This was my first "big boy" award redemption I've done and it couldn't have gone better. Before, I've booked Hyatt rooms overseas and gotten the companion pass so been doing award travel for a while, but this was the first time we flew in J and first time being able to realize a "bucket list" trip thanks to award travel.
Here was our itinerary (started in SFO):
Barcelona -> Granada -> Cordoba -> Seville -> Ronda -> Setenil de las Bodegas -> Malaga (only to fly out of).
Planning began last summer, and the flights were booked then. Since this was the first time we've ever flown in J and it was the honeymoon, I wanted to make sure we spent a little extra for a nicer European carrier, and I wanted to try two of them. So on our flight there we flew KLM into Barcelona via Schiphol, and for the flight out we flew Air France from Malaga via CDG. We opted against doing TAP or Ibera for two reasons despite them being more direct: the product/service is apparently not as nice, and for Iberia it would have required a positioning flight into LAX. Next time we do Spain though, I definitely would give them a shot.
Points and cost break down
We did a LOT of research on the best programs and flights to do this trip and ultimately landed on Flying Blue. For one, while they do have fees, they were not exorbitant. For two, their products were very well reviewed. I'll get more into our actual experience in the review section below. But also crucially, there just happened to be a point transfer bonus going on at the same time from Chase that boosted our points by 25%.
Airfare:

• Total Points on flights spent: 205,000 + ~$1000 in fuel charges for 4 J one way tickets (+25% transfer bonus totalling to 247,000 points booked)
  
• SFO -> BCN 128,000 + $500 for x2 J on KLM
  
• AGP -> SFO 119,000 + $500 for x2 J on Air France. [We had originally planned on getting back to Barcelona or perhaps connecting up through Madrid to fly back home, but we discovered Malaga had ridiculously cheap redemptions out of Malaga this time of year for AF. Don't be afraid to not always go for the biggest cities to fly out of! We booked our flights first and figured out our plans later, so this ended up determining the overall itinerary we ended up taking.]
  

Other travel costs, all booked in advance about 1-2 months out:

• BCN -> GRX: $220 for x2 tickets on Vueling (paid for the checked luggage in advance). [This was the only other flight we did as the train from Barcelona to Granada would have taken all day, while this flight is only an hour. It would have been cheaper to fly into Seville or Malaga but we chose to follow a "better" route for our itinerary to correctly time some festivals we wanted to experience.]
  
• Renfe high speed rail: $~30-40/pp, each leg. [We did this from Granda -> Cordoba -> Seville]
  
• Bus: Only real way to get to Ronda and Setenil from Seville. $~30/pp for a (miserable) 2hr bus ride from Seville -> Ronda (we showed up late and the bus was cramped). $~11/pp for a 45 min ride from Ronda -> Setenil. $~25/pp for a 1.25 hr bus ride from Setenil -> Malaga.
  

Hotels:
We only booked one hotel on points and it was in Barcelona. Overall, we found mom & pop run B&B's and AirBNB's to be a far better value than traditional hotels in most of Spain. But, Barcelona had some good options for some redemptions. Ultimately we decided on:

• Barcelona - Wittmore Hotel. 116,000 Hyatt points for 4 nights (29,000/night, which was their peak season rate that had just kicked in for May).
  
• Granada - AirBNB Riad $466.40 USD for 2 nights. [We kind of overpaid on this, but the property was gorgeous and we really wanted to stay in a well located riad which this place was.]
  
• Cordoba - Patio del Posadero. $168 for one night + $35/pp for their optional breakfast. [Absolutely fantastic place and the breakfast, while being an upcharge, was well worth it.]
  
• Seville - AirBNB rooftop apartment. $613 for 3 nights. [Again, slightly overpaid for this compared to other options. But, the location was flawless and the rooftop view of La Giralda was impossible to beat.]
  
• Ronda - AirBNB apartment. $50 for one night
  
• Setenil de las Bodegas - vacation 3 story rental cave house. $120 for one night. [We really wanted to sleep in a cave house and this rental company (not associated with AirBNB) had a great selection for stupid cheap prices. We didn't need all the space but why not?]
  
• Malaga - Barcelo Malaga. $159 for one night. [Picked mostly because it was right next to the transit terminal.]
  

Reviews and other notes
Airside:

• SFO lounge of choice was the Delta Skyclub, in a different terminal from our flight. The KLM lounge was closed for renovation, and they were having people go into China Airways lounge instead. That looked terrible, so we decided to just deal with going through security twice. With CLEAR + Precheck, it was a non-issue. Getting into Skyclub took a bit of work. We had to show the receptionist the policy on Delta's website that says any Flying Blue J tickets gain access (not just Delta) as their scanner can only recognize Delta tickets. Even still, we were denied - until they manually looked up our ticket using their terminals. Only then did we get in. Overall, the Skyclub was great. Not too busy, free (basic) cocktails, and the food + showers were good. Loved the view too. We were there for breakfast and lunch.
  
• KLM business class was fantastic, but they screwed up our seats during an unannounced plane change so everyone's seats got scrambled and none of the couples were sitting together in the honeymoon configuration (my spouse was directly in front of me). While disappointing, it didn't impact our experience of the flight much. All of the food and drink was great. We especially liked their house Negroni. The seat itself felt quite new, and offered a lot of privacy which I loved. The cabin did run a bit hot though, which made it hard to sleep. I thought with lie down seats I'd be able to enjoy sleeping on the plane more but because we had a 2pm take-off my brain just wasn't having it so it was more like a sleepy nap. Still, I'm officially spoiled. The best part though was the service. ALL of the attendants were sociable, attentive and very kind. They even gave us a cute little gift for our honeymoon (and of course the ceramic houses).
  
• At Schipol, we had a 5 hour layover that we split between went to two of KLM's flagship lounges, one on the schengen and non-schengen sides. The non-schengen lounge was absolutely incredible. Two levels, including an outdoor patio! The food options were great, seating was plentiful. The only thing we didn't like is that they were charging for drinks here (at full price...) unless you went to some tiny tucked away bar where they would only serve you basic beer and wine. There was a completely unused restaurant on the second level too that felt like a big miss. We took a shower, which was fine - but the shower was a little small for my liking. On the schengen side, the lounge was much more modest but perfectly functional. Again, not much to drink... except for the G&T dispenser, which we made liberal use of.
  
• When flying out, we went to the Malaga lounge as it opened at 5am. We weren't here for long but it was perfectly adequate. It was neat being able to see out on the tarmac on one side while on the other side seeing a zen garden + the airport interior below.
  
• We connected to CDG, and went to the Air France lounge on the non-schengen side. Wow, CDG is as much of a shitshow as they say to connect through, but as long as you follow the signs we managed just fine. We only had 45 minutes inside the lounge here, and found the lounge to be quite disappointing overall, especially compared to KLM's offerings. It was small and crowded, thrown into a basement with no view and only had one buffet section that was also crowded and constantly being drained of food. Your only drink options outside of coffee were to pour yourself some wine.
  
• Air France was by far, much worse than I was expecting (I only learned later that they JUST introduced a totally new business class product a month before our trip). The boarding experience was a complete shit show - they just had all groups, 1-4 line up at the same time, and then had to have everyone stand aside on the long catwalk to let in the wheelchairs that they forgot to let board first. The plane was at least 30 years old and showed. My seat's footrest was completely detached from the seat. The seat itself was far less functional in how it used its space compared to KLM's and it was much less private feeling. I get it, I don't need to be on a super new plane every time but things were pretty in disrepair. Our toilet on our side of the plane was completely out of order, which I didn't learn about until after I had already used it (they knew about it before and didn't bother to tell me). I paid for Wifi, which then did not work at all for the entire flight. Food was pretty good, and I liked how many courses there were compared to KLM. But again, like at the lounge, drink options outside of wine were quite bad, pretty much the only thing they could make us cocktail wise was a basic G&T. The service was overall quite bad. Everyone was super nice and put on a good face, don't get me wrong. But outside of meal service, you pretty much had to track down an attendant for anything. Nobody ever responded to attendant calls and the expectation was to just go up to the mini-bar and help yourself to something (which I liked in concept but in reality they mostly just had apples and crackers and water there). Overall, it wasn't bad. The food was good and it was a lie down seat. But compared to KLM, it was no comparison.
  

Groundside:

• The Wittmore hotel was initially only picked because all the cheaper Hyatt's in the area were booked out. By oh my god, am I glad I went with them. By FAR the best experience we've ever had at a hotel. If you visit Barcelona, just go here. It's that good. The service was spot on from the moment we walked in and were treated to complimentary cava to the moment we left and they let us eat breakfast before opening time while they booked a cab for us. The hotel itself looks gorgeous, and they have this lovely interior courtyard many of the rooms look out onto that you dine in. It's tucked away in the heart of the gothic quarter in this charming little alleyway. An area that we later learned was THE place to be for Barcelona at night. All within a 5 minute walk were some of the best tapas we had and some of the best bars we went to. The room itself was fantastic - super comfortable bed, good bathroom and gorgeous finishes. The minibar is completely free and doesn't cheap out - it includes fixing for making gin & tonics, cheese boards, nice water and was restocked every day. Breakfast is, somehow, completely free every day - and it's a full service 3 course breakfast where every dish we tried was fantastic. I don't know how they make money doing that, but it was sure an awesome value addition. On top of ALL of this, there was a lovely rooftop pool with gorgeous views of Barcelona that we could order drinks up to.
  
• I'll skip reviewing the airBNB's since they are so seasonal & can't be booked with points, but we enjoyed staying at each one. Not an airBNB but we especially loved Patio del Posadero in Cordoba. Definitely book this one with cash if you're visiting Cordoba. Similar experience and level of service as Wittmore Hotel, but in a tiny 8-room B&B that a couple runs. Wittmore + Posadero really made us feel like we were in an episode of BBC's Poirot, which absolutely tickled us.
  

Total out of pocket costs

• 320,000 UR points
• $~1000 fuel charges
• $~3000 all other food, airfare, travel, lodging, souvenirs

Fifth Year Festival: Liverpool
March 3, 2007
Liverpool, England
The Liverpool Olympia
The main event, Nigel McGuinness versus Samoa Joe, was one of the few times in Nigel's career that he did not have an overwhelming home field advantage. Joe, in the midst of his ROH farewell tour, has support that equals if not surpasses Nigel's on this night. Nigel defeated Joe in a tag team match in Chicago, and the two men have had a couple of other run-ins on this tour. These two are capable of sleepwalking to a good match, but fortunately they put in the effort, probably motivated by the heavily-invested crowd. Joe got his shoulder smashed into the ring post, giving Nigel a target to focus on. Nigel went for the Tower of London on the outside, but Joe blocked it, and since Nigel wanted to play that game, he hits Nigel with a Muscle Buster on the ring apron. Referees begin helping NIgel to the back, but Joe questions Nigel's "intestinal fortitude" as JR would say, and Nigel returns to the match and slaps Joe in the face. Nigel kicks out of another Muscle Buster in the ring and a lariat. Joe finally puts things to bed with the Coquina Clutch.
In their first defense of their third reign with the ROH World Tag Team Championship, the tag teame aces, the Briscoe Brothers (Jay and Mark) faced off with the Dragon Gate duo of Naruki Doi and Shingo. Lots of emphasis made on the open challenge made by the Briscoes for the following night in Liverpool at Finale, a sign of overlooking their challengers on this evening. And it is easy to see why, as I can't recall Doi and Shingo teaming in ROH before. There's a certain pace to the Briscoes that makes their matches exciting. They're fast, but it never feels like they are rushing through spots. Shingo accidentally hits Doi with a clothesline, allowing the Briscoes to hit Doi with Total Elimination and an assisted neckbreaker, but no finish. In a shocker, Shingo finishes things a cradle shock on Mark to win. This is a second huge upset on this tour, following Morishima defeating Homicide in Philadelphia. ROH has had a few short title reigns before, but the top dogs of the tag team division losing their first defense? Unprecedented for the company. After the match, Jay got on the mic and questioned whether he and his brother were getting soft and challenges his brother to a match for the following night to get back on track.
For the first time, the Full Impact Pro Heavyweight Championship was defended outside the US, allowing it the designation of a world championship. I'm not sure how official all that is, but that's PWI's guidelines. Full Impact Pro was the Florida-based sister promotion of ROH. Roderick Strong, the champion, defended against a very young Pac. Physically, Pac has "local competitor" vibes, but by this point had already developed a popular reputation in his homeland. FIP World Heavyweight Championship matches had a 20-count on the outside and could be lost via disqualification or countout. Strong takes the young Englishman to school and beats the hell out of him for most of the match. Pac finally finds an opening and starts hitting a variety of high-flying moves, including what would become known as the Red Arrow to the outside. He goes to the well one too many times however, and Strong decides to put the young man away with a kick and tiger driver. Strong gets huge heat for locking Pac in the liontamer after the match, but is run off by Delirious.
In a two-out-of-three falls match, longtime rivals Matt Sydal and Delirous faced off. Finally free of the tag titles, Sydal can be more of a cocky heel, while Delirious is an energetic tornado. The first fall was a feeling out period. Delirious hit Sydal with a big punt, and while the referee was attending to Sydal, Sydal sneaked in a low blow that allowed him to craddle Delirious for the first fall. Sydal takes to more heel tactics in the second fall, with lots of choking and other illegal tactics. Delirious finally catches a break and hits Sydal with his back splash/cobra stretch combo finish to win the second fall. Things really picked up with the third fall as both guys used their experience with each other to hit spots seamlessly. Once again, Sydal uses the referee to his advantage, shoving the ref into the ropes to gain an advantage and hitting Delirious with a top-rope belly-to-belly suplex for the win. A great match demonstrating great chemistry.
I think this was a very good show and the best of the tour thus far.
Other matches on this show:

• Jimmy Jacobs & Jimmy Rave vs. Colt Cabana & BJ Whitmer
  
• Sara Del Rey vs. Allison Danger
  
• Homicide vs. Davey Richards
  

You can find the B-Show Stories archieve here.

Well lads,
Im lucky enough to have saved up a few quid and something I’ve always wanted to do is buy a boat. I am completely new to this scene, haven’t a clue about it, so wondering if anyone on here has some knowledge they can share.
Looking to buy a sea faring motor boat, nothing fancy, just something with a few seats and enough poke to get from A to B. Probably would use it along the west coast.
Questions I have are: - licensing - what training would you recommend and what license would I need - costs - apart from the obvious things like fuel etc, what sort of maintenance costs are there? Marina costs if you chose to park it? Servicing costs, what are we talking? Anything else that’s not obvious? - any pros/cons or foresight you could offer me before I go on this venture - as I have no clue about boats, I’d want someone to help me with inspections before purchasing anything. Know anyone who offers this as a service or any general recommendations in this

Hi, I'm planning on visiting Singapore soon and wanted to figure out how to get around– what form of payment is accepted for transiting via the MRT, buses, and possibly even the boat taxis in the Marina Bay? Can I use Apple's Express Transit feature or manual Apple Pay for all these places? Thanks!

