understand different species around them in ways that are meaningful for both parties. However, a different and more interesting phenomenon witnessed on the human home world is that practice of keeping a "pet”, an animal which is not considered sentient, that is allowed to live and interact with the humans, sometimes sharing their houses, and even sharing their beds. No one knows what underlies this profound urge to bring other creatures into their homes, but it is a practice humans have been participating in for well over four thousand years, perhaps even, since the beginning of their existence.
[…]
Am I allowed to make a complaint!?
No no, I am not asking…
I was simply warning you that I am going to complain in a very roundabout way.
I don't really care whether you want me to complain or not. I am simply angry at how everything humans do seems to be a direct attempt to make me angry, or scare me half to death. I honestly think it is on purpose, a species cannot feasibly be this reckless if that were not the case. I mean, they bring apex predators into their beds for Sanctum's sake!!!
Here, here let me explain.
The Dog: It basically is just a fucking wolf. Yeah, once upon a time humans cuddled up to the most cunning pack predator in the world and thought it would be fun to bring them inside, and for it to around their kids. I mean are you kidding me!? This creature can grow to over one hundred pounds and has razor sharp K-9 teeth that can rip your throat out. It has a nose that can smell the adrenaline excretions... It can flipping smell fear. In fact, humans say that this creature is domesticated, but may I point out to you that dogs are responsible for killing people all across the world. It's a predator, it wants to eat your face! And before you go saying, well that is only big dogs, the little dogs are worse! They are big killers trapped inside a tiny body and that makes them neurotic and angry and way more willing to just go ahead and chomp your finger right off. And humans LOVE these creatures, they love them. They will dress them up in little sweaters and little shoes, and they will coo over them constantly. It is HORRIFIC. They even give them to disabled people, some of the most vulnerable of their species, and they just hand them an apex predator like it's no big deal!... I'm getting worked up, aren't I?
The cat: So basically, a tiny tiger that still has all the instincts of a big tiger. If it were bigger, it would definitely kill you. Now, luckily for us, the domesticated ones only come in one size, and that size is rather small (for the most part) because if these suckers were big, they would be like tigers or pumas, and they would be more than willing to rip our face off. What is worse, at least with dogs you can argue that they are well tempered and loving, but cats? They hate you, they are using you and they know it, you know it, everyone knows it. They will come up to you to be petted and instead of walking away like a normal creature when they are done, they will just claw you, just claw you no explanation, no apology just claws. And what is WORSE is the people who own cats are even more delusional than the ones that own dogs, because I bet you there is a human reading this right now that says “well my cat is nice”, or another human that thinks “well yeah my cat does this sometimes, but he/she's so cute and I love them anyway”, so there... Humans are blinded by their need to touch and hold fuzzy things.
Horses: Ok, I know this one does not go inside, but hear me out on this one… It is a giant frigging deer-thing that comes in as many sizes as dogs do, and one day some a-hole human decided to hop on one's back and go riding into the sunset, never mind that this thing could kick you into a state of internal hemorrhaging even I would balk at. It is too big to put it away and so you have to let it roam free, but no, instead humans decided to ride it.
Rabbit: Shouldn't you be eating these things? Also, they have clawed back feet, and sometimes they bite. Why do you want one so badly?
Rats: It's a fucking rat!? Like boubonic plague! Is any of that ringing a bell? This thing is literally vermin, its job is to carry diseases and be nasty, and you want to keep one in your child's bedroom!?
Guinea pigs/gerbils/mice: See rats above, I am just saying these things are tiny rats and their job is to carry diseases. It is gross so don't touch them.
Birds: Again, with the disease thing. These guys are flying rats. Ok I get it, humans love cute things that can make noise and talk, but these guys are super loud and expensive to take care of. Just do yourself a solid and let it go, it belongs out in the wild where it can be annoying outside and not inside.
Lizards: I mean ok... Pretty sure these carry diseases too. Also, they will never love you and they are very expensive to keep.
Snake: It's a fucking snake! One of humanities the worst fears, and you WANT one!? This thing has haunted the nightmares of your people for the past couple thousand years, and you want to cuddle it? Plus, you have to feed it dead mice! Some of you have a snake so big that it is capable of swallowing medium-sized animals whole. This is literally the definition of a predator, some of them are even venomous. Why- why-why-why-why do you have one!? WHY DO YOU HAVE A SNAKE!!!??? THE MIND BOGGLES! NO “DANGER NOODLES” ARE NOT CUTE!!!!
Tarantula: Fucking hell! *slamming noises* You guys are just fucking with me now right? Right? Just straight fucking with me. This isn't serious. It can’t be… Like we have come all this way, just for me to learn about this shit. This isn't real, it cannot be real because that would mean that you guys are way stupider than I thought you were... I mean... I can't... Nope I am done I can’t... I draw the line at big ass spiders.
Why hasn't god terminated your species yet!?
Surely natural selection would not encourage you to actively seek out creatures that can kill and eat you…
Why, why, why are you still getting bigger!? Why are you thriving!? Why am I here with you, why did I decide to leave the safety of my own planet!?
*incoherent screaming*
"Why is the human need to touch other living things so damn strong!. What biological purpose is this!?”
”Rrrrrrrraaaaaaaaahahhhhhhh!!!”
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.
submitted by maximusaemilius to HFY [link] [comments]
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Pets are cute! I thought we went over this already Krill?
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
This research focuses primarily on the ability of the human to interact and bond with different types of species. All over the galaxy it has been seen that humans have the ability to interact with and understand different species around them in ways that are meaningful for both parties. However, a different and more interesting phenomenon witnessed on the human home world is that practice of keeping a "pet”, an animal which is not considered sentient, that is allowed to live and interact with the humans, sometimes sharing their houses, and even sharing their beds. No one knows what underlies this profound urge to bring other creatures into their homes, but it is a practice humans have been participating in for well over four thousand years, perhaps even, since the beginning of their existence.
Am I allowed to make a complaint!?
No no, I am not asking…
I was simply warning you that I am going to complain in a very roundabout way.
I don't really care whether you want me to complain or not. I am simply angry at how everything humans do seems to be a direct attempt to make me angry, or scare me half to death. I honestly think it is on purpose, a species cannot feasibly be this reckless if that were not the case. I mean, they bring apex predators into their beds for Sanctum's sake!!!
Here, here let me explain.
The Dog: It basically is just a fucking wolf. Yeah, once upon a time humans cuddled up to the most cunning pack predator in the world and thought it would be fun to bring them inside, and for it to around their kids. I mean are you kidding me!? This creature can grow to over one hundred pounds and has razor sharp K-9 teeth that can rip your throat out. It has a nose that can smell the adrenaline excretions... It can flipping smell fear. In fact, humans say that this creature is domesticated, but may I point out to you that dogs are responsible for killing people all across the world. It's a predator, it wants to eat your face! And before you go saying, well that is only big dogs, the little dogs are worse! They are big killers trapped inside a tiny body and that makes them neurotic and angry and way more willing to just go ahead and chomp your finger right off. And humans LOVE these creatures, they love them. They will dress them up in little sweaters and little shoes, and they will coo over them constantly. It is HORRIFIC. They even give them to disabled people, some of the most vulnerable of their species, and they just hand them an apex predator like it's no big deal!... I'm getting worked up, aren't I?
The cat: So basically, a tiny tiger that still has all the instincts of a big tiger. If it were bigger, it would definitely kill you. Now, luckily for us, the domesticated ones only come in one size, and that size is rather small (for the most part) because if these suckers were big, they would be like tigers or pumas, and they would be more than willing to rip our face off. What is worse, at least with dogs you can argue that they are well tempered and loving, but cats? They hate you, they are using you and they know it, you know it, everyone knows it. They will come up to you to be petted and instead of walking away like a normal creature when they are done, they will just claw you, just claw you no explanation, no apology just claws. And what is WORSE is the people who own cats are even more delusional than the ones that own dogs, because I bet you there is a human reading this right now that says “well my cat is nice”, or another human that thinks “well yeah my cat does this sometimes, but he/she's so cute and I love them anyway”, so there... Humans are blinded by their need to touch and hold fuzzy things.
Horses: Ok, I know this one does not go inside, but hear me out on this one… It is a giant frigging deer-thing that comes in as many sizes as dogs do, and one day some a-hole human decided to hop on one's back and go riding into the sunset, never mind that this thing could kick you into a state of internal hemorrhaging even I would balk at. It is too big to put it away and so you have to let it roam free, but no, instead humans decided to ride it.
Rabbit: Shouldn't you be eating these things? Also, they have clawed back feet, and sometimes they bite. Why do you want one so badly?
Rats: It's a fucking rat!? Like boubonic plague! Is any of that ringing a bell? This thing is literally vermin, its job is to carry diseases and be nasty, and you want to keep one in your child's bedroom!?
Guinea pigs/gerbils/mice: See rats above, I am just saying these things are tiny rats and their job is to carry diseases. It is gross so don't touch them.
Birds: Again, with the disease thing. These guys are flying rats. Ok I get it, humans love cute things that can make noise and talk, but these guys are super loud and expensive to take care of. Just do yourself a solid and let it go, it belongs out in the wild where it can be annoying outside and not inside.
Lizards: I mean ok... Pretty sure these carry diseases too. Also, they will never love you and they are very expensive to keep.
Snake: It's a fucking snake! One of humanities the worst fears, and you WANT one!? This thing has haunted the nightmares of your people for the past couple thousand years, and you want to cuddle it? Plus, you have to feed it dead mice! Some of you have a snake so big that it is capable of swallowing medium-sized animals whole. This is literally the definition of a predator, some of them are even venomous. Why- why-why-why-why do you have one!? WHY DO YOU HAVE A SNAKE!!!??? THE MIND BOGGLES! NO “DANGER NOODLES” ARE NOT CUTE!!!!
Tarantula: Fucking hell! *slamming noises* You guys are just fucking with me now right? Right? Just straight fucking with me. This isn't serious. It can’t be… Like we have come all this way, just for me to learn about this shit. This isn't real, it cannot be real because that would mean that you guys are way stupider than I thought you were... I mean... I can't... Nope I am done I can’t... I draw the line at big ass spiders.
Why hasn't god terminated your species yet!?
Surely natural selection would not encourage you to actively seek out creatures that can kill and eat you…
Why, why, why are you still getting bigger!? Why are you thriving!? Why am I here with you, why did I decide to leave the safety of my own planet!?
*incoherent screaming*
"Why is the human need to touch other living things so damn strong!. What biological purpose is this!?”
”Rrrrrrrraaaaaaaaahahhhhhhh!!!”
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.
2023.05.31 05:55 FakerDaker- In Defense of the Time Jump
I feel that the time jump was really the only way to keep the show moving in any interesting way.
If we were to follow directly after Barry and Sally run off, what would we even really see? We'd see them moving from town to town, making false lives for themselves. Additionally, we were already seeing Barry barely escape by the skin of his teeth so much in the previous seasons it would've felt repetitive seeing that again. Also, they made sure to make it clear that Sally felt safe around Barry and Barry wanted to be with Sally again, so no matter what I think they would've ended up together. Giving them a kid isn't just for fun but to complete Sally's arc from being abused into the abuser. She can't really abuse Barry, it needed to be someone who was completely unaware of who Sally was and is, someone completely and utterly innocent. Additionally, all Barry wanted the entire series was for someone to think of him as a hero and a good person, and who better than his son, who inherently will look up to him because he's his dad. And of course, kids are very malleable so Barry can tell him whatever he wants and knows he's going to believe him at face value. Also, the episode after slowed things down to show contrast and really put you in the place of where Barry and Sally were at. No more gunfights, no more fun acting jobs, just Sally going into work, being sexually harassed, speaking in a fake accent, and attempting to drown her problems with alcohol. I think it provided a really funny contrast to what their lives in LA were like and how far they’ve come from it.
For Gene, he shoots his son and runs away for 9 years to Israel and that might’ve been funny to see but it would also just be Gene doing mundane things to hide himself away. The show already had already hinted at Gene's paranoia and so his running makes sense. But with the time jump we get to see a Gene who believes he's changed, someone who thinks he’s found himself and since we haven't seen him every step of that journey we're not sure whether or not it's really true. But because so much time has passed it's even more hilarious when he's brought down by the offer of Daniel Day-Lewis to perform as him. Because no matter how much time passes, or how much he goes through, Gene will always and forever be a selfish, egotistical maniac.
Fuches was always a manipulative character and before the time jump was shown to be earning the respect of the inmates for taking the beatings from the guards and not squealing on Barry. For me, I don't need to see every detail of how he formed the gang because I already saw him be a master manipulator with Barry and with his Kenneth Goulet persona, so it made sense that could form and control a big gang of felons. He even states that he was good at manipulating men while he was talking to Hank before the final shootout. It was much funnier to see him come out as the Raven looking insane after such a long time. And even with that, I thought that dinner with Hank, he was still the same old Fuches that wasn't really serious and just putting on a front. But that sequence where he sends the heads to Hank and turns Hank's ambush against him really establishes him as a legit threat and it caught me completely off guard.
Also, it was super fun seeing Hank with his empire. The last episode with him literally ended with him showing his true criminal side to Cristobal and then killing him to keep him quiet. For me, it wouldn't have been interesting to the details of Hank building his empire, we know he's charismatic, we know he's got serious connections now, so it makes sense to jump ahead to where he’s already established in a very successful position. Hank already had that drive and will to succeed no matter the cost. Also, the fact of him revolving the company around him and Cristobal highlighted how much guilt and hurt he held onto for so many years. 9 years later and he can’t let go of the man he loved, the man he killed for his own selfish purposes.
So for me, the time jump was not only worth it but completely necessary to keep the show interesting and varied. It was also a great way to give us a sequel essentially, seeing how these characters would change and evolve over time.
submitted by FakerDaker- to Barry [link] [comments]
If we were to follow directly after Barry and Sally run off, what would we even really see? We'd see them moving from town to town, making false lives for themselves. Additionally, we were already seeing Barry barely escape by the skin of his teeth so much in the previous seasons it would've felt repetitive seeing that again. Also, they made sure to make it clear that Sally felt safe around Barry and Barry wanted to be with Sally again, so no matter what I think they would've ended up together. Giving them a kid isn't just for fun but to complete Sally's arc from being abused into the abuser. She can't really abuse Barry, it needed to be someone who was completely unaware of who Sally was and is, someone completely and utterly innocent. Additionally, all Barry wanted the entire series was for someone to think of him as a hero and a good person, and who better than his son, who inherently will look up to him because he's his dad. And of course, kids are very malleable so Barry can tell him whatever he wants and knows he's going to believe him at face value. Also, the episode after slowed things down to show contrast and really put you in the place of where Barry and Sally were at. No more gunfights, no more fun acting jobs, just Sally going into work, being sexually harassed, speaking in a fake accent, and attempting to drown her problems with alcohol. I think it provided a really funny contrast to what their lives in LA were like and how far they’ve come from it.
For Gene, he shoots his son and runs away for 9 years to Israel and that might’ve been funny to see but it would also just be Gene doing mundane things to hide himself away. The show already had already hinted at Gene's paranoia and so his running makes sense. But with the time jump we get to see a Gene who believes he's changed, someone who thinks he’s found himself and since we haven't seen him every step of that journey we're not sure whether or not it's really true. But because so much time has passed it's even more hilarious when he's brought down by the offer of Daniel Day-Lewis to perform as him. Because no matter how much time passes, or how much he goes through, Gene will always and forever be a selfish, egotistical maniac.
Fuches was always a manipulative character and before the time jump was shown to be earning the respect of the inmates for taking the beatings from the guards and not squealing on Barry. For me, I don't need to see every detail of how he formed the gang because I already saw him be a master manipulator with Barry and with his Kenneth Goulet persona, so it made sense that could form and control a big gang of felons. He even states that he was good at manipulating men while he was talking to Hank before the final shootout. It was much funnier to see him come out as the Raven looking insane after such a long time. And even with that, I thought that dinner with Hank, he was still the same old Fuches that wasn't really serious and just putting on a front. But that sequence where he sends the heads to Hank and turns Hank's ambush against him really establishes him as a legit threat and it caught me completely off guard.
