Spiral perm long hair

Sorry this is a long one. I’m 26F, in a relationship with a man. I’ve struggled with my sexuality since I was about 14. I’ve felt sexual attraction to men and women since I was young. As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten quite obsessive about my sexuality and I’ve been diagnosed with OCD over the past 2 years. I’ve only ever been with men, I’ve always had good experiences and enjoyed it very much. I know a lot about comphet and I’ve spent lots of time figuring out my desires and if my attraction/desire from men comes from being desired and I fully believe that it doesn’t. When I’m sexuality attracted to a man I feel turned on by them, by the thought of sex with them, touching them, especially their penis. I like giving and receiving oral sex with men and I always cum with men because I’m aroused by that particular man going down on me.
I’ve never been with women, I never felt I really needed to until I ended things with a guy I was seeing a few years ago and decided I’d spent a lot of time focusing on men and I’d like to explore my attraction to women. I started feeling a bit odd after sex with the guy I was seeing and decided he wasn’t for me. I found in this time my attraction to men decreased, although I was also purposely not focusing on them. My attraction for women increased and was definitely more intense then anything I’d felt before. I noticed their bodies more than I had before and felt a pull to them that I didnt previously. I wasn’t going to label myself in this time cause I was just letting myself be. There were feelings I felt in this time for women that I would say I hadn’t felt for men, but it wasn’t like a woah okay I’m gay, just more a okay this feels more intense.
In this time I started to develop feelings for a close male friend, this caused a lot of confusion cause I wasn’t finding myself attraction to other men, but I found myself thinking about sex with him regularly. I felt a pull to be close to him and when we finally got together and kissed it was like “woah” the world stopped, fireworks, the whole deal. Being around him made me feel calm, it was like a chemical reaction. We’re now dating and we have a beautiful relationship, I really see a future with him.
The few things that have caused some doubt in my mind about if I’m actually a lesbian and just kidding myself about being bi. I’m generally more turned on by women, I’m more attracted to their bodies, I feel more of a desire just from looking at them. With men I feel desire and very aroused, but less of a desire from just looking at their bodies (not saying none at all, my boyfriends body turns me on regularly, it’s just less of an immediate pull) i would say my body reacts more to women? I have some fear around the future and the unknown of my sexual identity because I haven’t explored with women, this makes the idea of marriage a bit daunting. (Not dread or doom, just a bit scary) But also the idea of being with my boyfriend forever feels beautiful when I’m not spiralling.
Having OCD I’ve spent hours researching and reading the late bloomers sub scared that they too had attraction for men once and once they accepted their attraction for women or started dating women they realised they were just gay. Can anyone help shed some light on this for me? I feel so much guilt about getting into spirals when I’ve got the most beautiful partner who I love.

Someone suggested in relationships I post here, bedroom not fully dead so hoping it's okay to ask for help here.
My (f28) and partner (m30) have been together two years and live together. For context we both work full time jobs (he's in trade, so physical work) and I'm an area manager. Both busy people.
For the last, I'd say, 6 months things in the bedroom are decidedly less sexy. We do have sex a few times a week but I ALWAYS initiate. I doubt we'd have sex if I didn't. Yes I have tried letting it happen and it doesn't and I end up frustrated. When we do do it, it's like he's doing it for me, there's no passion, he even shuts his eyes during foreplay (he says he gets cross eyed when were close, why?) and doesn't kiss or touch my body - he'll use a vibrator on me for a few minutes and expects me to be good to go. It's all lights off and he's done. I don't mind how long he lasts but the lack of passion and interest is killing me!
Things haven't always been like this, we used to have frequent, mutually enjoyable sex and it was great. I look exactly the same, if not better than when we first started dating. I take care of myself, I'm clean, I go to the gym 4 times a week and always have hair and make up done (for myself I hasten to add, not him, makes me feel good). I have lots of lingerie, toys to use together and I'm pretty adventurous.
When we get into bed he insists on clamping himself into his blanket and literally stops me from kissing or touching him, turns me down without me even asking and gets defensive if I ask if there's a reason he's not enjoying our sex life as much, or whether we can do anything to spice it up for him. He told me at the start he'd be up for it daily - this is not what I see.
I suspected he might just he sorting himself out and have less drive because of that, but he says he's not masturbating, and asks when he'd have time to do this - he gets home earlier than me and I'm first out the door in the AM so I think this point is kind of mute. I'm starting to think somethings wrong.
Help!
Tldr partner seems less into sex with me and I want to address things, he's been defensive in the past and says nothings wrong. Sos!

I've been friends with Mandy and Christy for a year. They're both fun and nice, but I noticed Mandy isn't as nice as Christy. It's always Christy or me initiating contact or hangouts. Christy and I both gave more expensive Christmas gifts than Mandy did. We're always on time while Mandy is often late and even came 30 minutes late to my graduation party. Christy always pays for our Lyft. Christy often replies to my Snapchat stories, but Mandy hardly does. Christy praises how I'm pretty, my hair / makeup / nails / outfit are on point, I'm nice, and understanding. Mandy hasn't told me any of this. Christy replies to texts quickly while Mandy sometimes takes over a day to reply or is dry.
Mandy is still nice. She has listened to me complain, treats me to coffee sometimes even though it's at cheaper places, took a Lyft to avoid me waiting too long, doesn't ignore any of my messages, calls me funny, helped with advice for a prom dress, bought souvenirs for us, always acts as a therapist for Christy, and is easygoing & flexible to plan with since she's always down.
However, I still feel like Christy and I are putting in more effort. I don't get the lack of initiation, the tardiness, passivity, and lack of words of appreciation or compliments. I also don't get the long response times and dryness since she's usually not busy. For example, she'd cancel or come late yet be posting Snapchat stories of dramas she's watching.
I'm annoyed by this difference. Why can't she put in the effort that I do, or especially that Christy does? I want to confront her about these things and ask her to put in more effort if she cares about us as friends.

