i was on an active delivery for doordash when i was making a right turn and got hit. though it was night and hard to see, technically i was at fault because i’d ‘failed to yield’ on a right turn. basically my little old ford focus was totaled that night, and its not too big of a deal because it had a lot of problems and id been saving up already for a better car. on the other hand, i happened to collide with a brand new looking land rover:/ so when it happened, the guy pulled so far down the street before stopping that i couldn’t see how bad the damage was on his car. anyways, the police arrived pretty quickly and exchanged insurance info for us. so the next morning i called my insurance and told them what happened and this is where i fucked up:
“i was driving for doordash and”
i want to make note that i’m 18, i just moved out and my dad was the one paying for my insurance because i was on his plan, so i had no idea of any rideshare add ons to the insurance because id never had to deal with that.
basically the moment i told the insurance agent that i was delivering for doordash, she told me that i wouldn’t be covered for myself OR the other party and that i should he expecting an email or call back with a formal denial.
panicking, i researched and researched if doordash had any kind of insurance that i could rely on and turns out they do, but only for the other party. and only if i was on an active delivery (which i was). currently i’m waiting on the formal denial letter from my insurance so that i can open a claim for doordash, but the two things i’m so worried about are

1. will doordash deny my claim because i didn’t have the rideshare/delivery add-on from my insurance?
   
2. even though i was on the way to the customers house with the food when i crashed, how can i be sure that they don’t try to deny that i was on an active delivery? about 20 minutes after i crashed i had contacted the customer and told her that i had gotten into an accident and wouldn’t be able to deliver her food so she should contact customer service and cancel her order for her money back. and then the order was cancelled. i also then called customer service and told them i was in an accident and all they did was made sure the order was cancelled. does anyone know if doordash has access to all of my deliveries and even if they were cancelled? also on the police report, he wrote down the time that it was reported and somewhere in the doordash system should show i was on an active delivery at that very time.
   

overall the main thing i’m concerned for and can’t think about anything else over is if all fails… whats gonna happen? because i cant afford to pay for someones rich land rover when i’m having to do doordash in the beginning just to pay for bills and have been trying to scrap up enough extra for a better car… i have no help from family either. has anyone been through something similar?😔

I’m 50 hours in the Campaign. This is my current roster:
Light: Raven-1X (2)
Medium: Hero Blackjack-A* Hero Cidada-X5* Phoenix Hawk-1K (2) Goblin’s Phoenix Hawk-KB* Centurion9-AH
Heavy: Black Knight7-L Hero Catapult-J* Marauder-3D Warhammer-6R
Assault: Awesome-8Q Banshee-3P Battlemaster-1G Zeus-5T Zeus-6S
Are there mechs that have better variations than the ones I currently have?
Are there any mechs that are a waste of space and should be replaced by a better mech?
And is there any mechs that you believe to be essential to a roster?
Also:
To clarify: ECM Counter is to counter other ECM? And ECM Disrupt is to decrease the accuracy of the enemy?
Is having more than one ECM Mech stack? Like does the ECM Disrupt become better or it’s simple gives it more area of effect cause of more mechs?
When you give an ECM Mechs is it on Counter or Disrupt by default and if you swap mechs and change to disrupt does it stay?
I think I know the OP mechs like King Crab, Annihilator, and Atlas. Is there any place I can find them or quest reward? I know someone told me that Atlas’ spawn in North House Steiner territory.
I also read that House Kuita has some unique exclusive OP mechs but you have to gain reputation with them. Is that the only way to get them and do you know the names?
Are melee mechs worth it? Apparently the Hatamoto is OP and the thought of an assault mech going as fast as 100 is scary. Also where can I find this mech?
And lastly, how do I find more double heat sinks?
Sorry if this is a lot. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

i was on an active delivery for doordash when i was making a right turn and got hit. though it was night and hard to see, technically i was at fault because i’d ‘failed to yield’ on a right turn. basically my little old ford focus was totaled that night, and its not too big of a deal because it had a lot of problems and id been saving up already for a better car. on the other hand, i happened to collide with a brand new looking land rover:/ so when it happened, the guy pulled so far down the street before stopping that i couldn’t see how bad the damage was on his car. anyways, the police arrived pretty quickly and exchanged insurance info for us. so the next morning i called my insurance and told them what happened and this is where i fucked up:
“i was driving for doordash and”
i want to make note that i’m 18, i just moved out and my dad was the one paying for my insurance because i was on his plan, so i had no idea of any rideshare add ons to the insurance because id never had to deal with that.
basically the moment i told the insurance agent that i was delivering for doordash, she told me that i wouldn’t be covered for myself OR the other party and that i should he expecting an email or call back with a formal denial.
panicking, i researched and researched if doordash had any kind of insurance that i could rely on and turns out they do, but only for the other party. and only if i was on an active delivery (which i was). currently i’m waiting on the formal denial letter from my insurance so that i can open a claim for doordash, but the two things i’m so worried about are

1. will doordash deny my claim because i didn’t have the rideshare/delivery add-on from my insurance?
   
2. even though i was on the way to the customers house with the food when i crashed, how can i be sure that they don’t try to deny that i was on an active delivery? about 20 minutes after i crashed i had contacted the customer and told her that i had gotten into an accident and wouldn’t be able to deliver her food so she should contact customer service and cancel her order for her money back. and then the order was cancelled. i also then called customer service and told them i was in an accident and all they did was made sure the order was cancelled. does anyone know if doordash has access to all of my deliveries and even if they were cancelled? also on the police report, he wrote down the time that it was reported and somewhere in the doordash system should show i was on an active delivery at that very time.
   

overall the main thing i’m concerned for and can’t think about anything else over is if all fails… whats gonna happen? because i cant afford to pay for someones rich land rover when i’m having to do doordash in the beginning just to pay for bills and have been trying to scrap up enough extra for a better car… i have no help from family either. has anyone been through something similar?😔

I (18F) am a pianist and I have two close friends, Nishi and Ramona (both 18F as well). We have known each other since the seventh grade and a lot of our friendship revolved around music related activities, as they are both avid singers. I enjoy jamming with them but unfortunately we haven't been doing much together in the last couple of years. Nishi quietly moved schools one day to pursue better academic and extra-curricular activities - mainly music - but she never told me about it. I heard it first from Ramona. I was a little upset that Nishi didn't tell me directly but I just kinda brushed it aside, it wasn't a deal breaker for me.
I was recently requested to play at someone's nuptials (church wedding). I also have the task of getting a few singers on board. Naturally I took this as an opportunity to involve Nishi and Ramona since it has been a while we have done something like this together. They both happily agreed and Nishi especially told me how excited she is about it. We are due to start practices any day now, the wedding is in July. But I've run into a problem now and feel like I don't want Nishi part of this group anymore.
I saw a post on her insta that she had gotten accepted into xyz university, which is my dream uni. She knows it's where I want to go, I had told her weeks ago. But when I asked her about herself; she made it look like she didn't even know what stream she wanted to pursue, let alone which college she would do it in. Which is all a big lie. I know she isn't obliged to spare all the details of her life but IMHO friendships are based on honesty. And I tell her everything about myself. She somehow finds the time in her 'busy schedule' to inform her other friends (Ramona included) about all her accomplishments: vocal exams, other exams, performances, projects; anything really. It's not the first time she's withheld information from me. And even her acceptance into xyz wasn't told to me directly, I saw it on an Instagram post.
Leading this wedding choir is an accomplishment for me and one I'm proud of. I feel like Nishi is a liar and a gatekeeper (it's not like I could impede her chances of getting into xyz or something). I feel I'm being nice and including her in everything but she isn't reciprocating it. I want to remove her from the choir now, she has other opportunities. WIBTA for doing this? Am I overreacting or am I justified for feeling this way?


