Reddit asktransgender

asktransgender: questions and comments

2009.08.08 18:08 blueblank asktransgender: questions and comments

Transgender questions; transgender answers.

2009.05.01 15:00 blueblank Transgender news, issues, and discussion

**Transgender news, issues, and discussion**

2015.03.05 08:59 For the older and wiser transgender people.

While /asktransgender and other trans groups are great, some of us have families, partners, careers, and all the other trappings of not being in our 20s any more. Here's somewhere to talk about these things and the issues we face in transitioning. This is not a fetish group or a place for chasers, crossdressers and posts attracting chasers are highly discouraged. Please be aware of our rules. Note that all new accounts will be moderated.

2023.05.27 20:57 Throwaway1717717339 Am I trans ?

Yeah that question must come a lot here Im 16, I never before thought about my gender at all, I didnt care and I felt okay being a man, recently, bipolar issues have made me pretty depressed, and since I have very poor self estim, I really hated seeing myself in the mirror. A friend showed me femboys, and thats when I fell down the pipe line, I first thought well, what if I dated a femboy ? Then, what if I became a femboy but just for fun lol, then I stopped thinking about femboys because I thought it was a bad sexual fantasy, but it got me into thinking about becoming more and more androgynous, shaving everyday, growing my hair more, wearing baggier clothes. Until I followed a MtF girl on twitter, and for some reason, I felt very attached to her, she kept being depressed about being flatchested and having small hips, and it touched me, I felt like I wanted larger hips too. So now Im totally lost, Im fine being a boy I guess right now and I dont care when people refer to me as a him because well, its an habit, I never even THOUGHT about acting like a girl online to see if I feel better, but now im absolutely confused, im very scared to go outside like right now as a man so trying to pass as a woman would be even more terrifying. I feel illegitimate of all of this, Like its just a phase in my head, I really need to find a way to know, is it just a phase, is it just a dumb thought ? Or is it something I should explore more ? Should I try becoming a full female ? Or maybe a little bit of both worlds ? Stay as a male in more public spaces, and pass as a female once I feel safe ? I find my own body absolutely unattractive, but If I had wider hips, im sure i'd like it, not sure about breasts to be honest (Was bullied as a child because I was fat so breasts just throw me back to this) There are women that I think off and Im like holy shit I wish Id look like that, like ame from nso (yeah not a very healthy idea) I dont know how to fully put out my thoughts and explain my situation sorry Its just well, im 16, time is ticking, if I found who I really am, I should start hrt now, so I can go before my puberty... Thanks to anyone who will answer
Edit : I seached this sub for a bit and I feel like this post somewhat represents how I feel I dont want to change name or change pronouns and i'd be okay with people calling me with male pronouns, but there is something that touches me to the core just thinking about someone "misgendering" me by using female pronouns
submitted by Throwaway1717717339 to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.05.22 23:51 Idontcareabouthenam3 There was a post here from a while ago where OP mentioned in the comments some festivals they’d been to (in rural areas I think) that didn’t segregate stuff by gender and were super casual about it and welcoming to trans people. But it’s all deleted now. Can someone tell me if they know about them?

A while ago there was a post on here about bathroom politics where the poster mentioned in the comments some kind of festivals they had been to where there wasn’t any separation between genders in the bathrooms or showers and trans people were completely normal and everyone was cool with it. They also mentioned that trans people of all ages came to those sorts of places regularly. But that post, comment, and account have since been deleted and I wanted to know if anyone else could tell me what these places are since I don’t know how to look them up online and they seem really wonderful. Has anyone heard of or been to such places?
It was on this post\_by\_use idk if that helps or not. Probably not unless you are that poster.
I don’t think it’s a particular category of festival or anything, just some that exist in places more outside of regular society, like more rural areas, where they have this attitude. If I wanted to learn about or find those how would I do so?
Sorry I can’t be more specific. But the idea of some place separate from most of society, unbound by the usual pressures of modern societal norms and fear mongering and such, some festival out in the country, where everyone is just completely completely chill about gender stuff and trans people of all ages visit regularly and have fun together just sounds really wonderful and now I’m kicking myself that I didn’t go out of my way to learn more about this when I had a potential lead.
I hope this post isn’t hopelessly vague or confusing. Also sorry if I repeated myself, I had to rewrite it.
submitted by Idontcareabouthenam3 to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.05.20 04:20 Promotion_Small Question about explaining intersex to 5th grade students

Hi! I'm a 5th grade teacher reviewing our health/puberty lessons. I would appreciate any feedback you can offer on my teaching plans. I apologize ahead of time if I offend I'm trying, but I am not very familiar with intersex topics. I'd also love to know what you wish your 5th grade teacher had said/done, or what they did to support you.
I am planning to explain intersex like this- Sometimes there are traits that doctors can't see that will change how a person's body looks and grows, so sometimes an assigned sex at birth is not a person's actual sex.
I was also thinking of showing my students a picture of a butterfly with bilateral gynandromorphism when I explain what intersex is. I know it doesn't relate to all aspects of intersex, but I thought that would be a memorable and age appropriate visual that would show how genes can express differently. My hope is it would also be a memorable image that fights against the idea that this is "unnatural".
I was planning on explaining intersex when we had our lessons on the reproductive system. Would it be more appropriate to talk about it when we cover gender identity?
I made this post on asktransgender
To ask about how I was describing gender identity and several comments asked about or suggested I talk about intersex as well. I thought it made sense to talk about it with the reproductive system, but would really appreciate your feedback.
Thank you for your help!
submitted by Promotion_Small to intersex [link] [comments]

2023.05.19 11:55 zzxyyzx [UPDATE] Our transphobic country wants to silence us.

