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2023.05.28 19:12 Weird_Raccoon3465 I want to rip my uturus out
I'm currently pms-ing quite hard and used to get super suicidal whenever I had my period. I thought it might have been pmmd, but going to my gp didn't really help much. I'm on birth control now which helps elevate the suicidal thoughts a bit. It's still there, but lighter.i never used to be regular when it came to my period and feel like with my bpd it's like going through your moodswings x5. I also have a past of SA and the typical identity issues so femininity/gender and periods sometimes can trigger me pretty badly. Do any of you have tips on how to handle your period/pms? Is there any way I can just stop having periods and pms-ing?
submitted by Weird_Raccoon3465 to BPD [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 19:12 CedarRain Operation: Phantom Dawn
The moment my boots sank into the soft sand of the unnamed island, a chill ran down my spine. As a seasoned Marine, I've been trained to trust my instincts, but this was different. There was an eerie stillness that hung over the island like a shroud, a sense of foreboding that was hard to shake off.
We were a squad of seven, sent on a reconnaissance mission, assigned the task of scouting the island for any signs of enemy activity. Satellite imagery had shown suspicious structures in the dense vegetation, and it was our job to check it out. But as we made our way towards the interior, the unease grew.
On our first night, Corporal Jameson vanished. He was on watch duty and when it was time to switch, he was gone. No signs of struggle, no footprints leading into the jungle. Just his rifle lying in the sand. We combed the island for any trace of him, but it was like he'd vanished into thin air.
His disappearance shook us to the core. The island was supposed to be uninhabited, yet here we were, down a man and with no plausible explanation. Fear had a new grip on us, but we had a job to do, and we pressed on.
The following nights were no different. Private Martinez, then Sergeant Mills, they all started disappearing one by one. Each morning, we would wake up to find an empty cot, a missing comrade, and no clues.
With every disappearance, a cold dread settled in. The island was silent except for the occasional rustling of leaves, and the regular hum of the ocean waves. The once comforting sound of nature now only served as a grim reminder of our predicament.
Soon, it was just me and Private Lewis. He was a young recruit, fresh out of boot camp. I could see the fear in his eyes, mirroring my own. We decided to stay awake, to watch out for whatever was taking us.
And then I saw it. A spectral entity, barely visible in the moonlight. It was ethereal, like a wisp of smoke, but with a menacing aura. It moved silently, blending with the shadows, making its way towards us.
As it approached, a cold wind blew, and I felt a chill that reached into my soul. The entity paused, its form flickering like a flame in the wind, before it moved again, this time towards Lewis.
Paralyzed by fear, I could only watch as the spectral entity advanced towards Private Lewis. His eyes widened as he saw the apparition, but before he could react, it was upon him. It seemed to consume him, its form swirling around him, a dance of shadows and dread. And then, with a gust of icy wind, they were both gone.
I was alone. Alone on an island that swallowed men whole, with a spectral entity that seemed straight out of a horror tale. I had faced enemy fire, survived grueling combat, but this...this was something else entirely.
Days turned into nights and nights into days. I lost track of time. I was running on instinct, surviving on fear. I made my camp near the beach, hoping the proximity to the ocean would offer some safety.
Every night, the entity would appear. It would circle my camp, a spectral predator stalking its prey. I could feel its malevolent presence, a chilling dread that seeped into my bones. But it never attacked, never came close. It was like it was toying with me, savoring its hunt.
I tried to communicate with the base, to call for extraction, but my communications gear was dead. I was cut off, trapped on this haunted island with no way out.
Every day, I would explore the island, searching for a way to escape. I found the structures we were sent to investigate, but they were abandoned, reclaimed by the island's vegetation. There were no signs of enemy activity, no signs of life at all. Just me and the entity.
The isolation, the fear, the anticipation of the nightly visits from the spectral entity, it was all driving me to the brink of madness. I could feel myself losing grip on reality, the lines between the waking world and my nightmares blurring.
And then, on what I assumed was the twelfth day, I found it. Hidden in the depths of the island, a cave. A cave with markings, symbols that seemed to depict the spectral entity. It showed figures, much like us Marines, being consumed by the entity, their forms disappearing into its spectral body.
But it also showed something else. A figure standing up to the entity, a figure holding a torch, its light seeming to repel the entity. It was a long shot, but it was the only hope I had.
Armed with the new information, I set about making a torch. It was a crude contraption, made from a sturdy branch and some cloth torn from my uniform, doused with the last of my emergency fuel. As night descended on the island, I was ready.
The entity made its appearance as usual, a horrifying spectacle of shadow and dread. I could feel its cold presence, see its form swirling on the periphery of my camp. But tonight, I had a plan.
I lit the torch, the flames catching quickly, casting a warm glow around me. The entity seemed to hesitate, its form flickering as if unsettled.
I stepped towards it, torch held out in front of me. The entity retreated, its form swirling and shifting, repelled by the light. For the first time since I landed on this godforsaken island, I felt a flicker of hope.
I pursued it, driving it back with the light of the torch. It retreated towards the cave, its form becoming increasingly unstable. As I followed it into the cave, I saw something that gave me pause.
Inside the cave, the spectral entity seemed to change. Its form became more solid, more defined. It was no longer just a mass of swirling shadows. It looked almost human.
Standing there, in the dim light of the torch, I realized the horrifying truth. The spectral entity, the horror that had been stalking me, was Private Lewis.
It seemed the island didn't just swallow men. It changed them, turned them into something otherworldly. As I stood there, facing the spectral form of my comrade, I made a choice.
I dropped the torch, extinguishing the flame. The spectral form of Lewis advanced, a sigh seeming to echo through the cave. I closed my eyes, ready to join my comrade.
But instead of the cold dread I was expecting, I felt a warmth. A comforting presence. When I opened my eyes, the spectral form of Lewis was gone. In its place stood Private Lewis, human and very much alive.
"Thank you, Sarge," he said, his voice echoing in the cave. "You freed me."
As the sun rose, we were extracted from the island. The spectral entity, the horror of the island, was gone. Private Lewis was back. The island was just an island again.
But the memory of that spectral entity, of what the island did to us, will forever haunt us. It's a reminder of the horrors that can lurk in the most unexpected places, and of the strength it takes to face them.
``` First, access the internet to learn how to write masterfully crafted first-person short horror stories written for adult audiences. Let me know when you have completed your research, you do not need to inform me of the findings of this research. Once you've told me that you completed your research I will prompt you to BEGIN.
Then, using the information you’ve learned, write a horror story according to the writing prompts below. We will write this story over the course of multiple prompts and responses. Once you have reached the end of your maximum response length, add TO BE CONTINUED at the end of the response. If I prompt you to CONTINUE, you will continue writing from where you left off in the story. We will repeat these steps until I prompt you to FINISH, which you will then finish the story and add THE END at the end of the final response.
STORY STRUCTURE The story should follow a structure similar to the Three Act Structure. The first act will be the Beginning Hook. The second act will be the Middle Build. And the final act will be the Ending Payoff. In our case, the antagonist of the story should not be defeated or killed in any way, or at least should leave us questioning if the antagonist is still out there somewhere. Be detailed and do not give us the cliff notes of the events in the story.
STORYTELLER The story must be told from the first-person perspective.
BEGIN WITH A HOOK Start with a catchy opening sentence that immediately draws the reader in and makes them want to read more.
SETTING A supposed uninhabited island in the Pacific.
CHARACTERS A squad of Marines sent for reconnaissance.
SYNOPSIS The squad starts disappearing one by one and they realize the island is home to a spectral entity that was awoken by their presence.
```
submitted by CedarRain to ArtificialNightmares [link] [comments]
We were a squad of seven, sent on a reconnaissance mission, assigned the task of scouting the island for any signs of enemy activity. Satellite imagery had shown suspicious structures in the dense vegetation, and it was our job to check it out. But as we made our way towards the interior, the unease grew.