If you're reading this, perhaps you're like me. You have most things you want in GTA Online. You've "done it all". And now you're bored.
But... have you *really* done it all? Turns out, most of us haven't. There's so much to do in this game, and it's easy to get stuck in old habits that prevent us from discovering everything there is to do in Los Santos!
So I began writing down all my ideas for having fun in the game, and basically use these suggestions as guidelines to always find something new to do. It has completely reinvigorated my joy for the game, and I hope it can help you do the same!
If you're having trouble with motivation or inspiration, then I suggest picking something at random from the list and just doing it! You might discover that you love it, just like I did!
And if you have anything more to add, please share your comments so that we can all help build this list together. :)
​
Let's go!
​

• Break Your Habits: Most people have a routine that they repeat over and over again until they get burned out and bored with the game! Your number one goal for having fun must be to break your old habits!
• Grind Less: If you've played for a long time, there's absolutely zero reason to grind big piles of useless money. People often develop bad habits where they finally grind so much that they forget to have fun. The "wonder" of the world completely vanishes when everything becomes about optimal times and optimal routes and optimal mission rotations. Relax! Start exploring everything that the game has to offer instead! Dare to do the "less optimal" routes, and have the courage to stop stressing about the "time efficiency" when you do the game's content. Sure, perhaps you can do a mission in 2 minutes with an Oppressor Mk2, but why not relax, put on a podcast, and do a relaxing 5 minute drive instead? Relax and have fun!
• Switch Off the Business Mindset: Why grind at all? Why do businesses at all? What do you really need the money for, whatsoever? If it feels like grinding, do something else that's more fun for you! Stop thinking about the money and start thinking about the real-world fun you're having! Start actually enjoying all the things you've previously grinded for! Perhaps you might enjoy treating GTA as a racing simulator where you mostly do challenges/race maps instead? There's so much more to do that isn't purely related to earning money!
• Accept All Invites: When you see invites to races, challenges, missions, etc, accept them! You will broaden your horizons about what you can do in the game, and you will often make the newbies very happy! Of course, if it turns out they're a hopelessly stupid newbie who keeps dying and never improves, then sure, I'd suggest leaving the heist to save your time and sanity. But most of the time, the other players will be smart enough to learn quickly. You can easily make great, new friends this way!
• Protect the Newbies: If you see someone doing a sales mission in a public lobby, why not fly over there in a powerful airborne vehicle (or heck, a missile-equipped Toreador car), and then follow them as their bodyguard against any griefers that may appear!
• Join People's CEO/MC: You can list yourself as "looking for work" via the interaction menu, which will alert other people that there's someone looking for work in the session. You can then join them and help people out with their missions, which is often a fun and relaxing activity for a while!
• Get a Crew: Look around for a crew of like-minded people. They exist. There are crews that specialize in heisting with competent players. There are crews that focus on racing. There are crews for Arena War. There are crews that only do LS Car Meet challenges/races. There's even crews specialized in doing sales missions together, by helping each other with business sales, if that's your thing! Finding a group of people with a compatible mindset and interests really pays off in the end!
• Switch Sessions: You can jump between multiple public sessions until you find one that matches your mood. Perhaps a nice, quiet sessions without griefers, perfect for doing sales missions? Or maybe one where there's a group of people that are actively doing something fun, which you can join in on? Don't just settle for your session. Explore what's out there!
• Do the Stupid Things: Grab your friends or some randoms, and challenge each other to do the most stupid and random things you can think of. The game is a sandbox. So start acting like it! For example, why not challenge each other with things like "everyone starts at the beach without any vehicles, your goal is to get to the Senora Desert convenience store, and you're only allowed to use stolen vehicles, the first person to reach the desert wins", or how about "everyone jumps from the Maze Bank Tower and your goal is to ride your parachute all the way to the ferris wheel". Is that even possible? Who knows! Let's find out!
• Become a Map Creator: If you've had fun making random challenges in freeroam, why not make them into more formal challenges, by creating actual maps? The map creator is very advanced. You can modify the world, add checkpoints anywhere you want, you could make a bicycle race, add pedestrians, enable weapon wheel usage, add parachute jumps, stunt jumps, survival modes, etc. Go wild!
• River Racing: The game has two epic rivers that start at the "Alamo Sea" (desert lake) and head west out to the ocean. Why not do a race with some friends? Get the Blazer Aqua amphibious quad bike and start at the desert, then race through one of the rivers, which is full of fun jumps. Next, decide on a destination (such as the Del Perro Pier) and do the rest of the drive on roads to see who gets there first.
• Stop Flying: Whenever a game lets you fly, you end up skipping huge amounts of content and world design and just flying directly above it all. That's nice if you want to get somewhere efficiently, but it really breaks the game's immersion. Try driving everywhere instead!
• Learn to Fly: Many players are awful at flying (especially the helicopters). Why not practice your flying skills? Perhaps try landing your helicopter at very tight spots, on rooftops, and other fun locations!
• Use Motorcycles: They're more thrilling than cars, because crashing actually has consequences. They're also very fast and agile, which feels awesome while driving through the city!
• Oppressor MK1: Fly around the map, trying to create your own challenges such as flying over the water or climbing Mount Chiliad.
• Climb the Mountain: Find various fun vehicles and attempt to climb Mount Chiliad in them. There's lots of fun to be had with motorcycles at the mountain!
• BMX Tricks: There are so many skate parks and BMX bicycle stunt locations in the city. Why not look at some BMX stunt videos for inspiration?
• Throw Away the GPS: Stop staring at the minimap while driving! This is super fun. Let's say that you need to get to Simeon's shop. Instead of opening up the world map and setting a map marker and following the GPS line like a lemming, try to train yourself to navigate the city! Drive the streets, look at the surroundings and actually navigate! It's so much fun and you'll feel way more relaxed. The city will also feel way more immersive. You can even modify the minimap via "Settings: Display: Radar = Blips", which hides the map so that you can't see the shape of the streets by glancing at the minimap anymore. You can even disable it completely, but unfortunately it also hides the healthbar if you do that.
• Use First Person: You can change the game's camera mode to first person, which is a really unique and immersive way to play the game. Steal some cars and go cruising! It will feel like an entirely different game when you get used to it!
• Take Selfies: Find beautiful locations and attempt to take great screenshots, with perfect framing and composition! You can use the game's built-in snapmatic camera, or you can use your regular screenshot key instead! Collecting photos of your adventures is a nice way to remember where you've been!
• Businesses: There are so many businesses in the game, and it's easy to forget about them after a while. Look at your businesses and begin doing their sourcing and sales missons again! Most of us quit them because they're very grindy, but after a long time away from them, they'll feel fresh again. And they'll feel much more relaxing if you vary between your different businesses and you only do one or two missions at a time, to never get bored.
• Nightclub: Do the promotion/popularity missions, which involve going around town and promoting the nightclub, or helping to remove unwanted or drunk guests from the club. All of that improves your popularity, which improves the passive income you're earning from the club!
• Get the DJs: The nightclub has multiple DJs. Why not unlock them all? Their missions are very fun, and you'll earn new music for your club.
• Bunker: Why not do some manual supply missions, just to relax and have fun? Sure, the optimal way to make money with the bunker is to buy the supplies and do "better" things with your time instead of sourcing supplies, but why does everything have to be about ultimate efficiency all the time? If you're a long-time player, you already have lots of money and you need new things to do!
• Contact Missions: So many people don't even know that you can get missions by calling NPCs on the phone. It's named "contact missions" and they can be very fun. I recommend calling Dax and doing "Request Work" from him, because his missions are very varied and after you've done enough you get various important rewards, such as upgrades for your Acid Lab business.
• CEO/VIP Work: When you're a CEO, you can start SecuroServ missions via the interaction menu. There's lots of fun ones! For example, why not get your favorite car, relax and do the Sightseer mission, seeing where the map markers will take you while you enjoy the relaxing drive? The mission gives you 15 minutes, which is plenty of time to take the scenic route.
• Terrorbyte Missions: Another forgotten relic! The terrorbyte has lots of fun missions which are very good for variation. They used to be the best "active" way to earn money in GTA. Most players who grinded those missions have only done the "optimal rotation", but how about actually doing all of the available missions for fun?
• Rockstar Jobs: There are so many high-quality maps, races and challenge modes in the game. Explore the official list of RockstaCurated jobs in the game's pause menu. There's a ton of them!
• Community Jobs: There's a ton of cool community maps in the game. Remember to favorite the ones you liked so that you can easily start the same again!
• Auto Shop: Do the customer car customization and delivery jobs, and do the heists! They can be done solo.
• MC Club: Do the customer motorcycle customization and delivery jobs.
• Vehicle Warehouse: Do the Import/Export car theft and sales missions. Be sure to use the trick that ensures you only get high-end cars (permanently fill the warehouse with every worthless sourced car in the game, then you will only get high-end cars after that).
• Acid Lab: The best passive income business in the game. Spend some time doing Dax's contact missions to fully upgrade your lab's efficiency and it will become very profitable. Then mix up your gameplay between both sourcing Acid supplies or buying them. And do the sales missions.
• Franklin's Agency: Do the Dr. Dre story missions, then do 201x Security Contract missions until you've unlocked the highest amount of passive daily income (it goes up by $100 every time you do a mission, capped at $20,000 after having done 201 contracts).
• Payphone Hits: They're unlocked after doing at least 3 Security Contract missions. After that, you're able to call Franklin every 20 minutes to request a "payphone hit", which are short 3-5 minute missions with optional challenges that grant you a whopping $85,000 per job. They're very profitable.
• Weekly Time Trials: Do the camotorcycle time trial and the RC car time trial every week, they're a good way to learn how to drive and they give a nice bit of money! Remember that you can hold a key to respawn at the start of the race before the time has ended, if you're sure that you won't make it in time.
• Daily Objectives: In your interaction menu, look at the Objectives and complete them. They're a good way to be inspired to do things you might not do otherwise.
• Daily Collectible Hunts: G's Cache (hunt for the hidden street cache), Kosatka submarine treasure hunt, Street dealer (find it and sell to it every day), Cayo Perico's Buried Stashes, etc.
• Get a Fresh Look: Create a new character outfit (clothes, hairstyle, tattoos, mask).
• Use Different Weapons: Challenge yourself to use different weapons than the same old, boring weapon you always use. For example, how about only using the Heavy Revolver? Make those shots count!
• Modify Your Weapons: Change their styles and attachments.
• Tune Your Precious Car: You might have a "perfectly tuned" car that you've been driving for years and that you're always using. Why not modify it a bit? Put a different livery on it, and some different colors at least? What felt "fresh" two years ago would just be contributing to a feeling of "staleness" today. Freshen things up!
• Ride of the Day: Most long-time players have around a hundred vehicles, but most of them collect dust. Why not set fun "challenge" rules for yourself, such as randomly selecting a vehicle and using only that vehicle on that real-life day?
• Outfit of the Day: Why not make it your goal to create a new character "outfit of the day" (or week) whenever you log in? It's a great way to get a fresh feeling every time you play!
• Remember the Special Outfits: You can visit the front desk of any clothes store to browse various outfits for inspiration. But did you know that you can also visit the "changing room" or wardrobe in the stores or at your apartment, to browse various outfits that you've unlocked via special mission rewards? For example, you can be a Yacht Captain or a GoPostal mailman if you've done the associated missions! Most of them are in the "Outfits: Special" category.
• Character Replica Outfits: Think of a recognizable character, and attempt to replicate the look in GTA as closely as possible. For example, Mr. Bean or Super Mario!
• Minigames: How about some Golf, Tennis, Darts or Arm Wrestling?
• Gang Attacks: Find a gang and eliminate them!
• Stash Houses: Find the stash houses and raid them for resources for your businesses.
• Parachute: Go somewhere high up and do a parachute dive! Better yet, look for the Junk Energy Skydives challenges on the map, or do Dom's parachute challenge (which is a special skydive at a random location).
• San Andreas Flight School: Do the flight school challenges! They're at the Los Santos Airport, at the airplane icon!
• Gun Range Challenges: Complete the Bunker's and Ammo-Nation Gun Range shooting challenges!
• Gun Range with Friends: Challenge a friend to the gun range mini-games, where you compete to see who is the most accurate!
• MC Club Missions: Form a MC club with at least one friend, then ride in formation and start MC missions via the interaction menu.