Thanks for all the support! We were honestly quite blown away by everyone's comments and encouragement!
tl;dr from the previous post:
My friends have been the target of abuse, harm and harassment by an individual who is shielded by Christian far-right groups and institutions. They face great difficulty dealing with the transphobic and discriminatory legal and mental healthcare institutions here in Singapore.
What recourse does the individual have when institutional channels are not helpful? Well, it's illegal to protest in Singapore ("protesting" includes holding up a piece of cardboard with a smiley face on it and it could get you arrested. Generally, Singaporeans are too scared to even complain about the government on Facebook because you'll get investigated by the police for it ( ).
Yet not one but TWO protests have occurred in response to the events I talked about in the previous post. The last major protest that happened here was 2 years ago in 2021, & that was about trans lives too, in our education system. ( ) The fact that people are willing to put themselves at risk of legal repercussions in solidarity with a disabled Tamil trans woman (who is one of the victims of the long-term transphobic transphobic and ableist harassment mentioned in the previous posts) hugely indicates that people recognise how unjust the situation she is in is. This is UNPRECEDENTED in Singapore’s history basically.
We are absolutely amazed by this show of solidarity but we also would like to get the word out about these events to a wider audience. Retweet or like posts from the Twitter and Instagram Safety4Harvey and spread the truth about Singapore on your socials.
submitted by zzxyyzx to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.05.18 12:06 k819799amvrhtcom How do other languages gender?

"apple": "apple", "seed": "seed", "item_throw": "{player} throws the {item}.", "captain_choose_minigame": "Captain {player}, choose a minigame.", "order_1": "{player} goes first.", "order_2": "{player} goes second.", 
What you see here is the industry standard for saving texts in electronic games: All texts that can ever be displayed in the entire game are saved in a single text document. The reason for this is that this makes it easy for translators to translate your game into other languages without having to consult you. At least that's how it should work in theory.
Unfortunately, I have seen many examples where this methodology simply isn't enough to support more gendered languages, which is pretty much all of them.
For example, in old Mario Party games, if I go first, it will say: "k819799amvrhtcom goes first." But if I set the language to German it will say: "k819799amvrhtcom ist Erste/r," because the word "first" is gendered in German and can either mean "Erster" or "Erste", depending on the player's gender. Newer Mario Party games avoid this issue by phrasing the sentences in a way to avoid situations like this. They say "k819799amvrhtcom kommt als 1. dran." Unfortunately, this doesn't work for all situations. For example, the German word for Mario Party 9's Captain is "Spielführer" so if I am Captain and I am to choose a minigame it says: "Captain k819799amvrhtcom, choose a minigame," but in the German version it says: "Spielführer k819799amvrhtcom, wähle ein Minispiel," thereby falsely implying that I am male because the female version would be "Spielführerin".
And even if the translator manages to avoid all forms of gendering in these situations, the result can sound weird. For example, if I throw an apple in Pokémon Mystery Dungeon, it says: "k819799amvrhtcom throws the apple." But in German, the word "the" is gendered, depending on the object, so it says "k819799amvrhtcom wirft das Item Apfel," which literally means "k819799amvrhtcom throws the item apple."
I would like to change this by adding a gendering system to my games. But before I can invent this, I'll have to know how other languages' gendering works so that I don't forget anything.
The reason why I am asking this on asktransgender is because I would like to be inclusive of every single minority group, no matter how small.
Here's what I could find out so far:


In English, 3rd person singular pronouns like "he" or "she" are gendered. Same goes for German. In French, the plural "they" is also gendered. In Japanese, "he" and "she" are not gendered. Instead, the word "I" is gendered. In languages like Arabic, the word "you" is gendered. Korean and Turkish have no genders. Swahili has 9 different grammatical genders but is also genderneutral.
This has profound consequences for trans people. If you decide to transition in English or Arabic, the others will have to get used to new pronouns. But if you decide to transition in Japanese, it's your job to get used to new pronouns instead. And if I make a website where the users can choose their own pronouns, how would I translate that into Korean or Turkish where gendered pronouns do not exist?
You may think that genderneutral gender systems wouldn't matter for trans people because all cis people already share a single pronoun set, namely the one for animate people, but I believe that players should also be able to use pronouns for themselves that stand for other things, such as inanimate objects, because:
  1. Some English speakers use it/its pronouns unironically. Just because it/its is also used to discriminate against trans people doesn't mean some of them can't adopt it for themselves! The gender system in early proto-Indo-European was actually animate and inanimate, with animate eventually splitting into masculine and feminine, so it's exactly the same like in those other languages, the only difference being that the split between male and female never happened in some languages.
  2. Otherkins exist. Otherkins do not identify as humans but instead as animals, fictional beings, mechs, or even abstract concepts. Some of them even go so far as to say that they do not wish to be called persons and become offended if you do.
Because of this, I would assume that some native speakers of those languages would not use the standard pronoun set for people, but I have never met one of them so it's only speculation at this point.

Possessive Pronouns

Possessive adjectives and possessive pronouns are a lot more gendered in gendered languages. Take the adjective "my" for example: In French, it's either "mon" or "ma", depending on whether the object being possessed is male or female. In German, ALL possessive adjectives and pronouns are gendered. Take a look at this table:
mine ours
yours yours
his/hers/its/theirs/one's/... theirs
Now here's the same table in German:
meinemeine/meines unsereunsere/unseres
deinedeine/deines eueeure/euers
seineseine/seins/ihreihre/ihres ihreihre/ihres
3rd person singular possessive pronouns (bottom row, left column) have two genders in German, depending on the gender of the subject and the gender of the object.
That's right: German has a male his (seiner), a female his (seine), a male hers (ihrer), and a female hers (ihre)! No wonder other languages struggle with inventing a genderneutral pronoun so much! Will we ever be able to translate neopronouns into other languages? Not with current generation's games' translation method, that's for sure!


In English, there are words like "actor" and "actress" or "waiter" and "waitress". In more gendered languages, almost every word is like this.