Also, it was super fun seeing Hank with his empire. The last episode with him literally ended with him showing his true criminal side to Cristobal and then killing him to keep him quiet. For me, it wouldn't have been interesting to the details of Hank building his empire, we know he's charismatic, we know he's got serious connections now, so it makes sense to jump ahead to where he’s already established in a very successful position. Hank already had that drive and will to succeed no matter the cost. Also, the fact of him revolving the company around him and Cristobal highlighted how much guilt and hurt he held onto for so many years. 9 years later and he can’t let go of the man he loved, the man he killed for his own selfish purposes.
So for me, the time jump was not only worth it but completely necessary to keep the show interesting and varied. It was also a great way to give us a sequel essentially, seeing how these characters would change and evolve over time.
2023.05.31 03:34 Training_Winner_442 I’m 18m and don’t know if I should get back with a girl 18f
What to do with my girlfriend (ish)
I’ve was with a girl for 7 months we will call her sally, but I then broke up with her, I thought it would be better for me because they’re was a lot of pain in the relationship, we also had our good times and she helped me out of addiction. About 3 and a half weeks ago I broke up with sally, we talked and I wanted to see that she would change so the relationship would be smoother and less arguing and fighting. I noticed change in the relationship and had the idea of getting back with her. But we were not back together yet, we had alot of ground rules like not getting with other people and keep talking to each other, I was okay with this. Then two weekends ago I was at a party with sally where I was very intoxicated. She helped me my bringing me water and in return I spat the water in her face. The following week at prom where sally was my date, and her friend was very intoxicated, me and sallys best friend decided to drive her home (driver being sober of course) after dropping her off I received multiple calls saying how sally (not dating as previously mentioned) had got with another guy, someone she had convinced me was just a friend. Intoxicated and angry me did not know how to respond to this and was very angry, I yelled at her and told a bunch of our friends she was a wh•re. As the weekend continued things only got worse from there, I downloaded tinder and added girls from tinder, one being a mutual friend of Sally’s, I began to talk and entertain other girls, some of which sally hates because they have had a large negative impact on her life. I then went and got with another girl. One night she had a friend of mine over and attempted to sleep with him, only thing stopping them was that he couldn’t get it up, instead they showered togeather. She has told me about what she has done but he does not know I know. Later in the week we talked and she found out about what I have done as well I have found out about her actions with my friend. She also found out about an incident in a previous break up, where we had broken up for a small period of time and I began to talk to another girl, after getting back together with sally I continued to talk to this girl for about a week before blocking her. We have both been through a lot of pain and I don’t know what’s next. Do I get back with her?
submitted by Training_Winner_442 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I’ve was with a girl for 7 months we will call her sally, but I then broke up with her, I thought it would be better for me because they’re was a lot of pain in the relationship, we also had our good times and she helped me out of addiction. About 3 and a half weeks ago I broke up with sally, we talked and I wanted to see that she would change so the relationship would be smoother and less arguing and fighting. I noticed change in the relationship and had the idea of getting back with her. But we were not back together yet, we had alot of ground rules like not getting with other people and keep talking to each other, I was okay with this. Then two weekends ago I was at a party with sally where I was very intoxicated. She helped me my bringing me water and in return I spat the water in her face. The following week at prom where sally was my date, and her friend was very intoxicated, me and sallys best friend decided to drive her home (driver being sober of course) after dropping her off I received multiple calls saying how sally (not dating as previously mentioned) had got with another guy, someone she had convinced me was just a friend. Intoxicated and angry me did not know how to respond to this and was very angry, I yelled at her and told a bunch of our friends she was a wh•re. As the weekend continued things only got worse from there, I downloaded tinder and added girls from tinder, one being a mutual friend of Sally’s, I began to talk and entertain other girls, some of which sally hates because they have had a large negative impact on her life. I then went and got with another girl. One night she had a friend of mine over and attempted to sleep with him, only thing stopping them was that he couldn’t get it up, instead they showered togeather. She has told me about what she has done but he does not know I know. Later in the week we talked and she found out about what I have done as well I have found out about her actions with my friend. She also found out about an incident in a previous break up, where we had broken up for a small period of time and I began to talk to another girl, after getting back together with sally I continued to talk to this girl for about a week before blocking her. We have both been through a lot of pain and I don’t know what’s next. Do I get back with her?
2023.05.31 02:04 Forgetful_Frog Home and Freak On a Leash are in! What should I put in next? (Top comment(s) picks the next song)
 | submitted by Forgetful_Frog to sallyface [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 22:28 ryuu_gs [TOMT] [ART] [2010s] Looking for a specific speedpaint of Israphel with a song similar to Bleach's Number One
Hey there! I'm looking for any lead on the artist behind this speedpaint or just finding out the song that played in it.
Sometime in 2013 - 2014 I found out about Israphel from Shadow of Israphel (yes, the YOGSCASTS series) and I did what I did for every cool thing I saw as a kid: I looked for speedpaint videos about him.
I found a speedpaint that I believe was divided in 2 parts. From what I remember, it was Israphel facing forward and placed on the left side of the canvas. He was drawn in a "realistic" manner (as in, not in the Minecraft style.)
In one of the parts of this speedpaint, there was a song in the background that sounded very similar to Bleach's "Number One" (specifically from 1:10 until the chorus) similar mood, genre and singer.
I don't think I ever found out the name of this song back when I watched this, in fact, I'm not even sure if it was a different song from Number One (although a large part of me thinks it was a different song.)
Finding out the mystery behind this song is what's most important to me, but finding this painting is easier, I believe, and might lead me to the artist, their channel, and so on.
Some things to help in the search: The art in question is not the album cover for the first volume of the soundtrack. It was a fanart. The way Israphel's face was drawn in the art is similar to this art, but he had red eyes.
This is more specific to the people who might have watched this speedpaint in question, but I remember the initial sketch was blue and the software used looked like Paint Tool Sai.
Unfortunately this is all I remember about this piece and the video. I don't know exactly how the background looked, but I do remember it having one. Something tells me it was black with some red details, but I am really not sure.
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!
submitted by ryuu_gs to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]
Sometime in 2013 - 2014 I found out about Israphel from Shadow of Israphel (yes, the YOGSCASTS series) and I did what I did for every cool thing I saw as a kid: I looked for speedpaint videos about him.
I found a speedpaint that I believe was divided in 2 parts. From what I remember, it was Israphel facing forward and placed on the left side of the canvas. He was drawn in a "realistic" manner (as in, not in the Minecraft style.)
In one of the parts of this speedpaint, there was a song in the background that sounded very similar to Bleach's "Number One" (specifically from 1:10 until the chorus) similar mood, genre and singer.
I don't think I ever found out the name of this song back when I watched this, in fact, I'm not even sure if it was a different song from Number One (although a large part of me thinks it was a different song.)
Finding out the mystery behind this song is what's most important to me, but finding this painting is easier, I believe, and might lead me to the artist, their channel, and so on.
Some things to help in the search: The art in question is not the album cover for the first volume of the soundtrack. It was a fanart. The way Israphel's face was drawn in the art is similar to this art, but he had red eyes.
This is more specific to the people who might have watched this speedpaint in question, but I remember the initial sketch was blue and the software used looked like Paint Tool Sai.
Unfortunately this is all I remember about this piece and the video. I don't know exactly how the background looked, but I do remember it having one. Something tells me it was black with some red details, but I am really not sure.
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!
2023.05.30 22:19 TheWrongDimension Starry-Eyed (Fan Fiction)
Statemeant of, Estella Freeman, regarding her experiences during an audition for a film rendition of Macbeth. Original Statement given on November 21, 2008. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.
Statement begins
I appreciate your discretion. I could tell you recognized me the moment I sat down. I'm sure you can appreciate what an actress of my caliber has to deal with whenever I interact with the public. It can be nauseating, people swooning over you asking for an autograph or a picture or what have you. I’ve been an actress for almost 30 years and I can tell you it's really refreshing whenever I can find a moment to just be with other people and not have to talk about what your next big role is going to be, or how I was able to give such a performance in Destiny Walked North.
You're no doubt acquainted with many of my films, A Passage to Burma,, In Search of Sunrise, and of course everyone's favorite, Destiny Walked North. Oh but you don't want to hear me talk about all that. Sigh,but then I suppose I do have to tell you about the little misunderstanding concerning one of my recent auditions. Look, I'm only agreeing to give this statement because my younger sister, Cathrine, insisted I talk to you and threatened to go to the tabloids if I didn't. It really is all just a bit of unpleasant nonsense I can assure you.
The audition in question was an upcoming film version of Shakespeare's Macbeth, directed by Dexter Banks. Dexter had decided he wanted to do a modern rendition of the play and had asked me to audition for the part of Lady Macbeth. Now I don't normally do Shakespeare. I find it the droll labor of lesser theater actors but Dexters a friend and I always try to help whenever I can so I agreed to the audition.
The scene in question is the well known sleepwalking scene that opens act 5 of the play. In it, Lady Macbeth is seen sleepwalking and delivers a powerful monologue wherein her guilt is laid to bare. The audition itself was done as a series of three takes which were all performed and recorded on a small set built to look like the interior of a modern day estate.
Everything started off fine. I had already delivered two flawless takes but Dexter had been unsatisfied. He said that my guilt did not appear genuine and suggested I try and find a memory to draw from for the final take. Now as I mentioned, I’ve been acting for 30 years and I dont need some director, friend or not, telling me how to get into character. Still, I didn't want to make a big deal about it and acquiesced to trying Dexter's way.
So that's what I did. It took a few moments but I suddenly remembered an incident from my childhood. I was about 10 or 11 at the time. One day while mum was out, I had taken some of her makeup to try on. You have to understand at that age I had started becoming interested in looking and dressing like a real woman and not some little girl. Anyway I knew it would make mum furious were she to catch me. I must have spent an hour meticulously applying the primer then foundation, followed by blush, eyeliner, and of course la touche finale: mums ruby red lipstick. Now at some point during all this I must have lost track of time for no sooner had I finished applying the lipstick when I heard the sound of mum’s fumbling with the front latch. I knew there would be no time to properly put back all the cosmetics and clean my face. I was certain I would be caught when I had the sudden idea. I quickly gathered up all the cosmetics and dumped them into my younger sister Cathrine’s room then locked myself in the privy just as mum entered the house.
Needless to say my little scheme had worked perfectly for it was not but a few minutes more when I could hear mum angrily shouting at Catherine. By the time I had cleaned my face and emerged I found my little sister sobbing in the corner.
Sigh, but of course I could barely go a whole day with all that guilt and I eventually confessed. Mum was…well she was pretty tough and lets just say I got what was coming to me.
And so I concentrated on that moment and when Dexter yelled action I began that final take. I put everything I had into that take. The moment when Lady Macbeth looks at her hands for fear of stained blood, I imagined the red stain of my mother's lipstick and thought about the cries my sister had made when mum had throttled her.
At the scene's culmination I made a spontaneous decision to improvise. The scene normally requires Lady Macbeth to exit the stage but I choose instead to throw myself on the floor in dramatic fashion. And so I screamed “What's done cannot be undone.--To bed, to bed, to bed!” and fell to the floor, eyes closed. I lay there for a few moments waiting for Dexter to yell cut but… there was nothing. At first I thought that perhaps my performance had just stunned him and so I waited for a few more moments but still… nothing. Then I opened my eyes to the horror of an empty room. Dexter, the entire crew, they all were…gone. I was alone. I thought at first perhaps it was a joke, that the crew had somehow snuck away in those moments where I had closed my eyes but then I realized something else: There was no equipment, no cameras, no light fixtures, no director's chair. It was an empty set. Now it's possible that maybe Dexter and the crew could have slipped away while I was preoccupied with my audition, a practical joke while I was lost in the performance as it may. But there's no way they could have just moved all that equipment in the span of a one minute scene. I began to panic, calling out for Dexter, for anyone to answer, hoping that at any moment someone would pop out and I would realize it was all imagined, a hallucination perhaps. But no one popped out. There were no responses. No surprises or jokes. Just the sound of my own voice echoing off the walls.
And then I realized something else, something that truly terrified me: I was no longer standing on a small set but in the actual room itself. What I mean is that, as I said before, the set had been constructed to look like part of a room in a modern day estate, it even had a small fireplace for Lady Macbeth to warm her hands by during the scene. The set had been no more than 8 or 9 meters long at most but this…this was an entire room, not a set at all. What I might have called panic moments before had now coalesced into utter terror. I ran to one of the doors and found it opened into a hallway, one typical of any other house of this type, and like most hallways, I could see it led to other rooms. I moved forward down the corridor carefully. A bathroom on the right, a bedroom on the left, another bedroom, and further down, the hallway led into a formal sitting room. This was a house, just like the setting of Dexter's film. I cried out again, begging for someone, anyone to answer, but still nothing.
Then I heard something: A distinct whistle coming from somewhere not far away. I rushed back down the way I came, this time turning down an adjacent hallway toward the sound and emerged into what was clearly the kitchen. And sure enough there, on the stove, sat a steaming tea kettle over the soft glow of the stove's flame. “I know you're there!”, I called out. Clearly the kettle had been set by someone and whomever they were they were nearby. I could feel it. Like someone nearby was watching. Then suddenly I heard a loud thump, back toward the sitting room I had just left. I ran back and found that a fire now burned in the fireplace: The thump I heard was the sound of a smoldering log that had crumbled.
Now I will admit I am not a brave person, and in this particular set of circumstances to say I was terrified would have been an understatement. All the same, I do not enjoy being played with. Whatever this was, whatever was happening, it was clearly someone's idea of a joke. It must have been right? Bolstered by my anger I set out frantically searching the house, flinging open closet doors, searching under beds, all the while screaming, daring my tormentor to reveal themselves. But it was always the same, I would enter rooms that had clear signs of a recent presence: A lit cigarette in an ashtray, a running faucet. I would return to rooms I had left moments before and find objects had moved. A book lay open on a night stand where it had not been 5 minutes before. I started to think I was losing my sanity.
This went on for what seemed like 30 minutes when suddenly I had an impulse. A horrible dread filled me and I rushed over to a window and drew open the curtains. I don't know exactly how to describe what I saw. It looked like the English countryside, but a countryside that had been burned and ravaged beyond comprehension. What might have once been the rolling green hills of Cornwall or Wiltshire were now blackened monoliths of ashen waste. All across were ember colored cracks scared into the earth, littering the landscape like open sores. And when I looked up into that blood red sky where the sun should have been, I saw instead, a viscous orb of the deepest jet. I stared at it, unable to remove my gaze, watching as it would occasionally writhe and pulsate ever so slightly. And when it did, just for a moment, it looked almost like an eye that had blinked, a wretched sentry keeping watch over its wretched wasteland. I screamed. I mean at that point any shred of hope I had that this might be some elaborate hoax or prank was gone. This was a nightmare. A pure terrible nightmare.
It's hard to remember everything that happened next but I recall running through the house in a panic and somehow ending up back in the original room I had found myself in when all this began, the one that matched the set of the film. And when I looked up I saw that there now stood in the center of the room a loan movie camera, mounted on a tripod. It looked just like the ones the crew had used on the set; only this one was unmanned. It was, however , pointed right at me, and I could tell from the faint hum that it was running. We stared at each other for several moments in silence. I say we because I want to make it very clear that this wasn't just a camera, it was….I dunno, the…thing that had been watching me. I was certain. I can't tell you how I knew it but I just did.
Sigh, and then I did the only thing left I could think to do. I slowly, deliberately, got down on my knees, looked right into that camera, and I begged. I begged it to spare me, to show me mercy. To please take pity and absolve my wretched soul of whatever sins I had committed. To witness all the guilt I could lay to bare. But the camera said nothing. It just sat there silently filming, silently watching. I guess I must have collapsed at that point, probably from exhaustion.
When I regained consciousness I was back on the set of the audition, surrounded by Dexter and the rest of the crew. To my surprise everyone was clapping and Dexter was beaming. I thought perhaps it all had been some strange hallucination or day dream and I vaguely remember trying to compose myself before the sudden feeling of everything slipping away.
