In preparation for the Winds of Winter, I am creating a list of plot lines in each region. This post covers The North and its many troubles. Feel free to leave any comments, analysis, predictions, or ones I missed!

1.) House Thenn and the taking of Karhold

After the marriage of Alys Karstark to Sigorn, Magnar of Thenn, 200 well armed Thenns plan to march on Karhold. According to Jon, Alys believes that "Karhold will open its gates to her." Karhold being taken over by House Thenn will have many implications. Firstly, it will be the first location south of the Wall actually ruled by the Free Folk. Additionally, House Karstark has only feigned support for Stannis and in the sample TWOW chapter,Stannis vows to execute Arnolf Karstark, his son Arthor, and his grandsons which would leave House Karstark without clear leadership besides Alys and newly created House Thenn

2.) Settlement of the gift

The gift is land officially owned by the Night's Watch. In the old days, the Gift was once populated by villages and holdfasts that paid taxes to the Night's Watch. However, after a few millennia of Free Folk raids on top of a harsh northern climate, the villages disappeared and the holdfasts turned to ruin. In ASOS, Stannis offers to allow the Free Folk to resettle the New Gift if they swear loyalty to Stannis and his cause. Jon Snow as lord commander reluctantly agrees with this plan. It appears that the settlement has not began yet, but it will be quite interesting to see the interaction between the Northern Leadership and Free Folk Settlers.

3.) Ironborn occupation of Torrhen's Square

In ACOK, Dagmar Cleftjaw led the first failed taking of Torrhen's square. After the host at Torrhen's Square left to try to take Winterfell from Theon, Dagmar Cleftjaw returned and successfully took the castle for good and has been held up ever since. There has not been any serious attempt to retake the castle and the Ironborn have sort of just held it in the background while the Lady Eddara Tallhart has still remained captive. However, with Asha and Theon Greyjoy as hostages of Stannis, maybe this longstanding occupation will have implications.

4.) Davos In Skagos

Davos was sent to Skagos by Wyman Manderly to find Prince Rickon Stark. Skagos is a group of islands shadowed in mystery with plenty of rumors of cannbialism being circulated. All we really know definitively of Skagos is that it is lead by three clans: House Crowl, House Magnar, and House Stane. Furthermore, we know that there has been historical relationships between East-watch and Skagos though the nature of the relationship is not clear. More interestinly, Janos Slynt may of actually been in Skagos for a while because the ship he used to travel to the wall apparently had a stop in Skagos.

5.) Manderly Alliance

“Oldcastle and Widow’s Watch will take their lead from me. My bannermen include a dozen petty lords and a hundred landed knights. I can deliver King Stannis the allegiance of all the lands east of the White Knife, from Widow’s Watch and Ramsgate to the Sheepshead Hills and the headwaters of the Broken Branch. All this I pledge to do if you will meet my price” - Davos IV ADWD

Wyman Manderly remarks on his true plans; he is creating a large amount of ships, he is feigning loyalty to the Iron Throne, and he is a staunch Stark Loyalist. An important detail is that Wyman has two named house of equal lordly status that will take his lead: House Flint of Widow's Watch, and House Locke of Oldcastle. But with Lord Manderly critically wounded and Stannis believing him to the killer of Davos, the future of this alliance in relation to Stannis is in question.

6.) The Neck

Many interesting characters and plots are coalescing in the Neck. Hallis Mollen and his escort are carrying Ned's bones in the Neck. Lady Maege Mormont and Master of Deepwood Motte Galbart Glover, both witnesses to King Robb's final will, are presumably in the Neck as well. With these important characters in the Neck, it's possible that there is something being planned in the Neck with the aid of the mysterious Howland Reed.

7.) The Northern Mountain Clans and Bran's Identity

"But the nights are colder now, and doors are closed. There's squids in the wolfswood, and flayed men ride the kingsroad asking after strangers."
The Reeds exchanged a look. "Flayed men?" said Jojen.
"The Bastard's boys, aye. He was dead, but now he's not. And paying good silver for wolfskins, a man hears, and maybe gold for word of certain other walking dead." He looked at Bran when he said that, and at Summer stretched out beside him. - Bran II ASOS

To most of the north, Bran has been long dead, killed by treacherous Theon Greyjoy. House Manderly and House Bolton are really the only two houses that know Bran is still alive. However, this man identified only by his affiliation to House Liddle knows about Bran's identity. Since this meeting, House Liddle has declared for Stannis Baratheon. Perhaps this man from House Liddle will be used by Stannis to confirm the Manderly story?

8.) Siege of Winterfell and the Battle of Ice

Stannis is currently beseiging winterfell with a modest host of loyal southerners and disgruntled northmen. At the end of ADWD and in the TWOW sample chapter,>! we learn that the Frey host and Mandarly host have been sent outside of winterfell to meet Stannis' host in battle, but due to Crowfood Umber's traps, Aenys Frey was killed and Hosteen Frey lost his horse. !

9.) Conflict Within the Walls of Winterfell

There are many mysteries and conflicts within Winterfell itself. On the surface level, there are many political tensions. Many of the houses have a tenuous loyalty to the Boltons and only remain loyal because their kin are captive after the Red Wedding. There is good reason to believe Lady Barbery Dustin, Lord Rodrik Ryswell, Lady Jonelle Cerwyn, Lord Ondrew Locke, and Lord Harwood Stout are likely to betray the Boltons. On top of this, Mance Rayder, under the guise of Abel, is allegedly a captive of Ramsay, and there is a serial killer stalking the halls killing any unfortunate soul who comes their way. Lord Wyman Manderly also has a critical injury and is being treated at Winterfell while his host marches out.
On a higher magical level, one of the largest mysteries is Jon Snow's persistent dream of the crypts:

Somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to. I'm afraid of what might be waiting for me. - Jon IV AGOT
He dreamt he was back in Winterfell, limping past the stone kings on their thrones. Their grey granite eyes turned to follow him as he passed, and their grey granite fingers tightened on the hilts of the rusted swords upon their laps. You are no Stark, he could hear them mutter, in heavy granite voices. There is no place for you here. Go away.... Up above he heard drums. They are feasting in the Great Hall, but I am not welcome there. I am no Stark, and this is not my place. His crutch slipped and he fell to his knees. The crypts were growing darker. A light has gone out somewhere. "Ygritte?" he whispered. "Forgive me. Please." But it was only a direwolf, grey and ghastly, spotted with blood, his golden eyes shining sadly through the dark - Jon VIII ASOS

It will be interesting to see what lies in the crypts.

10.) Captives at the Dreadfort

A few characters are currently captive at the Dreadfort according to Theon and the AFFC Appendix:

• Lady Beth Cassel, current head of house Cassel and daughter of the late Rodrick Cassel
• Turnip, the son or daughter of Winterfell's head cook
• Palla, daughter of Winterfell's kennel master
• Bandy and Shyra, twin daughters of Winterfell's master of horse
• Old Nan, one of Winterfell's most senior servant who knows the story of the last hero along with many other important stories about Northern History.

The status of these captives is unknown because Ramsay has stated that he enjoys hunting captive women for sport, but if House Bolton falls during the Battle of Ice, then these captives could be liberated