• MC Businesses: Yes, they're the most hated businesses in the game, but why not do them a little bit? You could do a little bit of supplying and a few small sales missions, to ensure that you have small sales. Or, team up with friends and take turns helping each other do larger sales.
• Racing: Do Open Wheel, Stunt Races, Transform Races, and Regular Races. There are so many different kinds of races in the game! The transform races are the newest feature, and are very cool, since you might drive a supercar down the street to the airport, then transform into a plane and fly through the sky, and other epic things, all in the same race map!
• LS Car Meet: Do the challenges, races and rank up your LS Car Meet rank. Try to win the Prize Ride!
• Lobby Car Meets: You can try arranging car meets with other people in the lobby, to check out each other's cars! Just beware of griefers. You may want to do it in the LS Car Meet building to avoid the griefer explosions, or just switch to a lobby with cooler people.
• Arcade: Play the arcade games and try to beat them! Some of them have hidden rewards for completing the game or completing certain challenges.
• Achievements: Look at the pause menu's Stats - Awards section, and pick some award that you'll try to complete! There are so many fun challenges in there, such as attempting to parachute for more than 3 minutes, or robbing every store on the map (you can see the checkmarks on the map to know if you've robbed those stores).
• Stunt Jumps: There are 50 stunt jump locations on the map, which unlock a few rewards and are also really fun to complete!
• Unlock Vehicle Colors: You may have noticed that certain colors are locked behind challenges, such as winning a certain amount of races. Why not finally unlock those colors you've always wanted but were always "too lazy" to unlock? You'll get to enjoy some flashy, new vehicle colors!
• Arena War: Very fun, but unfortunately hard to get a group going for it. But if you can get a group, Arena War is super fun.
• Freemode Battles: Join a large lobby and just do whatever you want while you're waiting for freemode battles, which start every 20 minutes and will alternate between Business Battles and Freemode Challenges. Then attempt to win those battles! Events will only trigger when there are at least 4 players outdoors, and they cannot be in the same CEO/MC.
• Ride with Strangers: Pick your nicest car and then drive around and invite strangers to either ride with you or do impromptu street race 1v1 challenges.
• Freemode Map Markers: Look at the map. There are icons and glowing markers everywhere on the map/streets. Visit whichever icon is nearest your current location and see what's there! Remember that you can go "On Call" (queue) for public races/missions while you're waiting for them to fill up, which lets you stay in Freemode while you're waiting.
• Weekly Bonuses: Look at the Rockstar Newswire to see what the weekly bonus money is, and focus on doing that business/event for a while, to earn some money!
• Max Your Stats: Get all your stats to maximum! Most people haven't finished Strength, which can be gradually maxed for fun by simply punching every civilian you see.
• Invade the Military: Invade the military base at Fort Zancudo with some friends, and make it your mission to steal a Lazer jet plane.
• Heists: Do some heist preps or full heists for fun! Many of them can be casually setup while solo, which is very relaxing! Most of the newer heists can even be completed while solo!
• Change Your Heist Routes: You don't have to always do the same approach over and over again. Most heists have a lot of different approaches. For example, have you ever successfully completed the "Silent and Sneaky" approach at the Casino? Start exploring the different possibilities out there!
• Yellow Mission Markers: The yellow letters/markers on the map show the location of significant storyline missions (such as ULP, Agency, Acid Lab, etc). Visit those locations and start completing the stories that GTA Online has to offer!
• Do the Jobs: Go to "Online - Jobs" in the pause menu, and explore the available options!
• Answer the Calls: There are so many fun missions for English Dave, the various DJs at the Music Locker, the Casino staff, etc. In most cases, you'll also get some kind of reward if you finish them all! You might even get them to stop calling you when you've finished everything, which is a nice reward in itself!
• Check Your Texts/Emails: There's a lot of "mini missions" that arrive via emails/text messages. For example, Simeon asks you to steal certain cars every day. There's also an early game treasure hunt which starts through an email.
• Use Quick Join: There's an app on your phone named "Quick Join". It queues you for a rapid, random job. It's a great way to explore new content, meet new people and to help them with the queues for their own missions.
• Browse the Internet: There are a ton of funny parody websites in GTA Online's internet browser. Explore what's out there!
• Watch TV/Movies: Have you seen all the TV shows and cinema movies yet? If not, relax and have some fun! :)
• Customize Your Phone: You can change the theme, background, ringtone and other settings for your in-game phone. Why not change things a bit?
• Don't Be Annoyed: The phone calls and missions may seem annoying, but try actually relaxing and doing them. Listen to the phone calls. Call the NPCs. Do their missions! They are pretty nice and chill activities which gives you something to do in the game and some challenges.
• Use a Gamepad: If you're a PC player, you'll know that most of the game is too easy, since the aiming and enemy difficulty was balanced for console (gamepad) players. Try using a gamepad on PC! Not only will your driving and flying be massively improved, you'll also have a much more fun time when fighting enemies, since you can't just "360 No Scope" everything with your superior pointing device anymore. You'll even get immersive rumble that lets you feel the engine of your cars! How cool is that?! The game's options lets you finetune the sensitivity and aiming mode, and true professionals will use "Free Aim" which completely disables the auto-aiming.
• Meet Different People: If you're mostly a heist person, look for someone who loves cars and start hanging out with them to absorb some of their passion for another aspect of the game. You might learn to love car tuning too!
• Trade Prices: Many vehicles in the game have trade prices which give you a massive discount on the vehicle if you complete the challenge first. So set your eyes on a nice vehicle and do its challenges for fun! The discount you're earning will be like earning a huge sum of money that you put towards that specific vehicle. For example, a 2 million dollar discount on a vehicle you wanted is the same as if you had just earned 2 million dollars that you decided to spend on that vehicle! So don't sleep on the trade price discounts! They're a fun challenge with a very high monetary value!
• Bunker Research: If you have a bunker, try doing the research! You can unlock a ton of cool and super useful vehicle and weapon modifications! The explosive and incendiary ammo are must-haves.
• Mobile Operations Missions: The Mobile Operations Center is a forgotten business. It exists in your bunker, but you can request it via your Interaction Menu. Enter the truck's trailer, and then start missions from the computer in the command room!
• Avenger: Take your Avenger out for a drive! It's an extremely powerful, heavily armored aircraft and can be customized with various fun additions.
• Relaxing Yacht: Why not purchase or upgrade your yacht, and chill on it for a while with some friends? It even has lots of fun water vehicles parked in the water at the yacht, and helicopter pads for easy travel.
• Yacht Missions: You can start the fun "A Superyacht Life" mission series from the captain on your yacht. You'll even get a fun Yacht Captain outfit if you complete them all as host.
• Special Vehicle Work: The Vehicle Warehouse provides various epic missions whose "main" purpose is to unlock trade prices on various weaponized vehicles, but the missions themselves are fun too. Most players only do the specific missions for the vehicles they wanted to buy. Why not complete them all at least once, or play them again for fun?
• Collectibles: The map is full of collectible items, such as USB music sticks, playing cards, action figures, signal jammers (to unlock the best hacker for the Casino heist), etc. Why not relax and do them all for fun? They all unlock something fun or useful!
• Dream Vehicle: Relax, do some research about vehicles are available in the game, and set your eyes on a new "dream vehicle". Then work towards earning it and pimping it just the way you want it! Having a goal is fun!
• Test Drives: Check out the weekly test drives at the "Luxury Autos" shop, at Simeon's "Premium Deluxe Motorsport", and at the "LS Car Meet". You might find your new dream vehicle!
• Collect Vehicle Sets: You might have fun building specific collections, such as all Benny's vehicles in the game, etc. Setting goals for yourself about specific vehicle collections gives you something to strive for, and means that there's a lot of new things you'll need to buy and tune, which will keep you busy for a while!
• Sell Vehicles: Let's be honest, there are a lot of stinkers in your collection. Why not sell them? Just beware of the game's daily sell limit. The limit will be hit somewhere around 30-40 cars sold in 24 real-life hours. I'd suggest only selling 1-5 cars per real life day, which ensures that you'll never face the anger of Rockstar, and you'll have more time to make deliberate choices about which vehicles to get rid of. You'll also be getting roughly 50% of your previously spent money back for each sold vehicle! I'd recommend forcing yourself to drive a vehicle for a while before selling it, and looking at its customizations to see if you'd like it if you changed its style a bit, so that you're absolutely sure that you don't want it.
• Organize Your Vehicles: A lot of people have a complete mess in their garages. Why not begin sorting your cars, such as placing all your best cars at the premium display spots in your office garage? Perhaps organizing the floors by vehicle type? You can have lots of fun and you'll get a much better overview of your available vehicles.
• Relocate Yourself: If you've been staring at the same, old, boring spot for years, it could be fun to move! Most players choose the ugly, industrial, "optimal" locations. Why not relax and move to the beautiful beach instead? The Lombank office, the Insert Coin arcade, the Vespucci Beach MC clubhouse, the Del Perro Nightclub, the Strawberry auto shop, and the Vespucci Canals agency are all very beautiful locations with amazing interior and exterior design and great views! They're also very well placed for all of their business purposes!
• Browse in Person: When you're looking at real estate on the internet, things look very boring and impersonal. Why not take a drive around the city and look at the "real estate for sale" map markers in person? Perhaps you'll find a great new location for your home! However, if it's a multi-apartment house, I recommend checking YouTube for the various room views, to find the room with the best view before you buy it.
• Upgrade Your Properties/Businesses: If you haven't yet upgraded all of the equipment for a business, it's a great idea to upgrade it to improve its efficiency and safety. Or how about changing the interior design for fun, to replace the "same old daily view" with a fresh new look?
• Buy Every Arcade Machine: There are so many fun minigame machines for your arcade. Why not buy them all and pimp that place out? It's a nice place to relax, and even get some rewards for completing the games.
• Get All Passive Businesses: Why not work towards getting and fully upgrading all of the passive incomes in the game? Such as the Nightclub (which automatically generates money in the safe based on popularity, and generates MC business products to sell from its basement), the Acid Lab (which can be restocked with a simple phone call to Mutt, and has easy sales missions), the Arcade (which generates $5000 per in-game day when you've filled all of its interior slots with arcade machines, which can all be the same machine if you want), the Agency (which generates up to $20000 per in-game day based on how many Security Contracts you've completed), Street Dealers (finding the daily street dealer is much faster than regular sales missions, and they pay more than regular missions), Bunker (you can resupply it via one click with the Master Control Terminal in your Arcade, and then simply sell the product when it's still less than 25% full, thus guaranteeing a single sales vehicle every time). An added bonus of having passive businesses is the fact that they let you do other things in the game, such as doing racing and other fun challenges, while your businesses passively produce for you!
• Start Fresh: Did you know that your online account has two character slots? You can actually start fresh by simply withdrawing all of your banked money to your primary character, so that there's $0 in the bank. Then create a new character, which will begin at $0. Then relax and enjoy the ride of building a new empire. I suggest doing things differently this time. For example, if your primary character owns every business, why not just focus on a specific business this time, such as the CEO businesses (cargo crates), or just the vehicle warehouse, etc? Take this opportunity to simplify and avoid grinding, while still building a new playstyle to keep things fresh! Why not skip the Kosatka, so that you don't have the "easy Cayo Perico money" either? This slower, more deliberate, old-school way of making money will ensure that you have lots of fun, and you can set your own goals for what vehicles you want to save up money for on your new character! If you get tired of the grind, just switch back to your primary character again and enjoy the wealth. You can even delete your secondary character again to start fresh as many times as you want to.
• Spend Your Money: Having $100 million unused in the bank is just a completely pointless number, and is basically worth the same as having $0 in the bank if you aren't even using it. Unless your goal is to collect a specific amount of money for fun, I'd instead suggest that you actually start spending absolutely all of your money! Because if you can succeed in being perpetually slightly low on cash, you'll have much more reason to care about doing your businesses when you do want to buy something, which in turn drives your motivation to play again! Having a huge stash of money is bad for your motivation to play! Having a huge stash of money is like having an endless "Rich Daddy's Credit Card" in your wallet. Get rid of that credit card, buy a bunch of fun stuff, and enjoy the game more as a result!
• Play the Story: The vast majority of GTA Online players have barely touched the offline story. Why not relax with the story from time to time, gradually making your way through the epic offline story that started it all?
• Take a Break: If you're truly not finding any fun anymore, then take a break, perhaps a few weeks or a month is all you need to enjoy the game again! They also release content updates roughly twice per year, so you'll always have something new to return to in the future! :)