I assume I had passed out. At least that's what the nurses told me when I woke up in St. Thomas. Something about stress induced psychosis and how I needed to take it easier from now on, and how i wasnt 25 anymore and blah blah blah. I was there for 2 days I think. It doesn't really matter. And I never did get the part. It went to some up and coming twit, you know the one in all the vampire movies. Dexter didn't even bother to call to tell me. The nerve. You know after 5 films, all I've done for him the least that bastard could do was call to tell me he had decided to give the part to some younger harlot he was probably sleeping with.
I haven't done any more auditions. Haven't really got the stomach for it lately. I mean I know I could still get the parts, it's just ...well…I don’t think I could bear to be in front of the cameras. The way they just stare at you, watching, silently taking it all in. I mean I know it was probably all some sorta of stressed induced hallucination or whatever but deep down I don't think it was. You know lately when I am out walking, I stop and look up at the sky, just to check and make sure the sun is still there where it's supposed to be. Anyway I think that's everything
Statement Ends.
Sigh. There's so many things wrong with this statement. Where do I begin? I think the key words here are hallucinations and psychosis. Neither of which forms the foundation for verifiable fact. Then there is the issue of Ms. Freeman’s reliability. A quick IMDB search indicates that Estella Freeman was indeed an actress who appeared in several films including several by renowned director Dexter Banks. However, she was not, as her statement claims, cast in a lead role in any of them. Almost all of her credits are for minor roles, certainly none that would be considered star billing. According to public records that Sasha dug up, Estella Freeman was the oldest of two children born to Robert and Sally Freeman. She did have a younger sister named Catherine but she apparently passed away in an unspecified domestic accident at the age of 7, roughly the time Estella would have been 10 years old. She is listed as having attended the Croydon School of Acting before appearing in several minor film roles over an approximately 25 year period. On October the 13th, 2008 she was admitted to St. Thomas hospital where she was diagnosed and treated for stress induced fatigue and released on her own recognizance after 48 hours. Clearly Ms. Freeman is either suffering from delusions of grandeur or is a pathological liar, but in either case I think this is another dead end. I seem to recall that Dexter Banks appeared in another statement, but given my predecessor's penchant for disorganization, it may be years before I can track down that statement. Still, I’ve asked Martin to keep an eye out for it.
There is one other additional interesting fact. Tim really came through on this one and managed to obtain a copy of Ms. Freeman’s audition tape from that day. I don't know what guy or girl he had to sleep with to get it and I wont bother to ask. I reviewed the tape and it does indeed show Ms. Freeman performing 3 takes of the scene as she described in her statement. The first 2 are uneventful. However during the 3rd take, just as Ms. Freeman goes down on the floor, the tape cuts out to static. When it continues, it appears to show her acting rather hysterically before being assisted off the set by several crew members. Now what's interesting is that the video time stamps indicate only a few seconds elapsed during the time just before and after the cut out but the static itself plays for over 90 minutes. Still, it's not definitive proof of anything “supernatural”. End Recording.
The Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill, and licensed under a creative commons attribution noncommercial share alike 4.0 international license. All the characters and settings referenced are the property of Rusty Quill in their entirety.
https://preview.redd.it/xw2p5t7xh23b1.png?width=313&format=png&auto=webp&s=91cc33ed2dd5e25bc8dcf43ad20787705f7600d2
submitted by TheWrongDimension to TheMagnusArchives [link] [comments]
Statement begins
I appreciate your discretion. I could tell you recognized me the moment I sat down. I'm sure you can appreciate what an actress of my caliber has to deal with whenever I interact with the public. It can be nauseating, people swooning over you asking for an autograph or a picture or what have you. I’ve been an actress for almost 30 years and I can tell you it's really refreshing whenever I can find a moment to just be with other people and not have to talk about what your next big role is going to be, or how I was able to give such a performance in Destiny Walked North.
You're no doubt acquainted with many of my films, A Passage to Burma,, In Search of Sunrise, and of course everyone's favorite, Destiny Walked North. Oh but you don't want to hear me talk about all that. Sigh,but then I suppose I do have to tell you about the little misunderstanding concerning one of my recent auditions. Look, I'm only agreeing to give this statement because my younger sister, Cathrine, insisted I talk to you and threatened to go to the tabloids if I didn't. It really is all just a bit of unpleasant nonsense I can assure you.
The audition in question was an upcoming film version of Shakespeare's Macbeth, directed by Dexter Banks. Dexter had decided he wanted to do a modern rendition of the play and had asked me to audition for the part of Lady Macbeth. Now I don't normally do Shakespeare. I find it the droll labor of lesser theater actors but Dexters a friend and I always try to help whenever I can so I agreed to the audition.
The scene in question is the well known sleepwalking scene that opens act 5 of the play. In it, Lady Macbeth is seen sleepwalking and delivers a powerful monologue wherein her guilt is laid to bare. The audition itself was done as a series of three takes which were all performed and recorded on a small set built to look like the interior of a modern day estate.
Everything started off fine. I had already delivered two flawless takes but Dexter had been unsatisfied. He said that my guilt did not appear genuine and suggested I try and find a memory to draw from for the final take. Now as I mentioned, I’ve been acting for 30 years and I dont need some director, friend or not, telling me how to get into character. Still, I didn't want to make a big deal about it and acquiesced to trying Dexter's way.
So that's what I did. It took a few moments but I suddenly remembered an incident from my childhood. I was about 10 or 11 at the time. One day while mum was out, I had taken some of her makeup to try on. You have to understand at that age I had started becoming interested in looking and dressing like a real woman and not some little girl. Anyway I knew it would make mum furious were she to catch me. I must have spent an hour meticulously applying the primer then foundation, followed by blush, eyeliner, and of course la touche finale: mums ruby red lipstick. Now at some point during all this I must have lost track of time for no sooner had I finished applying the lipstick when I heard the sound of mum’s fumbling with the front latch. I knew there would be no time to properly put back all the cosmetics and clean my face. I was certain I would be caught when I had the sudden idea. I quickly gathered up all the cosmetics and dumped them into my younger sister Cathrine’s room then locked myself in the privy just as mum entered the house.
Needless to say my little scheme had worked perfectly for it was not but a few minutes more when I could hear mum angrily shouting at Catherine. By the time I had cleaned my face and emerged I found my little sister sobbing in the corner.
Sigh, but of course I could barely go a whole day with all that guilt and I eventually confessed. Mum was…well she was pretty tough and lets just say I got what was coming to me.
And so I concentrated on that moment and when Dexter yelled action I began that final take. I put everything I had into that take. The moment when Lady Macbeth looks at her hands for fear of stained blood, I imagined the red stain of my mother's lipstick and thought about the cries my sister had made when mum had throttled her.
At the scene's culmination I made a spontaneous decision to improvise. The scene normally requires Lady Macbeth to exit the stage but I choose instead to throw myself on the floor in dramatic fashion. And so I screamed “What's done cannot be undone.--To bed, to bed, to bed!” and fell to the floor, eyes closed. I lay there for a few moments waiting for Dexter to yell cut but… there was nothing. At first I thought that perhaps my performance had just stunned him and so I waited for a few more moments but still… nothing. Then I opened my eyes to the horror of an empty room. Dexter, the entire crew, they all were…gone. I was alone. I thought at first perhaps it was a joke, that the crew had somehow snuck away in those moments where I had closed my eyes but then I realized something else: There was no equipment, no cameras, no light fixtures, no director's chair. It was an empty set. Now it's possible that maybe Dexter and the crew could have slipped away while I was preoccupied with my audition, a practical joke while I was lost in the performance as it may. But there's no way they could have just moved all that equipment in the span of a one minute scene. I began to panic, calling out for Dexter, for anyone to answer, hoping that at any moment someone would pop out and I would realize it was all imagined, a hallucination perhaps. But no one popped out. There were no responses. No surprises or jokes. Just the sound of my own voice echoing off the walls.
And then I realized something else, something that truly terrified me: I was no longer standing on a small set but in the actual room itself. What I mean is that, as I said before, the set had been constructed to look like part of a room in a modern day estate, it even had a small fireplace for Lady Macbeth to warm her hands by during the scene. The set had been no more than 8 or 9 meters long at most but this…this was an entire room, not a set at all. What I might have called panic moments before had now coalesced into utter terror. I ran to one of the doors and found it opened into a hallway, one typical of any other house of this type, and like most hallways, I could see it led to other rooms. I moved forward down the corridor carefully. A bathroom on the right, a bedroom on the left, another bedroom, and further down, the hallway led into a formal sitting room. This was a house, just like the setting of Dexter's film. I cried out again, begging for someone, anyone to answer, but still nothing.
Then I heard something: A distinct whistle coming from somewhere not far away. I rushed back down the way I came, this time turning down an adjacent hallway toward the sound and emerged into what was clearly the kitchen. And sure enough there, on the stove, sat a steaming tea kettle over the soft glow of the stove's flame. “I know you're there!”, I called out. Clearly the kettle had been set by someone and whomever they were they were nearby. I could feel it. Like someone nearby was watching. Then suddenly I heard a loud thump, back toward the sitting room I had just left. I ran back and found that a fire now burned in the fireplace: The thump I heard was the sound of a smoldering log that had crumbled.
Now I will admit I am not a brave person, and in this particular set of circumstances to say I was terrified would have been an understatement. All the same, I do not enjoy being played with. Whatever this was, whatever was happening, it was clearly someone's idea of a joke. It must have been right? Bolstered by my anger I set out frantically searching the house, flinging open closet doors, searching under beds, all the while screaming, daring my tormentor to reveal themselves. But it was always the same, I would enter rooms that had clear signs of a recent presence: A lit cigarette in an ashtray, a running faucet. I would return to rooms I had left moments before and find objects had moved. A book lay open on a night stand where it had not been 5 minutes before. I started to think I was losing my sanity.
This went on for what seemed like 30 minutes when suddenly I had an impulse. A horrible dread filled me and I rushed over to a window and drew open the curtains. I don't know exactly how to describe what I saw. It looked like the English countryside, but a countryside that had been burned and ravaged beyond comprehension. What might have once been the rolling green hills of Cornwall or Wiltshire were now blackened monoliths of ashen waste. All across were ember colored cracks scared into the earth, littering the landscape like open sores. And when I looked up into that blood red sky where the sun should have been, I saw instead, a viscous orb of the deepest jet. I stared at it, unable to remove my gaze, watching as it would occasionally writhe and pulsate ever so slightly. And when it did, just for a moment, it looked almost like an eye that had blinked, a wretched sentry keeping watch over its wretched wasteland. I screamed. I mean at that point any shred of hope I had that this might be some elaborate hoax or prank was gone. This was a nightmare. A pure terrible nightmare.
It's hard to remember everything that happened next but I recall running through the house in a panic and somehow ending up back in the original room I had found myself in when all this began, the one that matched the set of the film. And when I looked up I saw that there now stood in the center of the room a loan movie camera, mounted on a tripod. It looked just like the ones the crew had used on the set; only this one was unmanned. It was, however , pointed right at me, and I could tell from the faint hum that it was running. We stared at each other for several moments in silence. I say we because I want to make it very clear that this wasn't just a camera, it was….I dunno, the…thing that had been watching me. I was certain. I can't tell you how I knew it but I just did.
Sigh, and then I did the only thing left I could think to do. I slowly, deliberately, got down on my knees, looked right into that camera, and I begged. I begged it to spare me, to show me mercy. To please take pity and absolve my wretched soul of whatever sins I had committed. To witness all the guilt I could lay to bare. But the camera said nothing. It just sat there silently filming, silently watching. I guess I must have collapsed at that point, probably from exhaustion.
When I regained consciousness I was back on the set of the audition, surrounded by Dexter and the rest of the crew. To my surprise everyone was clapping and Dexter was beaming. I thought perhaps it all had been some strange hallucination or day dream and I vaguely remember trying to compose myself before the sudden feeling of everything slipping away.
I assume I had passed out. At least that's what the nurses told me when I woke up in St. Thomas. Something about stress induced psychosis and how I needed to take it easier from now on, and how i wasnt 25 anymore and blah blah blah. I was there for 2 days I think. It doesn't really matter. And I never did get the part. It went to some up and coming twit, you know the one in all the vampire movies. Dexter didn't even bother to call to tell me. The nerve. You know after 5 films, all I've done for him the least that bastard could do was call to tell me he had decided to give the part to some younger harlot he was probably sleeping with.
I haven't done any more auditions. Haven't really got the stomach for it lately. I mean I know I could still get the parts, it's just ...well…I don’t think I could bear to be in front of the cameras. The way they just stare at you, watching, silently taking it all in. I mean I know it was probably all some sorta of stressed induced hallucination or whatever but deep down I don't think it was. You know lately when I am out walking, I stop and look up at the sky, just to check and make sure the sun is still there where it's supposed to be. Anyway I think that's everything
Statement Ends.
Sigh. There's so many things wrong with this statement. Where do I begin? I think the key words here are hallucinations and psychosis. Neither of which forms the foundation for verifiable fact. Then there is the issue of Ms. Freeman’s reliability. A quick IMDB search indicates that Estella Freeman was indeed an actress who appeared in several films including several by renowned director Dexter Banks. However, she was not, as her statement claims, cast in a lead role in any of them. Almost all of her credits are for minor roles, certainly none that would be considered star billing. According to public records that Sasha dug up, Estella Freeman was the oldest of two children born to Robert and Sally Freeman. She did have a younger sister named Catherine but she apparently passed away in an unspecified domestic accident at the age of 7, roughly the time Estella would have been 10 years old. She is listed as having attended the Croydon School of Acting before appearing in several minor film roles over an approximately 25 year period. On October the 13th, 2008 she was admitted to St. Thomas hospital where she was diagnosed and treated for stress induced fatigue and released on her own recognizance after 48 hours. Clearly Ms. Freeman is either suffering from delusions of grandeur or is a pathological liar, but in either case I think this is another dead end. I seem to recall that Dexter Banks appeared in another statement, but given my predecessor's penchant for disorganization, it may be years before I can track down that statement. Still, I’ve asked Martin to keep an eye out for it.
There is one other additional interesting fact. Tim really came through on this one and managed to obtain a copy of Ms. Freeman’s audition tape from that day. I don't know what guy or girl he had to sleep with to get it and I wont bother to ask. I reviewed the tape and it does indeed show Ms. Freeman performing 3 takes of the scene as she described in her statement. The first 2 are uneventful. However during the 3rd take, just as Ms. Freeman goes down on the floor, the tape cuts out to static. When it continues, it appears to show her acting rather hysterically before being assisted off the set by several crew members. Now what's interesting is that the video time stamps indicate only a few seconds elapsed during the time just before and after the cut out but the static itself plays for over 90 minutes. Still, it's not definitive proof of anything “supernatural”. End Recording.
The Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill, and licensed under a creative commons attribution noncommercial share alike 4.0 international license. All the characters and settings referenced are the property of Rusty Quill in their entirety.
https://preview.redd.it/xw2p5t7xh23b1.png?width=313&format=png&auto=webp&s=91cc33ed2dd5e25bc8dcf43ad20787705f7600d2
2023.05.30 21:39 funnygirlhihi Forgot to post this last month
 | I crocheted this Sally Face themed tote bag last month, thought I would share with you all<3 submitted by funnygirlhihi to sallyface [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 15:35 maximusaemilius Galaxies most renowned trauma surgeon experiences work in human ER center.
Dr. Krill was back on Earth.
He had no idea why he always seemed to end up in this insane hellscape, but here he was...
Again…
Shit…
Only the other day he had been caught out in an electrical storm while trying to commute his way to work, which he hadn't particularly appreciated, especially not when massive balls of frozen ice came pelting from the sky with enough power to tear open skin.
What the fuck is this planet!?
Even the humans had been running for cover, and that was saying something!
He would very much have preferred a job where he wasn't in constant danger of getting murdered by the elements on a regular basis.
But this was earth, one day he could be enjoying the sun, the next he was risking heat death, the next he was almost blown away by the wind, and the day after that he was almost whisked away by minor flooding.
Of course, it was either walking to work, or taking public transit which was probably even more dangerous, considering that it had humans on board.
Humans who were half asleep, humans who were strung out on drugs, humans with children, humans with dangerous pets.
