Let me be the first to welcome you to the MotheOffspring, Nurturing/Support, Teaching/Education Resource Network, or? M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery. My name is Sassy, short for Sasquatch. Yes, THAT sasquatch. Are there other kinds?! I'm a HCC (Healthcare Cryptid) here at the nursery. I also teach humans the survival basics of coming across a baby monster in the woods.
Anyhoo, you're probably wondering why Sasquatch are utilized as Labor and Delivery nurses. It's simple, really. We're natural born mothers. You see, we just love babies! We always have! All of that nonsense about whooping, tree knocking and vocalizations that we do in the woods when you guys are camping? Don't get scared! That's just us shouting out to our boys letting them know we have humans in the woods! Humans could possibly have a BABY with them. Now, I don't like to judge based on looks, but those bald human babies are so ugly? They're cute! Poor little things look like they have mange, though. Who would think a bald puppy is cute? Ew.
I digress. So, when it came to the M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery? We were the natural choice. Even though I happen to be female? History tells us that male nursery nurses happen to have the best bonding with our little devils. Well, little devils and whoever else was born that day. Just look at Chewy over there bonding with that litter of werewolf pups born on the last full moon. He's so maternal? He's practically a breast.
Now, all babies are not created equal. Have you ever wondered which monster's baby is the loudest? I can promise you that you'd rather listen to that werewolf pup litter any day over being 5 minutes late with Baby Siren Head's bottle. I had a headache for a week. When Vlad and Countess Bathory had their little undead bundle of joy last month? You'd be surprised how quick a Bigfoot can prick and milk their finger to get a fresh bottle of nutritious blood for that adorable, pale little parasite. He definitely had a healthy appetite, especially if you were B positive. Vlad and Countess Bathory couldn't have been happier. Patient satisfaction has always been a priority for HCCs (Healthcare Cryptid) since day one! We've never gotten below a 5 on the Jack Link's scale of 0 - 5 jerkies. We are collectively very proud of this fact! It's such an accomplishment for Bigfoot and all of Sasquatch kind.
Okay, I could understand why you think we're a little full of ourselves. I, mean, when Sasquatch are the chosen ones to be the top requested HCC? It's a far fall to the 2nd position. Look, we can't all be God's Chosen Ones. Yes, he exists. Yes, he created us. You're getting distracted, again. We aren't all going to argue semantics on what is Creationism and what is Darwinism and all of that. I'm too busy trying to teach incompetent, um cough cough, INTERESTED humans how to provide the most basic care for any creature's neonates (medical term for newborn) that they might stumble across while enjoying hiking, camping, fishing, etc. The priority? The newborn. Additional concerns?
1) MotheFather finding humans around newborn and attacking them.
2) Humans treating the scenario like an episode of "Jack Ass" and thinking it's a good idea to "mess with" the newborn and? Again? Mom/Dad attacks them.
3) Basically? A human breathing will set Mom/Dad off. Most creatures just don't want humans around. They can't be trusted. Sorry, Guys. It's been that way every since you refused to credit Chewy in the '67 Patterson–Gimlin film.
So? Your first reaction, if you see a baby creature? Look for it's parents. If you see them? Run. Run fast. Like, put Forrest Gump to shame kinda runnin'. Those parents don't want you there for any reason at all. Pick 'em up and put 'em down the whole way back down the trail.
If you don't see the parents? Proceed slowly and with caution. Now, don't let everything I've said scare you into not helping a baby monster. They're babies, after all. Please, check on them. Just be aware of your surroundings so as not to frighten the wood creatures which will, in turn, attack you. Then? It's just a bad day for everyone involved.
So? Depending on the woodland creature? You'll want to know what action you need to take to help the baby and? Hopefully? Survive assisting. The first thing you'll want to do is call out/whistle, whatever you have to do to try to get someone's attention. Look around and listen. What do you see and hear? If it's nothing? Again, proceed with caution. If you hear howling, growling, tree knocking, whooping, any of these things? Leave, either their parents are still around or we're there and will then takeover. I know. It's confusing to try to tell when we're tree knocking hoping you have a baby with you or if we know there's a baby around and we don't want you around the baby. Really, if at all possible, just don't mess with the babies if you don't have to. With that having been said? Let's proceed!
As you cautiously approach? Keep making noise letting everyone know you're there. We don't want to scare the life, or afterlife, out of these little ones. They're at their most vulnerable right now. Let's use Chewy's patients today as an example. You traipse along and stumble over a werewolf den. Well, that's not something you see every day. You hear soft whimpering. About 4 or 5 little werewolf pup heads pop up out of the den. How's everyone looking? Is anyone hurt? No? Then check your supplies. It just so happens you were successful fishing earlier. Werewolf pups love fish almost as much as moonbathing and cutting their baby teeth on a human femur. They'll be thankful, the Alpha male and female will be thankful and you'll really be thankful. You get to walk away, karma and limbs intact.
Next? It would be highly likely that you'd come across a wendigo, skinwalker, rake slenderman, etc. besides just a litter of werewolf pups. Try to prepare yourself as much as possible for these encounters. The better prepared? The better off everyone will be. The best part? These creatures won't want your everlasting soul in infancy. Those challenges don't present until adolescence. So? Enjoy the respite for the moment. Now? No matter what the situation? You'll always want to approach with caution and announce your arrival. It's saved not only many a human? It's saved a lot of cryptids as well. Try to have some sort of food item on you that's rather filling. You'd prefer that over them making YOU the food item.
So, as we proceed down the trail, there's a cabin to the left and it's the last house but do not enter, please. The last good hearted Samaritan did and, well, let's just say he had a run in with a girl locked in the cellar who wasn't quite herself. That's probably about the most PC way of explaining demonic possession. Anyhoo, there was bad press for a year and visitors to the park fell off, it just was a big mess. They ended up doing some kind of cybernetic enhancement and now the good Samaritan has a chainsaw for an arm. He's done a great job keeping them all in line. Overall? That was one we got right.
Since I brought up Vlad and the Countess Bathory's bouncing little bundle of bloodsucker? It's important to know that if you are in your domicile, and R.V.'s count, vampires cannot enter without an invitation from you. So, if you are camping in your R.V. and someone comes knocking late at night? Don't answer. If they aren't a vampire? They can come back the next day. If they don't come back? You definitely made the right decision. Now, the problem is? If you encounter a vampire in the wild. Hopefully? They've already set their sights on whoever they picked that night to be their victim. If not? A dropper of Holy Water as perfume on either side of your neck is a nice deterrent. Again, if the little count is there by himself? He's clearly gotten away from the castle. He needs returned immediately. Go to the nearest tree that displays a "break in case of emergency" box. Break the glass, take the bag of beef jerky out, shake it. Every Sasquatch in a 5 mile radius will come running to you. Point the baby vampire out and we'll be glad to take it from there.
Something I should bring up to our do-gooders ready to risk it all: if you can't swim? Don't try to help aquatic creatures. It won't end well. It never does. Little fry just aren't acclimated to landlubbers. Merpups are tough for even us to handle. They get scared, you can't swim, bad things happen. So? If you're determined to help any baby monster no matter where they reside? Take swimming lessons. You'll thank me. Trust me on this.
Don't let the fae trip you up, either. They're mischievous. They'll also try to sneak a changeling in on you if you do bring your human babies to the forest. If you respect walking around fairy rings and respect mother nature? The fae shouldn't be an issue. If you don't? Well, you were warned.
So, what have we not covered? Flying creatures. Yes, they present a challenge even we Sasquatch find difficult. It's hard to assess the needs of a baby that's wrapped in the arms of a mother flying 75 feet above your head. Even though the task is daunting? It's a challenge we'll definitely take on. We just watch and wait for Mom to go on the hunt and we take a peak at that tiny little velociraptor in that nest, with it's mouth hanging wide open, just awaiting a morsel. Now, the Mothman's baby was an experience. Cocoons are just something you have to see for yourself, especially when they're 6 feet tall. It's truly fascinating!
I think that covers everything for today's lesson. Bear in mind, we're beginning the summer season here in the U.S. Encounters are going to increase between cryptids and humans so be aware and care when it comes to our babies. We're aware and care when it comes to yours. Stay safe and Sasquatch on!

