For people that don’t know I’m referring to the tik tok woman Ashley https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRoG2KAd/
Also for people who don’t know black women sometimes attach wigs with glue, by sewing or by clipping the hair down with combs which would anchor it into your natural hair. Snatching anyone’s wigs can cause your natural hair to be ripped out and it becomes bleed. (I’ve seen it so trust me it’s not pretty)
Now to destiny’s take. https://youtu.be/7o26tbQJ45o
The way that destiny babies this full grown adult by saying “he just looks drunk and confused” and “there’s no room for error anymore” is just weird to say the least. Theres like stupid drunk behavior and then there’s being unusually violent and cruel unprovoked.
Like this man has enough sense to become a lawyer but not enough to keep his intrusive thoughts to himself? C’mon man.
I think it was also unfair to say “I feel as if every single altercation that a person has now in real life has to be like the most important event that has ever happened to them” and essentially conclude that this was no biggie.
Like imagine this for a second, you’re walking down the road and someone you have never met comes up behind you and rips your hair off of your head, in the middle of a busy intersection, in front of everyone, in fucking NEW YORK out of all places in the world. It looked like she may have been going out so she probably spent time looking nice only to be assaulted and embarrassed. Like Yeah that would be on my top ten “dumbest shit that’s every happened to me”.
I honestly wouldn’t even have the courage to confront the man, I’d probably go home, cry and never wear a wig again.
I don’t think people understand how just being black and having hair invites so much weird invasive interactions our way. I’ve had men and women come up to me and touch or yank at my braids without permission. I got my hair straightened in high school once and a kid pulled at my natural hair and said “is this a weave”.
Like I get what destiny is saying, don’t socially lynch the dude. There should be some room for redemption, but the amount of sympathy he had off the bat for him, versus the person who was victimized by his aggressively stupid behavior was insane to me. Cancel culture is generally a bad thing, but no person should have to burden the thought of YOUR job security, or YOUR personal growth when you are running around assualting them.

“It’s obvious why he’s stuck around as long as he has. He’s such a good dude. Guys love him,” says Jeff Hornacek, who coached Smith in Phoenix in 2013-14.
“Anybody asks me about my professionalism, I tell them, I learned a lot from Ish,” says KCP, who’s been on three teams with him. “Just being with him in Detroit, and him moving around, and (us) meeting up in Washington. It never seems like it bothers him. He stays happy, smiling, like always supporting the group. I learned a lot from him.”

It took humility — most coming honestly, because Smith is that kind of man, from that kind of family. His mother cleaned houses in the mornings and raised him, along with his two sisters and a brother, in the afternoons. His father taught at a high school in the morning, then did janitorial work in the evenings, for the family company.
There were no excuses in the Smith home, and no shortcuts. When Smith was entering his senior year at Central Cabarrus High in Concord, N.C., he wanted a car — “a green Honda Accord, $2,500, 1993,” Smith recalled. His father pointed down to the baseboards in a classroom at his father’s school.
“‘Ish, you want this car?,'” his father asked him. “‘We’re going to pull (the old baseboards) off, and you’re going to put some new baseboards down. They need new baseboards. That’s how you’re going to get your money.’ That’s kind of indicative of how I was raised, why I work, why I don’t trip. If you told any of us that we’d be sitting there, at this time, when we were young, we would have signed up.”
It’s still hard, though, in a league that tests you every day, and that works overtime to grind you down, question your worth, to not get jaded about the business. Yet Smith never has complained about the myriad trades that have been a regular part of his Februarys, or the minimum contracts, or the sporadic playing time.
“He’s been like that forever,” says Stan Van Gundy, now an analyst for TNT, who coached him in Orlando and Detroit.
“He’s just, he totally gets how fortunate, not just himself, but anyone, is to be in the NBA and playing. He’s just one of the most grateful people — not just in the NBA — that I’ve been around. He appreciates everything that’s happened. And he’s worked his ass off to get all this. But he doesn’t even really talk about that. He’s just seriously grateful to be able to play in the league, and everything else. … I never saw a day, not one, where Ish was down and didn’t have enthusiasm, didn’t have energy. Not one day.”

It’s why Smith is fine with playing only a little more than nine minutes a game this season. The Nuggets have Jamal Murray to handle the rock, and have revitalized Bruce Brown’s usage as a point guard, as he played effectively earlier in his career. So Smith sits. Yet the one achievement Smith’s never been able to reach through his play is now three victories from happening, in a season where he’s rarely played at all. The Show is funny that way.
“It would be gratifying, honestly,” Smith says. “And, that’s not everything. A piece of jewelry isn’t any and everything. But, man. The years you go through, the 13 years and counting. The years you won 10 games. The years you were enjoying a city, you’re on a team, and all of a sudden they call you and say, ‘Ish, you’re about to get traded.’ Then the years you’re in Detroit and keep hitting your head on the ninth seed, then you finally get in the eighth seed and play Milwaukee, and they bust your head. Those, it just feels like it’s putting an icing on the cake.
“A ring isn’t everything, but man, it (would feel) good.”

Link: https://theathletic.com/4572966/2023/06/04/nba-finals-denver-nuggets-ish-smith-not-a-journeyman/
Good read for a guy who has the NBA record for most teams played and is now just three wins away from finally winning a title after enduring team mediocrity throughout his career.
Would be happy for Ish, Jeff Green and DJ to win it all. I think it is safe to say that they will finally hang up their journeyman tag as they found home in Denver