This post was inspired by u/garbageslutt 's post a few days ago. Since I have a little time on my hands, I've decided to reflect on my undergrad experience here and share a couple of opinions on the courses I took. Hopefully, future students will find this post helpful. For each course, I will share the course average, my opinion on the difficulty (on a scale of 1-5 with 5 being the most difficult) and my opinion on the overall quality of the course (also on a scale of 1-5 with 5 indicating a course I enjoyed a lot). My difficulty ranking is relative to other courses on this list, and your experience may vary depending on the instructor.
YEAR 1 (Fall 2019-Winter 2020, fall term fully in person, winter term online after March)
ECO101H1-F (Average: C+, Difficulty: 3, Quality: 3.5)
This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I enjoyed this course. The course material was pretty interesting and the lecturer (Michael Ho) was pretty good. Concepts were straightforward and the math required was pretty trivial. The only downside is that the tests were quite long and a little unreasonable for a first year course.
HPS120H1-F (Average: B, Difficulty: 1.5, Quality: 3)
I took this course to satisfy my BR2 requirement and wasn't expecting much out of it. The course was less boring than I expected though. The course instructor (Fermin Fulda) was very knowledgeable on the subject and the evaluations were fair. I didn't really enjoy the last part of the course material, but that's just because I don't really enjoy biology at all.
HPS210H1-F (Average: B-, Difficulty: 1, Quality: 2)
I also took this course to finish my breadth requirements. This course was very boring, but very easy. The lecturer (Brian Baigrie) mostly reads off his slides (which are just paragraphs copied from his book). He wrote the course textbook himself, but forces us to buy it using Tophat. This course was basically a "pay to get good marks" course.
MAT137Y1-Y (Average: C+, Difficulty: 5, Quality: 5)
This was the hardest first year course I took by far. The material was very interesting though and the instructor (Asif Zaman) was amazing. The problem sets are hard, but we got a lot of time to do them, so its manageable if you start early.
MAT223H1-F (Average: C+, Difficulty: 2.5, Quality: 3)
This is one of the easiest math courses I took in all four years. The material is pretty boring but very important for upper year courses. My instructor was a pretty monotone grad student. Tests were fair and straightforward as long as you did the practice tests posted. This was one of the few courses where the posted practice tests were harder than the actual tests (instead of the other way around).
CSC108H1-S (Average: B+, Difficulty: 1.5, Quality: 4)
A very beginner friendly (and practical) introductory coding course. I went into the course with no programming experience and got a really good mark. The instructor (Paul Gries) was very nice and very active on Piazza. Assignments are long if you've never coded before, but we got a lot of time to work on them. Workload is manageable if you start assignments early.
ECO102H1-S (Average: B-, Difficulty: 3, Quality: 2.5)
This course was very boring and made me change my mind about taking more ECO courses in the future. The instructor's (Nathaniel Vellekoop) lectures were okay, but pretty boring. Like ECO101, the tests were unreasonably long.
MUS111H1-S (Average: B, Difficulty: 1.5, Quality: 3)
I took this course because I had background knowledge in classical music. The course was okay, but I found MUS207 to be more interesting (I'll talk more about that course later). Exams were fair and the essay was marked quite leniently. I'm not a good writer and I got a decent mark in this course.
STA130H1-S (Average: B, Difficulty: 1.5, Quality: 3.5)
This course is an introduction to R, which is used quite frequently in upper year STA courses. It isn't that important because R is covered/reviewed in upper year courses, but its a good introduction for students with little/no coding experience. The instructor (Liza Bolton) was good at explaining concepts and I enjoyed her lectures. The only thing that sucked about this course was the mandatory two hour tutorials that were pretty useless.
YEAR 2 (Fall 2020-Winter 2021, online)
ACT240H1-F (Average: C+, Difficulty: 3.5, Quality: 3.5)
The whole course is on the time value of money. If you understand the first third of the course well, you should be able to get a decent mark. The test format is what makes this course tricky. The tests are long and mostly multiple choice. One wrong intermediate step and you may get 0 on a 10 point question. Regular practice to ensure computational speed and accuracy is key to success in this course.
MAT224H1-F (Average: C+, Difficulty: 5, Quality: 3.5)
This course was surprisingly difficult for me (I guess I'm not much of an algebra person). It's easy to underestimate the difficulty of the course because a lot of the concepts are similar to those in 223. The course moves at a much faster pace than 223 and is pretty proof heavy.
MAT237Y1-Y (Average: B, Difficulty: 5, Quality: 5)
My thoughts on this course are pretty similar to my thoughts on 137 (probably because the coordinator was the same). The jump from 137 to 237 is much less overwhelming than the jump from high school to 137. The level of rigour for the two courses is roughly the same, but the notation in 237 is a little more messy. A good course to take if you enjoyed 137.
MGT201H1-F (Average: A-, Difficulty: 1, Quality: 3)
Highest course average I've seen in my four years here. The course is basically just high school accounting. Easy course with very trivial math.
STA257H1-F (Average: B-, Difficulty: 4, Quality: 3)
This course is not as rigorous as the course description suggests. If you took 137, you should be fine with the proofs. The instructor (Katherine Daignault) was okay, but I did not like here quizzes. There were a lot of "which statements are true" type questions with tricky wording. You need to be study definitions and concepts very carefully to do well on the quizzes. The tests were challenging but not unfair.
ACT245H1-S (Average: B-, Difficulty: 1.5, Quality: 2.5)
This is the easiest of the three second year ACT courses (and honestly quite useless). The first part of the course material (duration and convexity) never appears in upper year courses. The bulk of the course is on options, but all of the important option concepts (binomial model, black scholes) are not covered until ACT370. The only thing I remember from this course is "buy low, sell high, make profit".
ACT247H1-S (Average: B-, Difficulty: 4.5, Quality: 3.5)
This is the hardest of the three second year ACT courses. A good understanding of ACT240 and STA257 is required. The tricky part of this course is that there are a lot of new notations and formulas. Most of the formulas are not super complicated to use or prove, but its easy to forget certain formulas because you learn so many each week.
MUS207H1-S (Average: B+, Difficulty: 1, Quality: 3.5)
Another surprisingly interesting course. I expected the course to be about classical music, but it covered a lot more than that. The professor covered orchestral music in video games, film and television. Most of the required listening was enjoyable to listen to.
STA261H1-S (Average: B-, Difficulty: 3.5, Quality: 3.5)
This course was easier than 257 in my opinion. Level of rigour was roughly the same as STA257, but the quizzes were more straightforward. The instructor (Shariar Shams) was a good lecturer and very patient with answering questions in class.
YEAR 3 (Fall 2021-Winter 2022, fall mostly online with one in person final, winter mostly in person)
ACT348H1-F (Average: C+, Difficulty: 4.5, Quality: 3.5)
This course is a continuation of ACT247. The challenges are pretty similar to 247 (lots of formulas and notation). Knowledge of 247 is assumed, so you have to memorize all the new formulas in addition to the basic concepts covered in 247. I recommend doing a lot of practice problems to help with memorizing formulas.
ACT349H1-F (Average: B+, Difficulty: 2, Quality: 2)
I probably can't give an unbiased review about because it was my lowest undergrad grade. The course was not hard, but I wasn't interested in corporate finance at all. The prof (Jason Tome) wasn't very good either. Lectures are supposed to be three hours long, but he lets us out in under two and tells us to read the rest of the slides on our own.
ACT350H1-F (Average: B-, Difficulty: 4, Quality: 4)
I don't think I can give an unbiased opinion about this course either because the instructor (Silvana Pesenti) will be my PhD supervisor starting in September. The course material is a continuation of STA257. The lectures were pretty good, but I didn't like the textbook at all (and it wasn't followed that closely either). My only major complaint about the course is that there were not enough practice problems given. The final exam questions were reasonable but the test was a little too long in my opinion.
ACT390H1-F (Average: *, Difficulty: 1, Quality: 2.5)
This is a pass/fail course and you will pass as long as you do all the course work. The course was taught jointly by professor Samuel Broverman (who writes all the ACT study manuals) and Megan Whitehead (stats department career support person). There's no math in this course at all since this is a career development course. The course is very helpful for those looking for jobs since it covers things like interviews, resumes and cover letters. I personally wasn't very interested in the course since I'm leaning towards staying in academia. The course invites a lot of industry professionals to share their experiences. I didn't really pay much attention to those talks since they were online, but I recommend that you do if you're interested in staying in industry. NOTE: This course does not count towards the 20 FCE needed for graduation (I only discovered this after I finished the course).
STA302H1-F (Average: B-, Difficulty: 3, Quality: 3.5)
I think this course had a pretty good mix of theory and coding. Concepts were not too difficult, but the workload was high (lots of assignments). I also took this course with Katherine Daignault, and I think her teaching has improved. Quizzes were still awful, but slightly less wordy.
ACT370H1-S (Average: B-, Difficulty: 3.5, Quality: 4)
This course is a continuation of ACT245 (and much more difficult). The course mainly covers options at a medium level of mathematical difficulty. It is much more quantitative than 245, but a lot of the probability theory associated with option pricing (stochastic processes and SDEs) is not covered until ACT460. The course was very interesting in my opinion.
MAT246H1-S (Average: C+, Difficulty: 3, Quality: 4)
A really interesting course in my opinion. Its not very practical if you are not interested in mathematics, but I personally enjoyed the material. This is a proof heavy course, but the proofs are not super complicated. The midterm for this course was pretty easy. The final exam was much harder, but reasonable in length. Problem sets were not as hard as 137, but not easy either.
MAT334H1-S (Average: B, Difficulty: 2.5, Quality: 3)
The theory behind complex variables is very interesting, but the computations are a little tedious. The instructor was a grad student who lectured a little too quickly in my opinion. I was enrolled in a three hour 6-9pm lecture and it was hard to keep up after two hours. The textbook was okay though and it wasn't too difficult to fill in the gaps in my knowledge after class using the book.
STA437H1-S (Average: C+, Difficulty: 3.5, Quality: 3.5)
A very linear algebra heavy stats course. The course had a significant theory component and there were proofs on the midterm and final. Proofs are easier than MAT224, but you may find the course challenging if you only took MAT223. The instructor (Zhou Zhou) did review linear algebra in great detail in the first couple weeks in the course, so don't worry if your linear algebra is a little rusty. The final was worth 55%, so maybe stay away from this course if you don't like exams.
STA457H1-S (Average: B+, Difficulty: 3, Quality: 2)
The course material wasn't that bad, but the instructor (Tharshannah Nadarajah) wasn't that good. The course was entirely online and the pre-recorded lecture videos were just him reading off slides that he didn't make (you could tell he didn't make the slides because he struggled to pronounce some of the words on the slide). His tests were not super difficult, but they had typos sometimes (one question had a final answer with negative variance).
YEAR 4 (Fall 2022-Winter 2023, in person except PHY207, which was online with an in person final)
ACT451H1-F (Average: B-, Difficulty: 3, Quality: 3)
The instructor (Sheldon Lin) is pretty good, but I didn't find the material that interesting. Tests are open book, but they are pretty long. I suggest making a summary sheet of formulas that you are not planning to memorize. If you need to flip through all the lecture notes and the textbook to find formulas, you will not finish the test.
ACT460H1-F (Average: B+, Difficulty: 5, Quality: 4)
I also took this course with Sheldon Lin. I found this course much more interesting though (and much harder). A good understanding of stochastic processes is required. The course covers option pricing at a pretty high mathematical level (this course is also a cross-listed grad course). There are quite a few eng-sci students in this class and they're all pretty smart, so don't expect any curving up. Only take this course if you are interested in the material and confident in your mathematical abilities. There weren't any proofs on the tests, but I found stochastic differential equations to be quite confusing.
MAT244H1-F (Average: B-, Difficulty: 2.5, Quality: 2.5)
I also found this course to be pretty boring. It's an easy one though (just as easy, if not easier than MAT223). I mainly studied from the textbook and did really well in the course. The textbook is pretty detailed and an easy read.
MAT337H1-F (Average: C-, Difficulty: 5, Quality: 3)
A very heavy workload course. There were four problem sets, each with about 10 graded problems and a longer list of ungraded problems (only 3 of the graded problems actually got graded though). 80% of the midterm and final questions were from the list of ungraded questions (we were told this ahead of time) so you actually need to do the ungraded questions unless you're really good at writing proofs on the spot. The instructor (Ignacio Uriarte Tuero) was not bad and the lectures were recorded. First half of the content overlaps significantly with 137/237, but the problems are much harder. The last part of the course (series of functions) was very difficult in my opinion and I didn't really fully understand it.
STA314H1-F (Average: B-, Difficulty: 3.5, Quality: 3.5)
This course had a mix of theory and coding. There were four assignments, a midterm and a final exam. The assignments had some proofs (most were not too complicated) and coding. The last two assignments were much more coding heavy than the first two, but the instructor (Xin Bing) did provide starter code to help us out a bit. Lectures were pretty good in my opinion. Midterm was mostly straightforward except for the multiple choice. The multiple choice had multiple right answers and we got the mark iff we selected all the right answers and no wrong answers. Final exam was pretty challenging, but not unfair.
ACT452H1-S (Average: B-, Difficulty: 3, Quality: 3)
The course is a continuation of 451 and taught by the same instructor. I don't have much more to say about this course.
ACT455H1-S (Average: *, Difficulty: 4.5, Quality: 3.5)
This is the last course in the life contingencies sequence (247, 348, 455). Instructor was the same as 348 (Andrei Badescu). Lecture notes are a little messy, but he will explain what he wrote during the lecture. Tests are pretty fair and reasonable if you do the problems in the study manual. Usually, one of the problems will be taken directly from the study manual.
ACT466H1-S (Average: C+, Difficulty: 3, Quality: 3)
This course is somewhat related to the loss models courses (451/452), which is why I didn't enjoy it that much. Instructor was Andrei Badescu. I already shared my opinion on his teaching so I don't have much more to say about this course.
APM346H1-S (Average: C+, Difficulty: 3, Quality: 1)
My highest undergrad grade and also my worst course experience. Material is fairly straightforward and you can learn in from the textbook. There were a few simple proofs, but the course is mostly very tedious computation. The instructor (I.M. Sigal) was a horrible lecturer. I understood very little of his lectures. There were weekly in person quizzes, so we were kind of forced to go to his awful lectures. I kind of regret taking this course.
PHY207H1-S (Average: B+, Difficulty: 1, Quality: 4)
A very good bird course with very trivial (high school level) math. The course is online asynchronous with an in person final. Lecture videos were very good and there were lots of demonstrations (instead of just pure talking). Most of the course grade (~60%) were from various assignments (problem sets, final project, tutorials etc.) that had very high averages. Final exam was fair.
STA347H1-S (Average: C+, Difficulty: 3, Quality: 4)
The course was easier than I expected. The professor (David Brenner) was a great lecturer and made the course mostly computational. The prof did go on tangents sometimes, but he explained the main concepts very clearly. Midterm and final were mostly questions from his textbook (either copied directly or with minor modifications). The course has no assignments (40% midterm, 60% final).
COURSES I TA'D
MAT223H1-F (Fall 2021)
The course was basically the same as when I took it as a student in first year.
MAT135/136H1 (Fall 2022, Winter 2021, Winter 2022)
The two courses are very similar so I'll talk about them together. The two courses are application heavy calculus courses. They are not high school type math courses. You need to be able to do more than just simple calculations. You need to understand the concepts well enough to be able to apply them to unfamiliar problems. There are also writing assignments. If you're looking for a "more mathy" math course, look into 137 or 157 instead.