Quick question concerning DL SOS...
I expressed my interest of completing SOS online to my commander. I plan on leaving active duty towards the end of 2024, and I just got back from a deployment and my oldest had a really hard time with my absence, so as a mother (not necessarily an officer), completing SOS online is the best option for my family. My squadron commander is 100% supportive, but leadership at the next level is pressuring me to attend in-res ASAP.
Anyhow, I got info on DL SOS and applied...my application got approved, so I thought I was G2G. I figured my name would be taken off the SOS in-res list now that I'm working on it online.
However, when going back over the requirements, I realized that I completely misread them. It said that active duty LAF captains are prohibited from enrolling until they've reached 7 years TAFCS. I originally read it to mean total military service, not commissioning. I have over 6 years of commissioned time, but over 9 years total military time (prior enlisted).
Before I talk to my commander, I guess my question is, will this cause a huge issue? Does anyone know of any waivers to take the DL option before the 7 year mark?

I started 5mg twice a day in May 4th. Then went up to 15mg twice a day on May 24th. So I’ve been on Buspar for five weeks total, but on the current dosage for two weeks. I’m seeing a bit of improvement, but not enough to not be miserable half the time. Does he timer start over every time I increase my dosage? Or has it gotten into my system enough that I should be feeling better by now?

So, I've been researching a lot during these last months, and I would like to share what I think with you.
I have realised that a loooot of misinformation is going around. So how about we see what Se TRULY is?
Extraverted Sensing is the perception of the concrete external reality. Let's breakdown this. First of all, Se is a PERCEIVING function. It does not assign value. Se does not determine if the perceived object is "good" or "bad" or "exciting". Assigning a value is the role of the judging functions. Se is also an extroverted function. It only perceives stuff in the external world. Aka, everything that is not tied to the subject. And it is concrete. But that does NOT mean Se deals only deals with the physical, sensory stuff. What does all of this mean then?
To simplify, I am going to describe Se in its purest, most extreme form, and deprived from interactions with other functions. But please, keep in mind that no human being could use Se in such a way. It's just to give you an overview.
Se is a sensing function. So it does not "guess" like intuition. There are no possibilities or things under the surface. Not because Se "denies their existence", but simply because it does not make assumptions or generalise. Se is an objective function. It's detached from the subject (the person who is perceiving). It's like "distant 3rd person narration". It perceives the object, without filters, without "guessing", just as it is. And it does not only deal with physical stuff, but also with ideas, concepts and systems. Like for example, color theory. How?
Reminder: I am using extremes. Like if functions existed in a vacuum.
While Ne might perceive this idea and connect it with X and Y and Z, Se wouldn't do that. It would instead focus on the details to form an "UHD vision". It does not guess or tie the idea to the subject.
Another example: a Se dom might not want to guess what happens next in a movie, because they know the screenwriters might subvert tropes. Instead they would examine the details and just focus on what is happening right now.
So, you get the gist: Se doms are the "ultimate realists" to generalise.
Now: the SteReOTypes!

• High Se makes you good at sport OR aware of your surroundings OR gives you good reflexes: completereflexes.
  
• High Se makes you reckless: Ok, there's kind of a correlation. Se doms tend to be less cautious than IxxJ.
  
• Se doms are more in the present: This one is pretty much true. But not always in the stereotypical sense.
  

I didn't give any arguments while discarding/keeping stereotypes, right? It's your turn now. Try to justify my statements!

I’m planning a trip for two of my buddies and I have heard great things about both aventura and cabana bay. I’m looking for the better view. I know cabana has volcano view does aventura have something like this(I know some aventura rooms can see everything)? Which view is better in your opinion?

However, the entire area surrounding it is run down. We are talking, homes that look like crack houses, and homeless people walking back and forth.Would you add additional safety features for guests, like lights in the street etc especially knowing that a family is coming?
I rented a home a few days ago. Drove a few hours with my spouse and 1 year old. We were stuck in traffic so we arrived after dark. It was supposed to be a birthday surprise for my husband and boy, was it!!! Unbeknownst to us, this area is very run down. You can’t tell by the listing though. (Great job Host!! 🥴)
We drove through the area and I’m saying to myself “haha this is not the area it’s a joke, we have to be lost!?” Then we pull up to the house and yes it’s pretty, but surrounding it , there’s homes that are boarded up and falling apart. They looked like the house from Barbarian Movie, I shit you not!! People (homeless) walking through the street. Trash and beer cans all over the grass- across the front door. My husband parks in the pitch black front of the house, gets out and has me wait with the baby. Soon as he gets out of the car, a bum comes speed walking up to him asking for stuff!!! My husband gets back in the car, we did not even make it to the door to go inside. Who can trust offloading their vehicle in a situation like that, even considering that we had our gun, but who wants trouble!? WE LEFT. F**k that. Boy did I feel terrible for trusting this listing. I understand that hosting is a business, clearly. But at what point does your humanity supersede your greed. This weekend could have dangerously ended SO badly.

My in-laws will be visiting DC for the first time next fall. They would like to take some guided tours of the city, but would prefer to have them to be in Cantonese (their first language). Google just shows me tours of Chinatown when I try to search Cantonese language tours, or very rarely a MANDARIN language tour, neither of which is what I want. Does anyone have any leads on where I can find something for them?

