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2018.05.21 00:31 Rude_E_Huxtable OK Marijuana

A place for Oklahoman patients to share Medical Marijuana news and knowledge. This is not an ad space. Please follow the rules.

2017.05.17 05:53 Milkpanda Advanced Asian Beauty

A sub dedicated to experienced/veteran AB users to discuss beauty brands, makeup, skincare, and product reviews from Asia. We also have PSAs about the latest products and sales.

2018.01.04 02:02 Valura Lockchain The First Hotel Booking & Vacation Rental marketplace With 0% Commissions Blockchain powered marketplace & Technology, where hoteliers and property owners can rent their property globally, collect money and manage bookings without paying any commissions to middlemen.

2023.05.28 18:43 Bnu98 How to find/make shops?

I've started DMing recently, using my own world I made, and we did a one shot the other dayas a "first taster" sorta deal. It went really well, but the players wanted a pitstop at a shop before leaving for the oneshot. I didn't have anything ready and kinda just told them to tell me what they're looking for and I'd tell them if the shop has the goods and its price. (quicky searching up the standard prices in the books as they asked)
So now that that session is done, I decided to search up shop lists planning to either use the lists I find whole sale, or tweak adding and removing some pieces. But I genuinley can't find anything that even slightly meets what I'm looking for. The idea is that the shop they went to is attached to / appart of the guild, and has a list of "bare essentials" for adventuring. I've struggled to find lists for large general shops to to fill out the city as well as that sort of bare essentials shop. Does anyone either have any tips of how to fill out the basic items in a shop or resources I can look at for filling up a shop?
(I don't have any issues filling out the flavour, themeings etc, just the actual items)
submitted by Bnu98 to DnD [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 18:33 Designer_Media_NW How to gauge the correct price to charge for my graphic design?

I hate the term, but I have a 'side hustle' designing menus, logos, graphics for 1 small restaurant. I used to work for them as a server and one day, helped the owner with some computer stuff and 5 years later, I'm responsible for all his menus, logos, adverts, etc. I have another proper unrelated job too.
I went off the simple model of $15 per hour + expenses (templates, stock images, etc). I'd kinda just make up a reasonable price after the work is done - owner would never ask for a quote and would never question the costs - I just assume it was a bargain regardless.
Recently, he referred to me another restaurant, but they aren't so 'easy' about it and as any creative knows - you get arbitrary requirements, have to spend ages figuring out something that'd work and then have to give them an attractive price.
Now, although I want the extra income, I don't want to undersell myself and end up hating this side gig - but similarly, I don't know what 'professional' companies charge - so I don't want to overprice myself.
submitted by Designer_Media_NW to Entrepreneur [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 18:32 Accomplished-Site992 Weirdest dream I’ve ever had

I just woke up from a dream that broke me. My dream started off my me being in some religion with arrows on our heads kinda like Aang and one of our people got captured and killed by these people made of all stone. So we start fighting them and beating them and we are actually winning the fight. Then the rock people said that if we don’t retreat then they will shoot light at us. After they said that this big long machine arrives and when it is warming up it has a small purple beam of light coming out. So I pick up and throw one of the rock people in, but one of my female friends who we have kinda had a thing going accidentally gets her arm in the purple beam and then it turns on and the purple is surrounding her and the rock person and she screaming for us to help her. It started in her arm they looked weak and like it was decaying then she fell to the ground and was just screaming don’t let me go, don’t let me go, and I’m just standing there shocked at what’s happening then a second later she goes quiet. And her body fully decays and all that’s left is her skeleton and her hair. Then I woke up and all i could do was hold my mouth open shocked at what I just witnessed, that was the worst most livid dream I’ve had. Looking back at it my dream was Crystal clear which never happens to me. Very weird dream.
submitted by Accomplished-Site992 to WeirdDream [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 18:25 a_man_and_his_box [FO4] Trying to solve a mystery, not getting ammo from gun pickups, and there are no loose guns in the world.