Then of course there were the more than mildly xenophobic humans, who were, somehow, under the impression that Krill was there to still earthling jobs, which was not the case at all considering that he had volunteered his time for free.
Krill had no need of monetary compensation, to him, the work was the reward.
He leaned something new every day.
And now, with his current stint working in a human hospital, he was becoming even more acquainted with humanity... not entirely sure if that was in a good way or not.
Of course, Krill more than missed the simple life aboard the harbinger, where most humans were relatively educated and competent, where most stupid injuries came about by overly idiotic actions rather than ignorance – a point could be argued to which one of those things was worse, but, for the moment, Krill was under the impression that willful idiocy was still better than ignorance because at least they knew why they were stupid, and generally openly admitted it to Krill, whereas working with the general populace forced him to have to be patient and understanding towards people who just didn't know any better.
Apparently telling people they are stupid to their faces is seen as off-color in the human medical world even though that is probably exactly what some of the people needed to hear.
Again, he found himself wishing for the harbinger, and for the return of the captain – the biggest idiot of them all.
He idly wondered how he was doing on his little trip across the universe.
He wondered how Sunny was doing, exploring the human world on her own two feet?
He wished he knew when they would be back together.
The UNSC had given them extended shore leave, but they had never specified how long it was going to be, seeming to hint that it was contingent on how the captain felt.
Well…
Krill was under the impression the captain needed to get his ass back here so he would stop having to pull things out of people's butts.
Speaking of pulling things out of people's butts' he was on ER rotation today.
He found that the ER could be the most interesting, or the most infuriating part of a hospital.
Just the other day he had led the surgical team that reattached someone's arm, but then the day before that he had been in the ER to inform a woman that, yes your shortness of breath likely comes from the run you just went on after years of never having exercised.
He took his clipboard and walked into the human waiting room.
He could write a paper on what sort of things it was important for a medical professional to keep in mind when treating humans.
But here was an example of his typical day:
-Isn't this the second time I have seen little Jimmy in here for sticking something up his nose? I understand that he really loves playing with those toys, but you have to understand there is a reason the label says five and up. Yes, it would probably be best if you did not allow him around things he could get stuck in his face.
-Your pregnant. Yes of course, I am sure. I can do a blood test if you like. I know you said you are not sexually active, but I have looked at this blood test twice and a stick test twice and it says you are pregnant. Well, what do you consider sexually active... mmhmmm... Mmmhmmm... well I think it is probably my job to inform you that it is still sex even if the woman is on top.
-You just... fell on it huh? So, you were doing household chores... Naked... And you just so happened to slip and as you were slipping, this item was magically vacuumed up into your colon. Mmmmm hmmm… quick question. Where was this potato located for you to have fallen on it like that? Well, no sir, I am afraid that we probably won't be able to get it out manually, you are going to need a gastrointestinal specialist for that.
-Yes sir, your chest pain probably has something to do with all the cocaine you have been snorting. Cocaine tends to do that to people.
-Ok you are a diabetic trying to control your blood sugar. Ok, I am glad to hear that you have worked on toning down your sugar consumption, that's good, but I am still very concerned about your sugar levels. This is far too high, and I am extremely concerned. Let's go through your diet and see what you have been eating. Have you cut back on soft drinks? Yes, and now you drink a lot of fruit juice... ahh... I see. Well ma'am fruit juice just so happens to contain a lot of sugar, which might be why your blood sugar is so high. Might I suggest drinking some water?
-Ah finally, a real emergency. Yes, your grandmother's breathing problems worry me greatly. Let's get her back in to do an EKG, make sure nothing is going on with her heart. I am glad you brought her in when you did.
-Yes, little Susie is going to be fine. I am glad she knew how to use her epi-pen, excellent work Susie!
-No, I don't care that you have been waiting four hours to see the doctor. Your child has a mild stomachache, their child is having intermittent seizures. No, I will not be calling the medical director in to see you about this.
-Well, that's probably why it hurts so much. The condom is not supposed to cover the balls too.
-No matter how much you deny your use of opiates, when you came in here you weren't breathing and when I gave you Narcan you started breathing again, so I know where my vote is. Please try not to deny these things to your medical professional next time. It is not my job to call the cops. No, I am not going to rat you out. Yes, you could die if you don't tell me about past drug use no matter what it is.
-You got a WHAT in your WHERE!? Why would you stick a toothpick in there? No sir generally most people are not ailed with an itchy urethra, in fact I am pretty sure that is not a thing. Look, I am not judging you sir, but please stop sticking pointy things up into places where they do not belong because you could cause permanent damage.
-Ouch... now remind me again why you were trying to ride your skateboard down the stairs? And you openly admit that you are not good at skating... Because you saw a video? I am very glad you know it was a dumb idea because at least I don't have to say it.
-Ma'am this says analgesic not anal-gesic, the pills are taken orally not as a suppository.
-You have been bleeding once a month for ten years and you are just now coming in about that? I am sorry, but how old are you again? Yes, ma'am this is very normal, here let me get you a pamphlet to read, and if you have any questions feel free to ask one of the nurses.
-So, you don't have any medical history. Well, are you taking any medications? That sure is a lot of medications for someone who does not have any medical history. This one looks like it is for high blood pressure... Sir just because the medication is helping you manage your high blood pressure does not mean that your high blood pressure is cured!
-When I said stay away from beer and only drink clear liquids for the next days, that did not include vodka!
-I know vodka does have alcohol in it, but pouring it on your open soar sure did not help anything, and now you are probably going to need a plastic surgeon to fix this.
-No ma'am you have to put ear drops in both ears. No, the ears are not connected. Yes, your eardrums and you know... your brain are kind of in the way. No there is not a tube that just goes straight through.
-Please stop licking your wound!
-Um no, those bumps on your tongue are not cancer.... They are taste buds.
-Yes, that it a uvula... Yes, it is supposed to be there.
-What made you think sticking ice cubes up your anus would help with your fever? Well, it will not and now you have frost bite in your rectum.
-Sooooo uhhhhh… it was the smell that got you to come in and not the... Maggots?
Krill groaned in relief as he went to clock out.
”Tough day?"
Someone asked,
"I think something needs to be done about medical education on your planet."
The human laughed.
"We have been trying for more than two thousand years. Good lucky making it any better than it already is."
Previous First Next
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
submitted by maximusaemilius to humansarespaceorcs [link] [comments]
He had no idea why he always seemed to end up in this insane hellscape, but here he was...
Again…
Shit…
Only the other day he had been caught out in an electrical storm while trying to commute his way to work, which he hadn't particularly appreciated, especially not when massive balls of frozen ice came pelting from the sky with enough power to tear open skin.
What the fuck is this planet!?
Even the humans had been running for cover, and that was saying something!
He would very much have preferred a job where he wasn't in constant danger of getting murdered by the elements on a regular basis.
But this was earth, one day he could be enjoying the sun, the next he was risking heat death, the next he was almost blown away by the wind, and the day after that he was almost whisked away by minor flooding.
Of course, it was either walking to work, or taking public transit which was probably even more dangerous, considering that it had humans on board.
Humans who were half asleep, humans who were strung out on drugs, humans with children, humans with dangerous pets.
Then of course there were the more than mildly xenophobic humans, who were, somehow, under the impression that Krill was there to still earthling jobs, which was not the case at all considering that he had volunteered his time for free.
Krill had no need of monetary compensation, to him, the work was the reward.
He leaned something new every day.
And now, with his current stint working in a human hospital, he was becoming even more acquainted with humanity... not entirely sure if that was in a good way or not.
Of course, Krill more than missed the simple life aboard the harbinger, where most humans were relatively educated and competent, where most stupid injuries came about by overly idiotic actions rather than ignorance – a point could be argued to which one of those things was worse, but, for the moment, Krill was under the impression that willful idiocy was still better than ignorance because at least they knew why they were stupid, and generally openly admitted it to Krill, whereas working with the general populace forced him to have to be patient and understanding towards people who just didn't know any better.
Apparently telling people they are stupid to their faces is seen as off-color in the human medical world even though that is probably exactly what some of the people needed to hear.
Again, he found himself wishing for the harbinger, and for the return of the captain – the biggest idiot of them all.
He idly wondered how he was doing on his little trip across the universe.
He wondered how Sunny was doing, exploring the human world on her own two feet?
He wished he knew when they would be back together.
The UNSC had given them extended shore leave, but they had never specified how long it was going to be, seeming to hint that it was contingent on how the captain felt.
Well…
Krill was under the impression the captain needed to get his ass back here so he would stop having to pull things out of people's butts.
Speaking of pulling things out of people's butts' he was on ER rotation today.
He found that the ER could be the most interesting, or the most infuriating part of a hospital.
Just the other day he had led the surgical team that reattached someone's arm, but then the day before that he had been in the ER to inform a woman that, yes your shortness of breath likely comes from the run you just went on after years of never having exercised.
He took his clipboard and walked into the human waiting room.
He could write a paper on what sort of things it was important for a medical professional to keep in mind when treating humans.
But here was an example of his typical day:
-Isn't this the second time I have seen little Jimmy in here for sticking something up his nose? I understand that he really loves playing with those toys, but you have to understand there is a reason the label says five and up. Yes, it would probably be best if you did not allow him around things he could get stuck in his face.
-Your pregnant. Yes of course, I am sure. I can do a blood test if you like. I know you said you are not sexually active, but I have looked at this blood test twice and a stick test twice and it says you are pregnant. Well, what do you consider sexually active... mmhmmm... Mmmhmmm... well I think it is probably my job to inform you that it is still sex even if the woman is on top.
-You just... fell on it huh? So, you were doing household chores... Naked... And you just so happened to slip and as you were slipping, this item was magically vacuumed up into your colon. Mmmmm hmmm… quick question. Where was this potato located for you to have fallen on it like that? Well, no sir, I am afraid that we probably won't be able to get it out manually, you are going to need a gastrointestinal specialist for that.
-Yes sir, your chest pain probably has something to do with all the cocaine you have been snorting. Cocaine tends to do that to people.
-Ok you are a diabetic trying to control your blood sugar. Ok, I am glad to hear that you have worked on toning down your sugar consumption, that's good, but I am still very concerned about your sugar levels. This is far too high, and I am extremely concerned. Let's go through your diet and see what you have been eating. Have you cut back on soft drinks? Yes, and now you drink a lot of fruit juice... ahh... I see. Well ma'am fruit juice just so happens to contain a lot of sugar, which might be why your blood sugar is so high. Might I suggest drinking some water?
-Ah finally, a real emergency. Yes, your grandmother's breathing problems worry me greatly. Let's get her back in to do an EKG, make sure nothing is going on with her heart. I am glad you brought her in when you did.
-Yes, little Susie is going to be fine. I am glad she knew how to use her epi-pen, excellent work Susie!
-No, I don't care that you have been waiting four hours to see the doctor. Your child has a mild stomachache, their child is having intermittent seizures. No, I will not be calling the medical director in to see you about this.
-Well, that's probably why it hurts so much. The condom is not supposed to cover the balls too.
-No matter how much you deny your use of opiates, when you came in here you weren't breathing and when I gave you Narcan you started breathing again, so I know where my vote is. Please try not to deny these things to your medical professional next time. It is not my job to call the cops. No, I am not going to rat you out. Yes, you could die if you don't tell me about past drug use no matter what it is.
-You got a WHAT in your WHERE!? Why would you stick a toothpick in there? No sir generally most people are not ailed with an itchy urethra, in fact I am pretty sure that is not a thing. Look, I am not judging you sir, but please stop sticking pointy things up into places where they do not belong because you could cause permanent damage.
-Ouch... now remind me again why you were trying to ride your skateboard down the stairs? And you openly admit that you are not good at skating... Because you saw a video? I am very glad you know it was a dumb idea because at least I don't have to say it.
-Ma'am this says analgesic not anal-gesic, the pills are taken orally not as a suppository.
-You have been bleeding once a month for ten years and you are just now coming in about that? I am sorry, but how old are you again? Yes, ma'am this is very normal, here let me get you a pamphlet to read, and if you have any questions feel free to ask one of the nurses.
-So, you don't have any medical history. Well, are you taking any medications? That sure is a lot of medications for someone who does not have any medical history. This one looks like it is for high blood pressure... Sir just because the medication is helping you manage your high blood pressure does not mean that your high blood pressure is cured!
-When I said stay away from beer and only drink clear liquids for the next days, that did not include vodka!
-I know vodka does have alcohol in it, but pouring it on your open soar sure did not help anything, and now you are probably going to need a plastic surgeon to fix this.
-No ma'am you have to put ear drops in both ears. No, the ears are not connected. Yes, your eardrums and you know... your brain are kind of in the way. No there is not a tube that just goes straight through.
-Please stop licking your wound!
-Um no, those bumps on your tongue are not cancer.... They are taste buds.
-Yes, that it a uvula... Yes, it is supposed to be there.
-What made you think sticking ice cubes up your anus would help with your fever? Well, it will not and now you have frost bite in your rectum.
-Sooooo uhhhhh… it was the smell that got you to come in and not the... Maggots?
Krill groaned in relief as he went to clock out.
”Tough day?"
Someone asked,
"I think something needs to be done about medical education on your planet."
The human laughed.
"We have been trying for more than two thousand years. Good lucky making it any better than it already is."
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
2023.05.30 15:32 maximusaemilius Empyrean Iris: 2-10: ER (by Charlie Star)
FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
So uhhh yeah, remember two chapters ago when I said we don’t get more on Sunny and Krill while Adam is gone?
I forgot this chapter…
Previous First Next
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Dr. Krill was back on Earth.
He had no idea why he always seemed to end up in this insane hellscape, but here he was...
Again…
Shit…
Only the other day he had been caught out in an electrical storm while trying to commute his way to work, which he hadn't particularly appreciated, especially not when massive balls of frozen ice came pelting from the sky with enough power to tear open skin.
What the fuck is this planet!?
Even the humans had been running for cover, and that was saying something!
He would very much have preferred a job where he wasn't in constant danger of getting murdered by the elements on a regular basis.
But this was earth, one day he could be enjoying the sun, the next he was risking heat death, the next he was almost blown away by the wind, and the day after that he was almost whisked away by minor flooding.
Of course, it was either walking to work, or taking public transit which was probably even more dangerous, considering that it had humans on board.
Humans who were half asleep, humans who were strung out on drugs, humans with children, humans with dangerous pets.
Then of course there were the more than mildly xenophobic humans, who were, somehow, under the impression that Krill was there to steal earthling jobs, which was not the case at all considering that he had volunteered his time for free.
Krill had no need of monetary compensation, to him, the work was the reward.
He leaned something new every day.
And now, with his current stint working in a human hospital, he was becoming even more acquainted with humanity... not entirely sure if that was in a good way or not.
Of course, Krill more than missed the simple life aboard the harbinger, where most humans were relatively educated and competent, where most stupid injuries came about by overly idiotic actions rather than ignorance – a point could be argued to which one of those things was worse, but, for the moment, Krill was under the impression that willful idiocy was still better than ignorance because at least they knew why they were stupid, and generally openly admitted it to Krill, whereas working with the general populace forced him to have to be patient and understanding towards people who just didn't know any better.
Apparently telling people they are stupid to their faces is seen as off-color in the human medical world even though that is probably exactly what some of the people needed to hear.
Again, he found himself wishing for the harbinger, and for the return of the captain – the biggest idiot of them all.
He idly wondered how he was doing on his little trip across the universe.
He wondered how Sunny was doing, exploring the human world on her own two feet?
He wished he knew when they would be back together.
The UNSC had given them extended shore leave, but they had never specified how long it was going to be, seeming to hint that it was contingent on how the captain felt.
Well…
Krill was under the impression the captain needed to get his ass back here so he would stop having to pull things out of people's butts.
Speaking of pulling things out of people's butts' he was on ER rotation today.
He found that the ER could be the most interesting, or the most infuriating part of a hospital.
Just the other day he had led the surgical team that reattached someone's arm, but then the day before that he had been in the ER to inform a woman that, yes your shortness of breath likely comes from the run you just went on after years of never having exercised.
He took his clipboard and walked into the human waiting room.