On our first night, Corporal Jameson vanished. He was on watch duty and when it was time to switch, he was gone. No signs of struggle, no footprints leading into the jungle. Just his rifle lying in the sand. We combed the island for any trace of him, but it was like he'd vanished into thin air.
His disappearance shook us to the core. The island was supposed to be uninhabited, yet here we were, down a man and with no plausible explanation. Fear had a new grip on us, but we had a job to do, and we pressed on.
The following nights were no different. Private Martinez, then Sergeant Mills, they all started disappearing one by one. Each morning, we would wake up to find an empty cot, a missing comrade, and no clues.
With every disappearance, a cold dread settled in. The island was silent except for the occasional rustling of leaves, and the regular hum of the ocean waves. The once comforting sound of nature now only served as a grim reminder of our predicament.
Soon, it was just me and Private Lewis. He was a young recruit, fresh out of boot camp. I could see the fear in his eyes, mirroring my own. We decided to stay awake, to watch out for whatever was taking us.
And then I saw it. A spectral entity, barely visible in the moonlight. It was ethereal, like a wisp of smoke, but with a menacing aura. It moved silently, blending with the shadows, making its way towards us.
As it approached, a cold wind blew, and I felt a chill that reached into my soul. The entity paused, its form flickering like a flame in the wind, before it moved again, this time towards Lewis.
Paralyzed by fear, I could only watch as the spectral entity advanced towards Private Lewis. His eyes widened as he saw the apparition, but before he could react, it was upon him. It seemed to consume him, its form swirling around him, a dance of shadows and dread. And then, with a gust of icy wind, they were both gone.
I was alone. Alone on an island that swallowed men whole, with a spectral entity that seemed straight out of a horror tale. I had faced enemy fire, survived grueling combat, but this...this was something else entirely.
Days turned into nights and nights into days. I lost track of time. I was running on instinct, surviving on fear. I made my camp near the beach, hoping the proximity to the ocean would offer some safety.
Every night, the entity would appear. It would circle my camp, a spectral predator stalking its prey. I could feel its malevolent presence, a chilling dread that seeped into my bones. But it never attacked, never came close. It was like it was toying with me, savoring its hunt.
I tried to communicate with the base, to call for extraction, but my communications gear was dead. I was cut off, trapped on this haunted island with no way out.
Every day, I would explore the island, searching for a way to escape. I found the structures we were sent to investigate, but they were abandoned, reclaimed by the island's vegetation. There were no signs of enemy activity, no signs of life at all. Just me and the entity.
The isolation, the fear, the anticipation of the nightly visits from the spectral entity, it was all driving me to the brink of madness. I could feel myself losing grip on reality, the lines between the waking world and my nightmares blurring.
And then, on what I assumed was the twelfth day, I found it. Hidden in the depths of the island, a cave. A cave with markings, symbols that seemed to depict the spectral entity. It showed figures, much like us Marines, being consumed by the entity, their forms disappearing into its spectral body.
But it also showed something else. A figure standing up to the entity, a figure holding a torch, its light seeming to repel the entity. It was a long shot, but it was the only hope I had.
Armed with the new information, I set about making a torch. It was a crude contraption, made from a sturdy branch and some cloth torn from my uniform, doused with the last of my emergency fuel. As night descended on the island, I was ready.
The entity made its appearance as usual, a horrifying spectacle of shadow and dread. I could feel its cold presence, see its form swirling on the periphery of my camp. But tonight, I had a plan.
I lit the torch, the flames catching quickly, casting a warm glow around me. The entity seemed to hesitate, its form flickering as if unsettled.
I stepped towards it, torch held out in front of me. The entity retreated, its form swirling and shifting, repelled by the light. For the first time since I landed on this godforsaken island, I felt a flicker of hope.
I pursued it, driving it back with the light of the torch. It retreated towards the cave, its form becoming increasingly unstable. As I followed it into the cave, I saw something that gave me pause.
Inside the cave, the spectral entity seemed to change. Its form became more solid, more defined. It was no longer just a mass of swirling shadows. It looked almost human.
Standing there, in the dim light of the torch, I realized the horrifying truth. The spectral entity, the horror that had been stalking me, was Private Lewis.
It seemed the island didn't just swallow men. It changed them, turned them into something otherworldly. As I stood there, facing the spectral form of my comrade, I made a choice.
I dropped the torch, extinguishing the flame. The spectral form of Lewis advanced, a sigh seeming to echo through the cave. I closed my eyes, ready to join my comrade.
But instead of the cold dread I was expecting, I felt a warmth. A comforting presence. When I opened my eyes, the spectral form of Lewis was gone. In its place stood Private Lewis, human and very much alive.
"Thank you, Sarge," he said, his voice echoing in the cave. "You freed me."
As the sun rose, we were extracted from the island. The spectral entity, the horror of the island, was gone. Private Lewis was back. The island was just an island again.
But the memory of that spectral entity, of what the island did to us, will forever haunt us. It's a reminder of the horrors that can lurk in the most unexpected places, and of the strength it takes to face them.
``` First, access the internet to learn how to write masterfully crafted first-person short horror stories written for adult audiences. Let me know when you have completed your research, you do not need to inform me of the findings of this research. Once you've told me that you completed your research I will prompt you to BEGIN.
Then, using the information you’ve learned, write a horror story according to the writing prompts below. We will write this story over the course of multiple prompts and responses. Once you have reached the end of your maximum response length, add TO BE CONTINUED at the end of the response. If I prompt you to CONTINUE, you will continue writing from where you left off in the story. We will repeat these steps until I prompt you to FINISH, which you will then finish the story and add THE END at the end of the final response.
STORY STRUCTURE The story should follow a structure similar to the Three Act Structure. The first act will be the Beginning Hook. The second act will be the Middle Build. And the final act will be the Ending Payoff. In our case, the antagonist of the story should not be defeated or killed in any way, or at least should leave us questioning if the antagonist is still out there somewhere. Be detailed and do not give us the cliff notes of the events in the story.
STORYTELLER The story must be told from the first-person perspective.
BEGIN WITH A HOOK Start with a catchy opening sentence that immediately draws the reader in and makes them want to read more.
SETTING A supposed uninhabited island in the Pacific.
CHARACTERS A squad of Marines sent for reconnaissance.
SYNOPSIS The squad starts disappearing one by one and they realize the island is home to a spectral entity that was awoken by their presence.
```
2023.05.28 19:12 reclusivegiraffe Newbie looking for help
 | I have a sort of long introduction: submitted by reclusivegiraffe to longhair [link] [comments] I recently stumbled across this sub and thought I’d post here, as you all seem pretty knowledgeable. I’ve had long hair for a couple years now, but only started caring for it like I should about a year ago. My hair is straight (the kind that won’t hold curls at all), and very very fine. Despite being fine, the amount of hair on my head is fairly thick. My hair is damaged from dying it and lightening it (I only had it lightened twice, and had only ever used semi permanent dye, so I’m not sure how it got so damaged). I was told to pick a dark color and stick with it — so I went with permanent black, which I occasionally refresh with semi permanent. My friend/stylist at the time told me that she would normally suggest cutting all the damage off, but she knew I wasn’t going to do that… so she told me to focus on deep conditioning and taking care of my hair to prevent further damage. So I invested in some high quality shampoos and conditioners (I use It’s a 10) and it has worked miracles on my hair. The next time I saw her, she told me it looked and felt SO MUCH better… and it had only improved since then. I also braid my hair at night before sleeping, to prevent friction breakage. I wash my hair every 3 days. I use a wet brush. I put in leave-in product after I shower. TLDR: fine, straight hair, chemical damage, I use good products and I braid my hair before sleep Now for my questions: 1. Most of my breakage happens in the shower when I’m washing my hair. How do I prevent that? 2. Does my hair look bad? I know I have some visible damage, but I’d like to think it’s still kinda pretty. (Excuse the uneven ends… the stylist didn’t comb back my part when trimming my hair) 3. Any other advice? I definitely don’t want to cut it unless I absolutely need to. Thank you! And sorry for the low quality photo! |
2023.05.28 19:12 strongbad4u (Spoilers main) Arya's development as a woman and a warg.