I am constantly miserable. I'm just functioning. But, I have no one, which is making this all worse. I really, badly, just need a chance to vent and get it all out. Please don't comment if you are just going to make me feel worse. No comments at all are fine. I just need to get it out.
My life has been unfortunate. It could have been worse. It could have been better. But for many many years now it has just been nothing but stress, disappointment, and frustration. I have reached a point where I no longer have anything to get me excited for the future, nothing to look forward to, this is just my life now and I'm trying to figure out how to be okay with that.
Years ago my children were still young and sweet. They loved me. Every time they saw me they were happy and I was a good and active mom. I went back to school. I did well in school. I started working outside the home again. I wasn't in phenomenal shape but I was at least average and could do this like take my kids to the pool. I had such high goals and dreams for myself. I knew I just had to work hard and I was ready! I have always had strong work ethic.
But, everything has been an unfortunate series of events ever since with very little happiness in between. My career and school goals were totally derailed. Originally my husband was studying for an additional certification that would have made major changes for us. But, he decided to "let me" have my time in school instead. He ended up having a bad accident and was bedbound or close to it for many years afterward. It became impossible for me to finish my original career path and school AND work AND keep up with the kids, house, pets, yard, etc. So, I settled for a lesser certification and not an additional degree so I could focus on family.
I found a job that I was in love with. They made me think I was going to go so far. Constantly told me I was their "star employee". I loved my position. But, I quickly started to see the overturn rate, that management gossiping a lot, and that it was a toxic environment to work in. I still tried. I tried SO hard. I was a great employee. I really wanted to prove that I could be the employee tough enough to take it and still shine. But when someone else at work grabbed me "as a joke" and then I was belittled for going to management about it and told I encouraged it? It was time to quit. Really, I don't think my mental health has ever recovered from my time there.
I quit my job. I went to work in a different type of environment hoping it would give me a positive change. I hated it. LOATHED it. I was good at it but I hated every moment of it. After my husband was walking again and able to help with the kids I brought up going back to school. I shifted my focus since my health won't let me work the way I used to. I worked really hard... only to find that my chosen degree won't get me anywhere in my state. Due to all my state guidelines I basically do not have a degree that relates that anything I would be happy doing.
Currently, I went back to work at the place I was last content. I can't stretch as far as saying, "happy". Those days still had struggles. It isn't the same. I know I eventually need to find another job but I have no idea where to look or what to do. I feel like I can't find anything and whatever recruiters are contacting me for pays terrible and I know I would be so unhappy doing. I have 0 direction. No idea what to do. I can't work part-time forever.
My kids are growing. They don't want to spend time with mom anymore unless I'm giving them money or taking them somewhere. I try to have fun and joke around with them like we used to and they just get irritated with me now. I lost all my friends. How could I not? It has been years since I have been able to go do "fun" things. My responsibility level was too high. I have no one to talk to. I used to call one of my parents but now they are dying so that really isn't an option and also another huge source of stress.
My physical and mental health are greatly deteriorating. It is getting harder and harder to just live day to day. I'm a robot just completing actions with no real goal. Once my husband was healthy I encouraged him to get out and about since he was stuck for so long. I was worried about the quality of his life. He is back working out, has lost a tremendous amount of weight, he is buying himself new name brand clothes, has new hobbies, goes out with friends, and has continued to recieve raises and promotions at work on a steady basis. Although, admittedly he hates his current position. But, constantly reminds me of interviews or offers he has from other countries and the significant salaries that will go with it.
I try to open up to him about how I'm feeling and he gets mad. He gets frustrated with me. He snaps or yells and tells me to stop making him feel guilty for having a life. That I CAN go out. I CHOOSE not to. Even though I keep trying to remind him that I don't have any friends to do things with. He throws out names of people that I barely know, haven't spoken to in years, or his friend's wives like they would just immediately accept me. If I'm frustrated about work he tells me to just suck it up and find a position, get experience, and figure the rest out later. That he makes enough money anyway so I can take the pay cut. Or when he's really mad, "God, you need help."
I have put on weight. I look disgusting. Most days I'm embarrassed to even be seen in public because I have just let myself go so bad. I panic having to go to events, especially with people I know, trying to seem "normal" at events puts me in a depression for days. I have managed to only have to go places once or twice a year. Mainly just things like funerals. I can't stand that people can just look at me and know that I am a failure in life. I don't want people to ask me how I'm doing, how is school (I didn't tell anyone I graduated because I'm embarrassed by my degree), how is my marriage, how are my kids, how is work? I don't have a good answer for any of it. I just try to do the basic hugs and hello and then find a way to put myself back in a corner and try not to be noticed or put the focus on the other person.
My house is falling apart and I'm struggling to keep up with the home repair but we can't afford to have other people come fix stuff. My mind just isn't good. I can't take most medications because of my health issues. I take what I can. I take supplements. My job is physical. I'm trying to get back into working out but my family is always around and I'm too embarrassed to work out in front of them. I cook healthy meals. I have leftovers available. I have a music Playlist that I listen to that helps me get through my emotions or at least let's me cry because I fight crying so much. My sex life is definitely going downhill. He has a million excuses why when I can tell the reason is just that he is sick of me.
I'm tired. I'm sad. I'm hopeless. I have 0 idea what to do. Therapy does not work for me. I have tried it so many times and it routinely makes me feel significantly worse than better. I have tried to join groups to make friends and just end up with creepy dudes wanting to talk and within 5 lines it is just sex. I try to plan going out but can't find anyone to go with. Any time for "hobbies" is spent doing home repair.
Like... what do I do? How do I get back having hope this will get better? I know things aren't getting better from here. At the age that I'm at in not going to magically become more pretty. Even if I do exercise I'm never going to be "thin". No, I can't go back to school again. We physically cannot afford it again. I can't force my children to spend time with me. I can't fault my husband for being sick of being stuck with the ugly, depressed, burr of a wife he has stuck to him, which is why I encourage him to go do things away from me. I can keep chipping away at my house, but that is just chores. I'm basically just trying to fix it up well enough to sell. I listen to Hz frequency music for mood elevation. I try to watch funny animal videos or save funny memes.
I don't know what to do. I'm just lost. I'm just tired of being me.

Maddie accidentally crashes Blake’s (From the Tik Tok Live) Tesla but it’s ok because she says the flamingo has a great bus system. Upon riding a bus back to flamingo the other Blake from high school shoots out the bus tire and intercepts the bus. She is taken but it’s up to blake (the one from the live) to rescue her like peach in super Mario brothers. What will happen? Luckily she leaves a trail of rose petals because blake (from Tik Tok live) bought her over $700 worth of roses and the other blake did not think to take them away. She also begs the other blake from high school to let her go to the gym and retrieve a charger before being taken off. Will blake (from live) find her we’ll find out tomorrow at the live