He could write a paper on what sort of things it was important for a medical professional to keep in mind when treating humans.
But here was an example of his typical day:
-Isn't this the second time I have seen little Jimmy in here for sticking something up his nose? I understand that he really loves playing with those toys, but you have to understand there is a reason the label says five and up. Yes, it would probably be best if you did not allow him around things he could get stuck in his face.
-Your pregnant. Yes of course, I am sure. I can do a blood test if you like. I know you said you are not sexually active, but I have looked at this blood test twice and a stick test twice and it says you are pregnant. Well, what do you consider sexually active... mmhmmm... Mmmhmmm... well I think it is probably my job to inform you that it is still sex even if the woman is on top.
-You just... fell on it huh? So, you were doing household chores... Naked... And you just so happened to slip and as you were slipping, this item was magically vacuumed up into your colon. Mmmmm hmmm… quick question. Where was this potato located for you to have fallen on it like that? Well, no sir, I am afraid that we probably won't be able to get it out manually, you are going to need a gastrointestinal specialist for that.
-Yes sir, your chest pain probably has something to do with all the cocaine you have been snorting. Cocaine tends to do that to people.
-Ok you are a diabetic trying to control your blood sugar. Ok, I am glad to hear that you have worked on toning down your sugar consumption, that's good, but I am still very concerned about your sugar levels. This is far too high, and I am extremely concerned. Let's go through your diet and see what you have been eating. Have you cut back on soft drinks? Yes, and now you drink a lot of fruit juice... ahh... I see. Well ma'am fruit juice just so happens to contain a lot of sugar, which might be why your blood sugar is so high. Might I suggest drinking some water?
-Ah finally, a real emergency. Yes, your grandmother's breathing problems worry me greatly. Let's get her back in to do an EKG, make sure nothing is going on with her heart. I am glad you brought her in when you did.
-Yes, little Susie is going to be fine. I am glad she knew how to use her epi-pen, excellent work Susie!
-No, I don't care that you have been waiting four hours to see the doctor. Your child has a mild stomachache, their child is having intermittent seizures. No, I will not be calling the medical director in to see you about this.
-Well, that's probably why it hurts so much. The condom is not supposed to cover the balls too.
-No matter how much you deny your use of opiates, when you came in here you weren't breathing and when I gave you Narcan you started breathing again, so I know where my vote is. Please try not to deny these things to your medical professional next time. It is not my job to call the cops. No, I am not going to rat you out. Yes, you could die if you don't tell me about past drug use no matter what it is.
-You got a WHAT in your WHERE!? Why would you stick a toothpick in there? No sir generally most people are not ailed with an itchy urethra, in fact I am pretty sure that is not a thing. Look, I am not judging you sir, but please stop sticking pointy things up into places where they do not belong because you could cause permanent damage.
-Ouch... now remind me again why you were trying to ride your skateboard down the stairs? And you openly admit that you are not good at skating... Because you saw a video? I am very glad you know it was a dumb idea because at least I don't have to say it.
-Ma'am this says analgesic not anal-gesic, the pills are taken orally not as a suppository.
-You have been bleeding once a month for ten years and you are just now coming in about that? I am sorry, but how old are you again? Yes, ma'am this is very normal, here let me get you a pamphlet to read, and if you have any questions feel free to ask one of the nurses.
-So, you don't have any medical history. Well, are you taking any medications? That sure is a lot of medications for someone who does not have any medical history. This one looks like it is for high blood pressure... Sir just because the medication is helping you manage your high blood pressure does not mean that your high blood pressure is cured!
-When I said stay away from beer and only drink clear liquids for the next days, that did not include vodka!
-I know vodka does have alcohol in it, but pouring it on your open sore sure did not help anything, and now you are probably going to need a plastic surgeon to fix this.
-No ma'am you have to put ear drops in both ears. No, the ears are not connected. Yes, your eardrums and you know... your brain are kind of in the way. No there is not a tube that just goes straight through.
-Please stop licking your wound!
-Um no, those bumps on your tongue are not cancer.... They are taste buds.
-Yes, that it a uvula... Yes, it is supposed to be there.
-What made you think sticking ice cubes up your anus would help with your fever? Well, it will not and now you have frost bite in your rectum.
-Sooooo uhhhhh… it was the smell that got you to come in and not the... Maggots?
Krill groaned in relief as he went to clock out.
”Tough day?"
Someone asked,
"I think something needs to be done about medical education on your planet."
The human laughed.
"We have been trying for more than two thousand years. Good lucky making it any better than it already is."
Previous First Next
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.
submitted by maximusaemilius to HFY [link] [comments]
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
So uhhh yeah, remember two chapters ago when I said we don’t get more on Sunny and Krill while Adam is gone?
I forgot this chapter…
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
He had no idea why he always seemed to end up in this insane hellscape, but here he was...
Again…
Shit…
Only the other day he had been caught out in an electrical storm while trying to commute his way to work, which he hadn't particularly appreciated, especially not when massive balls of frozen ice came pelting from the sky with enough power to tear open skin.
What the fuck is this planet!?
Even the humans had been running for cover, and that was saying something!
He would very much have preferred a job where he wasn't in constant danger of getting murdered by the elements on a regular basis.
But this was earth, one day he could be enjoying the sun, the next he was risking heat death, the next he was almost blown away by the wind, and the day after that he was almost whisked away by minor flooding.
Of course, it was either walking to work, or taking public transit which was probably even more dangerous, considering that it had humans on board.
Humans who were half asleep, humans who were strung out on drugs, humans with children, humans with dangerous pets.
Then of course there were the more than mildly xenophobic humans, who were, somehow, under the impression that Krill was there to steal earthling jobs, which was not the case at all considering that he had volunteered his time for free.
Krill had no need of monetary compensation, to him, the work was the reward.
He leaned something new every day.
And now, with his current stint working in a human hospital, he was becoming even more acquainted with humanity... not entirely sure if that was in a good way or not.
Of course, Krill more than missed the simple life aboard the harbinger, where most humans were relatively educated and competent, where most stupid injuries came about by overly idiotic actions rather than ignorance – a point could be argued to which one of those things was worse, but, for the moment, Krill was under the impression that willful idiocy was still better than ignorance because at least they knew why they were stupid, and generally openly admitted it to Krill, whereas working with the general populace forced him to have to be patient and understanding towards people who just didn't know any better.
Apparently telling people they are stupid to their faces is seen as off-color in the human medical world even though that is probably exactly what some of the people needed to hear.
Again, he found himself wishing for the harbinger, and for the return of the captain – the biggest idiot of them all.
He idly wondered how he was doing on his little trip across the universe.
He wondered how Sunny was doing, exploring the human world on her own two feet?
He wished he knew when they would be back together.
The UNSC had given them extended shore leave, but they had never specified how long it was going to be, seeming to hint that it was contingent on how the captain felt.
Well…
Krill was under the impression the captain needed to get his ass back here so he would stop having to pull things out of people's butts.
Speaking of pulling things out of people's butts' he was on ER rotation today.
He found that the ER could be the most interesting, or the most infuriating part of a hospital.
Just the other day he had led the surgical team that reattached someone's arm, but then the day before that he had been in the ER to inform a woman that, yes your shortness of breath likely comes from the run you just went on after years of never having exercised.
He took his clipboard and walked into the human waiting room.
He could write a paper on what sort of things it was important for a medical professional to keep in mind when treating humans.
But here was an example of his typical day:
-Isn't this the second time I have seen little Jimmy in here for sticking something up his nose? I understand that he really loves playing with those toys, but you have to understand there is a reason the label says five and up. Yes, it would probably be best if you did not allow him around things he could get stuck in his face.
-Your pregnant. Yes of course, I am sure. I can do a blood test if you like. I know you said you are not sexually active, but I have looked at this blood test twice and a stick test twice and it says you are pregnant. Well, what do you consider sexually active... mmhmmm... Mmmhmmm... well I think it is probably my job to inform you that it is still sex even if the woman is on top.
-You just... fell on it huh? So, you were doing household chores... Naked... And you just so happened to slip and as you were slipping, this item was magically vacuumed up into your colon. Mmmmm hmmm… quick question. Where was this potato located for you to have fallen on it like that? Well, no sir, I am afraid that we probably won't be able to get it out manually, you are going to need a gastrointestinal specialist for that.
-Yes sir, your chest pain probably has something to do with all the cocaine you have been snorting. Cocaine tends to do that to people.
-Ok you are a diabetic trying to control your blood sugar. Ok, I am glad to hear that you have worked on toning down your sugar consumption, that's good, but I am still very concerned about your sugar levels. This is far too high, and I am extremely concerned. Let's go through your diet and see what you have been eating. Have you cut back on soft drinks? Yes, and now you drink a lot of fruit juice... ahh... I see. Well ma'am fruit juice just so happens to contain a lot of sugar, which might be why your blood sugar is so high. Might I suggest drinking some water?
-Ah finally, a real emergency. Yes, your grandmother's breathing problems worry me greatly. Let's get her back in to do an EKG, make sure nothing is going on with her heart. I am glad you brought her in when you did.
-Yes, little Susie is going to be fine. I am glad she knew how to use her epi-pen, excellent work Susie!
-No, I don't care that you have been waiting four hours to see the doctor. Your child has a mild stomachache, their child is having intermittent seizures. No, I will not be calling the medical director in to see you about this.
-Well, that's probably why it hurts so much. The condom is not supposed to cover the balls too.
-No matter how much you deny your use of opiates, when you came in here you weren't breathing and when I gave you Narcan you started breathing again, so I know where my vote is. Please try not to deny these things to your medical professional next time. It is not my job to call the cops. No, I am not going to rat you out. Yes, you could die if you don't tell me about past drug use no matter what it is.
-You got a WHAT in your WHERE!? Why would you stick a toothpick in there? No sir generally most people are not ailed with an itchy urethra, in fact I am pretty sure that is not a thing. Look, I am not judging you sir, but please stop sticking pointy things up into places where they do not belong because you could cause permanent damage.
-Ouch... now remind me again why you were trying to ride your skateboard down the stairs? And you openly admit that you are not good at skating... Because you saw a video? I am very glad you know it was a dumb idea because at least I don't have to say it.
-Ma'am this says analgesic not anal-gesic, the pills are taken orally not as a suppository.
-You have been bleeding once a month for ten years and you are just now coming in about that? I am sorry, but how old are you again? Yes, ma'am this is very normal, here let me get you a pamphlet to read, and if you have any questions feel free to ask one of the nurses.
-So, you don't have any medical history. Well, are you taking any medications? That sure is a lot of medications for someone who does not have any medical history. This one looks like it is for high blood pressure... Sir just because the medication is helping you manage your high blood pressure does not mean that your high blood pressure is cured!
-When I said stay away from beer and only drink clear liquids for the next days, that did not include vodka!
-I know vodka does have alcohol in it, but pouring it on your open sore sure did not help anything, and now you are probably going to need a plastic surgeon to fix this.
-No ma'am you have to put ear drops in both ears. No, the ears are not connected. Yes, your eardrums and you know... your brain are kind of in the way. No there is not a tube that just goes straight through.
-Please stop licking your wound!
-Um no, those bumps on your tongue are not cancer.... They are taste buds.
-Yes, that it a uvula... Yes, it is supposed to be there.
-What made you think sticking ice cubes up your anus would help with your fever? Well, it will not and now you have frost bite in your rectum.
-Sooooo uhhhhh… it was the smell that got you to come in and not the... Maggots?
Krill groaned in relief as he went to clock out.
”Tough day?"
Someone asked,
"I think something needs to be done about medical education on your planet."
The human laughed.
"We have been trying for more than two thousand years. Good lucky making it any better than it already is."
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.
2023.05.30 12:10 The-Incredible-Lurk The Fred Armisen Look
I wanted to discuss a couple of things about the finale and an earlier scene in the series I love:
I think one of the most interesting scenes in Barry is the assassination attempt in the jail interrogation/interview scene.
Fred Armisen is making the face. You know the one.
I was thinking about it and I think that interplay can be dived into further.
If we extend ourselves to believe that there could be a popular assassin TikTok content team, then let’s extend the narrative in that direction.
Barry foils the team, not because he recognises Fred as an assassin, but because he potentially recognises him as an actor.
The setup for the assassination attempt would/should have been from Fred, but he froze. And the camera man panicked.
Barry might have recognised the performance leading up to that moment, because he is actually a good actor, and his journey through acting made him good at one thing - recognising honesty and intention.
Extend the supposition:
He wanted to learn to act because he wanted to learn how to feel emotions again.
We can then understand this about Barry. He, throughout the entire series is surrounded by people who have sold him a lie.
If they can’t, Barry has been unflinching in his dismissal of their further worth.
Firstly fuches, this self admitted (and redeemed?) heartless man; a man that warped the broken shell of Barry fresh from war into this obedient child, desperate for love and purpose.
He then meets: Cousineau, a self absorbed and self-centred hack, who has inflicted monumental emotional damage to everyone in his life. A man who fails every shot at redemption in the search for fame and recognition. A man who is able to speak softly and patiently and who is able to empathise with Barry at every twist and turn until the most important moment.
Sally, a motherless woman who is reduced to a shell of a mother through her own self-absorption (which immediately shifts into a real mother when held to the fire of her mistakes. Redeemed through her final act of preservation - running from Barry with her child, the first truly good person she has probably met). A woman who has seen Barry for more then the killer, she saw Barry, this passionate and unflinchingly loyal man.
She is with him until she realises that he isn’t good for her son. In the moment that he discounts her honest and morally good direction - “give yourself in” - and offers self-absorbed arrogance in return: “I’ve been redeemed,etc”
Barry has his moment of redemption, however fleetingly, when he realised that his child is gone from him and he’s no longer a guardian. Just that breath of realisation when he understands that Sally has taken their child away from him, and that she was right, and there was nothing left to do but do the right thing.
It’s magnificent story telling!
Anyway, I forgot to mention my head cannon for the jail scene. I think that Fred Armison’s face was actually part of a performance that he was trying to take part in. I imagine it’s a TikTok trend in Barryverse where you do a “filter face” for however long to hold a record or something.
I love this idea because it plays with media literacy - Bill Hader as a director litters Barry with these kinds of subversions. (See the bomb app that someone mentioned in another post)
Anyway, that’s my two cents! Hit me up if you want to discuss the finale more! Namely: Hanks final scene, Fuches the redeemer, and the Chekhov’s “You want to kiss the gun?
submitted by The-Incredible-Lurk to Barry [link] [comments]
I think one of the most interesting scenes in Barry is the assassination attempt in the jail interrogation/interview scene.
Fred Armisen is making the face. You know the one.
I was thinking about it and I think that interplay can be dived into further.
If we extend ourselves to believe that there could be a popular assassin TikTok content team, then let’s extend the narrative in that direction.
Barry foils the team, not because he recognises Fred as an assassin, but because he potentially recognises him as an actor.
The setup for the assassination attempt would/should have been from Fred, but he froze. And the camera man panicked.
Barry might have recognised the performance leading up to that moment, because he is actually a good actor, and his journey through acting made him good at one thing - recognising honesty and intention.
Extend the supposition:
He wanted to learn to act because he wanted to learn how to feel emotions again.
We can then understand this about Barry. He, throughout the entire series is surrounded by people who have sold him a lie.
If they can’t, Barry has been unflinching in his dismissal of their further worth.
Firstly fuches, this self admitted (and redeemed?) heartless man; a man that warped the broken shell of Barry fresh from war into this obedient child, desperate for love and purpose.
He then meets: Cousineau, a self absorbed and self-centred hack, who has inflicted monumental emotional damage to everyone in his life. A man who fails every shot at redemption in the search for fame and recognition. A man who is able to speak softly and patiently and who is able to empathise with Barry at every twist and turn until the most important moment.
Sally, a motherless woman who is reduced to a shell of a mother through her own self-absorption (which immediately shifts into a real mother when held to the fire of her mistakes. Redeemed through her final act of preservation - running from Barry with her child, the first truly good person she has probably met). A woman who has seen Barry for more then the killer, she saw Barry, this passionate and unflinchingly loyal man.