If you're reading this, perhaps you're like me. You have most things you want in GTA Online. You've "done it all". And now you're bored.
But... have you *really* done it all? Turns out, most of us haven't. There's so much to do in this game, and it's easy to get stuck in old habits that prevent us from discovering everything there is to do in Los Santos!
So I began writing down all my ideas for having fun in the game, and basically use these suggestions as guidelines to always find something new to do. It has completely reinvigorated my joy for the game, and I hope it can help you do the same!
If you're having trouble with motivation or inspiration, then I suggest picking something at random from the list and just doing it! You might discover that you love it, just like I did!
And if you have anything more to add, please share your comments so that we can all help build this list together. :)
​
Let's go!
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• Break Your Habits: Most people have a routine that they repeat over and over again until they get burned out and bored with the game! Your number one goal for having fun must be to break your old habits!
• Grind Less: If you've played for a long time, there's absolutely zero reason to grind big piles of useless money. People often develop bad habits where they finally grind so much that they forget to have fun. The "wonder" of the world completely vanishes when everything becomes about optimal times and optimal routes and optimal mission rotations. Relax! Start exploring everything that the game has to offer instead! Dare to do the "less optimal" routes, and have the courage to stop stressing about the "time efficiency" when you do the game's content. Sure, perhaps you can do a mission in 2 minutes with an Oppressor Mk2, but why not relax, put on a podcast, and do a relaxing 5 minute drive instead? Relax and have fun!
• Switch Off the Business Mindset: Why grind at all? Why do businesses at all? What do you really need the money for, whatsoever? If it feels like grinding, do something else that's more fun for you! Stop thinking about the money and start thinking about the real-world fun you're having! Start actually enjoying all the things you've previously grinded for! Perhaps you might enjoy treating GTA as a racing simulator where you mostly do challenges/race maps instead? There's so much more to do that isn't purely related to earning money!
• Accept All Invites: When you see invites to races, challenges, missions, etc, accept them! You will broaden your horizons about what you can do in the game, and you will often make the newbies very happy! Of course, if it turns out they're a hopelessly stupid newbie who keeps dying and never improves, then sure, I'd suggest leaving the heist to save your time and sanity. But most of the time, the other players will be smart enough to learn quickly. You can easily make great, new friends this way!
• Protect the Newbies: If you see someone doing a sales mission in a public lobby, why not fly over there in a powerful airborne vehicle (or heck, a missile-equipped Toreador car), and then follow them as their bodyguard against any griefers that may appear!
• Join People's CEO/MC: You can list yourself as "looking for work" via the interaction menu, which will alert other people that there's someone looking for work in the session. You can then join them and help people out with their missions, which is often a fun and relaxing activity for a while!
• Get a Crew: Look around for a crew of like-minded people. They exist. There are crews that specialize in heisting with competent players. There are crews that focus on racing. There are crews for Arena War. There are crews that only do LS Car Meet challenges/races. There's even crews specialized in doing sales missions together, by helping each other with business sales, if that's your thing! Finding a group of people with a compatible mindset and interests really pays off in the end!
• Switch Sessions: You can jump between multiple public sessions until you find one that matches your mood. Perhaps a nice, quiet sessions without griefers, perfect for doing sales missions? Or maybe one where there's a group of people that are actively doing something fun, which you can join in on? Don't just settle for your session. Explore what's out there!
• Do the Stupid Things: Grab your friends or some randoms, and challenge each other to do the most stupid and random things you can think of. The game is a sandbox. So start acting like it! For example, why not challenge each other with things like "everyone starts at the beach without any vehicles, your goal is to get to the Senora Desert convenience store, and you're only allowed to use stolen vehicles, the first person to reach the desert wins", or how about "everyone jumps from the Maze Bank Tower and your goal is to ride your parachute all the way to the ferris wheel". Is that even possible? Who knows! Let's find out!
• Become a Map Creator: If you've had fun making random challenges in freeroam, why not make them into more formal challenges, by creating actual maps? The map creator is very advanced. You can modify the world, add checkpoints anywhere you want, you could make a bicycle race, add pedestrians, enable weapon wheel usage, add parachute jumps, stunt jumps, survival modes, etc. Go wild!
• River Racing: The game has two epic rivers that start at the "Alamo Sea" (desert lake) and head west out to the ocean. Why not do a race with some friends? Get the Blazer Aqua amphibious quad bike and start at the desert, then race through one of the rivers, which is full of fun jumps. Next, decide on a destination (such as the Del Perro Pier) and do the rest of the drive on roads to see who gets there first.
• Stop Flying: Whenever a game lets you fly, you end up skipping huge amounts of content and world design and just flying directly above it all. That's nice if you want to get somewhere efficiently, but it really breaks the game's immersion. Try driving everywhere instead!
• Learn to Fly: Many players are awful at flying (especially the helicopters). Why not practice your flying skills? Perhaps try landing your helicopter at very tight spots, on rooftops, and other fun locations!
• Use Motorcycles: They're more thrilling than cars, because crashing actually has consequences. They're also very fast and agile, which feels awesome while driving through the city!
• Oppressor MK1: Fly around the map, trying to create your own challenges such as flying over the water or climbing Mount Chiliad.
• Climb the Mountain: Find various fun vehicles and attempt to climb Mount Chiliad in them. There's lots of fun to be had with motorcycles at the mountain!
• BMX Tricks: There are so many skate parks and BMX bicycle stunt locations in the city. Why not look at some BMX stunt videos for inspiration?
• Throw Away the GPS: Stop staring at the minimap while driving! This is super fun. Let's say that you need to get to Simeon's shop. Instead of opening up the world map and setting a map marker and following the GPS line like a lemming, try to train yourself to navigate the city! Drive the streets, look at the surroundings and actually navigate! It's so much fun and you'll feel way more relaxed. The city will also feel way more immersive. You can even modify the minimap via "Settings: Display: Radar = Blips", which hides the map so that you can't see the shape of the streets by glancing at the minimap anymore. You can even disable it completely, but unfortunately it also hides the healthbar if you do that.
• Use First Person: You can change the game's camera mode to first person, which is a really unique and immersive way to play the game. Steal some cars and go cruising! It will feel like an entirely different game when you get used to it!
• Take Selfies: Find beautiful locations and attempt to take great screenshots, with perfect framing and composition! You can use the game's built-in snapmatic camera, or you can use your regular screenshot key instead! Collecting photos of your adventures is a nice way to remember where you've been!
• Businesses: There are so many businesses in the game, and it's easy to forget about them after a while. Look at your businesses and begin doing their sourcing and sales missons again! Most of us quit them because they're very grindy, but after a long time away from them, they'll feel fresh again. And they'll feel much more relaxing if you vary between your different businesses and you only do one or two missions at a time, to never get bored.
• Nightclub: Do the promotion/popularity missions, which involve going around town and promoting the nightclub, or helping to remove unwanted or drunk guests from the club. All of that improves your popularity, which improves the passive income you're earning from the club!
• Get the DJs: The nightclub has multiple DJs. Why not unlock them all? Their missions are very fun, and you'll earn new music for your club.
• Bunker: Why not do some manual supply missions, just to relax and have fun? Sure, the optimal way to make money with the bunker is to buy the supplies and do "better" things with your time instead of sourcing supplies, but why does everything have to be about ultimate efficiency all the time? If you're a long-time player, you already have lots of money and you need new things to do!
• Contact Missions: So many people don't even know that you can get missions by calling NPCs on the phone. It's named "contact missions" and they can be very fun. I recommend calling Dax and doing "Request Work" from him, because his missions are very varied and after you've done enough you get various important rewards, such as upgrades for your Acid Lab business.
• CEO/VIP Work: When you're a CEO, you can start SecuroServ missions via the interaction menu. There's lots of fun ones! For example, why not get your favorite car, relax and do the Sightseer mission, seeing where the map markers will take you while you enjoy the relaxing drive? The mission gives you 15 minutes, which is plenty of time to take the scenic route.
• Terrorbyte Missions: Another forgotten relic! The terrorbyte has lots of fun missions which are very good for variation. They used to be the best "active" way to earn money in GTA. Most players who grinded those missions have only done the "optimal rotation", but how about actually doing all of the available missions for fun?
• Rockstar Jobs: There are so many high-quality maps, races and challenge modes in the game. Explore the official list of RockstaCurated jobs in the game's pause menu. There's a ton of them!
• Community Jobs: There's a ton of cool community maps in the game. Remember to favorite the ones you liked so that you can easily start the same again!
• Auto Shop: Do the customer car customization and delivery jobs, and do the heists! They can be done solo.
• MC Club: Do the customer motorcycle customization and delivery jobs.
• Vehicle Warehouse: Do the Import/Export car theft and sales missions. Be sure to use the trick that ensures you only get high-end cars (permanently fill the warehouse with every worthless sourced car in the game, then you will only get high-end cars after that).
• Acid Lab: The best passive income business in the game. Spend some time doing Dax's contact missions to fully upgrade your lab's efficiency and it will become very profitable. Then mix up your gameplay between both sourcing Acid supplies or buying them. And do the sales missions.
• Franklin's Agency: Do the Dr. Dre story missions, then do 201x Security Contract missions until you've unlocked the highest amount of passive daily income (it goes up by $100 every time you do a mission, capped at $20,000 after having done 201 contracts).
• Payphone Hits: They're unlocked after doing at least 3 Security Contract missions. After that, you're able to call Franklin every 20 minutes to request a "payphone hit", which are short 3-5 minute missions with optional challenges that grant you a whopping $85,000 per job. They're very profitable.
• Weekly Time Trials: Do the camotorcycle time trial and the RC car time trial every week, they're a good way to learn how to drive and they give a nice bit of money! Remember that you can hold a key to respawn at the start of the race before the time has ended, if you're sure that you won't make it in time.
• Daily Objectives: In your interaction menu, look at the Objectives and complete them. They're a good way to be inspired to do things you might not do otherwise.
• Daily Collectible Hunts: G's Cache (hunt for the hidden street cache), Kosatka submarine treasure hunt, Street dealer (find it and sell to it every day), Cayo Perico's Buried Stashes, etc.
• Get a Fresh Look: Create a new character outfit (clothes, hairstyle, tattoos, mask).
• Use Different Weapons: Challenge yourself to use different weapons than the same old, boring weapon you always use. For example, how about only using the Heavy Revolver? Make those shots count!
• Modify Your Weapons: Change their styles and attachments.
• Tune Your Precious Car: You might have a "perfectly tuned" car that you've been driving for years and that you're always using. Why not modify it a bit? Put a different livery on it, and some different colors at least? What felt "fresh" two years ago would just be contributing to a feeling of "staleness" today. Freshen things up!
• Ride of the Day: Most long-time players have around a hundred vehicles, but most of them collect dust. Why not set fun "challenge" rules for yourself, such as randomly selecting a vehicle and using only that vehicle on that real-life day?
• Outfit of the Day: Why not make it your goal to create a new character "outfit of the day" (or week) whenever you log in? It's a great way to get a fresh feeling every time you play!
• Remember the Special Outfits: You can visit the front desk of any clothes store to browse various outfits for inspiration. But did you know that you can also visit the "changing room" or wardrobe in the stores or at your apartment, to browse various outfits that you've unlocked via special mission rewards? For example, you can be a Yacht Captain or a GoPostal mailman if you've done the associated missions! Most of them are in the "Outfits: Special" category.
• Character Replica Outfits: Think of a recognizable character, and attempt to replicate the look in GTA as closely as possible. For example, Mr. Bean or Super Mario!
• Minigames: How about some Golf, Tennis, Darts or Arm Wrestling?
• Gang Attacks: Find a gang and eliminate them!
• Stash Houses: Find the stash houses and raid them for resources for your businesses.
• Parachute: Go somewhere high up and do a parachute dive! Better yet, look for the Junk Energy Skydives challenges on the map, or do Dom's parachute challenge (which is a special skydive at a random location).
• San Andreas Flight School: Do the flight school challenges! They're at the Los Santos Airport, at the airplane icon!
• Gun Range Challenges: Complete the Bunker's and Ammo-Nation Gun Range shooting challenges!
• Gun Range with Friends: Challenge a friend to the gun range mini-games, where you compete to see who is the most accurate!
• MC Club Missions: Form a MC club with at least one friend, then ride in formation and start MC missions via the interaction menu.
• MC Businesses: Yes, they're the most hated businesses in the game, but why not do them a little bit? You could do a little bit of supplying and a few small sales missions, to ensure that you have small sales. Or, team up with friends and take turns helping each other do larger sales.
• Racing: Do Open Wheel, Stunt Races, Transform Races, and Regular Races. There are so many different kinds of races in the game! The transform races are the newest feature, and are very cool, since you might drive a supercar down the street to the airport, then transform into a plane and fly through the sky, and other epic things, all in the same race map!
• LS Car Meet: Do the challenges, races and rank up your LS Car Meet rank. Try to win the Prize Ride!
• Lobby Car Meets: You can try arranging car meets with other people in the lobby, to check out each other's cars! Just beware of griefers. You may want to do it in the LS Car Meet building to avoid the griefer explosions, or just switch to a lobby with cooler people.
• Arcade: Play the arcade games and try to beat them! Some of them have hidden rewards for completing the game or completing certain challenges.
• Achievements: Look at the pause menu's Stats - Awards section, and pick some award that you'll try to complete! There are so many fun challenges in there, such as attempting to parachute for more than 3 minutes, or robbing every store on the map (you can see the checkmarks on the map to know if you've robbed those stores).
• Stunt Jumps: There are 50 stunt jump locations on the map, which unlock a few rewards and are also really fun to complete!
• Unlock Vehicle Colors: You may have noticed that certain colors are locked behind challenges, such as winning a certain amount of races. Why not finally unlock those colors you've always wanted but were always "too lazy" to unlock? You'll get to enjoy some flashy, new vehicle colors!
• Arena War: Very fun, but unfortunately hard to get a group going for it. But if you can get a group, Arena War is super fun.
• Freemode Battles: Join a large lobby and just do whatever you want while you're waiting for freemode battles, which start every 20 minutes and will alternate between Business Battles and Freemode Challenges. Then attempt to win those battles! Events will only trigger when there are at least 4 players outdoors, and they cannot be in the same CEO/MC.
• Ride with Strangers: Pick your nicest car and then drive around and invite strangers to either ride with you or do impromptu street race 1v1 challenges.
• Freemode Map Markers: Look at the map. There are icons and glowing markers everywhere on the map/streets. Visit whichever icon is nearest your current location and see what's there! Remember that you can go "On Call" (queue) for public races/missions while you're waiting for them to fill up, which lets you stay in Freemode while you're waiting.
• Weekly Bonuses: Look at the Rockstar Newswire to see what the weekly bonus money is, and focus on doing that business/event for a while, to earn some money!
• Max Your Stats: Get all your stats to maximum! Most people haven't finished Strength, which can be gradually maxed for fun by simply punching every civilian you see.
• Invade the Military: Invade the military base at Fort Zancudo with some friends, and make it your mission to steal a Lazer jet plane.
• Heists: Do some heist preps or full heists for fun! Many of them can be casually setup while solo, which is very relaxing! Most of the newer heists can even be completed while solo!
• Change Your Heist Routes: You don't have to always do the same approach over and over again. Most heists have a lot of different approaches. For example, have you ever successfully completed the "Silent and Sneaky" approach at the Casino? Start exploring the different possibilities out there!
• Yellow Mission Markers: The yellow letters/markers on the map show the location of significant storyline missions (such as ULP, Agency, Acid Lab, etc). Visit those locations and start completing the stories that GTA Online has to offer!
• Do the Jobs: Go to "Online - Jobs" in the pause menu, and explore the available options!
• Answer the Calls: There are so many fun missions for English Dave, the various DJs at the Music Locker, the Casino staff, etc. In most cases, you'll also get some kind of reward if you finish them all! You might even get them to stop calling you when you've finished everything, which is a nice reward in itself!
• Check Your Texts/Emails: There's a lot of "mini missions" that arrive via emails/text messages. For example, Simeon asks you to steal certain cars every day. There's also an early game treasure hunt which starts through an email.
• Use Quick Join: There's an app on your phone named "Quick Join". It queues you for a rapid, random job. It's a great way to explore new content, meet new people and to help them with the queues for their own missions.
• Browse the Internet: There are a ton of funny parody websites in GTA Online's internet browser. Explore what's out there!
• Watch TV/Movies: Have you seen all the TV shows and cinema movies yet? If not, relax and have some fun! :)
• Customize Your Phone: You can change the theme, background, ringtone and other settings for your in-game phone. Why not change things a bit?
• Don't Be Annoyed: The phone calls and missions may seem annoying, but try actually relaxing and doing them. Listen to the phone calls. Call the NPCs. Do their missions! They are pretty nice and chill activities which gives you something to do in the game and some challenges.
• Use a Gamepad: If you're a PC player, you'll know that most of the game is too easy, since the aiming and enemy difficulty was balanced for console (gamepad) players. Try using a gamepad on PC! Not only will your driving and flying be massively improved, you'll also have a much more fun time when fighting enemies, since you can't just "360 No Scope" everything with your superior pointing device anymore. You'll even get immersive rumble that lets you feel the engine of your cars! How cool is that?! The game's options lets you finetune the sensitivity and aiming mode, and true professionals will use "Free Aim" which completely disables the auto-aiming.
• Meet Different People: If you're mostly a heist person, look for someone who loves cars and start hanging out with them to absorb some of their passion for another aspect of the game. You might learn to love car tuning too!
• Trade Prices: Many vehicles in the game have trade prices which give you a massive discount on the vehicle if you complete the challenge first. So set your eyes on a nice vehicle and do its challenges for fun! The discount you're earning will be like earning a huge sum of money that you put towards that specific vehicle. For example, a 2 million dollar discount on a vehicle you wanted is the same as if you had just earned 2 million dollars that you decided to spend on that vehicle! So don't sleep on the trade price discounts! They're a fun challenge with a very high monetary value!
• Bunker Research: If you have a bunker, try doing the research! You can unlock a ton of cool and super useful vehicle and weapon modifications! The explosive and incendiary ammo are must-haves.
• Mobile Operations Missions: The Mobile Operations Center is a forgotten business. It exists in your bunker, but you can request it via your Interaction Menu. Enter the truck's trailer, and then start missions from the computer in the command room!
• Avenger: Take your Avenger out for a drive! It's an extremely powerful, heavily armored aircraft and can be customized with various fun additions.
• Relaxing Yacht: Why not purchase or upgrade your yacht, and chill on it for a while with some friends? It even has lots of fun water vehicles parked in the water at the yacht, and helicopter pads for easy travel.
• Yacht Missions: You can start the fun "A Superyacht Life" mission series from the captain on your yacht. You'll even get a fun Yacht Captain outfit if you complete them all as host.
• Special Vehicle Work: The Vehicle Warehouse provides various epic missions whose "main" purpose is to unlock trade prices on various weaponized vehicles, but the missions themselves are fun too. Most players only do the specific missions for the vehicles they wanted to buy. Why not complete them all at least once, or play them again for fun?
• Collectibles: The map is full of collectible items, such as USB music sticks, playing cards, action figures, signal jammers (to unlock the best hacker for the Casino heist), etc. Why not relax and do them all for fun? They all unlock something fun or useful!
• Dream Vehicle: Relax, do some research about vehicles are available in the game, and set your eyes on a new "dream vehicle". Then work towards earning it and pimping it just the way you want it! Having a goal is fun!
• Test Drives: Check out the weekly test drives at the "Luxury Autos" shop, at Simeon's "Premium Deluxe Motorsport", and at the "LS Car Meet". You might find your new dream vehicle!
• Collect Vehicle Sets: You might have fun building specific collections, such as all Benny's vehicles in the game, etc. Setting goals for yourself about specific vehicle collections gives you something to strive for, and means that there's a lot of new things you'll need to buy and tune, which will keep you busy for a while!
• Sell Vehicles: Let's be honest, there are a lot of stinkers in your collection. Why not sell them? Just beware of the game's daily sell limit. The limit will be hit somewhere around 30-40 cars sold in 24 real-life hours. I'd suggest only selling 1-5 cars per real life day, which ensures that you'll never face the anger of Rockstar, and you'll have more time to make deliberate choices about which vehicles to get rid of. You'll also be getting roughly 50% of your previously spent money back for each sold vehicle! I'd recommend forcing yourself to drive a vehicle for a while before selling it, and looking at its customizations to see if you'd like it if you changed its style a bit, so that you're absolutely sure that you don't want it.
• Organize Your Vehicles: A lot of people have a complete mess in their garages. Why not begin sorting your cars, such as placing all your best cars at the premium display spots in your office garage? Perhaps organizing the floors by vehicle type? You can have lots of fun and you'll get a much better overview of your available vehicles.
• Relocate Yourself: If you've been staring at the same, old, boring spot for years, it could be fun to move! Most players choose the ugly, industrial, "optimal" locations. Why not relax and move to the beautiful beach instead? The Lombank office, the Insert Coin arcade, the Vespucci Beach MC clubhouse, the Del Perro Nightclub, the Strawberry auto shop, and the Vespucci Canals agency are all very beautiful locations with amazing interior and exterior design and great views! They're also very well placed for all of their business purposes!
• Browse in Person: When you're looking at real estate on the internet, things look very boring and impersonal. Why not take a drive around the city and look at the "real estate for sale" map markers in person? Perhaps you'll find a great new location for your home! However, if it's a multi-apartment house, I recommend checking YouTube for the various room views, to find the room with the best view before you buy it.
• Upgrade Your Properties/Businesses: If you haven't yet upgraded all of the equipment for a business, it's a great idea to upgrade it to improve its efficiency and safety. Or how about changing the interior design for fun, to replace the "same old daily view" with a fresh new look?
• Buy Every Arcade Machine: There are so many fun minigame machines for your arcade. Why not buy them all and pimp that place out? It's a nice place to relax, and even get some rewards for completing the games.
• Get All Passive Businesses: Why not work towards getting and fully upgrading all of the passive incomes in the game? Such as the Nightclub (which automatically generates money in the safe based on popularity, and generates MC business products to sell from its basement), the Acid Lab (which can be restocked with a simple phone call to Mutt, and has easy sales missions), the Arcade (which generates $5000 per in-game day when you've filled all of its interior slots with arcade machines, which can all be the same machine if you want), the Agency (which generates up to $20000 per in-game day based on how many Security Contracts you've completed), Street Dealers (finding the daily street dealer is much faster than regular sales missions, and they pay more than regular missions), Bunker (you can resupply it via one click with the Master Control Terminal in your Arcade, and then simply sell the product when it's still less than 25% full, thus guaranteeing a single sales vehicle every time). An added bonus of having passive businesses is the fact that they let you do other things in the game, such as doing racing and other fun challenges, while your businesses passively produce for you!
• Start Fresh: Did you know that your online account has two character slots? You can actually start fresh by simply withdrawing all of your banked money to your primary character, so that there's $0 in the bank. Then create a new character, which will begin at $0. Then relax and enjoy the ride of building a new empire. I suggest doing things differently this time. For example, if your primary character owns every business, why not just focus on a specific business this time, such as the CEO businesses (cargo crates), or just the vehicle warehouse, etc? Take this opportunity to simplify and avoid grinding, while still building a new playstyle to keep things fresh! Why not skip the Kosatka, so that you don't have the "easy Cayo Perico money" either? This slower, more deliberate, old-school way of making money will ensure that you have lots of fun, and you can set your own goals for what vehicles you want to save up money for on your new character! If you get tired of the grind, just switch back to your primary character again and enjoy the wealth. You can even delete your secondary character again to start fresh as many times as you want to.
• Spend Your Money: Having $100 million unused in the bank is just a completely pointless number, and is basically worth the same as having $0 in the bank if you aren't even using it. Unless your goal is to collect a specific amount of money for fun, I'd instead suggest that you actually start spending absolutely all of your money! Because if you can succeed in being perpetually slightly low on cash, you'll have much more reason to care about doing your businesses when you do want to buy something, which in turn drives your motivation to play again! Having a huge stash of money is bad for your motivation to play! Having a huge stash of money is like having an endless "Rich Daddy's Credit Card" in your wallet. Get rid of that credit card, buy a bunch of fun stuff, and enjoy the game more as a result!
• Play the Story: The vast majority of GTA Online players have barely touched the offline story. Why not relax with the story from time to time, gradually making your way through the epic offline story that started it all?
• Take a Break: If you're truly not finding any fun anymore, then take a break, perhaps a few weeks or a month is all you need to enjoy the game again! They also release content updates roughly twice per year, so you'll always have something new to return to in the future! :)