FINANCIALS

Period: FY/2023
Filling Date: 2023-06-06
REVENUE:
Revenue: $77.38B
Gross Profit: $17.51B (22.63%)
Result: $-15.99B (ebitda)
EPS: $-1 083.19
Outstanding Shares: 31.70M
BALANCE:
Cash: 15.99M
Debt: 10.02M
FINANCIAL EVALUATION/SCORE:
Financial Score - Altman: 0.26
Financial Score - Piotroski: 2.00
Company Description:
Orion Energy Systems, Inc. researches, designs, develops, manufactures, markets, sells, installs, and implements energy management systems for commercial office and retail, exterior area lighting, and industrial applications in North America. The company operates through three segments: Orion Services Group, Orion Distribution Services, and Orion U.S. Markets. It offers interior light emitting diode (LED) high bay fixtures; smart building control systems, which provide lighting control options and data intelligence capabilities for building managers; and LED troffer door retrofit for use in office or retail grid ceilings. The company also offers various other LED and HIF fixtures for lighting and energy management needs comprising fixtures for agribusinesses, parking lots, roadways, retail, mezzanine, outdoor applications, and private label resale. In addition, it provides maintenance, repair, and replacement services; offers lighting-related energy management services, such as site assessment, site field verification, utility incentive and government subsidy management, engineering design, project management, installation, facility design commissioning, and recycling; and sells and distributes replacement lamps and fixture components into the after-market. The company serves customers directly and through independent sales agencies and distributors, national account end-users, federal and state government facilities, regional account end-users, electrical distributors, electrical contractors, and energy service companies. Orion Energy Systems, Inc. was incorporated in 1996 and is headquartered in Manitowoc, Wisconsin.

Original Source: https://boringmoney.in/p/byjus-is-sued-by-its-lenders (my newsletter Boring Money -- please visit the link to subscribe and receive similar posts about finance in India directly in your inbox)
Voiceover on Spotify
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Four years ago I read an article in The Ken (disclosure: I was later employed here) titled The making of a loan crisis at Byju’s. The gist of the story was that Byju’s was an edtech doing phenomenally well selling its digital courses to parents of young students. But these courses were expensive and these parents were poor. So it was also selling them loans to buy these courses. Only, without telling them. Parents would expect a course (which could be cancelled) but would end up with a loan (which couldn’t be cancelled).
Three days ago, Byju’s went to court in New York. Here’s the headline from TechCrunch: Byju’s sues ‘predatory’ lenders on $1.2B term loan, won’t make further payments.
Byju’s is a company that, arguably, made a business out of giving out predatory loans. Now it’s sued its own lenders and accused them of being predatory. I’m not saying that this is poetic justice but.. okay, scratch that. This is poetic justice! If Shakespeare were a finance writer this is the kind of stuff he would come up with.

Everyone wants to lend to Byju’s

In 2021, interest rates were low, loans were cheap. Tech startups were doing great, edtech startups were crushing it. Byju’s, not one to be left behind, had raised a lot of money but money was cheap so it also wanted to borrow. It wanted a $500 million loan from lenders in the US, which it wanted to use to acquire companies there. Instead, it ended up borrowing more than double—$1.2 billion—because lenders practically wanted to throw money at this overachieving edtech startup from India. [1]
The way a term loan such as this works is:

1. A company goes to an investment bank and asks for a loan
2. The bank syndicates this loan to investors, who become the lenders. Everyone comes together in a room and negotiates the specifics of the loan (which can be quite complex, as we’ll see)
3. The loan goes through and everyone’s happy. Presumably, the company likes its lenders, the lenders like the company
4. The original investors might sell the loans they own to other investors. The company’s only talking to an administrative agent representing the lenders, so over time it might not even know who its lenders are

In November 2021, prominent investment managers such as Blackstone, Fidelity and GIC had gone overboard to lend money to Byju’s. By September 2022, Byju’s lenders were desperately selling [2] their loans at a 36% discount on the principal. (Today, Byju’s debt is at a 20% discount, which is also bad.)
It’s likely that Blackstone, Fidelity and other of the OG lenders aren’t Byju’s’ lenders any more. They’ve almost certainly sold off their loans at a loss. Better get paid something than get paid nothing.
Dealers of the dead
If a company’s debt is being sold at a 36% discount, it’s because investors think that the company is unlikely to repay its loans. If you buy such a loan, you potentially stand to gain a lot—because of the discount—but well, you might also just lose everything.
If you’re a regular investment management company, like Blackstone, you don’t want to invest in such a loan. Your investors gave you this money to get predictable returns. If they wanted risk, they’d ask you to buy stocks. You don’t want to get into a fight with your borrower. If you feel they will not pay you back, you take a loss, sell the loans, move on.
If you’re a distressed debt investor, your entire business is to buy such distressed loans from regular investment managers like Blackstone. You’re going to get nasty borrowers who are unlikely to want to repay their loans but that’s okay. Because you’re nasty too. You spend less time on financial models, more in courts and around lawyers. You like to fight to get your money back. Sometimes you might lose, but the times you win, you win big. The wins cover your losses and some more.
Blackstone and the others sold Byju’s’ loans in desperation, and they were almost certainly bought by distressed debt investors. We don’t know who they are exactly, but Byju’s has indicated that one of them is Redwood Capital, a New York-based distressed debt investor.
If you’re a distressed debt investor, this is how it works:

1. You get a loan for super cheap
2. If the company repays its loan, great! You make a lot of money
3. But the company isn’t likely to repay, which is why you got the loan for cheap in the first place
4. So it’s in your best interest to not let the company die a slow death. Instead, you want to kill the company quick. You take the company to court ASAP and take all the money you’re owed while it’s still there

If the new investors waited, say, for a year, and took Byju’s to court after it had actually defaulted on its repayments—there might not be any money left! Byju’s may have given all the money to Lionel Messi or maybe laundered it away someplace the lenders wouldn’t find it. If you’re a distressed debt investor, you want to get Byju’s to court and get the court to force it to do whatever it takes to pay you back.
Last month, Byju’s’ new lenders sued Byju’s in the Delaware Court of Chancery [3]. We’ll get to the official reasons for this lawsuit in a bit, but what’s important is that Byju’s was not being sued because it defaulted on a payment. It hadn’t. It was being sued because the distressed debt investors expect it to default sooner or later, and they would prefer dealing with it sooner rather than later.

Lenders go for the kill

Usually, the finer details of corporate loans such as Byju’s’ aren’t public. But thanks to the multiple lawsuits we know quite a bit here.
The loan was made to Byju’s’ US entity and it was secured with guarantees from multiple Byju’s companies. From Byju’s’ lawsuit this week against its creditors (which I will get to), here are the guarantors:

1. Byju’s entities in India and Singapore
2. Byju’s’ US and Singapore acquisitions; companies including Oros, Epic, Great Learning, and Neuron
3. Whitehat India, Byju’s’ famous Indian acquisition

That’s a lot of companies guaranteeing a loan! Byju’s’ Indian entity is the parent of all the other guarantor companies, so having it as a guarantor should’ve been enough. I guess the rationale here was that it would be nice to have some non-Indian companies in the mix too, we do know how efficiently Indian courts work.
Apart from Byju’s the parent company itself, Whitehat was the only other Indian company guaranteeing this loan. The problem was that Whitehat itself, on paper, had negative net worth. It had probably taken loans of its own and did not have enough assets to cover them. In practice, this would be irrelevant, because Whitehat was owned by Byju’s and it would cover any of Whitehat’s liabilities. But, apparently, RBI regulations require Indian companies with negative net worth to take its approval before guaranteeing a loan. So even though Whitehat was a guarantor, the guarantee was meaningless until RBI granted its approval.
Yeah, well, RBI didn’t grant its approval. From the lawsuit:

Plaintiffs, Borrower, and Lenders had a call on or around October 6, 2022, to discuss the Whitehat Guarantee. In a good faith effort to negate any impact of the new regulations, Plaintiffs and the Borrower offered to move all assets out of Whitehat India into other subsidiaries of the Parent Guarantor that are Guarantors to the Credit Agreement, or are owned by Guarantors of the Credit Agreement. Lenders rejected this proposal without justification.

In October 2022, after Byju’s’ debt was already sold to the distressed debt investors, the company spoke to its lenders and informed them that it was unable to get RBI’s approval for Whitehat to be a guarantor. Instead, it offered to move Whitehat’s assets into other companies and then use those companies to guarantee the loan. Which would really have been the same thing. But the lenders refused! Why?!
Continuing from the lawsuit:

Lenders subsequently asserted that an event of default under Section 8.1(e) of the Credit Agreement (an “Event of Default”) had occurred due to the failure to procure the Whitehat Guarantee.