Hello everyone! I’m hoping someone can help me out. I’m 31 years old, and since was around 25/26, I’ve been dyeing my hair due to gray hair. The graying started when was 20, but it was only a few strands. Now, in certain areas (like near one of my temples), my hair is almost completely gray. I would estimate that in that particular spot, about 75% to 80% of my hair is gray. My natural color is a cool dark ash blonde. However, regardless of the formulas I use, I always end up with an orange or reddish tint after dyeing. I’ve always used a mix of shade 5 and shade 6 because it’s the closest match to my natural color. For many years, I used Joico Lumishine, mixing equal parts of 5NA and 6NA. But for the past year, I switched to Redken Chromatics, mixing equal parts of 5N and 6AA. I have no issues with covering the gray hair; my problem lies in this persistent orange/red reflex. Even if it’s subtle, really want to avoid it. I’ve been wondering if I should try mixing 5N with 6AG to achieve a cool ash color. Would this work? Can anyone help me with this? Also thought that maybe l should tone my hair with Redken EQ, but I’m not sure when I can use it before/after dyeing. Additionally, I’d like to achieve long-lasting results. Currently, dye my hair every month and a half to two months and wouldn’t want to have to dye my hair multiple times or more frequently if can avoid it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! I can’t switch brands; I want to stick with Redken because I can’t find other available brands. (I didn’t mention it, but I obviously use 20vol developer). Thank you all!

Can't really explain why, but I feel much more attracted and devoted to someone much younger than me, so I really want to find someone who is okay with having an older long term partner. As far as I'm concerned the younger you are (legally of course) the better, so I'd like to find someone under about 25 to live with me for mutual breeding
I'm open to various styles of relationship. Whilst I'd like to find someone who wants to be a "homemaker" and look after the house (and me!) whilst I work, if you want a part time job, career or to continue education I'm open to discussion.
More info here
You:

• any legal age under about 25
• live in England or able to get there!
• any religion as long as you don't mind me being agnostic
• any ethnicity
• bisexual also welcome provided you regard our relationship as your "prime" one.
• want to have children early (if you're looking for long term)

Me:

• white, 5'11" blue eyes, brown hair
• professional, work remotely but I have to be in England to work.
• needs exercise - planning to get electric bike.
• enjoys musicals and theatre
• not rich but high income. I'd be paying all living costs
• married but have lived separately for 15 years or so
• 3 (possibly 4) adult children (19-24)
• Flaws: more shy than this ad may indicate

I live in a large village but it has a railway station just 5 mins away on a direct line to London.
I believe that in a relationship I should help you achieve your goal in life, whether it's a career or being a stay at home parent, but I'm there to be a partner, not baby you 24/7. Similarly, although I want someone younger, you're not my slave (except in fun roleplay!).
Sex
I'm quite vanilla sexually and my primary kinks are the age difference and potential breeding (with associated kinks such as cream-pies, breastfeeding etc). I'm not an exhibitionist but if you want to have sex in the woods, fields or anywhere else its certainly up for discussion. I'm not really into anal sex but butt plugs and other sex toys are fine with me.
I'm really turned on by the idea of filling your young fertile pussy with my seed and whilst I won't push you about it, I'd really like you to stop birth control and hopefully get pregnant so I can enjoy feeling our baby grow inside you and your breasts fill (which I hope you'll let me milk too). I'm not looking to use condoms, so whether you get pregnant or not will be entirely your decision. If you're horny and your partner is asleep, its okay to start things unless they tell you to let them get some sleep. I like spooning, ideally with my cock at the entrance to your wet full pussy. Whether you do it deliberately or have a birth control failure I will be happy if you get pregnant. I am pro-choice, so all decisions on whether to have a baby are entirely yours.
I believe in spontaneity and "free use", so after agreeing to have sex the first time, you don't have to ask to start things next time, however "Stop" and "Not Right Now" are valid! Also valid is "OMG, This team meeting is so much better with you playing with my cock!" 😈
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^{Due to the prevalence of people who are just looking for fun {fine 👍} or fake 👎, I apologise to those who are seriously interested in that I will have to continue looking until I am in a committed physical relationship with someone!}

I would like to share with you guy tips to braid hair for a wig:

1. Start with clean and dry hair

Better hold: When your hair is clean and dry, it is easier to manage and holds the braid better.
Improved blending: Dirty or oily hair can make it difficult for extensions to blend with your natural hair. The extensions may also slip or slide out of place as you braid, which can lead to an uneven and messy-looking braid.
Reduced damage: Braiding damp hair or hair that has product in it can cause breakage and damage.

1. Keep the braid tight

It’s important to keep the braid tight. A tight braid ensures that the extensions are securely attached to your natural hair, creating a neater and more polished appearance that will last longer.
However, it’s important to avoid pulling too tightly, as this can cause damage to your hair. Starting with clean and dry hair is also essential, as it allows for better hold and improved blending between the extensions and natural hair.