(TL;DR AT BOTTOM)
Background: I liked F (my crush) since the sixth grade, but it faded for a bit. I was a bit of a social outcast at my school prior to Freshman year as well, but I had a lot of friends.
Cue freshman year. Freshman year was pretty awesome for me to be honest. At this point, I had become extremely close with another guy who we can call Chris. Me and Chris would often hang out on zooms together, do assignments together with some of our other friends and so on. F and Chris were both in my science class. I didn't really have feelings for F, but I knew something was there. I slightly admired her, but that was the last thing on my mind at the time. Chris and I usually sat together in science class, but just before the quarantines and COVID, I was away from school for a week. I know that during that period, F had a light crush on Chris and she and him became friends. As soon as I would have gone back, quarantines were slammed atop out heads.
As me, Chris, and my other friends enjoyed the extra screen time together, things were about to take a turn. See, after eighth grade, tutor groups don't exist anymore. This means you're assigned a class by sets in a subject. Ex. Set 1 Math is the most capable at math and Set 4 Math is the least capable at math. This meant that the only time Chris and I were in the same class was for two lessons, one of those being Science with F. One science lesson, the teacher accidentally left the google meet running as he left, which gave us an open space to sit around. The entire class was in the meet, but they all slowly started leaving. All that remained was me, Chris, F (who had a crush on Chris), and two other girls. Me and Chris were originally the only ones talking, but everyone started to join in. At that moment, I knew there was something about F that meant something to me. But I didn't understand what.Over time, the five of us became really good friends and we all played Minecraft together. That would be my demise, as I quickly became attracted to F again. It was instant, I didn't stand a chance. We didn't talk much alone, but when we did, I found myself freezing up, scared to talk. I only really felt slightly confident talking to her in private chat rather than in a call. Even then, I was horrendous at talking to girls, so I failed miserably most times.This cycle continued, and eventually our group changed slightly. The only original members were me, F and Chris. Along came F's friend (call her Flora) and Chris' friend (call him Henry). I had become comfortable around these four and it seemed like things were going my way. I was talking to Henry on our group chat late at night about my loneliness and how it felt really nice to have people that actually cared about me as a result of the garbage that happened before and F read all of it. In the morning she told me she read it and I felt jumpy, but I was kind of glad that she knew. It was comforting in a way. Eventually, this led to us going on a zoom call at around 3 in the morning and talking to each other. She confided in me and vented to me about something personal to her that was hurting her and, as much as I tried to console her, I could tell she just wanted to vent. When we left the call, she texted me that she loved me and told me goodnight. I don't think I had been happier until that point. I left her a short, and sweet message about how much she meant to me and I told her I loved her too.
Since then, we'd become really close. I assume I still had a piece of my naive self in my soul, but basically she sort of nudged me to take her to prom, but I didn't read it correctly. Obviously, all of this made Chris pretty pissed and jealous, and it was easy to tell. This is where things sort of just start going down.
Chris began to steer the four of them away from me slowly. He invited them to other group chats and video calls. He'd send the link openly on the group chats, but he knew I would never join since these people had that same shitty perception of me from before and they would probably treat me like fucking shit. I ghosted after that, and I kept to myself. I became miserable. Everything was gone as soon as I had it. But F was still there. I remember she called my name as soon as I joined a voice channel with her and she tried to make me feel seen but I didn't see that myself. I chose to leave. I regret it, but it was the healthier choice. I went back to my old friends, the ones that I had neglected for so long, and I was happy again. My crush, though, didn't waiver. She stayed in my head. We lost touch, but even then, her voice and her smile played back and forth in my brain. Needless to say, sophomore year was the worst year of my life.
The day before the first day of sophomore year, me and F reconnected. We shared music choices, she introduced me to new music that I adore to this day and we talked about things we liked. On the first day of school, she waved at me when she saw me. I looked at her, but, I didn't wave back. I acted as if the crowd was too rowdy to leave school and I just kept walking. I regret that, to this day. She quickly became a distant memory to me as our lives turned away. She started to spite me. Chris eventually stopped feeling resentment, and started feeling too cool to invite me to any plans he had going on. He treated me like a dog who he loved in private but didn't bring outside. This time, life made me hate everything. I hated school, my grades were terrible, I was in a state of wreckage and I was highly destructive to myself. Near the end of the year, though, things were looking better. I was happy. I was talking to Henry, Flora, and even F at times. Chris was still a part of our group, but I knew the first chance I got, I was veering far away from that fake fucker.
I visited my home over the summer. I remembered who I was, who I used to be. When I came back, I felt reimagined and reconnected with myself. I took care of myself, but I was still lonely. I felt alone, and I don't know if I was lovesick, but I thought a girlfriend would just solve every problem I had. That's when I met another girl, 'Kera'.
Kera was a senior, and I was a junior. We texted for a while, and eventually, I asked her out on a date. She said yes. Before I met Kera, I still had feelings for F, but now those feelings were starting to give way. I still talked to Henry, Flora and F on our group chat, but I started refocusing my attention on Kera when she came into my life. Needless to say, my first girlfriend was a piece of shit. But I was hopelessly infatuated with her. She had attachment issues, but I loved the attention so I became dependent on her for my own self-love. Eventually, she began to turn abusive towards me. I won't say what happened since I've already come to terms with it but it left me burnt out. I still wouldn't let her go. Three months after we began dating, me, Kera, F and some of our other friends were walking when someone slipped up. Kera cheated on me. At that point, I froze up, but I tried acting cool. I couldn't look at her the same even when she held me. I left her completely and I fucking lost it. I was a wreck for months.
F saw I was fucked up, and she messaged me. She said she'd always be there for me, and that if I needed to talk, she'd be there. I told her I'd talk to her later, but I was caught right back into my own mess when Kera messaged me. It took time, but I was finally over her. I was set free from her. One day, me, Chris and F were discussing things when the question came up. 'What happened with Kera?'. I told them everything, and F understood. She was comforting and gentle and helped me explain to Chris why the things she did weren't justified because he hadn't been in a relationship before. I was too broken to have a crush on anyone then, but I appreciated her kindness. Me, F and Henry became very close friends over the summer, as we revised for our finals together, played games and laughed off into the night.
Fast forward to senior year. So far, senior year has been the greatest year of my life, and writing this, I think I finally understand how severe my issues were as a young teen. During junior year, some new kids joined and I became very very close friends with them. To this day, they have been the best friends I have ever made, simply because they treat me like a human being. They invite me to things, they tease me, they laugh with me, everything I have ever wanted. It had made me realize that my loneliness wasn't about girls, it was about friends in general. Anyways, about F.
F and I had a severe case of drift after the start of senior year. For three months, Henry, F and I stuck together closely, but life came in the way. Henry and I became extremely close, but we were drifting. My crush on F at this point was dead, and we still talked to one another at times. After a few months, I was talking to some friends when F and one of her class friends was behind us sitting on a table. I heard her friend say "What about him?" and I saw him quickly point at me in the corner of my eye. She replied, "He's attractive now, but... I feel like he would be really boring." After a minute or two of extra eavesdropping (I know it's wrong, I'm sorry) I knew for sure they were talking about dating. At that point, I didn't really know what to think, but after taking some time out of my day to think about it, I understood I should let her go. But I understood where she was coming from. I was closed off, and very scared to talk to her. I could barely talk to girls when I first met her, and I knew our 1 on 1 talks were boring as fuck, because I was the one who sat quiet and did nothing during them. Maybe I'm justifying her actions, but I feel like she's kind of right about that one. I didn't really give her a reason to think I'm fun to be honest.
I stopped thinking about her, I stopped trying to think about ways we could talk to one another, I tried everything. For a while, it worked. I realized me and Henry were drifting, however, and I shot him a message. I asked him how things were and we talked into the night as he vented to me about his personal problems and I consoled him and told him what I thought he needed to hear from me at that point in time. He was genuinely thankful and he told me to come sit with him at lunch time tomorrow to talk.
I talked to him and eventually, we talked about F. I noticed she'd been kind of down lately and that's when he told me what happened. Chris' friend (call him Adam) had a birthday party. Adam was one of the guys that sort of resented me, and though we were on good terms, I didn't really like him too much. Adam was very close with Henry too. F and Adam made out at the party since Adam broke up with his ex a while ago and felt lost. When I heard that, I, too, became lost. Ever since then, F and I have just drifted further and further apart. Every time I feel like my feelings for her are gone, they come back way stronger than before. I dream about her, usually we are in the hallway and she walks in front of me and I stand defeated in her presence.
​
TL;DR - I'm a stupid kid who's liked a girl for ~4 years and I don't know what to do.So, I have been thinking, I want to tell her how I have felt.
​
Her boyfriend and her plan to break up after our graduation, so I was thinking of sending her some voice notes then about my feelings and how I could never talk to her straight when I saw her, but I don't know if I should. I need to let these feelings out so that I never regret not being able to be open with her. If you agree with me, what should I even say?
​
What would you want to hear, if you were her? Please let me know. If you have any other ideas for me, let me know them too. I just want to get this massive weight off of my chest. Thank you for reading this massive post. Much appreciated.