Match Information:

 
Match: Celta vs Barcelona
Competition: La Liga
Date: Sunday, 4th of June 2023
Time: 21:00 CEST / 15:00 EDT - Convert to local time
Venue: Estadio Municipal de Balaídos, Vigo - 29000 capacity
Referee: Juan Luis Pulido Santana
 

Lineups and Squads:

 
Barcelona - Official squad confirmed
GK: Ter Stegen, Iñaki Peña, Arnau Tenas
DEF: Araújo, Christensen, Alonso, Alba, Koundé, Eric, Álex Baldé
MID: Busquets, Pedri, Kessié, Sergi Roberto, Frenkie, Gavi, Pablo Torre, Unai Hernández, Pau Prim
ATT: Dembélé, Lewandowski, Fati, Ferran Torres, Raphinha, Marc Guiu, Dani Rodríguez
Unavailable: Álex Baldé, Pedri (injured)
Not called: Araújo, Alba, Busquets
 
Celta - Official squad to be confirmed
GK: Agustin Marchesin, Iván Villar
DEF: Hugo Mallo, Óscar Mingueza, Unai Núñez, Joseph Aidoo, Javi Galán, Kevin Vázquez, Carlos Domínguez Cáceres
MID: Óscar Rodríguez, Fran Beltrán, Renato Tapia, Williot Swedberg, Luca De La Torre, Gabri Veiga
ATT: Carles Pérez, Gonçalo Paciência, Iago Aspas, Franco Cervi, Jörgen Strand Larsen, Augusto Solari, Haris Seferović, Miguel Rodríguez
Unavailable: Agustin Marchesin, Joseph Aidoo, Fran Beltrán (injured)
Not called:
 

Form guide:

 
Celta

• Form: [L] D L L L
  
• Goals scored: 3
  
• Goals conceded: 7
  
• Last match: Cádiz 1:0 Celta de Vigo - La Liga
  

Barcelona

• Form: [W] L L W W
  
• Goals scored: 10
  
• Goals conceded: 7
  
• Last match: FC Barcelona 3:0 Mallorca - La Liga
  

 

Head-to-head:

 

• Last meeting: FC Barcelona 1:0 Celta de Vigo
  
• Date: Sunday, 9th of October 2022, 21:00 CEST
  
• Competition: La Liga
  
• Threads: Pre-match thread Match thread Post-match thread
  
• Highlights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJwHf6m5geE
  

 

Comments (Post-match thread):

 
Author: lazybananainthehouse Score: 192 pts Source

MATS, MY LAD, PERHAPS OUR BEST PLAYER ON THE PITCH TODAY.

Author: mrsubsofficial Score: 123 pts Source

I'll just say my peace. 6/6 points after the international break with 6 injuries to many key players. That doesn't excuse a bad game from players in attack but games like these happen every year. The important thing is that we got all 3 points today, come april and may these are going to be incredibly valuable.
Spectacular game from Mats, gavi, and piqué. Balde a lot better than last time but again he's been asked to play on the right. Immense few minutes from Eric. Wingers were shut down but also very indecisive and making poor decisions at times. Alonso meh but again playing sort of out of position. Pedri and busi good as always. Lewy got little service but he also fumbled it a few times.
On to the champions were we really have to pick it up because it's worrisome so far.

Author: doksqwae Score: 122 pts Source

Winning matches like these where you're not on your best is a skill in itself and these matches might make or break the season but fuck me, that was awful 98 minutes of football and Xavi is repeating the same mistakes from Mallorca and Inter

Author: thisIsAswin Score: 117 pts Source

One on side we somehow managed to keep a clean sheet with a starting backline of Pique and 3 left backs. And on other side we couldn't even create a single chance for Lewa.

Author: aritra3776 Score: 98 pts Source

Had 10 heart attacks in just 45 minutes 🙂

Author: mntgoat Score: 80 pts Source

What a time to start playing like shit! If we continue this on Wednesday and next Sunday we are fucked.
Also everyone gave Raphinha shit but it isn't like Dembele did anything when we had the ball and he had fresh legs.

Author: Lelouch_brittania Score: 65 pts Source

So all a team needs to do is shut our wings down . Lewandowski becomes isolated and our full backs put in silly crosses. While the midfielders keep the possession and pass the ball sideways throughout the 90 mins . Xavi has lost the plot

Author: Hydrargyrum200u Score: 59 pts Source

Wingers get double or triple teamed and the attack dies
It's been like that for plenty of games now
It's on Xavi
It's one thing if one winger's form goes to shit but all 4 ? nah

Author: LarryPeru Score: 51 pts Source

Horrific train wreck of a performance and Inter and Madrid could not be coming at a worse time for us. Inter score first on Wednesday and we are done for in CL.

Author: thisIsAswin Score: 49 pts Source

We are not the same team that left for international break.

Author: halojeppe Score: 48 pts Source

I had the same feeling today as last year when Koeman was manager, just so boring and depressing to watch really

Author: faiosa Score: 39 pts Source

I’m so confused why Xavi refuses to have our RB overlap, our RW just gets double teamed as soon as he gets the ball with nowhere to go but back. It’s literally such a basic thing to know to do but 3 games now it’s been the same shit

Author: thebrownestmamba Score: 39 pts Source

That’s 3 matches in a row where we looked poor, this one being the worst of them. I don’t know who to focus on at this point, but Xavi and the players need to sort this out immediately. The drop in form is baffling enough, considering the precious performances, but we cannot afford any mistakes now where CL group qualifiers are decided in 3 days and the World Cup will start shorty after…
With that said, still golden 3 points and let’s hope for the best! Visca Barça!!

Author: Haalandderstrong Score: 31 pts Source

Anyone worried that after our weakness being exposed against Inter, our tactics remained exactly the same? Xavi didn't try to change to team a bit, still overly relying on the wings while Lewan is being isolated.

Author: mojojojo1108 Score: 27 pts Source

I am completely prepared to take downvotes on this but I would honestly much rather have Gavi run less and have more positional discipline. Gavi is obviously amazing but he makes wild challenges or runs to press in ways that leaves big, open, vulnerable holes.
Our biggest issue (besides injuries) throughout this season so far has been a lack of control. We don't control matches, but have been scoring because of moments of class or through transition opportunities. I'm not saying Gavi's the only one at fault (and I want to make clear that I still believe he's been one of our better performers - case in point, he was integral to creating the goal that we did score) but he's the only regularly playing midfielder that I think consistently contributes to this lack of control.
Ideally, with Balde and Bellerin available as the fullbacks (instead of Jordi especially) and whichever CB pairing Xavi prefers, we'll also have more composure in the back and ability to build up but for the moment, that's not much of an option to analyze.

Author: saymyname_97 Score: 25 pts Source

I think Xavi needs to try a midfield of FDJ, Busi and Pedri. Gavi is a great player but we really need more creativity from the midfield. Also FDJ is world class, he surely can't be a rotation player.