In English, there are words like "blond" and "blonde" or "brunet" and "brunette". In French, every adjective is gendered like this. In German, no adjectives are gendered.


Verbs are not gendered in English or German or French or Latin but I think I have heard of languages where they are.


Depending on whether an English noun begins with a consonant or not, you use "a" or "an". In more gendered languages, this is more complicated: The words "a/an" and "the" are gendered and they depend on the noun coming afterwards. And there is no pattern how to decide which noun belongs to which gender. I still remember when I learned French: I had to memorize the gender of every single noun because there was no rule by which to determine them. Furthermore, all pronouns you use afterwards must always belong to the same gender as the noun, even if you're talking about a person who uses different pronouns: For example, in German, you must always use he after calling someone "Mensch" (human), you must always use she after calling someone "Person" (person), and you must always use it after calling someone "Individuum" (individual).
Furthermore, French and Spanish have nouns whose grammatical gender depends on whether it's the subject or the object or whether it's singular or plural.


In many languages, the word "one" and the word "a/an" are the same, making the number 1 gendered. In German, it's "eineeine/eines". In French, it's "un/une". I heard that in Japanese all numbers are gendered because of this.
Please take everything with a grain of salt because I am not sure about all of this.
Anyway, that's what I was able to find out so far.
Is there anything else I should know?
Thanks in advance!
submitted by k819799amvrhtcom to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.05.16 13:23 Clarine87 How to easily dismiss "it's in the language *you* use; 'transitioned' means they aCtUaLlY were [gender]"?

I'm presently dealing with a family member (until last september my best friend for more than 8 years with whom I spoke daily - now at close acquaintance level) that is adamant trans woman used to be m*n because transition by their definition affirms the place they moved from, having been "born a man".
I've tried to point out its poo to try to use language as a stick, soon I'm to try to point out much of the language is that of the white man medicalisation - but I keep getting hit with what amounts to:
noun noun: transition; plural noun: transitions
1. the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another. "students in transition from one programme to another"
I have struggled to overcome "they wouldn't call it transition if they didn't want to implicitly affirm the starting point".
This family member is (afaik sincerely) determined to be an ally to transgender and LGBT people but also determined to not be, by their own definition, transphobic or homophobic. I've pointed out that saying you're not phobic isn't worth much if you keep saying phobic things but now apparently I've been "radicalised".
This person's main access point to the press is the torygraph. Their best friend was (rip) gay and I do beleive they sincerely want to be an ally but they won't allow possibility that they're using hateful language and espousing hateful ideas if their personal (sincere) belief is equality and freedom.
"I think from a place of respect therefore my regressive ideas cannot be offensive", normal Pricipal Skinner stuff.
The main point of contention we have is that a post op trans woman is male and has male genitals and male cells/genes. I say thats homophobic because if a [binary] person's genitals match their gender presentation then their sex isn't relevent outside medical care and fertility (and the vast majority of trans people don't deny sex, only deny its relevance). But as I said, I post here because I'm struggling to overcome language issues re the word "transition".
This started from them asking a few days ago if genital preferences were transphobic and me saying they weren't unless the discrimination was about who the genitals were attatched to. To wit they said "it's not transphobic to reject all males with vaginas" - which I said was transphobic and homophobic. There are numerous helpful threads on this forum on the subject of "genital preferences" but then they threw up a stream of offensive strawmen that are not relevant here.
I feel I need to get help with this because this morning they dropped "its facism if I can't say trans women are male" - I immediately dismissed this "no one is denying it so why do you feel to the need to keep bringing it up?"
Hopefully yall will tell me words can mean different things and using a dictionary to win an argument is petty.
I can't cut this person out because as far as I'm concerned they've just gotten lost in all the transphobic press. They supported me throughout my transition to NB - but we've been out of daily of contact for 10 months now.
I know I need to cut this person if they won't accept that oppressees get to name their oppression but I need to be sure they're not confused. Since we're at the gender is facism and "identify as strawmen" stage we're very close to the end I feel.
TL;DR. I am failing to articulate that word 'transition' doesn't in any way affirm the starting point.
submitted by Clarine87 to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.05.04 21:52 ReSelfDiscovery So, so confused.

I wrote this post months ago on /asktransgender after my dysphoria came roaring back to the forefront of my mind unexpectedly around the start of the year.
I’m 28, transitioned around 18 and detransitioned a few years later for reasons that are still fuzzy but I’m pretty sure surrounded somewhat misplaced concerns about passing long-term and impact on my life chances. At the time things were confusing and I was depressed. I figured given the age I transitioned amongst many things, I’d never had any exploration as a gay guy and thought I could make it work. And I mean, having a bunch of years of HRT in the bank meant that I looked younger and was fairly cute, which helped.
But I never got anywhere with it. I'm physically repulsed at the thought of someone being attracted to me as male. It makes my skin crawl and I hate everything about it. But similarly, that's better than not being loved at all, right?
So last year I found myself weightlifting in the gym and was in the best shape, and most masculine that I’ve ever been. As a hobby I loved it, competing against myself and bettering myself - I was good at it - but the results while making me more attractive (to those attracted to guys) just made me feel worse about myself. I haven't done it at all this year, and I miss it so much, at least as part of my lifestyle.
It’s now almost three months later. The feelings haven't gone back away.
I think... I wish I was female, or could live as such, but I just don’t want to transition again. At least, I don’t think I do?
I’m currently stuck in between two things:- A, I try to repress, again, get back in the gym, pursue gay relationships and fake being a guy, but then it might come back just like now, and then it's even later and I'm older and in a worse place to transition. B, I go through transitioning again, look like a fool to (or at least be pitied by) those who know I detransitioned, and start again having poisoned my body for a few years, but then I might end up detransitioning again.
The reasons for why I might detransition again in scenario B are probably societal and situational, but that’s not to say they’re not relevant or don’t have impact. The likelihood of it resurfacing in scenario A is pretty high, given that it never went away completely and just became background noise that could largely be distracted away from. And also in A if it were to resurface, I'm pretty sure that's me done for.
I’m just scared, and confused. How I feel right now is so very beautifully and perfectly depicted in this. It's pretty much how I've felt now for months on end.
I started HRT again 2 months ago, partly because I wanted to, and partly to take any time pressure off (there’s no permanent effects which aren’t already long-established) and also to see if it relieves my dysphoria. I suppose I can always stop it again, if I want to.
At the moment I just feel like I need to make a decision.
I can’t work out what it is that I’m going to do. I know what I want, but the practicalities make it difficult. Can I do it? Is it worth it?
It’s like there’s a constant fight in my head going on and I’m also terrified that it came back like it has and that it’s exactly the same as when it first came about - I didn’t see it coming at all. I'm trying to keep myself busy to avoid having to think about it because it just makes me want to either collapse in a wreck or do something more drastic. Have I been lying to myself the last few years while I’ve been living as male? Can I lie to myself like that so much that I can now be questioning my very identity again because I don’t understand how these big shifts can happen so quickly in my head and me only see the end result.
This is all just genuinely mind-numbing and I think it’s sort of an identity crisis but where it’s more about choosing an identity? I just sometimes feel like it’d be easier not to choose at all, but that's not a solution.
Any suggestions?
submitted by ReSelfDiscovery to actual_detrans [link] [comments]