Oh, that’s why. Byju’s’ lenders—distressed debt investors that wanted Byju’s dead ASAP—used the fact that Whitehat couldn’t be a guarantor of this loan to claim a default and use it as a reason to take Byju’s to court in the US. Honestly, I’m impressed. The Whitehat guarantee was redundant to begin with, but the lenders had found an out and their official reason #1 to take Byju’s to court.
Oh, there’s another thing. In June 2022, The Ken reported (disclosure: I once worked here) that Byju’s’ financials for 2021 had been held up by its auditors because of certain, umm, creative accounting. By this time, Byju’s should have ideally filed even its 2022 financials. It was very late! From the lawsuit:

The FY’21 Audit was delivered to the Lenders on August 30, 2022. It did not contain a “going concern” qualification or any similar qualifications about the Parent Guarantor’s ability to continue into the future. However, the FY’22 Audit could not begin until the FY’21 Audit had been completed, and the Parent Guarantor’s business has continued to grow rapidly

Byju’s’ 2021 financials were held up because auditors weren’t giving the company their go ahead, so of course its 2022 financials were held up as well.

On or around August 29, 2022, Shearman & Sterling, LLP (“S&S”), counsel for GLAS, sent a letter to Byju’s Alpha and Think & Learn requesting certain financial disclosures from Plaintiffs and Borrower, and asserting that the failure to deliver this financial information was a breach of the Credit Agreement. … Rather than actually suffering any damage from the delayed FY’22 audit, Lenders opportunistically used this unintentional and non-material delay to exert pressure on Plaintiffs and the Borrower to extract onerous economic concessions.

I love it! Byju’s’ financials were delayed. Its agreement with the original lenders said that the company must share its audited financials with them. Byju’s wasn’t able to do that. The lenders found their official reason #2 to take Byju’s to court.

Byju’s sets up a defence

Before the lenders sued Byju’s last month, Byju’s tried its best to negotiate a deal. It gave the lenders an assurance of the company’s financial health, gave them concessions worth “tens of millions of dollars” and requested (pleaded) to take back their claims of Byju’s defaulting.
The lenders refused. They asked for either the full principal back or two-thirds of it, with an increment of 7% (!!) in the interest rate. Byju’s, of course, said no.
At this point, Byju’s knew that the lenders weren’t going to negotiate realistically. So it prepared its own defence. From the lawsuit:

The Credit Agreement prohibits transfers or assignments of the Lenders’ interests in the Term Loans to “Disqualified Lenders.” The Credit Agreement includes in its definition of Disqualified Lender “[a]ny [] Person (including an Affiliate or Approved Fund of a Lender) whose primary activity is the trading or acquisition of distressed debt,” and “those banks, financial institutions and other Persons separately identified by name . . . on or before the syndication . . . (which may be updated . . . from time to time . . .)”

In its agreement with the original lenders, Byju’s had put in a clause restricting its loan from being transferred to distressed debt investors. This is a risky clause to agree with, because it’s only these folks that buy loans that turn sour, but the original lenders had gone with it.

On information and belief, the entire course of Lenders’, and Defendant’s, bad-faith conduct has been driven by these distressed-debt lenders, who were never meant to have been lenders in the first place, and who acted with the intent of causing harm to Borrower and Plaintiffs. Meanwhile, Borrowers and Plaintiffs were initially unaware that the lenders were in fact being controlled by distressed debt dealers, and were therefore unable to take action to prevent their bad-faith plan from being implemented.

In its lawsuit this week, the crux of Byju’s’ argument is based on the fact that its loan is owned by distressed debt investors who were not eligible to be owning its debt in the first place. Also interesting is that Byju’s doesn’t seem to know who these lenders are. In its post-lawsuit statement, Byju’s named Redwood as one of the lenders, but it’s not named anywhere in the lawsuit.

Now what?

If push comes to shove, does Byju’s have the cash to pay off its lenders?
Last month, Byju’s transferred $500 million out of its US entity. The lenders had filed their lawsuit and there was a chance the court would freeze Byju’s’ US entity’s assets, so this was a precautionary move. So Byju’s has this $500 million. But that seems about it. Byju’s has been in the news saying that it’s trying to raise $700 million to pay off its debt. Yeah, between the horrible edtech market and the colourful lawsuits Byju’s is in, good luck with getting investors to donate their money to Byju’s.
But of course, Byju’s is now suing its lenders too. It does have an agreement that says that its debt can’t be held by distressed debt investors. So it’s not a frivolous suit.
Can Byju’s win? Sure. It would still have to pay its debt eventually. And it’s not straightforward. There are probably tens or even hundreds of lenders. It’s apparent that the distressed debt investors are the guiding force behind the lenders’ lawsuit, but it’s definitely not necessary that they form the majority of the lenders. In which case, Byju’s’ whole lawsuit falls apart.
The lenders are saying Byju’s defaulted by not keeping its part of the agreement, even though it had technically paid its dues. [4] Byju’s is saying that the lenders shouldn’t be the lenders in the first place and must be disqualified. We’ll see who’s right.
Footnotes
[1] It was a 5-year loan with a floating interest rate of 6% over Libor. Think of it as 6% over this magical interest-rate called Libor that some fancy-pants banks set amongst themselves everyday. Back in November 2021, Libor was at 0.25% and this was a 6.86% interest loan for Byju’s (the floor for Libor was 0.75%). Today, Libor is at about 5.64% and it’s an 11.6% loan.
[2] Multiple reasons for the investors to sell. One, interest rates went up and cash became more dear. If they had money stuck with Byju’s, it was money not being lent out to someone else. Second, edtech all around the world was in trouble. Kids were back in school and people didn’t think much of them anymore. Third, Byju’s as a company was showing its red flags.
[3] What a cool name!
[4] Until now, that is. Byju’s filed its lawsuit this week the same day it was supposed to make a $40 million interest payment.
​
Original Source: https://boringmoney.in/p/byjus-is-sued-by-its-lenders

Hello, I think I know what the right thing to do is, but as a any sane person, I shall ask the internet :) tl;dr My husband and I have been together for 6 years in total and have been married for 2 years. I am 26, he is 28. let's dive right into it - honestly, I have fallen out of love with him for a while, but have been to scared to do anything about it. The beginning of the relationship was, as I thought, quite beautiful, I was madly in love. But he has shown signs of controlling behaviour since the start - I was his first serious relationship, but he was not mine. He has shown a lot of attitude towards me not being a virgin, a smoker and overweight. I will get into that later.
We met when I lived in a foreign country and got together when I was really depressed and lonely. I did not see it at the time. We were nicely dating and after about 4 months we moved in together. Quick - I know, but the circumstances lead to this. I think I should add some good points about him, because, like I said, I was really in love with him. Our point of views on a lot of things were aligned and it seemed like our goals in life aligned too.
He was always supportive when I had my low moments and would always hold me when I would be crumbling. I remember, I used to say - I am sorry, I'm a bit broken. He would answer - don't worry, I will fix you. (a red flag in retrospect). He is also good at home - does not conform to the "standard" ideals of marriage - woman cooking and cleaning, which I really appreciate. He is also very handy at home, built our fence and terrace with no training, so that's also nice. My family (aunts mostly) love him, so I guess he knows how to put a nice appearance, however, my mom and sister are not so fond of him.
Now a bit about our marriage - since we started dating my weight has always been an issue - honestly I always had issues with it, but I feel like during our relationship I developed an eating disorder. I cannot say, that he caused me to develop it, but he has not been exactly kind about it. Only recently he started watching curvy girls on instagram and telling me I'm a goddess and that he is sorry that he did not see it earlier. He also basically admitted that only now, after 6 years of a relationship, he fell in love with me. So I feel like I've been lied to and lead on for so long and even got married with a person that did not love me.
Other things he abused me about:

• I used to be a smoker, and a couple of years ago started on and off vaping - at first, when I told him, he used to get so mad at me and be cold and not talk to me until I was like grovelling. Then I started hiding it, lying about it and vaping in secret - he caught me a few times and always threatened me with divorce, even took his ring to a pawn shop once (took it back later with money I lent him, not sure if he gave it back, oh well).
• I started studying for a master's degree in another town and kept travelling to the other town a lot and barely staying at home - we have agreed upon this before I started the studies, but by the end he started to guilt me, that I'm not home enough. I mean I get it, he is lonely, but it's not easy for me either.
• Recently I got a job, where I earn almost twice as much money, as he does. I am very picky about my money, and quite stingy about it honestly, I think it comes from never having money in my life, so I am very protective of it. When I got the job, his view was, that we should pool our money and have the "family money", which I was not comfortable with, so I said no. I did say, that we can put in the same amount of money into the shared account and I can put in a little bit more, because I earn more - that is fine. He blamed me for not being invested fully in the relationship and keeping one foot out the door.
• Not sure if it's abuse per say, but I, as any person I think, need attention and compliments. He would never give me any for the first 5 years, rather subtly put me down and pick on me. He has been trying to give me more compliments lately, but I mean should it require effort if you are in love?
• Something that I don't think is abuse but just hurt me deeply - I have been singing my whole life and I am quite proud of my singing. I always used to get compliments about my singing. He never liked it and openly admitted it. I mean it's fine, you cannot decide what you enjoy. It just hurt me, that my closest person does not enjoy my proudest asset.