Author: Ranjith_Unchained Score: 19 pts Source

Thank you, MATS

Author: fakename4268 Score: 18 pts Source

We can’t create anything from the middle. We’ve said it before and before, a trio of Bosquets-Pedri-Gavi doesn’t work. I know we don’t have that many options because of injuries, but on Wednesday we can’t start this trio. Also, our wingers need to get their shit together. Dembele is wasting easy passes and Raphinha is too predictable, and don’t get me started on Fati and Torres. There are no excuses for everyone if we don’t manage to get through to the knockout phase

 

Quotes:

 

Xavi: "Laporta offered me the renewal when we lost the Copa del Rey semifinals against Real Madrid. There will be no problem." - src @barcacentre
Xavi: "The idea is for Lamine Yamal to be between Barça Atlètic and the first team because he can help us a lot." - src @barcacentre
Xavi: "If by beating Celta, indirectly, we can do Barça Atlètic a favor, it's even better."What Xavi is referring to: - src @barcacentre
Xavi: "Márquez has greatly improved the Barça Atlètic players when you compare them to the beginning of the season. That is his main goal, not promotion." - src @barcacentre
Xavi: "Mourinho? Coaches, like players, have to be an example. It doesn't matter how hurt you feel." - src @barcacentre
🚨 Xavi: "Ter Stegen will play tomorrow." - src @barcacentre
Xavi: "I hope our image tomorrow will be like the one we showed against Mallorca. We want to win, but we know that Celta have a lot more at stake than we do." - src @barcacentre
🚨 Xavi: "I haven't spoken to the players because I haven't been able to (because the acceptance of the feasibility plan isn't there yet). I haven't been able to because we still don't know if we'll be able to sign and we have to know what situation we're going to find ourselves… - src @barcacentre
🚨 Xavi: "With Messi I am expectant, not nervous. I have been talking to him and I would be excited about his return, not only as a coach but also as a Culer." - src @barcacentre
🚨 Xavi: "At the club they are optimistic about the feasibility plan, but it's not there yet. The president gives me peace of mind and confidence, in every way and also in this one. I'm not worried, I'm waiting." - src @barcacentre
🚨 Xavi: "Fati? I can tell you little about Ansu and the general planning, because we depend on La Liga and the feasibility plan. From there we will decide." - src @barcacentre
Xavi: "We have to see, depending on the squad we have, what our goals will be next season." - src @barcacentre
🚨 Xavi: "Neves? I can't talk about names. The club knows my priorities in positions and names. They know my position because I always try to be very clear." - src @barcacentre
Xavi: "I have a very good relationship with Giráldez. He's a great coach, doing an extraordinary job and the the women's team there only are winners, they don't get tired... We'll be watching the game, wishing them the best." - src @barcacentre
🚨 Xavi: "I'm not responsible for the financial issue. I only know that Messi would help us a lot in terms of football." - src @barcacentre
🚨 Xavi: "I can't talk much about planning, signings and departures, because we depend on La Liga and the feasibility plan. Things will be decided from there." - src @barcacentre
🚨 Xavi: "The priorities are very clear. I would really like Messi to return, I have spoken with him, and I have already said that it depends on him. From here, apart from Leo, the other priority is a pivot. That would be the ideal scenario." - src @barcacentre
Xavi: "The goal tomorrow is to win and give a good image. And others like keeping a clean sheet, winning Lewandowski's Pichichi award... Celta are in a difficult situation, but we want to win." - src @barcacentre

 

Latest News:

 
[Squad] - Squad for final Liga fixture against Celta - fcbarcelona.com
[Article] - Xavi: 'The team wants to end the season on a high' - barcatvplus.fcbarcelona.com
[Training] - Preparations continue for the final game of the season - fcbarcelona.com
[Article] - When and where to watch Celta v FC Barcelona - fcbarcelona.com
 

TV/Online:

 
Livesoccertv Liveonsat FCBarcelona.com
 

We booked near the marina, I’m thinking we’ll probably want to go to the main beach near the strip during the day, maybe back to our apartment then back out near there again at night. It’s a lot of back and forth and I’m thinking it would’ve been better to stay on the strip. Is it still easy to get around quickly? Also has anyone else stayed near the marina?

FT: Barcelona 3-2 VfL Wolfsburg

Barcelona scorers: Patri Guijarro (48', 50'), Fridolina Rolfö (70')
VfL Wolfsburg scorers: Ewa Pajor (3'), Alexandra Popp (37')
Venue: Philips Stadion
Auto-refreshing reddit comments link
LINE-UPS
Barcelona
Sandra Paños, Mapi León, Irene Paredes, Fridolina Rolfö, Lucy Bronze, Keira Walsh (Ingrid Engen), Patri Guijarro, Aitana Bonmatí (Alexia Putellas), Mariona Caldentey (Clàudia Pina), Salma Paralluelo (Geyse), Caroline Graham Hansen (Ana-Maria Crnogorevic).
Subs: Laia Codina, Nuria Rábano, Jana Fernández, Bruna Vilamala, Catalina Coll, Vicky López, Marta Torrejón.
^{____________________________}
VfL Wolfsburg
Merle Frohms, Dominique Janssen, Kathrin Hendrich, Felicitas Rauch, Lynn Wilms (Marina Hegering), Svenja Huth, Lena Oberdorf, Jill Roord (Lena Lattwein), Alexandra Popp, Ewa Pajor (Pauline Bremer), Sveindís Jane Jónsdóttir.
Subs: Joelle Wedemeyer, Tabea Waßmuth, Rebecka Blomqvist, Katarzyna Kiedrzynek, Kristin Demann, Lisa Weiß, Pia-Sophie Wolter, Sara Agrez, Jule Brand.
MATCH EVENTS via ESPN
3' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 0, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 1. Ewa Pajor (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) right footed shot from outside the box to the top right corner.
22' Kathrin Hendrich (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
33' Aitana Bonmatí (Barcelona Femenino) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
37' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 0, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Alexandra Popp (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) header from the centre of the box to the bottom right corner. Assisted by Ewa Pajor with a cross.
48' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 1, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Patri Guijarro (Barcelona Femenino) left footed shot from the centre of the box to the high centre of the goal. Assisted by Caroline Hansen.
50' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 2, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Patri Guijarro (Barcelona Femenino) with an attempt from the centre of the box to the bottom left corner. Assisted by Aitana Bonmatí with a cross.
70' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Geyse Ferreira replaces Salma Paralluelo.
70' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 3, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Fridolina Rolfö (Barcelona Femenino) left footed shot from the centre of the box to the top right corner. Assisted by Mariona Caldentey.
71' Substitution, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies. Lena Lattwein replaces Jill Roord.
77' Sveindís Jónsdóttir (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
79' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Clàudia Pina replaces Mariona Caldentey.
79' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Ana-Maria Crnogorcevic replaces Caroline Hansen.
84' Substitution, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies. Pauline Bremer replaces Ewa Pajor.
84' Substitution, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies. Marina Hegering replaces Lynn Wilms.
90' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Alexia Putellas replaces Aitana Bonmatí.
90' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Ingrid Engen replaces Keira Walsh.
90'+4' Alexandra Popp (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) is shown the yellow card.
90'+4' Irene Paredes (Barcelona Femenino) is shown the yellow card.

Tras una conversación con mi colega de Lurial, la señorita Montannes, decidí incursionarme a las darklands, buscando explorar las aún muy inexploradas capas profundas, con el objetivo de buscar el fondo de las cavernas.Hipótesis: Las darklands tienen un fondo tangible, ya sea una barrera física o una falta de materia tras pasar cierto punto.Método: Voy a viajar lo mas profundo que pueda llegar, hasta llegar al fondo, de haberlo. Adicionalmente, voy a brevemente tocar el tema de la flora, fauna, y civilizaciones que encuentre en el camino.
El viaje por las capas de Nar-Voth y Sekamina pasan sin novedades. No encuentro ninguna novedad respecto a lo que ya se sabe de estas capas. Aún así, cabe mencionar una serie de encuentros con varias patrullas drow, provenientes de la ciudadela de Elvun. No hubo descubrimientos respecto a ellos, pero logré confirmar que su presencia alcanza hasta incluso los páramos fúngicos. Recomiendo ser cuidadosos alrededor de esta área.
En la capa de Orv, logré descubrir una nueva especie de seta (Le envié un diagrama al profesor Dixon para que lo analice, y lo va a añadir al archivo prontamente). La seta tenía potentes efectos alucinógenos, y crecía en grupos de 5 o más. Poseía cualidades de bioluminiscencia, y era de tonalidades verde claro. Decidí calificarla como una Agaricales Polypore.
Tras varias semanas de viaje, eventualmente llegué a un abismo al fondo de la capa de Orv. Tras analizarlo, descubrí mas cavernas al otro lado, una extraña anomalía gravitatoria en el centro del abismo, y detecté la presencia de criaturas flotando en la oscuridad. Estas criaturas eran afectadas por el gigantismo de las profundidades. Tuve un encuentro cercano con una criatura de particularmente gran tamaño: unos sorprendentes 140 metros de largo. La criatura (cuyo boceto archivé temporalmente en el archivo 5, sector 12, estante 2, al menos hasta tener una copia para añadir a este reporte) era hostil, y fuera del nivel que podría enfrentar por mi cuenta, por lo que me vi forzado a tomar maniobras evasivas. Llegué a descubrir que la criatura (junto a las demás que habitan este foso) son mayormente ciegas, y que se guían con un agudo sentido del oído, además de poder detectar movimientos súbitos a mas cortas distancias.
Tras hacer unos breves cálculos, descendí al foso con la intención de llegar a los túneles del otro lado. En el camino tuve mi encuentro con la criatura, a la cual voy a denominar como un Gusano Leviatán, pero logré salir ileso a base de mantenerme en silencio y sin moverme mucho.
Luego de cruzar la anomalía gravitatoria, llegué a la conclusión de que lo que había hecho fue cruzar a través del centro del planeta, y emergí en las darklands del lado opuesto. Nuestros estudios han demostrado que Aorus es un planeta enteramente plano, pero esto demuestra ciertas cualidades presentes en otros planos menores, tales como el teorema de los limites en bucle. Nuestro plano aparenta cerrarse en si mismo de forma mágica, pero no física. Teoría: Navegar por la superficie del mar hacia el este u oeste debería replicar estas propiedades, pero voy a elaborar mas en esto mas adelante. Lo mismo aplica para el norte y el sur, pero las condiciones climáticas hacen este viaje no factible.
El viaje de subida del lado opuesto no fue particularmente notorio. Cabe remarcar la clara falta de grupos civilizados en este lado de las darklands, pero mas allá de eso, las tipicas criaturas silvestres de las darklands estaban presentes. Al emerger del otro lado, me encontré en un reino completamente desconocido. He elaborado mas en este continente en mi reporte en el archivo 3, sector 9, estante 2, pero lo considero lo suficientemente relevante para mencionarlo brevemente en este reporte. El reino se llama Asturia, y es el único que ocupa el continente en cuestión. Se caracteriza por su naturaleza conquistadora, y aparentemente, a lo largo de su historia, acabaron con todos los otros reinos y países en su continente. Hubo menciones sobre, particularmente, el reino de Luminaria, el cual según dicen, lo hicieron desaparecer de la noche a la mañana.
Los ciudadanos de este reino mostraron un alto rechazo a mi presencia. Tenían cierto disgusto hacia los forasteros, incluso a los de su propio reino (Mantuve mi naturaleza como forastero lo mas secreta posible haciéndome pasar por un viajero de su mismo reino, pero eventualmente el secreto se reveló). Adicionalmente, tienen una lealtad irrompible hacia su rey, Allathar, casi hasta el punto de la adoración. Logré identificar su posesión de numerosos artefactos curiosos relacionados a Luminaria, por lo que decidí decomisar algunos de estos objetos con la esperanza de estudiarlos y descubrir como destruyeron este reino en tan poco tiempo (Deje algunos de estos artefactos en manos de varios de mis colegas para su estudio, pero algunos desaparecieron en la distribución). Lamentablemente, fui descubierto durante la decomisión, pero logré huir. Aún así, temo que hayan descubierto nuestra presencia en este lado del mundo. Recomiendo proceder con nuestros encuentros con los Asturios con un alto nivel de cuidado.
​
Conclusión: Las darklands no tienen fondo como tal, si no que conectan al otro lado de Aorus a través de un foso lleno de criaturas gigantes. Este otro lado contiene al menos una civilización aparte de la nuestra, la cual amerita mas estudio.

FT: Barcelona 3-2 VfL Wolfsburg

Barcelona scorers: Patri Guijarro (48', 50'), Fridolina Rolfö (70')
VfL Wolfsburg scorers: Ewa Pajor (3'), Alexandra Popp (37')
Venue: Philips Stadion
Auto-refreshing reddit comments link
LINE-UPS
Barcelona
Sandra Paños, Mapi León, Irene Paredes, Fridolina Rolfö, Lucy Bronze, Keira Walsh (Ingrid Engen), Patri Guijarro, Aitana Bonmatí (Alexia Putellas), Mariona Caldentey (Clàudia Pina), Salma Paralluelo (Geyse), Caroline Graham Hansen (Ana-Maria Crnogorevic).
Subs: Laia Codina, Nuria Rábano, Jana Fernández, Bruna Vilamala, Catalina Coll, Vicky López, Marta Torrejón.
^{____________________________}
VfL Wolfsburg
Merle Frohms, Dominique Janssen, Kathrin Hendrich, Felicitas Rauch, Lynn Wilms (Marina Hegering), Svenja Huth, Lena Oberdorf, Jill Roord (Lena Lattwein), Alexandra Popp, Ewa Pajor (Pauline Bremer), Sveindís Jane Jónsdóttir.
Subs: Joelle Wedemeyer, Tabea Waßmuth, Rebecka Blomqvist, Katarzyna Kiedrzynek, Kristin Demann, Lisa Weiß, Pia-Sophie Wolter, Sara Agrez, Jule Brand.
MATCH EVENTS via ESPN
3' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 0, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 1. Ewa Pajor (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) right footed shot from outside the box to the top right corner.
22' Kathrin Hendrich (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
33' Aitana Bonmatí (Barcelona Femenino) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
37' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 0, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Alexandra Popp (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) header from the centre of the box to the bottom right corner. Assisted by Ewa Pajor with a cross.
48' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 1, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Patri Guijarro (Barcelona Femenino) left footed shot from the centre of the box to the high centre of the goal. Assisted by Caroline Hansen.
50' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 2, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Patri Guijarro (Barcelona Femenino) with an attempt from the centre of the box to the bottom left corner. Assisted by Aitana Bonmatí with a cross.
70' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Geyse Ferreira replaces Salma Paralluelo.
70' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 3, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Fridolina Rolfö (Barcelona Femenino) left footed shot from the centre of the box to the top right corner. Assisted by Mariona Caldentey.
71' Substitution, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies. Lena Lattwein replaces Jill Roord.
77' Sveindís Jónsdóttir (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
79' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Clàudia Pina replaces Mariona Caldentey.
79' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Ana-Maria Crnogorcevic replaces Caroline Hansen.
84' Substitution, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies. Pauline Bremer replaces Ewa Pajor.
84' Substitution, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies. Marina Hegering replaces Lynn Wilms.
90' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Alexia Putellas replaces Aitana Bonmatí.
90' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Ingrid Engen replaces Keira Walsh.
90'+4' Alexandra Popp (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) is shown the yellow card.
90'+4' Irene Paredes (Barcelona Femenino) is shown the yellow card.
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FT: Barcelona 3-2 VfL Wolfsburg

