Hoping someone can help with something I may have missed - I have tried everything I can think of to try to get better performance with my hardware which is a Ryzen 5800x with 3080 ti and 32G of 3600T/C18 DDR4 memory.
On mostly low settings, I get dips to 85 FPS and average around 100-110FPS on 3840x1600 which is an ultrawide resolution between 1440p and 4k however when playing at 1440p standard resolution I basically get the same FPS although it stays at the higher end of 110-115FPS more consistently.
I get basically zero increase in FPS by enabling upscaling (DLSS) or by reducing the render resolution, just a decrease in GPU utilization which tells me it is almost certainly CPU bound.
Things I have checked/tried:

• XMP/DOCP is enabled and RAM is running at 3600T
• Infinity fabric is running at 1800MHz
• Played with Render worker count between 4 and 12 (16 threads in total on this chip) and no change
• Played with GPU memory scale between 0.9 and 0.5, lower seems to just smooth the frame time
• Played with texture quality and no change
• Changed between display modes and no difference
• Toggled async compute
• Increasing CPU affinity/priority in Windows
• Changed to windows High Performance power plan
• Closed all other apps eg IQ, Powertoys, G Hub
• Tested CPU in Cinebench R23 to test against reviews - is slightly below at around 14000-14500 multi core where reviews are just over 15000
• Tested GPU in Timespy to compare with reviews - achieves the same Graphics Score.

Is 115-120FPS the absolute maximum my CPU can handle for Warzone/DMZ or is there anything I can do to gain an improvement? NB I get higher frame rates in multi player ~140-160FPS.
Below are my settings from options.3.codhq.cst:

BulletImpacts:0.0 = "true" ClutterMaxDist:0.0 = "2500.000000" CorpsesCullingThreshold:0.0 = "0.850000" DLSSPerfMode:0.0 = "Maximum Quality" DLSSSharpness:0.0 = "0.720000" DefaultSMAATechnique:0.0 = "Filmic SMAA T2x" DeferredPhysics:0.0 = "Low Quality" DynamicSceneResolution:0.0 = "false" DynamicSceneResolutionTarget:0.0 = "16.670000" FilmicStrength:0.0 = "1.000000" GPUName:0.0 = "NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3080 Ti" GTAOQuality:0.0 = "R_GTAO_QUALITY_MEDIUM" HDR:0.0 = "Off" ModelLodDistanceQuality:0.0 = "High Quality" ModelLodQuality:0.0 = "High quality" NVIDIAImageScaling:0.0 = "false" NVIDIAImageScalingQuality:0.0 = "Maximum Quality" NVIDIAImageScalingSharpness:0.0 = "0.690000" ParticleLighting:0.0 = "3" ParticleQualityLevel:0.0 = "low" ParticuleResolution:0.0 = "false" PersistentDamageLayer:0.0 = "true" PixelPerLightmapTexel:0.0 = "32.000000" ReflectionProbeHalfResolution:0.0 = "true" ReflectionProbeRelighting:0.0 = "4" SMAAQuality:0.0 = "SMAA_QUALITY_MEDIUM" SSAOTechnique:0.0 = "Off" SSRMode:0.0 = "Deferred LQ" ScreenSpaceShadowQuality:0.0 = "Off" ShaderQuality:0.0 = "Low" ShadowMapResolution:1.0 = "Low" SpotShadowCacheSize:0.0 = "3" SpotShadowQualityLevel:0.0 = "Low" StaticSunshadowClipmapResolution:0.0 = "1024" SubdivisionLevel:0.0 = "3" SunShadowCascade:0.0 = "High (2-3 cascades)" Tessellation:0.0 = "0_Off" TextureFilter:0.0 = "TEXTURE_FILTER_ANISO8X" TextureQuality:0.0 = "1" UiQuality:0.0 = "Auto" VirtualTexturingMemoryMode:0.1 = "Large" VolumetricQuality:0.0 = "QUALITY_LOW" WaterCausticsMode:0.0 = "Off" WeatherGridVolumesQuality:0.0 = "Off" WorldStreamingQuality:0.0 = "High" XeSSQuality:0.0 = "Balanced" SkipIntro:0.0 = "true" WeaponCycleDelay:0.0 = "0" ConfigCloudSavegameEnabled:0.0 = "true" ConfigCloudStorageEnabled:1.0 = "true" RecommendedSet:0.0 = "true" RendererWorkerCount:0.0 = "12" VideoMemoryScale:0.0 = "0.850000" AsyncCompute:0.0 = "false" AATechniquePreferred:0.0 = "" Version:0.0 = "1" FilmGrain:0.0 = "0.000000" VirtualTexturingLargeMemory:0.0 = "true" 

​

I took my reactive dog to the vet yesterday for his first routine cleaning. We did the usual - gave him trazodone the night before to make him more calm, secured his muzzle and let him ride in my lap on the way to the vet. He surprisingly weighed in without barking at the vet in the lobby, and we made it into the exam room.
A tech I never met before came in with a blanket. She told us she would give my dog anesthesia in his back leg and he should be asleep in 5-10 minutes. I held the blanket over his head while she gave him the shot and she quickly left the room. Well, this wasn’t enough lol. After 10 minutes my dog was still very nervous and excited, not showing any signs of it kicking in. They ended up giving him 4 doses of anesthesia over the next 40 minutes.
After the tech left the room after the 4th dose, it finally started to affect my dog. He started falling over, blinking rapidly and whining as he was finally loosing the will to fight the sleep. He practically fell over on the blanket, and I took off my shoes and laid down on the ground next to him telling him everything was going to be okay.
This is when I began to have flashbacks off putting my last dog down. (He was 10 and had cancer and hip dysplasia.) Us being in the room alone, laying on the blanket while my baby slowly left us, all brought back memories and I started bawling my eyes out. I looked at my reactive dog as the anesthesia was making him loopy, and realized I could never end his life early.
Yes, its annoying I have to have a 30 minute greeting routine when guests come over. Yes, it’s frustrating having to be on high alert during our walks to keep distance from strangers. Yes, it’s defeating when he lunges at people out of the blue when he had good experiences prior.
My whole life has adjusted to my reactive dog. After his first 2 bites (prior to being muzzle trained) I had countless arguments with my fiancé with me being the one to suggest BE. We decided to get a trainer and while life has slowly improved, BE was sort of still on the table.
Not anymore. Every reactive moment he had flashed through my eyes while looking at him fading. As well as every good moment of him being the sweetest dog in our family. He is very obedient, cuddly, energetic, and his one flaw is being terrified of strange humans. I couldn’t purposely end his life early. He has completely changed my life and I would do anything for this dog even given reactivity.
10 minutes after my revelation the vet tech came in to slide him to the back while he laid on the blanket. My dog was still a teensie bit awake, and he started to groan as they pulled him out the room. When he reached the door frame, he put his paws on it and tried to stop them from taking him around the corner and it made everyone fold over laughing. I left so happy knowing I would get my crazy dog back.

My fiancé and I got 3 hermit crabs about 2 weeks ago. I did a lot of research when I got home on how to take care of them, but I didn't look much into PPDS because I assumed it was just due to people giving them bad living conditions and not knowing how to take care of them, which I of course wasn't going to do 🙄. Well, I just watched a video on it and apparently they get it from getting good conditions too fast? I'm unsure what to do now.
I currently have 2 tanks set up: the first one I set up as soon as I got home. It's pretty small, but the substrate is about 8 feet. One of the hermit crabs went under about a week ago and hasn't come back up, but no smell. I then saw something about using a plastic tote as a temporary container, and made a new enclosure using that so they could have more space. Substrate is about 6 inches in that. The humidity is pretty high in both of them. The first one has no thermostat, but it does have a plant heat mat (will be upgrading for final tank). The second one has a thermostat and a plant heat mat. I have it set to 80 in the day and 75 at night. The humidity in both stay pretty high, often getting above 95.
I'm really nervous that I've messed things up now. I just wanted to give them a nice home as fast as I could. 😟 They aren't eating or drinking from what I've seen and I'm really nervous they aren't going to make it.
So I have a few questions:

1. Should I do anything like lower the temp and humidity, or just wait at this point? I saw that it should be 70-72 the first week and about 70% humidity. Obviously I've way overshot that.
2. I haven't seen them eat. I've tried giving a variety of food, like eggs, almonds, blueberries, blackberries, bananas, even worm castings from my worm bin and leaves from my yard. How can I get them to eat?
3. I haven't seen them drink. They dip their toes into the water but that's it. How can I encourage them to drink and get in the water?
4. What should I do for the one that went under? Should I keep the heat on in that tank and leave the lid on, or let it air out until she comes up? At what point should I assume she's dead?

Please feel free to give any other advice. I really just want to make sure all 3 of them survive and live happy lives.

Ya title not that great but please listen before you decide my fate.
I female (16) and my step mom (40) don’t get along. When I don’t do something right I will get yelled at when she does I will fidget and avoid eye contact. I’m autistic so it’s really uncomfortable to make eye contact. My step mom knows this but makes fun of me and mimics me when I do.
I get overwhelmed easily and have had a few meltdowns in the past year cause I was being overstimulated. When I do I try and ask to take a break or let me calm down but she just gets more upset and I often will run to the washroom and lock my self in so I can calm down. I remember having a very bad day and wanting to go home but my step mom refused to let me call my mom or even talk to her.
All that being said I don’t see her as a mother at one point I did but not anymore. She used to take me everywhere before my sibling was born and she started taking her everywhere. I understand that cause she is her first born child. But then she would include my dad and leave me at home well they went on trips. I was okay with that just kinda sad cause I only see my dad every other weekend and felt like she was taking my dad away.
My dad has told me many times he is sorry that she does this and doesn’t take me (before you come for his throat my step mom makes most of the money he dropped out of high school so doesn’t have the greatest job and spends it on our “father daughter date nights” he takes me out to dinner and to do stuff)
My step grandma(? I think that’s what you would call her) Anyway she used to spoil me rotten and I was so grateful and told her she didn’t have to. Now when my half sister came obviously all her love and attention was to her now and I understand that 100% nothing wrong with that. But now when I do get cards from my step grandma they aren’t even signed I’m not going to lie it kinda hurts but it fine I can deal with it.
Now when Mother’s Day came along I just put “Have a good Mother’s Day Lily from Annie (fake names)” when she read that she gave me a weird look and said why didn’t you just put mom? I didn’t say anything and she went on to say I have know you since you were six you should be calling me mom by now. I said I don’t feel comfortable calling you mom sorry. She got really upset and stayed in her bedroom the rest of the day. Im feeling bad about it now so AITA?