First time posting so hopefully I can stay coherent. Sorry it's pretty long. My husband (37m) and I (35f) have been married for nearly 15 years, together for almost 17. We've always had an extremely stable relationship, but struggled financially. We couldn't really afford to live where we were, but made it work. He ended up getting a great job, but he worked 16 hour days and after we had kids it really bothered him that he was away so much. We decided to sell our house and move somewhere cheaper, but kept getting priced out of the market. He suggested we move across the country and after looking at houses we decided to go for it. We bought a run down repossessed house that we could buy outright and fix up ourselves. The plan was to both get regular 40hr a week jobs since our costs were lower and we could spend more time together as a family. The first year I got a full time job, but my hours crept up to over 56 a week. Then he started his own business where he could work opposite me since we couldn't find childcare. Then COVID hit and I got laid off. He was able to keep working so we did ok, but he started working less and less and started roping me into working for him more and more. It's not work I've ever been comfortable or good at doing. Now he's pretty much home all the time but doesn't help out at all, the house is still unfinished, but it's not a high enough priority. I'm doing all the cooking, cleaning and childcare as well as whatever renos I can do myself. I found a great part time job in the mornings, but had to leave since I couldn't rely on him to be home, and regularly had to get my oldest to babysit the youngest (when they weren't in school) I also had to recently turn down an incredible job because I couldn't find childcare (no daycares in town at all) and I couldn't rely on him to take care of the house. This has been a growing issue since we've moved, but it's still been tolerable. Fast forward to the last few months. Since we moved I've lost most of the friends I left behind and have not made any since, it's been affecting my mental health, but when I bring it up he just thinks I should join a book club or something. He's always been a bit uncomfortable talking about mental health especially any suggestions of therapy, but seemed understanding in the past. Our oldest has also come out as non-binary. Now he's always been accepting of trans persons and the whole LGBTQIA2S+ community, a large portion of my friends fit into it myself included and it's never been an issue. Now he's going off on these terrible transphobic rants. (Luckily not in front of our kids) and I've been working to figure out what his issue is and educate him on it. Our relationship has obviously been strained for the last few years, but I feel like a switch has flipped and I'm out of my depth. I feel like all I can think about are the problems we've had over the years. I think he's just scared, but I don't know if it's something we can get over. I want to just leave, but I'll basically be out with no job, no money, no friends, and 3 kids I'm just wondering if I should try to get him into therapy with me or just leave?
Tldr: my husband has changed his work ethics and his views on LGBTQ+ issues and it's affecting our family. Should I ask for a divorce?

Sorry if This gets long. Just read it if you have time its okay if not.
I have constant physical pain because i have a certain diagnose that i dont know the name of in english. It gives me head/stumach ache all the time Which gets worse if my mental State gets worse. Which it does quite often since i have both anxiety, autism and OCD. So i basically have constant pain in my body all the time everyday. This combined with my OCD and High iq brain makes it almost impossible to get sleep because its constantly hurting or my brain is going bananas. The fact that i have High iq also makes peaples expectations so High. They expect me to get top grades in everything. My pain also gets Way worse if i am social so my Way of spending time is by Reading, playing video games or walking. I go to a special School cus i dont have the energy to go to a normal School. I cant go to School more than 3 days a week Which might Sound fun but it really isnt. I would do so much to be able to go to School 5 days a week. I also never know if im actually sick or just in my normal pain. I have problably went to School with terrible stumach pain and just thought it was the normal. I dont really have any friends at my special School and i dont have any Way of meeting peaple in public because i cant really be social that much cus if i am it makes the pain so much worse. There are also almost no girls at my School so i havent had a relationship with anyone for multible years. I dont wanna tell peaple how bad i feel cus i know that if im sad that makes Them sad and i dont want Them to be sad. I also dont want peaple to feel like their problems dont matter just because i have it worse. I am getting very tired of just walking Reading and playing games all the time cus all of those things get boring after a while. I dont wanna die or anything so i decided to make it my goal in Life to just be there for the peaple around me. Cus idk how i am supposed to get a proper job or an actual Life in my currently State. I just feel like my Life is one Big forced smile. And i dont know What to do about it. I also feel like everyone around me is getting worse. Half my family is depressed and my friends have their own problems too and i feel like i cant help Them. My Way of Living Life is now just trying to ignore the pain and look okay from an outside perspektive and then do anything i Can to help others.