Hopefully the title made sense but probably didn’t lol but to provide some context, the other day on Friday, I went into panda and spoke to a manager regarding an application I has submitted like weeks ago. Everything went good and he said I would have a second interview with him and ig his boss? But he said he would text me a link either later that day or the following day for the virtual interview. The next day comes and it’s like around 3pm and I assume he’s either busy or forgot but I text him just asking and reminding him about the link and he texts back immediately and says he’s waiting on his boss to get to the store. Fast forward to now I’ve heard nothing back from him since then..so my question is should I wait for him to text me or text him in a few days or what..I don’t wanna sound pushy to him cause he seemed to really like me and then I really want the job but idk what to do😭 Sorry for the long ass post but thanks to anyone who reads it!

I had a rough childhood in almost every aspect, growing up was hard.. right from the start I was having trouble excelling in school. I flunked my first year of kindergarten, and then I had to repeat the 8th grade. It was a miracle every time that I somehow made it through. I paid attention and studied hard, but there was just something that wasn't right and I didn't understand. My parents boiled it down to me not paying attention and I would just cry because I knew that wasn't the case.. trying to talk back and have an actual conversation with my parents was impossible though.. I'd get a smack to the face from my mother, and don't let it be my father I was talking back to! He'd beat me until another tear wasn't able to fall.. my father was an alcoholic and always kept the cupboards packed with booze, when I was 14 I snuck some for myself to just see what was so good about it, and I thought it'd be a fun experience.. I was already dealing with tons of anxiety and self loathing at this age, I felt like a fucking failure and after that first night of trying alcohol- I found my cope. I started getting drunk alone in my room when my parents would go to bed at least 4-5 nights out of the week.. I was scared of being caught , but I thought that my father was getting too drunk every night to realize whether or not he drank the alcohol that was missing, I was right.
prioritizing drinking over my school work caused my grades to flunk further, by the time I made it into the 10th grade I was 18, still struggling and holding on by a thread. Literally all I could think about was getting home and drinking my problems away. I dropped out of school because it was getting increasingly harder, making friends was easy for me as a kid, but when I entered my teenage years, it's like my personality left and I felt/still feel like a walking mental illness.. I didn't know how to be happy or have fun anymore, my only idea of fun was drinking, which I did alone. After dropping out, I stayed at home most days, jacking off during the day to pass time, I was always ready for it to be night time.. I knew I was addicted, but I didn't care. Dropping out of school was the biggest mistake ever, for the next year and half that's literally all I did, drink and masturbate. My dad was still very emotionally abusive, but he didn't physically abuse me anymore.. I think because I reached his height and level of strength at that point. They harassed me about getting a job everyday and told me I needed therapy, and that they'd pay for it. I refused and all of this just led to more resentment, how are you going to offer help for what caused? I struggled with symptoms of OCD growing up, it was basically just the kind that my mind would get set on a situation and I'd end up overthinking it.. these thoughts came from a place of concern, but then I started to suffer from very very frightening intrusive thoughts- everyday my mind was plagued with the thought of killing my parents, especially my dad. The fact that my father had guns locked up in the house made these thoughts even scarier for me. I thought at one point I was going to actually end up doing it- it felt like my real self was watered down and that some kind of evil lived in me and I felt like I was barely in control of my own body. I used to stare at the guns/knives in the kitchen and just try to actually think about what it would be like.. by doing this, I thought it would scare me out of having these thoughts, but they only grew stronger.. because of this, I started to abuse alcohol even more, sleeping more hrs of the day and would go for walks randomly to put myself at a distance to protect my parents from my own self.. my family has never been been the religious kind, but I would just pray at night and ask God to take these thoughts away or at least let me die in my sleep. Suicidal thoughts never stayed with me long, I wanted to die, but I was too weak to do it myself. Every cope that I had worked somewhat, but I needed something more, I started to cut myself on my arms/thighs/and chest and it made living a bit easier. The thoughts still continued to grow and I had no options, I was either going to end up commiting a crime so evil, or accept help from my parents.. so I did.
I started to attend one therapy session a week until my therapist suggested I started seeing him twice a week.. I told him about my sick obsessive thoughts, how I've been drinking since I was 14, the self harming, and how I struggled in school.. that topic kinda stayed on the back burner for like 3 months because I was dealing with much scarier stuff at the time. I ended up getting an official diagnosis for depression, OCD and ADHD.. which probably explains a lot for why I struggled in school so much. I was prescribed Zoloft but due to his knowing of my struggles with alcohol, I wasn't able to get a narcotic for my ADHD. my OCD started to simmer down some l, but the thought still stayed in the back of my head always and was overwhelming. I was able to get a job in a factory, working in an environment like this was terrible.. I tried to avoid talking to others because I never wanted there to be a potential conflict, I was scared that if that happened I would end up being plagued with the thoughts of hurting others, it happened from time to time.. but those thoughts wore off, my thought of hurting my parents is still with me to this day. I continued to work up until I could get my own place, it was a crappy apartment, but at least being there kept me in distance from my parents, the only time I went over to visit was when I wanted to steal some alcohol.. which was often.
I had gotten a hold on the self harming, well besides drinking.. I was almost 20 at this point and then me and my therapist started to speak more about how about how I struggled in school.. how it was the spark for me falling into addiction. I then was diagnosed with dyscalculia and dysgraphia.. everything started to make sense now, I finally knew why I struggled so badly in school and now it was too late.. I never received any help, you'd think that someone in the school system would have suggested help- but no.. it was just brushed off as laziness. And the only response I got from bad grades, is a beating. After that diagnosis I started to self harm again, I was cutting almost everyday. This made my resentment grow for my parents, to the point of hatred for the both of them, especially my father.. my mother was abusive too, and I was definitely neglected as a child, but I blame my father even more.. this led me back to having the same thoughts and they were stronger than ever. I stopped going over there and eventually was able to buy alcohol from a gas station that didn't bother to ID.. I had so much built up anger and I had to take it out on someone or something.. every time I would get drunk, I'd end up punching more and more holes in my wall.. I'm afraid to move because I know I'd be sued out the ass. It's now been another year, im 21 and haven't spoken to my parents in like 7 months for the sake of their own safety.. I can't make friends, have a girlfriend, or even have a pet because I'm insanely afraid of what I could do in moments of rage.. besides the meds, I stopped going to therapy because I wasn't really getting anywhere. I feel like a lost cause and I really don't know what to do. What's there to work with? I have no intelligence, I'm severally mentally ill, realistically, I'll probably stay working a dead end job until I die alone of liver failure or something. I know this post was long, so if you read all of this, thank you.