Let me be the first to welcome you to the MotheOffspring, Nurturing/Support, Teaching/Education Resource Network, or? M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery. My name is Sassy, short for Sasquatch. Yes, THAT sasquatch. Are there other kinds?! I'm a HCC (Healthcare Cryptid) here at the nursery. I also teach humans the survival basics of coming across a baby monster in the woods.
Anyhoo, you're probably wondering why Sasquatch are utilized as Labor and Delivery nurses. It's simple, really. We're natural born mothers. You see, we just love babies! We always have! All of that nonsense about whooping, tree knocking and vocalizations that we do in the woods when you guys are camping? Don't get scared! That's just us shouting out to our boys letting them know we have humans in the woods! Humans could possibly have a BABY with them. Now, I don't like to judge based on looks, but those bald human babies are so ugly? They're cute! Poor little things look like they have mange, though. Who would think a bald puppy is cute? Ew.
I digress. So, when it came to the M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery? We were the natural choice. Even though I happen to be female? History tells us that male nursery nurses happen to have the best bonding with our little devils. Well, little devils and whoever else was born that day. Just look at Chewy over there bonding with that litter of werewolf pups born on the last full moon. He's so maternal? He's practically a breast.
Now, all babies are not created equal. Have you ever wondered which monster's baby is the loudest? I can promise you that you'd rather listen to that werewolf pup litter any day over being 5 minutes late with Baby Siren Head's bottle. I had a headache for a week. When Vlad and Countess Bathory had their little undead bundle of joy last month? You'd be surprised how quick a Bigfoot can prick and milk their finger to get a fresh bottle of nutritious blood for that adorable, pale little parasite. He definitely had a healthy appetite, especially if you were B positive. Vlad and Countess Bathory couldn't have been happier. Patient satisfaction has always been a priority for HCCs (Healthcare Cryptid) since day one! We've never gotten below a 5 on the Jack Link's scale of 0 - 5 jerkies. We are collectively very proud of this fact! It's such an accomplishment for Bigfoot and all of Sasquatch kind.
Okay, I could understand why you think we're a little full of ourselves. I, mean, when Sasquatch are the chosen ones to be the top requested HCC? It's a far fall to the 2nd position. Look, we can't all be God's Chosen Ones. Yes, he exists. Yes, he created us. You're getting distracted, again. We aren't all going to argue semantics on what is Creationism and what is Darwinism and all of that. I'm too busy trying to teach incompetent, um cough cough, INTERESTED humans how to provide the most basic care for any creature's neonates (medical term for newborn) that they might stumble across while enjoying hiking, camping, fishing, etc. The priority? The newborn. Additional concerns?
1) MotheFather finding humans around newborn and attacking them.
2) Humans treating the scenario like an episode of "Jack Ass" and thinking it's a good idea to "mess with" the newborn and? Again? Mom/Dad attacks them.
3) Basically? A human breathing will set Mom/Dad off. Most creatures just don't want humans around. They can't be trusted. Sorry, Guys. It's been that way every since you refused to credit Chewy in the '67 Patterson–Gimlin film.
So? Your first reaction, if you see a baby creature? Look for it's parents. If you see them? Run. Run fast. Like, put Forrest Gump to shame kinda runnin'. Those parents don't want you there for any reason at all. Pick 'em up and put 'em down the whole way back down the trail.
If you don't see the parents? Proceed slowly and with caution. Now, don't let everything I've said scare you into not helping a baby monster. They're babies, after all. Please, check on them. Just be aware of your surroundings so as not to frighten the wood creatures which will, in turn, attack you. Then? It's just a bad day for everyone involved.
So? Depending on the woodland creature? You'll want to know what action you need to take to help the baby and? Hopefully? Survive assisting. The first thing you'll want to do is call out/whistle, whatever you have to do to try to get someone's attention. Look around and listen. What do you see and hear? If it's nothing? Again, proceed with caution. If you hear howling, growling, tree knocking, whooping, any of these things? Leave, either their parents are still around or we're there and will then takeover. I know. It's confusing to try to tell when we're tree knocking hoping you have a baby with you or if we know there's a baby around and we don't want you around the baby. Really, if at all possible, just don't mess with the babies if you don't have to. With that having been said? Let's proceed!