1. Practice makes perfect

There are plenty of tutorials and guides available online that can help you learn how to braid hair for a wig. Look for videos and articles that break down the process step by step, and follow along with the instructions until you feel comfortable with the technique.
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So I know Lindsay very BRIEFLY touched upon this in the rent essay where she mentions the amount of 2005 vehicles seen in the setting of 80s NYC but RENT’s costumes in no way represent what a bunch of bohemians would wear in the late 80s
The costumes in the Rent movie and the stage show (from the recorded stage performance featured in Lindsay’s essay) all just scream Y2K. In the film and show Mark sports a blue v neck sweater with a red stripe going across the chest. This sporty motif of a different color strip on a v neck was all over men’s casual pullovers and sweatshirts in the late 90s and even into the mid 2000s (Reese on Malcolm in the middle can be seen wearing these)
When Maureen does her performance art in the musical, she is wearing a hippy two tone blouse in which one colorful print makes up the torso of the shirt and the sleeves are a separate colorful pattern makes up the sleeves. You would see something like this on Lizzie Maguire. In Scary Movie Anna Farris wears a similar blouse with maps of world countries on it.
In the movie during the art performance Maureen dons black leather pants and a sleeveless distressed dark brown baby t shirt with a graphic or glitter on it like she walked off the set of a Christina Aguilera music video. By 2003 that look was basically over but this is 2005 we are talking about.
I’ve seen similar costumes worn by actors in more recent local productions of Rent (via posters and promotional stills) and I’ve come to realize that most if not all productions or adaptions must be honoring the costumes of the original which went out of their way to look nothing like the 80s.
The sweater mark wears looks like it could have been bought at The Gap, Maureen’s hippy blouse at a mid level chain store at any mall, and her polished punk pop Star look in the film would come from a luxury boutique in Manhattan or Melrose Avenue in 2000. Since Mark and Maureen are supposed to be starving artists, they probably couldn’t afford these stores and would in part rationalize their inability to afford those clothes as “selling out and looking like a clone” they more likely would have dated wardrobes that were purchased from thrift stores. That is if they are truly bohemian, but almost 40 years later thrift stores are a lot more popular.
Often when period pieces are made, even the most faithful to accuracy have a modern sensibility when it comes to period clothing. Often the silhouettes and cuts of clothing are closer to contemporaneous standards, but the patterns or colors may be evocative of the period. Makeup and hair are seldom ever period accurate either. I’ve yet to see anyone replicate the big hair of the 70s, 80s and 90s and that’s because it looks goofy and tacky and unglamorous and turn off to the audience. Most people also don’t grow their hair out that long anymore so it’s also a logistical thing.
Rent however makes zero attempt to even suggest the period it’s set in in the 80s. I feel like it would have been cheaper to get used clothes from the 80s from a costume house or vintage stores during the mid 90s then to get them in contemporary clothing. I feel like they needed to make the story glamorous to appeal to Y2K audiences, which just further shows how unironic and misleading RENT is about the time and place it wants to portray.

22 YO female with DD breasts and curvy body, long black hair, dimples looking for a giiirll any body size is welcome please be a female and be able to host/possibly be mobile (car is in shop rn). I’ll send photos once we can verify you are a female. I’m looking for a nasty homegirl one I can smoke and drink with, to lay down in her room give eachother massages, eat each others pussy, and scissor. I would just like to have somebody consistent (not expecting often but if we enjoy it possible) that is DDF and STD free as well as clean.. I want somebody curious and a little shy but willing to spread open for me haha. I am dying to be ate and I want a female friend to share that with. Just let me know inbox me! Thank you I am located in Berkeley area. If you’re able to come get me so we can play that works! Car play does work as well. Any age and body shape welcome. Just be nasty! Lol 💗