Today I learned that you can never assume
I was booked for drop ins by one of these long-time regulars for this weekend. I'm watching two dogs, a cat, and a bearded dragon - how fun! The dogs have a large backyard area and a doggy door, so my job is to feed them and take them on a short walk morning and evening. None of my responsibilities involve the backyard.
Yesterday went by great - the dogs were happy, I had to feed the bearded dragon a roach, which was gross but entertaining!
This morning, when I arrived, one of the two dogs was missing. I checked the whole house before checking the backyard, and then I saw it - a side gate was open. The gate had been left open from before they went out of town. I never checked the sides of the house because I assumed the backyard was safe and secured. (My mistake!)
I immediately checked the house and backyard again, and called the owners. I got both dogs' harnesses and took the other dog through the backyard, trying to follow his scent trial. I called local police dispatch and made a report with animal control. I was asking and exchanging info with anyone walking around the neighborhood.
Meanwhile, the owners checked the camera. He was last seen in the house at 7am, and I had arrived at 8am, so he hadn't been gone for long.
After 45 min of searching, and 15 min after the police report, I got a call from police dispatch that he had been found. He hadn't gotten far, he wandered next door and the neighbors took him in and reported him as found. They got me in touch with the neighbors and after 2 hours of being missing, he was reunited home safely!
It was an awful, scary experience. I was in tears and can only imagine how scared and helpless the owners felt, being out of the country and not able to do anything. We are extremely lucky the neighbors did the right thing and made sure the dog was safe.
Sharing to trauma dump and share two lessons -

1. Always check to make sure all areas the pets will be in are secured!

2. Local police and animal control are here to help! We would have not been reunited so quickly if it wasn't for the police report

There is something quite ironic that I noticed these days. Many of the problems that Red Pill claim men have are issues that the people they hate have proposed solutions to.
The first one is mens suicide rates. Well, when society pressures a men to live up to very narrow gender role that only a minority of males can live up to, of course the suicide rate will be high.Femenists have been saying this for a while. Yet these Red Pill men want to affirm these gender roles even more. This literally makes the problem worse.
When it comes to males dying more in dangerous jobs or in the military. Femenists have advocated for a long time to allow women to be in such jobs because they believe they are just as competent. This will allow it to be more equal. However, red pill men oppose this, too.
Red pill men complain about men having the burden of being the primary breadwinner all the time. They also complain about how women get custody of the child in most cases primarily because the man is the breadwinner. However, when femenists propose that women should also start becoming the breadwinner to ease the burden of men and make custody battles more fair, they somehow don't like that.
Lastly, they also complain about men having to initiate when it comes to dating. Yet when femenists try to help women be more assertive and initiate more, the red pillers dislike that, too.
I hope I proved my point and highlighted the blatant hypocrisy among red pillers.

Dear Redditors,
​
I am reaching out to seek advice on improving my Chinese writing skills. I am currently 32 years old, pursuing an MBA, and planning to relocate to Hong Kong next month. Unfortunately, my Chinese writing skills are lacking due to my overseas education during childhood, coupled with a lack of interest in studying at the time. I estimate that I can only write around 50 to 100 words in Chinese, which limits my job prospects in roles that require Chinese proficiency.
Therefore, I am eager to embark on a re-learning process. I have two questions:

• Would it be more beneficial for me to engage a private tutor or attend a night school to improve my Chinese writing skills?
• In your professional opinion, how long do you believe it would take for me to reach at least a year 6 level of Chinese writing proficiency?

​
Thank you in advance for your guidance and any advice you may have.