As you cautiously approach? Keep making noise letting everyone know you're there. We don't want to scare the life, or afterlife, out of these little ones. They're at their most vulnerable right now. Let's use Chewy's patients today as an example. You traipse along and stumble over a werewolf den. Well, that's not something you see every day. You hear soft whimpering. About 4 or 5 little werewolf pup heads pop up out of the den. How's everyone looking? Is anyone hurt? No? Then check your supplies. It just so happens you were successful fishing earlier. Werewolf pups love fish almost as much as moonbathing and cutting their baby teeth on a human femur. They'll be thankful, the Alpha male and female will be thankful and you'll really be thankful. You get to walk away, karma and limbs intact.
Next? It would be highly likely that you'd come across a wendigo, skinwalker, rake slenderman, etc. besides just a litter of werewolf pups. Try to prepare yourself as much as possible for these encounters. The better prepared? The better off everyone will be. The best part? These creatures won't want your everlasting soul in infancy. Those challenges don't present until adolescence. So? Enjoy the respite for the moment. Now? No matter what the situation? You'll always want to approach with caution and announce your arrival. It's saved not only many a human? It's saved a lot of cryptids as well. Try to have some sort of food item on you that's rather filling. You'd prefer that over them making YOU the food item.
So, as we proceed down the trail, there's a cabin to the left and it's the last house but do not enter, please. The last good hearted Samaritan did and, well, let's just say he had a run in with a girl locked in the cellar who wasn't quite herself. That's probably about the most PC way of explaining demonic possession. Anyhoo, there was bad press for a year and visitors to the park fell off, it just was a big mess. They ended up doing some kind of cybernetic enhancement and now the good Samaritan has a chainsaw for an arm. He's done a great job keeping them all in line. Overall? That was one we got right.
Since I brought up Vlad and the Countess Bathory's bouncing little bundle of bloodsucker? It's important to know that if you are in your domicile, and R.V.'s count, vampires cannot enter without an invitation from you. So, if you are camping in your R.V. and someone comes knocking late at night? Don't answer. If they aren't a vampire? They can come back the next day. If they don't come back? You definitely made the right decision. Now, the problem is? If you encounter a vampire in the wild. Hopefully? They've already set their sights on whoever they picked that night to be their victim. If not? A dropper of Holy Water as perfume on either side of your neck is a nice deterrent. Again, if the little count is there by himself? He's clearly gotten away from the castle. He needs returned immediately. Go to the nearest tree that displays a "break in case of emergency" box. Break the glass, take the bag of beef jerky out, shake it. Every Sasquatch in a 5 mile radius will come running to you. Point the baby vampire out and we'll be glad to take it from there.
Something I should bring up to our do-gooders ready to risk it all: if you can't swim? Don't try to help aquatic creatures. It won't end well. It never does. Little fry just aren't acclimated to landlubbers. Merpups are tough for even us to handle. They get scared, you can't swim, bad things happen. So? If you're determined to help any baby monster no matter where they reside? Take swimming lessons. You'll thank me. Trust me on this.
Don't let the fae trip you up, either. They're mischievous. They'll also try to sneak a changeling in on you if you do bring your human babies to the forest. If you respect walking around fairy rings and respect mother nature? The fae shouldn't be an issue. If you don't? Well, you were warned.
So, what have we not covered? Flying creatures. Yes, they present a challenge even we Sasquatch find difficult. It's hard to assess the needs of a baby that's wrapped in the arms of a mother flying 75 feet above your head. Even though the task is daunting? It's a challenge we'll definitely take on. We just watch and wait for Mom to go on the hunt and we take a peak at that tiny little velociraptor in that nest, with it's mouth hanging wide open, just awaiting a morsel. Now, the Mothman's baby was an experience. Cocoons are just something you have to see for yourself, especially when they're 6 feet tall. It's truly fascinating!
I think that covers everything for today's lesson. Bear in mind, we're beginning the summer season here in the U.S. Encounters are going to increase between cryptids and humans so be aware and care when it comes to our babies. We're aware and care when it comes to yours. Stay safe and Sasquatch on!