Don't get me wrong - I know I am not without faults - I yell a lot, I am messy and quite selfish, but I don't think I don't deserve effort and love. The next part is going to be rough and triggering for some people, so stop here if you want and please let me know what you think.
The triggering part here:
About a year ago, my husband discovered wife-sharing and decided he wants to try it. Partially to spice up our life. I initially said no and kept saying no. The biggest problem for me was that he wanted me to meet guys on tinder and take photos/videos of me having sex with them, because it turns him on. I did it once at first, got a short video for him. It always made me feel icky, but I still did it. I texted some more guys and then stopped because it felt just awful. He was not happy, but he was ok to stop. After a few months he kept mentioning it and I agreed to do it again. And I actually got quite into it - my sex life with my husband was boring and I indulged in his fantasy. I actually went to meet a guy and fully had sex with him and took a picture afterwards for my husband so that he would be more included. Right when I left the guy's home, I wanted to call my husband and tell him all about it. Little did I know, he got very upset and mad at me and told me, that a little part of him hoped, that I wouldn't do it. Long story short, I got really upset because this was his idea, almost broke up with him then and there but after a little while he apologised.
We stopped this for a while and went to a New Year's party, where he got drunk and told about our sex life to anyone who would listen, without me hearing, complete strangers to him - some friends to me. Unfortunately I found out about this from my sister a couple of weeks later. When I confronted him about it, he managed to turn it around on me, that I shouldn't care what people think about me. Unfortunately - I do.
Later on he kept nagging me about more guys, I kept saying no. I would like to emphasise, that I said no many times. He can be very persuasive mind you and eventually wore me down saying, that it won't affect his feelings again. I'm sure you can all tell by now, that was not true. I slept with some more guys and actually started to enjoy myself, but since he wanted videos or pictures, I didn't, he was always unhappy and made me feel bad about it. His latest idea was that he would arrange it all and invite a guy to our home. and he did. He watched a little and of course, like he said, kinda stopped loving me.
That same week (yesterday) I went back to the town where my studies are and we had a big fight over messages. He said, if I want to meet anyone here, then I would have to take pictures or videos for him and I said no, I would rather not meet anyone. But let me remind you, that I already started enjoying it. He said, well, I kinda got my fill already, I think we should stop. I was willing to stop, but just wanted to point out the hypocrisy of stopping when he didn't want it and he got upset about me pushing back. It triggered something in me and I told him we should separate or get a divorce. He said, that I want to separate only to fuck around. I said ok, if you think so - divorce then. He said fine by me.
After this very long monologue - I hope I don't get too much criticism, but I do expect some. What do you think - if he tries to stay together - should I stay?

Heyo!
I would like your advice on what headphones to buy. Here are my issues: - I've got a big ass head, think bobblehead proportions :D - I've got greasy ass ears - I sweat when I run/train
This results in following problems: - my big head stretches the overhead headphones, and they snap eventually - my greasy ears coat in-ear headphones (buds) in slick wax and they fall out - sweat eats away any faux leather coating and piles up in sponge-y parts
Here is what I would like: - overhead headphones, no buds, no in ear - android and bluetooth connections are a must have (AUX compatible is not necessary at all, but nice to have) - flexible and/or of good quality materials so it doesn't break after a year or two (are there metallic versions? these would interest me as well) - can be charged wired, wireless charging is not mandatory - balanced tone or slightly more on the bass side (I listen to some audio books and youtube, but a lot more of old school HipHop, with a mix of trance/dance/techno thrown in - collapsable is nice to have, not mandatory - ships to/is sold in EU - will be used primarily outdoors, on a big, greasy, sweaty head, sometimes in the gym. occasionally hung around a thick, less sweaty, not greasy neck
I don't care about brands, I care about quality. I am willing to give a little bit extra money to get the end game headphones. Thank you all in advance!

i was on an active delivery for doordash when i was making a right turn and got hit. though it was night and hard to see, technically i was at fault because i’d ‘failed to yield’ on a right turn. basically my little old ford focus was totaled that night, and its not too big of a deal because it had a lot of problems and id been saving up already for a better car. on the other hand, i happened to collide with a brand new looking land rover:/ so when it happened, the guy pulled so far down the street before stopping that i couldn’t see how bad the damage was on his car. anyways, the police arrived pretty quickly and exchanged insurance info for us. so the next morning i called my insurance and told them what happened and this is where i fucked up:
“i was driving for doordash and”
i want to make note that i’m 18, i just moved out and my dad was the one paying for my insurance because i was on his plan, so i had no idea of any rideshare add ons to the insurance because id never had to deal with that.
basically the moment i told the insurance agent that i was delivering for doordash, she told me that i wouldn’t be covered for myself OR the other party and that i should he expecting an email or call back with a formal denial.
panicking, i researched and researched if doordash had any kind of insurance that i could rely on and turns out they do, but only for the other party. and only if i was on an active delivery (which i was). currently i’m waiting on the formal denial letter from my insurance so that i can open a claim for doordash, but the two things i’m so worried about are

1. will doordash deny my claim because i didn’t have the rideshare/delivery add-on from my insurance?
   
2. even though i was on the way to the customers house with the food when i crashed, how can i be sure that they don’t try to deny that i was on an active delivery? about 20 minutes after i crashed i had contacted the customer and told her that i had gotten into an accident and wouldn’t be able to deliver her food so she should contact customer service and cancel her order for her money back. and then the order was cancelled. i also then called customer service and told them i was in an accident and all they did was made sure the order was cancelled. does anyone know if doordash has access to all of my deliveries and even if they were cancelled? also on the police report, he wrote down the time that it was reported and somewhere in the doordash system should show i was on an active delivery at that very time.
   

overall the main thing i’m concerned for and can’t think about anything else over is if all fails… whats gonna happen? because i cant afford to pay for someones rich land rover when i’m having to do doordash in the beginning just to pay for bills and have been trying to scrap up enough extra for a better car… i have no help from family either. has anyone been through something similar?😔