I kicked a wrapper off of my coffee table and summoned the entire carton of chocolate milk out of my fridge, then put my feet up and flicked the t.v. on to search for something to watch.
But what? ‘I’m in the mood for some fangy bitey girls.’ I thought, and a little while later I was watching generic useless boy gets a harem by being nice and wholesome but really has eyes only for the vampire girl who keeps biting him because she likes his blood… yeah, yeah, there’s a title, but who cares what it is? I just wanted shenanigans, and shenanigans I got.
Jin, in my view, is a good boy, like a little brother who takes himself far too seriously. Ever since I moved in, he’s sort of been that way, happy to do stuff, happy to work hard, grateful for the opportunity to work for someone else…
Kind of a sucker, really.
But a good boy, and now that I knew he had some problems…? I yawned and stretched out my limbs while the protagonist got thrown around like a rag doll, “I’ll keep a closer eye on things.” I muttered and then laughed as I recalled the stunned bunny look of the brat that smacked him around.
I sort of doubted the secret would stay confined to the three of them. People gossip, like…a lot. They say that two can keep a secret if one of them is dead, but from what I have seen of people?
They both have to be dead and the ashes scattered in the sea because even dead men do tell tales if you’ve got a body to examine. And there were three of those idiots. One of them would say something sooner or later, no matter how ashamed they were of losing. Before long? I smiled a little as I watched the protagonist get rescued by his vampire vixen, ‘He’ll have a reputation as a badass without any work whatsoever, and even have a helpful bodyguard out of it?’
I wondered about that, but it wasn’t any of my business, the way I saw it, Jin got a pretty good deal out of some grocery shopping and a little cleanup work.
I chugged from the jug, gulping my milk down… a little clumsily, I lost some on the sides of my mouth, and I cleaned up by wiping the stuff away with my sleeves.
Jin returned about three hours later with a bunch of clean clothes in a big green trash bag over his shoulder, and a pair of big reusable grocery bags in the other, both bags were filled with the snacks I so desperately craved.
I salivated over them, hungry…wanting. Like fangy bitey vampire girl, whatever her name was, hungered for the blood of generic male protagonist, I in turn hungered for the taste of sweets!
My feet stamped on the floor as I moved to stand up and reach for the bags.
“Ooooh no.” Jin said with a boyish grin on his face, “I did all that, but before you start eating it all… did you eat anything this morning that wasn’t a snack?”
My stomach growled.
“Did you eat anything at all?” He asked and raised a dubious eyebrow at me.
“Not exactly… I drank milk.” I said and pointed to the now empty jug that I’d let fall onto the floor when I stood up. Good thing it was empty, otherwise…what a waste.
“Chocolate, too.” He half walked, half waddled with all that stuff toward my kitchen area. “Just… sit there and do nothing.”
I wasn’t about to complain about that.
I flopped myself down on the couch while he disappeared into my bedroom after depositing the groceries on the table.
“What ever did I do to deserve such an inept big sister?” he sighed melodramatically as he mocked my NEET lifestyle and put away my laundry.
“Hey, I solved your problem today, you could at least not refer to me as inept.” I huffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest. I knew he didn’t mean it, and I didn’t either, but even so…
“Yeah… thank you, but I have to ask… how exactly? What did you do?” He asked, raising his voice a little since he was out of view.
“What does it matter? Yesterday you had a problem. Today I did ‘a thing’ and now you won’t have that problem anymore. Don’t over think it.” I said, briefly pausing my show, I shouted, “And don’t go rifling through my underwear either, hentai!” I shouted.
“I’ll blindfold myself when I get to that drawer!” He promised.
“How will you know what drawer it is?! Wait, do you already know?! Are you peeping on me, hentai?!” I shouted again.
“No and… I assume you’ll tell me!” Jin shouted back.
“Oh, there isn’t one, just throw things wherever!” I explained, and heard him groan at my answer.
“You’re impossible!” he declared.
“And you’re possible.” I declared in return. It didn’t make sense, but it didn’t have to. There is no obligation to make sense when you’re with your friends.
“Uh huh, listen, you just wait there.” He said, then after a hesitant moment added, “Wait… yeah, like I need to tell you to not trouble yourself with doing stuff.”
I stuck my nose in the air and huffed while he came out of my bedroom a few minutes later and began to deal with the groceries. “You know, I just cleaned up over there, how is it you manage to get things so damn messy so quickly?” He asked while he put various things away out of the bags, storing ice cream in the freezer and chocolate milk on the upper shelves, frozen premade meals stacked neatly in the bottom and various jellos and other things in the fridge…
I shrugged. “Stuff happens?” I said as if I had no idea how I caused such debris to just ‘pile up’.
It was even sort of true. After all, do I seem like the sort of girl to keep track of shit I don’t care about? I hope not.
No sooner than I’d answered than he was fiddling around with my microwave. “What’ya doing?” I asked, watching him out of the corner of my eye.
“Getting you something to eat other than snacks. I swear, how did you ever become an adult?” He asked.
“Did nobody ever explain to you how time works, Jin?” I asked, as if that was an answer to his question, I knew what he meant, of course, but he also knew when I was teasing.
He blew air out of his nose and dragged his right hand slowly down the length of his face. As far as he knew, I was a high school graduate and college dropout who moved to the town of Sakura and just… enjoyed being the do-nothing neighbor.
I cracked a little knowing smile. There were a lot of rumors about me, of course. I had fun with that one. Some said I was in witness protection from the Yakuza, and that’s why I don’t work. Some said I actually am Yakuza, or at least part of a Yakuza family. That one’s crazy because I don’t look at all Japanese.
Some say I’m an American or European rich girl just hiding out from life, or that I have a Japanese ancestor and I’m here getting in touch with my roots and that’s why I have a Japanese name or… it goes on, some are wild, some are rational, none of them are close to the truth. And as to what I say? I haven’t told anyone anything concrete, of course. The less lies you tell, the less you have to remember.
I could see the curiosity in his eyes though, when Jin looked over at me while he prepared something to eat. Humans… they love their mysteries. A single mystery is worth ten thousand truths, at least to them.
Nobody knew how I paid for anything, but the truth was both the same as them and… very different.
I got paid per job, and I got paid well. Since Earth isn’t part of the interstellar community though, I would buy gold. Gold is really common in the Universe, so common it’s useless as currency, and it doesn’t have much use beyond decoration or some technological hijinks. So it’s dirt cheap, then, I go back to Earth on my vacation, sell bars of it for cash, then put the cash onto prepaid debit cards. It’s a little bit roundabout, but I can’t exactly file taxes here.
Jin approached and handed me my card, then set the dish down in front of me. “I hope you don’t mind, but I got a few extra things that weren’t on the list, some spices, things to make your food taste better. I’ll pay you back if that wasn’t OK.” He said, and then handed me a plastic fork.
“Nope, it’s fine!” I said and set the card on the table before chowing down and shoveling the pot pie stuff with…whatever was concentrated deliciousness that he added to it, into my mouth. “Thank you!” I said and beamed up at him as I ate.
He snorted and shook his head. I earned a lot of snorts, and I cherished every one of them.
“See you later, Kayobi.” He said with a smile that took up most of his face.
“See you later, Jin. Tell me how it goes at school tomorrow, alright?” I asked, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him nod as he walked past and I unpaused my show.
“Will do.” He said as the door closed behind him.
But he didn’t.

