Art of Simone's upgraded power armor and crystal sword!
Chapter Sixty Five: Allies and Scritches.
Looking around, the redhead finds herself standing in the middle of a dark and damp forest. But despite the gentle waves of the breeze moving the flora, there’s no sound. To the Terran’s recognizing eye as well, the plant life appears to be a blending mingle of those on the Gratt homeworld and the fateful operation on the Whista owned world.
Moving forward, her surprisingly lucid mind comes to the conclusion that she is once again ‘dreaming’, no doubt being brought on by the growth in her braincase.
She finds a loose path reminiscent of an overgrown hunter's trail that snakes her deeper into the silent landscape. Although something instinctual in her demands to be fearful of the situation, Simone can’t help to be more curious than anything due to the fact this hasn’t happened in a little while.
After some time of traversing the blending path she catches something glinting off past nearby foliage. Freezing for a moment she stares it down in an attempt to make out what it is. When it proves to not be a barrel of a weapon, she approaches it and reaches out. Her bare hand touches the glint, causing it to fully take form before resting in her palm. In a light dug she draws the dangling object free from a thin branch and brings it up close to her face.
On a thin necklace chain is a bent dog tag and a small grimy triangular device. Manipulating the tag, Simone is not at all surprised to find her own name on it. But as for the device, she surmises that it’s very similar to the thing implanted to her forehead after being kidnapped by the children of Gaia, though clearly a differing model with possibly a very different purpose.
For a moment Simone is almost compelled to put the triangle to her head, but knowing better than to trust the bits of a Manarian mad scientist in her brain she resists and decides to continue down the path. But to her concern the path is no longer there when she turns around. Instead before her is a cliffside overlooking a wide field of absolute chaos.
Down in the valley she overlooks is an expanse of a visceral battle playing out. No longer silent, the explosions and cries of vocals are significantly muffled as if her own hearing was going out.
Still, she steps closer to the drop to get a fuller view. Far down below, yet in perfect clarity to her dream eyes are various sized armies of every known species defending incoming forces from the dark encircling treeline. From the trees themselves are lines of armored Manarians consistently pressing more and more into the valley. From all sides the defenders are overwhelmed from their foes. Few Manarian’s drop in their compressing march. Simone witnesses that as they approach individuals of other species, the defenders throw down their arms before kneeling in surrender. Like an aura of instant submission, those who don’t fall in battle give in to the invaders in an instant. More and more the Manarians gain ground, only seeming to slow as Deathworlders put up the most fight.
Finding the location of the Terrans, Simone’s heart sinks. A small but effective population is fighting against the bulk within their own lines. Disarray ensues as the Terrans divide their bewildered attention from within and what approaches, unable to give support to others or eventually themselves.
Suddenly the majority of the Cali forces turn to their neighboring species and join in on the Manarian’s side. In the midst of this they release a devastating additional army of Malchite that help carve the Manarians an easy path towards the most united and powerful section of the defenders.
In mere moments, ‘Central’ falls, sending a cascading wave of despair to all the remaining defenders. Before the Manarian’s even get close now, swaths of species begin to surrender seeing their best chance at maintaining a defense is obliterated.
Thankfully the Terrans have seemed to have taken care of the internal conflict, but unfortunately it's far too late for it to matter as they practically stand alone in this fight.
Some species flee to bolster and hide behind the Terran’s lines. To their credit, if not for a moment, they fight back hard enough to pause the Manarian advance. There’s moments of grim yet heroic sacrifices, ground freely given in order to lure the enemy into effective traps, and some Terrans manage to not give into the aura of submission long enough for others to run. It’s damn inspiring to see the unstoppable force stall.
But of course, it’s not enough.
Lines break, encampments burn, leaders fall.
Eventually Terrans are reduced to a single circular formation as they stand shoulder to shoulder in defense of the little they have left.
They hold until their ammunition and other supplies run dry. Expecting surrender the Manarains extend the option to stop the fighting then and there.
In a moment of consideration, the Terrans under the flag of their last standing leader charge outwards in a hopeless defiant melee. The fighting is visceral and brutal, but eventually only one Terran stands against an entire universe.
The individual has no energy left to strike out. In their grasp is a tattered and burned flag that can no longer be made out. But the Terran stands, using it as a brace.
A Manarian leader comes up and hammers the final Terran to the ground demanding submission. A few now utterly silent moments pass by before the Terran drags themself up the flagpole into a standing position.
With another blow the Manarian strikes them down again.
But the Terran refuses, and gets up once more.
Having run out of patience the Manarian shoots a leg cleanly free from the Terran.
Yet with a scream, they remain standing, utilizing the pole even more.
Deciding that it’s no longer worth trying, the aggressor levels their weapon to the Terran’s face.
Just before being vanquished for good, Simone realizes that through the cracked open helmet of the Terran that they were looking straight up at her. Despite the distance, the two sets of eyes lock together. There is not pleading in the wounded Terran’s eyes, no fear, no judgment, nothing Simone would ever expect.
What the redhead sees in them can only be expressed in one simple word;
Hope.
As the final shot sings out the valley is encompassed in shadow, resembling more of an massive endless pit.
“I know what’s at stake. Why am I being shown this? You of all people should be elated that this is coming.” Simone thinks for Sharra to possibly pick up.
But instead of an expected occurrence, she feels a warmth from behind her.
Turning her back from the void she immediately sees a small campsite. There’s a tent, a stack of scavenged firewood and a strange cliché knight sitting on a log by a roaring fire.
Feeling her heart skip a beat Simone practically runs to him, expecting it to be an aspect of her father. But she soon realizes that the person’s frame is far too small to be an avatar of him.
Noticing her, the armored individual raises a hand in greeting before staring at the fire. The area behind their visor still pitch dark.
“What is this?” Simone skeptically says in her mind, not trusting this in the slightest.
The knight then speaks up.
“A fire.” they say.
“I mean… all of this… What’s going on?” the Terran presses.
You’re dreaming, and thus your mind is molding things in the manner minds do when slumbering.’ the knight states.
“Okay… so what are you supposed to be? Because with what’s going on with my head a lot of things I ‘dream’ are actually literal things affecting me, like you actually answering my question so directly is pretty suspicious. This a Sharra thing? Usually it’s my dad in the knight get-up, so what are you?” Simone responds in questioning.
“Nothing of substance at all. Or… something vitally important. That’s really up for you to decide really. This is your mind after all, I’m simply here because your mind thought it necessary to conjure me.” the Knight replies.
“But this isn’t how dreams are normally supposed to work, even more lucid ones… right? This is getting real fucking weird.” the redhead argues.
“Then perhaps your mind’s ailment is affecting your mind quite a bit.” the Knight shrugs.
“No fucking kidding…” Simone agrees as she steps up closer, “So… you wouldn’t know where I can talk with whatever’s left of Sharra?”
To answer this, the knight bends to the side and digs their hand into loose soil. Sitting back up they begin to massage it back out to the forest floor.
“Bits and pieces everywhere. Constantly trying to pull together, but is simply unable to be whole. Destined to eventually drive you mad.” they explain.
“Wait, what? How?” Simone asks.
“You have been affected by her unconsciously, have you not? Wanting to viscously bite your lover? Speaking in her tongue? Symptoms of her gradually melding into you. Although she’s not complete, you will eventually start to forget who you really are. Two minds sharing one consciousness… it spells disaster for ‘Simone Thatch’. I suggest you find a way to avoid this.”
“But… but Vermis told me that she’s too far gone to be a problem.” the redhead points out.
“She can’t take your body from you, but she’ll still seep. Regardless if she can even intend to or not. Your mind will survive, but your identity will slip to some degree.”
“Shit…” Simone responds as she plants her face to her hands, “So… your part of my subconscious that is telling me something is wrong?”
“Possibly. Makes sense if that’s the case.” the knight grants as Simone can hear the helmet be removed from the individual.
She attempts to pull her hands away, only to realize she was stuck in this realm of pitch black.
-
Simone’s eyes open from what was meant to just be a brief nap. Her brain was foggy, and the details of her dream was loose enough to question her actual lucidity during or if her dream simply tricked her into thinking she was in fact lucid.
Rubbing her face she sits up to see Chak having a conversation with Sonla across the hotel room.
“Hey hun, how long was I out?” she asks as she swings her legs off the side of the bed.
The princess stands up and begins moving over to the Terran.
“Just a few hours, I was planning on waking you in another hour anyway so don’t fret. You really needed it after everything.” Chak replies with a giggle as she reaches out to address her lover’s bedhead fur.
Allowing the Cali to fix what she can, Simone sighs out of soreness.
“Yeah, I did.” she agrees in a chuckle, “Our new infiltrator caught up to speed?”
“I haven’t shared certain details, but she knows that we are perhaps going to have a less than legal encounter with the Terran President. That won’t harm the president, hopefully.” Chak reports before finishing up with the Terran’s fur, “Oh, and I have purchased some new clothes for you to wear on our trip back. They were delivered not a standard half hour ago. Simple pants and shirt. Your dress has been cleaned and repaired as well.” she notified as she pointed to the closet area.
SImone leans out and kisses the Cali in a tender peck.
“You’re the best hun.” she whispers before standing up and stretching out the ache before striding over to the neatly folded pile of clothes.
“Only second to you.” Chak coyly replies as she enjoys the view for a few moments before snapping to it, “I’ll have our transport summoned.”
…
Before the three can even depart out the front door, as the elevator door opens there’s a crowd of people waiting for them in the lobby. Simone opens her mouth to ask what was going on, but Chak swiftly presses the indicator to re-close the door.
“Chakalata’motaas! One moment of your time!”
“Princess there’s some questions regarding public property damage!”
“When was the last correspondence you had with your father!”
“Is the Terran really your fiance or a roleplay consort?”
Among other raising voices upon seeing the Cali the reporters swarmed towards the elevator just before the door closed and started to go up a level.
“Wow…” Simone utters, “I thought we’d be a bit more shielded from them?”
“If they reserved rooms at the hotel after learning we were here… then there’s not much that can be done.” Chak replies a bit troubled, “We just need to find another way-”
As the door opens again, even more people stand in wait.
“Oh princess! Was your appearance on Thorba the truthful’s podcast really you or did he use A.I to replicate your voice?”
“Was it you present on Kamoi roughly a standard year ago where a restaurant was destroyed in a terrorist attack? Were you the target?”
“What business do you have in Central? Are you going to appeal to have your father’s authority be unrecognized?”
“Have you spoken at all to the Cali Ambassador?
“Care to share any details over the events that transpired with Ambassador Zrreak’s son last night?”
“Is the Vorook also a lover of yours?”
“Is your chitin really deep-dyed?”
“Are you still in fear for your life?”
“Are Terrans-”
The elevator door sealed again, this time needing Simone to hold back people from potentially creeping into the elevator.
“I guess we’re going back down to make a run for it?” Simone huffs in immense annoyance.
“Unfortunately that appears to be our only option.” Chak nods, her patience being tested as well.
“Want me to make big explosion as a distraction?” Sonla offers.
“No need for that.” Chak replies quickly.
“Here. I’ll march us out. Sonla, get on my back.” Simone says before she kneels down and scoops up the Cali in her arms, “Still as light as a feather.” she winks.
Chak’s eyes flash.
“They’ll be given quite the show.” she chuckles.
As told, Sonla clambers up the back of the Terran and gets a firm hold around her neck.
“If an explosion is needed, I’m ready!” she declares just before the doors open for the final time.
Using her cradling arm under the Cali’s back, Simone uses her curled up hand to protect Chak’s head as she marches straight into the crowd.
None wanting to test to see if the bulky Terran considers trampling a valid option, a path is cleared. However the barrage of questions does not let up in the slightest as they followed the trio towards the front doors.
“What was the intention of your stay here?”
“When and where will your wedding to the Terran occur?”
“Is it true that Simone Thatch is a war criminal?”
“Have you suffered any injury while being intimate with a Terran?”
“How many Terrans have you mated with? Are all the ones you brought with you your harem?”
“Are you certain that you are the last survivor of your family?
“Are the Gratt to be trusted?”
“Have you encountered any bouncy hunters in Central?”
“Is the famed Admiral Chucknuq still in your service?”
“Have you been hiding out this whole time on Vapor’perna?”
“Are you planning on commencing a civil war?”
“How much are you paying the Terran to be your mate?”
To the dismay of Chak and Simone, the crowd only grew upon leaving the hotel’s premises. And even contributed around where their shuttle was landing.
Although not completely serious about it, SImone started to humor the idea of Sonla causing a distraction before sharp roaring barks erupts from nearby.
The questions all stop and even a few calls of distress ring out as everyone catches sight of a dozen uniformed Z’ah’tucks approach. In a wide line formation they release warning -though no doubt perceived as outright ‘threatening’- vocalizations. More cries ring out as they unleash fur covered mammalian quadrupeds that run ahead to the trio and begin guiding the reporters away through fear alone.
Simone couldn’t help but laugh aloud at the sight of the Terran shepherd dogs doing what their breed did best.
A Tromple recoils in pale terror as they worm away from one of the canines, who did nothing but exist with an authoritative attitude.
Very effectively parting the crowd away from the three, the lead Z’ah’tuck waved Simone to come to her.
Seeing little reason not to, considering the rescue, the Terran nods and hurries the two other women on her to the line of dinos.
“Thanks, but… what’s this about?” she asks.
The pack of a dozen dinos encircle the three and start walking them away to another shuttle landing zone. The dogs loyally come back to their owners as they make sufficient distance.
“As an apology for you having to get involved with last night’s events, Ambassador Zrreak wishes to personally escort you back to your designated apartment.” she answers as three shuttles await them in the zone. The biggest and most armored of which opens up for the three to enter.
“Oh…” Chak utters in thought before Simone lets her down to enter the vessel.
As the princess steps on in, it’s clear this vessel is meant to fit many guests within on a regular basis considering the scuffing and scratch marks. But at this moment there is only one individual within.
Looking much like his son, Zrreak is of the larger variant of his species. Covered in various deep scars across his scales and adorned in high quality drapery he pets a smaller breed of dog in his lap.
“Thank you for accepting my invitation, Princess.” he greets with a respectful bow of his head.
“Of course, we very much appreciate your assistance with the media swarm.” Chak replies before she finds herself a seat.
“You can get off now…” Simone informs Sonla before following the Cali in.
The Vorook slowly slides down the Terran and does her best to position herself to hide behind the redhead as much as possible, eventually sitting down in a seat that has the larger frame of the Terran between her and the ambassador.
Simone looks the ambassador in the eyes with a hint of weariness. Although she isn’t necessarily suspicious, with the still very significant bounty on her fiance’s head… one can never be too careful. She waits until the seal of the shuttle door clicks shut before speaking up herself.
“Cute corgi, does it have a name?” she inquires.
“Hmmhmm” the Z’ah’tuck hums in amusement as he lightly scratches the canine on it’s rump, causing it to lift its head and perk its ears, “His name is Zioakaa, a play on the Z’ah’tuck title meaning ‘One who has seen the Abyss, and made it weep’. Such a title is usually reserved for artists or passionate leaders. People who can invoke a great shift of public morale, whether it be for sorrow, fear or hope. This dog? Although he is no small part of my public image, he has shifted my morale extraordinarily.” he answers in a relatively reminiscing voice.
Seeing his genuine soft appreciation for the animal is clear as day to Simone, she allows herself to relax as the shuttle takes off with two additional escorts.
“Dogs are pretty great, huh?” Simone chuckles.
“Possibly the best of everything your people have brought to the stars.” the man agrees, “Despite losing a long war with Terrans, Z’ah’tuck certainly gained from it in some aspects.”
“Crazy how that hashes out. And hey, more dogs in the universe? I’ll take it.” the redhead replies before peeking over to Sonla, who was tucking her legs up to make her silhouette smaller.
“Oh, how is your son fairing Ambassador Zrreak? And the others in his and his wife’s company?” Chak asks pleasantly.
“He has been advised to be in bed for a few days, but will make a full recovery. The others will recover as well, but those more substantially injured will of course need a fair bit more recovery.”
“That’s very good to hear. Be sure to pass along our best wishes.” the Princess replies with a nod of her head.
“I will. Though I must apologize for your involvement in his incident. Such business should have been avoided in the first place.” Zrreak says as he extends one of his hands out to Chak, which she accepts sooner than he would have expected from a Cali.
“Thank you for the gesture, the involvement was voluntary, I assure you. Believe it or not Ambassador, I have conducted myself in more perilous situations as you can no doubt imagine.” Chak says pleasantly, “Though I have a feeling you’ve brought us aboard your own personal shuttle with other motives in mind, yes?”
Simone tenses up again as the Ambassador’s raptor eyes focus on the Princess for a moment.
Tilting his horned head, Zrreak then lets out a ‘caught me red handed’ snicker before pulling his hand away.
“Yes, yes you’re right indeed. Though I assure you it has little to do with the price on your head. As much as I still enjoy a good hunt, I’m not one to prey upon my own allies. No, what I hope to discuss is ensuring you are reinstated as the prime monarch of the Cali people.” he reveals.
“Oh… pardon Zrreak… what exactly do you mean by that?” Chak asks as she recovers from such a bold notion.
“I’ve decided to place my bets on you, Chakalata’motaas. I bring you an offer already officiated over by my people’s leaders for you to respond. May I officially present it to you in this rather unofficial setting?” he inquires.
“Very well, but I cannot make a promise that I’ll be receptive to what you offer.” Chak grants as she crosses her lower limbs in her lap.
Zrreak presses an indication in a side datapad, activating a hardlight screen to appear along the middle open area of the shuttle. The text on the screen outlines the terms of the proposal to which the ambassador presents it aloud.
“This proposed bargain has been rattling around the Z’ah’tuck trade leaders since the coup of your father. Though it hinged on whether or not you or any of your siblings survived. Seeing you are indeed alive and making concerted efforts towards freeing your people from his tyrannical rule one way or another you fit the criteria. And so here it is; The Z’ah’tuck Conglomerate will publicly support your right to the Cali throne, and it is prepared to dedicate one-sixth of its war fleets and the Third-fang battalion to aid in the likely event of military conflict.” he pauses to let that settle before continuing, “In return, the Conglomerate requests that the Cali government agree to contribute Ten percent more Natural-grade product and twenty five percent more Clone-grade product to the Z’ah’tuck meat market trade for the next fifty standard year period. Secondly it is also requested that Cali shipyards produce Twenty five hundred trade-ships by Conglomerate provided specifications in the next five standard years. Thirdly, permit Z’ah’tuck trade businesses to set up shop on Cali colonies. Fourth and finally, vote and publicly advocate for the Z’ah’Tuck people to be officiated out of ‘Associate Species’ into ‘Member Species’ status in Central.” he finishes.
Chak scratches the sides of her head with her lower graspers as she seriously considers the alliance deal. It’s an incredible opportunity. With the Z’ah’tucks big economic pull among the carnivorous species of Central -despite them currently being of ‘Associate’ status- this could be very advantageous. But the cost for the support was fairly high, yet not totally unreasonable.
“Your offer is rather tempting, Ambassador. Though I cannot see myself agreeing to it as it stands. You see if open civil war does break out, then I fear my people will need a period of time to stabilize, especially economically. People will need to be fed, buildings rebuilt, and damage to our world repaired. So here’s my counter offer for your consideration;” she says as she reaches out in request for the datapad, of which is candidly handed to her for her to revise the terms for consideration, “Lower the twenty five percent for cloned product to twenty. Provide charitable relief shelter camps where displaced Cali can be warm and well fed during the war campaign, which may prove to be a great source of building up positive relations with not only my people but many others sitting in Member Central seats. And finally agree to grant Cali trade ships official access to Conglomerate trade routes with reduced fines by thirty percent. The rest of your terms are acceptable.” she responds.
“Hmmm…” Zrreak mumbles as he stares at the screen. He brings a claw to his armored muzzle, dragging it along a deep old scarring, “I have the authority to negotiate the terms within reason, and although I know a few trade managers will be disgruntled I believe your counter terms are acceptable.” he nods before transferring the developed agreement to the datapad for both parties to sign.
The Z’ah’Tuck signs first before handing the pad over.
Suppressing her eyes from blasting light to not give away how she honestly felt about this deal, Chak re-reads the entire agreement twice to make absolutely certain that there are no possible term manipulations. The Z’ah’tuck are known to be honerable in terms of business, but one can never be too careful in this realm of dealing.
Once she is certain of all the terms, Chak signs as well and hands it back.
“Your gamble on me is appreciated, Ambassador. I will do everything in my power to ensure that my father is deposed. With your aid, I see the path towards that even more clearer.” she assures.
“Time will tell. And to be honest, we stand to lose little until conflict is certain. The biggest risk we run is a prolonged open war with the Cali. Central history is not kind to Deathworlders declaring war on non-deathworlders, even under these circumstances we may risk being ousted completely from Central. Though I’m doubtful considering our stranglehold on the meat markets. Who else would they turn to? The Truba? With their reputation and recent enormous debacle? I don’t think so.” Zrreak chuckles as he returns to petting his lap dog.
“Such a travesty…” Chak agrees, “Is there more you can share regarding that situation?”
“Just that these Squilla understandably don’t have much of a government. They dwelled in deeper waters and complex cave systems in their comparative ‘iron age’. They are incredibly fast learners, however. Which gives most of the Central council the impression that the Truba have been suppressing the Squilla’s growth as a people for literal ages. I don’t think anything like this has ever happened in known galactic history. It’s still all a mess unfortunately, but important first steps have been taken. I’ve spoken to the representative of the Squilla only a few times, and seeing him come to terms with reality is bittersweet.” the ambassador explained.
“I see. Perhaps I may have a chance to meet him while I’m in central.” Chak says with a shrug.
“It’s a long line to privately meet in an official manner, which is to no surprise I assume?” Zrreak informs.
“Of course, perhaps not then.” Chak concedes.
Wide eyed, Simone looks back and forth between the two.
“Sorry, uhm… I feel like what just happened earlier is a pretty big fucking deal… Military support? Not that I’m complaining, but I’d imagine something like that having a bit more bureaucracy? A quick back and forth and it’s a done deal?” she questioned, utterly bewildered.
“This is how backroom deals tend to go, Simone, you know that.” Chak replies as she reaches a hand to take hold of one of the redhead’s.
She then squeezes in trembling excitement to show that she was putting up a polite professional act.
“Right. Yeah.” Simone corrects herself as she huffs a pant of jubilated air.
The ambassador turns to look at the Terran directly.
“Simone Thatch. If you're at liberty to confirm, through some dealings we have received interesting intel regarding a Terran group that calls itself the ‘Children of Gaia’. Have you encountered them previously?” he inquires.
“Ah, uhm… I know about them. But that’s all I’m really willing to share at this time. What sort of dealings are you referring to exactly?” the Terran responds.
“Nothing nefarious, at least at the surface. We have traded for strange breeds of dogs, tracing their origins to that group. We suspect that they are these ‘pirates’ that invaded the Gratt homeworld. Would that be correct?” Zrreak presses, now looking back and forth between the Terran and Cali.
Chak sighs but nods.
“That would be correct.” she admits.
“Why hide that fact?” the ambassador asks.
“Well, there's a reason to. And I’m afraid we can’t share why, but rest assured their identity will be broadly revealed in due time. Soon, if we can help it, but we have to secure a few things first.” Chak explains, “Apologies for withholding information from you, but I ask that the Conglomerate not share intel of the group for the time being.” Chak requests.
“I can’t promise such, but if it’s in your interest to wait, then it is likely ours as well.” Zrreak grants, “But if we found what we have, others are likely to as well. So I hope whatever you are planning comes around soon, Princess.” he adds.
“As do I, and trust me I understand.” Chak says as she squeezes Simone’s hand once more, “They are our enemies and what we intend to do is to dismantle them.” she assures.
“Ah, I hope you don’t mind a single stop before arriving at your apartment. I have a gift that I wish to present to you.” Zrreak announces after he seems to have received a notification on his Lens.
“Oh, how kind of you. What manner of gift?” Chak inquires.
“One that in some small way may bolster your personal security.” the ambassador vaguely answered a bit coyly.
“Oh joy…” Simone says, unsure if they’d be able to comfortably take on another staff member on the Kwip-chap.
…
Soaring down into a tight one way entrance tunnel, the shuttle eventually comes to a latching stop before being lifted up into an unloading room.
“Come, step out. It’s being brought to us.” Zrreak instructs as he stands and strides out.
Preparing themselves to politely turn his offer down, Simone and Chak step out after him. Sonla on the other hand decided then would be a perfect time to raid the fancy meat snacks she’d been eyeing for most of the trip.
As the three stand just outside the shuttle in wait, it takes only a few minutes for a Z’ah’tuck to turn a corner and enter the room.
“Unfortunately I don’t think we’ll have room to properly accommodate-” Chak begins to say before feeling her legs freeze up in sudden numbness as a beast comes trailing behind the Z’ah’tuck.
Simone’s eye tufts lift in surprise as she looks upon what she initially mistakes as a damn hyena as it shares the rusty red-brown color, stripes and even a shallow mohawk of longer fur going down its back. Though its pitbull-esk face and body structure clues her in that it is indeed a dog.
The thickly muscled domestic canine assertively pats its clawed paws across the floor towards them, passing up the handler it stopped and politely sat ten feet away.
Bending down, Zrreak sets down his corgi which without hesitation stamps quickly over to the comparatively titanous brethren. Sniffing up and around his new friend the loaf of a dog ran a circle around the other unbothered canine before splaying forward in a ‘play’ pose in front of it. Before then running off as if to invite a chase.
“Her name is Zrume, meaning ‘Wall of fangs and talons’. She is only two years of age, but understands commands in Galactic standard and is perfectly trained to guard her charge with her life.” Zrreak introduced before notifying the uncertain fright in the Princess, “She is also trained to assist as an emotional support companion. She can provide more Service-oriented work, but that hasn’t been a primary focus of her training. I thought that may suit someone of your nature, Princess.” he added before addressing the dog directly. “Zrume, at ease.”
The dog’s ice-blue eyes spark with hyper excitement as she breaks her statue pose to spaz out before engaging in play with the corgi, sniffing him in return greeting after easily catching up.
“She isn’t the best I can offer, but I believe she’d be perfect for you. May she approach to meet you?” the ambassador inquires.
“Uhm…” Chak utters before looking up to Simone for an opinion.
Biting her cheek, the redhead gave a tentative nod back.
“Oh, alright.” the princess agrees.
“Zrume, come.” Zrreak instructs.
Turning away and all but ignoring the corgi again, Zrume approaches much closer to the three. Her circular blue eyes look up at the ambassador loyally, only taking side glances of the two women.
“Transfer.” the Z’ah’tuck commands as he points to Chak first and then to Simone.
The head of the dog looked up at Chak, its head pretty much as large as hers.
“D-do I pet her?” Chak inquires.
“Of course, though I strongly recommend that you limit her social interaction to a minimum when she’s on the job. When she’s off, tell her ‘at ease’ so she knows.” Zrreak answers with an amused but serious tone.
“O-okay… Hello… Zrume… uhm… at ease? At ease.” Chak says directly to the animal.
Zrume sinks her head slightly forward to gently press against between the Cali’s lower arms. Looking up with her crisp blues she starts to wag her tail and lightly stamps her front paws.
Chak’s racing hearts start to relax as a familiar admiration feeling rises up within her. Glancing up at Simone, she caught her inwardly biting her lips to resist the broad smile from breaking out.
Looking back at the dog, Chak lifts all of her limbs and begins scritching at the places that she saw these animals enjoy in the media. Behind the ears, under the chin and the sides of the thick neck.
Zrume closes her eyes as her tail aggressively pats against the floor like a happy baton. And Chak swears the dog’s closed mouth smiled, though that could have been a trick to the angle she is viewing her.
“What do you think?” the ambassador asks, seeming to already know the answer.
“She’s so sweet…” Chak replies in giggle, “I don’t think I can say no…”
“Then in that case, I’ll have her supplies loaded up for you.”