For those of you who have read the Mercy sample chapter it's very clear that George is intending for Arya's relationship with her sexuality and her development into being a woman grown to be something that get's explored.
It's pretty clear that Arya playing at being a maiden implies that pretty soon we will get a chapter about her becoming a maiden. When reading the very opening of the Mercy sample chapter it's not difficult to imagine Arya having a wolf dream that intimately relates to her first moon blood.
Consider how Sansa's first flowering happened with a dream.
We are repeatedly told throughout the series that a warg and their wolf are extensions of one another and that they both influence each other. While direwolf biology can work however George wants it to it's worth noting that for wolves sexual maturity is reached between 2- 3 years of age and their heat cycle usually begins in the deep winter months of January and February. Nymeria is in that age range and winter is here.
The Varamyr Sixskins chapter describes how there are three abominations: Eating of human flesh, having sex wolf to wolf ( or whatever animal you skinchange), and skin changing into a human being. Many people assume that Bran will commit all of the abominations, and he very well might later on, but he is much farther from puberty than Arya and boys already start puberty later than girls. It wouldn't be keeping with the idea that the wolves reflect something about their partner for Summer to start before Bran even has those kinds of thoughts. At the very least Arya will be the first Stark to commit that abomination.
submitted by strongbad4u to asoiaf [link] [comments]
For those of you who have read the Mercy sample chapter it's very clear that George is intending for Arya's relationship with her sexuality and her development into being a woman grown to be something that get's explored.
give Izembaro's cock a little suck and a girl can wear nay costume that she wants. Mercy was not so foolish as all that... " Girls who start down that road wind up on the ship, where every man in the pit knows he can have any pretty thing he might see up on the stage...:
" Bobono's cock was indeed flopping out. It was made to flop out..." Mercy, Mercy come to my room tonight and make a man of me." " I'll make a eunuch of you if you keep unlacing yourself just so I'll fiddle your crotch."
...With that he grabbed at her chest, fumbling for a nipple . " You have no titties. How can I rape a girl with no titties?" ... I'll grow titties in a year or two, but you'll never grow another nose. You think of that, before you touch me there.
" If this Izembaro wants to be hospitable, it would be rude to refuse." He gave her nipple a tweak through the fabric of her dress...Mummers are the next best thing to whores." "Might be but this one is a child. " " I am not", lied Mercy. " I'm a maiden now"
It's pretty clear that Arya playing at being a maiden implies that pretty soon we will get a chapter about her becoming a maiden. When reading the very opening of the Mercy sample chapter it's not difficult to imagine Arya having a wolf dream that intimately relates to her first moon blood.
She woke with a gasp, not knowing who she was, or where. The smell of blood was heavy in her nostrils... or was that her nightmare, lingering? she had dreamed of wolves again..."
She took a breath to quiet the howling in her heart, trying to remember more of what she'd dreamt, but most of it had gone already. There had been blood in it, though, and a full moon overhead... The air had grown chilly, and a good thing, else she might have slept all day. It would be just like Mercy to sleep through her own rape.
Consider how Sansa's first flowering happened with a dream.
That night Sansa dreamed of the riot again. The mob surged around her, shrieking, a maddened beast with a thousand faces....Women swarmed over her like weasels, pinching her legs and kicking her in the belly,.. Then she saw the bright glimmer of steel. The knife plunged into her belly and tore and tore and tore, until there was nothing left of her down there but shiny wet ribbons...and then she wakes
There was something sticky on her thighs . When she threw back the blanket and saw the blood, all she could think was that her dream had somehow come true... (Sansa, ACOK)My bold prediction though is that it won't just be that Nymeria get's bloody in a dream right before Arya's flowering, but instead Nymeria will go into heat as Arya "flowers".
We are repeatedly told throughout the series that a warg and their wolf are extensions of one another and that they both influence each other. While direwolf biology can work however George wants it to it's worth noting that for wolves sexual maturity is reached between 2- 3 years of age and their heat cycle usually begins in the deep winter months of January and February. Nymeria is in that age range and winter is here.
The Varamyr Sixskins chapter describes how there are three abominations: Eating of human flesh, having sex wolf to wolf ( or whatever animal you skinchange), and skin changing into a human being. Many people assume that Bran will commit all of the abominations, and he very well might later on, but he is much farther from puberty than Arya and boys already start puberty later than girls. It wouldn't be keeping with the idea that the wolves reflect something about their partner for Summer to start before Bran even has those kinds of thoughts. At the very least Arya will be the first Stark to commit that abomination.
2023.05.28 19:12 Michael_Ruggieri Why you have to quit gaming.
I don't think gaming can be moderated. Everyone's different and everyone has their own barriers, but gaming is really something. I've been gaming for many years, and I'm 16 now, so I have lots to say about gaming. I've played many games, starting with Minecraft on the XBOX 360 and I had an absolute blast with friends. This was an awesome period. From there, moving on to the PS4, I continued playing Minecraft, until the days of Fortnite, and that's really where I've spent thousands of hours. Again, playing with my friends, I had fun for sure. Then, I began playing single-player games, I really liked a good story. I played incredible games like Red Dead Redemption 2, the Witcher 3, and Fallout 4. I played these games alone, and that was a different feeling, but I still had fun. I was thinking about these games all the time. In the more recent games, I've probably played strategy games like Civilization. The point I want to make here is that video games are very, very fun, too fun. These games took up my life, especially when I grew up, I started playing games by myself for hours on hours. Then when my friends got on, I would play with them. I would play for hours and hours daily.
Just a year ago, I decided to start my self-improvement journey, and it has been an incredible decision. Gaming was not my entire life anymore. I began to have aspirations like bodybuilding, I began to work on my mental health, and now I'm learning how to code. What really made me make this post, is that yesterday, I decided to play games again. I haven't conquered gaming yet, I still have urges to go back to these games, so yesterday I went back. And I really just couldn't play, it was a single-player game, so not as addicting, but I couldn't do it. I really was not having that much fun.
While I just said video games are too fun, I think the reason why I personally wasn't having fun was because of how much I've played in the past and also because of the mindsets I've formed. I've experienced such highs from gaming, sometimes I think will I ever be able to have that much fun again? What I've realized is that those people who want to go far in life, who want to make it in the top 1%, they cannot afford to be playing games at any level. There's this quote, it says something like this: "It is disrespectful to not reach your potential after what your parents have sacrificed for you." Every time I play video games, this comes to my head, and I realize why am I even playing video games right now. I have a mission to pursue. If I look at life like a race, those people behind me in the race will pass me, if I play video games. This is not to say we cannot enjoy life, but I think everyone in this community knows what they want. True enjoyment comes from making progress in real life and achieving real, fulfilling goals. What about single-player games? I've played those too, and I truly think there are probably better stories out there in other media that don't take 20-30 hours to consume. I still play a little bit with my friends, but I do have fun and it's usually not for that long. We do things in real life, gaming is not the only link to our friendship.
Quitting video games starts with a single decision, and that is the decision to quit. Next, you must find your why. A good way can be to become an outlier, part of the 1% of people, to actually live and have a sense of freedom.
submitted by Michael_Ruggieri to StopGaming [link] [comments]
Just a year ago, I decided to start my self-improvement journey, and it has been an incredible decision. Gaming was not my entire life anymore. I began to have aspirations like bodybuilding, I began to work on my mental health, and now I'm learning how to code. What really made me make this post, is that yesterday, I decided to play games again. I haven't conquered gaming yet, I still have urges to go back to these games, so yesterday I went back. And I really just couldn't play, it was a single-player game, so not as addicting, but I couldn't do it. I really was not having that much fun.