Anyone else struggle with this? Like I’ve got huge problems with telling myself no. Maybe I’m too saft on that shit but. I mean, last nights example, I had 4 ambien tabs to last me for at least 2/3 times I imagined. Used them all last night and spent probably three hours looking for the last one afterwards loool.
But I remember when I wanted to try oxy my first time, I came close to ODing, took a one day break (because I was still way too fucked from the night’s before use) and just carried on using.
I honestly don’t really care if I OD and die in my sleep/passed out from the drugs.
When I’m sober I barely have the will to live anyway. I know three months sobriety is a short time in terms of recovery, especially mental (and the way the brain functions in general).
But I just can’t imagine living in full on abstinence, like completely sober.
I’ve been put on meds but I abuse every single one that you can abuse. Even if it brings a shitty lil “high” and has more side effects than actual recreational value.
Ima lonely af 19 yute and when I’m not high is sit or lay around mad af sad af. I try to get some physical activity in everyday for the stress relief and so I don’t hate myself for gaining weight.
But that’s not enough. Nothing I’ve tried takes my head off of the cravings and I always want to do somethin to get fucked up. I sometimes be getting the most ridiculous outrageous ideas and just do it impulsively, in 10 seconds before I even give myself time to think it over.
I’ve been to a rehab and tried therapy numerous times
I have a couple people I could talk to when I’m feeling itchy to take something but I don’t trust them because I feel like they’ll snitch on me and get me on strict control. I know it’s for my own good but I just really dislike the act of telling on someone no matter what they’ve done

Hi all,
I wanted to share because I've been a member of this sub for a while and finally reached a point where I'm proud of myself.
For context, I grew up pretty poor. We relied on the salvation army donations for Christmas presents and food for holidays, lived in a trailer park for a while, food stamps, free lunches, etc. It didn't help my stepdad had a gambling addiction and what little we could have, ended up being pawned. Our neighborhood was rough (drugs, a couple of murders, a man breaking into girls bedrooms at night) and I was always afraid.
I ended up dropping out of high school due to an abusive home life but really wanted to go to college. My parents couldn't afford it and my stepdad was set on my becoming an unwed mother who would be a drug addict so he thought spending money on my education was a waste. Thankfully someone in my church helped by giving me 5k and between Pell grants and astronomical loans, I was admitted.
I graduated and ended up not going into the field I studied. I moved out, worked two jobs 65-70 hours a week and slept on a blanket on the floor of my apartment. I had no bed, no food (thank God for the dollar menu at taco bell and McDonald's), but I had a roof over my head and a semi reliable car.
I ended up in an abusive relationship and cancelled my lease putting me in debt and skipping meals to pay for it. I couch hopped for several years, getting an entry level job at a bank and keeping only what I could fit in my car.
I continued in the same field, taking various positions and finally ended up in the making $19 an hour. Huge money for me and allowed me to actual go to grocery stores and buy clothes that weren't second hand. I worked my ass off, going to work during the day and staying up all night studying- first my bachelors then my MBA, various licenses and certificates. For the first time in my life,companies were reaching out to ME, asking me to apply and following up when I would withdraw my applications. At one point this year, I had three different offers. I ended up working it out and landed over $60/hr with a great company and a manager I adore.
I still can't believe how life turned out and I try to remember daily where I came from. To have a car that doesn't overheat and have to blast the heat in the summer, to have a bed to sleep on that wasn't once on the side of the road, to wear shoes that aren't broken. I finally feel safe, financially sure but physically, in a home that has locks that work, there are no gun shots at night. I can eat fresh fruit and veggies- something I never had growing up.
I'm keeping the mindset of poverty though. I don't want lifestyle creep. I don't get rid of things until they're broken, I tend to be cheap and my hsa, 401k, and savings receive the bulk of my excess funds.
Tl;dr- I grew up poor being told I'd amount to nothing, dropped out of high school, slept on a blanket in an empty apartment and now make 6 figures.

Hey, Just ranting and fuming yknow - apologies in advance for the block of text incoming.
I work FT at a NFP arts center, only two of us (manager and me) in the department. I wanted to do some professional development so recently started an online 6 week course and mentorship which is directly related to my profession/role.
I paid for this course (over $1000) out of my own pocket as I believe this was an investment for my career and would help me improve in my role. I was talking to another co-worker about this course, and they mentioned I should apply for time in lieu (TIL) for the study period as other co workers have done the same - except where the organisation has actually contributed to covering the course fees plus considered study time as TIL.
So I applied to HR, my manager and their boss - I didn’t even ask for money to be contributed, but just that the 3hours of study a week could acknowledged as TIL. No financial contribution required, just TIL. And?? Denied!
It’s sort of just soured my view completely. HR gave excuses as to why it wasn’t allowed that went round in circle but yet other workers are allowed. And my manager was against it as they said they couldn’t possibly lose me for 3 hours a week. And yet my manager comes in half an hour late every morning and leaves half an hour early (over three hours a week). And same manager saying I’m going to have to start taking over some of their management reporting as they can’t keep up. I found out recently that my manager when WFH didn’t even have access to our venues booking system or main shared email??? Like what are they doing then?
And I am always the one who works nights and weekends. I hardly ever get to take a proper lunch break as picking up the slack of others. And my role has had a high turnover in the past and they are trying to change but then this?
I’m fuming as it feels like what is even the point of trying? It’s so deflating and demotivating. I enjoy the work, even if the money isn’t great being a nfp but now I just feel absolutely taken advantage of. And I just want a manager that encourages me and has my back in these situations.
It’s also frustrating as I want to escalate the situation but it will just be more drama and cause friction as it’s small organisation.
I think I need to step back, set better boundaries and prioritise myself.

My SO and I both have a very distinct memory of renting Silverado when it first came out and seeing the seen where Jake/Costner "falls" off his horse at night (among the kidnappers) and goes over a sharp cliff. We've never seen the scene afterwards. IMDB has been no help. If there is anywhere that we can find a resolution, it's with you good people. Did this scene ever exist outside of our imaginations?

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Ukraine has right to defend itself beyond its borders – UK Foreign Secretary
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US bombers fly over Bosnia in sign of support amid continued secessionist threats
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news

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11-month-old girl dies after left in car for 3 hours while parents went to church: Police
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science

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Study highlights the importance of napping for memory consolidation in early childhood
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New psychology research reveals the “bullshit blind spot” A series of studies found people who were the worst at detecting bullshit not only grossly overestimated their detection ability, but also overestimated their ability compared to other people.
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Rapidly increasing likelihood of exceeding 50 °C in parts of the Mediterranean and the Middle East due to human influence.
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space

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New record set as 17 people are in Earth orbit at the same time right now
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Passed over my house just now in Arkansas. What is this?
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North Korea fails on attempt to launch its first spy satellite
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What’s the most disturbing secret you’ve discovered about someone close to you?
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What are your expensive hobbies?
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TIL: In 2011, a Florida senator tried to bring back dwarf tossing, which was made illegal decades prior, arguing that "In this economy, why would we want people from getting gainful employment". In 1989, dwarf tossing was made illegal after one dwarf died of alcohol poisoning.
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TIL that aqueducts are water channels that use gravity to move water from a source to a destination. An ancient Roman aqueduct used only a 51 foot height difference to push water down a 31-mile-long path, resulting in as little as a 1-inch drop to push water 1,500 feet.
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TIL Ringo Starr had tuberculosis as a child and spent two years recovering in a sanitorium. To entertain himself he used a wooden bobbin to drum objects and developed his love of drumming.
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[OC] NVIDIA Join Trillion Dollar Club
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the different reflections from my glasses
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Us: mid 30s, married 6 years, 2 kids (5 and 1). High earners ($200k+) both work FT.
Currently live in my home city. We moved here when our oldest was 1 assuming a certain level of help from my parents and extended family, who all live here. I pushed the move based on this assumption.
My sister watches our youngest every day (paid). My parents pick up our older child from school twice per week, one of those nights keeping for dinner and bringing home before bedtime. There is no taking them out for ice cream/to the park/over to their house spontaneously. They do babysit occasionally but it feels like a burden. We go out several times per month either alone or with friends and pay a sitter. Extended family gets along well and we all get together somewhat frequently.
Spouse has been struggling mentally/emotionally being away from their family and best friend. They become angry/sad around family events when they are here and their family is not present. They are struggling with living far from aging.
Spouse wants to move our family to their hometown (14 hrs away, pop 1500). The town is a summer hotspot and has a few breweries, shops and eateries but few conveniences outside of gas and small supermarket. There is one school in the town (k-12). Any convenience such as a gym or even a Walmart is a 20+ minute drive in the mountains with things like a Target store, mall, etc 1 hour away.
Spouse feels that by moving there we would have more “support” with our kids (frequent visits throughout the week, a 1-2 day monthly getaway for us because their parents “would just do it”). Spouse also argues that their best friend, spouse and child would visit frequently (live an hour from hometown). We are part owners of a lake house 20 minutes outside of town and we would be able to visit there on summer weekends. Spouse feels our kids could spend their days at the lake instead of paying for summer camp here. Spouse would like to be involved in a community they have ties to.
Spouse feels like they have been “eating it” for 5 years, missing loved ones, for family “support” that hasn’t materialized how we had hoped. They feel that it is my turn to “eat it” and we should “try it my way”.
I feel that moving there would not be better for our family. We could afford a 15 year mortgage there but the house would be at least $150k more for one not as nice as ours. Our current home is nice and will be paid off in 11 years. Because of the location I would likely be driving at least 20 mins each way to work (if not much longer) in the mountains. We have no daycare there; spouse states they and MIL would share daycare, though spouse WFH full time and travels frequently during part of the year. The school is small (20 kids/ grade). Any convenience is a drive. Spouse is not close with extended family there and dislikes their sibling.
AITA for not wanting to move based on logical reasons if it would emotionally benefit my spouse to move?

be me; ex LizarDM
be also me; Adonis Valintellis (Tiefling Paladin), Thalia Milakos (Human Ranger) and Zaahir Kehmet (Earth Genasi Wizard)
turning the corner at speed, Zaahir ploughed into a market stall, throwing an array of fruits and nuts into the air as he struck
pain shot through his hip and back, but before the merchant could even raise their voice, Zaahir was up and running again, tossing a few loose coins over his shoulder in the process
left, right, then left again
he tore through the streets like a man possessed, pumping his arms and legs as he sprinted
his lungs burned and his heart pounded, but he knew he couldn't stop
if he stopped, they'd catch him. And he'd have to start all over again
the amulet he’d stolen slapped against his chest, burrowing a hole into his ribs with each strike
he’d tried to toss it before, get rid of it and all that followed
but no sooner would he try, the amulet would appear back on his person, as if he’d never attempted in the first place
and then there was the old man
that decrepit figure that clung to his mind like a tick. A relentless presence that refused to leave
Zaahir didn’t recognise him. There was very little he recognised
he was in Syracae, that much was certain
but the identity of the old man. The amulet around his neck. The reason he was here in the first place
he knew none of it
it was like a dream. The more he tried to remember, the more he forgot
Zaahir stopped at a corner, gasping for breath as his heart thundered against his rib cage
he had tried to take a different path. Tried to change the outcome
but he recognised these streets. These buildings
in spite of all he had done, he was in the lower agora again
it was as if the world itself were reshaping to fit a certain narrative
a narrative that he was forced to act in, even if he didn’t know the script
he observed the slope of the street, noting the downward decline to his right
muttering a foreign curse under his breath, he turned to the left, and began running
the upward slope burned his quads, but even as he ran, he could feel the world changing
the burn in his quads shifted to his calves, and now he was moving downhill
he stopped in place and turned, glancing in either direction
no matter which way he looked, the road always seemed to move downward
down to the lower agora
he was reflecting on this reality bending phenomenon when he became aware of the subtle changes in the wind
the air around him became hotter, and with it came the distinct odours of a foreign land
sand, salt, myrrh and oil of balanos and cedar
the shadows began to bend, and Zaahir felt the prickle of hairs on his neck begin to rise
a figure appeared at the end of the street, towering and gaunt
he had just the time to make out a bestial head, like that of a jackal, before he took off running
the world shifted around him once more, bending to fit the narrative in which he had no say
and Zaahir continued to play his part, ever the unwilling actor in a story he did not recognise