So I read this post:
And the long reply that goes with it. And my problem is: none of it works. The original guy saying you need to pick up the gun separately in order to get the clip worth of ammo -- nope, doesn't work for me. Importantly, I noticed it doesn't work because somehow in my game, there are no loose guns anymore. If anyone dies, their gun is melded to their hand, and cannot be manually picked up. No guns scattered on the ground after a fight. Instead, you have to go into the inventory menu for that body, and select the gun that way. And doing so does not give a clip's worth of bullets. It gives no bullets.
(To clarify, I can see the guns on the bodies, as I said the gun is held in the hand. However, it cannot be picked up or taken out of the hand, as it isn't loose on the ground like in my previous games. All guns are now "one with the corpse." The gun can still be taken by going to the body's inventory menu, but no ammo/clip comes with it.)
ALSO, the guy who replied to that post and said he tested it tons and works in various ways -- none of those ways work for me. I have no way to get clips of ammo. What am I doing wrong? I test on both my survival mode game, and a hard mode game. Neither game works, even with different characters.
I have a short mod list:
*HUDFramework.esm *StorageBot.esl *SimSettlements.esm *SettlementTidyBot.esl *Settler Sandbox Overhaul.esl *Faster Terminal Displays (20x).esp *Journey.esp *QuickTrade.esp *BTA_ForceOpen.esp *Scrap annoying things.esp *HoloTime_2.esp *Fog Remover II (AIO) Recommended w Dust-Leaves-Debris.esp *Fog Remover II (AIO) - Interior Fog Remover.esp *Companion Fall Damage Immunity.esp *PiperCaitCurieDialogueOverhaul.esp *Use Console Commands in Survival.esp *3DNPC_FO4Settler.esp *cVc Dead Wasteland 6.esp *cVc Dead Wasteland 6 DLC.esp *cVc Dead Wasteland 6 DLC2.esp *Quick Save.esp *FO4 NPCs Travel.esp *mso_sms.esp
Any ideas? What causes guns to meld to NPCs, and clips of ammo to be missing from guns when picked up? Thanks for any tips.
submitted by a_man_and_his_box to FalloutMods [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 18:19 Healthy_Pilot_6358 Combining houses with a family member? How to go about it so finances are fair

Hi, I’ve had a thought and my brain isn’t quite good enough how to work it out so I’m hoping you can help. If me, hubby and kid (12) sold our house (currently worth about £350-375k - about £99k left on mortgage) and my mum in law (71) sold hers which is worth about £375k with no mortgage. Could we buy a fab house and build an extension on the side for her to live in with us (technically her downsizing)? She has another son so we would need to be able to split something from the sale of her house evenly so it was fair to him too. Would that be half of the sale price of hers? What kind of priced house should we look at? what do we put in? What does she put in?I hope you get the jist of what I mean. She will then be close to look after when she gets old and plus we will have increased the house value when she eventually snuffs it…thanks for any help
submitted by Healthy_Pilot_6358 to UKPersonalFinance [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 18:08 SirCheeseAlot How could I turn my skills into something to make enough money to have a living wage?