Jin stayed with me for a few hours before going home, it took a while to get the swelling down on his eye to be sure his mother wouldn’t notice. She is a sweet lady, but with a very strong spirit. Very stubborn. She’d have been a good swapper, and a great painter.
But dealing with Jin getting picked on was not something I wanted for her to be put through while she was sick… or healthy… or at all. And neither did Jin. So I held the compress over his eye while we watched an old series about gods hunting sorcerers while their pervert in the group continued to try to get the attention of ladies and got smacked around for it.
It was dinner time when he left, and when my stomach rumbled he said, “I’m going to make dinner for my mom, so… how about I bring you some of whatever’s left?” He grinned a little. “It’s the least I can do.”
“Sure thing.” I said with a much larger grin. He scratched his head a little.
“Huh, I kind of thought you’d say something about leaving it all for my mom and I or, ‘No you don’t need to do that…’ or… I dunno. Something?” Jin replied, and my grin broke to become laughter.
“Hi,” I said and tossed aside the now damp paper towel that was a soaked mess from the melted ice, it landed with a wet ‘splat’ noise on my floor and I stuck my hand out, “I’m Kayobi Taida and I don’t do chores, to include cooking, how are you and who are you?” I took his hand and gave it a vigorous shake as if we’d just met instead of known each other for a few years now.
He flushed bright red, “Alright, that’s fair, I had that coming.” He said and wiped his hand on his pants, “I’ll be back in a bit with something to eat.” He answered, and I pointed toward my cabinets in the kitchen area.
“Grab a plastic bowl, you know I’m-” He shook his head as I spoke.
“Not going to rinse the dish after eating, yeah, yeah, I know, we’ve met.” He said pointedly, then went, retrieved the disposable dish, and left my apartment.
An hour later I was chowing down on some pieces of roast and steamed vegetables flavored with garlic and sea salt while watching a jobless loser become a hero.
“Hmpf, like that’s realistic.” I said, and looked at my remote, it was just out of reach… all I had to do was lean over to get it, I held out my hand and teleported it into my palm, and pressed play to watch the next episode while I finished my meal and licked the bowl clean before throwing it toward my trashcan. It missed and rolled over the floor to fall onto its top a moment later after rolling around a few times in ever smaller circles.
“Whatever.” I shrugged, and dozed off watching the show.
I was awakened the very next morning by the knock at the door after having fallen asleep on the couch. The heavy pounding was almost panicked and for a moment that ‘morning amnesia’ had control over my brain and I remembered nothing of the day before until I heard Jin’s voice.
“Hey, Kayobi… are you up?” He asked, and I grunted.
“Yeah, yeah, one minute.” I said, then stood up, stretched, yawned, bent backward and scratched my back, and only then did I open the door.
Jin, predictably, was perfectly made up, well dressed and clean and ready for school.
“Alright, just remember, I’m letting you handle all my clothes… so don’t do anything ‘perverted’ with them, and when a man is allowed to handle a woman’s clothes, he’s not allowed to say a word about it or do anything lewd to them, those are the rules.” I told him, but he clearly wasn’t in the mood to be amused.
“So… who is going with you…?” He asked, “Are you going to go see their parents or…what?”
“No, I’m just going to go have a word.” I replied, “Don’t worry about it, just be patient and get all my chores done for me, and I’ll handle this for you.” I promised.
I didn’t give him time to object, I just walked out the door in my pajamas and made a mental note, ‘It’s been like four days in these things… I should change out of them… and go to a bathhouse or something.’ I thought, magic could do the cleaning for my skin at least, but it wasn’t the same.
When I was sure I was out of his sight and I didn’t detect anyone around me, my body shifted, changed, and I was no longer Kayobi Taida, I was Jin Toriyama, I even managed the uniform look with a little obfuscation magic.
“I hate mornings.” I mumbled as I descended down the wooden steps that carried me to the ground floor and headed toward the common road that would lead to Jin’s school. He hadn’t exactly said where the bullies had picked on him, but he didn’t really have to. If they wanted to avoid teacher interference then it was most likely at the playground right off school grounds where some old equipment still lay around.
Nothing dramatic, a rusted merry-go-round, a rusty slide that burned your butt in summer, and a set of swings that would probably treat a toddler as if they had the density of a neutron star and collapse under their weight.
All that people really used there anymore were a few old picnic tables because at least the creek was nice.
I walked along the road until I caught sight of them, the wind was a little chilly, and I didn’t care for it, so I held my arms across my body for warmth, ‘I wish I’d had him swap clothes with me, his jacket would probably be warm.’ Their uniform jackets were blue and had the school insignia of a gold coin inscribed with the face of a snow monkey, the school mascot, I suppose.
They had on straight black ties and black pants as part of the outfit, anyone looking at them would know what school they went to, not that there were many out here anyway. Small towns are nice for quiet lives.
I’d seen them first, but it didn’t take long before they spotted Jin… which is to say… me.
They were chatting to each other, I vaguely caught some amused laughter, rude gestures, and I think they were saying some rude things about Jin.
“Hey so… you came back after all…” The tallest of the trio approached front and center, hands in his pockets, leaning forward, he towered over Jin’s frame, and he was a lot stronger looking. He wore a cocky smirk on his face and said, “Hey, your eye healed up real good, real fast… it looks like you can get two for the price of one tod-”
He never saw my fist connect with his face.
But he sure felt it, and he tumbled onto his back, grabbing for his injured nose. His buddies, scruffy people with the unshaven beards of youths who hadn’t really learned how to use razors yet, but needed to, had enough time to look surprised before I caught them both around their necks and yanked them together, their heads cracked, and they collapsed in a heap over the top of their big bad.
I hopped over to the top of the heap and sat on the back of the peak of the pile, drawing a grunt of surprise.
“You sonofa- get off me!” He shouted all of a sudden, and I planted my heel on his already broken nose. He shouted with pain.
“Listen to me or the next one goes on your throat.” I said quietly in the sort of voice I used when I felt like monologuing on a painting job. He went very still.
“I got permission to fight back, I held back before so I wouldn’t kill you guys, but now I’m allowed to defend myself, so I won’t hold back anymore. I get to use my real strength and my real skills.” He was trying to wiggle free under the weight of myself and his friends, but I was quietly using a little gravity magic to increase the weight, there was a hundred eighty-one kilograms on the punk right now, and I was increasing it a little at a time so that it would be instructive without causing any permanent damage.
The confusion on his face was priceless, “So… no more of yesterday. Not for me, not for anyone else.” I frowned as he wiggled like a worm on a hook, “I’m waiting.”
He grunted and groaned as the pressure continued to weigh on him.
“Yea-gh! No more, alright! We won’t try anything anymore!” He shouted.
“Swear.” I demanded.
“I swear!” He said, watching my foot hovering over his neck was probably the most terrifying moment of his life, and I was convinced.
“Good. I don’t want to have to do this with anyone else either. And I don’t want anyone else to know what I can really do. So from now on, you’re responsible for making sure I don’t have to, and tomorrow, you’re going to publicly apologize to me and everybody else you’ve done this to. And if anybody tries to bully anyone else… you’re going to step in and stop it. You and your friends here.”
The confusion etched on his face… I wanted to laugh so hard…it was like he’d just found out that down was up and up was down after a lifetime of being wrong.
“I-” He stopped.
“Swear it!” I demanded.
“I swear!” He shouted. “Now will you please just get off! We never would have done that if we’d known you were strong in the first place! I’m sorry!”
I pushed myself off the unconscious pair and stood up, “You know that makes you super weak, right?” I asked.
“Whuh…” He stopped struggling as the spell vanished and I hauled the two unconscious friends off of him, I then held a hand down, to offer him a hand up.
“If all you ever do is pick on weak people, you’re weak too, like… who is stronger, who is braver or more impressive, the guy who stomps on a beetle, or the guy who slays a lion?” I asked, and it seemed he understood my analogy.
“That’s the difference between feeling strong, and being strong.” I said as I hauled him up to his feet as if he weighed absolutely nothing… thanks to a little gravity magic for a moment, he really didn’t.
I reached up and touched the eye on my face he’d left swollen before on Jin, “If you just want to feel tough, you’ll never ‘be’ tough. Now… I’ve got to head home and take care of my mom. She's sick today, but I’ll be back tomorrow. I won’t mention this fight to anyone. If anyone asks, I’ll pretend to be ignorant, like I don’t know what anyone is talking about. But you hold up your end of the bargain tomorrow.”
He hung his head, “Yeah, yeah I will…” He mumbled.
“Oh, and call someone to get these two, they will probably wake up in a few minutes,” I said and pointed to the still sleeping pair, “but they should be checked out anyway. Just say they had an accident horsing around on the equipment here, and fell into each other head first. That should explain it all.”
He gave a numb, mute nod, and I turned around to walk back the way I came. ‘That was easier than I thought, and I didn’t even have to listen to a monologue in order to get all my chores down today. Lucky me!’ I thought and hummed contentedly all the way back to my apartment, swaggering in just as I got rid of the shift to Jin and back to my preferred body… and dispelled the magic that disguised my dirty pajamas as his school uniform.
“Hey uh… so you’re back… are you… alright?” He asked and looked me up and down like he was searching for evidence of injury.
I smiled bright as the sun, “Yes, no problem, I gave them a firm talking to about proper behavior, they’re very sorry for what they’ve done, and they’ll be apologizing to you tomorrow, to you and everybody else too.”
“Wait… your… serious?” Jin asked me, his mouth agape, I laughed, approached, and patted his cheek with my palm.
“Yup, not to worry, they won’t bother you or anyone else again. But you still have to stay off work today and finish everything for me!” I hastened to add… “That includes going to the store and getting me some more chips, cookies, some ramen cups, uh…” I quickly began ticking things off that I wanted… it was a bit long, and when I was done he said…
“I don’t mind giving you a discount on stuff at my mom’s store, but I can’t buy all that!” He exclaimed.
“No, you use my card.” I explained, then went to my room, pulled out a prepaid card, and handed it to him. “Try to get everything on the list, will you? Now, I’ve got some shows that won’t watch themselves!” I said and flopped myself down on the couch to watch some poor sap die again and again and again while he simped over a half-elf.
It was shaping up to be a damn fine day, one full of amusement as Jin kept eyeing me as if he suspected I were some sort of alien or something. Nutty thought, am I right?

I wrote this after a brief exchange here and wanted to share it. It is my hope to bring some peace of mind to the community. Amongst you there will be eyerolls and those who just cannot accept this philosophy, I expect that. But, in the spirit of this entry, meh. I hope some of you see the value.
​
Meh is regimented Apathy.
It’s a method of acceptance and effortless living.
If you find yourself in an unfortunate situation, or emotionally hurt or rejected, fall back on the 10 year rule of Meh. If it’s not going to be important enough to affect your life 10 years from now, then it’s not important now. Flunking out of college will affect your future, throw a little effort at it. Some girl at the bar turning you down, meh. In ten years you won’t even remember that she existed.
Only 3 things really matter at the end of the day.
Hospitals, Homelessness, and Prison.
Avoid those 3 things and the rest is window dressing.
Your wardrobe isn’t important. High fashion is high effort. Dress comfy, the only people that care about your shoes are people who spent too much on theirs. Have fun, doing the things you enjoy doing, and don’t make anyone's day worse in the process.
This isn’t nihilism. This isn’t saying “nothing ever matters”.
Those 3 things matter most and a great many things go into avoiding them therefore matter by association.
For example, in the case of Homelessness, your job.
Your job matters because it helps to prevent you from becoming homeless. In most cases, Income is necessary for housing. Therefore, maintain hygiene, go to work, and play the silly game where you pretend that your coworkers are interesting and you enjoy being there. Then you go home and forget the job until you have to remember it again. Turn off your phone, get a faraday bag if you have the means. They can’t bug you if you disconnect. If your job demands you be available 24/7, it’s not a job. That’s indentured servitude.
A cleanish house matters because filth can lead to an infestation which can lead to eviction. If your landlord does inspections and sees a pile of dirty take out containers overflowing the trash can beside the couch, they may not renew your lease. Don’t leave food lying around.
Familial relationships can also be important for preventing the loss of housing. If possible, be at least on friendly terms with some family members. If the universe tries to knock you down(it will), have a couch to fall back on.
Avoiding hospitals can be more difficult because emergencies happen. The universe may decide to relabel out of date sushi, or hit you with an SUV, but those are things that you can’t control and must be endured. Meh doesn’t have the power to overcome a shattered spine, you’ll need to care about that one.
Avoiding hospitals is more about not doing unnecessarily hazardous things.
“I wonder if it would be fun to go for a jog through this dog park wearing a meat suit?”
Don’t do stupid dangerous shit. Don’t try to beat the yellow at the intersection, or jaywalk across a 5-lane. If you see an angry mob coming your direction, get out of the way. Those people have no Meh.
Staying out of prison should be the easiest of the big three to manage.
Just, Don’t do crime.
No one really cares if you smoke weed.(depending on location) Very few people consider that crime any more. But know your limits. Don’t smoke while on a stroll through the park or at the grocery store.
Don’t do REAL crime. If it’s not your stuff, leave it alone. Don’t hurt people that don’t hurt you first(Physically. emotional harm falls under the umbrella of meh.) Just stay off of the radar and out of the system as much as you can. When the cop randomly runs your ID, try and make his screen come up blank or boring.
Particularly avoid doing things that double or triple up.
“Imma spend all my money on this car, race it at 150mph through town, and plow it into a tree.” You are now in the hospital, broke and without transportation which will leave you homeless, and the cops want to have a talk when you wake up...You did this to you.
Beyond those scenarios, Meh.
Don’t waste effort, physical or mental, on things that don’t matter.
A coin is the ultimate expression of meh.
What do I want for lunch, Mexican or Burgers? *plink* Heads, Mexican it is. I keep an old Eisenhower dollar coin I found in my wallet at all times just for meaningless decisions.
If you don’t make anyone’s day worse by being you people may not flock to you but they’ll probably accept you. “Yeah, that’s Dave, he’s alright.” is superior to “Ugh, Dave's coming, let's go.” It takes more effort to ruin someone's day than it does to just nod, smile, and walk on by. You don’t need to make small talk, just look busy enough to be left alone.
Once you’ve fulfilled the bare minimum requirements to avoid being homeless, hospitalized, or imprisoned, you’re good. Do fun stuff. Whatever your fun stuff is, games, museums, clog dancing with dogs, it’s all good. As long as you are harming no one with the results of your actions, Meh. Find the places where the fun stuff lives. Go to those places. No more effort is required. Go to those places often enough, the other people there will come to know you. Once they’ve come to know you, do something to make their day better, no matter how miniscule, and they’ll come to love you.
Go to the craft aisle for a second while you’re at the store already, get a cheap bulk sheet of peel and stick googly eyes. Cut it up into pairs, and just hand 'em out at work or school. It will brighten peoples day for an insignificant amount of effort.
Is it buying friends? Kinda, but for .05 per person, it’s pretty affordable to see who sticks around.
They may not bang you, but you won’t be alone.
We live in an era of unprecedented connection, yet feel entirely disconnected. Meh, let the good times roll and see who they bounce off of.
It's philosophy that has served me well for 30 years. I recently read about Bai Lan(let it rot) and had to laugh. Many Chinese youth have weaponized Meh as a way to invoke social change. When I first read it I thought, "I've been doing that for decades. Mehehe"
I hope this helps someone here.