My first exam is tomorrow, and for the past few weeks I’ve had no energy to do anything for myself in terms of self care (eating, hygiene, etc.) and I feel extremely depressed. I don’t have the energy to study and my parents hold very high standards for my schooling. I don’t know how I expect advice to help but it’s something other than crying.

This is true even if I know that the person’s parents weren’t very good parents. Like I can still understand that having both parents in your life doesn’t guarantee a better life by any means but it was something I always wished for as a child.
My parents were both drug addicts and weren’t married when they had me. My dad was able to get sober to take care of me but my mom couldn’t stay clean. Eventually my dad went to court and took full custody of me when I was maybe 3 years old. My mom had visiting rights for a while but at some point that just fully stopped, I didn’t even get phone calls with her anymore. I think the last time I had spoken to her as a child was at 6 years old. It had a huge impact on me, I didn’t understand why I didn’t have contact with my mom anymore. My dad told me she abandoned me and I took it to heart, to this day I have really horrible abandonment issues that impacts my relationships with people (my fear of abandonment can both cause me to push others away or become extremely clingy). Being in elementary school without a mom was hard bc there wasn’t anyone else who also didn’t have a mom, there were kids with single moms but I was the only one with a single dad. Although no one really said anything about it I felt like the odd one out, though there’s several other reasons why I felt that way.
When I was 15 years old near the end of my freshman year of high school after weeks of my dad becoming increasingly abusive and aggressive, he attacked my grandma (who we lived with) with an axe on Mother’s Day. Luckily she survived but obviously my dad was arrested and my aunt (his sister) ended up getting custody of me. She was absolutely horrible to me and blamed me for my dad’s actions. She refused to send me to therapy until I got myself hospitalized. If anyone at school referred to her as my mom I would snap at them that I didn’t have a mom and that she’s my aunt, it made me really angry.
Now as a 21 year old I have contact with my mom and her side of the family again. The first time I met her as an adult I was still 20 and the moment was surreal. Before then I had believed I would never see her again. I’m really happy to be in contact with her again, she was able to say her side of what happened and while it doesn’t fix things it’s helped a lot. She was honest about her drug addictions and said that my dad and his side of the family stopped letting her talk to me because she wasn’t able to pay child support at one point and that really affected her and she ended up going deeper into addiction. She apologized and said it wasn’t right for her to give up like that but funnily enough by reconnecting at the time I did I understood drug abuse on a personal level. I will never have a standard mother-child relationship with my mom but now I’m more comfortable with her than I ever was with my dad. Ever since I’ve reconnected with her she’s been completely supportive and nonjudgmental of me and I felt no pressure from her to be a certain way whereas with my dad and his side of the family I constantly feel like I’m being looked under a microscope.
Although I still experience jealousy of people who grew up with both their parents it’s gotten better since I got contact with my mom. I’m honestly a little glad that my parents weren’t married, if they were it probably would’ve been worse. I just wish those who grew up with both parents wouldn’t take that for granted, even thought my mom probably wouldn’t have been a good parent when I was a child I still wanted to know her but that choice was taken away from me. Only now have I been able to make the choice myself

I used to play a game like https://apps.apple.com/bg/app/high-school-simulator-2018/id1244484684 But it had good graphics. I was a girl and there was a cat following me I could control the cat it also had a camera on it I can see. It was a big school and had other places like basement, locked doors… Can anyone help on this This game is from like 5 years

Hey all, I am going to be moving to college this summer with hopes to pursue dentistry. I have a girlfriend that I have been dating since freshman year of high school and have been dating for 6 years. The problem is that she wants to move in with me and I am just simply not ready. School takes a lot of time out of me and whenever I have a day off or I am free, 99% of the time my day goes out to her. I am a pretty busy person and my days off are pretty valuable to me such as going to the gym, work, and volunteering for my resume. I am just so lost on my decision because she has said that she does not want to do long distance (we would be an hour and 15 minute flight from each other if we were to do long distance).I feel like if we were to move in, we are basically married at that point and I am totally not ready at all. I have a busy future ahead of me and don’t look to settle down serious any time soon even though we have committed 6 years to each other. Even though this is selfish of me, it has been so hard to stay faithful for 6 years ever since freshman year of high school. I have never cheated and she hasn’t either. We are committed to each other but the times I have turned down friends, parties, women just get a little exhausting. I don’t care about fucking girls as my priority but hanging with my boys going to bars or whatever is what an average 21 year old wants to do but I can’t do it because she would not agree with it which I understand. Im not a cheater and I don’t believe in that but I feel like the only way for us is to break it off of 6 years so I can focus on my self. It’s just been super hard for me because she is just my queen literally but I am just so young and have so much more that I need to accomplish in my life without being super committed. I know I am lucky to have her but without any bias opinions, I would love to hear from any one of you guys respectfully.
What is the best way of clearing this up to her? We had multiple conversations about the possibility of moving in with eachother and saying that I am not ready and she is going to cut it off with me.
To the older people of reddit, what would you do in my current situation? Would you be willing to move in with your significant other if you were in my exact shoes?
Most importantly, Am I selfish for feeling this way?
Thank you