"Come on, please, it has to be somewhere around here!"
Cogwyn was at her wit's end, and apparantly desperate enough to be begging the rotten wooden floor of the abandoned saloon she was in.
"Pst. Magical weapon?" One hand clutching the faded map, Cogwyn opened the faded parchment to check where she was again. Following the long-lost roads on the maps, her finger once again arrived in the town of Foghorn on the map, the town built on the lake-bed of the legendary Lake.
The Lake that held a legendary weapon called Excalibur.
Cogwyn needed that weapon, right about now. It would honestly be very good timing right about now. Cogwyn had lost and given up too much to be here in the ghost town of Foghorn, knee-deep in the barren territories of the long-fallen Human civilization.
Goddamn it, Cogwyn was sure the spot she was in was at the center of the long-dried lakebed. Digging her claws into the plank, Cogwyn pulled as hard she could, trying to at least dislodge it a bit. The Crownhunters will be here soon, and then she'll be screwed. There was nowhere else to run anymore.
Digging her claws deeper into the rotten wood at that thought, Cogwyn pulled harder. Her muscles strained as she grunted in effort before she lost her grip on the wood and was flung backwards from the force used to tug at the wood.
"Ugh!"
Cogwyn punched the wooden board, then immediately regretted it as she registered the pain from her punch. Nursing her fist, Cogwyn turned towards the doorframe of the building, heart dropping in her chest as she saw the blurry figures in the distance, riding towards the saloon.
Immediately standing up from her crawling position, Cogwyn reached towards the pair of daggers stashed in her pant legs and found... nothing. Right, she lost them by throwing them at the Crownhunters where they promptly flew off into the cliff the Crownhunters were standing by.
Whatever, she still had her claws.
Jumping on the table, Cogwyn screeched on the table as the Crownhunters entered the room.
"Goblin! Do not resist your death, the crimes of your kind will be paid in full!" The Crownhunters drew their swords at their leader's statement, the swish of the sword causing a pleasant metallic sound as they were unsheathed.
"Crimes of what, fucking existing?"
"Yes."
Stupid xenophobic Empire bullshit. Cogwyn bared her teeth and prepared to rake her claws all over the Crownhunters face. But before either side could make a move, a loud crack resonated in the room.
A pale, ghostly hand punched out of the floorboard Cogwyn was trying to ply open, their hand holding a bizarre L-shaped contraption.
Cogwyn stared at the pale hand. "What"
What are you waiting for? Take the gun and shoot! The voice echoed in Cogwyn's head, and sorry, a voice is speaking in her voice telling her to take—a gun? What the hell even is a gun?
I am the Lady of the Lake, the Keeper of Excalibur. The Mistress of Justice. Take the revolver and enact your justice, little Goblin.
Wait so, you're telling me Excalibur is that weirdly shaped piece of wood and metal you're holding?
Yes. The voice sounded impatient. The hand in the floor, on the other hand, rose further, revealing an arm now. For centuries I have waited for another worthy of Excalibur. Humanity has fallen, but its spirit remains in it.
Rudely, the Crownhunters attacked at that precise moment, apparently having gotten over the ghostly body slowly rising out of the ground. Flashing her attention back to the Crownhunters, Cogwyn barely managed to tip the table over and scramble out of the way before the sword cut her head clean off her shoulders.
"Asshole! I was having an in-my-head conversation there!" Cogwyn spit at the Crownhunters attacking her as she dodged out of the way of another strike, the sword burying itself into a dusty table.
By now, the Lady of the Lake's form had appeared fully. She was transparent, but her form revealed her to be a bipedal women with long hair, wearing a simple dress. Her eyes facing forwards, like a predator's. Cracking her knuckles, she rolled her arm before sending a devastating punch, knocking out one of the Crownhunters cold.
The Lady's voice crackled to life in her mind. Eat shit.
Wow, was that really what the Humans looked like? Turns out everyone needs to do some serious updating to their drawings of Humans. They had just assumed they were more prey-like, considering how peaceful their civilization was truly rumoured to be.
Cogwyn eyed the laughing Lady of the Lake with a curious side-eye. So the Humans did have a dark side. Grinning, Cogwyn caught the... gun-thing as it was thrown at her by the Lady. Holding the wooden handle, Cogwyn rushed up to one Crownhunter and bashed it on their head.
Expecting some serious magical stuff to occur, Cogwyn was disappointed when they merely fainted from the blunt force trauma. "Hey, I thought this weapon was magical!"
It is. You're just using it wrong. Grip the handle and pull the trigger—that spring near the handle—while aiming it.
Taking the Lady's advice, Cogwyn aimed as one Crownhunter rushed her and pulled the trigger. A bloom of smoke rose from the tip of the weapon as a loud boom filled the room. The gun, like a particularly violent horse, kicked back, almost forcing Cogwyn to drop the magical artefact on the ground.
The person in front of Cogwyn stopped and dropped, a hole in the middle of their chest.
"Holy shit."
Indeed.
Standing in the ruins of the room, the Lady and Cogwyn stood in the center of a whirlwind of bodies and broken furniture. Cogwyn laughed out loud in joy as she stared at the weapon in her hand.
"You know, most artifacts only allow their own species to wield them." Most ancient artifacts were too prissy to allow anyone but them to wield their precious weapons, which meant that the Elder races held all the cards when it came to power, leaving newer races to lick boots in order to get scrap.
It doesn't help that artifacts take time to materialize for any civilization.
Excalibur is not most artifacts. The voice of the Lady was calm, but an edge still held in her voice. Humanity was not most races. Back then, anyone could be a Human.
"Anyone?"
Anyone. Being Human was less being a member of a race at that point, but an idea. The weapon you hold is but a fragment of that idea, crystalized into the form we see now: justice.
"If Excalibur represents justice... What are you, then?"
The Lady paused, a devious smile on her face. Another ancient Human philosophy. One passed on from the earliest days, before even the seedling of Excalibur was even planted.
It was called... Fuck Around And Find Out. The Lady giggled before sighing. Justice doesn't serve itself, y'know.
The Lady of the Lake stretched, bones cracking as she readied up for a long journey ahead of her. Come on now, we have a government to overthrow.
Cogwyn huffed as she followed the Lady out into the desert.

Hi! I have a maltese-mini schnauzer boy, 4.6 kg. He is small and has a lot of hair (naturally long, but currently sporting a shorter summer haircut). He is in the phase where he marks all the time, loves to sniff out and even lick any pee from other dogs obsesively, like burries his whole head in it, rub his side on peed on tree trunks, rummage through tall grass, etc. Its a whole thing. Also, he has trouble aiming (boys🤣), so he soaks his front legs and belly in urine frequently.
I wash him every 3weeks and brush him every other day. He isnt dirty per se, but everytime after a walk he reeks of pee.
I used to use just puppy wipes to clean his paws and hair on penis tip a bit after a walk. But since the marking started, i resorted to actually washing his legs after every walk with water and a bit of either johnsons baby shampoo, or Arava puppy shampoo for sensitive skin (bio). Cause no amount of wiping could get through all of that pee soaked hair.
I have been washing his lover half daily for about 5months now. We had no skin or hair issues so far. I l use wipes for the rest of him after every walk.
I love him and he is a big cuddler, no furniture or room is off limits to him, and he presses against me with his whole body and loves to be near my face. And although im a bit of a germophobe i have been fine with all of his germs so far, i jsut love him so much.
But the thought of some OTHER dogs’ pee all over him and, consequently, all over my couch and me, just grosses me out soso much.
I was thinking, at least for the time being, to start bathing him weekly. Using water and just a splash of gentle puppy shampoo (u can recomment the best one!), hair drying him and then combing out the rest of the filth.
Would it rly be so bad?
Thaks for the help!