the rain cascaded down like a flood, running off the makeshift tarp and pooling at the adventurer’s feet
Thalia led the way, scanning what little area she could make out amidst the rain and gloom
behind her, Adonis held up his shield, bearing the weight of their meagre shelter without complaint
5 kilometres was not far to travel. In ideal conditions, the pair could cover that distance within under 45 minutes
but these were not ideal conditions, and their shambling gait slowed their progress to a crawl
peering through the storm, Thalia made out a silhouette in the near distance; pale against the darkened surroundings
beckoning Adonis to follow, Thalia led the way over, guiding the pair in an uncoordinated shuffle towards the figure
the rain parted and the silhouette manifested into the body of a woman, her head lowered as if in grief
dark hair clung to her face like a curtain, the clothes on her back soaked to the bone
Thalia gave a defeated sigh, already steering them away
this woman was the most recent in a long line of unfamiliar faces; giving the ranger just enough hope to cling onto, but not enough to keep the growing dread at bay
try as she might to ignore it, the ever shrinking thread on her wrist served as a terrible reminder of their fading chances of escape
by now, the thread had shrunk to 3 inches. A quarter of what they’d started with
even if they found Zaahir at this very moment, they wouldn’t have the time to escape the Underworld before their entrance closed
observing his partner’s fading willpower, Adonis rested a spare hand on her shoulder, and raised his voice to be heard over the downpour
“shall we try out the spell again? See what we can muster?”
Thalia slowed in her advance and gave a half hearted nod; unconvinced of their chances
the pair came to a stop, and Adonis stepped closer so as to bring them both beneath the full protection of his shield
safe from any wayward droplets of rain, Thalia closed her eyes and began to focus, calling on the ever shrinking well of magical power within her
imitating Zaahir’s spell had proven more difficult than expected
on top of the immense pressure and unforgiving environment; Zaahir’s style of magic couldn’t be further removed from her own
a strict academic approach to the arcane, his magic was brought about through years of careful study and hundreds of hours locked within a dusty library
her own approach was far less refined
to her, magic was less a thing to be studied and manipulated, and more a force to be reasoned with
a wild creature, that if you weren’t careful in your handling of, could just as easily harm you as the target you intended
wielding magic required both patience and care
two attributes that she found herself lacking as of late
drawing on the magic within her, she began to cast the spell, honing in on Zaahir’s unique life force
her perception expanded out like an aura, alerting her to the presence of several souls within the vicinity, each shining with its own distinct light
if she focused, she could begin to make out details. What they were wearing. What they looked like
but before she could begin to search for Zaahir, Thalia was met with an all too familiar resistance
an interference that hovered in the air, blurring her magical sight until each soul was indistinguishable from the next
letting loose a cry of frustration, Thalia released the spell, and her senses returned to her body
“I still can’t do it,” she meekly explained. “I always feel like I’m so close to getting it, but no matter what I do or how hard I try, I can’t make him out in all of... this-”
she waved her hands about frantically, gesturing to everything and nothing at all
giving a weary sigh in response, Adonis squeezed the young woman’s shoulder reassuringly
“it’s not your fault. With the rains and their effects, there may be too much magical energy floating around. It’s no wonder you can’t lock on”
“so what are we supposed to do? Keep walking and hope we stumble across him?”
Thalia pulled away from the paladin’s grasp and turned to meet his gaze, her once brown eyes now a steely grey
“I’m out of my depth here, Adonis. I know I’m meant to stay strong and be brave, but I’m not sure how much longer I can keep pretending that I’m not scared out of my mind”
“a demon almost killed me earlier and we've barely had a moment to stop and think. A few hours before that, you pulled me out of a flaming river of hell, and now, we’re standing on Chaon’s front lawn trying to steal one of his garden ornaments. Everything is moving so fast, and yet, I know we’re not moving fast enough”
she glared up at him, her body taut with anger and frustration
but after only a few moments, all of the strength in her body seemed to fade away, taking the anger along with it
her shoulders slumped, and now she looked up at him with tired eyes, searching his face for any hint of the guidance or wisdom she’d learned to rely on so heavily
“I just need to hear you say that you have a plan. That when all of this is over and done, that things are going to be okay. Because I can’t see the big picture anymore”
Adonis met the young woman’s gaze; her once bright, hopeful eyes now dull and so full of defeat
her will was hanging on by a thread
one wrong word, and that thread would snap
Adonis’ lips curled into a sad, tired smile, and his hand lifted to cradle her cheek
it was cold against his fingers, the last remnants of heat in her body having been stripped away by the rains
he held her for a moment, his mind working overtime to think of the right words. The inspiring phrases. The rousing speeches
but as he looked into her eyes, he knew that they weren’t what she needed right now
“when I first met you on that boat, I saw a scared, frightened young woman, taking her first steps into the wider world. A farmer’s daughter, trying her lot as an adventurer. You were clinging to Namira so tight, I was afraid you’d blow over if you let go for even a moment”
Thalia stared up at him, not saying a word in response
Adonis took that as his sign to continue
“you looked at the world like every little thing in it was a terrible threat. Every wave on the sea, every cloud in the sky. Even an old fool like me. You seemed so sure that the world was out to get you. And that first night, when the harpies came swooping in, I was sure you’d run. Take shelter or hide below deck”
his eyes glazed over as he spoke, as if he weren’t looking at the woman in front of him, but somewhere else. Somewhere far away from here
“imagine my surprise when instead, this frightened, shaking twig of a girl steps out onto the bow of the ship, and begins shooting these harpies down one after the other”
he began miming the arrows, an unconscious smile creeping across his face
“and I looked at you, thinking; where did that frightened girl go?. Who is this…doppleganger that’s taken her place?. Throughout the fight, I continued to watch; and eventually I figured it out. She wasn’t gone. Even then, as she took down harpy after harpy, I could see that she was still afraid”
his eyes focused on Thalia’s face, and the smile faded to a warm, proud expression
“and I knew from that very moment; That’s someone I want at my side. That girl is going to become a hero. Not because you weren’t frightened. But because you were. And you fought anyway”
he gave her shoulder a squeeze and gestured to the terrible rains around them
“now I’ll agree, things look dire. When I look forward, the big picture can be hard to see. But I look at the little picture, and I see what we’ve overcome to get here. No, we haven’t found Zaahir yet. But we know he’s in here, and every step we take, is a step closer to finding him”
Adonis rose to his full height, holding the shield high above his shoulders
“now, I’m ready to keep looking. No matter how long it takes. Are you ready?”
in spite of herself, a smile touched Thalia’s lips, and she felt a warm tear run down her cheek
“yeah”
stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around Adonis’ midsection, holding him tight as the rain pelted down around them
“thank you”
Adonis smiled down at her, feeling the corners of his eyes begin to well up in tears
he wiped them away with a finger, and Thalia pulled away, steadying herself with a long, shaky exhale
the paladin raised an eyebrow, giving her a wry grin
“so how about it. Want to give that spell one more shot?”
a nervous laugh escaped Thalia’s lips before she steeled her nerves and nodded
“yeah. I think so”
Adonis gestured for her to go ahead and Thalia took a deep breath in, closing her eyes as she let the world go quiet around her
when the rain had all but faded away, she dipped into the well of magic and felt the familiar buzz of energy that awaited
she tapped into it, feeling the energy race up her spine and cause her fingertips to tingle and her tongue to go numb
when the buzzing had settled, she began to reach out into the void, expanding her senses to the souls around her
the air hummed with arcane interference, the magic of the Fields hovering all around her
they blurred the essences around her, causing the individual souls to meld together into an incomprehensible soup
Thalia prepared to let the magic go, and then a thought entered her mind
don’t look at the big picture
just before the spell faded from her control, Thalia recalled it, coercing the magic back under her command
this time, when she cast her senses into the void, she didn’t focus on the souls, letting them drift to the peripherals of her vision
she needed something smaller. Something only Zaahir would have
a unique item?
no
any items he possessed would have remained with his physical body
her brow furrowed in concentration, her mind conjuring up an image of her friend
it was blurry and imperfect, but she held it all the same, inspecting him in her mind’s eye
after a moment of careful observation, she was struck by a glaringly obvious feature
the gold in his skin
having been around the mage for so long, she’d almost forgotten how unique his appearance truly was
she nodded to herself, preparing to redirect the spell to seek out the nearest source of gold
but just before the spell could leave her fingertips, a sudden thought entered her mind
Adonis still had his coin purse
what were the chances that he didn’t have a single gold coin on him?
she supposed that she could throw his purse into the bottomless bag, but the thought had scarcely passed her mind before she dismissed it
she didn’t understand how the bag worked, and it wasn’t worth risking the few scraps of magic she had left on a hunch
giving a disappointed sigh, Thalia went back to brainstorming
what was unique to Zaahir?
what did he have, that no one else would?
she thought for several seconds, working over her mental image again and again, searching for something to focus on
her eyes passed over his body, his unique appearance and foreign clothes
his clothes
Zaahir had several sets of clothes. They all did
but the ones he wore that day were distinctly Khoprisi in design
“do Melanteans go to the Isle?” she blurted, her mind racing
“what?”
Adonis’ voice reached her ears, but it sounded far away, as if she were hearing it through a thick wall
“Melanteans. What happens to their souls if they’re evil?”
she fought to maintain the spell, balancing her attention between it and Adonis’ response
“I don’t entirely recall. Melantean faith wasn’t my area of study”
uttering a curse under her breath, Thalia reigned in her intrusive thoughts, and recontained the spell that had begun to slip under her absence of concentration
without Adonis’ confirmation, she’d be taking an immense risk
but what else was she supposed to do?
resigning herself to the possibility of failure, Thalia cast the spell, refining her search to Khoprisi made clothes
her field of awareness expanded, passing over soul after soul
it grew wider and wider, with no hint of pause or recognition
and just as she was beginning to give up hope, the spell locked onto an object, and Thalia’s heart rose into her throat
not 300 metres away, right on the edge of her vision, was a layered cloth robe, cut from dyed Khoprisi linen
Thalia’s eyes shot open, and she turned to Adonis with a wide smile
“you found him?” Adonis asked, his eyes brightening with hope
“I found someone. I can’t make promises, but…”
in spite of her efforts to curb her enthusiasm, Thalia practically radiated a sense of renewed hope
his own reserved smile widening to a grin, Adonis gestured with his arm
“lead the way then”
giving an energetic nod, Thalia raised their cloth shelter and began to shuffle in the direction of the skirt, fighting every urge to not go running off into the rain spattered fields
it would be a rather pitiful end to wind up trapping themselves right before they found their friend
and so, forced to move at a crawling pace, Thalia led the way, projecting her thoughts out as if they might reach Zaahir somewhere within these Fields
hold on just a little bit longer. We’re on our way