2023.04.28 18:06 FemininityActivate After more investigating, I am getting tested for CAH and also my chromosomes for Kleinfelter

So, someone on this sub suggested looking at CAH for me so, after some time, I finally started researching other forms of CAH and there is a rare form of CAH due to 3-beta-hydroxysteroid dehydrogenase deficiency that apparently shows up on the HSD3B2 gene. So, I look at my Promethease report. To my surprise, it shows I have 3 separate SNPs that are pathogenic for 3-beta-hydroxysteroid dehydrogenase deficiency. The variants all are here: I found some studies of others who had 3BHSD but none of had the particular combination I have. So, it could even be novel, idk.
I had already done a Nebula Genomics 30x DNA test (which is being sequenced now) so waiting to see if that has any sort of confirmation or more information.
I decided to find a genetic counselor and landed at Genome Medical and had a consultation. After explaining what I had found, I also explained the symptoms and the findings that I have posted about before. I said that I think I had an abnormal puberty where I grew 9 inches in less than a year and ended up much shorter than was expected. I also told him about the conscious gender dysphoria I have had lately.
Out of nowhere he goes, "Has anyone ever told you that you may have Kleinfelter?" He started asking me about whether I had developmental problems (I did with speech and writing), body hair and such. I had never considered it a possibility but he thinks it is worth investigating.
So, he ordered 2 buccal DNA samples, one that will sequence the HSD3B2 gene and another for a chromosomal microarray to see if there are any chromosomal abnormalities. Each of those will take 4-8 weeks before I have any results. I submitted those last week.
Apparently, Kleinfelter can cause a later second female puberty. I found an old post in asktransgender that someone who discovered that they were XXY had it happen to them in their early 50s: low-T, chronic ED, breast growth and high estradiol. They also had gender dysphoria their whole life and later transitioned MtF.
So, maybe that's been the cause or effect of all of this, I honestly have no idea, but all my health, thyroid, and other issues seem to be tied to the fact that I came out to myself as trans. I've had moderate to severe gender dysphoria for the last 7.5 months. My days are an emotional roller coaster that I've largely dealt with alone. I am working with a therapist right now.
Whether or not I'm intersex, I've recently accepted that I am, in fact, transgender. I just can't fight it anymore. I have realised that gender dysphoria has been there my whole life and have spent the last few months figuring out what to do. But, dealing with all of this including that I might be intersex too at the same time has been very stressful. And all I can do is wait some more ....
submitted by FemininityActivate to intersex [link] [comments]

2023.04.21 19:00 onlymummies4ava UPDATE - My Fiancée wants to stay in Florida when HB1421/SB254 becomes law. I’m trans. What should I do?

Link to original post:
After a day of reading everyone's words and concerns, I spent time thinking what should be best for myself. Stay in Florida and suffer? Leave Florida hastily without support or a job? Give up my only family unit? These questions roared again and again in my brain, heart and soul. But I know what I need to do.
I need to leave Florida as soon as I can. It will not be safe for me here. And I will lose access to my life-affirming care. I know that. I talked to my fiancée about the post I made and about my desires to maintain my happiness and safety. She was open to hearing my truths and the words of everyone from the comments. She supports me leaving and one day, we will be together again in a new home.
But until that day comes, I have to support myself and find my way to leave Florida and find a home in Colorado. I'll start saving what I can from my paychecks - if it's possible. I have to be realistic about my existence here in FL financially before I commit to the move. And when I am stable, I'll buy my ticket to Colorado and ship all of my belongings with me. I'll find my way out - one day.
If you ever might find me in other places on the internet, consider helping your girl out with more support/constructive feedback. I will always treasure what was shared with me here.
Before I end, I want to say thank you everyone for your kind words. I've been in a really dark place due to the onslaught of anti-trans law proposed in the country and in my "home" state - Florida. I spend my mornings and nights reading the news for us and I feel sick and unwell from it all. And I've been trying my best to find the right path or answer for myself. I received a lot of feedback and help on what to do for myself. I'm always down for more advice/ways to support myself. Thank you and until next time!
tldr; I will leave Florida when I am financially able to. I'll find a new home in Colorado where I can have access to my gender-affirming care without worries or my existence as a trans woman not challenged. My fiancée knows all of this and supports me leaving when I am able to.
submitted by onlymummies4ava to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.04.19 20:11 redesckey What are some things cis people can do to DIRECTLY help trans people in the current political climate?