In the past year, my will, energy and motivation to keep going on has only been decreasing. At first I just accepted it and would try my best to push through my studies in university and through my part-time job. But now I cant even seem to get out of bed, not even for my classes. The only times I force myself to get out of bed is if attendance is required for a class or when I have to get to work. And despite laying around doing nothing and wasting my time away, I don’t even sleep much. I sleep on average 4 hours a day, cannot seem to stomach eating anymore, and I now do the bare minimum in terms of hygiene and self care.
I never realized how bad it was until I just recently realized how I have lost track of time and its been two years since I graduated high school, and I cant remember much from the past two years. It upsets me that I am wasting my time, barely passing my class, and still have no idea what program I want to be in. I cannot take a break because my parents refuse to let me take a gap year, which I really needed to deal with my burnout from high school, and from everything in general, so now I am currently in open studies just so I don’t disappoint them.
I have always grew up in a stressful household, in a household where the common form of communication seemed to yelling and insults, whether that was insults between my parents or toward my sibling and I. It use to happen 1-3 times a week, now its seems to happen multiple times a day. Most of the time when I’m at home is to either be the mediator between the fights, or my parents insulting me and calling me lazy and useless, even though I try to do as much as I can around the house such as cleaning, laundry and shopping, and helping my younger sibling with school. And I know its the bare minimum but they don’t seem understand how hard it is to even get up recently, and I get so exhausted after doing simple tasks such as cleaning my room. But my parents never tried to go easy on me whenever I would try to explain myself. They proceed to call me selfish because according to them all I do is stay in my room or selfishly put all my energy at work and choose not to do so at home. And even though I have repeatedly explained myself that this isn’t true, they chose to never listen to me. I feel hopeless because I have no one else to talk to, and when I finally broke down and tried to end it, my parents got mad of me and mocked me. But regardless, I love and adore my parents because they sacrificed so much for me, immigrated from our homeland for a better quality of life and education for my sibling and I, and work so much to provide for us. And despite their constant outbursts, anger and yelling, I cant get upset towards them because their behavior if also due to both of their parents being abusive. And I understand that this doesn’t justify their behavior but I still sympathize with them.
I’ve tried to reach help from school services and actually went to a few therapy session via the university back in winter but I did not feel like I could fully benefit from it because I could not bring myself to explain my situation in my household, and also because my parents got upset when I let it slip that I was attending sessions without letting them know.
I know how pathetic this all sounds, and I'm 19 turning 20 this year and all I do is waste my time away doing nothing and can’t get my life together. I don’t find any joy in life anymore, everything is dull and grey, I despise myself and can’t remember much anymore or what has happened in the past two years. I don’t even perform hobbies that use to keep me going such as painting and drawing, I don’t even remember the last time I sat down to draw. My mental state has only been getting worse, and I’ve resorted to self-harm to feel something. My mental state feels like its spiraling and it’ll only ever get worse from here. I feel like I’m suffocating and there is no way to escape. Everything feels so bitter.
I apologize for the long post and rant, but I would really appreciate if I could get any sort of guidance and thank you for any help, I deeply appreciate it in advance.

My hair is thick, long, and wavy. I usually wash my hair twice times a week bc I have found out it looks better if I follow this routine.
I wanna start working out, but sweat messes it up and I don’t wanna break the routine I have since it’s proven to work in the past.
Any tips on managing this? Thank you!