We’re both in our early 20s. Im sorry for the long post, just want everyone to get a clear picture of the situation. You can skip to the end if you want.
I’ve been with Cam for a few months now. When we met, it was like sparks were flying. It was an instant connection and we would always say we met at the right time. We both were getting out of our party stage and buckling down on more important aspects of our lives.
3 weeks ago we had an amazing weekend. We opened up so much to each other and just stayed inside the house enjoying our presence. He told me he wouldn’t be able to see me during the week bc of work and i understood. We work opposite schedules and he lives far away so i didn’t ask to see him at all during the week. 1st weekend came and he told me he couldn’t see me bc he had to help his friend with his mom. His friend mom had cancer so again, no trying to convince him to come. Memorial Day he only texted me good morning and then when he got off work but was silent. The next day, he came into my town because he had to give his brother something (his brother lives in my town) and stopped by. He told me that over the weekend he went to say his final goodbyes to his friends mom and she passed away on Memorial Day. He started crying and i comforted him. I only saw him for maybe 20 minutes before he said he had to go to see his friend. We kissed bye and he said he would see me soon.
That week he had a tooth removal procedure and the funeral but Saturday told me he had his bag packed to come over. But suddenly he tells me his mom is freaking out on him and he can’t come. He lives with his parents and i can tell they have a big say on what he can and can’t do. I mean i get it, one we’re both Hispanic so that’s a whole different story when it comes to parents and 2. You live under their roof, you follow their rules no matter how old you are.
I got annoyed bc since Wednesday, he was telling me he would come see me everyday but then something would happen that he couldn’t but i never showed annoyance towards it. I didn’t put any blame on him, i just said i was sad bc i kept getting my hopes up to then feel let down but i understand it’s been a crazy + tough 2 weeks so to just not tell me that he’s coming until he knows for sure. The comment he made after i said that just made me feel like his parents had something to do with it. He told me that i do live far so he understands why his parents be tripping out on him. Then he said to just give him a good day to drive his truck down here and he’s sorry, that he’s not trying to bail on me. When he comes to see me, he always drives the “family car” which is a newer car and never his truck bc it’s old and he’s nervous to drive it so far. He drove it here once and told me he had to fill it up twice and it was almost $100. For him to tell me he needs to find a good day to bring his truck here just tells me his parents don’t want him driving to my city so they probably aren’t letting him use the family car knowing he can’t take the truck to see me. That would be $100 everytime for just a few hours. He had also been a little distant, he was taking longer to respond and wasn’t being as expressive, he would always send me snaps and voice notes but stopped and just being closed off.
The next couple days we were okay, but then Monday night, things just started to feel off. On Tuesday our communication was basically none and he just didn’t seem to be all there. Wednesday i asked if we could talk and just said i noticed he was being distant and if he still wanted to pursue something with me. That I’m wondering if there was anything he wasn’t telling me and i just want to be able to support him in any way possible but feel like I’m in the dark. I’ve just had this intuition feeling that part of his behavior had to do with his parents and wanted to see if he would tell me.
It took him 6 hours to respond and he told me I it’s been a difficult few weeks and has been dealing with everything. That i haven’t done anything wrong and been great and he doesn’t want me to feel like I’m on the back burner but he needs to change some things about himself and thinks it’s best if he stays to himself. He would feel bad dragging me along and I’ve done nothing but show him love. It’s just not good timing and he doesn’t want to lie and string me along.
He caught me off guard. He did this once, about 2 weeks in, he got in trouble with his dad because we were on the phone at 4am and he tried to run away but we talked about it and he admitted he was scared but that we were in this together. He says i deserve a lot and he wants to give it to me so he needs to focus on him so he can focus on us. Since that conversation, he didn’t try to run away until now.
This time feel like that but only this time, he didn’t engage with what i said back. The only part he responded too was one of me saying that i needed my game console back as family is visiting and i needed it to distract the little kids. He told me he would give it to my friend who lives in the same city as him. That to me also just showed signs that he either can’t or isn’t allowed to come to my city. But then I said why couldn’t he bring it, he took it so he needs to bring it back and he said he works doubles the next few days but will stop by on Tuesday.
I just said okay and we haven’t talked since then. That was earlier today and idk. Something inside of me just says this isn’t over. Who knows if he’ll come on Tuesday but i don’t plan on reaching back out to him until then. I’m not going to post on social media and try to make it seem like i want him to notice me. We have each others locations and he hasn’t turned his off for me either.
I know Aquarius has a tendency of running away when things start getting serious and with all the stuff he’s had going on, i just think he feels overwhelmed. I still also feel like his parents are playing a heavy role. The thing about cam, he won’t tell me things over text, only in person. Like with his friends mom, i just thought he was helping his friend out and it wasn’t until i saw him that i found out it was to say his last goodbye.
When he comes over, I’m not sure how to act. I want him to come inside but i don’t want to push him too hard. I know once we’re in person, he’ll most likely open up. I think the no communication until then is a good idea but it’s the seeing him in person that i don’t know how to approach. Is this just him pushing away because he stressed? What is my best course of action right now. I just don’t believe this is a case of losing feelings, this is something deeper than that.

i feel lonely and confused, my best friend along with some guy we met a couple weeks ago in some bar came over last night with some alcohol. Pretty much forced me to drink large amounts to "get me on the same buzz as them" and then just started grilling me with questions about what i think people and friends think about me etc etc. Apparently all my old friends have been talking behind my back about how i am undefendable and how my lack of restraint without context makes me sound like a horrible person. They think they know that I'm not that person but defending me is bad for their image and don't wish to do it again, the things that have come up to them are not even serious at all, it's dumb shit like this one hinge date being mad about me referring to someone as a "hookup" which she thought was dehumanising and instead of saying it to me, complained about it to a mutual who i have known since i was 12, the other thing is me calling some completely online person fat because she made a joke about my parents divorcing or some shit. Then they went on about how i dress like a r*tard because i wear shorts a lot. the whole thing in theory sounded so silly and unserious to me but for them it's big enough to not only intervene but also let me know that they will cut me off if they hear something again. Do I just cut these people off before i have to face a similar situation again, i just don't wanna feel like a burden.