I was abused and traumatized as a child. SO when I became an adult I just withdrew from society. I have always barely survived. Now I am over 40 and I have nothing, and my body has pain along with my mind. I have learned what is wrong with me mentally. I still need to work on it, but its a start.
I really dream of a simple life. Being able to have a quite safe place to live. Lots of plants around me. Maybe a few animals. A place to do arts and crafts. A green house and garden. A partner. I dont think Im asking for much, but it seems like I am asking for the moon.
I have actually developed a lot of skills, and Im decently intelligent, but fearful of people. Im good with computers. I can do 3d art and animation. I can use photoshop and lightroom. I enjoy stuff like obsidian, and rpgmaker. Im not great at coding. I do understand it a little.
Im good at design and building. I have made a lot of different stuff. I made the truck camper I am currently living in. I can fix things. I enjoy drawing and painting. I like crafts. I have created things in lots of mediums. I also spent a few years absolutely absorbed in photography.
I am decent at writing, and have studied psychology and philosophy. Mostly psychology. I ran a subreddit for over a year for people abused in childhood, and when I shut it down. Many people thanked me for making a difference in their life.
I guess I could keep going listing stuff for a while. My basic point is that I have useful skills, but how do I translate those into a living wage? How do I do this without being overwhelmed with socializing? How can I receive the healing help I need. When I am really struggling with my mental health and I live in a homemade camper all by myself?
It feels like I am so far from the starting line, and the clock is running out. It feels like if I could just have my basic needs met and a little safety and security, along with therapy. I could become a useful person to this world. Instead time just keeps slipping by and I dissociate to tolerate my existence.
submitted by SirCheeseAlot to Adulting [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 18:07 RPG_Guy93 Hardcore and Regular ironman rules discussion

I'm looking for players that want to team up and play tibia differently than we normally would. I've created some rules and regulations but am having a difficult time deciding on allowing myself to use the daily log in potions. Here's my list of rules and see what you think
  1. No market or trading other
  2. No offline training. All progress must be made by myself in game.
  3. No shops. Must obtain or make all supplies
  4. No sleeping in beds
  5. Houses can be used if the toon owns it
  6. Can use training weapons if purchased from store with gold earned in game
  7. 1 life
This is all I have right now but more will follow. I'm trying to create a challenge where I would have to learn and play the game in a different way. Let me know what you think about the daily potions and exercise weapons and if you would be interested in this.
submitted by RPG_Guy93 to TibiaMMO [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 18:05 neoskatalligator ExpressVPN Oculus Quest 2 Sale

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2023.05.28 18:05 ann-talks Depression support groups in Mumbai?

I've had anxiety for 2 years now and somewhere along the way I got into a depressive state. I finally decided to seek medical help when I was almost on the edge of it and pretty hopeless. Nothing I did to help myself seemed to work anymore. Went to see a psychiatrist and she immediately diagnosed me with depression and put me on meds (3 months to this now). It's been a difficult journey so far and I feel all alone even though I'm surrounded by people. I don't exactly have a solid support system because I tend to push my friends away from all this thinking that they won't really get what I'm feeling, not that they don't have the capacity to understand, but more like it's a feeling that wouldn't resonate and hence there's no point in sharing sort of a thing. So I really feel like I need to talk to people who have gone through depression/anxiety themselves. But I couldn't find any support groups where people actually meet up once in a while where they can really help/support each other and understand each other's problems in terms of physical symptoms, managing day-to-day, side effects of meds etc. So I want to know from you guys if there's any support group in Mumbai/Navi Mumbai. And if not, will anyone be interested to meet up physically if I arrange one in the coming weekend? You can DM me if this is something you want to be a part of.
submitted by ann-talks to navimumbai [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 18:02 Nerdy_Life My (f37) boyfriend (m46) had a nasty divorce with his ex-wife, How to Cope