(Apologies to anyone who reads this in full. But this joke is hideously long on purpose. It's effects are best if you actually sit someone down and tell it to them. I took up my workmates entire lunch break with this and he hasn't spoken to me all evening.)
There are one hundred priests of an unspecified religion. They have arrived dressed in the symbols of their faith in a new land to spread the word of their 'Superbook'. This could be any land, France, Egypt, Feudal Japan, the Toronto Film Festival, any land. Absolutely any land you can imagine, Gondor, Pangaea, 1992 or your own home and surrounding lands which are unique to you.
Upon arriving in this strange new land they learn that the people here have no knowledge of Superbook. They decide that the best way to spread the word is to construct a building as a symbol of the new faith. So they purchased some basic tools and set to work gathering wood for their shrine. As there were one hundred priests in their prime the shrine was constructed in under a week.
It was a basic thing. The sort of shrine you would look at and say "that's pretty shit. Did children build this? You didn't tell me there were feral children around.". A central trunk with a roughly carved deity symbol nailed to the top stood in a forest clearing. A few rows of log seats encircled it and around the edges stood a few tall torches burning incense.
The priests stood back and looked proud over their creation, happy that they could begin spreading the words and illustrations of Superbook. It was suggested by one of the priests that "Hey we should go for a drink to celebrate our success!" to which exactly half of the priests thought would be a good idea. So fifty of the priests headed down to the local pub where they spent the night drinking whatever beverages Superbook allowed.
Upon returning from their celebrations the priests were greeted by a horrifying sight. "Have I got beverage in my eyes!?" one of the priests was heard to say "or has something destroyed our shrine!?". The priest was correct, before them lay the ruins of their primitive shrine, a tangle of wood and limbs all set ablaze by the incense torches.
How exactly all fifty priests who remained at the shrine managed to perish as the single tall, thin structure collapsed remains a mystery to this day. As the priests stood in shock staring and mourning over their lost friends, one of them turned to notice something that looked out of place. As he squinted he could make out on the horizon a figure all in black, speeding away on an unspecified vehicle. It could be a motorbike, a sports car, a horse and carriage, a horse without a carriage, absolutely any vehicle you can think of, a bicycle, a unicycle, a pangolin, or a petrol powered pangolin.
But it was too late, the man disappeared over the horizon. As the remaining priests gathered their thoughts, one of them suggested that they should not be discouraged, and that their fallen friends would want them to rebuild the shrine in memory of them.
The priests agreed and set about building a new shrine! bigger and better than the first to remember this tragic day. They quarried stones, they cut down trees and they sewed curtains, nice curtains, I mean REALLY nice curtains, with tassels and everything. It took the fifty priests a few weeks to complete but eventually they were able to stand back and admire their new creation.
It was a quaint chapel on the hill. The sort of chapel you would look at and say "hey look at that quaint little chapel, and oh damn check out those nice curtains!". A trodden dirt path led to the entrance of a small stone structure, inside was the picture of simplicity and modesty. A few rows of pews on a polished wooden floor, and an altar stood in front of a patchwork deity symbol.
As the priests admired their new chapel, they remarked that yes, their fallen friends would be happy with this. One of the priests suggested that they visit a local theme park to celebrate this day. Exactly half of the priests agreed, they spent the day riding deity approved rides, gambling deity approved amounts of money and not riding deity condemned rides.
Upon returning from their celebrations the priests were greeted by a horrifying sight. "Have I got deity approved theme park snacks in my eyes!?" one of the priests was heard to say "or has something destroyed our chapel!?". The priest was correct, on the hill lay a pill of stone rubble, limbs and silky smooth curtain tassels.... which was all on fire for some reason.
As the priests stood staring in horror over their lost friends, one of them turned to notice something that, yes, upon the horizon he could just make out the man in black speeding into the distance. But it was too late, he was gone. As the remaining priests took care of the dead in the way decreed by Superbook, one of them suggested that this should not be the end, and that their fallen friends would want them to rebuild the chapel in memory of them.
The priests agreed and set about pillaging neighbouring villages for building supplies. They gathered glass, mixed cement, smelted iron, mined for gold and expanded their quarry. They didn't just rebuild the chapel, they built a fully fledged church! The sort of church that when you refer to it like "Oh it's up by the church", people would know what you are talking about and benefit from your informative directions. It had taken the twenty five priests six months of labour but there it stood. A paved path led through an iron fence, protection against and would-be-church-destroyers and towards an imposing stone structure. Stain glass windows adorned the front complete with deity symbols, the pews could seat a thousand and a golden forged Superbook sat upon the altar.
The twenty five priests patted themselves on the back and said a prayer for the lost friends. One priest suggested that after six months they deserved a celebratory meal to mark the occasion. Twelve priests agreed whilst the rest stayed to rest, content in the safety of their shiny new iron fence. The twelve priests spent the evening at a nearby Italian restaurant, because everyone is allowed to eat Italian food.
After an evening of scoffing increasingly abstract pasta shapes the twelve priests returned to their church. One of the priests was heard to say "Have I got tagliatelle in my eye!? Or has someone knocked down our church!? AGAIN!" The scene that greeted them was one of sorrow and anger. Sorrow for their dead friends, crushed under heaps of stone and glass. Anger at their dead friends, for placing so much faith in an iron fence. Yet more anger at the figure they could see vanishing over the horizon.