While I just said video games are too fun, I think the reason why I personally wasn't having fun was because of how much I've played in the past and also because of the mindsets I've formed. I've experienced such highs from gaming, sometimes I think will I ever be able to have that much fun again? What I've realized is that those people who want to go far in life, who want to make it in the top 1%, they cannot afford to be playing games at any level. There's this quote, it says something like this: "It is disrespectful to not reach your potential after what your parents have sacrificed for you." Every time I play video games, this comes to my head, and I realize why am I even playing video games right now. I have a mission to pursue. If I look at life like a race, those people behind me in the race will pass me, if I play video games. This is not to say we cannot enjoy life, but I think everyone in this community knows what they want. True enjoyment comes from making progress in real life and achieving real, fulfilling goals. What about single-player games? I've played those too, and I truly think there are probably better stories out there in other media that don't take 20-30 hours to consume. I still play a little bit with my friends, but I do have fun and it's usually not for that long. We do things in real life, gaming is not the only link to our friendship.
Quitting video games starts with a single decision, and that is the decision to quit. Next, you must find your why. A good way can be to become an outlier, part of the 1% of people, to actually live and have a sense of freedom.
2023.05.28 19:12 Jah0047 How do I (25m) move forward in a relationship with my father (55m)?
My dad cheated on all his wives and I am very upset about it.
TLDR: I feel immature for not being able to just forgive my dad for cheating on his wives and creating such a tough/ broken family life for me.
Details A few nights ago my mom was very drunk and started telling me all kind of things from when her and my dad were together. She told me everything from when she started dating as an adult, to when she met my father, to when they got married, to when they got divorced and all the details in between. I learned that night my dad cheated on my mom multiple time with multiple women and had no real remorse for it (he later had a second child also cheating on that wife which landed him in another divorce) growing up my mom was a very distraught woman - she drank a lot, and still does, and beat the crap out of me when she was drunk (until I was old and big enough to defend myself) I’m now totally convinced she only really heavily drank because of how bad her relationship with my dad was and she beat me because I was my dads child and I veryyy closely resembled my dad (we look veryyy similar physically) anyways I saw my dad a reasonable amount growing up, but my dad has told me (while drunk) if I was female or if I was gay/ bisexual (I have felt urges towards other males when I was on therapy for depression) he would have had and still have nothing to do with me. Growing up my dad never really physically disciplined me (I’ve always thought it was because he felt bad about my mom beating me) in early highs school I asked if I could move in with him and he told me no that he did not have the money to support me full time as at this point I would only be around every other weekend and some holidays (this was not consistent because there were times he would be on business trips or could not see me for one reason or another but would always try to make it up by getting me Ice cream or a new video game I really wanted) I knew it was just a way to make up by giving me material goods and at the time I was okay with it because I got something I really wanted that my mom would never get for me but now as an adult or early adult I feel much different about those gifts. my dad has always been somewhat of an idol in my eyes, but now (over the past 2-3 years) I’ve learned and see things that make me really dislike my dad as a person (I think in some ways he tried his best but I feel a high level of anger and not wanting to be associated with him) I am a huge pile of conflicted emotions and not really sure what to think about it all. Growing up my dad was supportive and came to different sports games sometimes but nothing else (I really enjoyed scholars bowl and won awards frequently and he always told me I and my nerd friends could celebrate alone) he was not very supportive when I left medicine to go into finance and he hasn’t been very supportive in my most recent relationship - this girl has been one of the most amazing partners I’ve ever had (he says we’re moving to fast and I am drifting from my family) I have recently felt that I really, in some ways, do not even want him present at my wedding (I would love his monetary support because it’s expensive, but after learning more about who he is I just feel he’s a selfish ahole who did not understand how to be faithful to a partner) my dad has had a tough life, things were not always easy for him he grew up in an emotionally abusive household and his dad ran around a lot on his mom. I’m trying to remember that the way he acted reflected what he knew or what he learned from his childhood based on the way his parents were and that’s how he became as an adult, in some ways he was just a product of his environment and in others he knew exactly what he was doing wrong and did not hint to prevent it he never went to couple therapy he never asked for a break ofr divorce before cheating. My dad is just not the man I thought he was an I’m very upset by it all. His wives have always been slightly disrespectful to me (telling me things like I don’t behave or I’m a baby for crying or I’m a wimp for not standing up for myself or I’m a loser for dropping out of med school) I realize he has his own problems and it took time for him to admit those issues and try to work through those problems, but I can’t help but thinking my dad is a POS and I feel like I’m not being very understanding and being very judgmental - this is not all about me but I’m so upset he lied about everything that happened and just continued his way of life..
submitted by Jah0047 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
TLDR: I feel immature for not being able to just forgive my dad for cheating on his wives and creating such a tough/ broken family life for me.
Details A few nights ago my mom was very drunk and started telling me all kind of things from when her and my dad were together. She told me everything from when she started dating as an adult, to when she met my father, to when they got married, to when they got divorced and all the details in between. I learned that night my dad cheated on my mom multiple time with multiple women and had no real remorse for it (he later had a second child also cheating on that wife which landed him in another divorce) growing up my mom was a very distraught woman - she drank a lot, and still does, and beat the crap out of me when she was drunk (until I was old and big enough to defend myself) I’m now totally convinced she only really heavily drank because of how bad her relationship with my dad was and she beat me because I was my dads child and I veryyy closely resembled my dad (we look veryyy similar physically) anyways I saw my dad a reasonable amount growing up, but my dad has told me (while drunk) if I was female or if I was gay/ bisexual (I have felt urges towards other males when I was on therapy for depression) he would have had and still have nothing to do with me. Growing up my dad never really physically disciplined me (I’ve always thought it was because he felt bad about my mom beating me) in early highs school I asked if I could move in with him and he told me no that he did not have the money to support me full time as at this point I would only be around every other weekend and some holidays (this was not consistent because there were times he would be on business trips or could not see me for one reason or another but would always try to make it up by getting me Ice cream or a new video game I really wanted) I knew it was just a way to make up by giving me material goods and at the time I was okay with it because I got something I really wanted that my mom would never get for me but now as an adult or early adult I feel much different about those gifts. my dad has always been somewhat of an idol in my eyes, but now (over the past 2-3 years) I’ve learned and see things that make me really dislike my dad as a person (I think in some ways he tried his best but I feel a high level of anger and not wanting to be associated with him) I am a huge pile of conflicted emotions and not really sure what to think about it all. Growing up my dad was supportive and came to different sports games sometimes but nothing else (I really enjoyed scholars bowl and won awards frequently and he always told me I and my nerd friends could celebrate alone) he was not very supportive when I left medicine to go into finance and he hasn’t been very supportive in my most recent relationship - this girl has been one of the most amazing partners I’ve ever had (he says we’re moving to fast and I am drifting from my family) I have recently felt that I really, in some ways, do not even want him present at my wedding (I would love his monetary support because it’s expensive, but after learning more about who he is I just feel he’s a selfish ahole who did not understand how to be faithful to a partner) my dad has had a tough life, things were not always easy for him he grew up in an emotionally abusive household and his dad ran around a lot on his mom. I’m trying to remember that the way he acted reflected what he knew or what he learned from his childhood based on the way his parents were and that’s how he became as an adult, in some ways he was just a product of his environment and in others he knew exactly what he was doing wrong and did not hint to prevent it he never went to couple therapy he never asked for a break ofr divorce before cheating. My dad is just not the man I thought he was an I’m very upset by it all. His wives have always been slightly disrespectful to me (telling me things like I don’t behave or I’m a baby for crying or I’m a wimp for not standing up for myself or I’m a loser for dropping out of med school) I realize he has his own problems and it took time for him to admit those issues and try to work through those problems, but I can’t help but thinking my dad is a POS and I feel like I’m not being very understanding and being very judgmental - this is not all about me but I’m so upset he lied about everything that happened and just continued his way of life..