TLDR; My boyfriend has drama with his ex wife and I’m being sucked into it via him trying to keep me out of it. How do I politely let him know I can fend for myself if she shows up? She moved into my apartment complex. Kids are involved.
Update: I’ve seen proof of the drama she creates with her asinine claims, including actual court documents. I’ve heard her call, and get why they use apps now. Also, he has full custody of one child for reasons I won’t dive into, but it also substantiates by boyfriend’s claims.
My(f37) boyfriend (m47) had a nasty divorce with his ex (f46) and it has left both with animosity. His rises in situations where me or the kids suffer. I’ve never met her. We’ve been together 2.5 years, including as the divorce was finalized. (It was dragged out for a while due to debates over custody.) They only communicate through an app that stores conversations to avoid sharing phone numbers and of course save the convos.
I have never met his ex. At some point it would appear she hired a PI to follow him. She found out he was coming to my complex. She is under the impression he lives here or is seeing someone here, with the latter being much more likely in her mind. We know she must have hired a PI unless someone randomly follower my bf to my complex. This happened about a year ago. I found out recently that she’s living in my complex, and likely has been for nearly a year. So she knew he was seeing someone here and decided that, despite this, she just had to live here.
He said she did it on purpose because she’s that spiteful.
Now there’s drama because they have 50/50 custody of their younger child (he has full of the older child), so sometimes when we all do something he needs to bring me home. We used to meet at the garage in another building but I needed to be dropped off specifically at my building. He was so afraid his child would narc on my building location that he pulled a u-turn and came up with a plan to prevent it.
He told me if she finds out where I live she’ll make my life hell. First she’ll befriend me then she’ll mess with me.
My take? I don’t care if she shows up? We are going to meet eventually and I need to have thick skin so I will. I just don’t know how to approach my bf. He’s so protective of my feelings in a good way but this situation is unnecessarily stressful.
submitted by Nerdy_Life to relationships [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 18:01 neoskatalligator Ps5 ExpressVPN Sale

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submitted by neoskatalligator to ElationOffers [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 17:58 TarquinOliverNimrod Anyone know resources to house my couple of cats for at least one month?

Not currently in Budapest I left there a couple of months ago to move back home for work. My SO is going away for one month (June) and we are seeking someone to oversee their care at their home for that month. All good, potential vet bills, litter and anything related to their care will be paid for by us. Please let me know. The cat hotel we normally utilise is 80k a week, which I don’t want to pay for a month just in principal lol, so if anyone knows anything that is reasonable please let me know!
submitted by TarquinOliverNimrod to budapest [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 17:58 Da_boss_babie360 Take a chance on a rising junior looking at engineering in a T20 school. Specifically UCLA, Berkely, and possiblely Ivy and Ivy+???