At this point you are probably thinking that these priests are idiots, that surely they can understand the pattern by now that building a church plus staying in the church equals death. You would also think that after the previous events they would not believe that the solution would be to build a bigger church.... as this in no way addresses the problem at hand. You may think that surely he can't just keep rambling on like this and that he will wrap this up soon, after all we have figured out the pattern of the joke and we know where it is going anyway.
So one of the priests, suffering from long term memory loss, suggested that to honour their friends they should build a new monument to their faith. The others, after giving him concerned looks, figured they had come this far and, resigned to their fate, they agreed. The priests then spent the next five years ravaging the lands for resources. They felled forests, flattened hills and drove the critically endangered Pentapus to extinction to use their tears for cement (its like an octopus but it only has five arms... and only has five eyes.)
After a further five years of construction, they were finally able to stand back, crane their necks high, and admire their creation. This was a truly great achievement. This was now a cathedral, the sort of cathedral that architecture student congregate around. The sort of structure that everyone for miles around would refer to as "That massive f***ing monstrosity made of tears" and there would be weird rumors like "at night I've heard that you can hear the pentapusses crying from inside the walls". Whether these rumors were true or not, it was an impressive building. The size of an aeroplane hangar. It had an attached aeroplane hangar. It was the first cathedral built with a solid steel support structure and, for added protection, a moat and barbwire fence surrounded it.
The priests had been at the whole 'building monuments for the Superbook' for many years now and were getting old and tired. One of them suggested that they should take a trip to a local spa for a day of relaxation after this great achievement, "after all..." he said "page 69 of Superbook does proclaim in giant text, 'Thou shalt spa'". Five other priests, who probably had better survival instincts, agreed and the six of them took off. Six remained content in their reinforced structure, even taking shifts to keep watch for added security.
The six who left spent the day wallowing in mud, having cucumbers placed on various body parts and being generally as un-energetic as possible. They were also pleasantly surprised to find that their local infamy granted them free access to all the spas facilities. After they had left in their own time and the spa owner barred the doors shut behind them they headed back to their church.
"Have I still got cucumber in my eye!?" one of the six said as their home loomed on the horizon, "or has someone destroyed our church!?"
The priest was correct. As they approached and crossed the moat they found a towering pile of rubble. There was an eerie silence as they glared at the destruction, picturing their dead friends somewhere inside. The silence was only broken by the sound of the man in black speeding off over the horizon and the joyous cries of Pentapus souls being freed.
The sight of the man in black filled one of the priests with rage. He turned to the others and said "Hey I know what we need to do!" ... The others agreed before he had chance to say what it was.
The priests set about gathering more resources. After the ten years it took them to gather this, they were surrounded by a scorched barren earth. They had felled all the trees for twenty miles, flattened the earth, hunted all life to extinction (I mean all life, even worms... they took all the worms and used them to lure down all the birds. Then they trained the birds to help lift heavy objects for them. Then they ate the birds. Then they made a monument to remember the birds. Then they... didn't really put much effort into maintaining it and it ran into disrepair... the end), drained lakes and sucked clouds from the sky somehow.
It took a further ten years for the small group of ageing priests to complete their construction. For the sake of this story four of the priests died during a slave bird rebellion that was later crushed. Mainly because I can't think of many more advancing stages of church besides going into ghost churches or space churches, though those would be awesome.
Their creation could barely be called a church.Yes it was built in the shape of their deity symbol and inside were super mahogany (like regular mahogany only more awesome) pews and a diamond pulpit, but to all other purposes this was a fortress. The entire structure was titanium, standing thirty stories high. It was surrounded with laser fences, laser moats full of lasers, and atop the building were placed a cluster of guns which shot bullets which were also made of lasers. There were immense speaker systems built into the walls which issued threats as well as religious good will messages to all who approached. It was the sort of church that you wouldn't say anything about... because the church would know what you said and rain lasers upon you.
The doom of the man in black was built. But they needed bait. The two old priests drew straws to decide who would stay. The priest who left made it known that he would be leaving for a day on the beach.
He spent his day pretending to sunbathe, pretending to build sandcastles and pretending to dip his toes in the water. Until he heard a commotion in the distance. He raced back towards his fortress with a smile on his face, the sort of smile you would have if the person who has killed ninety eight of your closest ninety nine friends had been killed. When he could peer over the next horizon however, his smile vanished. All he could see in front of him was a smoking heap of titanium and misfiring lasers. As he peered through the smoke he could make out the man in black making his escape.
Something inside him had told him that this would happen and this time he was prepared. He knew there was no sand in his eyes... he had only been pretending to touch the sand. He ran behind a nearby bush and hopped aboard his Super Priesty Priest Scooter and gave chase.
Through the desolate lands he chased the man, gaining ever so slowly until after hours, to the priests surprise, the man had pulled over. The priest pulled up and approached the man, his face red with rage.
"HAVE YOU BEEN KNOCKING DOWN OUR CHURCHES!?" The priest roared.
And the man replied
"...... no....... "