Really long post so skip to TL;DR at the bottom if you don't wanna read the whole thing!
__________________________________________
25M & decided to go alone to AN this year since my few friends that watch anime weren't interested. My goal was to meet as many people as possible and make some new friends in the community, as I do want to go to future cons around the GTA + just talk to people that are like-minded.
This didn't really happened. Bit disappointed but I'll use this as a learning experience instead of sulking about it.
Went for 4 hours on Friday & 8 hours on Saturday. This is a quick recap:
​

1. Had messaged a few people on discord that were also going alone, and we had agreed to meet around 6pm on Friday to register together and walk the artist alley/vendors hall. One didn't reply once I got there and the other was in different parts of the venue everytime we tried to coordinate. Oh well. I walked around alone for a couple hours and was very overwhelmed by it all. There were so many people and I tried to start conversations but quickly realized the artist alley & vendor hall were not the best place to do so (Tip #1). Everyone was busy looking at things they want to buy, and it was super crowded. Also a lot of people were already with groups and my introverted ass could not talk to them lol.
   
2. After this tried to go to Nominoichi, which was even more intense than the other 2 places. I couldn't even see tables let alone find things to buy. Talked to one guy here and he said a lot of people message the sellers ahead of time through FB or discord, something I did not know. Tip #2 if you want to buy things from here, easiest way is to find the seller ahead of time to hold items for you.
   
3. Was feeling pretty dejected & headed out to grab Harvey's which took about 30 minutes, not too bad. After this hit the rave from 8:30-10:30 pm. It was a ton of fun, the benefit of being alone here is you can dance without a care + everyone is having fun either by themselves or in their own groups. There were a few dance circle things which were dope to be a part of and watch. Hard to connect with people when there is loud ass music playing, so didn't really try. But the vibes were awesome.
   

The rave was probably the highlight of my Friday. Everything else felt super rushed because I was constantly running around trying to find things to do, while also trying to talk to people (to no avail). Went home feeling a bit dejected but also hopeful as I had heard Saturday was the main day.
​

1. Saturday started off much better. There was another guy I had met through discord and we actually set a meeting time and spot for 9:30am. We walked around the vendors area for a bit, he showed me some of the good art he had found which was nice since I didn't remember shit from the day before. We bought some stuff from an artist which got us a discount for purchasing multiple items. Also, it was cool to walk around and just talk with someone for a couple hours. He left to go to a panel at 12. He told me he was meeting 4-5 others throughout the day, and they had coordinated on discord on exactly what panels or photoshoots they wanted to see. Tip #3: Instead of planning to "walk around" if you have a specific event to attend, it is more likely that you will be able to meet up with someone. Also use discord like 2 weeks ahead to find people who are into the same things and are open to meeting up (I only started messaging 2 days before the con).
   
2. Went to a couple of panels myself, and realized this is a way better environment to try and talk with people. First, they are interested in the exact same thing as you and second, a lot of people were sitting on their own too. So just grabbing a seat beside them and starting a convo on the panel topic was easy. Met a couple people at the "anime that makes you cry" panel which turned into us walking around after for about an hour. Tip #4: go to panels and talk to the people who may be alone.
   
3. At this point it was around 5pm, and I was way more tired than expected. Grabbed a lemonade and sat in the shade for a bit. Realized I had not eaten since the morning which was likely the cause of my exhaustion. Tip #5: Eat every 3-4 hours, or pack snacks at least. You need the energy. This may seem obvious, but I was so caught up I completely forgot to.
   
4. Messaged a few people on discord who had expressed interest in meeting up. One replied but he was with a Vtuber cosplay group at this point so I didn't wanna intrude cause I have no clue about Vtubers. The guy from the morning was with a few others, so I didn't push too hard on meeting up with him either. Around 5:30 I went to the parking lot area, watched some k-pop dances, watched the beginning of rave and left around 6:30.
   