it had been something that felt off for so long, something i had so much guilt for doubting, where i suppressed my gut feeling, and i lost trust in myself.i finally mustered the courage to first bring up to another of her best friends that things were not adding up. i was scared they’d tell her ‘lol wtf ur friend thinks ur a liar about something so serious’but, they agreed.
eventually, on another day, i suggested potential elements of borderline personality disorder in her, and this opened the gates to a bunch of little things that didn’t feel quite right but i still couldn’t say for sure. never seen the meds (when it was tablet chemo), never seen her sick, still drinking every weekend, declined my friend to see diagnosis for better understanding of the ovarian cancer, the fact the ambulance picks her up at night but her mum doesn’t even know she has it, she tells the hospital she needs to leave in the morning so she can see me that day, have never met the friends who took her to the hospital when the immense pain started (which i have yet to see again, 9 months later), refusal of every doctor in the state to get surgery as she mentioned she may want a child, debt and selling all properties to cover medical costs, much more that i probably don’t even remember honestly - these could all be things that were real. some of them might be in the event she does have it. but i am 95% sure this isn’t the case, and if not, im 100% sure the situation is extremely exaggerated and i have caught lies;…..
the thing that irked me upon this realisation is that when she was homeless for being outed (i have met her family, so lovely and made her a birthday party i went to following this, her sister is so generous, i thought ‘well they must be incredible actors pretending to be nice’ which again is possible). i used to drain myself to make sure she was safe, had somewhere to go and she’d refuse to come to my home. (the reason it was draining was because of the refusal and back and forth and saying stuff like ‘its ok ill just freeze and get assaulted, its comfy under the bridge???’ like in a half joking but not funny way. one night, after this refusal, i threw a jacket into the train carriage she got on as it left and started to cry. i talked to my dad because i was so upset, and finally told someone, my dad, that she had cancer. (she was not open about it at this point). dad, rationally, said ok, just check her location. this is not something that crosses my mind as i had trust, and don’t like to push boundaries of privacy in sharing that. anyway, she was already at home. and every time i checked, was still there. now, that’s fine if you text or later say ‘don’t worry, im home safe, all is good’. but that is not what happened; she continuously brought up homelessness from there as something scary and horrible, living under a bridge in the rain etc.so that was in my mind for sure.
anyway, flash forward to the last couple weeks, her friend and i hung out individually (rare) and talked. they said that she sent a photo of her getting the chemo. it was blood coming out of her arm. they questioned this; ‘aren’t they supposed to be putting stuff in?’ she said it was just a blood sample. they checked where she was on location, maybe not knowing it was shared via messages just recently before for a different case of meeting for dinner or something — and she was actually at a blood bank donation place. as soon as the friend told me this, dots were connected.
just days before, i checked her location when she said ‘chemo pumping into my veins, should be done in 30’ (we were hanging out later that afternoon). she was also at a blood bank, or the park near it maybe, this one different location from the last when the friend saw it. i checked thoroughly to see if any hospitals or anything were nearby. nope. this blood donation bank does not do samples, and they do not take donations from people with cancer (obv).
ANYWAY back to the friends perspective, they then received a photo of the bandage they give you. the friend responded something like ‘ohh cute, those are the ones they give you at the blood donation company’. then, they get a notification ‘___ has stopped sharing her location with you’. wtf?
my confidence in knowing whether it was a lie or not fell just a week before i was told this, because she fainted (for the first time I’ve seen) at a concert we went to. that put me back in the spiral. i think that could be from lack of eating or, dare i say it, possible faked too. but it sure seemed real and i really can’t say. but from hearing this story from the friend, i was quite confident she was lying.
consuming for my mental health, i started to obsessively check on the 2 days a week she claimed to get treatment. one of them, didn’t go at all, other, ended up at ANOTHER blood donation bank. a third different one. no hospital nearby. and this caused me to have a panic attack. which i never have. it triggered me so bad. the friend sure enough said later, she said to them they were at chemo that day. if you’re wondering why im getting less of this info, it may be because i started distancing myself from that part of the friendship as a defence mechanism, where previously i fed into wanting to make sure she’s taking her meds and stuff. like i said making sure she had somewhere to live killed me because no help was often taken (she did still stay here and there) and i still felt responsible. and also, she told me to my face ‘if i keep doing what im doing now, the doctors say i only have 8 months to live’ which made me cry in front of her and again spiral into making sure she was taking meds. anyway, i couldn’t do all that anymore.
also last week, the two of them were hanging out ( i can’t bring myself to do so atm ). she said that she suddenly felt sick, while they were in the change room. the friend said ‘oh shit no worries let me drive u to the hospital’. she refused, and literally escaped like running away while they were in the change room. again, they checked where they were and they were at a different friends house (the one she currently stays at and says is the one curing her cancer depression). but she was texting them like she was in the hospital !!!!!!!
it’s endless crazy lies at this point. does she think im stupid?im well aware it is most likely a mental illness and she is doing this for attention and to maybe keep people from leaving in a way. but i can’t be the one to open the flood gates from all the people she’s told by bringing it up. i just want to ghost, but i haven’t, because it raises flags… but i can’t bear to see her and pretend like nothing is wrong. nope. i don’t think its my responsibility to change her when i have already been chipped away and broken from this whole thing? but at the same time of course i want her to have help and i have so much love for her. what if the lies get worse - self harm? which reminds me she has had cuts on her leg she said was from her mum. it might be true but I CANT TRUST HER at the end of the day so??? GAG i hate this and the fact I’ve mentally struggled with this aspect of the friendship for like a year and now it’s caught up to me actually hurts so much. going to 2nd counselling session in 2 weeks

My boyfriend works in a female dominated field. We have been together since before he started this job (2 years together, 1 at this company) he is the only man in his department of the office and has made it clear he is in a committed relationship. His is a tall and handsome with long hair and a gorgeous, friendly smile.
He has set boundaries with a few coworkers who have been a little too friendly. Examples are inviting him over to events, church and parties, which he always politely declines. His company has a work group chat so they all have his number and every once in a while some of these women will text him separately. (Sending him memes, tiktoks, asking what he wants from Starbucks, not work related stuff) this come across to me as flirty and while I’m glad he is honest enough to tell me, I can’t help but feel uncomfortable that they want him, or at the very least his attention.
The examples are all admittedly pretty small, however it still makes me upset to think about him being around these people every day.
He knows how I feel and reassures me I have nothing to worry about, he loves me and is only attracted to me. Please don’t come at him as he isn’t doing anything wrong. (He doesn’t engage in conversation at work except the bare minimum small talk to be polite) The advice I’m seeking is how do I accept the inevitable fact that other women will be attracted to him? And how do I deal with those women being people he works with and has to interact with everyday?
TLDR: women at bfs work bid for his attention and it makes me uncomfortable. He has set boundaries, what can I do to feel safe?