Barcelona scorers: Patri Guijarro (48', 50'), Fridolina Rolfö (70')
VfL Wolfsburg scorers: Ewa Pajor (3'), Alexandra Popp (37')
Venue: Philips Stadion
Auto-refreshing reddit comments link
LINE-UPS
Barcelona
Sandra Paños, Mapi León, Irene Paredes, Fridolina Rolfö, Lucy Bronze, Keira Walsh (Ingrid Engen), Patri Guijarro, Aitana Bonmatí (Alexia Putellas), Mariona Caldentey (Clàudia Pina), Salma Paralluelo (Geyse), Caroline Graham Hansen (Ana-Maria Crnogorevic).
Subs: Laia Codina, Nuria Rábano, Jana Fernández, Bruna Vilamala, Catalina Coll, Vicky López, Marta Torrejón.
^{____________________________}
VfL Wolfsburg
Merle Frohms, Dominique Janssen, Kathrin Hendrich, Felicitas Rauch, Lynn Wilms (Marina Hegering), Svenja Huth, Lena Oberdorf, Jill Roord (Lena Lattwein), Alexandra Popp, Ewa Pajor (Pauline Bremer), Sveindís Jane Jónsdóttir.
Subs: Joelle Wedemeyer, Tabea Waßmuth, Rebecka Blomqvist, Katarzyna Kiedrzynek, Kristin Demann, Lisa Weiß, Pia-Sophie Wolter, Sara Agrez, Jule Brand.
MATCH EVENTS via ESPN
3' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 0, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 1. Ewa Pajor (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) right footed shot from outside the box to the top right corner.
22' Kathrin Hendrich (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
33' Aitana Bonmatí (Barcelona Femenino) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
37' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 0, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Alexandra Popp (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) header from the centre of the box to the bottom right corner. Assisted by Ewa Pajor with a cross.
48' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 1, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Patri Guijarro (Barcelona Femenino) left footed shot from the centre of the box to the high centre of the goal. Assisted by Caroline Hansen.
50' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 2, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Patri Guijarro (Barcelona Femenino) with an attempt from the centre of the box to the bottom left corner. Assisted by Aitana Bonmatí with a cross.
70' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Geyse Ferreira replaces Salma Paralluelo.
70' Goal! Barcelona Femenino 3, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies 2. Fridolina Rolfö (Barcelona Femenino) left footed shot from the centre of the box to the top right corner. Assisted by Mariona Caldentey.
71' Substitution, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies. Lena Lattwein replaces Jill Roord.
77' Sveindís Jónsdóttir (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
79' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Clàudia Pina replaces Mariona Caldentey.
79' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Ana-Maria Crnogorcevic replaces Caroline Hansen.
84' Substitution, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies. Pauline Bremer replaces Ewa Pajor.
84' Substitution, VfL Wolfsburg Ladies. Marina Hegering replaces Lynn Wilms.
90' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Alexia Putellas replaces Aitana Bonmatí.
90' Substitution, Barcelona Femenino. Ingrid Engen replaces Keira Walsh.
90'+4' Alexandra Popp (VfL Wolfsburg Ladies) is shown the yellow card.
90'+4' Irene Paredes (Barcelona Femenino) is shown the yellow card.
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I've shared fiction here before and it didn't go altogether too poorly, so I'm going to press my luck and do it again. This was written about a year ago, and I'm tired of trying to peddle it to lit magazines. Might as well share it here, know that it met a few eyeballs, and have done with it.
It's relevant to the sub insofar as it's about urban alienation and the working conditions at a small business run by IN THIS HOUSE WE BELIEVE people. (I tried to pitch it as a story of the great resignation with a momentary flicker of cosmic horror.) It's based on a similar job I took on after getting laid off during the lockdown, and the circumstances of the main character's breakup are faintly similar to one I went through several years back (her job sucked the life out of her).
Without further ado:
* * *
It was getting close to midnight, and the temperature outside was still above 80 degrees. We’d locked up the shop at 10:15 and walked over to Twenty, the dive bar on Poplar Street, where a single wall-mounted air conditioner and four wobbly ceiling fans weren’t putting up much resistance against the July heat baking the place from the outside and the dense mass of bodies giving it a stifling fever from within.
Just now I came close to saying it was a Wednesday night, because that was usually when the cyclists descended upon Avenue Brew, the gritty-but-bougie craft beer and sandwich shop I was working at back then. Every Wednesday between March and November, about fifteen to twenty-five Gen Xers dressed in skintight polyester, all packages and camel toes and fanny packs, locked up their thousand-dollar bikes on the sidewalk and lined up for IPAs and paninis. They reliably arrived around 8:00, an hour before we closed, making it impossible to get started on the closing checklist and leave on time at 10:00. The worst of them were demanding and rude, and even the best got raucous and stubborn after a couple drinks. There were nights when bringing in the sidewalk tables couldn’t be done without arguing with them. Most were sub-par tippers, to boot.
After Wednesday came and went that week without so much as a single 40-something in Ray Bans and padded shorts stopping in to double-fist two cans of Jai Alai, we dared to hope the cyclists had chosen another spot to be their finish line from there on out. But no—they’d only postponed their weekly ride, and swarmed us on Friday night instead.
I was the last person to find out; I was clocked in as purchaser that evening. The position was something like a promotion I'd received a year earlier: for twenty hours a week, I got to retreat from the public and sit in the back room with the store laptop, reviewing sales and inventory, answering emails from brewery reps, and ordering beer, beverages, and assorted paper goods. When I put in hours as purchaser, my wage went up from $11 to $15 an hour, but I was removed from the tip pool. On most days, tips amounted to an extra two or three dollars an hour, so I usually came out ahead.
This was back in 2021. I don't know what Avenue Brew pays these days.
Anyway, at about 8:15, I stepped out to say goodbye to everyone and found the shop in chaos. Friday nights were generally pretty active, the cyclists' arrival had turned the place into a mob scene. The line extended to the front door. The phone was ringing. The Grubhub tablet dinged like an alarm clock without a snooze button. Danny was on the sandwich line and on the verge of losing his temper. Oliver was working up a sweat running food, bussing tables, and replenishing ingredients from the walk-in. The unflappable Marina was on register, and even she seemed like she was about to snap at somebody.
What else could I do? I stayed until closing to answer the phone, process Grubhub orders, hop on and off the second register, and help Danny with sandwich prep. After the tills were counted out, I stayed another hour to take care of the dishes, since nobody had a chance to do a first load. Oliver was grateful, even though he grumbled about having to make some calls and rearrange Sunday's schedule so I could come in a couple hours late. Irene and Jeremy, Avenue Brew's owners, would kick his ass if he let me go into overtime.
Danny suggested that we deserved a few drinks ourselves after managing to get through the shift without killing anyone. Not even Marina could find a reason to disagree with him.
The neighborhood had undergone enough gentrification to support an upscale brunch spot, an ice cream parlor, a gourmet burger restaurant, a coffee and bahn mi shop, and Avenue Brew (to name a few examples), but not yet quite enough that the people who staffed them couldn’t afford to live within a ten-minute walk from the main avenue where all these hep eateries stood between 24-hour corner stores with slot machines in back, late-night Chinese and Mexico-Italian takeout joints with bulletproof glass at the counters, and long-shuttered delis and shoe stores. Twenty on Poplar was the watering hole set aside for people like us. It was dim, a bit dilapidated, and inexpensive, and usually avoided by denizens of the condos popping up on the vacant lots and replacing clusters of abandoned row houses.
When we arrived, Kyle waved us over. He didn’t work at Avenue Brew anymore, but still kept up with a few of us. He was at Twenty at least four nights out of the week.
So there we all were. I sat with a brooding stranger freestyling to himself in a low mumble on the stool to my left and Oliver on my right, who tapped at his phone and nursed a bottle of Twisted Tea. To Oliver’s right sat Marina, staring at nothing in particular and trying to ignore Danny, who stood behind her, closer than she would have liked, listening to Kyle explain the crucial differences between the Invincible comic book and the Invincible web series.
I recall being startled back to something like wakefulness when it seemed to me that the ceiling had sprouted a new fan. I blinked my eyes, and it wasn’t there anymore. It reminded me of an incident from when I was still living with my folks in South Jersey and still had a car, and was driving home from a friend’s house party up in Bergen County. It was 6:30 AM, I hadn’t slept all night, and needed to get home so I could get at least little shuteye before heading to Whole Foods for my 11:00 AM shift. I imagined I passed beneath the shadows of overpasses I knew weren’t there, and realized I was dreaming at the wheel.
I was pretty thoroughly zombified at that point. Heather and I had broken up for good the night before, and I hadn't gotten even a minute of sleep. Calling out at Avenue Brew was tough. Unless you found someone willing to cover your shift on like six hours' notice, you were liable to get a writeup, a demotion, or your hours cut if you couldn't produce a doctor's note. So I loaded up on caffeine pills and Five-Hour Energy bottles at the corner store, and powered through as best I could.
I finished the last thimbleful of Blue Moon in my glass. Oliver wiped the sweat from the back of his neck with a napkin and covered his mouth to stifle a laugh at the KiwiFarms thread he was scrolling through. Pool balls clacked; somebody swore and somebody laughed. The TouchTunes box was playing Bob Dylan’s “Rain Day Woman #12 & 35,” and enough bleary 40-something men around the bar were bobbing their heads and mouthing the words to make it impossible to determine which one of them paid two bucks to hear it. A guy by the cigarette machine who looked like a caricature of Art Carney in flannel and an old Pixies T-shirt was accosting a woman who must have been a toddler when he hit drinking age, and she momentarily made eye contact with me as she scanned the area for a way out. Danny was shouting over the bartender’s head, carrying on a conversation with the Hot Guy from Pizza Stan’s, who was sitting on the horseshoe’s opposite arm.
I never got his name, but when Oliver first referred to him as the Hot Guy from Pizza Stan’s, I knew exactly who he meant. Philly scene kid par excellence. Mid-20s, washed-out black denim, dyed black hair, thick bangs, and dark, gentle eyes. He was only truly alluring when he was on the job, because he seldom smiled then—and when he smiled, he broke the spell by exposing his teeth, stained a gnarly shade of mahogany from too much smoking and not enough brushing.
“How’s Best? Marcus still a joker?” Danny asked him.
“Yeah, you know Marcus. You know how he is.”
So the Hot Guy had been working at Best Burger (directly across the street from Avenue Brew) ever since Pizza Stan’s owners mismanaged the place unto insolvency. (Afterwards it was renovated and reopened as a vegan bakery—which incidentally closed down about a month ago.) Danny used to work at Best Burger, but that ended after he got into a shouting match with the owner. I happened to overhear it while I was dragging in the tables and collecting the chairs from the sidewalk the night it happened. It wasn’t any of my business, and I tried not to pay attention, but they were really tearing into each other. A month later, Oliver welcomed Danny aboard at Avenue Brew. I hadn’t known he’d been interviewed, and by then it was too late to mention the incident. But I’d have been a hypocrite to call it a red flag after the way I resigned from my position as Café Chakra's assistant manager two years earlier—not that we need to go dredging that up right now. Let's say there was some bad blood and leave it at that.
Anyway, I was thinking about giving in and buying a pack of cigarettes from the machine—and then remembered that Twenty didn’t have a cigarette machine. I looked again. The Art Carney-lookalike was still there, fingering his phone with a frown, but the girl was gone—and so was the cigarette machine.
I had only a moment to puzzle over this before Danny clapped me on the shoulder and thrust a shot glass in front of me.
“Starfish!” he said. (Danny called me Starfish. Everybody else called me Pat.) “You look like you need some juice.”
He distributed shots to everyone else. Marina declined hers, but changed her mind when Kyle offered to take it instead.
She and Kyle had stopped sleeping together after Kyle left Avenue Brew to work at the Victory taproom on the Parkway, but Marina was still concerned about his bad habits, which Danny delighted in encouraging.
We all leaned in to clink our glasses. Before I could find an appropriate moment to ask Marina if I could bum a cigarette, she got up to visit the bathroom. Danny took her seat and bowed his head for a conspiratorial word with Kyle.
I watched from the corner of my eye and tried to listen in. Like Marina, I was a little worried about Kyle. He got hired at Avenue Brew around the same time I did, just before the pandemic temporarily turned us into a takeout joint. He was a senior at Drexel then, an English major, and sometimes talked about wanting to either find work in publishing or carve out a career as a freelance writer after graduating. But first he intended to spend a year getting some life in before submitting himself to the forever grind.
He read a lot of Charles Bukowski and Hunter Thompson. He relished the gritty and sordid, and had already been good at sniffing it out around the neighborhood and in West Philly before Danny introduced him to cocaine, casinos, strip clubs, and a rogue’s gallery of shady but fascinating people. (None were really Danny’s friends; just fellow passengers who intersected with the part of his life where he sometimes went to Parx, sometimes came out ahead, sometimes spent his winnings on coke, and sometimes did bumps at titty bars.) Kyle recounted these adventures with a boyish enthusiasm for the naked reality of sleaze, like a middle schooler telling his locker room buddies about catching his older brother in flagrante and seeing so-and-so body parts doing such-and-such things.
Marina hated it. She never said as much to me, but she was afraid that the template Kyle set for his life during his “year off” was in danger of becoming locked in. The anniversary of his graduation had already passed, and now here he was trying to convince Danny to contribute a couple hundred dollars toward a sheet of acid his guy had for sale. He wasn't doing much writing lately.
I was the oldest employee at Avenue Brew (as I write this I’m 37, but fortunately I don’t look it), and when Kyle still worked with us I felt like it was my prerogative to give him some advice. The longer he waited to make inroads, I once told him, the more likely he’d be seen as damaged goods by the publishing world. He needed to jam his foot in the door while he was still young.
I could tell the conversation bored him, and didn’t bring up the subject again.
The bartender took my glass and curtly asked if I’d like another drink.
“No thanks, not yet,” I answered.
She slid me my bill.
I missed the old bartender, the one she’d replaced. I forget her name, but she was ingenuous and energetic and sweet. Pretty much everyone had some sort of crush on her. Sometimes she came into Avenue Brew for lunch, and tipped us as well as we tipped her. Maybe three months before that night—Danny witnessed it—she suddenly started crying and rushed out the door. Everyone at the bar mutely looked to each other for an explanation. (Fortunately for Twenty, the kitchen manager hadn’t left yet, and picked up the rest of her shift.)
She never came back. None of us had seen her since. But drafts still had to be poured and bottlecaps pulled off, and now here was another white woman in her mid-twenties wearing a black tank top, a pushup bra, and a scrunchie, same as before. Twenty’s regulars grew accustomed to not expecting to see the person she’d replaced, and life went on.
“How’re you doing?” I asked Oliver, just to say something to somebody, and to keep my thoughts from wandering back to Heather.
“Just kind of existing right now,” he answered. His phone lay face-up on the counter. He was swiping through Instagram, and I recognized the avatar of the user whose album he hate-browsed.
“And how’s Austin been?” I asked.
“Oh, you know. Not even three weeks after getting over the jetlag from his trip back from the Cascades, he’s off touring Ireland.” He shook his head. “Living his best life.”