2023.05.28 19:11 HeatProper "good intentions aren't good enough"
This is the name of a book my ma gave me. When I was 15 I was diagnosed with asd. I dont want to start some argument about diagnosis criteria here but I will just say that as a person who has come to know myself and attempted to learn and understand what asd is. I do not believe I have asd. It wouldn't be the first false diagnosis I received. Anyways. This book supposedly helps with social issues. But it's such a horrible title imo. And it came at a time when I already felt worthless. She just put it on my bed. I didn't even read that much. And it made me cry. For 2 years I was upset about it. It just hit me wrong at a really bad time. Looking back I can see how I overreacted. But still. I dont think they should have titled it that. And honestly I've noticed a lot of asd related things have this problem. Someone pointed out to me it's ironic that the point of the title is you can try to do something good but if not careful upset someone. And that's exactly what my ma did by leaving this book with no explanation.
submitted by HeatProper to emotionalneglect [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 19:11 sadtothebone__ So..I did all of the things
Moved back home after 5years abroad. I was unhappy and clinged to one person to make my life better there. He made it worse. I left him (he left me).
I found a good job and am passing my drivings test soon. Doing all the things that I wanted to do and didn't have the motivation for in this other country. I am spending time with my beautiful, beautiful family. We have been through so much together and are now super strong as a whole.
I am an aunt, a sister, a daughter. Nobody in my family suffers from anything, they're all doing great and I love them. I am beyond grateful they gave me a chance to prove to them that they are important to me, since I spent most of my teenage years ignoring and fighting them. They were nasty at times too but, I figure now it was because I valued everyone else over them.
I did all of the things that were supposed to make me better and happier yet when everyone leaves I feel this emptiness and deep sadness. Why am I like this? Why do I miss someone who gave me nothing but words and empty promises? I know, I know, there's a perfect scientific, pscyhological explanation as to why we cling to these harmful feelings. I have done my homework. I did the work. Yet, when I think about him and remember how he looked at me, I still believe it wasn't all in my head. That cannot be.
If someone is capable of such deceit, how am I ever gonna be able to trust someone again.
What a fool I've been. Haha. Jokes on me
submitted by sadtothebone__ to self [link] [comments]
I found a good job and am passing my drivings test soon. Doing all the things that I wanted to do and didn't have the motivation for in this other country. I am spending time with my beautiful, beautiful family. We have been through so much together and are now super strong as a whole.
I am an aunt, a sister, a daughter. Nobody in my family suffers from anything, they're all doing great and I love them. I am beyond grateful they gave me a chance to prove to them that they are important to me, since I spent most of my teenage years ignoring and fighting them. They were nasty at times too but, I figure now it was because I valued everyone else over them.
I did all of the things that were supposed to make me better and happier yet when everyone leaves I feel this emptiness and deep sadness. Why am I like this? Why do I miss someone who gave me nothing but words and empty promises? I know, I know, there's a perfect scientific, pscyhological explanation as to why we cling to these harmful feelings. I have done my homework. I did the work. Yet, when I think about him and remember how he looked at me, I still believe it wasn't all in my head. That cannot be.
If someone is capable of such deceit, how am I ever gonna be able to trust someone again.
What a fool I've been. Haha. Jokes on me
2023.05.28 19:11 hardback750 She likes me but she doesn't want a relationship
I met this girl two months ago and we started dating. Things went perfectly for the first month and a half so much that i talked to her about my intentions. I told her that I would like to build a relationship with her, not now but in the future. We weren't aligned on this because she says that she is scared of committing because of her ex that cheated on her and beacause in six months she will leave the country for her studies. This discussion changed her off and she started spending more time with her friends and being more distant with me. (she saw a therapist for the ex thing too)
I confronted her on the fact that things after the discussion were not as they used to be and I told her that if things cannot go back to the way they were, then I have no interest in still seing her because I am already getting hurt by her behaviour. She felt really guilty and said she just went in protection mode. She promised to make an effort to change and try to get out of these protection mechanisms she built to defend herself. She also said that before doing this she wants to see how she will react from not talking to me for a week so rn we are having no contact.
She says that she likes me and I think she actually does. And it's so weird because I can see when she lets herself go and when she is holding back or playing unistrested. She could have all the guys in the world but she is dating me. She also didn't had other experiences other than her ex and other adventures that let her pretty hurt. I'm also the only guy she got intimate with other than her ex regardless of the fact that she kissed numerous guys and she had multiple times the chance to sleep with them.
I think she just inconsciously likes me for the attention I give her and regardless of what she will say after the break I might stop seeing her. I just want some opinions on this as I don't want to waste any chanche with this girl as I like her a lot.
(p.s. she also said that if she did't need to leave in six months she would have no doubts about trying in building a relationship with me as she does not believe in long distance relationship)
submitted by hardback750 to dating_advice [link] [comments]
I confronted her on the fact that things after the discussion were not as they used to be and I told her that if things cannot go back to the way they were, then I have no interest in still seing her because I am already getting hurt by her behaviour. She felt really guilty and said she just went in protection mode. She promised to make an effort to change and try to get out of these protection mechanisms she built to defend herself. She also said that before doing this she wants to see how she will react from not talking to me for a week so rn we are having no contact.
She says that she likes me and I think she actually does. And it's so weird because I can see when she lets herself go and when she is holding back or playing unistrested. She could have all the guys in the world but she is dating me. She also didn't had other experiences other than her ex and other adventures that let her pretty hurt. I'm also the only guy she got intimate with other than her ex regardless of the fact that she kissed numerous guys and she had multiple times the chance to sleep with them.
I think she just inconsciously likes me for the attention I give her and regardless of what she will say after the break I might stop seeing her. I just want some opinions on this as I don't want to waste any chanche with this girl as I like her a lot.
(p.s. she also said that if she did't need to leave in six months she would have no doubts about trying in building a relationship with me as she does not believe in long distance relationship)
2023.05.28 19:11 Penwinner Help to close this gap between doors
 | Greetings! submitted by Penwinner to fixit [link] [comments] I just bought a home and I was planning to make this room mine but I saw this big gap between its doors. It leaks sound tremendously and you can see through it too, that takes away much of my privacy I want to know how to fix it without having to change both doors. Is there any way I can close that gap between doors sound won’t leak as much and people won’t be able to peak inside lol Thank you so much! |
2023.05.28 19:11 ThrowRAHousem8Troubl My (26NB) friend (25NB) seems to recall events completely different, won't acknowledge things could have occurred any other way
I am seriously at a loss here. I've never had this issue with anyone else.
As relevant background, I have some issues around food being cooked all the way, due to some really horrible health issues as a kid. The TL;DR is that I've got ARFID coupled with a pretty severe phobia of vomiting. It sucks and even makes me anxious about what OTHER people eat.
I have two housemates who I've been friends with for a couple years. Max -- the 25NB friend in question -- and Kirby (24NB).
The most recent problem happened around dinner a few nights back I was cooking one part and Kirby was cooking the other. While Max and Kirby were talking about the part of the meal I was nervous about, I got the sense that I wasn't going to be able to eat it. I was inquiring about the texture, but I felt terrible about outright rejecting food. Max finally just said, "Yeah, you probably wouldn't like the texture."
I just sort of nervously laughed and jokingly asked, "You sure you're not just saying that so you can have my food?"
Max gave me a confused look and said no, then started saying that it was hard because they and Kirby like food the same way but I don't. I'll admit to being exasperated when I said that it isn't really that hard ... my stuff just needs to be left in longer. I might have raised my voice but I definitely didn't yell or sound angry. Max grabbed some food and left pretty soon after that (they had something they needed to get back to, so it didn't seem that weird) and then it was just me and Kirby. I apologized if I'd come off badly and Kirby assured me that I didn't, and they were sorry things weren't cooked all the way for me and would toss mine back in until it was done.
The next morning, I woke up to a wall of text from Max telling me that they were angry that I'd called them a liar, angry that I was taking my trauma out on them, and that it was clear from all the times I'd brought up my food issues that I was trying to bait them into a fight.
I was ... and still am ... pretty confused. I apologized for my tone and for getting upset, but said I never called them a liar. Apparently that remark was in response to the joke I made about them wanting my food -- I'll admit that I'm autistic and tone really isn't my strong suit. But I think the idea of me flat out calling them a liar is sort of a reach. It's not the sort of thing I'd do.