My last post got lots of good suggestions, but mostly of the indirect political nature.
What are some thing cis people can do to help trans people in a more direct way?
Are there mutual aid groups they can donate to or get involved in? If there aren't any in their area, how can they go about getting one started?
Are there other organizations that would be good to donate to or get involved in?
How can they support individual trans people who need help leaving an unsafe situation? Or accessing medical care?
Anything else that I'm missing?
submitted by redesckey to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.04.18 03:39 SunflowerAges Traaaaaaannnnns subreddit user overlap statistics

Traaaaaaannnnns subreddit user overlap statistics submitted by SunflowerAges to traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns [link] [comments]

2023.04.17 20:20 squishy_catgirl Scared of losing my licence if I am honest with my therapist

I am suicidal. I've wrote longer posts about why here and here if you care.
I have been really scared to tell my therapist about being suicidal because idk what kind of laws apply in that situation, and I'm scared about getting forced into inpatient psych or something or my therapist like contacting the board of nursing and them suspending my licence. If I lost my nursing licence or if I was forced out of work for even just a month, I would have no way to pay for my house or anything.
So the truth is, I already tried to kill myself twice, and I want to try again. I really want to use opioids or benzos because idk it seems it would be nice to just zone out for a bit and would probably help me follow-through. The truth is that every time I give a patient meds I think about how easy it would be to divert it for myself. I would never actually do that, but I think about it mostly because I don't really know how else to get those kinds of meds that wouldn't be like super sketchy and risk landing me in prison.
I guess what I'm asking is like, what is safe to tell my therapist? Is it actually a real possibility that my therapist could get my licence taken away? Needless to say, I really really need help, I'm just so scared that trying to get it is just going to make it worse.
tl;dr I'm scared to tell my therapist that I'm suicidal and that I think about diverting meds all the time because I'm scared I will get forced into inpatient psych or lose my licence or something like that
I'm in the US btw, not going to say what state
submitted by squishy_catgirl to nursing [link] [comments]

2023.04.17 11:52 SenseiJoe100 Welcome to Reddit! Ah, I can see you're transgender! Let me introduce you to some of the popular transgender-themed subreddits! Reddit is a very large place, so hopefully this list will help you narrow it down and find a good community to hang out in!

here are some of the transgender-themed subreddits accompanied by a short description of each of them:
egg_irl: In theory, it's a subreddit about posting memes about gender questioning, discovery, and acceptance. but in practice, it's a place where trans people share memes about each other, making it more similar to traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns: In theory, it's a subreddit where trans people share memes about each other. But in practice, it's a place where trans people ask a bunch of questions about life for other trans people to answer, making it more similar to asktransgender
asktransgender: In theory, it's a subreddit for allies to ask questions about life for trans people to answer. But in practice, it's a place where questioning trans people ask questions to out trans people, making it more similar to egg_irl
ennnnnnnnnnnnbbbbbby: lol who cares
GaySoundsShitposts: pretty much just a combination of all of the above
mtf: the subreddit where trans femmes talk about how horny HRT has made them
ftm: the subreddit where trans mascs talk about how horny HRT had made them
transpoc: lol who cares. if you're trans and not white, i don't care lol
transtimelines: the subreddit you should go to if you want to make yourself feel bad
4tran: transphobe simulator
transgendercirclejerk: the subreddit where trans people talk about how annoying other trans people are. It's fun, until you inevitably run into a post you disagree with, but then all the comments you disagree with have hundreds of upvotes, so you ignore the post and try not to feel bad.
BLAHAJ: king shark is a shark
If none of these subs float your boat, there's tons of other lgbt friendly subreddits! Even though they aren't specifically focused on lgbt issues, they still have an accepting community that you can be comfortable around:
democrats: LMFAO
honesttransgender: filled with transgender right-wing republicans who want to genocide everyone, but don't worry! they promise not to genocide the white trans people :-)
GenZedong: filled with transgender left-wing tankies who want to genocide everyone, but don't worry! they promise not to genocide the white trans people :-)
gamingcirclejerk: "Hey guys, I'm not buying the Harry Potter game! I hate Harry Potter, I never read the books, and I never watched the movies. But I wanna announce on this lgbt subreddit that I am NOT buying the game that I wasn't planning on buying to begin with"
"OMG! It's nice to know who the true allies are! <3"
"Hey, I'm a famous streamer. I wanted to play the game, but I'm aware of the transphobic lobbying by JK Rowling. So, I bought a used copy so she doesn't get any of my money. I also donated $10,000 to an lgbt charity, Also, a portion of the donations I receive while streaming this game will go to an LGBT charity as well! It's a small gesture, but I hope this can aid the trans rights movement at least a little bit!"
"OMG WTF is wrong with you??? I can't believe you'd do this to us! >:-(
Also, most of the GCJ mods are members of that pro-genocide subreddit I mentioned earlier. But as long as you're a white transgender, don't worry about it! :-)
196: we hate life and ourselves. we can't do anything right lol
dankchristianmemes: You know what? y'all get a pass on this one lol
OkBuddyPersona: this sub is filled with Latin American femboys. instant 10/10
AreTheCisOk: proof trans people deserve to be oppressed :triumph:
AccidentalAlly: "The year is 2027. The GOP has just passed a bill that turned the US into a monarchy. King Desantis has just ordered the creation of internment camps for all critics of the U.S. government. 'King Desantis released this statement from his White throne: 'Trans men are not women. Trans Women are not men. Latin Americans are not real Americans. The monarchy will not allow this societal poison to continue"
"lol this is such a AccidentalAlly moment"
Whelp, there you have it! Trans subreddits run for and byt the trans community! enjoy your stay here at
submitted by SenseiJoe100 to transgendercirclejerk [link] [comments]

2023.04.14 20:09 Ok-Committee1978 UPDATE I need some advice for how to make my girlfriend's mom understand how she messed up