What had started off as a great day, ended up feeling sorta similar to day 1. I think if I was with people, I would have stayed into the night but when you're alone it's harder to force yourself. And at this point it seemed that everyone around me was with a group too - my social battery was pretty much drained and I couldn't find the energy to introduce myself to anyone new.
__________________________________________
TL;DR
While my AN experience wasn't terrible, I failed to do what I had set out to. It was way harder than I thought to connect with people, even those that were alone. Thought it'd be easy since I assumed I'd share interests with like 75%+ of the people there.
But I quickly learnt that my anime taste is pretty normie (mostly shonen, some sports anime, popular slice of life etc.), which might have been one reason. Also, there were soooo many people that were more into gaming (genshin...) and Vtubers than anime, which I wasn't expecting. I know almost nothing about either, so this could've been another reason.
The best place to meet people at the con is panels for sure. Even better than this is finding people on discord well ahead who are open to meeting up, BUT actually organizing specific times and/or events to meet them at.
The most fun I had was the rave on Friday and the 3ish hours on Saturday where I was walking around with others and talking. Humans are social creatures, and especially for us "weebs" (or whatever label you want to use) being able to talk about your interests without the fear of judgement is liberating.
Looking back I may have made a fool of myself trying to awkwardly barge through conversations with a new stranger while waiting in line or sitting at a lunch table, but proud that I actually tried.
__________________________________________
Questions for others that went alone:

• How similar or different was your experience?
• Were you able to make new friends that you may actually talk to after AN ends?
• Did you enjoy yourself?
• Will you go solo again next year?

As I get ready to start my day on this wonderful Sunday. I’m heading to work because someone called out to cover a shift. My wife is getting ready for work as well, which is usual because when you run your own small business it’s just as hard finding people to work and she had someone call out too. I’m not going to sit here and complain and bitch because of the state of the economy it’s just fcked up. Everyone wants to restructure and make things easier and employ people to do things on their own or be simplified by a machine. That’s just the way the world is, just wishing I knew where the damn work ethic went. News flash people are lazy and now before anyone goes on their empowered bitch session calling out whatever they can or making justifications. Here is the reality you have great workers, good workers, ok workers, bad workers and people that just don’t give a shit. I’m not coming on here to bitch and complain but to tell a story and a true one at that. I will ramble on, and people will bitch about that too! Anyways on to my story and for the record I’m aware this is too long and only like 1% will read it fully and to you good old VZ maybe one day but this is even beyond you, but you played a big part. I wish whole heartedly this business would change, and customers would change, and the world would change, cause for fcks sake people need to freaking hug each other. Also, for the record I’m generally just an honest hard-working dude that gives a shit about everyone around me and my heart bleeds through my sleeves. I have done my best to just show people there are just good people out there!
So anyways here’s my damn story and my frustrations which overflowed yesterday and to start this story let’s start with some changes and effects. The easiest way is to start this script for a shitty movie because I can’t shut my trap. Anyways I was talking to an employee a few weeks ago that has been in this industry for a lot longer than me for the record. I would say they are from the bag phone age. I started 18 years ago selling flip phones with no color and every phone had a different charging port. I have always been a fixer and if you have been in this industry and have grown with it and you have a general understanding people will come to you for help. Now I encourage people to ask me questions and for help there is no better feeling than taking care of a customer or employee that is a little lost and being selfless about it. Just for example a customer came in recently that lost her son 3 years ago. She had a voicemail saved and didn’t want to lose it. I assured her that I got her covered. A long time ago before this wonderful age of tech. The solution here was to hook up a mini tape recorder, play the voicemail, and record it on the tape. For all you young pups it’s those square things with brown film running through it. So, I showed her how to email the voicemail and then helped her save it to the cloud. I completed both and played the message, I comforted her knowing as we go through this process, she’s going to get emotional. I didn’t try to sell her anything, my goal was simply for her to know that no matter what happens to her phone or her service that she can hear her son’s voice and she won’t lose it. Now for all you uneducated sales people sometimes it’s not all about making money, but it will result in money. Here is the fact and I guess the moral of the story. While I didn’t make a cent today, I made a feeling for someone. I showed that I cared and took care of them. Now when they go into a store or call customer service for something, and they don’t get treated right or someone somewhere bitches about there cell phone service to this nice lady she is going to mention the nice gentleman and what store he’s at. So, say what you want but that’s a strong lead in my book. Anyways off this exit and back on the road. This employee knows I will help figure out the issues and since we lost our account managers our direct connection to the good Old VZ was cut, that the days of fixing the issues are limited. I had to tell them that are days of going above beyond are ending and there are going to be situations where we just can’t do anything. Mind you this isn’t because it is not possible or that it’s the wrong thing to do. It’s because the person on the other end of the phone these days is comparable to having a toddler come up with a business plan for a fortune 500 company and it work flawlessly. This isn’t the CS reps that have been around and know the system and care about people. This is Jake that has you repeat yourself ten times over while he’s talking to bobby and frank trying to figure out what the hell they are doing. For the record, outsourced names have been withheld because they get to choose it on their first day of work in outsourcing. When I informed this employee of CS outsourcing more, well it was the same look my mom gave me when I came home one night with my ear pierced and bleach blond hair.
Now I started with the big old red many moons ago. I was supposed to transfer states with what used to be a fantastic company that was the epicenter of customer service (oddly no longer around) decided that money had a shit ton more value than people and my column in excel got lost. I was supposed to go to that home office in the new state and have a store all set to start at. Yeah lol no one had a clue of who I was, and something got lost along the way. No biggie just 6 years of blood, sweat and tears. So started my 18 yearish journeys indirectly with VZ. Back then you could do well for yourself to start a company and open a VZ store. There were small companies, medium companies and large ones. It was a different world where customer service was king and VZ was the shiznit! Now I’m biased here but sold the beep beep, the Nokia snake game, the sidekick! I had experience with it all. Man was I nervous from what I came from starting from the bottom as an employee coming from being the go-to manager. I could write a top selling book about these 6 years that formed me. Maybe if I get upvoted enough that could be a career path as the masses are typing TL/DDGAS/CRC. Lmao typing that just let me know how my dad felt when we were laughing as he was moving the Nintendo controller trying to move the person on the screen. Oh, that’s just fcking great damn I’m old lol. Anyways I learned that leaders and mind you leaders and managers are too different things folks. I saw selfless caring people that ran a great business and to this day even with all the bullshit treat every customer like family. Seriously don’t people fcking miss that when you walked into a store and got a smile instead of someone looking at you like your wasting their time. Yes, I know I said I wouldn’t bitch anyways back on track. I learned how to make money feel good about yourself and other people recommended you and it just went full circle. So that is how I have tried to run my business. That was the start of my journey which brought me here to make a long ass post that no one will read because I want people to give out more fcking hugs! Lmao!!
The paragraphs are for the one commented I have potential this was the next chapter I appreciate you!! I hope you’re enjoying this one! Anyways off I went and started the same cycle moved to another state and there was a lot more than just Big 5 back then and I had the experience of managing a store and enjoyed what I did. So, I started with another small VZ company and shaped the last 12 years of my career. I have had a blast and I love the company I work for which is one of the Big 5 cause that’s all that exists these days. I was fortunate to be able to continue with the same values and teach and show a bunch of people along the way. The crazy thing is you wouldn’t imagine the things you come across in this industry. I have had people threaten to kill me multiple times, had people throw things, knock over chairs, there have been multiple bathroom accidents on the sales floor, lots and lots of crying, some picketing here and there. I mean just why people. I had someone threaten to try to destroy one of my stores by bashing it online and to everyone he knew. The reason was for a phone he had over the warranty of a year, and he wanted it replaced. Now I kindly told this man what to do and how to handle his situation I also said if you want to bash my store because I am doing everything I can to help you please go ahead. I am confident in my ability to provide service. You know because well I haven’t done anything else, and I truly love what I do, and I wouldn’t leave the industry. I will put up with any bullsh!t and I will do it for that nice lady that just needed someone to care and save her voicemail. Now on to the last paragraph and if you made it this far thank you! I also realize at this point I am just bitching lol.
Anyways here is the thing we are in a service-based industry. If you slowly take the ability of providing service to the service-based industry it makes it super freaking difficult. So here are the realities people need phones, they need stores, they need customer service. It’s not a want or a luxury, there is a shit ton of need. We can’t change any of it, nothing you read or that I wrote will make a difference. So, I guess I’m asking myself was there a point of all of this and thinking of Eminem lyrics of Stan lmao. Did I just do the same thing that I am bitching about a lot of bitching. I guess I do not know what the hell I’m reaching for and joyfully doing it on a public forum lol. So, I guess the point is if you read this long as fucking post there are good people that generally care. Slow the fck down and ne nice try to understand that everyone has sh!t going on. So, if you read this or just scrolled to the bottom cause its to fcking long be a little nicer today cause this post will be seamlessly lost among a bunch of other posts. To you shady reps out there that give the industry the name it is be a little less shady today maybe care a little. As I’m getting judged now lmao for those companies that push your people to be shady… well you probably won’t see this. To big VZ you control it all you squeezed the juice out the lemon. You’re going to and will continue to drink the lemonade. I will continue my journey and ultimately this is how I support my family. I’m going to continue what I do and I’m going to enjoy it. It just sucks that it gets harder and it’s not that it gets harder because it’s harder work. It gets harder because people make harder work to make more money. Have a wonderful day folks! All you great, good, ok workers and the ones that show up thank you. I guess even you shitty people too cause in the end you don’t control that either as long as you show up as well. Peace out said the rambling man!

As I get ready to start my day on this wonderful Sunday. I’m heading to work because someone called out to cover a shift. My wife is getting ready for work as well, which is usual because when you run your own small business it’s just as hard finding people to work and she had someone call out too. I’m not going to sit here and complain and bitch because of the state of the economy it’s just fcked up. Everyone wants to restructure and make things easier and employ people to do things on their own or be simplified by a machine. That’s just the way the world is, just wishing I knew where the damn work ethic went. News flash people are lazy and now before anyone goes on their empowered bitch session calling out whatever they can or making justifications. Here is the reality you have great workers, good workers, ok workers, bad workers and people that just don’t give a shit. I’m not coming on here to bitch and complain but to tell a story and a true one at that. I will ramble on, and people will bitch about that too! Anyways on to my story and for the record I’m aware this is too long and only like 1% will read it fully and to you good old VZ maybe one day but this is even beyond you, but you played a big part. I wish whole heartedly this business would change, and customers would change, and the world would change, cause for fcks sake people need to freaking hug each other. Also, for the record I’m generally just an honest hard-working dude that gives a shit about everyone around me and my heart bleeds through my sleeves. I have done my best to just show people there are just good people out there!
So anyways here’s my damn story and my frustrations which overflowed yesterday and to start this story let’s start with some changes and effects. The easiest way is to start this script for a shitty movie because I can’t shut my trap. Anyways I was talking to an employee a few weeks ago that has been in this industry for a lot longer than me for the record. I would say they are from the bag phone age. I started 18 years ago selling flip phones with no color and every phone had a different charging port. I have always been a fixer and if you have been in this industry and have grown with it and you have a general understanding people will come to you for help. Now I encourage people to ask me questions and for help there is no better feeling than taking care of a customer or employee that is a little lost and being selfless about it. Just for example a customer came in recently that lost her son 3 years ago. She had a voicemail saved and didn’t want to lose it. I assured her that I got her covered. A long time ago before this wonderful age of tech. The solution here was to hook up a mini tape recorder, play the voicemail, and record it on the tape. For all you young pups it’s those square things with brown film running through it. So, I showed her how to email the voicemail and then helped her save it to the cloud. I completed both and played the message, I comforted her knowing as we go through this process, she’s going to get emotional. I didn’t try to sell her anything, my goal was simply for her to know that no matter what happens to her phone or her service that she can hear her son’s voice and she won’t lose it. Now for all you uneducated sales people sometimes it’s not all about making money, but it will result in money. Here is the fact and I guess the moral of the story. While I didn’t make a cent today, I made a feeling for someone. I showed that I cared and took care of them. Now when they go into a store or call customer service for something, and they don’t get treated right or someone somewhere bitches about there cell phone service to this nice lady she is going to mention the nice gentleman and what store he’s at. So, say what you want but that’s a strong lead in my book. Anyways off this exit and back on the road. This employee knows I will help figure out the issues and since we lost our account managers our direct connection to the good Old VZ was cut, that the days of fixing the issues are limited. I had to tell them that are days of going above beyond are ending and there are going to be situations where we just can’t do anything. Mind you this isn’t because it is not possible or that it’s the wrong thing to do. It’s because the person on the other end of the phone these days is comparable to having a toddler come up with a business plan for a fortune 500 company and it work flawlessly. This isn’t the CS reps that have been around and know the system and care about people. This is Jake that has you repeat yourself ten times over while he’s talking to bobby and frank trying to figure out what the hell they are doing. For the record, their names have been withheld because they get to choose it on their first day of work in timbucktooooo across the ocean. When I informed this employee of CS outsourcing more, well it was the same look my mom gave me when I came home one night with my ear pierced and bleach blond hair.
Now I started with the big old red many moons ago. I was supposed to transfer states with what used to be a fantastic company that was the epicenter of customer service (oddly no longer around) decided that money had a shit ton more value than people and my column in excel got lost. I was supposed to go to that home office in the new state and have a store all set to start at. Yeah lol no one had a clue of who I was, and something got lost along the way. No biggie just 6 years of blood, sweat and tears. So started my 18 yearish journeys indirectly with VZ. Back then you could do well for yourself to start a company and open a VZ store. There were small companies, medium companies and large ones. It was a different world where customer service was king and VZ was the shiznit! Now I’m biased here but sold the beep beep, the Nokia snake game, the sidekick! I had experience with it all. Man was I nervous from what I came from starting from the bottom as an employee coming from being the go-to manager. I could write a top selling book about these 6 years that formed me. Maybe if I get upvoted enough that could be a career path as the masses are typing TL/DDGAS/CRC. Lmao typing that just let me know how my dad felt when we were laughing as he was moving the Nintendo controller trying to move the person on the screen. Oh, that’s just fcking great damn I’m old lol. Anyways I learned that leaders and mind you leaders and managers are too different things folks. I saw selfless caring people that ran a great business and to this day even with all the bullshit treat every customer like family. Seriously don’t people fcking miss that when you walked into a store and got a smile instead of someone looking at you like your wasting their time. Yes, I know I said I wouldn’t bitch anyways back on track. I learned how to make money feel good about yourself and other people recommended you and it just went full circle. So that is how I have tried to run my business. That was the start of my journey which brought me here to make a long ass post that no one will read because I want people to give out more fcking hugs! Lmao!!
The paragraphs are for the one commented I have potential this was the next chapter I appreciate you!! I hope you’re enjoying this one! Anyways off I went and started the same cycle moved to another state and there was a lot more than just Big 5 back then and I had the experience of managing a store and enjoyed what I did. So, I started with another small VZ company and shaped the last 12 years of my career. I have had a blast and I love the company I work for which is one of the Big 5 cause that’s all that exists these days. I was fortunate to be able to continue with the same values and teach and show a bunch of people along the way. The crazy thing is you wouldn’t imagine the things you come across in this industry. I have had people threaten to kill me multiple times, had people throw things, knock over chairs, there have been multiple bathroom accidents on the sales floor, lots and lots of crying, some picketing here and there. I mean just why people. I had someone threaten to try to destroy one of my stores by bashing it online and to everyone he knew. The reason was for a phone he had over the warranty of a year, and he wanted it replaced. Now I kindly told this man what to do and how to handle his situation I also said if you want to bash my store because I am doing everything I can to help you please go ahead. I am confident in my ability to provide service. You know because well I haven’t done anything else, and I truly love what I do, and I wouldn’t leave the industry. I will put up with any bullsh!t and I will do it for that nice lady that just needed someone to care and save her voicemail. Now on to the last paragraph and if you made it this far thank you! I also realize at this point I am just bitching lol.
Anyways here is the thing we are in a service-based industry. If you slowly take the ability of providing service to the service-based industry it makes it super freaking difficult. So here are the realities people need phones, they need stores, they need customer service. It’s not a want or a luxury, there is a shit ton of need. We can’t change any of it, nothing you read or that I wrote will make a difference. So, I guess I’m asking myself was there a point of all of this and thinking of Eminem lyrics of Stan lmao. Did I just do the same thing that I am bitching about a lot of bitching. I guess I do not know what the hell I’m reaching for and joyfully doing it on a public forum lol. So, I guess the point is if you read this long as fucking post there are good people that generally care. Slow the fck down and ne nice try to understand that everyone has sh!t going on. So, if you read this or just scrolled to the bottom cause its to fcking long be a little nicer today cause this post will be seamlessly lost among a bunch of other posts. To you shady reps out there that give the industry the name it is be a little less shady today maybe care a little. As I’m getting judged now lmao for those companies that push your people to be shady… well you probably won’t see this. To big VZ you control it all you squeezed the juice out the lemon. You’re going to and will continue to drink the lemonade. I will continue my journey and ultimately this is how I support my family. I’m going to continue what I do and I’m going to enjoy it. It just sucks that it gets harder and it’s not that it gets harder because it’s harder work. It gets harder because people make harder work to make more money. Have a wonderful day folks! All you great, good, ok workers and the ones that show up thank you. I guess even you shitty people too cause in the end you don’t control that either as long as you show up as well. Peace out said the rambling man!