So I (25F) just moved here like 3 years ago. This is a 7 floors building, there are approximately 20 apartments I believe and all of the neighbors are like really close to each other and know each other for decades and most of them are older than 40 fsr and had always lived here. I first move in with my former fiancé (27M), he is an extrovert and introduced himself to the other neighbors that same day. He is a physician assistant student and he immediately made some friends like a doctor from the 3rd floor and some nurse. When we first moved in I was going through a very bad depression episode. I was diagnosed with depression at 12, I used to handle it but at 21 I went to a traumatic experience (that actually lead me to move here from an apartment that I used to love) so when I was settling in I wasn't in the mood of meeting new neighbors or small talk so I never actually got to know them, but my ex fiancé did. I work from home so I dont usually hang around the building cause I almost never leave my apartment because of my social anxiety and my allergies to the weather of my country most of the year. My ex fiancé on the other hand was always coming and going so he met a lot of the neighbors when going to work or running errands.
So last year I was actually starting to feel kinda better and I began to leave my apartment more often to meet old friends etc. But my relationship with my fiancé was not going too well. We still loved and cared about each other but we weren't working as a couple, it got kinda platonic. We decided to end our relationship and to stop the wedding plans but we continued living together with no drama until he found a nice place to move. He decided that he would be the one who moves because the apartment was too far away from his work anyway and he didn't want me to stress out with another moving after all I went through. There was no rush from me, I wanted him to find his perfect place so he moved temporarily to the guest room and we were living peacefully almost as roommates while he kept looking for apartments. In my opinion we were even happier that way than as a couple. My mental health was improving. I started a new job, mostly from home but hybrid so I had some meetings and it involved some events I had to attend. I was going out the apartment more often and I started to run errands and go to the store almost as a normal person. I was doing my best effort. When I had to share the elevator with another neighbor they used to get really surprised by my presence. They all used to ask if I was visiting or if I was new in the building. I found rather odd the interrogations all the time but I just used to reply that I live in the 7th and that Ive been living here for 2 years now. They were at first usually shocked and then they were like oh yeah you're the physician's fiance. I never got the guts to correct them by saying I was his ex, mostly because he was still around and it just makes no sense so I would wait until he move out to do so.
But 6 months passed and my ex was no where near to move out. It was ok to me to stay as roommates and I didn't felt like it was a big deal that the neighbors believe that we were still a couple. He never corrected them either when they asked him stuff like when was gonna be the wedding. But at that time Ive just met someone at an event from work that I was really into (24M). He asked me out and we went to a few dates that were amazing. There was an awesome connection and we started dating.
We usually hang up at his place because my apartment is kinda far anyway and also I didn't knew how to tell him the situation with my ex/roommate. After 2 months dating I already knew I wanted a relationship with him, I was happier than ever I never had felt that way before, we were both so truly in love so I told him everything and he was totally fine with that and he understood that it was not uncommon for exs to live together for a while until one of them find somewhere to go. He didn't knew that almost 9 months had passed tho.
On the other hand when I told my ex about my new bf that was coming to visit he lost it. I didn't expect him to freak out that way because he used to tell me about his crushes and his dates in that time we were living only as roommates and it was fine I already saw him like a friend amd even gave him advices with girls but he got real mad when I mention the word bf and that he was visiting anytime soon. He said how can you this to me and that he thought I was just sleeping around but he didn't expected something like that.
I immediately realized that maybe he still had some feelings for me so I tried to be as kind as possible and he started to look more seriously for places to move. My bf only came to visit whenever my ex was working all night at the hospital so we don't disturbed him and I was really careful they never crossed knowing how my ex feeling about him. The situation was really awkward and my new bf one day told me that he had very weird encounters at the halls of the buildings with neighbors asking who was him and who was he visiting. At that time I'm pretty sure that most of the neighbors thought that I was having an affair. They never liked me anyway because I was quiet because of my mental issues and they might have take the wrong impression but I was just unable to small talk. They adored my ex fiance tho so they kinda hate me now. He found a place to live and he moved out right away.
4 months had passed from that, my bf and I are so happy together and he started to work from home too so he is spending a lot of time in my place because some issues with his roommate. We aren't talking about living together yet but he comes at least 5 days at week. My sister came one weekend to visit for the first time and she heard some neighbors chatting on the elevator about me without knowing who she was. They were saying that I was cheating my fiance with a some much uglier guy that I used to have over anytime my fiance had a shift at the hospital and that he one day found out and left me. It was really disturbing to know that but I didn't wanted to get involved and I didn't really care about their opinions of me. It was awful the looks I got from them but I didn't went out too often anyway. The president of the neighbors, the doctor from the 3rd that was friends with my ex, called me on Sunday to complain about my sister's car staying to long on the garage and they didn't recognize the car and it wasn't allowed to have visitor's cars on our garage. It was actually on my spot because I don't own a car and there was literally nothing wrong with that. So I avoid confrontation and told her ok and hang up but actually I was not going to make my sister move her car at night it was ridiculous and she was leaving early in the morning anyway. But I didn't had the courage to reply her what I actually thought because of my social anxiety. So when the doctor left in the morning the car was still there because my sister decided to stay until 10am to avoid traffic and I told her it was fine because she has every right to have her car on my spot and it doesn't bother anyone that her car is there but the neighbor just hates me and wants to give me a bad time for no reason. I didn't expect the rest of the neighbors to support her but they convocated a meeting of neighbors only to accuse me for what I did. It was everyone against me at the meeting. It was terrifying for me and my mental health, like a public amonestation at the lobby of the building where everyone got together to complain about me. I tried to defend myself without crying about that there's no rule against the visitor's car on the owner spot. But they said they didn't care, it was just disrespectful to tell the president on the phone that I was moving the car and then just don't move it. I can't stress enough that all of the neighbors are older than 40, at least the ones that were at that meeting. They started to complain that I was also rude, that I never talked to anyone not got the time to know them or to participate on the building's reunions and parties and that I had a guest over visiting too often, probably a bf, that doesn't pay rent and that they need to know his name and last name because I have to inform to the building if I'm having a new partner or roommate. Everything was surreal and I just left the meeting without saying a word. I couldn't stand it anymore. I locked in my apartment and I am trying to understand that they must hate me because of a misunderstood about me cheating my fiance but I actually felt so angry because even if that was true they had no right to do something like that. They are always rude to my new boyfriend and I have to keep living here for at least 2 years and I don't know how to do so with all this bad energy and I am scared and I haven't left my apartment today and I don't know what to do and I just can't stop crying and having no appetite and feeling like another depression episode might be coming back.

Title really.
A lot if enthusiastic, full time players who rushed the game and got into the endgame loops before most people have even got a mount have fed back issues with scaling, endgame being boring and it’s lacking punch in the endgame
Blizzard seem to be putting a lot into seasons and pushing this is a big focus - do you think it will fix a lot of the issues and keep the game alive long term?

I've been using these for a while and haven't seen many people talking about them aside from some dissapointment of them not working with Threaded Specter.
After using them for a bit I gotta say I look forward to getting a better roll on mine as I feel there is something here.
First thing is first, they do in fact work with Vanishing Step, Lethal Current, and On Your Mark, they do not work with Winter's Shroud, Threaded Specter. Using Ensnaring Slam will end the effect early.
Infinite Marksman/Gamblers is pretty good especially with the leniency in distance you now receive after the first dodge. Helps you get infinite melees or quick reloads with a lot of fun weapons (my personal favorite being Rat King). I wont dive into non Strand subclasses much as I feel they are more easier to visualize how they would perform.
Strand though has a fun loop with these boots that I feel people should be trying out. Of course Reaper, and Powerful Attraction work well and it can be fun throwing Rope Darts everywhere however I think the thing that sets these boots apart from its competition in the Strand subclass itself is if you actually run both Ensnaring Slam and Threaded Specter at the same time.
On paper it doesn't sound great since Threaded Specter only works on the first dodge and Ensnaring Slam breaks Multi dodge. You may even think Sixth Coyote could probably do it better which is fair depending on the use case. However the big things these boots have going for them with both aspects is the fact that you can actually get both Threaded Specter and Ensnaring Slam off a single dodge charge. This in theory is more efficient than Sixth Coyote where you have to use both charges to get both effects at once and if you make decoys you lose the ability to Suspend to get your Dodge back with Thread of Mind. The tradeoff is you gotta be closer when you use your Decoy so you can follow up with the Slam.
The loop is simple. Just dodge first to create your decoy, continue with a Reaper fueled killing spree if you wish and then when you are at the last group of enemies close to you, proceed to use Ensnaring Slam to finish off Multi Dodge so you can start charging Dodge energy again. Throw in Thread of Mind for when you clean up that last group and you can get your full dodge back pretty quickly to do it again. Because you did that off 1 dodge you should be able to get more Decoys and Dives combined than Sixth Coyote. The Decoys will draw attention of more distant enemies while the Dive will take care of the ones closer to you.
Ideally the way to use this loop would be to run both Thread of Mind and Utility Kickstart so you can get your dodge back much faster after just a couple of enemies in the slam. Using Ensnaring Slam on its own has shown me that it should work well in theory especially with how much Armor Charge you can using these boots so you could in a ideal situation run the following:
​

• Powerful Attraction/Utility Kickstart/Reaper on Class Item
• Thread of Mind Fragment (Thread of Warding would also be very useful for the DR)

However there is an issue concerning Utility Kickstart that is working against these boots I want to bring up in hopes it can get some exposure so it maybe can be fixed.
For starters when you use your first dodge, even if it procs Multi Dodge it will still consume your Armor Charge. This feels pretty bad and I hope its a bug since Grapple doesn't proc Grenade Kickstart anymore when you use it on Tangles.
The next thing which really hurts it is when you end Multi Dodge early by using Ensnaring Slam it does not proc Utility Kickstart. This definitely seems like a bug for 2 reasons. For starters when you let Multi Dodge time out normally it does proc Utility Kickstart. The next is using Ensnaring Slam on its own with Utility Kickstart also does in fact refund some dodge energy.
In the end I am enjoying the changes to these boots and am having a lot of fun using them with Strand. I really hope the Utility Kickstart problems are not intentional and get fixed as I feel that little extra dodge energy will help this build a lot for those times Thread of Mind on its own isn't enough to continue the loop as quickly so I can leave some enemies alive after the Slam and use them to proc Multi Dodge again before moving to the next group of enemies.