She is with him until she realises that he isn’t good for her son. In the moment that he discounts her honest and morally good direction - “give yourself in” - and offers self-absorbed arrogance in return: “I’ve been redeemed,etc”
Barry has his moment of redemption, however fleetingly, when he realised that his child is gone from him and he’s no longer a guardian. Just that breath of realisation when he understands that Sally has taken their child away from him, and that she was right, and there was nothing left to do but do the right thing.
It’s magnificent story telling!
Anyway, I forgot to mention my head cannon for the jail scene. I think that Fred Armison’s face was actually part of a performance that he was trying to take part in. I imagine it’s a TikTok trend in Barryverse where you do a “filter face” for however long to hold a record or something.
I love this idea because it plays with media literacy - Bill Hader as a director litters Barry with these kinds of subversions. (See the bomb app that someone mentioned in another post)
Anyway, that’s my two cents! Hit me up if you want to discuss the finale more! Namely: Hanks final scene, Fuches the redeemer, and the Chekhov’s “You want to kiss the gun?
2023.05.30 10:13 maximusaemilius Humans are way harder to kill with poison than one might think...
Another galactic summit, more issues to deal with, and more problems to discuss, not the largest being the Burg war, and the attack on earth. Though it had been thwarted by the planet's natural hellish landscape, there were still discussions to be made about whether the Rundi and the Vrul would help to provide a defense Nexus to the remaining planets. As well as disaster relief on the Gromm home world.
The GA summit chambers at the Rundi home world were, once again, rife with alien lifeforms. It was also, once again, rife with Rundi underlings who were trying very hard not to freak out with all the duties that were being placed on their backs.
At least one thing was made clear this time, there was no point in getting human food for the summit, since the human delegates always insisted on trying all the other alien food. Leave enough of the nectar orbs from the Drev home world out, and that seemed to keep the humans happy enough.
Dr. Krill accompanied the commander into the summit, as was usual.
Sunny was not with them today, seeing as she had work to do back aboard the ship.
That left just the two of them.
Felt almost like old times.
The captain was dressed up in his fancy UNSC uniform, and as such, he was obligated to behave.
Apparently behaving didn't mean avoiding arguments with his most important doctor, who –despite being a complete genius– was hardly capable of getting the captain to agree with him.
"I just think that there should be better security at these things. All of the most important people in the galaxy are here."
"Krill, there is an entire armada outside, I hardly think we need to worry about being attacked by the Burg. Besides, their attack on earth completely broke their spirits and they have retreated back to their own space. We haven’t heard anything from them in a month now… There is no way they would try getting in here."
Krill crossed both sets of arms,
"I disagree, commander. I have been looking into human history of warfare, and I think that a spy could easily-"
*"Krill calm down will you. Besides, spies rely on the fact that you can disguise yourself to look like the other side. The Burg are so fugly that they'd be noticed in half an instant.
They came around the corner, and the commander was nearly knocked onto his back as an Iotin brushed past, hurrying from the banquet hall.
The commander tripped back into a wall,
"Woah watch... yourself."
The Iotin disappeared around the next corner, and the commander looked after him with a frown.
"Didn't know those guys could move that fast. Wonder why he could be in such a hurry?”
Krill waved it off as the commander poked his head into the banquet room,
"Oh look, pink orbs!"
"Commander, don't you think we should wait until after the summit, when the food is being served?”
The man waved a hand,
"Oh no one will notice one or two of them missing."
He quickly snuck into the room and Krill rolled his eyes as the man came out munching on one of the pink fruits.
”Maybe three? I mean four orb fruits are not much right?”
"And they made you leader of the fleet?”
"Yes. Also that means I deserve at least five orb fruit… Also, technically they are thinking of making me leader of the entire Galactic armada, but I digress."
"Lord help us all."
The captain made a face.
"What? It's true!”
The man shook his head.
"No, not you, this fruit tastes... Weird."
"Good weird or bad weird?”
He shrugged and took another bite.
"Weird… but not bad enough for me to stop eating it, so good weird I guess?”
He stuffed the rest of the orb into his mouth and licked the juices off his fingers.
Krill sighed,
"I still can't believe they would choose you."
"Better believe it."
The two of them walked into the main conference chamber to sit down with the other delegates. The human delegation was near the top tier, and so that is where they went, taking a seat just to the right of the Rundi chairwoman's box.
The entire room was alive with the sound of alien life.
Commander Vir leaned over to speak with one of the delegates and Krill was left to watch the room.
Most of the delegations were here, though the Iotin delegation had arrived late. Seemed strange considering he had seen one of their number not long ago.
The light dimmed a couple of times, and the chairwoman took her pedestal and began to greet the delegates. Krill looked on politely as was his want, though he wasn't entirely interested in the whole thing.
The charwoman could be rather long-winded when she got going.
He sat there through a good few minutes of it, glancing over at the other human delegates on occasion. Vir looked almost sleepy, though that was almost to be expected, he was never very good at politics, even though he was involved in them so much.
He turned back to the delegation.
The commander shifted uncomfortably in his seat during a discussion about intergalactic trade laws, and Krill looked over again.
The man had taken to licking his lips repeatedly.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah fine, just thirsty."
He muttered, Krill let it go, though something made him turn back not to long after. The human was rubbing at his mouth, which appeared red, though he supposed that was supposed to be expected. Little lines of sweat were trickling down from his hairline.
He scooted a bit closer.
"Commander, are you feeling alright?”
He was waved off,
"Yeah, I'm ok, it just got a little hot in here as all... Feeling kind of... Faint. Maybe a little nauseous. I am sure I'll be fine. Probably just need something to eat."
The talks continued, but Krill wasn't focused on them anymore. The commander was not looking very good. He was sweating enough that the collar of his dress shirt was almost soaked. The tint of his face had gone from healthy blush to a yellow parlor. He looked as if he was about to pass out. A few of the other human delegates had started to notice.
Someone placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Commander are you feeling alright."
"I... I think I... Just need to... Walk around."
His voice was slurred.
"I don't think that's a good idea commander?"
Krill said turning his head to face him.
His pupils were unusually wide, despite the dark space around them.
*"The human was breathing hard now, one hand over his chest. His dry mouth from earlier was gone, replaced by saliva production so excessive he was having to clear his mouth every couple of seconds.
He looked at Krill, and the expression on his face was enough.
"I think I'm going to be sick."
The other delegates had leaned over, sensing the commotion, and they stood to let Krill and the commander pass as he stood and wobbled his way towards the stairs.
Krill could sense something was wrong almost immediately.
Dizziness, shortness of breath, nausea…
"Someone, help him walk."
Krill ordered, not caring about the delegation anymore.
Their sudden movement had caused a bit of commotion on one side of the room. The commander paused on the stairwell, and instead of turning towards the exit, he turned towards the delegation floor. Krill tried to grab him, tried to stop him, but the human – even in his weakened state – was still too strong.
A muttering had grown up around the crowd as he staggered onto the floor.
The chairwoman stopped speaking looking on in confusion.
"Commander, are you alright?”
The human paused at the center of the floor.
Everyone in the room was now watching him.
In the main lighting he looked absolutely horrific.
He was so pale his skin was almost yellow. The skin around his mouth was red. Sweat drenched the side of his face. He was drooling so badly that it was, at this point, impossible to control.
"The... food... Has been poisoned."
He choked out through heaving breaths.
And then he collapsed to his knees, vomiting violently on the white marble floor.
The entire delegation stood, shock and uproar filling the room. Krill ran over to help the human whose arms and hands were shaking as he tried to hold himself up.
The sight was horrifying. Saliva dripped in strings from his mouth. His clothing and hands were stained pink from the orb fruit from earlier.
Krill remembered he said it tasted weird.
Could he really have been poisoned?
A couple other human delegates vaulted over the railings and onto the floor, grabbing the man by the arms as his strength began to fail him. His body was shaking violently now.
Krill practically scream-ordered one of the assistances to grab his medical kit number three B (the one for poisons and toxins)
The entire room was in an uproar.
Krill jammed his finger at the Iotin representatives,
"Don't let them leave!"
The Iotins stood in shock as the delegations turned on them.
The Drev delegation, weaponless, still managed to make a circle around the group.
"Someone, go grab the food, and get me a sample!"
The commander had been rolled onto his side. His body continued to reject whatever toxin it had been given, though Krill desperately tried to avoid him aspirating and choking. That only got harder once the man began to cease and convulse. He had to reduce the absorption, but he also needed to keep the man from throwing it back up.
His kit was open on the floor, and he had the others help him with the tubes and medication. Adam wouldn't be helping him now, so he would have to get directly to the stomach himself.
He had one of the other humans hold him, as he inserted the tube and began with the activated charcoal. Hopefully that would be enough, before they got test results back. One of the Rundi came sprinting into the room, holding one of the pink orbs, handing it over to one of Krill's assistants who was ordered to test the fruit with one of the testing strips.
They did as told and the entire group waited for the results.
When the strip turned blue, Krill knew what it was.
It was at least similar to some toxins he had seen before and attacked the central nervous system in humans through absorption in the gut. The dosage had been too high however, and while the human could potentially choke to death, much of the toxin had already been rejected by the body.
"Someone cut open his sleeve."
The uniform was ignored as the sleeve was cut open and Krill placed an IV reaching into his kit for the antitoxin.
"You... Just have that lying around?"
One of the other humans asked and Krill nodded.
"I work with humans. I expect them to ingest stupid things that could kill them on a regular basis."
He was calm on the outside like a doctor should be, but on the inside, he was panicking horribly. The commander was not looking good.
But he placed the IV and made the injection.
"Someone test the other food. I want to know if this was planned for just the humans or for the entire delegation.”
His orders were quickly followed, and they found the toxin in almost every dish that had been in the banquet hall.
"You should be glad it was the human who took it first."
Krill was saying, the chairwoman asked:
"Why is that?"
"Because, the human body is the only one that would have noticed the poisoning before it was too late. The human brain responds to toxins that affect the central nervous system with dizziness and nausea. For any other species, you would have been dead before the symptoms kicked in."
On the floor the human convulsions had stopped. His heart rate was decreasing now, but Krill was keeping an eye on it.
The Iotins were still looking around in panic as the Drev glowered at them.
"What is the meaning of this?”
Their leader called. Krill turned on them anger in every line of his body,
"We saw one of you leaving the room before we entered, and they were in a hurry. So, forgive me if I am a little suspicious."
More uproar, but the Drev kept the delegates in check.
”Come on, commander."
Krill muttered. If he was going to wake up, it would be in the next few minutes, if only for a little bit.
One of the other humans had ripped open his uniform jacket, removing his tie and pulling the coat off, discarding it to the side. Krill was more than grateful for their help. Even more pleased when the commander opened his eyes bleary, his pupils almost back to normal.
"What... happened?"
He slurred,
"Congratulations, sir! You saved the entire delegation from death by poisoning. You're a hero!”
He groaned,
"I don't feel like one."
He leaned his head back onto the floor.
"Catch the bastards who did this for me will you?"
He licked his lips,
"I'm gonna pass out again now."
And then he did as promised.
Once again, the human body had managed to save the day.
Because as it turns out, humans are actually a lot harder to poison that one might first assume. Give them to high of a dose, and they will throw it up, give them too low of a dose and it won't kill them.
Plus, the human body is very good at letting everyone know when something is wrong.
It is especially difficult to poison a human when their best friend is an experienced doctor.
Whoever had done this, had not succeeded in their end goal.
And they wouldn't likely be free for long.
Previous First Next
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
submitted by maximusaemilius to humansarespaceorcs [link] [comments]
The GA summit chambers at the Rundi home world were, once again, rife with alien lifeforms. It was also, once again, rife with Rundi underlings who were trying very hard not to freak out with all the duties that were being placed on their backs.
At least one thing was made clear this time, there was no point in getting human food for the summit, since the human delegates always insisted on trying all the other alien food. Leave enough of the nectar orbs from the Drev home world out, and that seemed to keep the humans happy enough.
Dr. Krill accompanied the commander into the summit, as was usual.
Sunny was not with them today, seeing as she had work to do back aboard the ship.
That left just the two of them.
Felt almost like old times.
The captain was dressed up in his fancy UNSC uniform, and as such, he was obligated to behave.
Apparently behaving didn't mean avoiding arguments with his most important doctor, who –despite being a complete genius– was hardly capable of getting the captain to agree with him.
"I just think that there should be better security at these things. All of the most important people in the galaxy are here."
"Krill, there is an entire armada outside, I hardly think we need to worry about being attacked by the Burg. Besides, their attack on earth completely broke their spirits and they have retreated back to their own space. We haven’t heard anything from them in a month now… There is no way they would try getting in here."
Krill crossed both sets of arms,
"I disagree, commander. I have been looking into human history of warfare, and I think that a spy could easily-"
*"Krill calm down will you. Besides, spies rely on the fact that you can disguise yourself to look like the other side. The Burg are so fugly that they'd be noticed in half an instant.
They came around the corner, and the commander was nearly knocked onto his back as an Iotin brushed past, hurrying from the banquet hall.
The commander tripped back into a wall,
"Woah watch... yourself."
The Iotin disappeared around the next corner, and the commander looked after him with a frown.
"Didn't know those guys could move that fast. Wonder why he could be in such a hurry?”
Krill waved it off as the commander poked his head into the banquet room,
"Oh look, pink orbs!"
"Commander, don't you think we should wait until after the summit, when the food is being served?”
The man waved a hand,
"Oh no one will notice one or two of them missing."
He quickly snuck into the room and Krill rolled his eyes as the man came out munching on one of the pink fruits.
”Maybe three? I mean four orb fruits are not much right?”
"And they made you leader of the fleet?”
"Yes. Also that means I deserve at least five orb fruit… Also, technically they are thinking of making me leader of the entire Galactic armada, but I digress."
"Lord help us all."
The captain made a face.
"What? It's true!”
The man shook his head.
"No, not you, this fruit tastes... Weird."
"Good weird or bad weird?”
He shrugged and took another bite.
"Weird… but not bad enough for me to stop eating it, so good weird I guess?”
He stuffed the rest of the orb into his mouth and licked the juices off his fingers.
Krill sighed,
"I still can't believe they would choose you."
"Better believe it."
The two of them walked into the main conference chamber to sit down with the other delegates. The human delegation was near the top tier, and so that is where they went, taking a seat just to the right of the Rundi chairwoman's box.
The entire room was alive with the sound of alien life.
Commander Vir leaned over to speak with one of the delegates and Krill was left to watch the room.
Most of the delegations were here, though the Iotin delegation had arrived late. Seemed strange considering he had seen one of their number not long ago.
The light dimmed a couple of times, and the chairwoman took her pedestal and began to greet the delegates. Krill looked on politely as was his want, though he wasn't entirely interested in the whole thing.
The charwoman could be rather long-winded when she got going.
He sat there through a good few minutes of it, glancing over at the other human delegates on occasion. Vir looked almost sleepy, though that was almost to be expected, he was never very good at politics, even though he was involved in them so much.
He turned back to the delegation.
The commander shifted uncomfortably in his seat during a discussion about intergalactic trade laws, and Krill looked over again.
The man had taken to licking his lips repeatedly.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah fine, just thirsty."
He muttered, Krill let it go, though something made him turn back not to long after. The human was rubbing at his mouth, which appeared red, though he supposed that was supposed to be expected. Little lines of sweat were trickling down from his hairline.
He scooted a bit closer.
"Commander, are you feeling alright?”
He was waved off,
"Yeah, I'm ok, it just got a little hot in here as all... Feeling kind of... Faint. Maybe a little nauseous. I am sure I'll be fine. Probably just need something to eat."
The talks continued, but Krill wasn't focused on them anymore. The commander was not looking very good. He was sweating enough that the collar of his dress shirt was almost soaked. The tint of his face had gone from healthy blush to a yellow parlor. He looked as if he was about to pass out. A few of the other human delegates had started to notice.
Someone placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Commander are you feeling alright."
"I... I think I... Just need to... Walk around."
His voice was slurred.
"I don't think that's a good idea commander?"
Krill said turning his head to face him.
His pupils were unusually wide, despite the dark space around them.