Hey, recently returned player here. While you guys enjoy your pinnacles from last season, I still got to grind mine, so I take every opportunity, especially since amount of pinnacles per week is descreased now. Two of them require winning rounds in trials and winning 7 games of trials. Today I have played 11 games of trials so far. I have won one of them (and in that one game I got carried so hard I barely even seen enemies). Now, of course, I'm pretty bad at PvP, I suck at aiming, I have very little clue whats a decent PvP build (I use void hunter, but I feel like the only good part of the kit is super which I never get, and I really have no clue what else to pick). But still, 9% winrate??? I have tried dozens of weapons (upgraded them at least to 1800 of course): ace, no time to explain, wishender, crimson, osteo striga, quicksilver storm, jotunn, sniper rifles, shotguns, smg, sidearms. I just die with usually 0 to 30 damage dealt, period. Nothing works. Every game is an absolute stomp. Out of those 10 games there were maybe 2 somewhat close where we took like 3 rounds, everything else is 5-0/5-1. I have tried running with my team because teamshooting and revives. I have tried solo flanking while enemies are busy killing my team. I have tried corner camping. Literally nothing works. I don't know what to do. I don't care about pinnacles, I just want to win a second game but that seems plain impossible. I don't think it's about my build because most of the time I can't even press dodge before dying, let alone using grenade or melee. Sometimes I throw grenade before dying, but enemies just laugh and walk around it. I think I need help but I don't have a slightest clue how can I be helped at all. Apparently I'm the single worst PvP player in the whole Destiny, idk.

Hi all I'm new here and this my first post. To keep things short, my doctor said I had severe, chronic, medicine resistant depression, anxiety and pmdd, so I ended up doing 6 ketamine treatments. They worked out great. I felt mentally and physically great. I became pregnant 2 months after sessions were over. I guess that's where my body started acting out. During my last month of pregnancy, I developed bells palsy, likely due to stress (has not resolved yet).
When I gave birth, I developed post partum depression and anxiety. My anxiety was through the roof. My heartbeat was 120+ in the hospital and they wouldn't discharge me until they did an EKG (was fine). After that I'd have heartbeat up to 130 bpm while I'm laying down. I talked to my psychiatrist and he said to do a ketamine maintenance treatment. I just finished it Thursday and mentally, im doing good. I'm finally enjoying time with my newborn and I feel hopeful and excited about upcoming things.
Here is where it gets tricky: my body feels like crap. I slept 9 hours straight (w sleeping pills because I have bad insomnia) and I feel exhausted, as if I didn't sleep all night. On top of that, I have so much chest pain (stress related, last time it was this bad, my cholesterol shot up because of it and I never have or had issues with cholesterol). I'm in pain and I don't understand. My mind is clear and unaffected but my body is depressed and stressed. I have no clue what to do. I take hydroxyzine for stress when I need it but it can only do so much.

Part 2 of “The Exterminators RELOADED!”
A Fanfic of u/SpacePaladin15’s work “The nature of Predators” Thank you for the story!
IMPORTANT NOTICE. I AM WRITING ABOUT 247 EPISODES OF THE EXTERMINATORS. ANY IDEAS WOULD BE GREATLY WELCOMED! AS DETAILED OR NOT AS YOU WANT, I WILL CREDIT YOU FOR ANY HELP GIVEN!
---
Memory transcription subject: Henry, Venlil Primary School Student
Sylvan’s dad gestured for us to get the show set up while he walked into the kitchen. I couldn’t bring myself to sit still as the sound of popcorn in the microwave bounced through the house. Sylvan threw himself next to me as the annoyingly long series of logos started to parade through the screen.
“C’mon Dad! It’s starting!” We both held our arms up and caught a bag of popcorn as Mr. Smith copied Sylvan and threw himself on the couch. As Sylvan started to juggle the burning hot bag I started to mockingly mimic him. “Oh shut up! You and your built-in oven mitts!”
I batted Sylvan in the face who didn’t hesitate to try and hold off my attacks by smooshing me down into the chair. We both stopped when the Deep heavy beat of the Exterminators RELOADED started to play. This time though the beat didn’t stop as the opening sequence ended. Instead it played dully in the background like we were hearing it through a wall.
Friotetzali stepped into the scene and sauntered his way through an alley. He stopped and looked at a poster hanging on the wall. It showed a picture of a carrot and tomato with forward facing eyes and silly little stick arms cowering in fear of a ravenous looking Venlil. Plastered above it was the episode's title! “THE HERBIVOROUS BEASTS FROM BEYOND THE STARS!!!”
Frio let out a light chuckle as his tail curled in delight. “Oh that looks hilarious. Gotta remember to go see that.” He gently shook his head as he continued to walk and drop into an indifferent attitude as he approached a lone Mazic by a door. The two stared at each other for a moment before the Mazic slowly turned and opened the door.
With a slow and droning voice he addressed our head investigator. “He’s waiting for you by the dance floor. Doubt you’ll miss him. Welcome back Frio. Try not to burn the place down.” As the door opened the tune picked back up and was almost deafening. Frio walked down the dark staircase and eventually into a room filled with neon signs decorating the walls, strobe lights, lasers, and dozens of people dancing everywhere.
Our Harchen Hero cut through the crowd and haze like a fish through water before finally sitting down at a table with a rather… sleazy looking Gojid. “FRIO! MY OLD PAL! Have a seat! Let me get ya a drink!” The greased back fur of the Gojid just looked out of place as he waved for the servers to bring colorful beverages with little umbrellas over.
I honestly couldn’t make out any words that came out of the Gojid’s mouth after that. The dude just seemed to talk and not say any words. But eventually Frio took a slow sip from his drink and turned his head to stare down the greasy porcupine who’s quills extended in a little bit of fear.
“Cut the crap Genseng. I want to know why by Inatala’s tits you’d think it's a good idea to smuggle terran animals here!” He slammed a pawfull of photos on the table. Each one showed the greasy Gojid buying and selling small animals like rabbits and chickens.
Genseng sputtered and pouted “COME ON! I haven’t done anything that puts anyone at risk! I just sell human’s xeno-safe pets! A bunny never ate a Dossur! Don’t you want humans to take care of the petting addiction on things that want to be pet?” Despite my body telling me this guy was bad news, I couldn’t help but agree. I’ve been ‘pet’ more times than I would like by strange humans… and a few Venlil… and one Kolshian… and I ran away from the Mazic.
Frio sat back in his chair and huffed. “Then WHY have I found NO civilians with one of your pets?” This time he slapped down a paper list of names and places that clearly documented each and every business he sold animals to.
The scumbag sat there with a look of shock on his face and started to sputter out several noncommittal and contradictory statements. ALl the while Frio stared at his “friend” with more and more disgust. Eventually Genseng just sighed, stood up, and shouted. "GUN! HES GOT A GUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” and bolted for the back door as screaming began to fill the room
Frio just casually stood up and watched that douchebag flee! He pulled out his badge and announced to the crowd. “FALSE ALARM! FALSE ALARM! OFFICER FRIOTETZALI, HERE ON OFFICIAL BUSINESS OF THE AVALON CITY POLICE! REMAIN CALM YOU ARE IN NO DANGER!”
I couldn’t understand why he was just standing there as the bad guy ran away! The camera cut to Genseng who was sprinting full force down a narrow hall dodging all manner of obstacles like it was an action movie only for it to cut back to Frio slowly taking a sip of his drink!
Again it cut back Genseng huffing and wheezing as he sprinted through his own shipping operation. The only pauses he took were to open up cages causing a small whirlwind of feathers and bunnies to start in the warehouse. Yet Frio started to casually talk to the people in the room. He just slowly went around reassuring everyone that everything was fine and why he was here.
As I sat there in disbelief that he’d just let the bastard run away Genseng rounded a corner to see his getaway truck. Only to step around the corner and get punched squarely in the gut by Iloralia who was hiding there.
“Come on Genseng? Couldn’t you do something original? This is starting to get boring!” Ilo extended a cattle prod and let the end buzz with electricity as an Extermination Officer van pulled up behind her.
The Gojid let out raspy breaths. “Should have- … figured- … he’d send his- … BITCH! To wait in the alley!” The sleazy man sucked that insult back in when Ilo pressed the business end of her cattle prod to his throat.
“Shut the fuck up. You have the right to remain silent, but for your sake… I hope you’re smart enough to use it!” Ilo’s tail waved behind her with delight as Sephon climbed out of the van with a Gojid arrestor vest to cover Genseng’s quills and bind his arms.
I jumped as the video smash-cut to Sephon slamming down piece after piece of evidence on an interrogation room table in front of a nervous Gojid and his exhausted human lawyer. The angelic Tasamine sat on her perch gently drinking some tea as our perturbed Venlil explained each and every paper and photo that he threw on the table.
“Finally we have you on felony tax evasion. You do know you have to declare ALL sources of income right?” Genseng sheepishly looked to his lawyer, who just sat there with a defeated look on his face. “You are looking at forty years behind bars for this Genseng! FORTY!”
Tasamine let her voice coo out over her cup of tea. “We aren’t going to do you any favours over the tax stuff. The IRS is over our jurisdiction on that, BUT we are prepared to drop the rest of the charges.”
Genseng’s lawyer appeared to wake up in an instant and elbowed his client before he could open his filthy mouth. “So what do you want from my client in return for dropping the charges you have against him?”
Tas let out a little smile that set butterflies to flight in my stomach. “We want everyone that Tas sold animals to. And we do mean EVERYONE.”
Sephon started to pace back and forth as the Gojid and lawyer talked amongst themselves. Eventually Genseng relented and turned to our heroes. “Ok… SO I technically never really sold to a person per say… BUT I kept really good papers on all the businesses I did sell to!”
The conversation started to dull out as the camera began to pan back and into the observation room with Frio, Ilo, and a rather small Mazic. Frio stood stoically silent, his paw held gently under his jaw, lost in thought. Ilo was typing away on the computer crosschecking every business Genseng sold out.
The Mazic took a step forward. His badge now clearly showing that he was the Chief of the Avalon City Police. “I know those businesses… Why would he be selling pets to…” The Chief huffed and stormed out of the observation room leaving Frio and Ilo slightly confused only to watch with an ounce of shock as the Police Chief walked into the interrogation room.
“YOU FUCKING IDIOT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?” Genseng recoiled away from the angry Chief as his lawyer was trying to figure out what was happening. “YOU HAVE BEEN SELLING HUMAN PETS AS FOOD TO HUMANS! YOU KNOW LESS THAN ONE PERCENT OF HUMANS EVEN EAT ONCE-LIVE MEAT! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT! MOST HUMANS GET VIOLENTLY ILL AT THE THOUGHT OF IT AND STRAIGHT VIOLENT IF TRICKED INTO IT! IF THIS GETS OUT THERE WILL BE RIOTS!”
Genseng’s lawyer slowly looked to his client with a look of anger and despair plastered on his face. The sleazy man just kinda shrugged. “I didn’t make them buy it!”
“BUT YOU DIDN’T TELL THEM WHERE YOU GOT THE MEAT FROM DID YOU?”
“no?”
“OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T ‘CAUSE, HOW THEN, WOULD YOU GET RID OF YOUR UNWANTED ANIMALS?”
“HEY! I’VE GOT A GUY WHO TAKES THEM IN! I MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS HUMANE AND SAFE FOR CONSUMPTION AND ANYTHING UNWANTED GO TO THAT GUY! OK? NO MONEY TRANSACTION! … I think he ships them back to Earth or something. No unethical stuff… except maybe selling Once-live as Cloned… but that isn’t that bad! Humans only just considered Rabbits to be on par with dogs!”
The Chief of Police just stood there menacingly as the ever beautiful Tas asked a question. “Who is this man you give the animals to?”
Genseng slowly walked back to his seat. “I don’t have a name. Just some dude wearing the old face hiding masks and a Pleather trench coat. Kinda creepy and usually lets the fat Venlil do the talking, but they scratch my back I scratch thier’s.”
The screen faded to black before coming back to their conference room and joined by the Chief of Police. “So you think this individual is the same one behind the Sheep Operation?”
Ilo sat up in her chair. “It seems to meet up with his M.O. of undermining food production.”
Tas brought a pair of population maps up on their projector. “Just looking at the before and after, the invasive rabbit population was miniscule at best. We had been doing a great job of catching them faster than they could repopulate. At least until their population unpredictably exploded into the hundreds of thousands.”
She swapped out the maps for a single one that showed several areas circled in red. “DNA testing on the rabbits has shown that they aren’t spreading naturally. One population has no genetic relation to the others even though their areas overlap. It has to be someone introducing rabbits in waves to different locals.”
The Chief slowly shook his head. “Do we have any clues as to where the masked man is?”
Frio’s tail curled in delight. “Why yes! Yes we do! He has a meetup with my good buddy Genseng who desperately doesn’t want to spend the next forty years in jail.”
The small Mazic let out a low and insidious laugh “OH! I think I know where you are going with this. You have my support. Let's get this sting operation set up!”
In an instant the day flew by and night rose over the docks of Avalon City. Genseng drove down the roads and pulled around the corner of a large warehouse situated nearby. The sleazy man looked oddly calm. I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t his first time ratting.
Overlooking the docks from the warehouse was our team of heroes. Tas had set up a network of monitors and was observing the operation. Several disguised vans were parked nearby filled with Extermination Officers all biting to get a hold of their quarry.
Frio walked over and placed a paw on Tasamine’s wing, before speaking into a recorder. “Looking good Gen. Looks like I misplaced the paperwork on those charges. Get through this and I won’t have time to go looking for it!”
Gen let out a small chuckle. “Hey Frio… Do you miss when we were kids? Getting into trouble. Scraping enough money together to buy lunch when our parents couldn’t afford to feed us?”
Frio took a step back from the monitors. “You said that in a really weird way… but yeah. Just the two of us. Sometimes we were delinquents scamming someone out of five credits and sometimes we were the heroes helping people out. Guess we took different paths…”
The greasy Gojid leaned back in the driver seat of his van. “I- … I am kinda tired of living Frio… It’s just… One deal after another with barely enough money to get from one job to the next… Do- … Do you think I could get a job working with you guys?”
It almost looked like Frio was going to cry as his eyes watered up. “Well… we are a man down at the moment, but my team only hires experienced individuals. It would be hard work, but if you joined as an apprentice and applied yourself… I think you could make it.”
Genseng sat and fiddled with his paws for a few moments. “Even with my arrest record?”
“We are the Exterminators not the City Police. I doubt there isn’t a single one of us that hasn't done something that would get us blacklisted by them!”
Gen let out a light laugh. “Ah good point! They hired you! Well I’d- Wait. He's here.”
A long black limousine pulled up around the corner. Slowly and silently stopping beside them. Frio took a step back. “Alright everyone. It's go time. Gen, get ready to duck down if they open fire.”
With almost perfect unison every unmarked van and cruiser lit up with Yellow and Orange lights and started to race towards the Limo. But with a heart stopping ‘BWOOOOOM’ the Limo exploded into an inferno, sending metal flying through the docks at high speeds.
Gen’s voice screamed over the radio for a brief moment before falling silent.
The next sounds we heard were of a heart monitor. Frio sat at the bedside of what I assumed to be Genseng. His body was covered entirely in bandages, with tubes running into his head and arms. Wires tracked his vital signs and, while steady, didn’t look like they broadcasted good news.
Frio looked up to see Ilo leaning in the doorway. “The limo was automated. No one on board. Mask either knew it was a setup or intended to end Genseng one way or the other.” She slowly walked over to Frio and nuzzled the side of his head. “I talked with the Doctors. They think he’ll make it. Might be a few years, and he will have to learn how to do most things, but he will live.”
Ilo forced her way into awkwardly cuddling Frio. After a small moment of resisting he accepted the embrace and leaned back. “How are we on tracking down the leads?”
She somehow managed to wrap herself around Frio as she quietly responded. “The limo was a dead end. Everything was bought from scrap and assembled off-grid. Camera networks were wiped clean enough that even Tas couldn’t scrape something off of the hard drives. DNA results on the rabbits gave us enough to work with Earth and track down the suppliers on that side, but they were using Genseng as a scapegoat and intermediary for all of it. I don’t think he even realized that the man he was ‘giving’ rabbits to was the man that arranged for him to be able to buy them in the first place.”
Frio wrapped his arms around her. “So this whole operation was basically a money laundering scam with rabbits. They scarred him for life just to- to-” Tears ran down his cheeks as the pair embraced each other. The credits started to roll over the sounds of a heart monitor slowly pinging on. Gentle sobbing slowly faded away as the sound of claws on tile echoed through the speakers.
A rather portly Venlil was flanked on both sides by massive looking dogs. Sylvan’s Dad pointed out those where Karelian Bear Dogs. Bred to actually hunt one of Earth’s apex predators. The Fat Venlil, or Chublil as Sylvan said, walked into an immaculate office, where a man with a silvered mask and brown trench coat sat.
“Sir? Operation Clean House is over. The results are one Gojid launderer hospitalized. He is expected to recover in a few years. When the exterminators watching him clear out an agent will enter with an air-filled syringe and fake death by heart-attack. As you expected the last meetup was a sting operation. Police remain slightly aware of your presence.”
A robotic voice came from the man. “Good work Gavreg. Did you enjoy your trip to Earth?”
“Yessir. You were right. Bear meat is simply divine when prepared correctly.”
WHAT THE FUCK. WHY WOULD HE KNOW WHAT THAT TASTES LIKE?!?
“Glad to hear it. As for the Gojid, I think he’s gotten the message on what happens to people who cross us. Send him a normal fruit basket when he regains consciousness. Have it say… Sorry you got fired! Take a siesta!”
“Very well sir. Just to be clear, hold off on permanently silencing him?”
“Hrm… Yes. He was always amusing to work with.”
“Very well sir. If there is nothing else, I shall take my leave.”
The Fat Venlil turned and walked out of the room. Ending the episode and leaving the three of us sitting on the couch.
“You know Loural is going to throw a fit if she finds out we let both Sylvan and Henry watch this!”
I wasn’t proud but at least the humans screamed louder than I did.
---
Special thanks to u/Dinomannick for the prompt
"I got a few ideas for the show. How about a few episodes have them dealing with invasive earth species on alien worlds, brought there for zoos, rich blokes pet, criminals, whatever. They have either catch or kill all of them before their establishing breeding populations and have the cane toad/rabbit problem like down-under. Think it might be interesting enough for future space TV?"
I hope this lived up to your expectations, and the bunny boom won't be relegated to just this episode either.
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Links are still broken cause reddit is more like brokeit... Will get around to fixing them soon, real life has been kinda hectic
​
Previous!