Zaahir collapsed against the brick wall, gasping for air in between bouts of dry retching
his vision swam before his eyes, his heart pounding so hard in his chest he feared it would give out
not that it would matter
were he to die, he’d merely wind up right where he started, and be forced to relive this all over again
fighting to regain his breath and recompose himself, Zaahir closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the cool brick wall
but where his brow should have touched hard brick, he instead felt the smooth texture of polished cedar wood
opening his eyes, he let out a long, exasperated groan; recognising an all too familiar door
even without this bizarre realm of scripted encounters and indefinite loops, he would have recognised Alekos’ storefront in a heartbeat
yet again, in spite of his best efforts, the world had reshaped itself to fit a certain narrative
a narrative where, after evading the local guards, he wound up at Alekos’ door, seeking to trade away his stolen goods
Zaahir contemplated walking away, as little as that would achieve, but the changing winds and the rising scent of sand and oils quickly dissuaded him
before he could change his mind, the Khoprisi mage flung the door open and darted inside, slamming it shut behind him
the winds died in an instant, and Zaahir was left to stew in the brief serenity of silence for a few grateful seconds
but only a few
for that silence was quickly broken by a voice that had begun to grate on him like no other
“Syphaeus? Archons above, is that you?”
rolling his eyes to the heavens, Zaahir turned to face the diminutive figure of Alekos, glaring down at him with an expression of pure contempt
“oh but it is!” the halfling cried, outstretching his arms to embrace the gold encrusted genasi
Zaahir brushed him off, keeping the deceitful shopkeeper at an arm’s length
Alekos retreated a step or two, raising his hands in apology. “Not a hugger, got it”
slipping into a smile as easily as one might slip into a pair of new sandals, Alekos recovered swiftly. “So, what brings you out this way? What can I do for you?”
knowing that the conversation would go by quicker if he complied, Zaahir slung the amulet off his neck and tossed it into the halfling’s hands
Alekos caught the amulet, and after a moment of inspection, his eyes widened in surprise
“where in Chaon did you get this?”
Zaahir didn’t answer, instead taking the opportunity to browse the wares around him
an enchanted spear, a pair of gnarled wands, a set of bracers
he wondered what poor souls had to die in order for these items to appear on display
behind him, Alekos continued the conversation, responding as if Zaahir had answered him
“I see. No need to worry. I’m no stranger to the odd spot of mischief. Don’t ask questions you don’t want answered, I always say. I take it you won’t be wanting receipts for this then”
he placed the amulet on the counter, then turned back to face Zaahir, watching the genasi with a gaze that felt almost predatory
a flash of light on the mage’s hand caught the halfling’s eye, and his expression lit up as he noticed it
“my, my. Well isn’t that a pretty thing on your finger”
Zaahir unconsciously glanced down at his hand, spying the cold metal ring adorning his middle fingertip
a band of polished silver, the ring was capped with an unknown symbol. Perhaps the signet of some noble family or another
pretty, but in the way that a viper was pretty
and Zaahir knew all too well the danger that lurked beneath its unassuming exterior
“enchanted no doubt. What sort of magic does it hold?”
once again, Zaahir said nothing, but Alekos flinched as if he’d been struck
“of course not, no,” the halfling said with a chuckle, that easy smile slipping back onto his lips. “Besides, I wouldn’t have the money if I did. As it stands, I doubt I even have the gold for this amulet. How much are you looking for?”
Alekos paused, nodding in response to some unspoken phrase
“well that’s awfully vague. Ships to Thessylae are cheap this time of year. You could buy yourself passage and a couple month’s lodging. Start a new life”
Zaahir had stopped listening by now, returning to browsing the store’s various wares
Alekos’ voice faded into the background, and Zaahir entertained himself by inspecting the goods on display
he was inspecting a spool of golden thread when a soft whisper brushed past his ear
quiet and practically incomprehensible, he might’ve mistaken it for wind
but then it came again; louder, and clearer
Zaahir
the genasi turned on the spot, scanning the room with wide eyes
but it was just as he had left it
Alekos continued to speak, acting as if nothing had happened
“I tracked them to a cave a couple days from here, just off the eastern road. I was about to commission the Guild, but now…”
Zaahir. Can you hear us?
the whisper came again. Undeniable this time
ignoring Alekos’ words, Zaahir honed in on the whisper, spinning in place as he searched for its source
we’re here. We’re finally here. Please, Zaahir
the voice was soft and feminine, and more than anything, incredibly familiar
he tried to remember. Tried to put a face to the voice. A name even
but just like everything else, it was like recalling a dream
wake up. We came all this way...please, Zaahir...just wake up
they sounded pleading. Desperate
in spite of the fog surrounding his mind, his heart began to ache for this woman
he was hurting her. He didn’t know how or why, but he was hurting her
Alekos had fallen silent now, and as Zaahir continued searching for that voice, he began to hear something else
something completely foreign to this world he’d found himself within
rain
the warmth of the shop drained away, and a cold chill swept in to take its place
his clothes, once dry, now clung to his body like rags, soaked through with water
the store seemed to fall apart around him; breaking away into tiny fragmented pieces
a different voice came now. Older and deeper
booming from above like a terrible god
ZAAHIR. WAKE UP!
and with a heaving gasp for air, Zaahir was dragged screaming out of his crumbling world
rain pelted down around him like a storm, falling to the earth with droplets as thick as oil
the ground beneath him was made of a dead, black soil that resembled charcoal more than dirt, stretching out as far as he could see
he became aware of a presence above him, right before he felt a pair of crushing arms tighten around his ribs and squeeze the life from him
the air fled his lungs so violently that his vision began to cloud and darken
right before he thought he’d pass out, the arms abruptly let go, allowing him to breathe once more
when his sight finally recovered, he began to make out a face in front of him
pale and grey eyed, the figure appeared almost corpse-like in complexion. But beneath the ghastly visage, Zaahir recognised the familiar face of Thalia staring back at him, tears streaming down her cheeks in spite of the beaming smile across her face
he hardly had a moment to comprehend what he was looking at when Thalia pulled him into a second, even tighter hug
this time, he felt for sure that his ribs would crack beneath the pressure, and when he was finally released, he was light headed and woozy
“not too hard,” a voice warned, “you don’t want to kill him, do you?”
Zaahir groggily turned to follow the voice, and found himself staring up at the towering, horned figure of Adonis, beaming down at him with a wide grin
“wouldn’t want to have to go through this all the trouble finding him again, now would we?”
Adonis extended a hand, and lost in a state of foggy confusion, Zaahir blankly stared at it for a few seconds before thinking to take it
with a great, heaving motion, Adonis hoisted the genasi to his feet, and pulled him into a crushing, one armed embrace
“it’s good to have you back”
a smile spread across Zaahir’s lips, but it was a tired, thin lipped attempt
his legs felt unsteady beneath him, as if they might collapse at any moment
in fact, had it not been for Adonis holding him up, he feared he might do just that
feeling the limpness in his friend’s body, Adonis slung an arm beneath Zaahir’s own, bearing the young man’s weight onto his shoulders
“easy now, I’ve got you”
the paladin turned his head to look at Thalia, meeting her concerned gaze with a stern expression
“start leading the way out of here. We need to get him out of the rain”
with a task to distract her from Zaahir’s poor condition, Thalia set to leading them out, choosing a direction and marching away in a slow, shuffling gait
Adonis followed closely behind, holding Zaahir close so as to keep him beneath the protection of his shield
the genasi slumped against his arm, unable to bear his own weight, mind still reeling from the effects of the spell
Adonis stared down at his younger companion, curbing his relief with a heavy dose of concern
he hid it behind a smile, taking one tentative step, and then another
“come on, then. It’s high time we got you out of this place”

First Post: https://www.reddit.com/CradledDnDStories/comments/x8zwpv/athos_1_a_new_world_of_opportunity/
Last Post: https://www.reddit.com/CradledDnDStories/comments/13duv0v/athos_21_broken_bones_and_fractured_hearts/
Next Post:

First of all I am a male in my 20s and until last year I had never had a single PVC or Pac in my life. I hadnt even paid any attention to my heart at all. It was like I was living 20+ years without knowing it was beating. Peacefully.
Last year I got my first covid vaccine of pfizer. I had the regular sore arm at first but later that night and for few days after that I had a high fever and felt terrible. The fever went down but something felt off about my heart ever since. I just felt this weird anxiety and didnt know why I was so restless. When I went to sleep on my stomach, I could feel and hear every heart beat like never before. I couldnt sleep for weeks.
This continued for months, along with weird chest pains and stomach pains and I started getting these weird heart hiccups that sent a shock around by throat and body. I had no idea what they were but later after holter monitor they turned out to be a mix of pacs and pvcs. I also got few episodes that were captured on an ecg with the explanation of SVT AND inappropriate sinus tachycardia.
Suffering with these for a while, my lab results consistently showed low potassium. (around 3.0-3.4) I was eventually prescribed a potassium supplement. I felt better for a while but then contracted covid and the symptoms came back again. I had to raise the supplement to 4g a day. My potassium stayed at 3.0 for 5 months despite thesupplement.
Fast forward to today and after every possible disease has been ruled out I have just one theory. There is something in the vaccine and covid that causes my immune system to go crazy as a response. That strain caused me to lose a lot of potassium which led to low potassium, PVCs, muscle cramps and twitching etc.

I have read the mod description multiple times now but I just wanted to make sure.
The mod description says it takes around 30s to swap characters but as I am making this post I have been waiting for 30min to swap to my previous character. I had no issues creating a new character but even that took several minutes.
Also, it seems Proteus starts lagging after i've used a player module feature. Now even when I want to select the player module from the wheel it takes a few minutes to show me the menu.
Has anyone else experienced this issue? According to my google search there are very few problems with proteus and those mainly center around player appearence. Regardless I figured I should try my luck here.
Edit: Here's my modlist as demanded by the rules:
Bashed Patch 3 Legacy of the Dragonborn Patches (Official) kryptopyr's Automated Patches Hearthfires Extended and Creation Club Fishing Patch Landscape Fixes For Grass Mods - Alternate strat patch Ordinator Beyond Skyrim Patch UVCPC - Umgak's Vokrii Compatibility Patch Compendium Summermyst - WACCF Patch Project AHO - Skytest Patch (Fix Invisible Mudcrabs) - ESPFE Unofficial Moonpath to Elsweyr Patch eFPS - Official Patch Hub Deadly Dragons SE Patches Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - Update and MCM Odin - Ordinator Compatibility Patch Mysticism 2 - Vokrii Compatibility Patch Odin - Vokrii Compatibility Patch Apothecary - Saints and Seducers Patch Apothecary - Wyrmstooth Patch Apothecary - Rare Curios Patch Apothecary - Food and Drink Addon - USSEP Patch Apothecary - Food and Drink Addon - Survival Mode Patch Apothecary - Fishing Patch Apothecary - Bruma Patch identity crisis - Beyond Skyrim - Bruma Patch Helgen Reborn Patch - landscape fixes for grass mods Immersive Citizens Patch - landscape fixes for grass mods Immersive Wenches -KS hairs- Patch_SE (KS hairs 1.61f) Immersive Wenches -Immersive Citizens - AI Overhaul- Patch Legacy of the Dragonborn - Creation Club Patch Hub Summermyst X Immersive Jewelry Beyond Skyrim - DLC Integration Patch 1.6.2 Armor and Clothing Extension - Spell Perk Item Distributor (SPID) Patch Skyrim Reputation - Sacrosanct Patch Skyrim Reputation - Growl Patch
PROTEUS Souls Do Things 2 Simply Order Summons Unequip Quiver SE Remote Interactions YASTM - Yet Another Soul Trap Manager Purchaseable Store-Display-Items Nether's Follower Framework Crosshair-aligned Crossbow AH Hotkeys - Skyrim Hotkey Manager SSE Talkative Dragons Stones of Barenziah Quest Markers Remember Lockpick Angle - Updated Rich Skyrim Merchants Loading Screens With Extra Sarcasm SE - ESL Flagged Lore-Based Loading Screens Formation with Followers Realistic Torch Light NPC's Run and Walk at Your Pace Extended Carryweight Dead NPC Body Cleaner Remover
RAID Weathers Lux Orbis Lux Lux Via
Folkvangr - Grass and Landscape Overhaul The Wheels of Lull Retexture SE Footprints Immersive Armors Retexture and Mesh Fixes SE RUSTIC CLOTHING - Special Edition SkySight Skins - Ultra HD Male Textures and Real Feet Meshes (4K2K HIGH) Skyrim Textures Redone Enhanced Night Sky The Eyes of Beauty - Vampire Eyes SE The Eyes Of Beauty SSE Blended Roads Enhanced Blood Textures Better Dynamic Snow SE Realistic Water Two SE Tempered Skins for Females Salt and Wind - Rough Hair for KS Hairdos SE Dirt and Blood - Dynamic Visual Effects Eye Normal Map Fix SSE Superior Lore-Friendly Hair - HD textures Vanilla Body with UNP Textures Moonpath To Elsweyr Retexture SE Sensible Bribes - Based on Speechcraft Not Level Soaking Wet - Character Wetness Effect Face Discoloration Fix Nordic Snow RUSTIC SOULGEMS - Special Edition Cleaned Skyrim SE Textures - Performance Optimized
Skyrim Extended Cut - Saints and Seducers Legacy of the Dragonborn Moonpath to Elsweyr SSE Carved Brink Identity Crisis Helgen Reborn The Gray Cowl of Nocturnal SE Project AHO The Wheels of Lull SE Wyrmstooth Beyond Skyrim - Bruma SE Beyond Skyrim - Assets Nilheim - Misc Quest Expansion The Only Cure - Quest Expansion College of Winterhold - Quest Expansion Paarthurnax - Quest Expansion House of Horrors - Quest Expansion The Whispering Door - Quest Expansion The Innocence Lost - Quest Expansion
Armor Variants Expansion Proper Crossbow Integration Royal Armory - New Artifacts Heavy Armory - New Weapons Immersive Weapons Immersive Armors Armor and Clothing Extension Guards Armor Replacer SSE Immersive Jewelry 1.06a Immersive Jewelry SSE
Taunt Your Enemies - Taunting Matters Immersive Speechcraft SE Arcanum - A New Age of Magic (Fixed) Ordinator - Combat Styles - ESL Path of Sorcery - Magic Perk Overhaul SPERG - Skyrim Perk Enhancements and Rebalanced Gameplay SSE Port Adamant - A Perk Overhaul Mysticism - A Magic Overhaul Vokrii - Minimalistic Perks of Skyrim Vokriinator - Choice Cuts Mannaz - Integrated Races of Skyrim VioLens - A Killmove Mod SE Valravn - Integrated Combat of Skyrim Chapter II - Jeremy Soule Inspired Music Take a Peek - New Stealth Mechanic Apothecary - Food and Drink Addon Apothecary - An Alchemy Overhaul Vitrium Hunterborn Sojourn Over Signposts - Witcher-Style Fast Travel Alternative Archery Gameplay Overhaul SE Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - RDO SE Last Seed Campfire and Frostfall - Unofficial SSE Update Complete Crafting Overhaul Remastered Summermyst - Enchantments of Skyrim Skyrim Reputation Improved Skyrim Reputation - Fixed and Patched Skyrim Reputation Growl - Werebeasts of Skyrim Ordinator - Perks of Skyrim Odin - Skyrim Magic Overhaul Sacrosanct - Vampires of Skyrim Arcanum - A New Age of Magic 4.0.1 Bugfix Arcanum - A New Age of Magic Andromeda - Unique Standing Stones of Skyrim Wintersun - Faiths of Skyrim Realistic AI Detection (RAID) Predator Vision - Night Eye and Thermal Vision Overhaul PapyrusUtil SE - Modders Scripting Utility Functions Frostfall - Hypothermia Camping Survival Wet and Cold SE Campfire - Complete Camping System (Supports Skyrim VR)
NPCs React To Invisibility Civil War Lines Expansion Carriages and Stables Dialogue Bundle Forsworn and Thalmor Lines Expansion Orc Addon for Vampire Lines Expansion Vampire Lines Expansion Guard Dialogue Overhaul SE Xelzaz - Custom Fully Voiced Argonian Telvanni Follower Immersive World Encounters SE Immersive Patrols SE AE Diverse Werewolves Collection SE Skyrim Skill Uncapper for SE and AE Deadly Dragons and Splendor Dragon Variants SE (PATCH) Splendor - Dragon Variants SE Diverse Dragons Collection SE (DDCse) Deadly Dragons Immersive Wenches SkyTEST Integration Project SE SkyTEST - Realistic Animals and Predators SE INIGO Immersive Citizens - AI Overhaul Sleeping Expanded - Animations and NPC reactions NPCs React To Necromancy (And More) Interesting NPCs SE (3DNPC) Interesting NPCs 3DNPC SE Alternative Locations - ESL Flag OBIS SE - Organized Bandits In Skyrim Special Edition DIVERSE SKYRIM SSE
Cage of Clavicus SE Skyrim Landscape and Water Fixes Skyrim Project Optimization SE eFPS - Exterior FPS boost Point The Way Lightened Skyrim Hearthfire Extended Artifacts - The Ice Blade of the Monarch [SSE] Artifacts - The Tournament of the Ten Bloods [SSE] Grass FPS Booster New Beginnings - Live Another Life Extension SSE Alternate Start - Live Another Life - SSE Gildergreen Regrown Landscape Fixes For Grass Mods eFPS - AnniversaryEditionFreeCC
Hvergelmir's Aesthetics - Beards KS Hairdos SSE Weapons Armor Clothing and Clutter Fixes Ruins Clutter Improved SE Flickering Meshes Fix Static Mesh Improvement Mod
Dual Casting Fix ConsolePlusPlus Unofficial Skyrim Modder's Patch - USMP SE Precision Creatures Precision Vanilla Script (micro)Optimizations Dynamic Collision Adjustment Scrambled Bugs Payload Interpreter Optimised Scripts for SPERG PAPER Customizable Camera moreHUD SE moreHUD Inventory Edition Immersive HUD - iHUD Special Edition Heels Fix Dynamic Animation Casting - NG Better Combat Escape - SSE Whose Quest Is It Anyway Scaleform Translation Plus Plus MCM Recorder Menu Maid 2 - MCM manager Recipe Auto-Learn To Your Face SE - AE - VR B.O.O.B.I.E.S (aka Immersive Icons) Keyword Item Distributor Inventory Interface Information Injector MergeMapper Armor Rating Rescaled SKSE Remake Constructible Object Custom Keyword System UIExtensions ConsoleUtilSSE Notification Filter - Remove unwanted notifications Compass Navigation Overhaul Infinity UI Run For Your Lives Favorite Things - Extended Favorites Menu for SkyUI SkyUI Weapons Pack SE Dynamic Animation Replacer More Informative Console Better Jumping SE iWant Widgets Immersive Sounds - Compendium A Quality World Map First Person Camera Height Fix Player Rotation in ShowRaceMenu RaceMenu Lazy Renamer No Spinning Death Animation SE Fuz Ro D-oh - Silent Voice Better MessageBox Controls Better Dialogue Controls Clean Menu Animation Motion Revolution MCM Helper Spell Perk Item Distributor SkyUI Item Card Fixes Fix Note icon for SkyUI (SKSE64 plugin) powerofthree's Papyrus Extender Wider MCM Menu for SkyUI SkyUI - Ghost Item Bug Fix SkyUI SE - Flashing Savegames Fix Complete Widescreen Fix for Vanilla and SkyUI 2.2 and 5.2 SE SkyUI JContainersGOG SSE Display Tweaks powerofthree's Tweaks Bug Fixes SSE SSE Engine Fixes (skse64 plugin) Skyrim Priority SE AE - skse plugin Address Library for SKSE Plugins Realistic Ragdolls and Force Nemesis Creature Behaivour - WereWolf Addon Nemesis Creatures BEHAVIOUR compatibility Project New Reign - Nemesis Unlimited Behavior Engine Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch
*Creation Club: ccBGSSSE025-AdvDSGS *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE037-Curios *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE001-Fish *Creation Club: ccQDRSSE001-SurvivalMode *DLC: Dawnguard *DLC: Dragonborn *DLC: HearthFires