Am going through a nightmare with my purchase of a leasehold in London, any advice appreciated.
The first issue was that the ground rent was set to increase every 5 years in line with RPI. While my lender (Barclays) accepted this my solicitor warned that most won’t and this will highly impact the resalability of the flat. So after a lot of teeth pulling I managed to get the seller to agree to filing and assigning me a Section 42 lease extension upon exchange and reduced the purchase price by the premium estimate given by a surveyor. This is so that the ground rent can be peppercorned (the lease itself is already long, 200+ years).
Now a week before exchange Barclays says they are refusing to lend because the lease also lacks a mortgagee protection clause so there is no obligation for the freeholder to give notice in the event of a forfeiture claim if ground rent is unpaid. My solicitor asked them if indemnity insurance would do instead but they put their foot down and demanded the clause be added by deed of variation.
This is so disappointing and I am tearing my hair out. The sellers are going to ask the freeholder for a deed of variation to add the mortgagee protection clause but I think they are unlikely to agree due to a history of being difficult. In the meanwhile my solicitor is trying to write to Barclays explaining that I am pursuing a lease extension to peppercorn the ground rent, and that there is a law called the CPR requirement which requires the freeholder to serve them notice in the event of a forfeiture claim (albeit no obligation to notify them prior to issuing it).
This is just a disaster and I am really stressed especially as I thought everything was solved. I appreciate this is a very specific situation but any advice at all would be appreciated.

Homer Simpson, runway model? You probably don't think of the shlubby Springfield dad as a fashion icon, but Balenciaga, au contraire, believes he belongs at Paris Fashion Week.
The Spanish luxury fashion house tapped The Simpsons patriarch to help debut its spring/summer 2022 collection with a creative 10-minute animated movie featuring characters from the long-running show walking the catwalk in the City of Light. (In Bart's case, "rolling" the catwalk is more like it -- he makes his way down the runway on a skateboard, in jeans and thigh-high boots.)
The presentation is part of Paris Fashion Week 2021, which is largely back in person after a COVID-related break last year that saw designers mostly staging digital presentations and many home-bound fashion fans having trouble imagining life out of sweatpants. Balenciaga held an in-person show this year with a movie premiere theme involving a red carpet. The Simpsons video brings the brand's looks to a wider audience, though as Homer laments in the video, the prices on some items are hardly accessible to all.
Homer, looking sleek in sunglasses and a red puffer jacket with a huge collar, clearly enjoys the attention of elite fashion photographers, while Lisa, in a simple red dress and pearls, is a far more reluctant model ("Walk a runway? It's so superficial," she says).
The coup de catwalk, however, comes when Marge floats down the runway in a floor-length gold gown that really makes her big blue hair pop. A celebrity-packed audience that includes Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Justin Bieber and Vogue Editor in Chief Dame Anna Wintour gives her a standing ovation as La Vie en Rose plays.
Smithers; Moe; and Marge's twin sisters Selma and Patty Bouvier also strut the catwalk in Balenciaga's new line, as does Chief Wiggum, wearing heels and a coat with shoulder pads that aren't typical of Springfield's current police squad. The Simpsons celebrated its 30th anniversary

I can't go back to the same old misery. I have made that decision I'm breaking out of that dark and cold mist. I'm so sick of the endless pain, sadness and tears. I can't go back.
I went there to find if you were there, because I was of course tempted. I missed you and that tenderness so much. I was so infatuated, obsessed, addicted, deeply, profoundly. I admire you, I appreciate you. And I miss you.
I did not go inside because I should not, I cannot, and, I just can't see anything good come out of it. It felt like the beginning of something horribly wrong. Who were you trying to fool - hanging out late night at a bar, the two of us, clearly feeling that connection. Nothing is innocent, on top of my already overwhelming guilt, and, longing.
So there I was, paralyzed in my dilemma. can't move, can't leave.
Afterall, it is bad timing. Intended as a pun. But you are of course allowed to feel glad that timing turned into cross paths briefly. Not sure whether you meant what I read, but, sure, that's one of the positive perspectives I keep reminding myself of. But it is not fair, how could it be fair. Bad timing, what-ifs. Those are the kind of things that will send one's mind into a spiral. Those things keep reminding you what you do not have, cannot have, the things you are missing in this life. Those are the things I was trying to escape from. I can't go back to the old misery. It might not be fair, that nothing is ever gonna improve for this situation. But life never guarantees fairness. Maybe there is no such thing as fairness in this random universe. The supposed-to-be causations might just be coincidence. Impermanence is the truth of life. A lot of unfortunate pains and sufferings are no one's fault, like this particular misery I am in, maybe. So what's the point of crying "it is not fair." Be grateful to the crossed paths, to the short company, to the good things in you. And that should be it.
​
You want to know what's in my head. the thing that is bothering me that I can't tell. You know what, you can't handle it. My craziness, my pain, my guilt, my sin, the things I feel, because of you. Have you ever been loved this way, not to say that's what this thing is. Have anyone ever written you poems, pages and pages of journals, read every bit of you like I did? Maybe not. And I don't think you could handle that, and I don't even trust you with such secret. Also, I have not yet decided what label should I put to this vast amount of tenderness, this nameless thing that has been bothering me since more than a year ago.
Anyway. I'm tired. Need to catch up on some sleep before another trying and tiring day.
​
06092023

I have a 59FIFTY fitted hat that I got a few weeks ago. It has a really sturdy and tall crown frame and seems way more sturdy than previous 59FIFTY hats I’ve purchased years ago. I got dog hair all over it from my neighbors dog but I am allergic to dogs so I want to get rid of the pet haidander? Would it be safe to dunk it in a bucket with some water and allergen removing laundry detergent for 10-15 minutes or would that ruin the shape of the bill or crown frame? I assume if I am gentle with it and don’t do it too long that it won’t change anything but I want to make sure. Also does the temperature of the water matter?