So I never used to have this issue I've been celiac diagnosed for 6 years if not longer. I've gone on multiple trips and no matter where I went they typically had in-hotel breakfasts I could enjoy. But lately within the last year or so-they'll promise a breakfast and I'll go down and the only thing I can have is a bowl of cereal and yogurt. Because everything else is waffles or biscuit gravy or biscuits and bagels. All things I cannot eat.
This used to never happen and the place I'm at right now is actually pretty nice so I was so excited to see breakfast this morning only to get hit with the reality. This is the second time this has happened and I have no clue how to avoid going to hotels like this in the future and how you even know which places mean an ACTUAL breakfast.

Book 6: The City of Blue Fire

So the final buildup to the climax begins! We seem to be more solidly in the payoff section of the novel, with only a few revelations and theories this time around. Additionally, most of the cast we follow seem to be hitting their point of no return, we're on this roller-coaster and cant get off until it stops. That the dread didn't set in until it began clicking its way to the top is more your fault. The title is plenty evocative too, and if I had to guess, we'll be seeing more of the Darujhistan cast this time around.

Epigraph

Another issue of Rumor Born that seems to be recapping the events of the last few books in Darujhistan. What's interesting is it's final mention of the fête to end off.
For fun:
First came the Eel "or not one but a thousand" Is that literal, or merely a reference to their reach? I'll speak more to the Eel during the chapter breakdown below. What's also interesting is that the poem mentions they came "under a jagged moon that might be dead" We see from this that Rumor Born or Fisher in general is not authoritative. The work is literally recounting what rumors there are on the street, and whether or not there's anyone left living in Moon's Spawn is one of those. What this seems to indicate is that the Eel's influence couldn't be popularly felt until after Rake arrived.
"a claw scraped slow//on the city's cobbles" Kalam mistaken for a Claw (easy mistake) Rake is the "dragon... seen sailing high silver and black in the night sky" descending onto Pearl, who gave out the "demon's death cry"
The Tiste Andii were responsible for when "a master's hundred hands lost//a hundred daggers to the dark"
Which are all things that have happened in the past, the fête, ominously, has yet to occur, yet its mere invitation is counted among these City shaking events.

Chapter 17

Book 6's introduction. Overall, there isn't yet much to differentiate this from Book 5 other than setting, but we'll see how that develops. So without further ado...

Epigraph

The Chapter Itself -

- begins following Rallick Nom into the Phoenix Inn. Before entering, he is stopped by Meese who, after flirting with RN, for a moment, warns the assassin of someone asking after him. Someone who knew to sit at Kruppe's table, no less. He enters and notes, amused, for the first time how crowds part before him. He sits down, and the man (whom we are later told is Circle Breaker) warns him, on behalf of the Eel, of a contract sealed by Councilman Turban Orr with the Assassins' Guild against Lord Coll. The Assassin, Ocelot, merely waits for the Lord to return to the city. The Eel also applauds RN and Murillio's attempts to avenge Coll, and offers any assistance they would require. Rallick turns him down, and thanks him for the warning, after a quick drink with Iralta and Meese, he leaves the Inn to act on the information.
So, I had considered bringing this up before, but was on shakier ground then specualtion-wise. But now, its Speculation Time. Kruppe is the Eel, in my mind. We find out latter that Meese and Iralta are also in on the whole thing, so that's already ties to the Phoenix Inn. Kruppe obviously has no fear that the Eel would contradict him when lying to Baruk, and is able to mimic the Eel's method of cryptic hints perfectly. It fits his style of appearing far less than he is, in this case, he's a masquerading as a political lackey. Both the Eel and Kruppe were able to find out about the scheme against Coll without any slip-ups on the part of our conspirators. I believe this to be because of the poisoned bolt. Turban Orr was investigating it, and only someone who knew Rallick's MO could trace that back to him, and only someone who knew Rallick personally could understand that the bolt was initially meant for Lady Simtal rather than Councilman Lim. After all, the death of Orr's majority is too convenient to assume anything besides a political motive. The Eel heard wind of investigations regarding a poisoned bolt, and understood that his friend was behind it and why.* There were other things that had tipped me off, but those were the big ones that I can remember at present.
*Additionally, given that both Baruk and Crone felt Oppon's interference, and the uncharachteristic nature of the plan, it is highly probable that Kruppe felt the interference as well and later recognized what that interference was, hence his coy hint last chapter.
Baruk, meanwhile, is sulking alongside Anomander Rake, wondering why the Tiste Andii would ever allow the Imass and the Adjunct into the barrow. The tension between the two grows, as their diametrically opposed views on the world continue to breakdown communication and raise conflict between the two. In conflict, the Lord of Moon's Spawn excels. He explains to the High Alchemist that Laseen will have her fight, and capture Darujhistan whole if at all possible. Eliminating the Jaghut Tyrant and Rake are merely two additional tasks to maintain the long-term sustainability of the Empire. Rake hasn't nuked the city and left, because he wants to beat Laseen directly, a total victory where she losses what she desires without the world losing it as well. Baruk notes that Anomander Rake could always betray Darujhistan, but Rake notes that becoming himself a traitor would legitimize any treason against him. He even notes several individual who could defeat him under certain circumstances.
Baruk uses Rake's "Son of Darkness" moniker, and Rake rejects it as a title used by those who would worship him. Interesting. Being the child of a god would net you that, I suppose. He maintains the honest (if brutal) route in life not out of fear but duty. Duty to the ever-dwindling population of Tiste Andii, who merely run down the clocks of their lives dispassionately, obeying orders yes, but merely as a function of enduring their existence. He could run and hide, saving his people's lives, but they would be living in body only, so he follows cause after cause, attempting to revive their spirits. (Also of note, he mentioned that the Tiste Andi live roughly 20 thousand years, so I'm not sure where I'd gotten my deep time understanding of them, unless Rake's lifespan is extended the same relative amount as a human mage's would be)
Baruk is unsure how to respond, the plight of the Tiste is so incomprehensible that he can only muster the most abstract pity. So he returns the conversation to the Jaghut Tyrant. Will Rake be able to defeat it? Who knows, but killing him would render the Tyrant greatly reduced, possibly even to a level where the Cabal can eliminate him. Alternatively, killing the Tyrant would reduce AR, so that the Malazans may someday eliminate him. Two birds, one and a half stones. It is the Cabal that scares the Empress, an unknown, which is why our malazans seek out Vorcan. Beyond this, Oppon's meddling continually draws attention from the gods of the world, interested to see if immoral blood would be spilled. This began with Rake's killing of the two Hounds.
They finish the conversation by assessing the condition of Mammot, trapped in a slumber, his mind/soul stuck in his D'riss warren, rulled by the Worm of Autumn, D'rek, of whom Mammot is a High Preist. D'riss is evidently the Warren of earth magic, so I wonder if Caladan Brood will have or has had any interactions with the scholar. Mammot went off to investigate the barrow at Baruk's request, and wound up in this state. All of the Elder magic and Otataral present have messed with him somehow, and he cannot be freed until the Jaghut is. In which case, there will be a narrow window to save him before the High Preist, and his goddess, are subsumed by the Tyrant.
Crokus and Apsalar return to Darujhistan, despite wanting to be rid of the woman as soon as possible, Crokus is disappointed when the City does not impress her. They enter Mammot's study, finding a mess rather than the man himself. When wondering whether Rallick would know anything of this, Apsalar reacts strongly, likely prompted by her time under the Rope. For the first time since Book 2, we enter the PoV of Circle Breaker. After receiving a sign from an old woman, he delivers an additional sign to Meese. Internally, however, he cannot help but assume his days are numbered. He's acting in public, and how long until Turban Orr adds together that the same guard present at all of his leaked meetings is himself a mole? He expects to die soon, but is resolved to maintain his course until the last, heading for one final contact he considers redundant. Meese acts on the signal, approaching the building Mammot stays in, and knocking on the door. Crokus answers, disappointed that she is not his Uncle, and confused as to why she would be there. Crokus catches her up with Aps' amnesia, and notes they have not spoken to anyone but one stabler. Meese informs them of the death of the guard at the D'Arle estate, and Crokus takes this to be a betrayal on Chalice's part. That's... not a betrayal buddy. Aps' mention of Chalice clues Meese in on the situation surrounding the death, and despite the boy's protestations, she takes the situation at face value.
As they prepare to leave, Serrat stalks them, resolving to kill another watcher in the shadows, (I assume Irilta, given that she's backup) and replace her. She's been hunting the Coin Bearer on Rake's orders and we learn that she was one of the individuals hunting Crokus along the rooftops in Ch. 5. There's not much more to this scene, other than a couple odd details I'll note.
Kruppe and Murillio reach the Phoenix Inn, not finding their friends. Kruppe strangely waves aside the news of Rallick Nom meeting someone here earlier, and instead of reporting to Baruk right away, instead opts to enjoy a tankard of beer. This, coincidently opens a window for Circle Breaker to approach him with a message.
Rallick Nom, meanwhile, prepares to take on Ocelot. The clan leader will have all the advantages, and RN will have one shot at best, assuming he can even find him and get close enough. He does, however, posses an anti-magic powder (supplied by Baruk) which could potentially even the battle field. Moments after recalling the warning from the High Alchemist against applying it to bare skin, Rallick, knowing his chances are slim, fearing that Coll's death would remove the last claim on humanity he has left, he rubs the dust into his bare skin, all over. What sort of changes will this effect onto our assassin? Who knows! The chapter ends with RN swearing he will find and kill Ocelot undetected.
And there we go! Book 6 is starting off with a banger, once again tying ever more threads together tighter and tighter, promising one heck of a payoff. I, for one, cannot wait to see how it all unfolds!