They expressed how upset they were at me for dismissing everything they'd said, and I again asserted that I was really sorry for the uncomfortable situation and for being exasperated with them, but there was some stuff they were saying that genuinely didn't happen, including all the assumptions made about what I was thinking when I'd talked about my food issues before (it's food ... it comes up a lot. I've been clear that I don't want it to cause any drama!). Things escalated to them saying they were never cooking for me again (they didn't even cook that night) and to never tell them about any of my trauma ever again.
Now one of Max's friends, extraneous to this whole situation, has been messaging me and trying to get me to listen to Max's side and apologize for calling them a liar. I feel absolutely backed into a corner and trapped. I don't think this is going away, even if I do apologize again for the situation or for making a joke at a bad time. Apparently Max's feelings about the whole situation trump anything that happened on my end.
Unfortunately this is NOT the first time this has happened. Even when I've tried to use my Therapist Voice (lots of "I feel like..."/passive voice/etc) to discuss a problem with Max (and even have people help me write things to be as non-threatening as possible), they tend to freak out, go on the offensive, not accept when I tell them I wasn't thinking anything like that at all, and argue things from a stance that makes me genuinely wonder if we experienced the same event. Details will be heavily skewed, there's either new information or information left out ... it's honestly sort of scary. I don't get the sense they're changing details on purpose, but it makes dealing with these situations that much more of a nightmare.
I have zero clue how to resolve this whole mess and I definitely don't want to drag Kirby into it. I just feel like the bad guy and I've just been hiding in my room the last few days. How do I resolve this??
submitted by ThrowRAHousem8Troubl to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
As relevant background, I have some issues around food being cooked all the way, due to some really horrible health issues as a kid. The TL;DR is that I've got ARFID coupled with a pretty severe phobia of vomiting. It sucks and even makes me anxious about what OTHER people eat.
I have two housemates who I've been friends with for a couple years. Max -- the 25NB friend in question -- and Kirby (24NB).
The most recent problem happened around dinner a few nights back I was cooking one part and Kirby was cooking the other. While Max and Kirby were talking about the part of the meal I was nervous about, I got the sense that I wasn't going to be able to eat it. I was inquiring about the texture, but I felt terrible about outright rejecting food. Max finally just said, "Yeah, you probably wouldn't like the texture."
I just sort of nervously laughed and jokingly asked, "You sure you're not just saying that so you can have my food?"
Max gave me a confused look and said no, then started saying that it was hard because they and Kirby like food the same way but I don't. I'll admit to being exasperated when I said that it isn't really that hard ... my stuff just needs to be left in longer. I might have raised my voice but I definitely didn't yell or sound angry. Max grabbed some food and left pretty soon after that (they had something they needed to get back to, so it didn't seem that weird) and then it was just me and Kirby. I apologized if I'd come off badly and Kirby assured me that I didn't, and they were sorry things weren't cooked all the way for me and would toss mine back in until it was done.
The next morning, I woke up to a wall of text from Max telling me that they were angry that I'd called them a liar, angry that I was taking my trauma out on them, and that it was clear from all the times I'd brought up my food issues that I was trying to bait them into a fight.
I was ... and still am ... pretty confused. I apologized for my tone and for getting upset, but said I never called them a liar. Apparently that remark was in response to the joke I made about them wanting my food -- I'll admit that I'm autistic and tone really isn't my strong suit. But I think the idea of me flat out calling them a liar is sort of a reach. It's not the sort of thing I'd do.
They expressed how upset they were at me for dismissing everything they'd said, and I again asserted that I was really sorry for the uncomfortable situation and for being exasperated with them, but there was some stuff they were saying that genuinely didn't happen, including all the assumptions made about what I was thinking when I'd talked about my food issues before (it's food ... it comes up a lot. I've been clear that I don't want it to cause any drama!). Things escalated to them saying they were never cooking for me again (they didn't even cook that night) and to never tell them about any of my trauma ever again.
Now one of Max's friends, extraneous to this whole situation, has been messaging me and trying to get me to listen to Max's side and apologize for calling them a liar. I feel absolutely backed into a corner and trapped. I don't think this is going away, even if I do apologize again for the situation or for making a joke at a bad time. Apparently Max's feelings about the whole situation trump anything that happened on my end.
Unfortunately this is NOT the first time this has happened. Even when I've tried to use my Therapist Voice (lots of "I feel like..."/passive voice/etc) to discuss a problem with Max (and even have people help me write things to be as non-threatening as possible), they tend to freak out, go on the offensive, not accept when I tell them I wasn't thinking anything like that at all, and argue things from a stance that makes me genuinely wonder if we experienced the same event. Details will be heavily skewed, there's either new information or information left out ... it's honestly sort of scary. I don't get the sense they're changing details on purpose, but it makes dealing with these situations that much more of a nightmare.
I have zero clue how to resolve this whole mess and I definitely don't want to drag Kirby into it. I just feel like the bad guy and I've just been hiding in my room the last few days. How do I resolve this??
2023.05.28 19:11 king_of_dreams1 Need some job-related advice: doing something I think I love vs doing something safe
My biggest passion has always been music and I am thinking of becoming a sound engineer and working in the music/media industry. The pay is obviously not great and the job prospects are quite slim, but I'm pretty sure I would like to be surrounded by creatives and other audiophiles. I also already applied to university to study sound engineering.
However, due to my mental and physical health being quite bad, I started to seriously doubt it and this passion has diminished over time. I realised how many advantages a career in IT or CS in general can bring me. Apart from being able to move in pretty much every country in Europe due to there being a demand in programmers and such, it also pays above average even in entry-levels jobs. This means that I will be able to afford my own apartment almost right away. The job prospects are also increasing, especially in capital cities where I would be interested in living. I will probably not like working in the field, but I can probably force myself to like it. I will also have enough money to take care of myself better.
I think I am a smart guy, so I'm pretty sure I can manage to learn programming or IT-related stuff (I've studied computer science all throughout high-school).
I feel stuck and I really just want to be happy and financially safe. Does anyone have any advice?
submitted by king_of_dreams1 to AskIreland [link] [comments]
However, due to my mental and physical health being quite bad, I started to seriously doubt it and this passion has diminished over time. I realised how many advantages a career in IT or CS in general can bring me. Apart from being able to move in pretty much every country in Europe due to there being a demand in programmers and such, it also pays above average even in entry-levels jobs. This means that I will be able to afford my own apartment almost right away. The job prospects are also increasing, especially in capital cities where I would be interested in living. I will probably not like working in the field, but I can probably force myself to like it. I will also have enough money to take care of myself better.
I think I am a smart guy, so I'm pretty sure I can manage to learn programming or IT-related stuff (I've studied computer science all throughout high-school).
I feel stuck and I really just want to be happy and financially safe. Does anyone have any advice?
2023.05.28 19:11 love_acting99 Question about spec scripts
I'm currently writing a bunch of original projects and I love it, but I need (and want) to start writing spec scripts. I found a bunch of helpful articles online explaining different "rules" and suggestions about writing specs that are all really helpful, but what I don't get is when we're writing an episode, since a spec is like writing a "new" episode for an already existing series, do we like choose where the episode goes in the series? Like I don't understand how to write one like would we put the spec somewhere in the season and make up events that still tie into the already existing events. Or do we treat it as a standalone episode? I'm not sure how much has to be made up and how much has to tie into the reality of the show.
submitted by love_acting99 to Screenwriting [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 19:10 Acrobatic-Rub6971 tried poly with my partner but ended up breaking up
when my partner [35 NB] and I [30 F] started to get to know each other, they have told me that they're polyamorous. then i said i can't be in a relationship with them because i'm monogamous. but then they told me that they could be monogamous if they really love the person. so i decided to give it a shot with them because i really like them. for 2 years, we were happy as a couple, i really love my partner and also feel so loved by them. we talked about getting married a lot in the past 2 years and already had plans for it, they even already proposed to me last year. but in the past month, a lot of things have changed.