He’d hired Austin on a part-time basis in September. We needed a new associate when Emma was promoted to replace a supervisor who'd quit without even giving his two weeks. There was a whole thing. I'm having a hard time recalling the guy's name, but I liked him well enough. He was a good worker and he seemed like a bright kid, but he was—well, he was young. Naïve. One day he found Jeremy sitting in the back room with his laptop, and took advantage of the open-door policy to ask why the store manager and supervisors didn’t get health benefits or paid time off. Jeremy told him it "was being worked on," and that he couldn’t discuss it any further at that time. I understand the kid got argumentative, though I never knew precisely what was said.
Irene started visiting the shop a lot more often after that, almost always arriving when the kid was working. No matter what he was doing, she’d find a reason to intervene, to micromanage and harangue him, and effectively make his job impossible. A coincidence, surely.
It’s something I still think about. By any metric, Jeremy and Irene have done very well for themselves. They’re both a little over 40 years old. I remember hearing they met at law school. In addition to Avenue Brew, they own a bistro in Francisville and an ice cream parlor in Point Breeze. They have a house on the Blue Line, send their son to a Montessori school, and pull up to their businesses in a white Volkswagen ID.4. But whenever the subject of benefits, wages, or even free shift meals came up, they pled poverty. It simply couldn’t be done. But they liked to remind us about all they did to make Avenue Brew a fun place to work, like let the staff pick the music and allow Oliver and me to conduct a beer tasting once a day. They stuck Black Lives Matter, Believe Women, and Progress flag decals on the front door and windows, and I remember Irene wearing a Black Trans Lives Matter shirt once or twice when covering a supervisor's shift. None of the college students or recent graduates who composed most of Avenue Brew's staff could say the bosses weren't on the right team. And yet...
I'm sorry—I was talking about Austin. He was maybe 30 and already had another job, a “real” job, some sort of remote gig lucrative enough for him to make rent on a studio in the picturesque Episcopal church down the street that had been converted into upscale apartments some years back. Austin wasn’t looking for extra cash. He wanted to socialize. To have something to do and people to talk to in the outside world. He wanted to make friends, and all of us could appreciate that—but it’s hard to be fond of a coworker who irredeemably sucks at his job. Austin never acted with any urgency, was inattentive to detail, and even after repeated interventions from Oliver and the supervisors, he continued to perform basic tasks in bafflingly inefficient ways. Having Austin on your shift meant carrying his slack, and everyone was fed up after a few months. Oliver sat him down, told him he was on thin ice, and gave him a list of the areas in which he needed to improve if he didn’t want to be let go.
When Austin gave Oliver the indignant “I don’t need this job” speech, it was different from those times Danny or I told a boss to go to hell and walked out. Austin truly didn’t need it. He basically said the job was beneath him, and so was Oliver.
It got deep under Oliver’s skin. He did need the job and had to take it seriously, even when it meant being the dipshit manager chewing out a man four or five years his senior. He earned $18 an hour (plus tips when he wasn’t doing admin work), had debts to pay off, and couldn't expect to get any help from his family.
The important thing, though, the part I distinctly remember, was that Oliver was looking at a video of a wading bird Austin had recorded. An egret, maybe. White feathers, long black legs, pointy black beak. Austin must have been standing on a ledge above a creek, because he had an overhead view of the bird as it stood in the water, slowly and deliberately stretching and retracting its neck, eyeing the wriggling little shadows below. As far as the fish could know, they were swimming around a pair of reeds growing out of the silt. The predator from which they extended was of a world beyond their understanding and out of their reach.
The video ended. Oliver moved on to the next item: a photograph of the bird from the same perspective, with a fish clamped in its beak. Water droplets flung from the victim's thrashing tail caught the sunlight. And I remember now, I clearly remember, the shapes of like twelve other fish stupidly milling about the bird's feet, unperturbed and unpanicked.
Danny peered at Oliver’s phone and observed a resemblance between the bird—its shape and bearing, and the composition of the photograph—and a POV porn video shot from behind and above, and he told us so. Elaborately. He made squawking noises.
“And mom says I’m a degenerate,” Oliver sighed. “Can you practice your interspecies pickup artist shit somewhere else?” Oliver flicked his wrist, shooing Danny off, and held his phone in front of his face to signal that he was done talking.
Danny sagged a little on his stool and turned away. I sometimes felt bad for him. For all his faults, he had the heart of a puppy dog. He really did think of us as his tribe. There was nobody else who’d only ever answer “yes” when you asked him to pick up a shift, and he did it completely out of loyalty.
He was turning 29 in a week. I wondered how many people would actually turn out to celebrate with him at the Black Taxi. Kyle probably would—but even he regarded Danny more as a source of vulgar entertainment than a friend.
Then it happened again. When I turned to speak to Oliver, there’d been a pair of pool cues leaning side-by-side against the wall a few stools down. Now they were gone.
This time it might have been my imagination. Somebody passing by could have casually snatched them up and kept walking.
But a moment later I seemed to notice a second TouchTunes box protruding from the wall directly behind me. I let it be.
Marina returned from the bathroom. Danny rose and offered her back her seat with an exaggerated bow. Before she got settled, I asked if she’d like to step outside with me. She withdrew her pack of Marlboro Menthols from her canvas bag, which she left sitting on the stool to deter Danny from sitting back down.
Marina never minded letting me bum cigarettes from time to time. I couldn’t buy them for myself anymore; it’s a habit I could never keep under control, and was only getting more expensive. Like everything else in the world. About once a month I reimbursed her by buying her a pack.
The air out on the sidewalk was as hot as the air inside Twenty, but easier to breathe. After lighting up, Marina leaned against the bricks and sighed.
“I wish Oliver would fire Danny already and get it over with.”
I nodded. Marina rarely talked about anything but work.
“He sneaks drinks and doesn't think anyone notices he's buzzed,” she went on. “He steals so much shit and isn’t even a little subtle about it. He’s going to get Oliver in trouble. And he’s a creep.”
“Yeah,” I said. These were her usual complaints about Danny, and they were all true. “At least he’s better than Austin.”
“That’s a low bar.”
Three dirt bikes and an ATV roared down the lonely street, charging through stop sign after stop sign, putting our talk on hold.
“Remind me. You’ve got one semester left, right?” I asked after the noise ebbed.
“Yep.”
Marina was a marketing major at Temple. She’d had an internship during the spring semester, and her boss told her to give her a call the very minute she graduated. Her parents in central Pennsylvania couldn’t pay her rent or tuition for her, so she was a full-time student and a full-time employee at Avenue Brew. Her emotional spectrum ranged from "tired" to "over it." She’d been waiting tables and working at coffee shops since she was seventeen, had no intention of continuing for even a day longer than she had to, and feared the escape hatch would slam shut if she dallied too long after prying it open.
She’d considered majoring in English, like Kyle. She went for marketing instead. I couldn’t blame her.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “You’ve been kind of off all day.”
“I’m terrible.”
“Why?”
I gave dodgy answers, but she asked precisely the right follow-up questions to get me going about what happened with Heather the night before.
It was the new job. Before the pandemic, Heather worked as a server at a Center City bar and grill. (That's where I met her; we were coworkers for about a year, and then I left to work Café Chakra because it was quieter and closer to where I lived.) When the place closed its doors and laid everyone off during the lockdown, she got a stopgap job at the Acme on Passyunk, and hated it. Then in March, she found a bar-and-lounge gig in a ritzy hotel on Broad Street. Very corporate. Excellent pay, great benefits. Definitely a step up. But her new employers made Irene and Jeremy look like Bob and Linda Belcher by comparison. It was the kind of place where someone had recently gotten herself fired for leaving work to rush to the hospital after getting the news that her grandmother was about to be taken off life support, and not finding someone to come in and cover the last two hours of her shift.
Heather seldom worked fewer than fifty-five hours a week, and her schedule was even more erratic than mine. At least once a week she left the hotel at 1:00 or 2:00 AM and returned at 9:00 the next morning. Neither of us could remember the last time she’d had two consecutive days off, and it had been over a month since one of mine overlapped with one of hers. She’d spent it drinking alone at home. All she wanted was some privacy.
I’d biked to South Philly to meet her when she got home at 1:30. The argument that killed our relationship for good began around 2:30, when I complained that we never had sex anymore. Heather accused me of only caring about that, when she was so exhausted and stressed that her hair was falling out in the shower. Quit the job? She couldn’t quit. The money was too good. She had student loans, medical bills, and credit card debt, and for the first time in her life she could imagine paying it all off before hitting menopause.
So, yeah, I was cranky about our sex life being dead in the water. Say whatever you like. But at that point, what were we to each other? We did nothing together anymore but complain about work before one or both of us fell asleep. That isn’t a relationship.
She said my hair always smelled like sandwiches, even after bathing, and she was done pretending it didn’t turn her off. I told her she was one to talk—she always reeked of liquor. As things escalated, we stopped caring if her roommates heard us. “You want to be a father?” she shouted around 4:00 AM. “Making what you make? That poor fucking kid.”
We fought until sunrise, and I left her apartment with the understanding that I wouldn’t be coming back, wouldn’t be calling her ever again. I biked home and sat on the steps facing the cement panel that was my house’s backyard. After my phone died and I couldn’t anaesthetize myself with dumb YouTube videos or make myself feel crazy staring at the download button for the Tinder app, I watched the sparrows hopping on and off the utility lines for a while.
At 11:40 I went inside. One of my roommates was already in the shower, so the best I could do was put on a clean Avenue Brew T-shirt before walking to the shop and clocking in at noon to help deal with the lunch rush.
“That’s a lot,” Marina finally said. “Sorry.”
I don’t know what I was expecting her to say. She was sixteen years my junior, after all, and just a coworker. She didn’t need to hear any of this, and I definitely didn't need to be telling her. But who else was there to tell?
She’d already finished her cigarette. I still had a few puffs left. She went inside.
I decided to call it a night.
The second TouchTunes box was gone—naturally. Danny had taken my stool, and regarded my approach with a puckish you snooze you lose grin. I wasn’t going to say anything. I’d just pay my bill, give everyone a nod goodnight, and walk the five blocks back home.
And then Danny disappeared.
One second, he was there. The next—gone.
Danny didn’t just instantaneously vanish. Even when something happens in the blink of an eye, you can still put together something of a sequence. I saw him—I seemed to see him—falling into himself, collapsing to a point, and then to nothing.
You know how sometimes a sound is altogether inaudible unless you’re looking at the source—like when you don’t realize somebody’s whispering at you, and can then hear and understand them after they get your attention? I think that was the case here. I wouldn't have known to listen if I hadn't seen it happen. What I heard lingered for two, maybe three seconds, and wasn't any louder than a fly buzzing inside a lampshade. A tiny and impossibly distant scream, pitchshifted like a receding ambulance siren into a basso drone...
I don’t know. I don’t know for sure. I’m certain I remember a flash of red, and I have the idea of Danny’s trunk expanding, opening up as it imploded. A crimson flower, flecked white, with spooling pink stalks—and Danny’s wide-eyed face above it, drawn twisting and shrinking into its petals.
For an instant, Twenty’s interior shimmered. Not shimmered, exactly—glitched would be a better word. If you’re old enough to remember the fragmented graphics that sometimes flashed onscreen when you turned on the Nintendo without blowing on the cartridge, you’ll have an idea of what I mean. It happened much too fast, and there was too much of it to absorb. The one clear impression I could parse was the mirage of a cash register flickering upside-down above the pool table.
Not a cash register. The shape was familiar, but the texture was wrong. I think it was ribbed, sort of like a maggot. I think it glistened. Like—camo doesn’t work anymore when the wearer stops crouching behind a bush and breaks into a run. Do you get what I’m saying?
Nobody else seemed to notice. The pool balls clacked. A New Order track was playing on the TouchTunes box. A nearby argument about about Nick Sirianni continued unabated.
Finally, there was a downward rush of air—and this at least elicited a reaction from the bartender, who slapped my bill to keep it from sailing off the counter.
“Danny,” I said.
“Danny?” Kyle asked me quietly. His face had gone pale.
“Danny?” Oliver repeated in a faraway voice.
After a pause, Kyle blinked a few times. “You heard from him?”
“God forbid,” said Marina. “When he quit I was like, great, I can keep working here after all.”
“Oh, come on—”
“Kyle. Did I ever show you those texts he sent me once at three in the morning?” The color had returned to Oliver’s face.
“No, what did he say?”
Oliver tapped at his phone and turned the screen toward Kyle.
“Oh. Oh, jeez.”
“Right? Like—if you want to ask me something, ask me. You know? Don’t be weirdly accusatory about it…”
I pulled a wad of fives and ones from my pocket, threw it all onto the counter, and beelined for the exit without consideration for the people I squeezed through and shoved past on the way.
I heard Marina saying “let him go.”
I went a second consecutive night without sleep. Fortunately I wasn’t scheduled to come in the next day.
The schedule. It’s funny. Oliver was generally great at his job, and even when he wasn’t, I cut him a lot of slack because I knew Irene and Jeremy never gave him a moment’s peace. But I could never forgive him those times he waited until the weekend to make up and distribute the schedule. This was one of those weeks he didn’t get around to it until Saturday afternoon. When I found it in my inbox, Danny’s name wasn’t anywhere on it.
As far as I know, nobody who hadn’t been at Twenty that night asked what happened to him. We were a bit overstaffed as it was, and everyone probably assumed Danny was slated for the chopping block. The part-timers were, for the most part, happy to get a few additional hours.
Oliver abruptly quit around Labor Day after a final acrimonious clash with the owners. I never found out the details, and I never saw him again. Jeremy and Irene took turns minding the store while a replacement manager was sought. None of the supervisors would be pressured into taking the job; they knew from Oliver what they could expect.
About three weeks after Oliver left, I came in for my purchasing shift and found Jeremy waiting for me in the back room. I knew it was serious when he didn’t greet me with the awkward fist-bump he ordinarily required of his male employees.
“You’ve seen the numbers,” he said. Business for the summer had fallen short of expectations, it was true, and he and Irene had decided to rein in payroll expenses. My purchaser position was being eliminated. Its responsibilities would be redistributed among the supervisors and the new manager, when one was found. In the meantime, I'd be going back to the regular $11 an hour (plus tips of course) associate position full-time.
Jeremy assured me I'd be first in the running for supervisor the next time there was an opening.
I told him it was fine, I was done, and if he’d expected the courtesy of two weeks’ notice, he shouldn’t have blindsided me like that.
“Well, that’s your choice,” he answered, trying not to look pleased. His payroll problem was solving itself.
I racked up credit card debt for a few months. Applied for entry-level museum jobs that might appreciate my art history degree. Aimed for some purchasing and administrative assistant gigs, and just for the hell of it, turned in a resume for a facilitator position at an after-school art program. Got a few interviews. All of them eventually told me they’d decided to go in a different direction. I finally got hired to bartend at Hops from Underground, a microbrewery on Fairmount.
I’m still there. The money’s okay, but it fluctuates. Hours are reasonable. I’m on their high-deductible health plan. There’s a coworker I’ve been dating. Sort of dating. You know how it goes. In this line of work you get so used to people coming and going that you learn not to get too attached. I walk past Avenue Brew a few times a week, but stopped peering in through the window when I didn't recognize the people behind the counter anymore.