I worked in retail for four years and it’s the worst job. I work part time so I’m not there long but there are some days I’m there for like long hours and it’s always on days we have to socialize with the customers. Like I mostly work weekends and on those days we strictly have to focus on customers, no projects, no work just focusing on customers. We have to walk around and help customers and I already don’t know how to speak to customers. I get high anxiety doing it and on top of that it’s really boring. The customers can be rude, snobby and asking for too much and have embarrassed me in front of other coworkers.

I am aware this is complicated so I am not expecting for a single reply to give me all the answers, and also sorry if this is a long read. I'm just asking for some community knowledge to help me piece together the learning engineering path that I will be following for the next years. With that out of the way, here we go:
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• Context: I am a junior bachelor electronics engineer, and my goal is to tackle artificial intelligence from the hardware design front. Some examples of my dream job would be working in developing AI training chips like Tesla's dojo chip, or FSD chips, or Nvidia's hardware acceleration chips. I want to piece together a self-learning roadmap with tools and skills that could spark my creativity to do some projects and learn parallel to my university courses. I already know the basics of digital design and self-taught in the basics of machine learning.

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• My problem: After countless hours searching on the internet and forums, it feels like digging down an endless rabbit hole with so many possibilities that I no longer now which one would be the correct approach. Digital design, embedded programming, learning fpga vs microcontroller programming, what is even VLSI and how would I start learning it? Analog vs digital design, learn CMOS, etc..

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• My questions to this community: If you work in the industry or research in something related to my dream job examples above, I am asking for a little advice in any the following matters:

1. Could you give me recent book names or sources where I could catch up with the current frontier in chip design and/or machine learning? I need help in defining which problems speciffically I want to start trying to learn about.
2. Is learning FPGA design a good start? What would be the next step after learning the FPGA and digital design basics? Maybe learning SoC design? Would you recommend any books or courses with a hands-on approach?
3. If you think FPGAs are not a good direction, where else could I start looking?
4. If I were to apply for a position in those "dream jobs" I mentioned, I don't know which projects and skills would be interesting to the hiring manager that show some expertise or ability. Do you know any project ideas, tools, sources where I could start diving into the connection between chip design and AI. So far they seem like two different worlds.

Again, I am not expecting a single reddit user to figure out my life, but If I can have lots of little advice or opinions on which direction I could go it would be extremely helpful. Thx for the time if you read this till the end :D

I have a B.S. from a B&M school and am planning on transferring credits in to the CS program at WGU. I’m currently working on some of the pre-reqs that won’t transfer (like Calc I because it’s too old) and plan on enrolling around August when I’m done with that. Since I’m already trying to get out of my current job and change careers how can I list WGU on my resume? I don’t know how long it’ll take me so I can’t put expected graduation date. I want to demonstrate that I’m working towards something but I’m not going to have transcripts right now. What’s the best way to demonstrate this while being honest?

How has the job market changed in the last 10 years?
TLDR: The first 4 paragraphs are just my background. I think the only big relevant point is that I'm 28 with 10 years of work experience.
A little background, I'm 28 years old, have been in the workforce for roughly 10 years, took the long college route and graduated in 2020 with a liberal arts degree.
I had a little trouble finding a job post-graduation, it was defenetly time to part ways with my retail job. Wound up in sales and for the the first two years had a lot of fun, had good cash flow, and made some freinds/connections. However, the last year has been rough. A lot of factors have effected thr stability of my current job, and after long time thinking it over I decided it was time for me to leave direct sales.
I started looking at jobs about a year ago.I know I was being slow and too picky. Things were fine however, until december. I won't go into details, before then I was making enough to keep us afloat, then I wasn't.
Since January I've been very adamant about finding a new job, while keeping in mind both the salary that I'm looking for, and my experience. I've had the ups and downs of a job search, I'm sure you've all experienced it. Thankfully this week I have the third and final interview scheduled for a job that I feel thay I'm a good fit for, will work for both my needs, and where I want to take my career.
Here is where I'm baffled. I've been with my current company for 2 years, and my only coworker is 50 and has been with the company for over 10. They've been on and on for those two years about leaving the company but, hasn't made a single effotlrt to do so. Both myself and my manager have been on a job hunt for months, and have bith had a handful of interviews and assessments. Anytime we mention something about it my coworker casually mentions how they will "find something within a week of when they start applying".
Maybe it's shock, but are they just gullible? Am I? Is it just pride?
I feel the job market is a very turbulent right now. Ive had my fair share of pyramid schemes, and prospects that turned into nothing after I talked to the recruiter. I almost feel bad for my coworker, but I know it's not my job to take care of them.
It was hard enough for me to find a job with no work experience 10 years ago.

My husband and I are long-time Fidelity customers. This past weekend, I spoke with a Fidelity rep and applied to open a margin account. We would like to use a margin loan to put towards a down payment on a new house, pay off much higher interest credit card debt, and just basically have some extra short-term liquidity until my husband starts his new job. (I.e., we don’t plan to use it for trades or anything like that).
My question is, if Fidelity ends up giving us a margin loan, will Fidelity report it to the credit bureaus or will it otherwise affect our credit scores? My first inclination is to think no because it would be secured by the stocks in our joint brokerage account. But just thought I’d ask to satisfy my curiosity! Thank you!

Are you tired of having no one to discuss your triumphs and frustrations with? Would you like an awesome friendship that grows into a serious relationship? Want a cute voice messages and cuddles partner? If you answered yes to one or all of these, then keep scrolling!
GET TO KNOW ME:

1. My name is Mira. Everyone calls me this but my full name means princess.
2. I am a 5'5, ADHD functioning intelligent and intense African woman.
3. I love reading translated fiction, cooking and the terrifying aspects of the sci-fi genre.
4. The best description of my style and appearance would probably be 90s JCPenny catalog model meets intense hippie queen but with lots of sophisticated eyeliner, perfect lipstick and a dainty nose stud to match.
5. I am a cheery, considerate and sweet woman looking for somewhere to put all this love( because it's getting heavy)!
6. My last long term relationship ended platonically seven months ago and in that time, I've done all the mental/emotional heavy lifting required to be in a new and healthy relationship.

HELLO FUTURE FRIEND/PARTNER:

1. A sense of responsibility: I am looking for someone with a strong sense of responsibility. You are ideally a man who takes his words and actions seriously, like me... sorry short termers and flakes.
   
2. A great sense of humor: you are able to laugh at the silliest of situations, occasionally yourself and don't mind a woman who explains some of her jokes to you.
   
3. Attractive: Physical appearance is important for a good relationship, but I'm looking for someone who makes an effort with their health, hygiene and appearance.
   