I know this didn't get a lot of attention, but this is the follow up to this post. cw for some transphobia
I had the talk with my girlfriend's mom, and it couldn't have gone worse. She invited me to have the discussion, but when I sat down she asked what questions I had for her. I said I wanted to hear what she had to say, and she launched into this tangent about how she didn't understand why she had to keep apologizing and how it was irritating for her and how nobody seemed to understand how hard it is for her. I told her that I could explain the other perspective a bit more, and said she disregarded my girlfriend's mental health, and her safety, and that she showed her she's comfortable putting her in those situations. It really declined from there.
She asked if I'm trying to split up the family, and told me I don't know anything since she's in her 60s and I'm in my 30s. I kindly tried to get her to reflect on herself and her actions, and told her that I'm there because sometimes the most loving thing you can do is hold somebody accountable for their actions. She just completely lost it, the whole conversation. She deadnamed and misgendered my girlfriend the whole time, frequently referred to her as "whatever he is", and told me how "traumatizing" it is for her to "have to refer to her adult son as a woman now". She kept saying she told my girlfriend's estranged sister because she's family, and "family has the right to know all the same information", but then said she doesn't have family, she doesn't think of anyone as her family, and nobody will ever be her family. She told me she had never been so offended in her life by someone "as young as me" because I was trying to get her to understand why her actions hurt my girlfriend, and I told her that maybe she should reflect on that, and I walked out of the house.
On the walk home, I called my girlfriend, who said she knew I left because her mom had just called to scream at her and disown her. I got home pretty quickly because we live nearby, and her mom kept calling, but now with a totally different, more apologetic tone, and told her very different answers to things she told me. She also denied disowning my girlfriend just a few moments earlier. Towards the end of all the calling, all she had to say was, "Well I'd like to get this resolved, I would hate to hear that you've been saying we're transphobic."
We went to my girlfriend's parents' house the next day to pick up some belongings while they were out, and we found an old family photo, backwards in the frame and smashed. So that was pretty disturbing. Her mom also texted me to say "I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt. Let me know what I can do to continue to make amends" (as if she even started lmao)
So that's the update! Wish me and my girlfriend luck in this new hell that has been created for us!
submitted by Ok-Committee1978 to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.04.13 05:09 claysmith009 Academically debating TERF in an ethics setting as a trans man (discussion)

Hello asktransgender reddit, (TW: Transphobia, TERF-Talking Points, TERFS in general)
Before y'all go into this, I am aware that this might waste my breath, but I want to at least try. As a trans person, I've got skin in the game, and as an ethics-focused person, I have time to play in the game.
If y'all can't read through this all the way (so sorry, I like to talk), I want to check in on the TERF's weakest talking points so I know the most effective attacks in ethical academic debate specifically. At the very least if I can't change her mind, I don't want her to persuade anyone else to be a TERF, so I will be Shreking her arguments using every single point I can physically fit into mental storage.
Please give input if you have any. Even if you don't think you have a unique take, there's no harm in being heard, so I would be happy to listen. If you have links to studies (preferably peer-reviewed and publicly accessible (almost impossible to find I know)) that would be incredibly helpful if you're willing to share.
Thank you for reading, carry on.
I'm a trans man who has been medically and socially transitioning for about a year and a half. I'm in school for my B.S. and M.S. in mechanical engineering over a 5 year DE program, but I'm also involved in my university's division for tech ethics and integration of humanities/STEM fields. I love it, it makes me a better person full stop. It encourages a scientific/ethical integration so that you think more about Society and The People when you propose solutions, especially in engineering.
As with a lot of tech and anti-tech groups, there are some awful ppl in the field. TERFs are shockingly common, as are borderline eugenicists, even though many of them don't realize it (horrifying). This is not the whole field, because there's also a really big group of incredible projects that come out of this specialization including: technology legislation, data privacy, algorithmic bias, AI and policy integration, environmentalism, energy/grid stability, etc.
So my university's program decided to send me to a tech ethics conference at a prestigious university, which I'm excited for. It's at a university I may consider for a post-doc, and the professors are all qualified.
Except for one. There is only one person on the panel who is not qualified at all. It's a prominent, notorious TERF. Shocker. I will not be naming this lady because of privacy reasons (for both myself and her), but I get the vibe that she loves to "own the libs". She isn't very qualified (in my opinion) to be on this panel. On a surface level, she's a journalist with a twitter account, and a lot of self-righteousness and hatred (my mortal enemy). I'm not sure she's gonna listen to me, especially since I don't think she really has a stake in the field that the remaining faculty do. However, I want to give it the good ole' college try and I might as well while I'm there.
I'm not worried about how it will affect me, even safety-wise. I'm as medically transitioned as I want to be (T and TS), and I've had my legal name changed, so she can cry about it if she can clock me in the first place. I'm a vet at using The Law (TM) and she's in my homecourt baby (the US and its academic world, both of which will be semi-foreign to her).
She's also a "professional" in an academic setting, so she can't just say anything to me without consequences (I will be sure of that). And the professor who is sending me gave me a heads up about her attendance in advance, asking me if I wanted to go somewhere else for a different seminar.
But because I'm a chronic hubristic know-it-all, I told him (in nicer words) that she can Fall Off The Earth for all I care and that if she misgenders me I will Laugh at Her. I also assured him that I would be fine handling it if she did decide to be a pain-in-the-ass.
He's also sending an absolutely delightful aerospace engineering/bio student with me who's older and much less vicious (just in case, and also because he's hella qualified) so I trust him to Intervene if Necessary. Also we're probably rooming together, and he already knows the whole shebang, so no concern there. (it'd be like sending Clark Kent as backup tbh, so I feel good there)
The Actual Point:
All of this long-winded background to ask: has anyone seen some cracks in the TERF façade that might work best to exploit in debate? I have a plan for my argument, but it might fail in the debate phase because she might not want to understand at the end of the day. I can't make her listen, and I am not scared of giving up on a lost cause.
However, literally everyone alive seems to be obsessed with us lately and keep bringing up trans ppl as a talking point. It's embarrassing for them to be so invested in hating us, and from watching them, they seem really scared of the fact that people have different lived experiences and expertise, which I would be absolutely fine arguing.
I feel like I have a shot at getting her to, as the kids say, "Chill The Fuck Out" if I approach this strategically, so I wanted to hear from The People of Reddit in case anyone has some experience I might overlook.
Sorry for the long-windedness, but I wanna make sure to give info to understand what's going on for reference. Thanks y'all !!
submitted by claysmith009 to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.04.10 04:32 gogoboobs I think I've reached a point of no return