Intro, you can skip this part.
IWas wondering if y'all had any advice to improve, and overall just what your thoughts are on me!
I'll be putting my projected GPA for 11th and 12th grade, and will be going more conservative in that regard. So I'm going to assume B's in smth like AP Lang or French IV, for example.
So the website I'm using is "" to calculate my unweighted and weighted gpa. Each semester represents a year. And yes, I'm expecting 12th grade to have such high gpa, since it's all gonna be lab sciences (except for 1 which is an advanced humanities course, i put a B+ for that once even though it's prob an easy A, incase it's a hard class)
I believe for an A+ the calculator gives 4.33, and for honors courses it gives +.5 instead of +1. Whatever tho.
Gender: Male
Race: Indian
School: competitive to highly competitive private school
State: CA
Income: Enough where I won't be taking any loans or don't need any financial aid. Upper-middle to upper-bracket
Intended Major(s): Electrical Engineering, Mechanical Engineering, Comp Sci, etc. (I initially was deciding between med and comp sci, but i kinda vibing with comp sci more both personally and in aptitude, etc.)
SAT: I'm taking it next year junior year. 1480 on PSAT (750 M / 730 EW). Based on practice tests on SAT, planning to hit on the 1550-1600 ballpark
UW/W GPA and Rank: (No rank at my school)
Year 1 : 4.08/3.46 (Bad year lol)
Year 2: 4.42/3.67 (Bit better this year, humanities subjects are challenging, but the trend is upwards :) )
Year 3: 4.58/3.83
Year 4: 5.08/4.08 (All weighted college level courses)
Cumulative: 4.54/3.76
(Our GPA is actually pretty deflated. Our teachers are hard - the 11th graders only have 1 person who has a 4.0 UW GPA..., idk about my grade but I believe no one has)
Coursework: 9 Honors, (Counting Phys C as 1 course:) 10 AP Courses, 6 Post-AP courses (Multivar, Linear Algebra, Data Structures and Algorithms, some english thing idk, Modern Physics, )
AP Tests: (15 total tests) (ten 5's, four 4's, and a 3)
APCSA - 5, AP US Gov - 4
Projected Test Scores for courses I took this year: AP Bio - 5, AP Phys 1 - 5, APUSH - 4, AP CSP - 5, AP Calc AB - 5 and possibly a perfect score ngl.
Projected Test Scores for next 2 years: AP Phys 2 - 5, AP Phys C MEM - 5 & 5, AP World - 3, AP Stats - 5, AP Lang - 4, AP Calc BC - 5, AP Chem - 4
Awards (* Projected Awards): Don't wanna doxx myself so ima be vague
Oracle Certified Associate for Java, and Oracle Certified Programmer I (II this summer)Dell Boomi Certified too (this summer)
* USAPhO Silver at least, if not Gold
* National Merit (Have to wait till junior year)
* Grade 8 ABRSM, probably DipAB after
School Grand Integrator (Calc AB division)
* School Grand Integrator (Calc BC division)
(Graduated Kumon in 8th grade? Prob not gonna put this, but I consistently got rank <50. I mean idk if thats good tbh but hey its something)
[Probably will have more awards like other physics competitions, hackathons, etc. This is all I can think of right now, though]
ECs (* Projected ECs):
Martial Arts for about 10 years. Fully recreational. Competitions not allowed and discouraged in my martial arts school (* belt before black by application season)
Paid intern at internationally recognized software company and will work on cool stuff that will be implemented in medical companies and hospitals
Essentially started my school student council, led it for the past 2 years, definitely gonna hold the spot for the next cycles. - Organized lots of events, and working to spread us on a more inter-school level. (Spent over 15 thousand dollars for school events and such)
Started the STEM Tutoring Club. Regularly lead and teach there
* Starting an organization for student-student teaching.
* Also starting an organization for students to more easily volunteer for the community, making volunteering more accessible
< ^ Definitely going to continue these orgs even after high school>
* Research Paper on taking an IB final project topic from 2009-2010 that was used as our AP Calc Final Project, and expanding it using software to simulate stuff. Very cool. Teacher connecting me to researchers interested... o.o. Writing a paper on it.
Do cool hardware/software project and will write a paper on it. I don't really want to say too much on that, but it'll be hella cool.
Hooks: Anti-hook - I'm indian.
- Old Math Teacher and future physics wrote a killer one (I heard) for my internship. Can expect same for college ones
- Current Math Teacher taught for longer than my life, 3 times over, and said I was one of her brightest students. She gave a great one apperantly for internship as well.
- One of our admins who heads Clubs and Activities is a very holistic person, and I can confidently say the letter she can write to colleges (like she already did, again, to the internship) will be comprehensive and detailed. Very assured she'll write great things for college.
- I also have an interesting relationship with my english teacher. Taught me since 7th garde, knows how I've grown in an area I'm pretty bad in. And he's an english teacher. Probably will be a good one.
Chancing LORs aren't rlly reliable tho, so i'll give my chancing for LOR as "above average"
List: T25, Georgia Tech as an out-of-state, UC Berkely/LA, yk the usual. UCLA would be pretty fun to get into. UT Austin is also on the table definitely since I like the place.
Idk I don't like spending my life running on the tails of colleges, I want to develop as a person and have a strong connection with my fam. So I probably won't do crazy things that take too much of my time. Most of my effort is gonna be martial arts, the fam, and my own personal growth.
Essays: Probably will write em well. I have some unique ideas with my crazy life experiences lol. Drafted some and have good feedback.
submitted by Da_boss_babie360 to chanceme [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 17:58 Houmouss Who is Henri Accès ?