*"The human was breathing hard now, one hand over his chest. His dry mouth from earlier was gone, replaced by saliva production so excessive he was having to clear his mouth every couple of seconds.
He looked at Krill, and the expression on his face was enough.
"I think I'm going to be sick."
The other delegates had leaned over, sensing the commotion, and they stood to let Krill and the commander pass as he stood and wobbled his way towards the stairs.
Krill could sense something was wrong almost immediately.
Dizziness, shortness of breath, nausea…
"Someone, help him walk."
Krill ordered, not caring about the delegation anymore.
Their sudden movement had caused a bit of commotion on one side of the room. The commander paused on the stairwell, and instead of turning towards the exit, he turned towards the delegation floor. Krill tried to grab him, tried to stop him, but the human – even in his weakened state – was still too strong.
A muttering had grown up around the crowd as he staggered onto the floor.
The chairwoman stopped speaking looking on in confusion.
"Commander, are you alright?”
The human paused at the center of the floor.
Everyone in the room was now watching him.
In the main lighting he looked absolutely horrific.
He was so pale his skin was almost yellow. The skin around his mouth was red. Sweat drenched the side of his face. He was drooling so badly that it was, at this point, impossible to control.
"The... food... Has been poisoned."
He choked out through heaving breaths.
And then he collapsed to his knees, vomiting violently on the white marble floor.
The entire delegation stood, shock and uproar filling the room. Krill ran over to help the human whose arms and hands were shaking as he tried to hold himself up.
The sight was horrifying. Saliva dripped in strings from his mouth. His clothing and hands were stained pink from the orb fruit from earlier.
Krill remembered he said it tasted weird.
Could he really have been poisoned?
A couple other human delegates vaulted over the railings and onto the floor, grabbing the man by the arms as his strength began to fail him. His body was shaking violently now.
Krill practically scream-ordered one of the assistances to grab his medical kit number three B (the one for poisons and toxins)
The entire room was in an uproar.
Krill jammed his finger at the Iotin representatives,
"Don't let them leave!"
The Iotins stood in shock as the delegations turned on them.
The Drev delegation, weaponless, still managed to make a circle around the group.
"Someone, go grab the food, and get me a sample!"
The commander had been rolled onto his side. His body continued to reject whatever toxin it had been given, though Krill desperately tried to avoid him aspirating and choking. That only got harder once the man began to cease and convulse. He had to reduce the absorption, but he also needed to keep the man from throwing it back up.
His kit was open on the floor, and he had the others help him with the tubes and medication. Adam wouldn't be helping him now, so he would have to get directly to the stomach himself.
He had one of the other humans hold him, as he inserted the tube and began with the activated charcoal. Hopefully that would be enough, before they got test results back. One of the Rundi came sprinting into the room, holding one of the pink orbs, handing it over to one of Krill's assistants who was ordered to test the fruit with one of the testing strips.
They did as told and the entire group waited for the results.
When the strip turned blue, Krill knew what it was.
It was at least similar to some toxins he had seen before and attacked the central nervous system in humans through absorption in the gut. The dosage had been too high however, and while the human could potentially choke to death, much of the toxin had already been rejected by the body.
"Someone cut open his sleeve."
The uniform was ignored as the sleeve was cut open and Krill placed an IV reaching into his kit for the antitoxin.
"You... Just have that lying around?"
One of the other humans asked and Krill nodded.
"I work with humans. I expect them to ingest stupid things that could kill them on a regular basis."
He was calm on the outside like a doctor should be, but on the inside, he was panicking horribly. The commander was not looking good.
But he placed the IV and made the injection.
"Someone test the other food. I want to know if this was planned for just the humans or for the entire delegation.”
His orders were quickly followed, and they found the toxin in almost every dish that had been in the banquet hall.
"You should be glad it was the human who took it first."
Krill was saying, the chairwoman asked:
"Why is that?"
"Because, the human body is the only one that would have noticed the poisoning before it was too late. The human brain responds to toxins that affect the central nervous system with dizziness and nausea. For any other species, you would have been dead before the symptoms kicked in."
On the floor the human convulsions had stopped. His heart rate was decreasing now, but Krill was keeping an eye on it.
The Iotins were still looking around in panic as the Drev glowered at them.
"What is the meaning of this?”
Their leader called. Krill turned on them anger in every line of his body,
"We saw one of you leaving the room before we entered, and they were in a hurry. So, forgive me if I am a little suspicious."
More uproar, but the Drev kept the delegates in check.
”Come on, commander."
Krill muttered. If he was going to wake up, it would be in the next few minutes, if only for a little bit.
One of the other humans had ripped open his uniform jacket, removing his tie and pulling the coat off, discarding it to the side. Krill was more than grateful for their help. Even more pleased when the commander opened his eyes bleary, his pupils almost back to normal.
"What... happened?"
He slurred,
"Congratulations, sir! You saved the entire delegation from death by poisoning. You're a hero!”
He groaned,
"I don't feel like one."
He leaned his head back onto the floor.
"Catch the bastards who did this for me will you?"
He licked his lips,
"I'm gonna pass out again now."
And then he did as promised.
Once again, the human body had managed to save the day.
Because as it turns out, humans are actually a lot harder to poison that one might first assume. Give them to high of a dose, and they will throw it up, give them too low of a dose and it won't kill them.
Plus, the human body is very good at letting everyone know when something is wrong.
It is especially difficult to poison a human when their best friend is an experienced doctor.
Whoever had done this, had not succeeded in their end goal.
And they wouldn't likely be free for long.
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
2023.05.30 10:10 maximusaemilius Empyrean Iris: 2-9: Poisoned (by Charlie Star)
FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Looking at the title, three guesses as to what happens…
Previous First Next
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Another galactic summit, more issues to deal with, and more problems to discuss, not the largest being the Burg war, and the attack on earth. Though it had been thwarted by the planet's natural hellish landscape, there were still discussions to be made about whether the Rundi and the Vrul would help to provide a defense Nexus to the remaining planets. As well as disaster relief on the Gromm home world.
The GA summit chambers at the Rundi home world were, once again, rife with alien lifeforms. It was also, once again, rife with Rundi underlings who were trying very hard not to freak out with all the duties that were being placed on their backs.
At least one thing was made clear this time, there was no point in getting human food for the summit, since the human delegates always insisted on trying all the other alien food. Leave enough of the nectar orbs from the Drev home world out, and that seemed to keep the humans happy enough.
Dr. Krill accompanied the commander into the summit, as was usual.
Sunny was not with them today, seeing as she had work to do back aboard the ship.
That left just the two of them.
Felt almost like old times.
The captain was dressed up in his fancy UNSC uniform, and as such, he was obligated to behave.
Apparently behaving didn't mean avoiding arguments with his most important doctor, who –despite being a complete genius– was hardly capable of getting the captain to agree with him.
"I just think that there should be better security at these things. All of the most important people in the galaxy are here."
"Krill, there is an entire armada outside, I hardly think we need to worry about being attacked by the Burg. Besides, their attack on earth completely broke their spirits and they have retreated back to their own space. We haven’t heard anything from them in a month now… There is no way they would try getting in here."
Krill crossed both sets of arms,
"I disagree, commander. I have been looking into human history of warfare, and I think that a spy could easily-"
*"Krill calm down will you. Besides, spies rely on the fact that you can disguise yourself to look like the other side. The Burg are so fugly that they'd be noticed in half an instant.
They came around the corner, and the commander was nearly knocked onto his back as an Iotin brushed past, hurrying from the banquet hall.
The commander tripped back into a wall,
"Woah watch... yourself."
The Iotin disappeared around the next corner, and the commander looked after him with a frown.
"Didn't know those guys could move that fast. Wonder why he could be in such a hurry?”
Krill waved it off as the commander poked his head into the banquet room,
"Oh look, pink orbs!"
"Commander, don't you think we should wait until after the summit, when the food is being served?”
The man waved a hand,
"Oh no one will notice one or two of them missing."
He quickly snuck into the room and Krill rolled his eyes as the man came out munching on one of the pink fruits.
”Maybe three? I mean four orb fruits are not much right?”
"And they made you leader of the fleet?”
"Yes. Also that means I deserve at least five orb fruit… Also, technically they are thinking of making me leader of the entire Galactic armada, but I digress."
"Lord help us all."
The captain made a face.
"What? It's true!”
The man shook his head.
"No, not you, this fruit tastes... Weird."
"Good weird or bad weird?”
He shrugged and took another bite.
"Weird… but not bad enough for me to stop eating it, so good weird I guess?”
He stuffed the rest of the orb into his mouth and licked the juices off his fingers.
Krill sighed,
"I still can't believe they would choose you."
"Better believe it."
The two of them walked into the main conference chamber to sit down with the other delegates. The human delegation was near the top tier, and so that is where they went, taking a seat just to the right of the Rundi chairwoman's box.
The entire room was alive with the sound of alien life.
Commander Vir leaned over to speak with one of the delegates and Krill was left to watch the room.
Most of the delegations were here, though the Iotin delegation had arrived late. Seemed strange considering he had seen one of their number not long ago.
The light dimmed a couple of times, and the chairwoman took her pedestal and began to greet the delegates. Krill looked on politely as was his want, though he wasn't entirely interested in the whole thing.
The charwoman could be rather long-winded when she got going.
He sat there through a good few minutes of it, glancing over at the other human delegates on occasion. Vir looked almost sleepy, though that was almost to be expected, he was never very good at politics, even though he was involved in them so much.
He turned back to the delegation.
The commander shifted uncomfortably in his seat during a discussion about intergalactic trade laws, and Krill looked over again.
The man had taken to licking his lips repeatedly.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah fine, just thirsty."
He muttered, Krill let it go, though something made him turn back not to long after. The human was rubbing at his mouth, which appeared red, though he supposed that was supposed to be expected. Little lines of sweat were trickling down from his hairline.
He scooted a bit closer.
"Commander, are you feeling alright?”
He was waved off,
"Yeah, I'm ok, it just got a little hot in here as all... Feeling kind of... Faint. Maybe a little nauseous. I am sure I'll be fine. Probably just need something to eat."
The talks continued, but Krill wasn't focused on them anymore. The commander was not looking very good. He was sweating enough that the collar of his dress shirt was almost soaked. The tint of his face had gone from healthy blush to a yellow parlor. He looked as if he was about to pass out. A few of the other human delegates had started to notice.
Someone placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Commander are you feeling alright."
"I... I think I... Just need to... Walk around."
His voice was slurred.
"I don't think that's a good idea commander?"
Krill said turning his head to face him.
His pupils were unusually wide, despite the dark space around them.
*"The human was breathing hard now, one hand over his chest. His dry mouth from earlier was gone, replaced by saliva production so excessive he was having to clear his mouth every couple of seconds.
He looked at Krill, and the expression on his face was enough.
"I think I'm going to be sick."
The other delegates had leaned over, sensing the commotion, and they stood to let Krill and the commander pass as he stood and wobbled his way towards the stairs.
Krill could sense something was wrong almost immediately.
Dizziness, shortness of breath, nausea…
"Someone, help him walk."
Krill ordered, not caring about the delegation anymore.
Their sudden movement had caused a bit of commotion on one side of the room. The commander paused on the stairwell, and instead of turning towards the exit, he turned towards the delegation floor. Krill tried to grab him, tried to stop him, but the human – even in his weakened state – was still too strong.
A muttering had grown up around the crowd as he staggered onto the floor.
The chairwoman stopped speaking looking on in confusion.
"Commander, are you alright?”
The human paused at the center of the floor.
Everyone in the room was now watching him.
In the main lighting he looked absolutely horrific.
He was so pale his skin was almost yellow. The skin around his mouth was red. Sweat drenched the side of his face. He was drooling so badly that it was, at this point, impossible to control.
"The... food... Has been poisoned."
He choked out through heaving breaths.
And then he collapsed to his knees, vomiting violently on the white marble floor.
The entire delegation stood, shock and uproar filling the room. Krill ran over to help the human whose arms and hands were shaking as he tried to hold himself up.
The sight was horrifying. Saliva dripped in strings from his mouth. His clothing and hands were stained pink from the orb fruit from earlier.
Krill remembered he said it tasted weird.
Could he really have been poisoned?
A couple other human delegates vaulted over the railings and onto the floor, grabbing the man by the arms as his strength began to fail him. His body was shaking violently now.
Krill practically scream-ordered one of the assistances to grab his medical kit number three B (the one for poisons and toxins)
The entire room was in an uproar.
Krill jammed his finger at the Iotin representatives,
"Don't let them leave!"
The Iotins stood in shock as the delegations turned on them.
The Drev delegation, weaponless, still managed to make a circle around the group.
"Someone, go grab the food, and get me a sample!"
The commander had been rolled onto his side. His body continued to reject whatever toxin it had been given, though Krill desperately tried to avoid him aspirating and choking. That only got harder once the man began to cease and convulse. He had to reduce the absorption, but he also needed to keep the man from throwing it back up.
His kit was open on the floor, and he had the others help him with the tubes and medication. Adam wouldn't be helping him now, so he would have to get directly to the stomach himself.
He had one of the other humans hold him, as he inserted the tube and began with the activated charcoal. Hopefully that would be enough, before they got test results back. One of the Rundi came sprinting into the room, holding one of the pink orbs, handing it over to one of Krill's assistants who was ordered to test the fruit with one of the testing strips.
They did as told and the entire group waited for the results.
When the strip turned blue, Krill knew what it was.
It was at least similar to some toxins he had seen before and attacked the central nervous system in humans through absorption in the gut. The dosage had been too high however, and while the human could potentially choke to death, much of the toxin had already been rejected by the body.
"Someone cut open his sleeve."
The uniform was ignored as the sleeve was cut open and Krill placed an IV reaching into his kit for the antitoxin.
"You... Just have that lying around?"
One of the other humans asked and Krill nodded.
"I work with humans. I expect them to ingest stupid things that could kill them on a regular basis."
He was calm on the outside like a doctor should be, but on the inside, he was panicking horribly. The commander was not looking good.
But he placed the IV and made the injection.
"Someone test the other food. I want to know if this was planned for just the humans or for the entire delegation.”
His orders were quickly followed, and they found the toxin in almost every dish that had been in the banquet hall.
"You should be glad it was the human who took it first."
Krill was saying, the chairwoman asked:
"Why is that?"
"Because, the human body is the only one that would have noticed the poisoning before it was too late. The human brain responds to toxins that affect the central nervous system with dizziness and nausea. For any other species, you would have been dead before the symptoms kicked in."
On the floor the human convulsions had stopped. His heart rate was decreasing now, but Krill was keeping an eye on it.
The Iotins were still looking around in panic as the Drev glowered at them.
"What is the meaning of this?”
Their leader called. Krill turned on them anger in every line of his body,
"We saw one of you leaving the room before we entered, and they were in a hurry. So, forgive me if I am a little suspicious."
More uproar, but the Drev kept the delegates in check.
”Come on, commander."
Krill muttered. If he was going to wake up, it would be in the next few minutes, if only for a little bit.
One of the other humans had ripped open his uniform jacket, removing his tie and pulling the coat off, discarding it to the side. Krill was more than grateful for their help. Even more pleased when the commander opened his eyes bleary, his pupils almost back to normal.
"What... happened?"
He slurred,
"Congratulations, sir! You saved the entire delegation from death by poisoning. You're a hero!”
He groaned,
"I don't feel like one."
He leaned his head back onto the floor.
"Catch the bastards who did this for me will you?"
He licked his lips,
"I'm gonna pass out again now."
And then he did as promised.
Once again, the human body had managed to save the day.
Because as it turns out, humans are actually a lot harder to poison that one might first assume. Give them to high of a dose, and they will throw it up, give them too low of a dose and it won't kill them.
Plus, the human body is very good at letting everyone know when something is wrong.
It is especially difficult to poison a human when their best friend is an experienced doctor.
Whoever had done this, had not succeeded in their end goal.
And they wouldn't likely be free for long.
Previous First Next
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.
submitted by maximusaemilius to HFY [link] [comments]
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Looking at the title, three guesses as to what happens…
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
The GA summit chambers at the Rundi home world were, once again, rife with alien lifeforms. It was also, once again, rife with Rundi underlings who were trying very hard not to freak out with all the duties that were being placed on their backs.