4. An emotionally mature individual: I am hoping you are the kind of man who is too old and too mature for mind games and knows how to communicate his feelings. This means no passive aggressiveness, stonewalling or ending arguments in a tantrum.
   
5. Looking for a relationship/friendship: I would like to meet a man who is also ready to properly be in a relationship. Building a friendship first is good but I'm looking for a partner, not a chat buddy. Strictly in the market for a one woman man. Let's give each other cute nicknames and sign it on every cheesy thing we do.
   
6. Stability: I am currently juggling a job as an assistant with my goal of pursuing a masters' degree abroad early next year hopefully. Because of this, I am interested in a man who also enjoys his work and any hobbies. Let's learn from each other as much as possible.
   

BONUS POINTS:

1. Men with accents! I have been really into accents recently, with my favorites being Irish, Scottish, Scandinavian and really any others.
2. Distance is no obstacle: While I do not mind long-distance, I would also really like the goal of meeting sooner rather than not to exchange hugs, passionate kisses and compliments. I'd like to meet someone with a similar mindset.
3. You are white (umbrella term here so all welcome), Jewish, East Asian or South Asian I love men with beautiful eyes and a big smile.
4. You are older. I have been bitten by the bug and unfortunately only like men older than me even by a few years. Age is just a number but please don't be creepy or condescending.
5. You have a thing for women who are gentle natured, thoughtful, interesting and rubenesque (which is my favorite word currently, GOOGLE IT!)
6. You are intelligent, well travelled and an all round joy to be with.

Please tell me a bit about yourself with a picture of you attached. I look forward to your message and hope to build something amazing. XO

Caught red handed 3 days ago sneaking down to Padre TX with his ? (not sure) He (68) and I (female, 53) have been married for 14 yrs. While we've had some issues I never saw this one coming. I waited until he got on the island to inform him knew and he never skipped a beat! Been partying for 3 days now. We finally spoke 20 minutes ago and I honestly couldn't tell you who I was talking to as his whole demeanor has changed.
Make a long story short, he sais he'll be home Monday evening and apparently Im just supposed to greet him with open arms and we pretend this all never happened. Its a holiday weekend so getting in front of a judge to beg for any kind of an order to prevent him from entering the home is pointless. My only other option is to stand my ground I guess and try to negotiate with him. Get him to hold off a day or two till I can get the papers filed and maybe an order. Any other advice from anyone? Im thankful to take all the advice I can get right now.
This all is the condensed version of my troubles with him. To much to write about here although this has been therapeutic. Just to name a couple though, he's intentionally ruined my credit and tried to have sex with my clients.
In my head I CANNOT allow him back in the home. If I do it will never end and my doc has just recently placed me on high blood pressure meds. So there's that!
Thanks

About a month ago, I [19M]ran over a pothole on my way to work which destroyed my wheel and was fired from my job because I was late. I have no money saved up and was relying heavily on that one job for all of my living expenses. Repair cost for both a blown tire and cracked rim totaled at $350 which I clearly did not have. I have no one that can help me financially and family refused to help so my initial action was to sign up for unemployment and utilize it just long enough to pay for a repair and get a job.
Unfortunately, I was denied because I was fired for breaking protocol. I maxed out the only credit card I had to pay for rent and food. I missed both a credit card and car note payment which tanked my credit score making it impossible for me to get a loan or a cash advance(I know they’re the devil but I couldn’t think of anything better). I tried to sell everything I could but nothing sold for a whole month. I also live miles away from a job and there are no bus routes around me. I’m about to get evicted, my car will get repoed soon and my phone bill will go into collections. I have no hope for my future.
Can you tell me what I should do in this situation?

Greetings!
Firstly, I'm an avid DIYer but not an expert, nor structural engineer. Apologies for the long post and thanks in advance!
My nextdoor neighbour is having a new shed assembled (with a new concrete base) and garden repaved by builders who seem pretty clueless. I recently replaced the fence that separates our properties and when they told me they were planning on having the shed replaced I told them to make sure they deal with the landslip first. Their garden is about 4ft higher up than ours, the last couple of meters of wall is gradually falling away and in obvious need of repair. The old shed had sunk on the side by the dodgy wall.
The issue is that my lovely neighbours are very naive, they've got a builder to do the job and assumed he'd know what he's doing (he doesn't). He has poured a massive concrete base on top of the old mess despite the old retaining wall obviously failing. We have told him about this and he said it's fine, we can sort it out later. You can't, he's bodged the whole thing, the wall needed fixing first, then a /concrete foundation was needed. There is also a large void under the corner where the falling wall/landslip is, I only noticed this after their concrete bodge was laid, but they would've found this if they did a proper job the begin with.
There's been other issues with shoddy work (The base isn't level, they've screwed the shed base into the concrete to stop it wobbling, if it was level that wouldn't be necessary) I've related all of these issues to my neighbour and said she should go to trading standards.
Am I right in thinking the builder should have seen the obvious failing wall and landslip issue/old sinking shed and either got a structural engineer to advise, or, as I said, dig it all up, built a new, solid retaining wall and then laid a proper foundation? It seems to me like he's done a quick bodge that might last a year or so and then will fail and my neighbour will never hear from them again.
Also, this builder had a company that was "Dissolved via compulsory strike off" last June and immediately started a new one, under the same name...Doesn't look good, does it?
Would trading standards get involved? Would it be a case of going to court? I wouldn't trust the builders to fix their shoddy work, it'd be best to get their money back and get someone else in to do it... The builders are coming to finish off first thing Tuesday so there's no time to talk to trading standards before then.
Edit - We're in England.

Hello, I've been wondering for a long time if I was the only person who had to deal with this but now that I've found a fitting term I'm trying to reach out a little and maybe find someone who understands being the bystander of chaos for their entire life haha. For some background I'm 17, I had 3 older siblings from a previous marriage who I'll call M (oldest, 32 yo) C (about 29) and K (26, deceased) from the sake of ease. K began doing drugs at 13 and I never had a close relationship. He was violent and threatening, but rarely present at home so he was the least concerning in a way. He was imprisoned, threatened suicide a few times, and mooched off my grandma who is an enabler. He was killed this past year in an altercation at a bum park.
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M and I were very close as I was growing up, he lived at home a majority of my life and has ashergers and severe depression, as well as symptoms of schizophrenia. He had a psychotic break when I was too young to remember and aside from talking to me he was very reclusive. He eventually moved out and did very well managing a medicine delivery business for nursing homes. Then he met a girl who was involved and drugs and in an attempt to befriend her also began taking them. He lived with grandma for a while but was arrested and since then has been homeless and is completely out of his mind. It's also been found he has pedophilic and incestuous tendencies which concerns me greatly knowing he could've hurt me. (He didn't, as far as I know.)
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C and I weren't incredible close but I have good memories of her. She was somewhat functional most my life but had schizophrenia as well, when she was in her teens she started to lose her mind and would steal things and run away. She always dates incredibly dysfunctional men and is also you guessed it into drugs. (I don't recall everything she did mom and I only talked about it a little bit.). She dated a few different pos guys, ended up coming home 7 years ago after getting knocked up by an alcoholic boyfriend. She had my niece (N) and ended up living with us 2 years in which she antagonized me and caused me to be unable to have friends over. She moved out and for a while seemed to be doing well aside from a couple small incidents , getting a job as a nail tech. Two years ago she again got involved with drugs and completely ran away to the city with my niece. My parents gained custody of N, we are currently raising her. C got a beaten to the point of a brain injury, lived with us around 2 weeks during recovery, and has again run away. (When we were home alone thanks sis didn't terrify me at all). She is currently in prison but making steps toward rehab.
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This is a brief summary as I couldn't remember everything that happened. Yes I know it sounds unbelievable, I wish it was fake. Of course this has caused both my parents extreme stress and has been happening all my life. None of them accept help but take all their time. N also was traumatized by her mother and has behavior issues which take more attention away. I currently have a job and sometimes help my parents financially as they have also cost them immense amounts of money between rehabs, detox, etc. I feel I've been robbed of my teen years and am afraid to do anything that would add extra stress. My parents are also much stricter with me out of fear I'll repeat the pattern. I don't have many friends, and I worry that I've already matured faster than any peers I might later meet and will have no connection. I was always well behaved and still am, but I have missed out on a lot of experiences. I want to move out asap but I also feel guilty doing so. I forgot what my goal with this post is uh anyway there's your story.
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TL,DR: batshit on drugs .

I plan on hopefully keeping this car forever. It was my first car, and though I haven’t taken pristine care of it it’s sentimental lol. I’m daily driving it stock atm, but I’m putting fucking tons of miles on it for my job. Driving 50 miles to work, 50 miles back, and while working I spent the day driving around to appointments.
Bought the car a couple years ago at 28k miles, currently at 65.
I mean as long as money isn’t a concern, eventually when I’m not daily driving and I’ve also put some money into the car I can just engine swap right? And in that case what’re the best options when it comes to a swap?