If there was one thing Soliloquy hated? She really hated being proven wrong. She knew she couldn't be right about everything but she HATED being 100% sure she was wrong. It made her look stupid and stupid was something Soliloquy most certainly was not.
She wasn't like the other kids. Mama said that was okay. We weren't meant to be like everyone else. What makes us different also makes us special. Soliloquy believed it because there's no way Mama would lie to her.
Mama was so smart. She'd picked up on all of the little things Soliloquy did as a baby and, then, a toddler. Mama knew Soliloquy was such a "special" girl. Only she truly believed in Soliloquy. She'd never known her Daddy. Mama didn't care for talking about him too much. From what little Mama did say about him? It's probably better off that way.
She'd been so little when the first incident happened. Mama knew for certain then. There'd been no doubt left in Mama's mind. Mama had been busy and didn't get Soliloquy's bottle warmed up for her in a timely fashion. She was just a baby and had no way of controlling her anger. It wasn't poor Mama's fault, either. She had her hands full being a single mother. It just exploded. Mama said that it scared her so! She was grateful she hadn't been close to the microwave because the glass went everywhere. Mama knew from that day that she could never be late with Soliloquy's bottle ever again.
Now? This turdy boy thinks a tomato is a fruit?! Why would he think that?! EVERYONE knows tomatoes are vegetables!
"Dummy! I'm trying to tell you! If you weren't so freaking poor? Maybe you could afford a cell phone and Google it, Stupid!" Grover Dill was not a nice, cute, clean nor smart boy. All he was to Soliloquy was trouble and headaches. He'd bullied her every since kindergarten and he hadn't let up one day from then until now. He hasn't even slowed down in the 6th grade. Mama always tried to talk Soliloquy down when he tormented her so. She really hoped she made it home this time so Mama could do it, again. Soliloquy knew if she had another "spell"? Mama would be so disappointed. Please, please, please, let her make it back home, again.
"At least I'm not named after a Sesame Street muppet!" Soliloquy could feel tears sting her eyes.
"And your name means you talk to yourself!" Grover just had to say something. He couldn't just let it go.
She was walking away. She was trying so hard. It was happening, though. She wasn't getting flushed. She was getting HOT!
"GROVER CLAUDE DILL! DON'T SAY NOTHIN' ELSE TO ME!" Soliloquy was burning up.
"NOTHIN', WHITE TRASH!" Grover was cackling and Soliloquy was coming unglued.
She kept trying to distract herself. It wasn't helping. Where would it go this time? What would it mean? She should "put it" somewhere. But put it where?
"Back off! Calm down!" Soliloquy shut her eyes and kept repeating the 2 phrases, over and over, more to herself than anyone. Something was cracking, splitting, something was breaking!
Soliloquy opened her eyes to see Grover Dill standing underneath a tree with a very heavy branch that was cracking and breaking. Of course? Being the hillbilly, redneck, The Hills Have Eyes inbred that he is? He was too busy cackling like an old mountain witch to notice.
"I should tell him. I should. Mama would be disappointed, but I just can't take anymore of him!" Soliloquy debated with her conscience. She knew it was wrong. You ain't suppose to be doin' wrong. Sweet little baby Jesus, she just couldn't take him, anymore. So? Soliloquy settled on, "What Mama don't know won't hurt her."
She looked up at the branch. It honestly could've went either way, at that point. She knew which way it would go this time.
The tree branch groaned in protest as it continued to break away from it's perch. Then? CRAAAAAAACK! In the words of John Mellencamp (one of Mama's favorites since she's from Indiana, too)? It came "Crumblin' Down."
It all seemed to happen in slow motion. The branch completely broke free and plummeted towards Grover's useless head. Soliloquy thought, "It's going to be more useless in about 3 more seconds." And? Soliloquy stifled a giggle.
Boom! Soliloquy couldn't believe what she'd seen. The branch fell on Grover just as he threw his head back to laugh harder. BAM! Smack in his face! Grover let out a guttural scream as the branch slammed his face and the rest of his body folded like an accordion as he fell to the sidewalk. He was breathing really funny and it sounded wet. Oh, no. She thought it would just knock him out! This was more than she could deal with. Mama would know how to handle this. She was so sure of it!
"Better look around and see if anyone was watching." Soliloquy began scanning the school, playground and sidewalk she was on. School had been over for awhile. No one was around. Don't ask? Don't tell. She ran all the way home.
Contrary to the skid mark named Grover Dill's opinion? She most certainly was not white trash. It was true that all that Mama could afford was a trailer. The trailer was clean and Soliloquy had her own room and she was happy. She didn't have a problem so why did that poster child for abortion have to say such mean and hurtful things? Did that make him deserving of a death sentence? As Soliloquy peaked the little hill right before her house? She saw Mama out in the front yard. Thank the Lord! She'll know what to do.
"Soliloquy, Baby? That you?" Mama looked up as she rounded the corner. Soliloquy ran to her until she almost passed out.
"Mama! I didn't mean to, Mama!" Soliloquy began to plead her case just as soon as she saw her.
"Baby! What's happened?" Mama's furrowed brow let Soliloquy know she was very concerned.
"Mama! I swear, Mama!" Soliloquy finally reached Mama and hugged her like she'd never let go.
"Come inside, Baby, and tell me what happened." Mama took Soliloquy inside and they both sat on the couch. Soliloquy was so happy to be home if not happy about her circumstance.
"Mama! It was Grover, again!" Soliloquy was tearing up
"What did he do this time, Soliloquy?" Mama asked as if she were irritated that his name even got brought up.
"I didn't know, Mama. I really thought tomatoes were vegetables. Grover told me they are actually fruit." Soliloquy timidly approached the subject.
"And that was the fight?" Mama knew there had to be more to this.
"No, there was more. That's just what started it." Soliloquy replied and Mama nodded her head in acknowledgement.
"He just wouldn't stop, Mama. He just..." Soliloquy burst into tears.
"Soliloquy? Did you have another spell?" Mama always got right to the point.
Welp. There it was. The time to cough it up. "I tried not to, Mama. Please, believe me!"
"Soliloquy? Tell me what happened and tell me what happened right now. I'm not angry, but I do need to know." Mama was getting more upset.
"Deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth." Soliloquy said to herself.
"Okay. We kept arguing and he was saying really nasty things and I was getting so mad, Mama!" She couldn't hold back.
"He was really hurtful and hateful and I... I....." Soliloquy tapered off.
"You had a spell?" Mama already knew.
"Yes, Mama. I did." Soliloquy replied and stayed silent.
"How bad was it, Baby?" Mama resigned herself to the fate of knowing it has most certainly happened, again.
"Bad, bad, Mama." Soliloquy placed her head in her hands and openly sobbed.
"Baby? Is he dead?" Mama needed to know.
"I don't know, Mama. I just don't know." Soliloquy was racked with sobs.
"Baby, this isn't your fault. I was hoping it wouldn't get this bad. I was hoping it'd would never go this far. This is something you just can't control. There's no way you can when you get older. It happened to me, too." Mama said without realizing she'd just turned Soliloquy's world upside down.
What did she mean it happened to her, too? Wait, what?
"Mama? What do you mean it happened to you?" Soliloquy was certain she'd feel better once she talked to Mama but she most definitely was not feeling better.
"Soliloquy, you've had these spells every since you were born. Well? Before you were born? I had them."
Mama had the spells when she was younger, too?
"I was born like you. I had spells from time to time and it was usually out of my control until I got older. I learned how to self soothe so nothing really bad happened. I thought it was all okay. I really did. Well, when I met your Daddy? I thought I'd never have another spell, again. I really did. I loved him so much. In the beginning? He was good to me, too. Then? Bethany. She just had to come along and screw it up. She was so much prettier and thinner than me and your Daddy just fell head over heels. I was crushed. I was devastated. How can I compete with skinny ass Methany? What could I do to make sure your Daddy stayed with me? Well, I thought of what women have thought of since time immemorial. I got pregnant. Your Daddy was happy at first. He really wanted you. As time went on? I got bigger and more unattractive as I got further along. Pregnancy isn't normally when a woman looks her best. Well, that just made your horn dog Daddy run to Bethany even more. I was losing him and couldn't do a thing about it. One day? A few weeks before I was due to have you? Your Daddy came to me and informed me that he's moving in with Bethany. He said he wanted nothing further to do with me and would see me in court over visitation and support. He very much wanted to be in your life, but not mine. Well, who in the hell does he think he is? I'll be damned if he's coming to see you but doesn't want me! So? As he stood at the bottom step of our front porch? Flames started licking his workboots and he screamed. I just laughed with delight the whole time he was burning up! When I had you? The "spells" moved onto you and left me." Mama just smiled at Soliloquy like she just told her what the weather was like outside.
Soliloquy's head was spinning. Mama killed Daddy because he only wanted me and not her? No. NO! THAT'S NOT IT!
"Mama, you just got mad and it got away from you, right?" Soliloquy hoped she said yes.
"Oh, no, Baby. The second he told me he wanted you but not me? I crisped him like bacon!" Mama laughed. She actually laughed.
Soliloquy didn't know how to get out of this. Mama actually KILLED her Daddy. She never got to meet him. She never got to love him. She'd never known anything more than the crappy little podunk town she'd been born and raised in. She could've known more. She could've known nicer. She could've known better.
"What's the matter, Baby? You look unhappy." Was Mama actually serious? What's the matter? WHAT'S THE MATTER? SHE HAS GOT TO BE KIDDING!
It started happening. The flames licked onto the outside of the trailer and climbed up its walls and doors.
"Soliloquy! What are you doing? Why are you burning up the trailer? Stop it this instant!" Now Mama was the one angry.
"No, Mama, I can't do that. You wanted me all to yourself. Well? Here I am. Both of us can head down to hell together." Soliloquy looked at her with a sinister smile. It was then she just had to laugh. Sesame Street was on the T.V. behind Mama sobbing. Guess Grover got the last laugh after all.