2023 Results (So Far): +18.78 Units
2022 Results: +73.185 Units
All Time: +92 Units

Full transparency, I run a MMA betting service called Provide Picks. We have been operating for roughly a year and a half completely tracked and verifiable with a return of over 96 units in that short time. You can find our full tracking sheet history here and you can also see a bunch of customer testimonials and betting slips throughout that time here.
Me myself, I have watched MMA religiously for more than 10 years and trained for over 4.5 years, I love this sport so I figured why not help bring some insight and analysis to others! Now this isn’t a sales pitch, I know how Reddit works and I really enjoy the opinions shared on this sub-reddit so I genuinely want to help contribute and if you enjoy the output, please feel free to join the team! We are proven to be profitable long-term so if you have some spare change to invest at any level, you love the sport and are interested in improving your knowledge - come over and check us out at providepicks.com. As we have a fair base of paying members, it wouldn’t be fair to them to share every single one of our bets however I want to provide as much value for this betting community as people, hopefully to help you guys see a different angle in terms of MMA betting and long-term profitability and more importantly - sending these bookies broke.
Anyways enough waffle - let’s get into this week’s shenanigans. This is a surprisingly fun fight night card, I love these events that are lower on name value but just full of decent talent and exciting matchups. This is definitely one of them and generally when you have slightly lesser talent stacked fight nights, you have a night full of violence and finishes - let’s see if that continues in this one. Onto the breakdowns!
Maxim Grishin (32-9-2) vs. Philipe Lins (16-5):
Grishin is a tall, orthodox fighter who is just a real good mixed martial artist. He is a big frame for the LHW division, is strong and still has fairly slow, plodding style of movement and footwork. Is good in the clinch, very good at holding position by winning underhooks and using his big head to frame against the neck of his opponent and keep them in position for taxing knees to the body and just wearing on them with his big frame. I like his ability to keep the fight in his range, using slight forward pressure and a decent feint game to his advantage. Can be a little heavy set on the lead leg so should look out for the speedy outside leg kick of Lins in this one - Grishin is also pretty handy at catching the body kick and punishing. Personally, never been massively high on Lins in his career, admittedly he has looked better since dropping to his proper weight class post juice cycle but it is against weak competition. He is OK everywhere but not great anywhere, I do like his hand-speed with his boxing combos especially when pressuring forward. I think he mixes in takedowns well in his game at times but he can also be held against the cage. I probably slightly edge Lins in terms of cardio but I also do think this is a massive watch the scales fight due to Grishin’s size and propensity for bad weight cuts. This is a tough fight to call given both guys are fairly unimpressive. I favour the speed of Lins with the hand-speed and kicks definitely but he doesn’t set them up intelligently. I think Grishin can hold Lins against the cage, wear on him with his size and win minutes. I capped this fight 50/50 and I think we see a close fight, will take Maxim Grishin by UD but with very low confidence.
BET: No bet.
Luan Lacerda (12-2) vs. Da'Mon Blackshear (12-5-1):
I like what I saw on debut from Lacerda - he has a very Muay Thai style of fighting, very flat-footed with a high guard, move forward pressuring with the lead leg ready to pop up and check kicks quickly. He has sharp, fast hands and particularly his hooks to the body are very technically sound. Against Stamann he was able to mix some grappling in when it suited but it is clear he is more of an Aldo style fighter that prefers to stuff takedowns and keep it on the feet. Coming up against Blackshear here who I have been very impressed with even though he is off 2 losses. Da’mon is a super well rounded guy, I like his creative offence on the feet and I also like his offensive grappling ability on the ground too. Defensively, he leave a little more to be desired and can be a little comfortable with fighting off his back which I don’t particularly like. We haven’t seen too much grappling from Lacerda so will be interested to see how he fares in this one but I think the technicality of Lacerda on the feet, the ability to mix his targets to the head, body and legs and just land the more damaging strikes will edge him this one. Taking Luan Lacerda by UD.
BET: No bet.
Jinh Yu Frey (11-8) vs. Elise Reed (6-3):
I would be doing a disservice to everyone who reads this if I honestly told you with any level of confidence that you should put your hard earned money anywhere near this fight. Don’t, simple as that.
Daniel Santos (10-2) vs. Johnny Munoz Jr. (12-2):
This is a super fun matchup between two very efficient grapplers which should make for a exciting scrap here. Let’s start with Daniel Santos, if you knew nothing of this guy and watched him fight and had half a clue on MMA, you would know immediately that he is a Chute Boxe fighter. He has relentless forward pressure, irresponsible boxing defence and is a very kill or be killed style fighter. I like his stalking style, but he has little head movement besides the pull counter really, likes to pressure you until that back foot is up against the cage and then explode in with spinning attacks or elbows from weird angles. He keeps his hands high but then head on centre line and thus far has shown some crazy durability but this can only get you so far. Looks to have solid grappling, not accepting bottom position and constantly looking to invert and throw up submissions. Against Arce he looked good however Arce was able to be elusive with his footwork, stick and move and use angles well to counter in and out of range. I think against anyone who can effectively stay on the outside and use smart, straight shots effectively, he will struggle. I just don’t think that guy is Munoz JR on the feet - he is clunky, doesn’t throw in combinations and looks to parry alot of shots defensively which I really don’t like against a guy who throws wild, unorthodox strikes in Santos. He is a solid wrestler with some good offensive TD numbers but he has to be careful not to shoot unintelligently and throw himself into a submission which will make him hesitant and have to strike. I think Munoz’s wins have been against low level guys who aren’t in the promotion anymore and I think this is a bad stylistic fight for him. I think Santos will land the more damaging shots and I fancy he gets him out of here in under 2 rounds. Taking Daniel Santos via TKO RD 1.
BET: Like the look of the Santos moneyline, fancy Santos Inside the Distance too but will wait to see what price this opens at. If we get anything in the realm of +125 to -120, I would look at a 1.5 unit play. Under 2.5 rounds is an option also depending on price, I think it will probably be around the -200 to -250 play so anything south of that will be a play too.
Andrei Arlovski (34-21) vs. Don'Tale Mayes (9-5):
Huge experience edge to the old-dawg here in Arlovski. Mayes has been everything but impressive thus far in his UFC career and I don’t know how you could be intrigued to play either side in this one. Mayes can hit hard and is reasonably athletic for the HW division but skill for skill outside the boxing, he doesn’t offer a lot. I couldn’t be confident on ever betting him to be quite honest. You know what you’re going to get with Arlovski and that is volume, if his chin can handle what is coming back at him. He is a special for split decisions so if you’re a degen and want action, look to that but for me, no interest here. Will take the side of Andrei Arlovksi via UD using his volume and experience but you couldn’t be more lower confidence.
John Castañeda (19-6) vs. Muin Gafurov (18-4) :
Gafurov taking this on short-notice with Castaneda set to take on Mendonca before that was cancelled and replaced with possibly the furthest opposite style of fighter. The Gafurov gameplan is simple, contest on the feet, use blitz attacks such as looping overhands when moving forward followed by a double leg against the cage and rely on his Sambo capabilities to hold top position and out-work his opponent. Castañeda is a guy that doesnt get a huge amount of spotlight but I like his game alot. He has nice footwork, good striking out of southpaw and orthodox, has good wrestling entries and is able to grapple competitively, just a solid all around mixed martial artist. In this one, I really favour the movement and footwork of Castañeda and I think the speed is going to give Gafurov issues. Castañeda is sitting at a 60% TD Defence rate which is concerning against a guy who will consistently shoot like Gafurov, but I think Castañeda will be hard to find, using the angles in and out of the pocket and throwing quick shots up the middle to dissuade and make Gafurov think. I like John Sexi Mexi Castañeda to win this one by UD.
BET: No lines opened yet but have capped Castañeda as a 60% winning chance.
Elizeu Zaleski (23-7) vs. Abubakar Nurmagomedov (17-3-1):
Zaleski is an interesting fighter to me. Good sprawl, solid TD Def against the cage, good balance and strength to win underhooks. Quite a flat-footed striker, not a massive amount of footwork but I like his rear leg power kick, he hits the body well and switches levels nicely. Relatively low volume and works single shots mainly without a massive amount of feinting. The frequency that he fights worries me but it has been the story of his career. Abubakr is the typical Dagestani fighter, limited stand up basically a quick overhand right and other single shots, tied in with a grinding, gruelling wrestling pace. He seems on the lower end of the Nurmagomedov scale in terms of skill, often leaving himself open to submission when in top control whether it’s knee-bars or even the common triangle. He is able to hold a good pace over 15 mins which is good given how top heavy and smothering he can be at times. He fights out of both stances, looks more comfortable out of OD but if he fights SP, I think he will lose this fight. Zaleski is too sharp on the feet especially with the body kicks and straight shots which will only be accentuated in the opposite stances. I also think the knees for Zaleski are going to be huge here, he throws them with bad intentions in the centre and against the cage which tied in with his teeps and front kicks are a dangerous sight for Abubakr. Abubakr is a good chance at smothering the fire power of Zaleski and just wearing on him but I think he is dangerous enough off his back to survive and challenge at times and I expect the damage will start to add up on the Zaleski side and I think we see a finish. Taking Elizeu Zaleski via TKO RD 2.
BET: Zaleksi ITD will be a play if over +200. Moneyline odds are probably bang on.
Guram Kutateladze (12-3) vs. Jamie Mullarkey (16-5):
Guram has a K1 kickboxing background and it shows, very high level on the feet with good head movement and sharp, unpredictable strikes set up with a smart feint game. He has really good distance management, uses great fundamentals and is super quick with his hand-speed and he finishes combos with kicks which I love, its that kickboxing mentality. He fights out of All Stars which shows in his TD Defence especially against the fence, he is clearly strong but has very good wrestling and counter wrestling technique. He has had a super high level of competition and performed very well in wins and losses, we just don’t see him active enough due to injuries and bad luck. Mullarkey is an absolute junkyard dog, pushing the pace and moving forward with intense pressure making you fight every second of that 15 minutes. He like to engage in the pocket, for better or worse, and in recent times we have seen his wrestling really shine through some of these tough scraps. He has a nice jab which I expect to be pumping prior to every combo and entry for Mullarkey. I just think at this point in his career this is quite a tough fight for Mullarkey. Guram is a super high-level striker with a good base for stuffing takedowns and keeping the fight in kickboxing range. I expect Mullarkey to want to close distance and engage, I just don’t think defensively he is strong enough to absorb and adapt to the speed and combinations of Guram and I think we see that chin tested for Mullarkey. I think this is a bit of a step down in competition for Guram although if Mullarkey can get some early takedowns it will be interesting to see the gastank of Guram tested. The activity is always a question mark but at this point I think Guram should win this handily, will be taking Guram Kutateladze via TKO RD 2.
BET: Wouldn’t touch Guram at -350 but he should win.
Karine Silva (15-4) vs. Ketlen Souza (13-3):
Silva should win here but at that price, even blind Freddie could see that this is a pass on the moneylines. Silva actually has a high finishing ability in terms of WMMA, so if we can get a good price on a fight doesnt go the distance line, that could be an option here.
BET: Wait for round lines to drop.
Tim Elliott (18-12-1) vs. Victor Altamirano (12-2):
Altamirano is a SP fighter, fairly unusual style of striking with sort of a Tony Ferguson style mixed in with some well timed takedown attempts. He has very little power in his strikes but OK volume. Defensively, he leaves a lot to be desired with a modified sort of philly shell style where his lead hand is low and near the hip, he does get hit and often but he has shown very good durability. His takedowns worry me at times because he is very content to dip his head to an advancing opponent and run a double or single leg, he is very open to knees and front kicks up the middle. Tim Elliott lives up to his nickname of “Awkward” extremely well. He has bizarre head movement, footwork and feints that all tie in to his sort of herky jerky style of fighting. He is able to tie his wrestling game in very well, I’d say technically he is far more technically sound than Victor. He does put himself into submission opportunities with some of his entries but im not too worried about that in this fight. This has the potential to be one of the worst fights we have seen TBH and only because of how weird and unorthodox these guys are, the awkwardness really has the potential to make this fight a strange one. I am pretty confident that Tim has the grappling/wrestling edge and also the more diverse and comfortable striker, the recent occurrence with Tim and Gina Mazany in the media does give me pause that he might be coming into this too emotional but I think it may fire him up to really perform. I think Tim is under his value here and can win in a multitude of ways, going to take Tim Elliott via UD.
BET: Tim Elliott Moneyline -175 (2 Units to win 1.14 Units)
Jim Miller (35-17) vs. Jared Gordon (19-6):
I will keep this one short and simple, Gordon is a really bad stylistic matchup for Miller and would win probably 7/10 times currently BUT he is returning way too soon after getting KO’d by that headbutt from Bobby Green. Gordon has good wrestling and generally good durability with a knack for pushing these grinding paces and outworking and outlasting his opponent. Pair that up with good submission defence and thats a horror fight for A10 Miller. But you can never count Jim out, he hits hard for a vet, he is unorthodox and he has the potential to catch you. For me, Gordon should roll here but I love to play Jim Miller round one given that is his money round - have cashed plenty on this through his career! Short breakdown and not a thorough one, I think Jared Gordon should win this fight but I think it is too soon. I will take Jared Gordon via UD**,** but take it with a pinch of salt.
BET: Jim Miller wins round 1 (price not available yet, .75 units)
Alex Caceres (20-13) vs. Daniel Pineda (28-14):
Haven’t had time to break this one down yet but will update if any bets come off it!
Kai Kara-France (24-10) vs. Amir Albazi (16-1):
KKF is a kickboxing fighter who we have seen develop nicely through his career in the UFC. He has worked tirelessly on his takedown defence and it shows in his huge improvement in ability to not only stuff shots but his ability to use the cage and his excellent balance to keep his feet underneath him. I think KKF’s hands are still fairly rudimentary and not necessarily in a bad way, he uses the jab decently well and relies on the 1,2 sometimes too much. For his weight, he has good power and one area I really like are his leg kicks, he has solid rear leg power kicks that he lands very efficiently off the back of his straight shots. Albazi is more of a grappler in nature with a majority of his victories by submission but I have liked what I have seen from him on the feet also. He has a sharp, snappy jab which he works off the back of and allows to dictate the fight. He has a pretty limited kicking game and in terms of kick defence, I expect KKF to really try and exploit the lack of checking and the heavy set stature of Albazi. In the grappling realm, I don’t think it’s close. Albazi has some elite scrambles on the mat and if you’re content to sit in his guard, he has some really damaging ground and pound in which he will equally target your head and body and punish you and wear on you. Albazi is far superior in terms of grappling but the question is will he be able to get it down to the mat? I think his timing going under the big right hand will be an option and I think he will be able to use his strength advantage when in close to muscle certain movements. This is a big step up in competition and his first venture into main event rounds which is a worry. This is going to be a fun fight and I am really looking forward to it but I think as long as everything looks good after weigh-ins, I will be on the Albazi side. He is improving with every fight and I think we see him get this fight to the ground and wear on KKF, eventually finding a submission, probably a RNC. Taking Amir Albazi via SUB RD 3.
BET: Will wait to see what round lines are set at. Will be looking at the Albazi Inside the Distance line also.
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And that wraps up the breakdowns for this week! We send our followers the full betting cards on Saturday morning here in Australia, post weigh-ins. Nothing worse than betting on a fighter pre weigh-in, just to see him look like complete shit on the scales. We will post some of our betting card here incase anyone is interested!
Good luck, always gamble responsibly and remember to hang around long-term because there will be ups and downs but trust the process and we will build some bankroll. Would love to know if you agree or disagree anywhere and let us know who you are riding with below. Enjoy the fights! - Dylan.