Notice: This is a strictly fandom related topic, reposted here for the sake of wider selection of opinions. This post has no value to people wo do not care about the Fandom wiki and your voices will not be considered by Fandom staff unless they're specifically left under this Wiki's post.
Dear community of ULTRAKILL wiki, I've been the sole administrator of this wiki for the past 2 years, as promoted by the original owner of this wiki, but there has been a problem; I was not given bureaucrat permissions. What does that mean? It means that I cannot promote or demote anyone to an administrative position. Why does that matter? It does, because that means I am the only person who can delete pages, lock pages, ban users, remove offensive comments and posts, change wiki appearance, edit wiki's navigation and many more things. With each update bringing in more readers, the amount of workload to keep the wiki neat is ever so increasing and I cannot keep up.
I asked Fandom staff for help and was denied the permissions unless I beg you to support me getting user management rights. The process will take 5 days in which Fandom staff will read comments in this discussion and use them to wager whether I should be allowed help, or forced to remain a sole moderator until my bitter end.
I ask you to voice your support of me getting the bureaucrat permissions.

What if we support you?

I'll get full user management permissions. The wiki will get more help than ever before. Offensive users and articles will be removed much faster and there no longer will be a 16 hour period in which I cannot moderate due to sleep/work.

What if we won't support you?

I shall willfully resign. I appreciate this community greatly, but I do not have the time nor willpower to do this on my own. I had actual nightmares about new content releasing for ULTRAKILL and me not being able to verify information in new edits. I am at my last strand of will to help this community and being able to promote new administrators before ACT 3 release is my last hope.
As a consequence, ULTRAKILL wiki will be left unmoderated and offensive content or users no longer will be removed.

The third way

I would lie if I said that I am not frustrated with current ongoings. Between Fandom wiki being absolutely filled with obnoxious ads, moderation UI being very clustered and time consuming to use and my latest exchanges with site managers, I am growing increasingly angry with the site. I hanged on to the bitter end and would prefer to not consider this, but it might be the time to jump ship. There currently exists a very promising ULTRAKILL wiki on Miraheze. It is an alternative to Fandom's hosting, without ads and vastly different set of tools. I am personally not a fan of it, but I'm becoming less and less of Fandoms fan at the same time and, if that's what community would vote on, I'd be willing to contact Miraheze ULTRAKILL wiki moderators to come to some sort or arrangement in moving the contents of this wiki over.
This would unfortunately also make it very likely for me to leave either way, as I have no single idea about miraheze and would have to campaign for a moderation position again (Which would be troublesome with my non-existent miraheze-using skills) but it might be for the better in the end.
Mind you, that moving this wiki to miraheze would NOT mean also upholding the same ruleset. Miraheze wiki has different page layout policy and does not have the same rules regarding humor as Fandom wiki does.
Thank you for reading and thank you all for whichever conclusion we come to.
REMINDER: Fandom staff does not use reddit. If you wish to address them, comment under Fandom wiki post.