I used to play a game like https://apps.apple.com/bg/app/high-school-simulator-2018/id1244484684 But it had good graphics. I was a girl and there was a cat following me I could control the cat it also had a camera on it I can see. It was a big school and had other places like basement, locked doors… Can anyone help on this This game is from like 5 years ago

It wasn't until my early 30s that I realized how many messed up relationship patterns I'd created for myself. I have ADHD, anxiety, and depression and a slew of big T and small t traumas. All of this turned me into a lifelong co-dependent people pleaser - from my sorority in college to a failed marriage to an abusive narcissist and jobs where I saw the red flags but ignored them.
In my 30s, btw a combination of the right therapy, a great partner, lots (and loooots) of work on myself, and a healthy relationship with weed, I realized a lot of the friendships I was carrying were incredibly toxic and as I grew more comfortable with myself, the friendships shrank.
Now, I'm turning 40 soon and I feel better than ever about who I am and what type of friend I can be to someone and yet...it seems the opportunity may be gone.
We moved from a big city to a new state during COVID and I've made some mom friends who are a delight for sharing the struggles of child-rearing, but it never goes deeper bc they already have life-long friends from high school and college. We have some fantastic double-date couple friends as well, but same thing - stays very surface level.
I'm at a point now where I'm not sure how to even go about making meaningful connections anymore. Finding new friends via a hobby is tough in my small town, but that's the one avenue I keep pushing myself down. I've always had a lot of social relationships online, but as I tried to step away from social media validation and more into embracing the "real world", I've lost that touch point as well (no longer us FB, only scroll Instagram, deleted my Twitter when Elon took over). I'm scared to put myself out there for fear of repeating my same mistakes and patterns.
I guess I'm just sharing this because I'm lonely and I'm doing it all the "right" way. I'm going to therapy, I'm setting the boundaries, I'm an active and present partner and mother, etc. and it's only made me feel more alone. I don't want my old friendships back, but sometimes I do believe ignorance is bliss - even if I was a constant doormat, I wasn't the weirdo without any close friends 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I don’t want to get into it in detail because I don’t and because Reddit can be brutal but I’m f24 and at 16 while in a constant, moderate level amphetamine induced psychosis caused by my vyvanse dose being too high I was manipulated, groomed, repeatedly sexually and physically assaulted for 9 months. I was in such a daze I didn’t know what was happening and I was incredibly isolated because of paranoid delusions that people at school were plotting against me. He presented himself as the only one I could trust and went from there. He was 32.
I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience as a teenager (doesn’t have to include psychosis obviously, that just one aspect that made me so vulnerable) I haven’t been able to go into detail even with a therapist and I have constant flashbacks and panic attacks. I watched the first season of cruel summer without realizing the material (it doesn’t really get into it until later in the show) and I ended up in my car screaming. I really really want to talk to someone who experienced something similar, I think it would be incredibly helpful.
If you have and want to reach out please message me.
Thank you

Because the girls in my school are HOT AF , especially when they get their hair done and wear shorts and crop tops
Are male teachers secretly attracted to them but can’t admit it?