So a while ago I posted this question:
And since then I've come to terms with myself and have realized that I am trans (MtF). I've told my wife and she's as supportive as she can be, but she wants kids and I don't think we are ever going to have any. So she is very close to my sister's kids and he sister's kid, and I know that thier husband's wouldn't let them around as much(or at all) if I was to transition. If it was just me I would've already moved away and started my transition, but she loves being close to her family and idk what I would do if I was the reason that they push her away.
I've struggled with this a lot, and everyday now I feel worse and worse. I honestly can't remember the last time I was happy (I can do something that cheers me up, but those moments never last) and it feels like all I can think about is how I wish I could transition or how I just wish things were different. I don't want to lose my wife, and I don't want to force her to choose me or her family.
TLDR: I love my wife, and know that her family would banish us if I was to transition. Lately transitioning is all I'm thinking about. Is there anything or anyway to make this easier or not think about this?
submitted by gogoboobs to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.04.10 01:03 GSGurl Lil ish I bought for my obvious stenosis (imo) colovaginaplasty

Lil ish I bought for my obvious stenosis (imo) colovaginaplasty
My follow up is tomorrow. Let’s hope I’m only speaking with stiller via telehealth(sorry that nurse gives low energy for me #anyway). I haven’t got to the orange one yet. I think I will try this week… and yea everything is at the 1st dot in between the second dot… and that’s not how colovaginaplasty’s work.
Just wanted to show my lil things I bought.
K-Y Jelly Personal Lubricant,... let’s just say I won’t buy that again. No shade but it smell like a$$ which caused me to panic (we know why ).
Dynarex DynaLube Lubricating Jelly, Water Soluble and Sterile Lubricant Jelly, Used for Body Orifices, Hinged Instruments and Medical Devices, 1 Box of 144 DynaLube Packets, 2.7g Love this lube … since my penile inversion(2018) … it doesn’t stink like ass like KY … I’m almost done with this second box (144 packs come in it ). So I’m dilating just when insurance start telling fibs that a heaux isn’t (it better not be stiller office saying that bs ) … I dilate like 2-3 hours a day
Set of Six Dilators Smooth VuVa... Thank you home girl from Reddit chat for suggesting this. But when I got it the length of it the skinniest couldn’t help me… since my regular dilators gets to that point or longer. And yes I bought the skinniest soul source (that’s skinnier than the four pack we get ) … yea
MiraLAX Laxative Powder for Gentle Constipation Relief, #1 Dr. Recommended Brand, 45 Dose Polyethylene Glycol 3350, Stimulant-Free, Softens Stool Thank you Autumn love …. I just had used it once. But I noticed when I used it the next day I spoke with autumn in a thread.I took it that morning had a lovely bowel movement … like within 3 hours. Later that night tho getting ready for bed 🛌 (or maybe i already fell asleep)… I woke up because I thought I “pooped “ myself … I laid there for a second “pissed off “ …got out of bed …and let me tell you this … it was a whole bunch of mucus in my pad. So much so that it fell and hit my tub in a big blob. The color was white clear clean … so I’m guessing that’s how laxatives get the stuff to move is to cause more mucus or to push mucus thru (I mean it’s still the same blood supply for the intestine right ? ) .. but it has never happened again. But I low key want to try to drink it to see if it does that again
What I think I might have … she use to have a video up of her journey on YouTube. I remember before I had GRS in 17-18 I discovered it. She has screenshots in other posts of x rays and it look like one part of the neovagina got tight while the other end became filled with mucus
And I’m guessing this is what it was. I don’t think this is exactly my scenario tho considering it’s just no way. It’s to early for that to have happened , right ?
SIDE-NOTE: just because a surgery fails for you(and we don’t know if it’s a fail ) , does not give you the right to shit on the rest and stop folks from transitioning. First you will never stop them/us. My people were here before Obama and will continue to be here.
submitted by GSGurl to Transgender_Surgeries [link] [comments]

2023.04.07 20:13 Nephelionz Is this advice still relevant? (MtF)

Hey friends, just wondering if this old post with steps is still a good resource or too outdated? I've been trying to practice with videos for awhile now and I've made basically no progress there's just something I'm not getting I guess, and if the above post isn't good anymore does anyone have recommendations for online vocal coaches?
submitted by Nephelionz to transvoice [link] [comments]

2023.04.06 21:03 DigitSubversion How do I deal with transitioning while already under the effect of false gossip? (moving not an option)

So for 8 years I have a false gossip situation. It took me 4 years to realize what was really going on, and then, it was already too late, as I tried to stand up for myself of what I thought it was about.
Nothing major of course... but it's town wide (13K people), in a similar way that someone were to gossip for just being a weirdo as an autistic person when you're at school. To that degree do I experience petty gossip and reputation.
Though, because of re-experiencing this stuff (bullied and gossiped as a kid), I needed to go therapy for it, as, since it's town wide, I needed to learn to let go an live the life I wanted to live.
It DID make me develop a thick skin towards my situation, which helps me a lot coming out publicly... but here's the catch: I can already see, based on the stares I got from people staring WAY too long at me, and the youth trying to purposely deadnaming me (yet them not realizing I don't care, as I barely have any dysphoria, nor was it actually my actual old name name), that this is gonna be a more scary situation for me...
I did move since then to a larger place (100+K people)... but the gossip followed with me, since the distance was not that far between.
Since I cannot move, for at least 10 years, if I were to apply to the corporations inside my country to move again... I just want to make the best of the time I have here, instead of restarting my life again.
Does anyone have tips for me to process this "more tense than I thought" transition timeline, fully coming out, even if I don't pass at all yet? (mostly based on physical appearance. My face is apparently not as bad when it comes to passing, minus voice)
Sidenote... for those who have seen this post a few years back? Yeah... hi... trans after all! 😅😂❤️🏳️‍⚧️
submitted by DigitSubversion to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.04.06 15:30 Sneaker3719 Is it normal to be progressing my exploration this quickly?