I felt the hot ground around me, wondering why I felt so weak. As if my lungs had been shredded to pieces then stuffed back into my body. I slowly got up just to find myself collapsing back down again. Where was I? Why couldn’t I remember anything?
In the distance, I saw something that made the memories all flood back.
The memories of a loud explosion awakened in my ears; my breath went numb. As I looked around, I saw the ashen piles of what once laughter, happiness, and life itself. Everything disintegrated in mere seconds, not even enough time for the people to process their fate.
Picking up what was left of my brothers, I wonder why I am still here. Why aren't I a part of this pile as well? Why was I the lucky one who did not succumb to the earth?
Gaining confidence, I walked around a bit, my steps feeling unusually light.
Nothing, absolutely nothing was there except melted skin, ripped apart buildings, and a looming sense of dread.
Over in the distance, I see something. Something equally as unfathomable as my current existence in itself. On top of the wreckage and carnage, I see a small black dog. I approach it with caution, not wanting to scare my only friend left.
He noticed me and ran over to me instantaneously. I reached down to pet his soft black fur, covered in ash, and burnt pieces of God knows what.
“Why are you here buddy? Are you lost?” I said to the dog
He just turned over, exposing his soft belly.
“I guess we are the only ones here. I wonder why God chose us to survive.” I spoke. The dog turned over and looked me in the eye. I immediately felt uneasy “I know exactly why you are here.” The dog spoke back. I quickly removed my hand from the dog in confusion and fell backwards. My curiosity heightened, is my brain messed up from the radiation? Is this a dream? Am I hallucinating? “Take a walk with me,” the dog said. I obliged.
As we walk through the faded past, the events start twisting my mind, I finally realized what had happened in the very place I am standing. I start to panic as I collapse on the floor, my lungs being ripped out again.
“It's normal to be afraid, this is a new experience” The dog said, but I paid no mind as I was trying to collect my thoughts. I wonder what he meant by that.
“What are you?” I said, hesitatingly “Why are you here”?
“You will know soon.” The dog said, as he walked away disappearing.
My mind unwiring at the events that had just happened, I get back up, to try to find my lost friend again.
As I walked through the valleys of despair, I could not seem to shake this dreadful feeling, as if I was halfway on the plane of existence.
Then, it hit me.
Right in front of my own bloodshot eyes, I saw a pile of flesh and bones among the others that seemed oddly familiar.
My own.

I just turned 33 (F) and have been in a relationship with a guy for about 6 months now. He’s a very sweet and attentive guy and I like him, but I’m not super attracted to him or excited when I’m with him. In the beginning, I was more into him but over the past couple months I’ve found that I’m less and less interested in him and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t dated much since I prioritized school and family in my 20s, so I’m a late bloomer but I really want kids and I’m worried that if I end things, I might never find someone and will regret it.
A few things that I think have made me less into him are that we seem to have different life experiences (he has never traveled, he doesn’t seem to have many friends, he doesn’t know some common terms, he holds his cutlery in a strange way), and he doesn’t challenge me or lead in the relationship, which I prefer. I’m afraid these might be small things that I should overlook and that I’m being too picky (I’m also an average looking woman but I’m a lot more educated than him degree-wise and I have a good support system and more life experience). Does anyone have any advice? Should I dump him and start over at 33?

Everyday is absolute misery, I escape by studying people and lending an ear to them... Its the only thing that makes me feel good and brings purpose into my meaningless existence.
I have so many questions that I want answers to and I find them through other people. Suicidal ideation, addiction, poverty, anxiety and dire situations are rampant. I always thought I'm the only person feeling that level of pain. I want to help others in the long term and fix myself along the way. I posted it here because I think im not the only person that feels this way. Is this a sign that I'm atleast making some progress?

HI GUYS!!!! I JUST BOUGHT MY FIRST WHEELCHAIR!!!!! im sooo excited, ive known i need one for a long time now but i kept hitting myself with the ableist idea that im "not disabled enough" until today i said screw it and bought one!!!!
it gets here thursday and im so hyped!!!! does anyone have any tips for using it?? any do's or dont's??
im assuming it will be quite difficult at first until i build up arm strength but i got a super lightweight one to help with that
thanks in advance!!! 💕

Why does Elias want to summon Andariel? In the end, it is just a brief combat encounter that doesn´t add up to the story. At least I didn´t see how. Why Duriel shows up later in the story? Who is summoning it and why?
I didn´t get why these two lesser evils show up. Could anyone elaborate? thanks!

Today I made some Korean pork belly, it came marinated in the package. It said to store it between 0-4 Celsius, and I had stored it in the fridge for about a month (it expired tomorrow), but I only noticed after eating that my fridge was at 6 Celcius, (which btw I'm confused by why that's even an option, isn't all refrigerated food supposed to be stored under 5?). It said to cook it in a pan on medium heat for 10 minutes, I cooked it for about 11 just to be sure. Anyways, I read you can get Trichinosis from pork, can you get it from improperly stored pork, or does it have to be undercooked?
I got a little worried because I was eating just now (around 6 hours after dinner), and I randomly gagged and felt some come up in the back of my throat. I'm not nauseous, and feeling okay.

I’m a current band 6 pharmacist interested in applying for a band 7 position. I have an interview lined up next week. Does anyone have any advice regarding interviews and any specific questions they ask in the interview?