Yesterday I was 100% sure I was going to die of litchi poisoning, and feeling very anxious, today I feel depressed I did not die. I'm tired of alternating between anxiety and depression.
I am so lazy and useless, I can't even tell you. I have a bucket full of clothes I need to wash, and I guess I won't be shampooing my hair today because it's too late for that.
I never do chores. I skipped class today because I didn't want to walk a kilometer in 38 Celsius to reach class. It's not right. Think about it.
I've been thinking about life every single day coming to various conclusions which have within them a motivating factor - I get a surge of energy whenever one thought comes to a firm conclusion about the nature of reality, and ends on a very optimistic note.
The first one was that the ego does not exist. I do not exist, and I never will. My entire sense of self derived from being different from others in some way - to be precise, being better than them. I am no longer the best at what I do, in fact, I'm quite a failure.
I tried lots of things, like chess, singing, guitar, sport - failed everywhere, everything. Fact is, I simply do not exist. I'm just a cog in the machine and my purpose is to help run this machine. So I thought I should do something which is in demand, help society in my own little way by researching the - market?
Now, I am still ambitious, which means I lust after money and resources. I want to work as a quant, but what I want to work on is right now, not very absolute. But it will probably be something related to AI/ML. I'm honestly terrified of this subject. I think I can learn it, but given how things are playing out these days, I have lost all faith in my abilities to do a thing.
I have failed so much, I think, failure is what I expect in every domain. Salaries for quant are too high, if I succeed at that kind of thing, I'd no longer be a failure, but then since I am a failure, I can't expect to succeed at it.
Somehow, I am angry on the inside. I want to come out at the top still, but I still curse myself because I'm a failure. I understand 0% of my lecturers - I can't understand anything unless I spent 3 hrs reading about it in a book, but I don't really have the time or patience for it. I never could learn from others. I am a slow learner, who needs many examples.
Depression makes it very difficult, you can't do anything if you don't believe in yourself. I've started having lots of troubles focusing. I used to be able to sit long hours studying. Quite a big deal, but even then - I wasn't super efficient. Still. I want my past self back, the version who had some self esteem left and had high hopes.
Thing is, I'm very sad, because really - even now, I must have read more books than anyone I know, but I'm still failing harder than them. Everyone had very high hopes from me because of this reason, my mother (she has her own problems) expected something genius of me. I've let them all down. There was no point to reading those books.

Truth be told, I am closeted for one too many reasons. I known who I was since high school, I am now close to 24 years old and with every year I turn since I was 16, I look back and wish I had the courage to take the step many had taken before me but I just can’t and I don’t think I ever will, and it’s sad.
Many of my reasons are out of selfishness, but selfishness is a strong emotion. The biggest one is biological children, with many children needing of a loving family I feel a sort of guilt for wanting this, and withholding my transition because of it, I know that cryopreservation is possible and I could look into it for prices but I don’t know how expensive it could be over time.
Another reason is my status, as a person of foreign origins in the country I live. I am not fully safe from being deported to my country of origin which trans people aren’t well receive.
Family is a big one too, I have thoughts of transitioning in secret, not tell anyone but I guess that in a year or two some big changes to my physical appearance can be a tell. My dad remarried, and within his new wife extend family, there is someone who is openly trans, and I interact almost weekly with them and nobody seems to respect their new name or even pronouns. In my mom’s side everyone is some form of Christian and since my culture is very family focus I interact with my cousins in a regular and are like brothers and sisters to me, some of them are open minded while a few would make a big deal out of it, and losing them can be hard.
I catch myself buying clothes, and looking at the other sections wishing I had the body to buy those clothes, imagining myself wearing them and thinking there is a version of me in the multiverse that was born in the right body and is living my dreams. If shopping in group, I just suggest to my friends the clothes I want, so they buy it instead, feeling jealousy of them, which is honestly so fuck up of me but I can’t help it.
And in the topic of friends, honestly I only have 1 real good friend and she is open minded asf so I know if I came out she would have question, potentially be taken out but I know she would come around it. I have drop a lot of hints, sending them transition videos of people.
I’m also don’t like my body now, and I don’t think hormones alone will change alot of the aspects that I don’t like, and high key I’m broke and surgeries are expensive specially some with my living conditions.
I’m thinking this year might be it, I want to take the step but it’s a long one, and while I want to just jump into it, at the same time there is all this holding me back. Like a dog tied to a tree, I can walk freely within my allow perimeter but once I try to go farther, I just get yeet back, to the allowed zone.

So I (25F) just moved here like 3 years ago. This is a 7 floors building, there are approximately 20 apartments I believe and all of the neighbors are like really close to each other and know each other for decades and most of them are older than 40 fsr and had always lived here. I first move in with my former fiancé (27M), he is an extrovert and introduced himself to the other neighbors that same day. He is a physician assistant student and he immediately made some friends like a doctor from the 3rd floor and some nurse. When we first moved in I was going through a very bad depression episode. I was diagnosed with depression at 12, I used to handle it but at 21 I went to a traumatic experience (that actually lead me to move here from an apartment that I used to love) so when I was settling in I wasn't in the mood of meeting new neighbors or small talk so I never actually got to know them, but my ex fiancé did. I work from home so I dont usually hang around the building cause I almost never leave my apartment because of my social anxiety and my allergies to the weather of my country most of the year. My ex fiancé on the other hand was always coming and going so he met a lot of the neighbors when going to work or running errands.
So last year I was actually starting to feel kinda better and I began to leave my apartment more often to meet old friends etc. But my relationship with my fiancé was not going too well. We still loved and cared about each other but we weren't working as a couple, it got kinda platonic. We decided to end our relationship and to stop the wedding plans but we continued living together with no drama until he found a nice place to move. He decided that he would be the one who moves because the apartment was too far away from his work anyway and he didn't want me to stress out with another moving after all I went through. There was no rush from me, I wanted him to find his perfect place so he moved temporarily to the guest room and we were living peacefully almost as roommates while he kept looking for apartments. In my opinion we were even happier that way than as a couple. My mental health was improving. I started a new job, mostly from home but hybrid so I had some meetings and it involved some events I had to attend. I was going out the apartment more often and I started to run errands and go to the store almost as a normal person. I was doing my best effort. When I had to share the elevator with another neighbor they used to get really surprised by my presence. They all used to ask if I was visiting or if I was new in the building. I found rather odd the interrogations all the time but I just used to reply that I live in the 7th and that Ive been living here for 2 years now. They were at first usually shocked and then they were like oh yeah you're the physician's fiance. I never got the guts to correct them by saying I was his ex, mostly because he was still around and it just makes no sense so I would wait until he move out to do so.
But 6 months passed and my ex was no where near to move out. It was ok to me to stay as roommates and I didn't felt like it was a big deal that the neighbors believe that we were still a couple. He never corrected them either when they asked him stuff like when was gonna be the wedding. But at that time Ive just met someone at an event from work that I was really into (24M). He asked me out and we went to a few dates that were amazing. There was an awesome connection and we started dating.
We usually hang up at his place because my apartment is kinda far anyway and also I didn't knew how to tell him the situation with my ex/roommate. After 2 months dating I already knew I wanted a relationship with him, I was happier than ever I never had felt that way before, we were both so truly in love so I told him everything and he was totally fine with that and he understood that it was not uncommon for exs to live together for a while until one of them find somewhere to go. He didn't knew that almost 9 months had passed tho.
On the other hand when I told my ex about my new bf that was coming to visit he lost it. I didn't expect him to freak out that way because he used to tell me about his crushes and his dates in that time we were living only as roommates and it was fine I already saw him like a friend amd even gave him advices with girls but he got real mad when I mention the word bf and that he was visiting anytime soon. He said how can you this to me and that he thought I was just sleeping around but he didn't expected something like that.
I immediately realized that maybe he still had some feelings for me so I tried to be as kind as possible and he started to look more seriously for places to move. My bf only came to visit whenever my ex was working all night at the hospital so we don't disturbed him and I was really careful they never crossed knowing how my ex feeling about him. The situation was really awkward and my new bf one day told me that he had very weird encounters at the halls of the buildings with neighbors asking who was him and who was he visiting. At that time I'm pretty sure that most of the neighbors thought that I was having an affair. They never liked me anyway because I was quiet because of my mental issues and they might have take the wrong impression but I was just unable to small talk. They adored my ex fiance tho so they kinda hate me now. He found a place to live and he moved out right away.
4 months had passed from that, my bf and I are so happy together and he started to work from home too so he is spending a lot of time in my place because some issues with his roommate. We aren't talking about living together yet but he comes at least 5 days at week. My sister came one weekend to visit for the first time and she heard some neighbors chatting on the elevator about me without knowing who she was. They were saying that I was cheating my fiance with a some much uglier guy that I used to have over anytime my fiance had a shift at the hospital and that he one day found out and left me. It was really disturbing to know that but I didn't wanted to get involved and I didn't really care about their opinions of me. It was awful the looks I got from them but I didn't went out too often anyway. The president of the neighbors, the doctor from the 3rd that was friends with my ex, called me on Sunday to complain about my sister's car staying to long on the garage and they didn't recognize the car and it wasn't allowed to have visitor's cars on our garage. It was actually on my spot because I don't own a car and there was literally nothing wrong with that. So I avoid confrontation and told her ok and hang up but actually I was not going to make my sister move her car at night it was ridiculous and she was leaving early in the morning anyway. But I didn't had the courage to reply her what I actually thought because of my social anxiety. So when the doctor left in the morning the car was still there because my sister decided to stay until 10am to avoid traffic and I told her it was fine because she has every right to have her car on my spot and it doesn't bother anyone that her car is there but the neighbor just hates me and wants to give me a bad time for no reason. I didn't expect the rest of the neighbors to support her but they convocated a meeting of neighbors only to accuse me for what I did. It was everyone against me at the meeting. It was terrifying for me and my mental health, like a public amonestation at the lobby of the building where everyone got together to complain about me. I tried to defend myself without crying about that there's no rule against the visitor's car on the owner spot. But they said they didn't care, it was just disrespectful to tell the president on the phone that I was moving the car and then just don't move it. I can't stress enough that all of the neighbors are older than 40, at least the ones that were at that meeting. They started to complain that I was also rude, that I never talked to anyone not got the time to know them or to participate on the building's reunions and parties and that I had a guest over visiting too often, probably a bf, that doesn't pay rent and that they need to know his name and last name because I have to inform to the building if I'm having a new partner or roommate. Everything was surreal and I just left the meeting without saying a word. I couldn't stand it anymore. I locked in my apartment and I am trying to understand that they must hate me because of a misunderstood about me cheating my fiance but I actually felt so angry because even if that was true they had no right to do something like that. They are always rude to my new boyfriend and I have to keep living here for at least 2 years and I don't know how to do so with all this bad energy and I am scared and I haven't left my apartment today and I don't know what to do and I just can't stop crying and having no appetite and feeling like another depression episode might be coming back.