[First]() [Prev]()
This took an unbearable amount of time, sorry, I was busy with tests and you know… school stuff, it's not looking good for my writing, I pretty much only have free time with my phone for only 2 hours a day except for weekends. As a compensation for the ridiculous amount of time this chapter took, it's going to be extra long, and have action parts again (kind of) and some gore, enjoy!
—-~----
"What was it again?"
"Schen- i mean Schon"
"Right, what got you here, near the edge and all? It's a nice edge, but still an edge"
"Desperate for work I guess, I assume you're the same?"
Schon… no, Schen… answered as he took a sip out of his drink, it isn't as bad as he thought it would be, it's sweet, and at least it isn't recycled water.
"Kind of, I just work here because… well… my skill set isn't impressive"
"A loader, no? All that work in the cargo bay?"
"Yeah, what does it feel like being an SC?"
"Being a security captain feels…"
Schen took a glance at his tag, hidden beneath his shirt and new uniform, a piece of memory and evidence of who he once was.
"...familiar"
"Oh yeah… aren't you an ex-mil?"
"I am"
"Why did you quit?"
"It's… it got a bit too mu it can ch for me, though i do miss my team, best few people i've ever worked with"
"Good terms?"
"Brothers, live by them, die by them, not literal on the latter of course, but it can happen, too bad we're disbanded now"
"Why?"
"Let's just say they don't wanna work without their favorite captain"
"Oh… Where are they now?"
"Living their best life with their family i hope, least there's nothing to threaten their lives there"
"Why don't you go back to yours?"
"Don't have one, too old to return back home and do nothing, and too old to find a mate, kinda missed my chance back then"
"And you're satisfied with just being an SC in a random cargo ship that visits edge territories?"
"It's still something, besides, i've got more than enough experience for it… hmm… lunch's over, good talk"
"Looks like it is, nice to know you… Schon?"
He nodded in confirmation, and went to pay for his lunch. It was decent, but he'd rather have it stale than having to actually pay, he can't believe he actually missed those stale rations. Perhaps because he was used to it, old habits and preferences are hard to shake off, they said. He went back to his post, just a little room filled with camera monitors with a teeny tiny armory next to it. Genuinely, it looked pathetic next to the military armory he was used to.
But the weapons were familiar, kind of, just lacking the usual stopping power and attachments of the ones he used to have. After the (unfortunate) disbanding of his team and his (honorable) discharge from the military as well as the new (rather stupid if you ask him) identity of Schon, he was desperate for work. It's his fault really, he should've been at home enjoying the rest of his life now that that Schen technically no longer exists.
But the soldier in him wanted to do something, so he did, and now here he is, a simple SC in a cargo ship, which took an unnecessary amount of effort, as apparently the union was still somewhat skittish about the video he broadcasted before he went on the temporary desertion, but now that he knows everything, it doesn't really matter. It isn't bad by any means, but it ain't the military, and the more he worked the more he wished for a pirate attack. He also just missed being together with his team, but alas, they have their own lives, so he had to let them go, though he does have their contact number saved on his personal datapad.
He turned on the only monitor inside his room that isn't used to look through a camera, and looked for anything interesting in the network. Interesting as in any news regarding the 'Goels' and their recent introduction, he had been keeping a close eye on it. He doesn't need to, it isn't his business anymore and if he tried to make it his business again he can expect agents on his tail, but since he was heavily involved anyway, he thought why not as well do it. And it was just fine so far, though he has no clue how the green one, Abel if his memory serves him, turned from a drone to… well… that.
He learned a bit about who humans are, and what humanity was like, before it went away and was 'replaced' by the Goels. And as far as he knows they're dead, like extinct dead, so obviously the appearance of the cheery human male that acted as the Goel ambassador shocked him. He still has no clue now, though his theory as to how essentially boils down to 'ancient civilization fuckery'. And as far as he can tell, there's no problem with that, yet, the discussions were relatively smooth if the news were to be trusted and the council seems to actually starting to trust the Goels, kind of.
He browsed through the tabs and websites, most of which he already read and glossed over.
Trade offer accepted between union and Goels
No surprise there, no man or woman in the council wanted to pass up such a deal.
Military showcase ends in awe, fear, and admirance
He saw the videos on that one, it was impressive.
Goel ambassador visits Caevit palace garden, Godfather was shook
He suppose having such an important guest roaming around your garden can be a bit complicated, so he understands.
Goel ambassador faints during a direct discussion with the council, paramedics clueless
Now that's interesting, and frankly worrying, he didn't get to see the full broadcast yesterday, actually he missed most of it, so he didn't get to see what happened.
"What happened to you?"
He mumbled as he read the article and looked at the pictures and videos of the accident. Unknown cause, immediately escorted, and the sudden silence from the Goels, and it has been for almost half a cycle now. Strange, he looked through the video again, watched how Abel behaved, and noted the many oddities present. He seemed just fine, just giving his presentation to the council as professional as one can be as an ambassador and then suddenly he just… dropped, he thought about exhaustion at first, but the longer he thinks about it the dumber it gets.
No way the current Abel is human, he was explicitly told by him that there are no humans left, so what is it?. He couldn't come up with anything, but kept it in mind as he looked for more info on the current situation. It wasn't long until he realized there's nothing else he can learn and turned off the computer. He looked at the time, and suddenly remembered something vital, alcohol break, he reached down under his desk and took out a bottle, the very same one that he took to the desert planet with him.
No shot glass no problem, he popped the cap off and drink straight from the bottle, not very classy but whatever. He hid it back under the desk and walked out of his office now that he actually remember something actually vital, his men. The security team more precisely, and he's the current captain, someone's had to check on them. He ran into one guard waiting around the cafeteria and greeted them.
"All good?"
"All good, no danger"
"Yet, keep an eye out, and if you can, help anyone in need, being a security isn't just about holding weapons and warding off pirates, you should know that by now"
"Yes sir, sorry"
"Sigh i've worked with trainees that are better than this"
He grumbled as he left to look for another man to inspect. His new subordinates are… a particular group. Some of them take the job seriously, some are a bit more relaxed but still vigilant, but most, like the one he just gave a mouthful to is God awful, improper stance, manners, no incentives, and utterly basic in weapon mastery. He has to cut them some slack, they're just basic security after all, not soldiers, but still. He ran into a more favorable one patrolling the hallway leading to the reactor, he actually knows this one's name, Koern, a Civean, and he couldn't be more glad he actually got a salute from him.
"Greetings, Captain Schon, is there any problem?"
"It's Sche- i mean… yes thank you, and no, there's no problem, just daily inspection"
"I see, how do I do?"
"As usual, very good, keep It up"
"Thank you sir… sir can i ask you something? I've been considering looking for you but now you're here…"
"Sure, i can spare some time"
"Can I request a leave from you sir?"
"I can if there are valid reasons"
"I've requested it to the captain, but all she said is that i should ask you first"
"I see, but what's the reason?"
"Family matter, I have a relative on a planet named Rosan IV, ever heard of it?"
"Isn't that the newly built colony planet?"
"It is, a much better built colony compared to the rest, new union projects and all that stuff, my cousin signed up for it, we've been communicating just fine so far, until a few days ago"
"What happened?"
"I don't know, he just went… silent, i thought okay, maybe he's busy or there's a problem with the communication there, so i just waited, but it has been too long now, usually he sends a message almost daily, now there's nothing"
"I don't think you need to ask for a leave in that case"
"Why?"
"Rosan IV is in the list of destination of this ship, station building material shipping, after this one we should be on the way there"
"Oh thank God, i knew i should've checked the list"
"Well… this is an edge operating ship, you know? In that case, all you'll need is a shore leave on any station there, short but should be enough for you to check in on your cousin"
"That's all i need sir, thank you"
"Of course, now continue your work, we'll be there before you know it"
"Yes sir"
Schen walked away with a little curiosity in his mind, Rosan IV huh? isn't that the planet that's been really silent? He remembered a conversation at the cafeteria, a few people were talking about it. Some talk about how stupid of a project it was, how it was no different than any other colony, a 'gold plated' lie if you will. But most were talking about how it became a 'ghost' of sorts, communications fell, ships that come and go there go missing, a few creepy tales here and there, it was almost a horror story.
He doubted it, such an ambitious project is bound to have some issues, there's a huge price for luxury, and that price is probably hitting right now. Which made him worried a little, a new colony is a gold mine for pirates and raiders, that was probably the price, pirate intervention. But if all goes well, it shouldn't be that bad, no way those ridiculous stories are real…. Maybe.
—-~----
Rana sat down on his padded seat, in his room, in his literal castle, thinking, not about anything in particular, but just thinking. And maybe glossing over his new arm again, to be in awe again, he still doesn't know how the movement is that smooth. Pearl white, shaped just like his other arm, even has the claws, and probably smoother in terms of movements than his actual arm despite being a prosthetic. It has been quite a while since his particular experience on that planet, and the prosthetic is still not showing any issue, any normal prosthetic would break down or need maintenance after this long of a time.
It's also… self repairing? He's not sure if he's hallucinating, but he's pretty sure the arm rebuilt itself after he accidentally bumped it into something hard. A small piece of the outer casing fell off, he didn't pay much attention to it, until it disappeared minutes after when he tried to look at it to see how bad it was. All in all, a new experience, awe inducing and a bit scary, would be really nice too, if it wasn't for-
"Rana"
"AAH! Oh… dad…"
-That, his father.
"It's time to-"
"Look at my arm and pry it open, i know"
"Good, let's-"
"But why?"
"Sigh Rana, we had this conversation before, you know the reasons"
"Well I don't want to care about it!"
"It's for our people…"
"No, it's for yourself! Come on dad! Don't you hear what they said? What did they offer? They gave us everything!"
"No one in this universe, organic or not, is stupid enough to give away vital information and material to someone else they just met, they must be hiding something"
"So they're lying, is that it?"
"Yes, i… we believe so"
"Okay, give me a reason why they're lying"
"That's what a dumb leader would do"
"Oh please, don't act like dad's not just another servant to the matriarch"
"She's your grandma"
"Doesn't change anything dad, and no, i don't like laying on a bed while people i don't know try to pry open my arm"
"Sigh does that mean you don't-"
"No"
"Fine… as you wish… but i hope you can understand"
"I already understand, and i don't like it"
"....."
Rana heard his room's door opening and then closing behind him, and sighed. Life hasn't been the same since he returned, his father has been a lot more serious, he can understand that, it makes sense. But he had been putting him into these weird 'inspections' ; they weren't inspections, they were straight up experiments, to try and pry open his new arm. That was how he discovered the last strange and fascinating thing about it, it can feel pain.
He remembered how everyone in the room froze when he screamed in pain, they were bewildered. It was only when he kicked the person inserting some sort of needle-like thing into the gaps of his prosthetic in the face that they knew what was happening. And yet, knowing what it does, his father still insists they do more of his experiments. It doesn't seem to matter how many anesthetics, painkillers and other treatments have been done, he can still feel the pain, it pops up from time to time, sometimes waking him from his sleep.
It was not something he wants to go through again, even if he's unconscious during the operation. At Least it isn't everyday he gets 'inspected' thanks to someone who dislikes the idea as much as he did. Rana heard his door open again, and smiled knowing who it was.
"Rana? Honey? There you are…"
"Hey mom…"
"Have you eaten yet?"
"Mom, a servant came here an hour ago, bringing the food, of course i did"
"Good, something to help you recover"
"Mom, I'm good, okay?"
"Nonsense…"
She gave him a pat and a scratch on the head, his favorite guilty pleasure. He always feels like he's still a child everytime she does it, and not a grown man, but it would be a total lie to say he doesn't like it.
"You need energy to recover from that"
She tapped his prosthetic.
"It's not like it's gonna grow back…"
"One can hope, it's terrible what happened to you"
"Well, it's okay now, they redeemed themselves"
"Hmph… no one's hurting my boy, no one, not even a sentient AI from a different era of the universe"
"Thanks mom… But i don't think you're fit enough to fight Cain"
"I'll beat him with my motherly aura, the thing he's missing, anyway, how's your arm, darling?"
"It's fine… still hurts sometimes"
"Sigh if only your father would listen, him and his ridiculous experiments, what's in that arm anyway?"
"Technology used by a race that defied time…"
"Doesn't justify him doing those things to you… he's been here, doesn't he?"
"He just left"
"Hmm…. You two had a talk?"
"He's just here to… you know what he does"
"Well glad to know he doesn't get through with it today, alright sweetie, just here to check up on you"
"Mom, i'm not a boy anymore"
"A boy you are not, you are a grown man, but my boy you are, and always will be, see you tomorrow honey"
"Stay safe"
"Always…"
Well that doesn't last long, Rana thought as his mother left the room, that's one of the issues they had since forever, she is always very busy. Because unlike father she's not the type to just sit behind a desk and give out orders, she's a lot more active, and caring at that. His father is the supreme general, sure, but Rana always looked up to her more, and her job as the health minister. She's always on a trip to visit hospitals all around the union and other things he doesn't know much about. And of course, unlike his father, that means she's not always home, shame.
Rana thought about it, and suddenly remembered his interaction with Lnaia that night when he first woke up to discover his arm missing. He never told it to her, but the reason she felt familiar is that both her and his mother have the same job, making sure of people's wellbeing. He thought maybe she would know, but maybe not everyone knows that the current Qrid health minister is married to the supreme general, it isn't exactly a super popular thing.
Sometimes Rana gets reminded of who his parents were everytime he looks at any news regarding the Goels, about Cain and Abel. Just how unironically similiar they are, to be so far apart in mindset and goals and yet so close to each other through love… well… atleast Cain and Abel did, he's not so sure about his parents, not anymore.
—-~----
Faen sat in his office, stressed out of his mind, everything has been a mess, Abel's incident at the councillor station, the countless interviews asking for his opinion, it was, somehow, getting a bit too much. Faen expected everything, but Abel passing out in the middle of a speech for no reason is not one of them, and for the Goels to go completely silent after, just what in the world is happening?. He doesn't like it, he doesn't like being out of control, out of the know, not knowing anything makes him uncomfortable, knowing that it can decide the fate of his kind made it near unbearable.
He founds himself scratching his own desk with his claws from all the stress, he stopped, and sighed as he brushed off the wood chips. Maybe he should he take his medications again, he opened a drawer on his desk and took out a small plastic container with labels on it, a medication for high blood pressure, he took one pill and set it back inside the drawer.
"Still on your meds, love?"
A voice came out of nowhere, it trigerred his instinct to reach for the concealed handgun next to him, but as he aimed towards whoever's in front of him, he realized it was a mistake.
"Yana…"
"Still as nimble as i remember, though you got a bit stiff on the arms there"
"I thought you already left…"
"Come on Faen, both you and i know i wouldn't leave without at least saying goodbye to you"
"Is that all you're here for?"
He said as he put the gun away, coming back to a more calm demeanor.
"Of course not, i'm here to check up on our son, and talk to you"
He raised his eyebrow a bit at that.
"Rare…"
"Not as rare as you making a call to me, we need to talk Faen"
"About?..."
"Sometimes i wonder if you take all the medicine i prescribed for you…of course about our son!"
"Sigh is this about-"
"Yes! What makes you think it's a good idea to probe our son like he's some sort of foreign creature?"
"I've taken every precaution, he's been given anesthetics and-"
"Oh i don't care, it's not about how bad of a pain he's experiencing, or how subdued it is so it's not dangerous, this is about him experiencing it in the first place! that's not supposed to happen!"
"Yana, please, we have the best doctors working on him"
"Well I don't believe you…"
"Why?"
"Because I'm the health minister and I need to see their license, and if I don't… i see them as unqualified as to even hold a needle, but i'm here not to hear you say what or… how you do this, we've been there, it doesn't matter… he's still our son and i disagree, what i want to know is why"
Faen massaged his forehead out of annoyance.
"Because-"
"You're scared…. I know"
"What?"
"You're scared of the Goels, of their ways"
"Anyone would"
"I know… and you're trying to do something about it…"
She sat down on the chair right in front of his desk, it was preserved for only other generals and the matriarch herself, incase of a private meeting, her sitting there is technically illegal.
"....But does that change anything? Change the fact that they offer help?"
"You can't trust anyone just like that, they're hiding something"
"And you can't just distrust them for the same reason, it goes both ways, even if they are, is that really a reason for you to dissect our son?"
"It's just his arm"
"So what? You're trying to take it off and leave him armless?"
"It's not the only prosthetic in the world"
"And yet the finest! You have to admit it, they are superior in many ways, they are thousands of years ahead of us, I have never seen such a sophisticated prosthetic before, you know me, this is my field, and that thing on him makes our best prosthetic look ancient!"
"But then what am I supposed to do? Do nothing? Sit there as those things do whatever they want to us? to the union?"
"No! you work with them… i heard what you two were fighting about, i was outside, about why the Goels have no reason to lie, and i agree with him"
"Then what?"
"Here's the thing Faen, there's a difference between being exploited, and working together… they're looking forward to working with you, giving the union their technology and helping it improve… you on the other hand… want to exploit them, learn what they can do and how they did it and then see if you can do it for yourself, i get the point, but why would you steal something that is given out for free?"
"Do I really have to say this again? It's because-"
"Pride… It's because of pride… looks like the old sentiment that caused the great war all those years ago are still here… shame, i thought we would be better as a species, turns out we never change, what a disappointment"
She uttered those last words with bitterness and a flat face, and left the room without another word, she didn't look back, or say goodbye as she is probably leaving, as if she doesn't care anymore. Faen was half stunned, half angry at what she said, that was just her assumption, he reasoned to himself. But now he can't stop thinking about it, as much as he tries to deny it, is that really him? Is that what she thinks of him? A disappointment?