Resume is 2 pages long. I also have NO CLUE how to make “customer service specialist” aka my job title seem more professional/ more qualified/not basic. My experience is kind of all over the place. I am aware that I need to switch the order in which I became a sales rep then a supervisor. It was late when I made this resume. Thanks a bunch!

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The common consensus on what a curse even is can be ambiguous, so many cultures and ideas reframe and retool to fit the central tenets of their thematic cores. One thing is common amongst all interpretations however, their aim is to cause harm. One might wonder at what point is a curse conceived, not just the rituals and requirements that are needed to conjure a curse. No, what is it that makes up a curse, what feeds it? Some might answer hate or jealousy, and while those might be true for some. For me, the curse I bore and the curses I will bear are made up of one thing. Resentment.
I first noticed its infection one morning while getting dressed for classes. Running my fingers along the slight depression brought out goosebumps. It was slightly tender and if I pressed on it hard it elicited a painful pinch that caused my insides to tangle in panic. Withdrawing my fingers to inspect them I noted a slickness I couldn’t account for. A slight black tint colored my fingertips and I quickly rinsed them under hot water but it did little to wash away the wave of anxiety that had come over me. I tried to push it aside, I had classes, term papers, and tests to worry about. I held out until the middle of my 3rd class, by then all I could think about was the series of horrible and fatal medical implications of the indentation. I ran all the way home, body wracked with shivers, and slammed myself inside my dorm bathroom, stripped off my shirt, and took a good look at it. It had gotten deeper, at least 2 centimeters into my chest now. It was where my sternum was, dead center between my two pectoral muscles. I pushed my finger in and it actually gave some, causing a shudder of agony to blossom and ride through every nerve in my body. I spent the rest of the day researching what I could, some stuff about dietary insufficiencies causing swelling and easily depressed skin, but this was different. The anxiety attacks started then and continued for the next few hours. My roommate walked in during the midst of one and saw my huddled form, trying to breathe. I heard the audible click of his tongue and he left.
3 am neared and I still hadn’t escaped that sinking feeling, the one that feels like an endless plunge towards death, and all the while your lungs struggle to pull enough air to fuel a scream. Drowning in plain sight. I looked desperately through Jake’s things and found a bottle of Benadryl. I washed a couple of them down and waited until my eyelids grew heavy. I was barely able to crawl into bed before I fell into a deep slumber. The dreams it brought were bizarre and vivid. I was wandering through a landscape of abandoned suburbs, going from door to door, looking for one that was the right color. It was late into the night when I finally found it, a dim street lamp casting down an amber spotlight in front of a dilapidated two-story with a red door.
The door opened as I walked up to it, revealing a barren living room lit by a corner lamp that flickered every few seconds. At its center was a cobblestone well, ancient and unnerving. I recognized it. I had seen it countless times. On my worst days, I had dreamt of standing before it, yearning for hope or absolution. I had been silent instead, letting all I could not say seep into it. This inverted well, one that fed on despair instead of dreams, was now vibrating, shifting. Something was rising from its depths to greet me and I was ready for it, yearned for it. Black fluid erupted from its opening, spraying the ceiling and walls and splattering across my face.
Somewhere, a scream was reaching a fever pitch. I looked down and saw that my chest had split open and the black fluid was streaming down in a cascade of pitch. An eye blossomed from the depths of that gaping ravine in my chest. It stared, focused, and recognition flooded into the empty white. From the hole in my chest, something was rising - a realization. The screaming… it had been me the whole time.
I jolted awake, the pain in my chest the first thing to greet me. I heaved to suck in a breath and my senses came alive. Next was the sweat-slick coat that had pooled around me and I turned over to flip on a lamp. Light flooded my vision, but still, I was surrounded by darkness. No, not darkness, but stains. Black ink had seemingly spurted from my chest and splattered my bedding and floor. I ran my finger through it, all along my sternum, but I could not find the indentation, nor a source for the fluid.
I got up in a panic, looking around the room. I was alone, my roommate never having returned, but there was a trail of black ooze. I followed the most prominent streak to a corner. There was a lump there, a polished shiny black orb where the oily ooze seemingly seeped from. My heart thundered as I approached it, I swore I thought I saw it twitch. I was in the middle of my hands and knees crawling towards it when it jerked, moved, and stood.
I fell back on my ass letting out a half yelp, frozen as my gaze locked with it. It was the size of a rabbit, its tar-black skin reflective and polished. It had these beady eyes that were somehow darker than the rest of its body, and it waddled forward on stubby legs no longer than two inches. It had arms too, stubs too, and they reached for me. I was scooting away from its path when it spoke in a pained and squeaky voice as if its anatomy was ill-fitted for human speech, even its grasp of human words was feeble.
“No harm. I’m an ally.”
“What?” I couldn’t help but respond.
“You fed me, so now I repay you?”
“How? In what way? What are you?”
It blinked as if contemplating how to answer my barrage of questions. It didn’t have a mouth, but it spoke regardless. There was distance to its voice, so I was certain that it didn’t speak directly to my mind, but then again I didn’t even think that was possible until now.
“I am grown, don’t know from where, or why. I think I could be a tool or weapon. I eat bad feelings, but I was left with no one around to feed me. Then you came and fed me, for a long time. Now I’m finally strong enough to repay.”
“Repay me how?”
“I have fed on the dark of your heart. I know what it desires, I can take the shape of a curse,” it said
“You’re going to curse me? As repayment?”
“No, that’s not what was in your hearts. Yes, you hated yourself, but you hate others more. I can be the curse you cast on them.”
Something clicked in place and made its way closer to my mind, but didn’t bridge the distance entirely. It spoke, knew that I’d ask it how.
“Pick the kind of curse. I can be misfortune, blindness, madness… even death, a killing curse,” it said.
I reached towards it, even as its body distorted and elongated and reshaped into a foot-long, skinny, jagged oily centipede. I froze but it skittered forward, crawled across the back of my hand, and wrapped around my wrist. It tickled my skin, slick but warm. Almost uncomfortably so.
“Pick the kind of curse you want me to be, and feed me to whom you want to inflict. It’s easy, but curses burn up in daylight if not attached. You’ll have a few hours past dawn before I turn to ash.”
It fell silent afterward as if slumbering, but I couldn’t sleep. I sat in the corner thinking, watching the black stains left by the living curse dry up and evaporate into nothing. I had to look periodically at the oily centipede wrapped around my wrist to remind myself that I wasn’t dreaming, but all it did was convince me that I had careened off the precipice of sanity into some functional hysteria. I sat there until the sun rose, and like a clockwork mechanism, I got dressed and went to class. I was on autopilot, more depersonalized than I had ever felt before I watched myself go through the motions of my life. It should have been a cry for help, you could see it spelled out clearly as day and no one could have missed it. But they did - or rather, they chose to ignore it, because that was what you were supposed to do with people like me. Dull rage set in and it was what I stewed in as the hours ticked by, a building fury that could have blown but only boiled over and settled into dejected acceptance. I was ready to leave it at that, to let myself fade into a shadow like I had my entire life. To give up and crawl away to some recess, never to be found. But the searing pain of dozens of clawed insect legs digging into my flesh brought back presence of mind “Now. Now! Now! NOW!” a voice chirped. I ran into a storage closet, barred the door, and pulled back the sleeve that hid the living curse.
“What is it, are you about to die?”
“Not die, return. Back to the labyrinth. Pick a curse now, feed me to your enemy, before I disappear and all you’ll be left with is ash.”
“And if I haven’t picked anyone? If I don’t want to hurt anyone?”
“Then let me burn in the light, let me go, never visit my well, never feed me again. Move forward from your life, move away from me, and you’ll be free of me”
It could be that easy to rid myself of this wretched thing. I thought about my day, my life, and the people closest to me. I couldn’t let go, not when they had all walked by ashamed or indifferent, or worst of all, fearful. I had done nothing and they feared me.
“I won’t let it go, I can’t. I don’t know what I’ll do, but I can’t move on from this. I can’t give you up, but I can’t choose someone to suffer you.”
“Then eat me.”
I looked at the wriggling centipede confused, black fluid dripping from its body.
“If you eat me, you inflict the curse upon yourself. Not at full potency, but I’ll live until you’re ready to choose. If you hate enough, if you have the resolve, you can cast a shadow of my curse on all who meet your gaze, but you must hurry, my time… fades.”
“I don’t know what to pick. I don’t want to suffer.”
“Then pick the curse that causes the least pain.”
“Which is? I don’t know, pick for me!”
“I am delirium, now eat me, before it’s too late.”
I didn’t notice any change in the curse, except for the small cracks appearing in its carapace and the fraying of its antenna. I hesitated until a large crack formed across its back; at that moment, I hoisted it up and opened my mouth wide, closing my eyes as I lowered it. It did the rest of the work, jerking free of my grip and slithering down my throat with brute force, trailing that oily substance, I gagged, screamed, tears ran and I choked. But once it was down and settled I was alone in that room, nothing different.
Until I stepped out, and it began. A blurring of the world, where every sound was too sharp and grating, every color too vibrant. My head was swelling with immense pressure as it was filled with hundreds of trivial conversations, all spewing from the mouths of every student and professor in this wing. I couldn’t handle it, so I ran, flinging the doors open to the outside.
Except outside wasn’t outside, no, the doors opened up to a hallway I had been trying to forget all my life, framed with pictures of me and my family. I turned, hoping I could reach the living room so I could leave through the front door but what faced me was another room, one I had forgotten about until now. A barred door, walls burned black, stained with soot and char. A sound jolted me back around, the sound of a belt being unbuckled and fabric hitting the floor. Panic rose within me and I felt like I was in free fall, plummeting from astral orbit, through the earth's crust, and straight into the pits of hell. Except I wasn’t. No, I was in my middle school nurse's office. The scent of floor polish and cheap perfume tickled my nose.
“If it hurts you can stop it anytime, you know? Just change your habits, it’s not that hard,”
Ms. Rena, my middle school nurse, was talking to me. I stared into her eyes, and the world quieted and came into focus. They were green, as beautiful as emeralds. I couldn’t help but stare at them every chance I got. They brought forth feelings within me I had never felt before, an awakening. I blinked and they were burning now, bright green flames that sloughed the flesh from her face and I turned away and screamed. The scream pitched, bent, and distorted into a siren, ascending and descending endlessly. I don’t know how long I was caught in its loop but I couldn’t cling onto a single coherent thought longer than a second, as if my mind had been partitioned half a dozen times and all were battling for the sphere of influence that was my perception.