Long time listener of the pod (since it’s inception!), however first time posting in this sub.
I’m just at a loss… I (24F) think I’m a bad friend, and I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t think I deserve to have friends, and I don’t think I can handle another friendship knowing it’ll likely lead to a break up.
I’ll give you a little background…
Since high school, I’ve had no problem meeting new people and making friends. I’ve changed schools a lot, and every time I go somewhere new, I always find a “group” that invites me in and quickly becomes my close friends group… however, never has it lasted longer than 2ish years.
In my sophomore year of high school, I started at a new school and quickly found my stride… I made a bunch of friends (male and female), and was in a relationship with one of the boys in the group. Everything was going well for about two years, until I broke up with my boyfriend and all our mutual friends sided with him, because they had all known each other for much longer and we’re more loyal to one another… at the time, I was in a very small high school and couldn’t escape these individuals, and so I packed up and went off to a new school.
At this point I’m in senior year, and I meet another great group of girls at school. We hit it off right away, and I become part of their friend group. We’re friends through the rest of high school, and most of university, until a couple of years ago when my ex and I broke up, and he started dating a mutual friend of my friends. At first there were no problems, but my friend would often (unprompted) update me on what was going on with my ex and his new girlfriend. I was drunk one night and found out, from this friend, that my ex and the girl were no longer together… and drunk me texted him. The friend who told me they broke up was mistaken, and his girlfriend called the friend saying how mad she was that I texted my ex. The friend scolded me for this, and made me feel awful. I ended up distancing myself at this point, and unfortunately all our mutual friends disappeared. Again, they knew my friend first, so our group took her side and dropped me.
Around this time I started getting closer to a work colleague, and we started hanging out a lot and became quite close. Her cousin who was our age also became part of our little group. We became the three amigos, hanging out every weekend, travelling together, etc. That friendship lasted about a year, before all of us went our separate ways.
Finally, last year I met this girl through a group we both joined. We slowly started to get to know each other and overtime became close. We were quite different, but our differences seemed to compliment one another. Until… recently. We embarked on our first trip together, with another friend, and it didn’t go so well. I was frustrated, and she was too. When we came home, she texted me that “we’re too different and this friendship wasn’t made to last”.
Since then, I’m just lonely, sad, exhausted, anxious… I see that I’m not perfect, and that I MUST be doing something wrong considering I’m the one thing all these situations have in common, but I really don’t know what it is I’m doing that pushes people away and scares people off. I think I’m a good person, I’m kind and thoughtful, I will drop everything for a friend in need… I can attract friends, but I can’t hold on to them.

I have experienced a few rejections before I gave up. The first time was in middle school and I became good friends with this girl and I liked her a lot. One day I was like fuck it and after psyching myself up for at least two hours I sent her a text basically telling her how I felt all this time and I told her how pretty I thought she was. She never replied a single word no I don’t feel that way or anything. She avoided me at school and that was that. The second rejection was in high school if you could call it that. I was in gym class and this girl was nearby talking to an attractive guy I kind of knew. He was like would you ever date (insert my name) and she just said “no ew gross no thanks” or something to that effect and laughed. (This also isn’t including the times I exchanged a picture of myself to be blocked). Obviously it deeply hurt my feelings but I don’t blame the girls for not liking me. I know I’m ugly and if I was in their shoes no way in hell I’d date me either.

My AP psych teacher is accusing me of having used AI to write the script for my final project, which was a video about Freudian psychosexual analysis. Apparently, TurnItIn’s AI detector said my script was 70% AI generated. I can’t prove to her I wrote it myself, as I didn’t write it in google docs. There’s no edit history or anything. She did not believe me when I said I produced it. She said I wouldn’t receive credit for the assignment, but I would still pass the class. However, I am more worried about the fact that this may show up as an academic violation on my transcript. I have yet to talk to my VP about this, but I fear he will also not believe me since he is known for being anal about this sort of stuff. I have no prior infractions, and before this semester I maintained A’s in all of my classes throughout high school. Do you guys think this could be grounds for UCLA to rescind me? Help I’m actually so upset😭😭

So I (20M) have been under my guardian's care since 2019 when both my parents died. We had a decent relationship, but when I was taken under their care when I was a freshman in high school, I was a gaming addict, and my grades were average. (Way below average to high performers like them)
I wish I could get into the mess that happened, but essentially, my high school years were stressful. Covid happened, they kept moving, so every year I went to a different school.
Moreover, they thought it was best if they took my electronics away, and isolated me from friends and family because of my game addiction, and essentially made school my only focus. Plus, they had really high standards on every aspect of life, Physical, mental, spiritual and used food/sleep as punishments if I didn't meet them. (almost never, everything was my fault, even if its out of my control)
They got me diagnosed with conduct disorder (long story), treated me as a criminal, (cameras in house, chair under their door at night). Sent me to a group home to "teach me a lesson" (which I liked more than being with them) so they took me back. Plus, they withheld me from going to college because I didn't show that I was "responsible enough". Even the counselor that They got for me agreed that this was a toxic relationship, and they needed to loosen control in some respects.
Even so, not being responsible was total BS because they later kicked me out, and I've been just fine on my own: found a cheap place to rent, have a decent amount of savings to last a few months without my job, started investing, learned how to draw as a hobby, instead of games, and started writing as a way of self-reflection.
After some time to myself to clear my head, I started getting back with them for the past 6 months, so I could get back on track for college. However, they wanted my previous counselor to approve of me before I could officially meet with them. I did all of that, and met with them recently. However, recent events proved that they still want control. (taking away electronics, and isolating me for a short week with family) Which I made it clear was a no go for me. I hated that time.
So, after a year of self reflection, I unwound all of those experiences and I guess I got a revelation that its not all of my fault. It was my fault for acting out, being a spoiled brat who only wanted to play games, and I truly believe that they had good intentions, cause I was way out of control when I first went under them. However, I don't agree in their continuation of extreme methods, even after I had the gaming addiction washed out of me year one.
I honestly don't know what to think, cause even though it was awful, a lot of good came out of it, and I know what I want in life now. I still believe that they have good intentions at heart, and even if they aren't good nurturers in my opinion cause they're super busy with their jobs but still want control, they're awesome teachers responsible for my academic growth, and some morals/values, and I, admittedly, look up to them in some respect.
However, I'm done being their financial and emotional hostage, and losing control of my personal life/hobbies. (they are the executors of my parent's will, which left me with and education trust fund and more, but I doubt I can get any besides the education fund, cause I stupidly signed a few things)
I'm honestly considering just leaving the money behind if I can't have an equal relationship. I don't doubt that they wouldn't give it back to me, cause they're rich af, but I don't want to be controlled isolated by them as a condition.
I'm gonna go to my counselor with this issue, but am I able to rebuild this relationship if there is no trust or respect for boundaries? (I want to get as many perspectives as possible.)
TLDR: My guardians and I had a toxic relationship growing up and split last year, but I want to get back with them cause they're pretty cool people and have control over my college funds.
Edit: Grammar