At least one thing was made clear this time, there was no point in getting human food for the summit, since the human delegates always insisted on trying all the other alien food. Leave enough of the nectar orbs from the Drev home world out, and that seemed to keep the humans happy enough.
Dr. Krill accompanied the commander into the summit, as was usual.
Sunny was not with them today, seeing as she had work to do back aboard the ship.
That left just the two of them.
Felt almost like old times.
The captain was dressed up in his fancy UNSC uniform, and as such, he was obligated to behave.
Apparently behaving didn't mean avoiding arguments with his most important doctor, who –despite being a complete genius– was hardly capable of getting the captain to agree with him.
"I just think that there should be better security at these things. All of the most important people in the galaxy are here."
"Krill, there is an entire armada outside, I hardly think we need to worry about being attacked by the Burg. Besides, their attack on earth completely broke their spirits and they have retreated back to their own space. We haven’t heard anything from them in a month now… There is no way they would try getting in here."
Krill crossed both sets of arms,
"I disagree, commander. I have been looking into human history of warfare, and I think that a spy could easily-"
*"Krill calm down will you. Besides, spies rely on the fact that you can disguise yourself to look like the other side. The Burg are so fugly that they'd be noticed in half an instant.
They came around the corner, and the commander was nearly knocked onto his back as an Iotin brushed past, hurrying from the banquet hall.
The commander tripped back into a wall,
"Woah watch... yourself."
The Iotin disappeared around the next corner, and the commander looked after him with a frown.
"Didn't know those guys could move that fast. Wonder why he could be in such a hurry?”
Krill waved it off as the commander poked his head into the banquet room,
"Oh look, pink orbs!"
"Commander, don't you think we should wait until after the summit, when the food is being served?”
The man waved a hand,
"Oh no one will notice one or two of them missing."
He quickly snuck into the room and Krill rolled his eyes as the man came out munching on one of the pink fruits.
”Maybe three? I mean four orb fruits are not much right?”
"And they made you leader of the fleet?”
"Yes. Also that means I deserve at least five orb fruit… Also, technically they are thinking of making me leader of the entire Galactic armada, but I digress."
"Lord help us all."
The captain made a face.
"What? It's true!”
The man shook his head.
"No, not you, this fruit tastes... Weird."
"Good weird or bad weird?”
He shrugged and took another bite.
"Weird… but not bad enough for me to stop eating it, so good weird I guess?”
He stuffed the rest of the orb into his mouth and licked the juices off his fingers.
Krill sighed,
"I still can't believe they would choose you."
"Better believe it."
The two of them walked into the main conference chamber to sit down with the other delegates. The human delegation was near the top tier, and so that is where they went, taking a seat just to the right of the Rundi chairwoman's box.
The entire room was alive with the sound of alien life.
Commander Vir leaned over to speak with one of the delegates and Krill was left to watch the room.
Most of the delegations were here, though the Iotin delegation had arrived late. Seemed strange considering he had seen one of their number not long ago.
The light dimmed a couple of times, and the chairwoman took her pedestal and began to greet the delegates. Krill looked on politely as was his want, though he wasn't entirely interested in the whole thing.
The charwoman could be rather long-winded when she got going.
He sat there through a good few minutes of it, glancing over at the other human delegates on occasion. Vir looked almost sleepy, though that was almost to be expected, he was never very good at politics, even though he was involved in them so much.
He turned back to the delegation.
The commander shifted uncomfortably in his seat during a discussion about intergalactic trade laws, and Krill looked over again.
The man had taken to licking his lips repeatedly.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah fine, just thirsty."
He muttered, Krill let it go, though something made him turn back not to long after. The human was rubbing at his mouth, which appeared red, though he supposed that was supposed to be expected. Little lines of sweat were trickling down from his hairline.
He scooted a bit closer.
"Commander, are you feeling alright?”
He was waved off,
"Yeah, I'm ok, it just got a little hot in here as all... Feeling kind of... Faint. Maybe a little nauseous. I am sure I'll be fine. Probably just need something to eat."
The talks continued, but Krill wasn't focused on them anymore. The commander was not looking very good. He was sweating enough that the collar of his dress shirt was almost soaked. The tint of his face had gone from healthy blush to a yellow parlor. He looked as if he was about to pass out. A few of the other human delegates had started to notice.
Someone placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Commander are you feeling alright."
"I... I think I... Just need to... Walk around."
His voice was slurred.
"I don't think that's a good idea commander?"
Krill said turning his head to face him.
His pupils were unusually wide, despite the dark space around them.
*"The human was breathing hard now, one hand over his chest. His dry mouth from earlier was gone, replaced by saliva production so excessive he was having to clear his mouth every couple of seconds.
He looked at Krill, and the expression on his face was enough.
"I think I'm going to be sick."
The other delegates had leaned over, sensing the commotion, and they stood to let Krill and the commander pass as he stood and wobbled his way towards the stairs.
Krill could sense something was wrong almost immediately.
Dizziness, shortness of breath, nausea…
"Someone, help him walk."
Krill ordered, not caring about the delegation anymore.
Their sudden movement had caused a bit of commotion on one side of the room. The commander paused on the stairwell, and instead of turning towards the exit, he turned towards the delegation floor. Krill tried to grab him, tried to stop him, but the human – even in his weakened state – was still too strong.
A muttering had grown up around the crowd as he staggered onto the floor.
The chairwoman stopped speaking looking on in confusion.
"Commander, are you alright?”
The human paused at the center of the floor.
Everyone in the room was now watching him.
In the main lighting he looked absolutely horrific.
He was so pale his skin was almost yellow. The skin around his mouth was red. Sweat drenched the side of his face. He was drooling so badly that it was, at this point, impossible to control.
"The... food... Has been poisoned."
He choked out through heaving breaths.
And then he collapsed to his knees, vomiting violently on the white marble floor.
The entire delegation stood, shock and uproar filling the room. Krill ran over to help the human whose arms and hands were shaking as he tried to hold himself up.
The sight was horrifying. Saliva dripped in strings from his mouth. His clothing and hands were stained pink from the orb fruit from earlier.
Krill remembered he said it tasted weird.
Could he really have been poisoned?
A couple other human delegates vaulted over the railings and onto the floor, grabbing the man by the arms as his strength began to fail him. His body was shaking violently now.
Krill practically scream-ordered one of the assistances to grab his medical kit number three B (the one for poisons and toxins)
The entire room was in an uproar.
Krill jammed his finger at the Iotin representatives,
"Don't let them leave!"
The Iotins stood in shock as the delegations turned on them.
The Drev delegation, weaponless, still managed to make a circle around the group.
"Someone, go grab the food, and get me a sample!"
The commander had been rolled onto his side. His body continued to reject whatever toxin it had been given, though Krill desperately tried to avoid him aspirating and choking. That only got harder once the man began to cease and convulse. He had to reduce the absorption, but he also needed to keep the man from throwing it back up.
His kit was open on the floor, and he had the others help him with the tubes and medication. Adam wouldn't be helping him now, so he would have to get directly to the stomach himself.
He had one of the other humans hold him, as he inserted the tube and began with the activated charcoal. Hopefully that would be enough, before they got test results back. One of the Rundi came sprinting into the room, holding one of the pink orbs, handing it over to one of Krill's assistants who was ordered to test the fruit with one of the testing strips.
They did as told and the entire group waited for the results.
When the strip turned blue, Krill knew what it was.
It was at least similar to some toxins he had seen before and attacked the central nervous system in humans through absorption in the gut. The dosage had been too high however, and while the human could potentially choke to death, much of the toxin had already been rejected by the body.
"Someone cut open his sleeve."
The uniform was ignored as the sleeve was cut open and Krill placed an IV reaching into his kit for the antitoxin.
"You... Just have that lying around?"
One of the other humans asked and Krill nodded.
"I work with humans. I expect them to ingest stupid things that could kill them on a regular basis."
He was calm on the outside like a doctor should be, but on the inside, he was panicking horribly. The commander was not looking good.
But he placed the IV and made the injection.
"Someone test the other food. I want to know if this was planned for just the humans or for the entire delegation.”
His orders were quickly followed, and they found the toxin in almost every dish that had been in the banquet hall.
"You should be glad it was the human who took it first."
Krill was saying, the chairwoman asked:
"Why is that?"
"Because, the human body is the only one that would have noticed the poisoning before it was too late. The human brain responds to toxins that affect the central nervous system with dizziness and nausea. For any other species, you would have been dead before the symptoms kicked in."
On the floor the human convulsions had stopped. His heart rate was decreasing now, but Krill was keeping an eye on it.
The Iotins were still looking around in panic as the Drev glowered at them.
"What is the meaning of this?”
Their leader called. Krill turned on them anger in every line of his body,
"We saw one of you leaving the room before we entered, and they were in a hurry. So, forgive me if I am a little suspicious."
More uproar, but the Drev kept the delegates in check.
”Come on, commander."
Krill muttered. If he was going to wake up, it would be in the next few minutes, if only for a little bit.
One of the other humans had ripped open his uniform jacket, removing his tie and pulling the coat off, discarding it to the side. Krill was more than grateful for their help. Even more pleased when the commander opened his eyes bleary, his pupils almost back to normal.
"What... happened?"
He slurred,
"Congratulations, sir! You saved the entire delegation from death by poisoning. You're a hero!”
He groaned,
"I don't feel like one."
He leaned his head back onto the floor.
"Catch the bastards who did this for me will you?"
He licked his lips,
"I'm gonna pass out again now."
And then he did as promised.
Once again, the human body had managed to save the day.
Because as it turns out, humans are actually a lot harder to poison that one might first assume. Give them to high of a dose, and they will throw it up, give them too low of a dose and it won't kill them.
Plus, the human body is very good at letting everyone know when something is wrong.
It is especially difficult to poison a human when their best friend is an experienced doctor.
Whoever had done this, had not succeeded in their end goal.
And they wouldn't likely be free for long.
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.
2023.05.30 05:06 adinkins Everywhere I go, I see his face...
 | submitted by adinkins to GoCommitDie [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 03:59 inky_plays r/SallyFaceGacha Lounge
A place for members of SallyFaceGacha to chat with each other
submitted by inky_plays to SallyFaceGacha [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 02:20 Eclectique1 My guide to classroom management
To all the young teachers here, even though so many of you are great, it takes years to really master classroom management. This isn't a diss, it is just something many young teachers struggle with which our teacher prep programs do not teach, and it adds a lot of stress to an already stressful profession.
I'm interested in hearing any other people could add to the list.
These are some tips I have found helpful:
1.) First day of school is syllabus review and going over the rules
Have them sign a student contract going over the rules and make sure you SAVE THEM, a parent will come for you when you enforce consequences, and it is a meeting-ender to pull out a document their student signed stating that they adhere to the clearly defined rules.
2.) Be an asshole for the first couple months
Nobody likes to be the bad guy, but being an asshole for the first few months helps kids learn what the rules are and that there are consequences for breaking them. Give an AP kid a detention if they are a minute late without a pass. The knuckleheads will see that you're fair and consistent in consequences. Johnny doesn't care that Sally is watching YouTube videos because she finished all her work, he only sees that Sally is allowed to do something he isn't allowed to.
3.) Establish routines and be consistent
This varies from teacher to teacher. I start every class with a warm-up activity that I start the second the bell rings, but I'm less serious the last 2-3 minutes of class. Some teachers have opposite procedures. In any case, students crave structure and routines.
4.) Potentially unpopular, but I find it's better to dress more formally for the first couple months of the year, especially if you're young
High school level here, but I think it's better to establish a boundary with the kids early in your career, especially if you're younger looking. Mr. X is wearing a shirt and tie and is therefore a teacher in my mind instead of being a dude that looks like my buddy. You can always take your foot off the pedal towards the end of the year when you've built relationships and can somewhat reason with them, "you know I'm not unreasonable, I can't have you doing X in class".
5.) Always have more than enough work
We all know the type of kid that finishes their work in a rushed manner, then gets bored and causes issues. Call it enrichment, web quests, extra credit, or whatever, but always have something for the high-flyers to keep them busy.
6.) Be lucky enough to be hired in a school with supportive admin that enforces consequences
This has been the case my entire career, but I know many people have stories of kids being sent to the office only to return with candy and a smile on their face. None of the classroom management tips work if the building culture is not there. If you're an admin reading this that eschews consequences and puts the blame on teachers for too many referrals, you can fuck right off. You are the problem.
7.) Your reputation gets established in the first three months and it goes a long way
Kids talk. If you're known as no-nonsense, then your life is going to be easy in future years. Set the tone hard. Kids taking your classes will behave differently than they would with teachers they hear are more relaxed. "She's nice but don't screw around in her class" is one of the best compliments you can get. Parents will hear if you fold for Karens, if you're reasonable, if you enforce consequences. I've had a couple nightmare kids have nightmare parents request their kid change classes because I expect them to show up on time. Fine.
submitted by Eclectique1 to Teachers [link] [comments]
I'm interested in hearing any other people could add to the list.
These are some tips I have found helpful:
1.) First day of school is syllabus review and going over the rules
Have them sign a student contract going over the rules and make sure you SAVE THEM, a parent will come for you when you enforce consequences, and it is a meeting-ender to pull out a document their student signed stating that they adhere to the clearly defined rules.
2.) Be an asshole for the first couple months
Nobody likes to be the bad guy, but being an asshole for the first few months helps kids learn what the rules are and that there are consequences for breaking them. Give an AP kid a detention if they are a minute late without a pass. The knuckleheads will see that you're fair and consistent in consequences. Johnny doesn't care that Sally is watching YouTube videos because she finished all her work, he only sees that Sally is allowed to do something he isn't allowed to.
3.) Establish routines and be consistent
This varies from teacher to teacher. I start every class with a warm-up activity that I start the second the bell rings, but I'm less serious the last 2-3 minutes of class. Some teachers have opposite procedures. In any case, students crave structure and routines.
4.) Potentially unpopular, but I find it's better to dress more formally for the first couple months of the year, especially if you're young
High school level here, but I think it's better to establish a boundary with the kids early in your career, especially if you're younger looking. Mr. X is wearing a shirt and tie and is therefore a teacher in my mind instead of being a dude that looks like my buddy. You can always take your foot off the pedal towards the end of the year when you've built relationships and can somewhat reason with them, "you know I'm not unreasonable, I can't have you doing X in class".
5.) Always have more than enough work
We all know the type of kid that finishes their work in a rushed manner, then gets bored and causes issues. Call it enrichment, web quests, extra credit, or whatever, but always have something for the high-flyers to keep them busy.
6.) Be lucky enough to be hired in a school with supportive admin that enforces consequences
This has been the case my entire career, but I know many people have stories of kids being sent to the office only to return with candy and a smile on their face. None of the classroom management tips work if the building culture is not there. If you're an admin reading this that eschews consequences and puts the blame on teachers for too many referrals, you can fuck right off. You are the problem.
7.) Your reputation gets established in the first three months and it goes a long way
Kids talk. If you're known as no-nonsense, then your life is going to be easy in future years. Set the tone hard. Kids taking your classes will behave differently than they would with teachers they hear are more relaxed. "She's nice but don't screw around in her class" is one of the best compliments you can get. Parents will hear if you fold for Karens, if you're reasonable, if you enforce consequences. I've had a couple nightmare kids have nightmare parents request their kid change classes because I expect them to show up on time. Fine.
2023.05.30 01:59 Forgetful_Frog (Day 2) Okay. Singular, Hallow, Void, Ritual, Shadow, Psychosocial, Treehouse, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Mary On A Cross, and Ghosts are in. What should I put in next? (Top posts get choosen)
 | I promise I won't over do it next time ;-; submitted by Forgetful_Frog to sallyface [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 01:07 _voidlight_ oc mom reveal?! (plus a lil wholesome bonus)
 | was too lazy + don't have the art skills to draw an airport in the sally face style lmao submitted by _voidlight_ to sallyface [link] [comments] |
2023.05.29 23:23 myassh0leburns SallyFace fan art !
 | submitted by myassh0leburns to sallyface [link] [comments] |