Then clarity, or an illusion of such. In reality, it was only a fleeting break from the delirium, long enough for me to gather my faculties so that the second dive into madness would hurt just that much more. But time was relative here, stretching out longer than it had any right to. The curse was there, in the hallway of my dorm, no longer a centipede but a tall humanoid thing, seemingly made of old motor oil.
“What’s happening? What did you do to me?!” I pleaded.
“You are suffering the curse of delirium. You chose this, remember?” it said, its voice no longer airy and whistling, like a bird’s. Its speech was no longer jilted and tenuous. Now when it spoke, its voice was deep and full of power.
“You said it would be weaker, subdued.”
“This is subdued, I’m a powerful curse after all.”
“What are you? Where do you come from, I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know, I’m searching for the answer myself. I was malnourished for so long that my mind splintered, I suffered my own madness, and I just know bits and pieces now. I know that in the city of Cradle, the word they call me means ‘Demon Seed’. That’s all I know of my identity.”
“I-I didn’t want this,”
“You’ll grow accustomed to it, with time. Not fully, if you could ignore the delirium it wouldn’t be much of a curse. If it’s too much for you to handle, if the pain is unbearable, you can always make it go away.”
“How?”
“Expel me from your body, feed me to someone else, or let the sun take me.”
I exhaled long and slow, and felt the prickling at the corner of my mind. The madness was near, but all I could feel was anger. At the curse, at myself, at the world. I turned away and faced a world of static and incomprehensible whispers, deafening and all-consuming. I collapsed into myself, held my hands to my ears, and balled into the fetal position. It did little to shut out all that was happening, but it did dull it for a moment until a quiet, throaty keening cut through and pierced my mind directly. I imagined a small undying animal having an army knife stab them at consistent intervals, the pace changing periodically so it could never get used to the pain. And then the violence was reflected onto me except there was no perpetrator. An invisible force sliced into the flesh of my sides, my back, until I was ridden with countless wounds. The pain spurred me to crawl forward on all fours, hoping to escape it but it was endless. I was bleeding so much, black blood, my blood was black. I laughed, then cried, and then crawled forward as the stabbings continued, except now the pain had dulled into an ache that still caused my breath to hitch.
I crawled for what seemed like hours, never getting used to the barrage of thoughts, images, and sounds, all the while the stabbing refused to stop. Even after my body had been shredded to ribbons and I had been bled of all its blood it continued, lazily now, as if the invisible force had grown tired but not enough to cease. Then I hit a wall, flesh, thin, like an amniotic sac, and on impulse I pushed through into it, harder and harder until it started to rip. Somewhere someone was breathing heavily, no more than one, with a rising rhythm and intensity, like a panic attack reaching its peak. I struggled forward, trying to break the damn thing, but it would not give. I was exhausted and so collapsed into it as if sleeping, but time passed and sleep did not come. But the end of the breathing did, once it reached a fever pitch. I shifted, realizing the stabbing had stopped, trying to move but then of all times the amniotic sac burst and I fell into whatever lay beyond it.
I was in my dorm room, a break in the madness. I was free for a moment, act, I had to act. Dawn was starting to peek through the window blinds. I stood up and froze, seeing what the rays of light were cast onto. My roommate Jake lay in his bed, naked. A woman just as naked was wrapped around him, body slick with sweat, its scent perfuming the room. He had seen me suffering, in the midst of a panic attack, left me to cope with it alone, and when I hadn’t returned he took the chance not to look for me or tell anyone, instead using it for his own benefit. Anger coursed through my veins, a fresh injection of hate kicking me into action. I opened my mouth and with my pointer finger and thumb reached in, the curse met me halfway and slid into position. I gripped it and pulled it, hand over hand now as a seemingly endless centipede being expelled from my stomach. I looked at the black segmented body, it writhed and moved in such a way that it reminded me a bit of an umbilical cord, and in a way, it was. A curse was being birthed, having grown stronger after I had housed and fed it with my own being. It was time to cut the cord then, I walked over to the pair as I pulled the last of the length free.
The curse popped out like a cork, sending a spray of black fluid across the couple. Droplets of varying sizes landed and stained the woman’s breasts, most of it pooling in between them at her sternum. I stifled a laugh as that’s where I had first gestated this curse. I looked at Jake, the black spray had stained his face, beard, and clavicle, and a particularly large globule resting upon his lower lip. I shifted my gaze to the wriggling centipede before me. It was at least four feet long now and twice its original width.
I shuddered, clarity flooded over me, and at that moment I realized that sometimes clarity was just perspective. I thought I knew suffering, thought I knew what it meant to shuffle through every day dreading that the next day would be more of the same. But the inescapable madness brought a new understanding to me. I could have changed. At any point in time, I could have ended my ostracization. Sure, it was socially imposed, but it was not an incurable delirium. Follow the rules, conform, and you’ll be mostly fine, you can make the hurt stop anytime you want. So why didn’t I, why can’t I now at this very moment? I knew now that it was because it would be a rejection of self, the world goes on and on about how you should be yourself. That in itself was a virtue lauded and held up as one of the most important facets of existence. But now I know what they really meant was “Operate within the constantly shifting parameters of acceptability - fail to adhere, evolve or predict, and you are a threat.” The true self that others reveled in evaded people like me, instead we had to construct a facade we passed off as real in order to thrive.
But so many didn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t. How could they? It was all they knew, how could you discard that which defined them, the filter of their reality? I know what I am now, a worm that slinked through grime and lived in darkness, and when others took me and held me to the light, saying, “See, this is how you should be, and why you should be, it’s for the better of everyone,” it didn’t bring me to enlightenment, but to resentment and hate. I knew what I could do to make them see more than just a freak, a threat, but unconsciously I never took the steps because I knew only what it was to exist within the margins, in a periphery. An exile imposed by all, including myself.
I held the curse higher, feeling grateful that I had survived it, suffered it, and was blessed by its clarity. Light streamed in now as the sun crossed the horizon into a bright morning. The curse was still, despite the lethal light upon it. Let it go and move on, or revel in it? I looked back down at the pair, at Jake. He was an acceptable version of me, softly rebellious. Had thoughts, beliefs, mannerisms, and behaviors that neared the boundaries but never crossed them. Scruffy-faced, soft-eyed, short hair spikey and messy but never disheveled, charming in an irreverent way, unassuming cock but he fucked like a jackhammer obviously. An outsider that wasn’t really an outsider, he never was the great other that haunted dreams and fueled paranoia. I held the curse out in front of them and spoke to it.
“Your choice, Demon Seed. Wither in the sun, or choose one to torment. I don’t care which.”
It was still for a moment before diving into Jake's mouth. Silently, effortlessly, it slipped inside him and was gone. I walked out of the room, legs wobbling a bit, I was riding a high I had never felt before.
Jake was dead by the end of the month, he had been institutionalized until he wasn’t and then he stumbled onto train tracks. Rest is history, no body left to bury. His girlfriend, lover, or whatever the fuck was the one to break the news to me. Thought because I was his roommate I cared or at least should care. It was a few weeks later when I felt that sting and oil-slick fluid in my sternum, Demon Seed, the curse had enjoyed itself.
Twice more I’ve birthed a curse, let it choose its victim, let Demon Seed choose its form. He is the shaky finger of tragedy that strikes without cause or rhyme, deliriously pointed at someone, anyone. And I am the great well of resentment that feeds him. We are the what world needs, a calamity, the great other, something to fear, something to hate. And with each glare and impassioned condemnation, the curse grows stronger within me.
TW

It's been over a year since the original 100 Great Albums post. Since December 2021, I've listened to 375 Rock albums in total (just for fun, I'm getting paid for this!). Looking back at the original albums, I noticed I have a few with only 1 or 2 listens, whereas now I always try to aim for 3 at the minimum. So as this is a good midpoint (as I plan on stopping at the 20th post), I decided to revisit these certified classic albums and maybe upgrade/downgrade the ratings after more listens. I'll continue to edit grades on other posts if my opinion changes on them later on, but the 100 list got so popular that I feel like it should be left unedited.
Here's the format: Album (year) original grade [orig. Listens] // NEW GRADE {additional listens}

1. Bob Dylan - Freewheelin' Bob Dylan (1963) B+ [2 listens] // A- {1 listen} More time to digest his lyrics only makes it better. Hard Rain, Blowin in the Wind and Masters of War are still the best here. He had the wisdom and poise of a 70+ year old man, as a 22 year old...
   
2. Bob Dylan - Bring It On Home (1965) A- [3 listens] // A+ {2 listens} I can't overemphasize how great side two is of this album is. The songs aren't as musical as side one, so the lyrics are center stage and Bob Dylan ALWAYS captivates your attention. The electric guitar side is even better than I originally thought, but man does the second side has some of his best songwriting.
   
3. The Beatles - Help! (1965) B+ [3 listens] // A- {1 listen} This is the album where I think they started making legit "respectable" music. The early Pop music they made before is nice, but it's not that fulfilling. The variety made this age very well: Hide Your Love Away, Ticket to Ride, Seen a Face, Dizzy Miss Lizzy, Help!, Yesterday. It doesn't help that every album that followed it is considered one of the greatest albums of all time, but at this point, it was head and shoulders their best.
   
4. Beatles - Rubber Soul (1965) A++ [5 listens] // A+ {4 listens} Highway 61 Revisited gets the credit as being the album to kick off the Rock renaissance of the 60s, but imo, the "album arms race" started with this one. Without it, the musical landscape isn't the same as the concept of an entire album of worthy material wouldn't have been as widely adopted. With the praise out of the way... it's pretty one note. A great Folk Rock album, but as it's often compared to other albums (cough Pet Sounds), it doesn't hold a candle to them.
   
5. The Beatles - Magical Mystery Tour (1967) B+ [3 listens] // A {3 listens} This is fun, bro. No it's not a legendary album, hell, it's not really a fully formed one as it's really a soundtrack compilation album. But looking at all the songs, they're just fun. Even a half assed Beatles album is still incredible (no I haven't listened to Yellow Submarine, why do you ask?).
   