𝙎𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚; I will NOT, respond to low effort messages. I put a lot of effort into writing this, trying to be clear and concise, PLEASE match that! Flood my inbox, I enjoy that! :D Long adventure ahead, traveler. Buckle up! 🎀
Hello there! My name is Aspen, I'm 19, & will be 20 in less than 3 weeks from now. I'm a sweet brat, that is ultimately looking for a forever Dom to start fresh with and can take care of her fully, soul, body & mind. I'm looking for a LONG-TERM ROMANTIC DYNAMIC! I post every now and again, and I've decided to sit down and rewrite myself a bit better!
( 𝙏𝙞𝙣𝙮 𝙎𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙮-𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚; There are photos of me on my profile, but I'm happy to share more photos of my face when comfortable! ) 🎀
Now, I do have some must-haves if you are to DM me! • ꒰ I'm okay with just about anyone (21+) as long as you don't look your age/look good for your age, and can be mature when asked of you. ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ • ꒰Please have experience or willing to learn about neurodivergent people! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ • ꒰ Please be 420, piercing/tattoos, mental health friendly (you do not have to participate in 420, just be friendly/non-judgemental about me doing it!) ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ • ꒰Please be experienced through research/knowledge, and practical experience with kink/BDSM in general. ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
That concludes my must-haves!
Next up on this adventure is about me!
Heyo! My name is Aspen, as we know. I'm a neurodivergent & autistic switch, with a sub lean! I work as a graphic designer, and I'm also an on-stage performer for theatre/actress for work, and I love my job!
A big pintical part of me as a person, is that I am neurodivergent, and a high needs sub in addition to that. Kink IS a lifestyle for me, and I need a Dom that can make time for someone like me. I absolutely adore descriptive partners, and ultimately, DO need that as apart of my accomodations as it allows me to better understand you and helps me process things better! It's also important to say I have bpd, please do your research/be experienced with mood disorders like that as well! I can be a bit of handful, don't waste your time with me if you are not willing to take the time to understand me as I am for you.
Heres a bit about what I do, my hobbies and special interests!
I adore baking/cooking, history/periodic stuff. Theatre Arts, arts n crafts, sewing, wood working, and so so much more! I absolutely love bugs and some insects, and my favorites are bagworm moth caterpillars, death head hawk moth, and lace bugs! I can/and most likely will go on and on about how much I appreciate them and why we should protect them at all cost! I've been studying bugs since I was about 6, and they are my comfort special interests. More so a trauma response, but yeah! A new thing I've been investing my time in, is writing lore for a new stuffed animal of mine! And I'd absolutely love to tell you all about my sweet boy! (Stuffed Animal) If you're interested in doing so! His name is Oswald, and a monster many of my stuffed animals, I love him deathly.
Looks are important, soooo! Down below, I've attached a description of me. I'm 4'11, 96 pounds/generally slim, have 6 piercings (3/6 are facial),big sparkly eyes, button nose, big & pretty smile, and a nice butt! Generally my style is alternative, (romantic goth, fairy, & gloomy coquette!) But my style is generally ever changing, and evolving always. I'm also a sucker for pretty lingerie and heels.
More nerdy facts about me are, I'm heavily into dnd (it's a hyperfixation), getting into Star Wars and, I plan on doing a marvel marathon soon! I'm currently having a Harry Potter marathon. I'm heavily into psychology and true crime. I adore learning about what makes the brain honk and twist in ways and what not! It also helps me understand myself more and more. I adorreeeeee history, and have a bunch of history facts logged into the back in my brain; maybe we can go on endless conversations about some we've beven thinking of. Like I said, I adore history and periodic stuff, what's an era you enjoy or idolize?
Now, what am I looking for you may be asking? Read along!
I'm looking for a long-term dynamic, that can not only be sexual, but romantic! I'm looking for an caring, compassionate and nurturing person who isn't just looking for a quick fix/fling. I'm looking for someone that will take the time to earn my submission, and learn me as a sub. The end goal is to be owned, soul, body, & mind. I'm a sapiosexual in nature, and I love intelligence, and intellectuals. If you can write walls of texts, and tell me everything that fascinates you, you are my type entirely. Take control of me, and tell me sweet nothings.
( 𝙏𝙞𝙣𝙮 𝙎𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙮-𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚; If you live near by, or even in the same city, I'd absolutely adore to go on a cute little date (sfw), to further get to know each-other. I'm also open to relocation if/when I'm comfortable, and if/when that comes up in the future!) 🎀
I have 7 years of experience in general BDSM and more, out of trauma unfortunately, however I am on the personal adventure of healing, I'm currently 2 years self harm free, on the road to 3 years! Back on track however, I would prefer someone with atleast some experience. I'm looking to indulge and get to know a dominant, before I'm to accept him in as "mine". I'm looking to have a foundation dynamic of cg/l, with other things added into the recipe (Sub/Dom, Pet/Owner, etc etc.). Nothing is completely set in stone, but this is what I primarily want, though it is on the table to discuss!
My preferred submissive style is very mixed. I'm a little at heart, and someone who has pet temdicies aswell. Kink is a lifestyle for me and thus, I'm looking for a tpe style dynamic, but nothing is set in stone and everything can be discussed to fit both of our needs and quirks!
Structure is really, really important to me and I'd truly love to have rules, punishment and reward system, a schedule perhaps, and just general stability provided and given. I also have some more extreme and rougher kinds, so preferably someone that's willing to do some of that. I like effort and consistency in a partner, and especially people who know and can accurately identify what they want/are looking for; I don't want to be an experiment! My love languages are love letters, parallel play & additionally time together, physical touch and that sums most of em up! I'm looking for someone that is ultimately sweet, stern, sadistic in all the right ways, but nurturing and can protect me. Someone patient is definitely a must, and someone who can communicate effectively and very concisely! I struggle with communication, so having a Dom to work with me through situations, and being patient with me is much needed and appreciated.
Onto what I'm NOT looking for, do not pm/dm, chat or message me, if you; are looking for a fling, fwb or nsa. This being said, I also am not looking for "discreet" people, starting affairs, or anything illegal. Like I've said, I'm looking for something long-term and fulfilling, not something short and sexually relieving for a few hours.
I AM OKAY, with single people, couples (consensual), people of ANYY gender! In a relationship, I'd say I admire someone who isn't serious all the time, and someone who is confident in who they are and who they're with; don't be ashamed to be seen with me, or distant in public. Hold my hand, look at me like I'm the prettiest thing in the room. Be proud of me, just as I am you. Be confident in what you can/have to offer.
I'm a very sweet, caring, loving, and otherwise; affectionate person. I will try my best to accommodate you (within reason), and support you! I'd prefer someone who isn't busy day in-and-day out, (if you have plans stacked from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed, we won't work.) as like I said, I'm a high needs sub. But I definitely can give you space when you need it and respect you when you go to work, I'm a hopeless romantic when I attach to you and I write love letters from the heart to remind you how much I love and appreciate you, and much more. I'm a huge experimentalist, and don't mind much but I do have my limits; primarily I don't have anything I'm wanting to try as of late, nor am I looking in particular to try something new. A major plus about me is, I have a very long and in-deph kink list (and more importantly, a limit list.) I also prefer if you weren't heavily religious, traditional, or political (preachy types.), or anti-lgbtq+. As long as you aren't an asshole and put effort in, I will be willing to talk to you!
YOU SHOULD BE/ARE; I'd personally prefer if you were chubby, for built-in cuddle machine, though it's not an absolute must. Over 21, and also neurodivergent. A woman OR bearded, tattooed, or have piercings. Queer preferably. Goofy/silly sometimes, can hold a conversation/good conversationalist and have time for me/willing to make time for me as I am for you. And of course match with what I'm looking for and what I want. Similar taste and interests.
To wrap this up, to start of the conversation, send me a DETAILED introduction ( no, bare minimum doesn't count. >:c ), of yourself, and in it, please answer one of the following questions; What is your favorite bug or insect, your favorite musical (no Disney doesn't count, to make it extra hard), not a fan of either? How was your day/night yesterday? I'd love to call and get to know you, as I think we can better understand eachother. and I also need it as it helps comprehend your tone and such.
Even if you're not interested, thanks for coming along on this adventure, traveler, here's 58 tokens for your troubles, good luck! 🎀

Hello,
I am a 27 year old Keralite, currently living in Hyderabad. As in most Indian households with a girl in late twenties, my parents are driving me insane with marriage proposals. And then I threw the CF clause at them and now they want me to find someone myself 💀
Like, your whole life you have been threatened with being disowned if you dared to date and find love yourself. And now suddenly it's all, why don't you find a person yourself?? Why haven't you found someone yet? How can we tell you don't want kids in an arranged marriage set-up 🙄🙄
So here I am. Finally putting myself out there, hoping to find a partner with similar ideals to share my life with.
Because I always expected the arranged marriage set-up, I have no clue on how to do this. So if anyone dares to dm despite this massive red flag, enter at your own risk (lol)
Now that I have set the context, here are some details about myself and what I am looking for in a partner.
I am 5'4. My MBTI is INTP. Recently got diagnosed with mild ADHD which frankly explained a LOT!!
While I might appear a cynic at first glance, I am honestly a romantic at heart and definitely hope to find love (ironic I know).
I am a post graduate in English Literature but work in a corporate. Financially independent and would always prefer to stay that way.
I enjoy reading, writing and watching shows on OTT platforms. I learnt Mandarin for a few years so I also watch a lot of shows in the language for fun.
I also enjoy watching cringe shows and movies with friends and laughing at them.
As for music, I do love Bollywood songs but also listen to a lot of Taylor Swift, The Weekend, Sam Smith, Måneskin, and a lot of other mainstream pop artists. I like k-pop and occasionally listen to that as well.
Yes, I am a feminist. Also an ally for LGBTQIA.
Respect is the first and most important thing I look for in a partner. I do not need you to agree to all my views. But respect mine like I will respect yours. And please be honest and just don't gaslight me. It has happened way too many times in the past with friends that now I can pick it up easily and I will run the other way so fast.
I am non-vegetarian and would prefer a partner who is one. But it's not a deal breaker.
I am a social drinker. Smoking is a no-go for me though.
I am not religious but my family is Hindu. I honestly don't care about what your religion is but it might be easier if you are a Hindu because it will be a major struggle with my family otherwise. Also I don't mind if you are religious, as long as you don't try to impose it on me.
Age range: between 27-33. I don't mind LDR. Initially I wish to have the time and space to get to know you as a friend before we think of dating. I would prefer talking on dm's here and getting to know each other first. And as I mentioned before, I am new to this, so I will need time.
If any of these things resonated with you, then do drop me a dm.
I am not very optimistic about this but we all gotta start somewhere. If you have made it thus far in my long essay, I hope you all having a nice Sunday!
If I missed any details, let me know and I will edit this post.

The beagle who holds the Guinness World Record for solving the fastest crossword puzzle is a remarkable dog named Purin. This talented pooch hails from Japan and has gained worldwide recognition for her impressive skills in puzzle-solving. Learn More - Purin's background, her training, and her incredible Guinness World Record achievement.

Hey FIFA players!
I used to play the old games a lot and enjoyed the manager career mode in particular.
Last game I played was FIFA16 though haha, and I have no clue about the recent ones.
Is there one from lets say FIFA20 - FIFA23 which u guys would recommend for the manager career mode and ofc overall or are they all kinda similar?
I dont need fancy stuff I just want as many teams and leagues (4th english league is where I start usually :D ) as possible, build a squad and play the games.
Thank you in advance everyone!

I've been writing for pretty much as long as I can remember, not under the name on this account (since I'd rather stay anonymous to Reddit), but I have a few short stories on platforms like WattPad and a novel I recently finished but haven't published anywhere.
I've been looking into monetizing my work for a while. And although I enjoy posting things for free and just getting feedback, ultimately there's only so far you can go with that and before I try to get a full novel out there I'd like to know it's possible to make money off of it.
Im not expecting tons of money up front, I just basically what to find a way to publish my work and know that potentially, if I get a lot of readers or interest, I could make money. I'm under no impression that I'll "get rich quick" or whatever. But I put hours of work into my books, and I'd like to be an author professionally one day which obviously can't happen if you make $0.
I have zero experience monetizing anything, only posting in free platforms, so I've come here to ask people who have done it before. I've thought of a few different ideas, but I'm not sure which are bad or good, or if any of them would work at all.
Some things I've thought of...

1. Publishing some short stories on WattPad and other similar platforms, then having a link to a monetized website for my longer works. I could make ad money and not charge my readers by publishing novels to my own site directly.
   
2. Having a patreon or something similar and offer everything I write to supporters
   
3. Selling digital files/pdfs of novels somewhere like Etsy and advertising those on a free writing platform with samples.
   
4. Or do I just need to find a way to have my book's physically published?
   

Is there any realistic way to have a book published if you're not a (even semi-) well known name? How does self publishing even work?
Are any of my ideas actually good or would they work at all? If making money online is unrealistic, how do you get your foot in the door for "real" publishing?
Sorry if this comes across as dumb. I just have no clue at all where to start and need some advice.

i (19F) don’t even know where to start. i made an account just for this, and it’s going to be long; i apologize in advance. i don’t want to trigger anyone either, so please take care of yourselves.
i guess it started last october, when i stumbled across a reddit post of someone talking about their own csa experience, and everything spiraled from there. i began having horrible panic attacks that feel like flashbacks with no memory attached to them; just solely somatic and bodily reactions (skin crawling, feeling hands on me, chills, shaking, dry heaving, etc). then i began to have what i call “projections” that are uncontrollable, few second clips of graphic sexual abuse between multiple men and a young girl who varies between toddler to mid(?) child age, and looks like me. i get a new projection about every couple of weeks.
i went to a preschool ages 3-4 and the classroom was in a catholic church. the religion wasn’t affiliated with the education but we would walk around and go to other rooms in the church for stuff. i was also very involved in things like ccd, did the whole confession thing (where i can vaguely recall being “irrationally” terrified that the man alone with me in the confession room was going to hurt me), and participated in other church activities until about age 9.
i have hardly any memories until age 10. even major stuff like school field trips, birthday parties, etc. i have absolutely zero memory of. i always brushed this off until it was brought up in therapy. it feels like there’s a wall, everything is blank, and i get a huge headache if i try to pry.
red flags maybe??: i had a very out of the blue fear of being raped by my father around age 10. i do not know where i got this language from or where i could’ve learned what rape even “looked” like as it did in my intrusive thoughts at that age. i do not believe my father was a perpetrator as i was hardly ever alone with him, and my gut also does not think this is the answer i’m looking for. but i do think it was a very uncharacteristic and chronic fear for me to have. i will say i am uncomfortable around my father, however i feel this way around all older men and have always felt an anxiety towards them. so i think with my father it’s just a reaction to him feeling more like a stranger to me than a dad.
i also used to be obsessed with scenes in books and movies where characters got touched, kidnapped, tortured, or violently hurt in front of others. i myself would write numerous stories and constantly fantasized about this to the extremes.
i was very interested in what a boy looked like “down there” from an extremely young age. i don’t even think i was in kindergarten yet, maybe first grade at the latest, when i can vaguely recall asking my mom about male genitals, so she gave me one of those age appropriate books about anatomy for kids, but i wasn’t satisfied with that. i personally feel like i was super curious sexually in a lot of abnormal and specific ways regarding myself and others as a kid.
i used to have this very specific vision of what i thought (heteronormative) sex was and was very definitive about it until i had the birds and the bees talk with my mom in early middle school, making me very confused since i thought this clear and “obvious” depiction of sex in my head was the truth. i don’t want to be too graphic, so i won’t explain it, but it was a type of oddly specific sexual “act” i guess. this was way before i had internet access so i genuinely do not know where i got the idea from or why it felt like i had already “been taught” what the mechanics of sex supposedly looked like.
i’m not sure if this is related, but anytime i am turned on, i cry and get so irrationally upset by it. i hate it so much and wish my body didn’t have these types of reactions to stuff. for as long as i can remember, when i’m very upset, frustrated, and sometimes angry, i get this “phantom” arousal which just distresses me further and i’m not sure why it happens. and as ashamed as i am to admit this, i find myself getting turned on by porn that depicts some type of non-con, esp older man vs younger portrayed girl. i hate it. i have a feeling it could be a trauma thing because i definitely don’t enjoy this.
through context clues, my somatic responses, and therapy, i’ve tried to put some pieces together, and i’m seriously questioning if i might have repressed memories that my brain is finally allowing me to see after all these years, and i wonder if some stuff could have happened while i was in the church. it seems almost laughable to me. i have such bad denial. how could i possibly just forget something so traumatic that likely happened super frequently?
one last note: in therapy i’ve discovered that i have “parts” to which my therapist referred me to a trauma specialist for, and they think this could all be a dissociative identity disorder related thing. i have a lot of blackout amnesia in my daily life with these parts that i only noticed was happening after my therapist and i talked about it during a few of our sessions.
there’s more i want to say but these are the main points. i just feel so crazy and like my life is falling apart. i’m so triggered all the time that i can barely keep it together. if i try to go in detail about this stuff with my therapists i dissociate, have an attack, or clam up completely. i’m not sure if i’m looking for advice, reassurance, or your own personal experiences relating to mine but anything would be so helpful. i would appreciate hearing other survivors’ input and thoughts. thank you for reading.

I made a new crossword game! www.pyramini.com
I love the NYT mini crossword and came up with this derivative. Please try it out and let me know what you think! Open to any and all suggestions; hope you enjoy!
*I just added a feature where you can play previous pyraminis by clicking the calendar icon, check it out if you want to play more!