I recently got interested in french LGBT+ history because I'm french and I was curious about who were the important LGBT+ figures in France (especially the gay men and trans people because I'm gay and trans).
I was reading a Wikipedia article about the LGBT+ history in France, and I saw something :
"Dorchen Richter et d'autres personnes trans telle que la peintre danoise Lili Elbe ou le français Henri Accès font l'objet de portraits enthousiastes dans la presse française des années 1930" (in the "années 20 et 30" section).
Here it is translated in english (by me) :
"Dorchen Richter and other trans people like the danish painter Lili Elbe or the french Henri Accès are the subjects of enthusiastic portraits in the french press/newspapers of the 30s".
The thing is : of course I know who Lili Elbe is, and you can easily find out who Dorchen Richter is. However, no matter how much I search, I don't find anything about "Henri Accès". It almost makes me feel like I misunderstood the sentence (even if it's my mother language and idk how I could have misinterpreted it), or like it's a fake news made by some troll on Wikipedia.
However, if it's not a troll, I know that Henri Accès was probably a trans man because :
  1. In french, every word is gendered. Here, the "french" before "Henri Accès" was masculine, which means that this person is a man (or non binary ?).
  2. Henri is a very masculine name in France. For one moment I thought it could have been a trans woman who decided to keep her birth name, but again, they have gendered "french" in masculine in the article, so it would make no sense.
And honestly, I would be so happy to find a french trans man like me who existed at the time, and I don't want to give up until I either know who he is or be 100% sure it's a troll.
So : who is Henri Accès ? Do you have any info about this supposed trans person ?
submitted by Houmouss to lgbthistory [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 17:56 Pretty_Gap4105 Really need to know what's actually going on cause I'm so confused

So this is my 4th pregnancy I'm 28f and I've had a really hard time sleeping. It doesn't help that my partner 32m demands the tv be on whilst he sleeps as it makes it harder for me. He wears my face mask because like me he can't sleep with lights on. (Which in return why does he want to sleep with the tv on) I've been so tired getting between 4 to 6 hours sleep a night and then getting up with the kids at 6 every morning and doing the school runs. I'm a little bit behind on washing and my house does need cleaned but it's not extremely bad, there's nothing laying around other than some kids toys the dishes are done every night and morning and everyone has clean clothes to put on so it's not that bad. I'm normally good at getting the house work done everyday. But I'm just so tired. Last night I only had 2 hours sleep (i tried turning the tv of thinking he was asleep and he got up and asked why i turned the tv. So i said because he was asleep and weating a eyemask and he said "so" qnd turned the tv on and then turned it up louder). My partner has got mad that I didn't want to go to his sisters for dinner. But I'm pretty sure she'll understand I don't want to when I need sleep. I have still done the dishes and been with the kids all day until my partner got back home from work. (He only used to work 4 days a week and now works all week and weekends) I'm waiting for results about my iron levels. I'm currently being treated for an infection. My varicose veins in my legs are hurting (and the doctors are going to see if i need blood thinner throughout my pregnancy as im at a high risk of bloodclots) my feet are swallon and my hip is stretching out which is all causing discomfort. Now I cant help but feel like everything I've just wrote has been completely ignored by my partner and just wants an excuse to be mad at me. He literally told me I wasn't tired I'm just a lazy c**t that does nothing all day. Until recently he was actually amazing. I would get to have a lay in on the weekends on one day and he would get the lay in the next and if he saw I needed help around the house he would do it with no complaint, he would come home from work and tidy up and tell me to sit down cause I've been with the kids all day and would make me a cup of tea but we would do it together anyway cause i felt bad that he worked and really appreciated the help and never wanted to take it for granted. He does help with the bed times every single night and that has never been inconsistent. He would sit there and want to spend time with me every night and really make the effort to make me feel special and all of a sudden its all stopped and hes just moody with me all the time. And to add to the context a bit more he has starting to be distant. I do whatever to make him happy. I'm intimate when he wants to be. I've always made the effort to make sure I'm well presented my makeup and everything. I don't ever ask him for a penny but he will put money towards the house for food and a little extra for other costs. I work hard at dealing with everyone in the house and now I feel like because I've slacked it's a problem.
submitted by Pretty_Gap4105 to AskMenAdvice [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 17:56 neoskatalligator Lg Tv Vpn Netflix Sale

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2023.05.28 17:54 _dandelion_wine_ Interactions escalating?