6. The Doors - Self-Titled (1967) A- [2 listens] // A++ {3 listens} Wow, this is why multiple listens are super important. Many of the songs I thought were "so so" are so much better compared to other Blues Rock I've heard so far. Ray Manzarek is a god on the keys and Jim Morrison is pretty magnificent on every song. It still feels dated, as it's not super complex in it's song structure (like in LA Woman), but every song is great. JUST short of a masterpiece.
   
7. The Who - Tommy (1969) B [1 listen] // D++ {1 listen} I was being generous on the original post, I really didn't like this album. After one more listen, I really hate it. The story is complete nonsense and the music really doesn't make up for it. But that's not why I hate it so much; it's the length. If you're gonna be a late 60's mess, be your flamboyant mess and get in & get out. But it's an overly long, drawn out, bore of an album. It's mind boggling that anyone would prefer this over Quadrophena. Pinball Wizard is a great song tho, but don't tell anyone I said that.
   
8. King Crimson - In The Court of the Crimson King (1969) A- [1 listen] // A {1 listen} listening to Moody Blues' Days of Future Passed made this album a better listen. That jazz prog rock, with a laid back feel instead of completely psychedelic. The rest of the album (outside the intro) was a better listen this time around with better context, as I remember being bored with much of it. Now that I'm familiar with early Prog Rock, this doesn't feel as foreign anymore.
   
9. The Beatles - Let It Be (1970) B+ [3 listens] // A {3 listens} yea, I'm a Beatles stan. Yea, it's probably the weakest Studio Era album. Yea, I enjoy the atmosphere of this album more than the music itself; as a last who-rah of a crumbling friendship that can only be held together by creating music, as that is where the only fun is still found amongst these guys. Do I like to pretend that Don't Let Me Down is apart of this album, so I can grade it higher? Also, yea.
   
10. David Bowie - Hunky Dory (1971) A+ [2 listens] // A {2 listens} this is Art Rock. Not being a glam/hard rock fusion makes it less heavy than its successor. It also suffers for not having multiple strong anthems to hold the entire thing. Changes, Life on Mars, Andy Warhol, Queen Bitch are all great songs, but I doubt any are in Bowie's top 5. The other songs don't hold up as much I remembered.
    
11. Carole King - Tapestry (1971) A- [2 listens] // A {2 listens} Joni Mitchell's Blue was the driving force this time around. That personal folk storytelling, with that lively piano yet cozy, warm atmosphere. With more listens, I don't really love the lyrical composition as I just love the tone of the thing. I can sit next to a warm fire (or on a window sill) and turn this on and relax. I understand what the genre of Soft Rock is going for now.
    
12. David Bowie - the Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1972) A+ [2 listens] // Masterpiece {3 listens} Probably didn't give this one too much thought when grading it, as I think I just fell in love with a few songs on it and forgot about the rest. Listening to this front to back... it's flawless. I tried to find a song that wasn't good or that was kinda boring, but they're all perfect. I've listened to Ziggy Stardust and Starman COUNTLESS times in the past year, and will randomly get guitar riffs from random songs off this album to pop in my head. Of his 4 albums I've listened to, I still think Low is his best, as the atmosphere of that Side B is unmatched. But this album is what I'd consider objectively perfect, as every song is great. Easy masterpiece, and a great example of why sitting with an album is just as important as giving it a bunch of listens.
    
13. Queen - A Night at the Opera (1975) A- [2 listen] // A {2 listens} Fun stuff. I enjoyed the multiple vocalists being apart of it instead of only Mercury, made it feel like a "stage play" with a revolving cast. I think I might have been a bit to harsh on this one, as most of the album wasn't that memorable, with how amazing Bohemian Rhapsody is. I didn't understand what this album "was" with it's vaudeville style, but now, I see that it's this halfway point between the Hard Rock and the Prog Rock of the 70s, with that theatrical flair to make it standout. Definitely worth checking out.
    
14. Sex Pistols - Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols (1977) B [2 listens] // A- {2 listens} In 1987, Rolling Stone listed this as the 2nd best album of the last 20 years (since 1967) only after Sgt. Pepper's and man, did that made it easy for me to view this as overrated. I think since listening to more Punk Rock that followed this, I start to see how much better they've done with this compared to others. The guitar playing actually changes throughout the song, Johnny Rotten is actually expressive and feels spontaneous, and the drumming is creative. But the real change in opinion is the guitar playing: the riffs on many of these songs are undeniably awesome, which gives Rotten so much to work on top of. My biggest gripe with Punk Rock is how repetitive some bands can be. Now after more listens to this, I can absolutely NOT say the same can be said about this album. It's varied and expressive; how Punk Rock should be.
    
15. Steely Dan - Aja (1977) A [1 listens] // A+ {1 listen} better than I remember. The jazz rock combo is really good, it really leans into the jazz instead of simply using it as an aesthetic. It's not Prog whatsoever, just jazz with traditional Rock instruments. Honestly, you can barely tell if this would considered Rock at all. You really got to like jazz to love this tho. It has that free flowing feel of that genre, from the instrumentation to the flow of the singer. Great album! I'm assuming Steely Dan is hated by the rock community because of this heavy leaning into jazz. Which is understandable, but that doesn't mean they don't make phenomenal music.
    
16. AC/DC - Highway to Hell (1979) B+ [2 listens] // B {1 listen} They haven't quite moved away from the Blues sound yet. Back in Black is a pure distillation of what Hard Rock should be as a stand alone genre, but they don't quite have that confidence in being that brash yet. Bon Scott does a lot of heavy lifting as Angus Young doesn't have that swagger in his solos yet. A lot of the songs aren't super great, but they at least still carry energy. Highway to Hell is a fantastic song, but the majority is just meddling around in this laid back blues style.
    
17. Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms (1985) B [1 listens] // B- {2 listens} I originally wrote this off as one that I "just didn't get", with how insanely commerically successful it is. Now after listening to their Self-Titled album, it actually becomes even more disappointing as you know how much more they're capable of. There's such a signature style on it and this throws all of it away in exchange of a 80s soft rock sound. Walk of Life and So Far Away are good tunes, due to the guitar hooks; everything else is just shallow.
    
18. Pixies - Doolittle (1989) A- [2 listens] // A+ {2 listens} Now, I view this band on the level of the Beatles or Velvet Underground as one of those influential bands that changed music. At the time, Doolittle was too weird for me, but with much more context from this era, this is just insanely great. Compared to Surfer Rosa, the versatility is on a different level. While it is great and varied, it's not exactly "great" in any one area, so I can see why the bands that were influenced by them are viewed as better, as their stuff would've been more focused in one style instead of all over the place. Great album, legendary band.
    
19. Alice in Chains - Dirt (1992) A [2 listens] // Masterpiece {4 listens} This album is a grower. Every time I listen to it, I like another song from it. The harmonies are God tier, the guitar riffs, God Tier, the choruses, God tier. Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell... peanut and jelly. I've given out 2 masterpieces to grunge albums (Nevermind and Ten), so what makes this different from those is that Dirt takes its time in developing songs. So many of these songs start slow and somber, and quickly turn aggressive and passionate! Gnarly riffs on one song, than a few minutes later, you're listening to soft vocals behind a rough, tortured voice. Not a bad song on here, hit after hit, I got to say it's a masterpiece.
    
20. Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral (1994) A [3 listens] // A+ {2 listen} the word "gritty" might get thrown around a ton by me, but I still haven't heard such a brutal, harsh sounding album while still having pristine production value. It's nasty and mean. Even in the slow moments, you can feel the pain, anger, or sadness in his voice. Compared to other stuff, it doesn't have that much replay value to it, as it's not exact what one would call "musical". But you got to call it what it is: art.
    
21. Green Day - Dookie (1994) A [2 listens] // A+ {1 listen} It's just good music. Yes, the ceiling isn't as high as it could be, but it's so enjoyable that it is always a fun listen. The album is on point from start to finish, it's one of those "if you like one, you like it all" love it or hate it kind of deals. From Burn Out to When I Come Around is just Pop Punk perfection; the backhalf doesn't hold up compared to the start, but it's all still very good.
    
22. Weezer - Self-Titled "The Blue Album" (1994) A- [1 listen] // A {2 listens} I only gave this one listen and only revisited it after listening to Pinkerton. Isn't not as dismissable as I originally remembered, as I only gave it one listen. It's more POP- punk thank pop-PUNK compared to Dookie, which led me to not care for it as much. And it's pretty good pop, with a punk style to give it some edge, I guess. I still like Pinkerton more than it, but it can definitely stand alone as a good album itself.
    
23. Oasis - Definitely Maybe (1994) A [2 listens] // A+ {2 listens} Liam Gallagher is really good... but Noel Gallagher is the truth, bro. That dude knows how to make a great song. They aren't super complex, but they're all have perfect execution. Mix in that Wall of Sound effect with the guitars, it makes this stand out even more from the overwhelming stacked albums of the 90s. The non-single tracks aren't as strong compared to (What's the Story) Morning Glory?, as that album is damn near perfect imo. Great debut album.
    
24. Radiohead - The Bends (1995) B+ [1 listen] // A {2 listens} If Radiohead didn't make this album, I highly doubt I would've listened to this. Which is a shame, because this is a really good album. On the flip side, being a Radiohead album also did more harm than good, as it gets massively overshadowed. I admittedly did a half assed listen to "get to the famous stuff". Fake Plastic Trees, the Bends, and Black Star are great songs. I've listened to Ok Computer so much that I come to think of it as their official "start" of their sound, when in reality, they set the stage on The Bends of what can be possible down the road. Also, they toured with Alanis Morissette with the album, so extra bonus points!
    
25. Arcade Fire - Funeral (2004) A- [2 listens] // A+ {2 listens} better than I remembered. I definitely thought it was borderline pretentious, with how the song structure is when I originally listened to it. Now, without that stigma, it's not THAT abstract and I've come to admire the creativeness of it. I always love when there's women vocalists, to mix up the sound and so many different instruments add even more to the variety. It always feels like a new listen, with how many things I'll forget to notice and remember again.
    
26. Lcd Soundsystem - Sound of Silver (2007) A- [1 listen] // A {2 listens} The first 4 songs are awesome; Get Innocuous with it's multirhythmic layering is my textbook PERFECT song, a 21st century "Remain in Light" homage. The rest just loses this energy and it's never found again. Compare the first track with the last one and it sounds like two different projects. I know you can call me a hypocrite with how much I love Remain in Light, but at least with that one, it's only the last song and not half of the album. Seriously tho, Get Innocuous is a top 10 song of all time
    
27. Tame Impala - Currents (2016) A- [1 listen] // B+ {1 listen} Didn't expect my feelings to decrease, but compared to Lonerism, this is so mid. The lack of a real "great" song (Rihanna's Same Old Mistakes clears) makes it tough to love. It is consistent though, so it's still a good listen; just not a memberable one.
    

Albums I revisited, but no change in opinion. I feel like with these, I need to explain/defend myself more than I did on the original reviews:

1. Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (1965) A+ [4 listens] // {3 listens} After listening to a good chunk of their discography, I've come to two conclusions on Pet Sounds: 1) This album is truly lightning in the bottle as they NEVER reach it's level of consistency in quality from track to track. 2) Baroque Pop, while groundbreaking, came and went as fast as it arrived, mainly due to how abstract it is compared to its successor, Psychedelic Rock. Beyond that, there are a few skips that are solely due to wild creative mind of Brian Wilson. As a musical genius, dare I say better than Lennon and McCartney, but as a songwriter? Not even close imo. Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt. Pepper's are all great albums, while Pet Sounds can be argued to be their only great album (Wild Honey is also a good listen). I know bringing up the Beatles can be annoying, but the Beatles made great "hit singles" with their song layout, while about only half of the tracks on Pet Sounds are what I'd consider a traditional song. That's probably why I don't think it's so amazing (I kinda feel the same about progressive Rock) as I tend to favor music with a concise structure; even as unoriginal the structure may be.
   
2. Jimi Hendrix Experience - Are You Experienced? (1967) B+ [1 listen] // {1 listen} I can't get into it. The songwriting isn't there, especially compared to the stuff that would follow it. This is him at his rawest, but it's a reason why Medium Rare is the most commonly cooked steak.
   
3. The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed (1969) B+ [2 Listens] // {3 listens} Thought I would flip on this album, but surprisingly didn't change at all. I still think Gimme Shelter is the best Rolling Stones song and I still think You Can't Always Get What You Want is still a phenomenal album closer, but everything in between is pretty lackluster (besides Live With Me).
   
4. Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon (1973) A [4 listens] // {1 listen} I do enjoy this album more now I know how other Progressive Rock bands sound like, but not enough to raise it a grade. I enjoy Time and the whole second side much more and the "emptiness" of the genre doesn't bother me as much. But the first half is still a little too abstract for my liking. However, I do see how people can view this as their GOAT album with how groundbreaking it's release was at the time and outside of only other Pink Floyd albums, there's nothing else in this genre that really matches the "entering another world" feel it creates.
   
5. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here (1975) A [2 listens] // {1 listen} Similar thoughts to DSotM, but this one has the more catchy "songs" and partly why I love it more. Welcome to the Machine and Wish You Were Here are fantastic, but overall not enough meat for my liking.
   
6. The Ramones - Self-Titled (1976) B [2 listens] // {2 listens} I decided to give the Godfathers of Punk another try since I surprisingly came over to like the other Godfather, the Sex Pistols. And yeah... still isn't my thing. Way too one note, monotone singing, guitar takes over too much of the sound, etc. There are a few good hooks here and there, but you basically hear the entire song in the first 15 seconds. Everything I hate about Punk, stemmed from this album and made a lazier copy.
   
7. The Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dreams (1993) A+ [2 listens] // {1 listen} apparently the Smashing Pumpkins aren't considered grunge? If that's the case, comparing them to a Noise Rock band like a Sonic Youth or a Faith No More, they don't they don't rock out as much as I'd like. Also, I don't like how a few of these songs sound similar to each other. Today and Hummer of course are all top tier songs, but it's just not as much of a comprehensive project as Mellon Collie. Yea, it's definitely not grunge, as it would be much harder if it was.
   
8. Radiohead - Ok Computer (1997) A++ [2 listens] // {4 listens} Close, but no cigar. The first 3 songs and the last 3 songs are PERFECT, it's the stuff in between that makes it fall just short. The run of Karma Police into Fitter Happier to Electioneering is also a great moment in the album. Honestly, it's just Exit Music being "okay" that really stops it from being considered a masterpiece in my eyes. Still one of the greatest albums of all time, but not perfect in my eyes. This album is my perfect barometer for an A++ grade; it's objectively a perfect, but on the subjective level, there's nothing that makes me "adore" it. I completely understand how anyone thinking an A++ album I graded is a masterpiece, as I have to personally love it that extra step for it to get to that level.
   
9. Radiohead - In Rainbows (2007) A++ [3 listens] // {3 listens A+/A+/A++} Let me end it on a positive review: I didn't really give a thorough listen to it at first, as I don't remember much from it. Over time, my opinion on it dropped as I truly didn't see why people find it so special as they do. Ok Computer easily has the better individual tracks, Kid A is easily the most experimental. After finally revisiting it, maybe because it's a great midway between the two, with a weird electronic-rock-jazz fusion. Feels like there's not a single wasted second; every beat and note is meticulous. It's more chilled and laid back, which threw me off on the repeat listens. The hodgepodge of electronic and experimental sounds, being used in this traditional lofi style instead of being a fast paced one, was the curve that made it hard to love it at first, but now I think that's what makes it unique in its execution. A LOT of these rhythms could have been large and bombastic, and I kinda admire it's restraint in remaining "down in Earth". Also the album cover is noteworthy, where it feels completely spontaneous, never fully knowing what to expect going in. Definitely deserves its high praise
   

Albums I also revisited, but no change in opinion. Don't have too much to add on these, but listed them as my grades are concrete on these compared to the ones I didn't choose to listen to:

1. The Velvet Underground & Niko - Self-Titled "The Banana Album" (1967) A+ // Venus in Furs maybe one of the greatest songs ever composed
   
2. Cream - Disraeli Gears (1967) A+ // It still holds up, so damn awesome
   
3. Bob Dylan - John Wesley Harding (1967) B+ // yeah, he's kinda rambling on this one
   
4. The Stooges - Fun House (1970) A- // it's "the Stooges", possibly their best
   
5. The Rolling Stones - Exile on Main Street (1972) B+ // Nope, still didn't love it, still a mess
   
6. Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (1972) A++ // One I thought wouldn't have held up. I shall never question Sir Elton's greatness again
   
7. The Eagles - Hotel California (1975) B // Great start, gets worst as it goes on
   
8. Patti Smith - Horses (1975) A- // labeling this "Punk Rock" is a nicer way of calling this weird af
   
9. The Clash - London Calling (1979) Masterpiece // Not only is there not a bad song here, but every song is perfect. Not great... PERFECT
   
10. U2 - Joshua Tree (1987) B+ // I can't deny that there are some good songs on here, even if I'll never listen to it again
    
11. The Cure - Disintegration (1989) A // after 375 Rock albums, Plainsong is still the greatest opening track
    
12. U2 - Achtung Baby (1991) A- // you gotta admit Bono is pretty cool on this one
    
13. Nirvana - In Utero (1993) A // love the Bass guitar's tone on this one, rawer contrast to Nevermind. I'm glad I didn't grow up in the 90s, as this will always sound so new and fresh to me :)
    
14. System of a Down - Toxicity (2001) Masterpiece // Similar to Hybrid Theory, if this wasn't labeled as "Nu-metal" (and maybe didn't get so overplayed and copied), even the most pretentious critic couldn't deny how great this is
    
15. Green Day - American Idiot (2004) A+ // Feels almost like a different band, the songs are much more nuisanced in its lyrics and its musical structure. That transition from Holiday to Boulevard still gives me goosebumps, such a great song.
    
16. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever You Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (2006) A++ // a tour guide to the UK nightclubbing/pub scene, way better than it has any right to be honestly
    

Bonus: Ween - 12 Golden Country Greats (1996) A [4 listens B/A-/A-/A] Country is still a somewhat foreign genre for me and I've been kinda bored with the concept of it. But it's Ween, so they've fully earned my trust at this point so I'll give this a try. This style is more or less my biggest indifference with the genre: it's not heavy enough to be impactful as rock, yet not soft enough to be as intimate as Folk. It's in this inbetween grey area where it's just not super captivating for me. With that said, it's rarely has been the "so bad, I can't stand to listen to it" levels of boredom that it has been made out as. That signature tongue-in-cheek humor of Ween is here and it makes the project more enjoyable. With Ween, whether it's supposed to be satirical or serious, the quality of songwriting is always top tier, so it's very easy to take whatever they're doing with my full respect rather than viewing it as just a joke. Japanese Cowboy, Mister Richard Smoker, Powder Blue, Piss Up a Rope and You Were the Fool (the best one) are my favorites; but other than Fluffy, every song is a good time. What really sells this album in particular, is that none of these songs would sound out of place on one of their other Rock centric albums, which allows me to extend a lot more grace towards it. Pretty good listen. For what it is, it's pretty consistent, but there's of course better Ween albums out there.

Looking for ideas.. I’m a single mom to a little one in an apt in the south where it’s 95 usually, high 80’s at night. Good ideas for ways to stay cool? We’re used to it being 72 max with AC..

[The Dragonpit](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fgameofthrones.fandom.com%2Fwiki%2FDragonpit&psig=AOvVaw1XVCZ1UCiXpGNb3uGmfDPE&ust=1685629234742000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CBAQjRxqFwoTCPigkfjgn_8CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE), Kings Landing

Kings Landing has never been described as a beautiful city, even at its best, and this certainly was its best. Targaryen banners hung from the streets, and bread and flowers had been doled out to the populace of the city. Partially to celebrate the ascension of Aegon to Prince of Dragonstone, partially to combat the stench and restlessness of Kings Landing. A team of street cleaners had been instituted as well, scrubbing Flea Bottom of the shit it was known to hold, and spreading throughout the city, a perhaps futile effort to make the place look presentable.
Nobles from across the realm had come and gathered in the dragon pit ushered in by Septons and watched by guards swathed in black and red. They were herded into a partially repaired dragonpit, the rubble and debris having long since been cleared away, and the great bronze dome abandoned in place for an open glass skylight that let the sun bear down on those in attendance.
The royal family and the hand stood on a raised stone platform, high above the realm with Aegon standing in the middle of them all. Looking over the crowd Maelor couldn’t help but admit his own surprise at how many had turned up for the ceremony. Black and Green alike were in attendance, and even the Dragonpit looked fit to burst due to how many had attended.
As the ceremony began the Septon gave a long winded speech, during which Maelor was barely able to keep still as the man waxed poetic about the virtue of kings, and mourned the loss of Prince Daeron and Queen Bethany. Maelor had to bite his tongue during that bit, he’d preferred to leave his kin out of tonight’s festivities, tonight of all nights he’d hoped to not think about Bethany, about his lost love and fallen son, both taken well before their time.
The King's eyes rested on Aegon, the boy he’d raised, the son he’d grown to be from the boy he’d taken from the sands of Dorne. There was love for him, in his heart, and oft times Maelor had wondered where he’d be if he’d ever heeded the advice of William Baratheon and thrown the boy into the Blackwater. Worse perhaps, a bitter man still searching for a way to douse his fury, a man who was looking at the end of his line, with few options to preserve it. He shook the thoughts out of his head, turning his attention back toward the ceremony.
After what felt like years the Septon turned around and produced a slender coronet: a simple band of red gold unadorned and unremarkable, but still a fine thing, fit for royalty. Maelor had designed it himself, thinking that Aegon would’ve preferred something more to his taste, not too audacious and better than the black iron coronet that Maelor himself had worn as Crown Prince. As the Septon finished his ramble, he gently placed the crown atop the Crown Prince's head, and Aegon rose as the herald proclaimed him.
“Aegon Targaryen, Prince of Dragonstone, Heir to the Iron Throne!” The herald's voice bounced off the walls of the ruined castle, and he was met with a thundering reply from those assembled.
————————————

The Great Hall of the Red Keep

[Vibes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nERPIqWXTLM)
After the ceremony the nobility of Westeros filed into the great hall for the feast, with Maelor accompanied by his White Cloaks and the royal family, with the small council following closely behind. Seating for the feast was quicker than expected, and almost immediately drinks and food began flowing freely among the guests, though the air was heavy with the tension of a hundred different grudges left over from a twenty year old war.
The high table was sparse compared to earlier years, with Maelor in the middle, Aerea on his left and Daena next to her. On his right was William Baratheon, his strong right hand, seated between him and Aegon who sat on the end of the table. Maelor was dressed simply, in a black tunic and pants, swathed in a fine cape of crimson pinned by a dragon of red gold. The Crown of the Conqueror sat atop his head, fine rubies and valyrian steel heavier than he remembered; *Blackfyre* hung from his waist, its familiar weight a comfort to him.
Standing from his seat Maelor cleared his throat as the room quieted, and put on a small smile, looking over the crowd once before speaking.
“Thank you all for coming, truly, it has been so long since I’ve seen the Red Keep so lively, my own daughter can attest that she’s not seen me so rife with worry. Seven know finding enough food to feed you all was the hardest my hand had let me work in years.” Aegon took a breath and prepared for what he was to say next.
“I know many of you have your reservations about Rhaenyra’s descendants, the Black Line, the Tainted Line, unfit to rule a kitchen much less a kingdom. This will not stand. Prince Aegon will wed Aerea when she comes of age, and will sit the throne after me, this is what I have decreed, and this is how it shall be for now.” He could see the surprise on the faces of a few of those gathered and the anger at others.
“Failing that, should the worst happen, I’ve made another choice as to the future of the realm. You are all aware that my own wife was lost to sickness three years ago, I loved the Queen, and there shall never be another like her. But there shall be another Queen. I will take a new wife, a new queen that will bear my children, and stand by my side during the coming years.”
“I have made no choice, and not yet considered any candidates, I’d hoped to marry for love as I did once before instead of haggling like cheesemongers.” He smiled then, a small thing that he hoped would take the tension out of the room.
Whatever reaction was to be had would be silenced with a raised hand, and once again Maelor would look over the assembled crowd. “Now, enough of politics, enough of old grudges and hard words. There is a feast to be had, drinks to be downed, and plenty of food to be eaten.”
“Music!” The band began to play with a vigor, jumping into their craft with peerless skill. “Go now, tonight we drink, tomorrow the finest of the realm will joust and fight for the honor to name a Queen of Love and Beauty. Enjoy the night, and may it last long.” With that Maelor sat down, and took a cup in his hand while rubbing at his eyes.
“Seven fucking hells.”