last month, my partner got close with their friend who's polyamorous (who's also my friend, the three of us know each other), they started talking a lot. then my partner confessed to me that they can't deny that they're poly, so they asked my opinion about it and also asked for my permission for them to see other people. so i asked them what sort of relationships they're looking for, they said they just want to connect with other people as more than friends because that way usually you can learn a lot from the person, because usually in friendships it's mostly at surface level only. i thought if it makes them happy then i'm ok with it, then we started talking about boundaries, what's ok and not ok to do with other people. we finally already agreed on certain boundaries: less physical intimacy (no sex). at the end of our conversation, my partner still reassured me that they want to marry me and come home to me as their wife. but then 3-4 weeks later, their relationship with the polyamorous friend has escalated really quickly to a very serious one (romantically). they feel that they're very compatible with each other and have a very strong connection together, and very aligned with each other. and the new girlfriend wants to visit my partner in europe for a month. my partner said the boundaries are going to be hard to be adhered when they’re in the same room together with her. to be honest i felt very overwhelmed by this sudden change. not long after that, when i asked them if they still want to marry me, they said they have to discuss with the other girlfriend because she wants to have kids meanwhile i don't (at least for now). i couldn’t help but feel really sad, why would my partner change their mind so quickly about our plans to get married. i’m still not sure if i’m selfish to want marriage from them. i just see marriage as something beautiful when 2 people commit to be there for each other for a lifetime, and there are also legal benefits to it. if i get married with my partner, i would get a spouse visa which would allow me to move to their country and live together with them (we’re in an LDR, i’m from asia and they’re from europe). but now my ex’s priorities have changed so drastically, they want to prioritize their new girlfriend’s kids so that they can be parents together. even though i get that it makes more sense for my partner to marry their girlfriend for the kids, i couldn’t help but feel left out. i couldn’t be there to be with my partner for a longer period of time without a spouse visa. i have to get another type of visa myself with much harder work (i should get a freelancer visa but my income has to be high enough, and my yearly income right now hasn’t met the requirement and i’m still working hard on my freelancing career to gain more income). my partner said that the rules about visa aren’t in their control so there’s nothing they can really do about it. i couldn’t deny that i felt disappointed by this. i was so ready to move to my partner’s country, leave my home country and my career to be with them. i had to wait for 2 years because at the time my partner was still living with their ex, and there was also the pandemic. but now when the pandemic is over and the ex finally moved out, i thought i could finally get married and be with my partner, but apparently they changed their mind about our marrying me. after talking about it to them, my partner offered me a ceremonious marriage, i think it’s better than nothing but to be honest the legal consequences of not being married to my partner still sting.
but then this morning, after talking about the whole marriage thing, my partner confessed to me that the physical attraction that they feel towards me has decreased a lot. they also didn't really realize it because they were on anti-depressants, that usually can make you feel numb. but in the past month my partner hasn't taken any AD because they want to make art (they’re an artist) so they can feel more. that’s when they realized that the physical attraction isn't really there anymore. i understand that attraction is a mystery sometimes, and my partner has no control over it. but then i thought, if i have a partner, i want them to be physically attracted to me and think that i'm hot. because my partner doesn't feel that way anymore, I decided to end the relationship. throughout all of this, they have reassured me that they love me the same, their feelings don't change, they still love me very much. this is what makes it even harder to break up, because we still love each other deeply.
to be honest i still can’t wrap my head around what happened, how my partner and I got here, and whether it’s my fault to want marriage with my partner, or maybe i should’ve put more effort into how i look so that my partner could still feel physically attracted to me, i need perspectives from other people to make sense of everything. thank you so much for reading this far, i really appreciate it.
submitted by Acrobatic-Rub6971 to polyamory [link] [comments]
last month, my partner got close with their friend who's polyamorous (who's also my friend, the three of us know each other), they started talking a lot. then my partner confessed to me that they can't deny that they're poly, so they asked my opinion about it and also asked for my permission for them to see other people. so i asked them what sort of relationships they're looking for, they said they just want to connect with other people as more than friends because that way usually you can learn a lot from the person, because usually in friendships it's mostly at surface level only. i thought if it makes them happy then i'm ok with it, then we started talking about boundaries, what's ok and not ok to do with other people. we finally already agreed on certain boundaries: less physical intimacy (no sex). at the end of our conversation, my partner still reassured me that they want to marry me and come home to me as their wife. but then 3-4 weeks later, their relationship with the polyamorous friend has escalated really quickly to a very serious one (romantically). they feel that they're very compatible with each other and have a very strong connection together, and very aligned with each other. and the new girlfriend wants to visit my partner in europe for a month. my partner said the boundaries are going to be hard to be adhered when they’re in the same room together with her. to be honest i felt very overwhelmed by this sudden change. not long after that, when i asked them if they still want to marry me, they said they have to discuss with the other girlfriend because she wants to have kids meanwhile i don't (at least for now). i couldn’t help but feel really sad, why would my partner change their mind so quickly about our plans to get married. i’m still not sure if i’m selfish to want marriage from them. i just see marriage as something beautiful when 2 people commit to be there for each other for a lifetime, and there are also legal benefits to it. if i get married with my partner, i would get a spouse visa which would allow me to move to their country and live together with them (we’re in an LDR, i’m from asia and they’re from europe). but now my ex’s priorities have changed so drastically, they want to prioritize their new girlfriend’s kids so that they can be parents together. even though i get that it makes more sense for my partner to marry their girlfriend for the kids, i couldn’t help but feel left out. i couldn’t be there to be with my partner for a longer period of time without a spouse visa. i have to get another type of visa myself with much harder work (i should get a freelancer visa but my income has to be high enough, and my yearly income right now hasn’t met the requirement and i’m still working hard on my freelancing career to gain more income). my partner said that the rules about visa aren’t in their control so there’s nothing they can really do about it. i couldn’t deny that i felt disappointed by this. i was so ready to move to my partner’s country, leave my home country and my career to be with them. i had to wait for 2 years because at the time my partner was still living with their ex, and there was also the pandemic. but now when the pandemic is over and the ex finally moved out, i thought i could finally get married and be with my partner, but apparently they changed their mind about our marrying me. after talking about it to them, my partner offered me a ceremonious marriage, i think it’s better than nothing but to be honest the legal consequences of not being married to my partner still sting.
but then this morning, after talking about the whole marriage thing, my partner confessed to me that the physical attraction that they feel towards me has decreased a lot. they also didn't really realize it because they were on anti-depressants, that usually can make you feel numb. but in the past month my partner hasn't taken any AD because they want to make art (they’re an artist) so they can feel more. that’s when they realized that the physical attraction isn't really there anymore. i understand that attraction is a mystery sometimes, and my partner has no control over it. but then i thought, if i have a partner, i want them to be physically attracted to me and think that i'm hot. because my partner doesn't feel that way anymore, I decided to end the relationship. throughout all of this, they have reassured me that they love me the same, their feelings don't change, they still love me very much. this is what makes it even harder to break up, because we still love each other deeply.
to be honest i still can’t wrap my head around what happened, how my partner and I got here, and whether it’s my fault to want marriage with my partner, or maybe i should’ve put more effort into how i look so that my partner could still feel physically attracted to me, i need perspectives from other people to make sense of everything. thank you so much for reading this far, i really appreciate it.
2023.05.28 19:10 AutoModerator Agency Navigator by Iman Gadzhi (Here)
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Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)
submitted by AutoModerator to ImanGadzhiUnion [link] [comments]
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:
- Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
- Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
- Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
- Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
- Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
- Starting Your Agency
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- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)
2023.05.28 19:10 catslikeboxes How do I turn a tree into slabs? Is this worth doing?