tw: gaslighting, emotional abuse, narcissism
The more I learn about this the stranger my relationship with this person gets. Love-bombing for half the week and chaos the last half. It seems even when I play by the dude's rules I am still doing something wrong!
In the journey to prove myself as sane to my abuser I found a lot out about myself. Particularly that I have ptsd among other health issues and that I somehow find myself drawn to narcissistic people (not anymore !!) I have been meditating for the past 100 days and have begun edmr therapy. I feel like I am emerging from the cave this abuse has caused me to hide in.
My therapist has been teaching me about communication styles, how to identify them, and what they are for. He acted each one out with me with a simple question "Hey where do you want to go to lunch?". As he went through each communication style, I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach, particularly when he explained the passive-aggressive tactic. Since learning this, I understand why I have been so sad/anxious this past year. My abuser very rarely escalates conversations but also never finishes them/ends with the silent treatment. We moved to a new state together and while I have tried to meet friends, I only know people here in a professional sense. I have been doubting myself for months bc of all the gaslighting and it has done a number on my self esteem.
He weaponizes every emotion I have, even the good ones. I started apologizing for feeling excitement but these days I don't feel excitement anymore. Now that I am able witness this emotional and psychological abuse happening I try to put up boundaries and what I am noticing is what concerns me. I read on the internet that it would get worse when trying to meet halfway with a narcissist. I am seeing my partner go from more covert traits to overt. He is reminded me of the abuser in my life who did use physical violence. Yesterday he broke the computer keyboard, almost broke the front door when I accidentally locked it, yelled at me about me. Wouldn't stop yelling. I locked myself in the bedroom and fell asleep.
I have become empowered with information about this, other tools, and communities like this but am worried that something unexpected may happen. I spend my days trying my best to not disassociate but sometimes when faced with this abuse I just disappear for awhile (yay ptsd from other narcs!).
I currently cannot drive (insert other health issues) and my neighborhood isn't very commuter friendly so I spend most of my time at home.
I have an opportunity to leave this place/this relationship in a couple of months and it involves moving halfway across the country. I am worried about spending the next couple of months with this person. Especially as I am gaining more knowledge and he seems to hate me more for it. Is there anything I should or should not do? I am trying to be a more assertive person, in control of my life, and love myself more and my narc partner acts as if that all is disgusting. How do I stay grounded???
submitted by _dandelion_wine_ to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 17:45 murtto My Insecurity Is Hurting My Relationship (Turkish- 26M) When My Long-Distance GF(Japanese- 22F) Went On a Trip With Her Friends