I don't know where else to even talk about this to, and I don't even know if she overdosed or not but I just feel like im spiraling right now and I need to talk about this to literally anybody.
I've had this friend since elementary school. We weren't best friend levels, but we've always been kind of close. We had some sort of spat in middle school, but we made up and now she's one of the most real people I know.
I don't know if this is something she's been doing forever and I only just found out about it, but one day during class we were talking and she told me, "I finally got my hand on some edibles and I'm gonna get so high this weekend." Now, I'm not gonna act like I didn't know people in my school, let alone people I know are doing drugs, but this coming from her felt out of nowhere. She didn't seem like the type, I don't know.
Next week she told me about her trip and how fun it was and how her crush was hooking her up with some free stuff, and THEN she was talking about how she went to a family dinner while high and that she feels weird when she isn't high. I guess she could tell I was concerned because she told me how she's not gonna get hooked and that she can stop whenever she wants to. I don't know shit about drugs, but I really didn't buy her assuring, but I didn't say anything more other than a "as long as you're safe" comment.
When school ended, she started facetiming me and telling me about her whole week plans, and usually we would just call and talk about whatever, but she started talking more and more about how she was only looking forward to weekends so she could get high, and how she's been stealing money from her parents. I didn't even know what to respond to that with, so I would just tell her to stay safe and change the conversation.
At this point there's been multiple times where she's called me out of nowhere while high or while GETTING high. I used to comment on it, but I stopped since there was a 50/50 percent chance she'd be doing some sort of drug on call. Despite this, she never took alcohol and said how she doesn't want to even start it. She said she doesn't wanna get hooked.
One day, she told me about how she's getting better and that she's gonna give all her stuff to her friend after she does one final trip this weekend. I congradulated her and told her I was proud, because honestly, I was. Her behavior concerned me, and I didn't know what to do since I know nothing about drugs, but I always tried to encourage her to at least do drugs SAFELY. She told me how she really doesn't wanna mess up for when she moves to a fancier school, and how she wants to stop early. A day later, she told me about how she gave all of her stuff to her friend and that she feels happy about herself. She told me that I helped her quit.
Couple days later, I get a facetime call from her out of nowhere at, like, 8 pm. I answer, and I see her holding a Corona, looking fucked up. I immediately tell her, "What the hell are you doing? I thought you quit? I thought you hated alcohol?" She told me that she just wanted to try it and that she hates the taste of alcohol, but the buzz is worth it.
I know I didn't cause her to decide to get drunk, but when she was drunkenly calling me and telling me about how she feels funny, I felt so guilty. I tried not crying while calling her, but when she told me that she messaged her friend begging for her stuff back, I felt like I failed. I could've helped her with quitting and instead I just took a bystander role. Eventually, I think she ended the facetime on accident and just never realized, because suddenly she hung up and I couldn't stop crying.
The next day, she was venting on how she wants to get wasted and overdose.
Today, she texted my friend groupchat, "Bye I think."
I really hope I'm overreacting because I really don't wanna lose her. She isn't even old enough to have drugs, none of our friends are. She's only 14. I really wish I was more firm with her and begged her to quit. I wish I cried on that facetime, maybe it would've made her reflect in any way. Even if she didn't do anything dangerous, I feel like a failure. I could've done something, but I didn't, I just watched a friend I've known for years spiral downwards and I did nothing. It feels like I did nothing.
Sorry for the ramble, I promised her I wouldn't tell any of our irl friends about her drug use.

Hi all,
I am looking looking for additional beta readers for my revenge driven epic fantasy, With His Father's Sword. I'd love to do some critique swaps if anyone is willing. I'll pop a brief synopsis of the opening down below.
Obviously all feedback would be welcome, but I'd especially welcome structural feedback. This book aims to be an inversion of the traditional hero's journey, and begins to build towards a villain protagonist.
Synopsis
When a condemned man is dragged to the block, he vows bloody vengeance against all Harald's father hold dear. But what do a dead man's words matter? Harald's father swings the sword; the man's head rolls.
Harald has bigger problems than a simple execution. His father wants to send him away. No more castle, no more sparring with his half-brothers in the yard. His bastard birth has caused shame for long enough. His half-brothers won't help. They're big, brutish and their father's sons to the last hair on their ugly heads.
Harald leaves the castle. Spends the night in the woods. Let them worry, he thinks. But when he returns in the morning, he finds utter ruin. His step-mother is dead. His half-brothers are dead. Even his father is dead.
He knows what has done it. He remembers the condemned man's words. With his father's sword in hand, he visits the man's grave. Something has clawed its way free, leaving bits of skin amongst the dirt.
A draugr has not risen in centuries, but Harald cannot deny the truth of his eyes.
He vows revenge. He swears it on God and his family. He swears it on his father's sword.
With His Father's Sword examines mental health and masculinity in epic fantasy, while framing the descent of a would be hero into a dangerous villain. It explores the pressures of toxic masculinity, the lack of positive male role models, and the expectation to conform to social norms.
Content warnings:
Violence, oppression, sexual themes. It is a grimdark fantasy.
link to chapter 1
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qLCkaCISDhPsy-7tncMqR9CBJT-FmdPKhcaRW7R_RRM/edit?usp=drivesdk