I’m a trans-questioning cis guy (22M), and I started questioning only last Friday night.
But since then, I’ve told an online friend to use a girl name for me, shaved my leg, gotten in touch with pro-trans students on my college campus for trans resources and buying girl stuff, bought and put on cheap lipstick, and I plan on buying cheap girl clothes today. I’m even fantasizing about starting HRT and thinking over how I’ll come out to my family.
And not even a week ago, I would’ve sworn I was 100% cis, but now, aside from surgeries, I’m practically ready to go the whole nine yards.
Can anyone relate?
btw I made a post on this sub 2 days ago if you want to compare how I was thinking then to now
submitted by Sneaker3719 to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.04.03 15:28 Korf74 [AMAB] Comment je peux être aussi sûr.e d'être cis et sûr.e d'être trans à des moments différents ? Je suis pas genderfluid et je n'y comprends rien

Je peux changer d'avis 3x par jour sur le sujet, je peux être totalement sûr.e d'être un mec genre y'a aucun doute, c'est même ridicule de penser le contraire, et à d'autres moments je suis sûr.e d'être trans, que j'aurais voulu être une fille, que je devrais transitionner.
Et les deux mindset peuvent exister à différents moment d'une même journée sans que j'arrive à prendre du recul autre que éviter de trop y penser, les choses semblent trop logiques sur le moment.
Je pense vraiment pas être genderfluid, et je pensais que le côté 'mec' était juste du déni mais j'en suis pas si sûr.e, le sentiment est vraiment fort à chaque fois.
Ca fait des ANNEES que je creuse et je creuse sans trouver de réponse satisfaisante à mes questions, j'ai même essayé les hormones, et maintenant j'approche de la trentaine, je vois mon corps se masculiniser encore (des fois ça me dérange pas, d'autre fois ça me dérange...). C'est à n'y rien comprendre et vraiment c'est de pire en pire, j'ai plus aucun sens d'identité profonde ou quoi que ce soit, j'arrive à m'accrocher à rien dans la vie de durable à cause de ça, ma relation de couple par en cacahuètes à cause de ça, y'a rien qui va.
Je vois une psy spécialisée depuis des années, j'ai été dans et participé à des dizaines de discords trans, j'ai passé des centaines d'heures (si ce n'est plus) à lire les post reddit /asktransgender etc, j'ai lu des dizaines de bouquins féministes, transféministes, sur l'identité, sur le questionnement, j'ai tout regardé ce que je pouvais regarder sur Youtube, franchement je suis à bout, rien ne fait sens je suis TOTALEMENT perdu.e....
Je sais plus quoi faire, pour pas péter un cable je me sur-occupe en permanence pour pas y penser parce que je sais plus quoi faire et j'ai besoin de sortir de ma tête. J'ai aucun ami.e à qui parler, personne dans ma vie qui soit ouvert et j'ai énormément de transphobie internalisée que j'ai toujours pas réussir à éroder après toutes ces années...
help :/
submitted by Korf74 to transgenre [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 06:05 TSUnicorn64 Consult Vaginoplasty w/ Dr. Ramineni

Upon conducting my own research into Dr. Ramineni, I found that there weren’t too many people posting their experiences with him (the ones that did were amazingly detailed and in depth; I’ll list their stories at the bottom) so I figured I’d just go ahead and help future girls by posting mines as well as sorta place it somewhere that I can always see it.
I’m just going to get the basics out the way first. I reached out requesting a consult w/ Dr. Ramineni on 02/16/23 and upon me asking for a virtual consult (I’d already been to multiple in person consults with other surgeons and honestly didn’t want to spend money flying out to DC from Florida just to essentially hear the same things and see a couple pictures when I’d already seen his GCS results on Reddit and the site) fortunately for me she asked him if that’d be possible, he said yes, and then told her that he had time that afternoon if I wanted to do it the same day. Keeping that in mind he asked if I had all of the necessary letters and also if I had insurance to which I replied I did to both his questions.
The consult was reminiscent of all the others with the exception being that Dr. Ramineni speaks fast, is super nice/sweet, and just so happens to be full of so much information that by the time he finishes 9/10 he’s answered most if not all of your questions regarding Vaginoplasty.
Once we’d completed our call he asked me when would I be wanting to have the procedure, I told him ASAP and he said someone would reach out to me with a date then. That concluded our call.
Katie reached out to me maybe an hour later with the following dates
Wednesday March 29th
Wednesday April 12th
Tuesday April 25th
I honestly wasn’t expecting a surgical date anywhere near that soon, but literally was beyond ecstatic to be getting one so I chose 3/29 to which she replied she actually believes they might have a date for 3/28 and I ended up getting in a day sooner soooo hoo-ray for me. I also only had to pay $1000 deductible which is another win.
Actually the only con that I wasn’t expecting is that he does want patients to purchase the dilators (the petite and large set) which can easily set you back $300+. This wasn’t a super big deal for me of course, but I also wasn’t expecting it until they sent my pre/post op intrusions on 03/02.
submitted by TSUnicorn64 to Transgender_Surgeries [link] [comments]