This is also a bit like AmIThe*sshole because I feel like I am ruining her trip but I am going to write down the whole story, even the previous ones. Please tell me what can I do better because I love her a lot and I know that she does too. She is the perfect partner for me(I think) and other than the fights we have when she is on a trip, we rarely ever fight.
Me(26M) and my girlfriend(22 F) have been dating for 10 months, she is Japanese and I am Turkish. I live in Turkey. I use Japanese to communicate as it was my major so not many problems with the language but definitely some because of the cultural difference. We met in Japan when I was doing my exchange and now I will most likely be able to move there in a few months. She is currently doing her own exchange in Australia.
Whenever she goes traveling, she is the type to not message much but expects the opposite from me whenever I go. If I stay at a friends, I talk to her everyday for at least an hour and message a lot. When I don't she either tells me sarcastically "is it that fun for you to be around this girl/guy that you forget me ?" Or just "I miss your voice", which I am both fine with honestly. If the amount isn't enough for her and I can increase, I will talk to her more just so she feels safe and at ease. This time I was the one that initiated the fight and she is not really talking to me right now.
She is now traveling with 2 of her friends to New Zealand. They are all Japanese and one is a guy. This guy, I do not really like because he talks bad about his girlfriend around other girls(this is what my gf told me) and I see it as a way to gain sympathy and I am wary of him. Whenever she is with this guy, she doesn't message me much but when she is with other girls, she can even call me on the phone when they are around. But very rarely with this guy. She says it is rude to talk to me or message me much when she is with other people so when she calls it has to be after they sleep or message me only twice-thrice during the day when the opportunity arises. This might be me overthinking too.
Now They are staying together at an airbnb type hotel, guy one room girls one room. She didn't message me much during the day, sent two photos with two messages related to them but I saw a lot more photos of a lot more places on her stories and told her that I wanted her to send me some like that. She didnt see my messages, it was around 8 pm. Then on her friends story I realized that they were drinking. I waited until 0 am but since there was no contact I called her twice. No reply. called her friend, my gf returned my call and asked what is up. I, very rudely, said that "I am sad and now I do not want to talk to you". I am wrong but she said that her drinking without no contact wouldn't happen and if I could, I could contact her friend if I can't reach her. We close the phone call, no message until 3 am. I am feeling nervous and bad, I ask her why she is not keeping her promises with me by writing a long message. The promises I will talk about on the next paragraph. At this point I start to feel like I am just a person talks to when she doesn't want to be alone.
She made me three promises on unrelated stuff this month but none of them she kept. She said that she would help me prepare for my interview after I asked her and she insisted that we do this as soon as we can, then she forgot. She even wished me good luck on the interview, forgetting that she wanted to help me. I made her remember at the last minute and then she decided to help saying sorry. She told me that she wanted to buy me a perfume for my birthday and had me order it before hand but even after 2 weeks passed she didn't pay for it. I reminded her this, but she said that she didn't forget. I told her that it is fine if she doesn't, her finances might have changed and that she just needs to tell me. Since I don't have much money because of Turkish Lira right now, I feel like I would have appreciated if she either kept her promise or just tell me sorry that she can't do it now. She also promised me that she would call me when she can on her trip and message me more often compared to the ones before.
She now doesn't want to talk to me, take her time. Her friend who I called and messaged(4 messages, 4 unanswered calls at the time), is also ghosting me. I apologized to both of them but not really any other messages I received. My GF is saying that this is the best she can do, she has done her best but cant put more work into messageing or calling me on a trip because it would be disrespectful to her friends.
A bit more background: She went to another trip before with the same friends and a few more and I would get almost no messages or calls during the whole trip. I got mad because when I went on a trip with a lot of people I called her morning and night with a lot of messages in between but she got mad at me, cried on the phone, saying that I had promised to not make her feel alone when I am at the trip. I thought that she was contradicting herself. We fought and reconciled after a time. She said that she was wrong when I was on the trip that time and forgot how easy it is to get caught up in the moment. She had also decided to come to Turkey once, then bailed out and went to Los Angeles thinking that it would be safer than coming here. There she didn't communicate much but was better than the previous trip. She went to her girl friend who is also doing an exchange. Then she said that she would also go to Europe with her next semester which made me sad and angry because I felt like she could also afford coming to Turkey if she can go on trips this much and I was sad that she didn't even consider that. Then after having a very bad experience in America because of her friend she said that she was sorry and should've thought better. She said she wanted to come to Turkey of course but maybe on the way back from Europe or she would tell me only when it was decided because she didn't want to disappoint me my not being able to come to Turkey again.
In general, we rarely ever fight. No other problems regarding communications, we talk and try to understand each other a lot but I am afraid that, maybe my paranoia or insecurity has gotten the best of me and I am losing her.
TLDR; Long Distance gf is on a trip, a guy I dont like is also there in the same hotel. She doesn't tell me that they are drinking and doesnt contact me at all into the night, I panic try to contact her, it takes a long while but when I can I then brush her off. I now regret it, I am trying to communicate with her but I might have f'ked up.
I want to do better because I love her and I don't want to lose her and I ask your advice on what is the best to do.
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2023.05.28 17:34 6201947358 [WTS] Grimsmo Rask & Grimsmo Saga - Purple Pair
Grimsmo Rask #606
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