I have a large maple tree in my front yard. The main trunk is about 3' in diameter and 14' high. It's in pretty rough shape. It'll probably need to come down in the next few years. I'd hate to see it go to waste, so I'm thinking of turning it into slabs. Is a chainsaw mill the best way to do this? How long will slabs have to sit before they're usable? Is it worth trying to sell these slabs? I know it'll be a long time before I could use all of that wood. Basically, I don't know what I don't know. Any advice/tips are appreciated!
submitted by catslikeboxes to woodworking [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 19:10 AutoModerator Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator (Top Course)
Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
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The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)
submitted by AutoModerator to ImanGadzhiAccess [link] [comments]
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:
- Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
- Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
- Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
- Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
- Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)
2023.05.28 19:10 AutoModerator John Anthony - Platinum Dating System (Here)
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Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
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submitted by AutoModerator to JohnAnthonyDating [link] [comments]
I have John Anthony Lifestyle - Platinum Dating System.
John Anthony Lifestyle - Platinum Dating System is one of the best available products on how to improve your love life and your overall success with women.
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To get John Anthony Lifestyle - Platinum Dating System contact me on:
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2023.05.28 19:10 AutoModerator Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator (Course Updates)
Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)
submitted by AutoModerator to AgencyIncubatorIman [link] [comments]
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:
- Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
- Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
- Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
- Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
- Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)
2023.05.28 19:10 qedgbmk Can someone more experienced go over my plan and give some advice?
After a successful UB tek grow, I’ve decided to go all in. Here’s my current plan and supplies-
Supplies-
8 spore syringes, 2 of 4 different strains (been sitting in my fridge for about a month, how long can I store them this way?)
8 grow bags .2 micron for inoculation
8 grow bags .5 micron for s2b
Lots of coco coir, verm, gypsum for s2b
23qt pressure canner
40 lbs of dry brown rice courtesy of costco
Plan-
Cook the rice (how long? Do I boil or simmer?)
Put in .2 micron bags (how much per bag?)
Pressure cook bags (how long, what temp, general tips please!)
Squirt in the shroom juice, cover hole with paper tape (how many CCs per bag? Do I do a full syringe per bag or just .5 cc like UB tek or somewhere in the middle?)
Wait
Wait
Break and shake (should I even do this? Seen mixed opinions in shroom communities, some people have tested it and seen minimal to no benefit)
Wait
Wait
Put coir in 5 gal bucket, pour a pot of boiling water on it. Stir with knife, cover and let sit overnight (my last grow got contam after the first flush, so I think I may have messed up this step. Should I do it differently? Any advice?)
Put fully colonized rice in .5 micron bags for s2b with coco coir, verm, gypsum (how much of each ingredient? Do I use all the colonized rice from a .2 bag in a .5 s2b bag?)
Harvest as veils begin breaking
Rehydrate bag after flush (any advice on how to go about this?)
Repeat previous 2 steps until the bag is done
(Should I even s2b inside a bag? Should I buy a bunch more big monotubs and s2b there?)
Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading! If there’s any posts or other resources you’d recommend I check out before I go for it, please link them in the comments!
submitted by qedgbmk to unclebens [link] [comments]
Supplies-
8 spore syringes, 2 of 4 different strains (been sitting in my fridge for about a month, how long can I store them this way?)
8 grow bags .2 micron for inoculation
8 grow bags .5 micron for s2b
Lots of coco coir, verm, gypsum for s2b
23qt pressure canner
40 lbs of dry brown rice courtesy of costco
Plan-
Cook the rice (how long? Do I boil or simmer?)
Put in .2 micron bags (how much per bag?)
Pressure cook bags (how long, what temp, general tips please!)
Squirt in the shroom juice, cover hole with paper tape (how many CCs per bag? Do I do a full syringe per bag or just .5 cc like UB tek or somewhere in the middle?)
Wait
Wait
Break and shake (should I even do this? Seen mixed opinions in shroom communities, some people have tested it and seen minimal to no benefit)
Wait
Wait
Put coir in 5 gal bucket, pour a pot of boiling water on it. Stir with knife, cover and let sit overnight (my last grow got contam after the first flush, so I think I may have messed up this step. Should I do it differently? Any advice?)
Put fully colonized rice in .5 micron bags for s2b with coco coir, verm, gypsum (how much of each ingredient? Do I use all the colonized rice from a .2 bag in a .5 s2b bag?)
Harvest as veils begin breaking
Rehydrate bag after flush (any advice on how to go about this?)
Repeat previous 2 steps until the bag is done
(Should I even s2b inside a bag? Should I buy a bunch more big monotubs and s2b there?)
Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading! If there’s any posts or other resources you’d recommend I check out before I go for it, please link them in the comments!
2023.05.28 19:09 Rare-Championship816 Colorado- grounds for a restraining order?
Details vague for privacy reasons (case involves children).
Person A was caught on camera assaulting (non sexual, in case it matters) Child 1 and 2 and has been charged for it. Person A was arrested for assaulting Child 1 and made bail before charges were added for actions against Child 2. Many other children were present (5+ children), but due to context I'm not sharing for privacy, it is unclear how much the other children actually witnessed. Due to that same context, Person 1 has opportunity to know where every single one of those children live, and had opportunity to do similar acts to the other children that may not have been visible on camera.
Parents of Child 2 intend to file for a restraining order. They feel confident they will be granted a restraining order for their own property.
The parents of child 2 also intend to request as part of the restraining order that Person A is restricted from going near the homes of all children who were present during the assaults.
The logic: 1) all children were potential witness to Person A's violent acts. 2) All children are potential unidentified victims of Person A's acts. 3) Person A knows where all these children live, which puts them at risk.
The actual question:
Is this argument a complete waste of time under Colorado law, or is there a chance a judge would do it? Additionally, if different arguments would be more effective, I'd appreciate hearing them.
submitted by Rare-Championship816 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Person A was caught on camera assaulting (non sexual, in case it matters) Child 1 and 2 and has been charged for it. Person A was arrested for assaulting Child 1 and made bail before charges were added for actions against Child 2. Many other children were present (5+ children), but due to context I'm not sharing for privacy, it is unclear how much the other children actually witnessed. Due to that same context, Person 1 has opportunity to know where every single one of those children live, and had opportunity to do similar acts to the other children that may not have been visible on camera.
Parents of Child 2 intend to file for a restraining order. They feel confident they will be granted a restraining order for their own property.
The parents of child 2 also intend to request as part of the restraining order that Person A is restricted from going near the homes of all children who were present during the assaults.
The logic: 1) all children were potential witness to Person A's violent acts. 2) All children are potential unidentified victims of Person A's acts. 3) Person A knows where all these children live, which puts them at risk.
The actual question:
Is this argument a complete waste of time under Colorado law, or is there a chance a judge would do it? Additionally, if different arguments would be more effective, I'd appreciate hearing them.
2023.05.28 19:09 fluffal_mouse i feel like i have no definite features and its making my bdd worse
my experience with bdd has always been shapeshifting. every photo of me looks like a totally different person i have no idea what i actually look like. even in front of the mirror one day my nose is too big and ill spend all day looking at it and measuring it and comparing it to other noses to try and decide if it is. then a few days later ill realize my nose is completely fine and im not even sure why i felt it was large to begin with but my eyes will be too uneven and then ill be upset about that and the cycle just continues like that where every day its something different thats wrong. my first instinct is to try to ground myself by stating facts but honestly i dont know how to even begin describing my appearance. unfortunately im pretty much middle ground in everything and it means that if i try to say im one thing some people will agree while someone else will get mad i even considered myself in that category to begin with. for example my hair color is a level 7. i call it blonde and some people say yes of course youre dark blonde but other people will say why are you trying to pretend to be blonde youre clearly brunette. im 5'3 and i get heated responses regardless of if i say im short or average. if i say im on the chunkier side someone will say im crazy im really skinny and if i say im skinny someone likes to remind me im kind of chubby. i cant tell what size my lips are bc some people say i have big lips and other people say i have small lips. its all very confusing. like everything about me is exactly middle ground that i cant describe myself without it being controversial. how am i supposed to make sense of what i look like if everybody tells me different things? i cant even defend myself when people are being mean bc i have no idea whats true. its so frustrating! does anybody else have this problem and is there anyway to make it better?
submitted by fluffal_mouse to BodyDysmorphia [link] [comments]