if she sees this, it'll be a very awkward situation, but here goes.
i met this girl, alexandra, in a college debate tournament at upenn in the middle of february. for reference, i go to harvard and she goes to princeton. she was very good at debate. i was not. thanks to an odd series of unexpected wins for me and my partner, we got matched up against each other.
we were trolling, and so my partner spouted some bullshit about how the judge should vote for us because we were immigrants, even if we debated worse (i'm indian; alexandra is italian-american, a la tony soprano). somehow, the judge bought it, and we won, even though we debated the actual topic worse. i emailed her afterwards to gloat, one thing led to another, and we ended up talking all night (we knocked her out of the tournament; we got knocked out ourselves two rounds later). she complained about the shitty judge and how much she hated people like us who "made a joke of debate". we sent 42 emails that night.
after the tournament ended, we kept talking on email (about debate). eventually, i asked her for her snap (she was also, may i add, gorgeous). we added each other. we continued our conversation from email, at first, but eventually the long paragraph-style responses turned into just normal talking and snapping. she wasn't a big part of my life at this point, though; just another girl who was cute and interesting to talk to. i learned some stuff about her -- she's crazy smart, but has pretty basic music taste, but she's solid at dancing; i also learned all about her family and that kinda shit. the normal 'getting to know you' phase.
i think the kicker came during spring break (march 9th, around half a month after the tournament). i went back home to india for the break. while i was jetlagged and up at 4am, i ended up talking to her every night. those conversations made me fall head-over-heels in love with her. i don't really know how it happened, it just kind of did; at some point, all the love songs suddenly became about her. i had dated girls before, but i don't think i've ever loved a girl until her.we talked about our futures, and what we wanted to do and be, and just 2am deep conversation type stuff; in other words, it was a much more intimate friendship than before. we had the red heart on snap and everything.
i will note, however, that, while talking to her was great, around this time it went from a 50-50 balance to me starting around 70-80% of conversations. that made me anxious; as i fell more in love, and the prospect of being with her became more tantalizing, i became more and more preoccupied with each conversation, playing it over and over again in my head. vacation also messed with my head; i had hours with nothing to do, and i filled them in no small measure with thoughts, dreams of her.
i also used to flirt with her a lot over break. she always took it in stride; sometimes she flirted back, sometimes not so much. she used to talk a good amount about her exes though, and also about how cute she thought she looked.
it's so hard to tell how much of this was reciprocated, because she was honestly a pretty closed person. she's not very communicative about her emotions, about what she really thinks; i often had to cut through a dense layer of sarcasm to get to her real meaning.
but, at some point, things came to a head. i asked her to call me once; she responded by saying, "coffee?". like an absolute moron, i replied "i'm not a coffee guy personally." i didn't even realize she was asking me out to coffee -- i thought
she was asking whether i liked coffee or not. she screenshotted that, which tipped me off; but by then, it was too late.
a couple days later, then, i asked her out on a date myself. she did not reply to me for a day and a half. then, she said, "sorry i was really busy with work!"
i reply, "lol np i thought i scared u off"
"LMFAO no. fw the blouse? "
what the fuck? (she never replied to the date thing by saying either yes or no).
after that, i lay low for a while. just casual flirting, nothing crazy. im still madly in love.
you know what, i'll skip all the details of the next two months.
basically, we grow closer as friends, but then some other guy asks her out on a date. she doesn't respond. he keeps texting her for a week; she declines in the end. but this dude triggers my own insecurity about her. my own clinginess comes back with a vengeance, and i basically start spamming her hoping she'd reply. eventually, things blow up on the day before her birthday; i keep chatting her, she doesn't reply. i became super frustrated and text her phone number (which she gave me).
she asks why i felt the need to text her even after she didn't reply. i'll admit i lied here -- i said i texted her for some work-related stuff, in order to save face. she called me on the bullshit. i doubled down and then asked her how she knew i was the one who texted her (i gave her my number at some point, but i didn't remember it then). in response, she said she "couldn't deal with this" and unadded me on snapchat. i then texted her saying, "I get if u don’t want to talk but i like being friends w u and i don’t want to lose that."
she blocks me. then, as a last resort, i send this email:
dear alexandra,
i promise that this is my last time ever talking to you. i just wanted to say the things that i always left unsaid.first of all, just about our last conversation: yes, i was lying. i know i shouldn't have. i texted you because you weren't replying. i didn't realize you had my number. im sorry.
​
im practically asking for you to be mad at me. i know that. if i could take it back, i would, but i cant. and now you're gone for good.
​
you're one of the most amazing people i've ever known in literally every way. the most, probably. i still can't name something you're bad at (besides singing, in your own words). i know i joked a lot, with the 😍 emoji, about how 'perfect' you were, but every time i sent something sarcastic, i was basically just hiding a sincere compliment behind a joke. i meant everything i said. you really are perfect. i literally woke up every day and felt lucky just to know you. i used to smile every time i got a notification from you, for god's sake. it's funny how you can become so attached to someone you only met three months ago. but i guess that when the someone is you, it's hard to not.
​
and now i threw it all away because of my stupidity and inability to shut up. in a way, i guess it was bound to happen. where would we have been three months from now? six? an year? we wouldn't have been friends forever. well, i guess i'll never know what good times we could have had, because i threw any chance of ever talking to you again out the window.
​
you know, if the roles were flipped, i don't think you'd care half as much as i do. but i guess that's because you're at least twice as good as i am in every way. so don't read this and laugh, because i know i don't mean as much to you as you do to me, and i probably sound a little scary rn.
​
if there is any, any!, chance that you don't totally hate me and would want to talk, i'll probably be spending all of tomorrow waiting for any notification from you. probably most of monday too.
​
but if not, i know that someday you'll become someone brilliant and famous and i'll see you on TV one day, and i just hope that you'll remember me down the line. not as the liar who you blocked, but as the harvard guy who you had some good times with while it lasted.happy birthday. i hope you have a perfect day.
sincerely,
sikandar.
i get unblocked, but no actual reply. this was 20 days ago. i was drunk and sent her a joke on tiktok two days ago -- no reply, again.
i love her an unhealthy amount. i can freely admit that to myself. but if there's any chance of salvaging this situation in a way where she's still talking to me -- friend, girlfriend, whatever! -- does someone know how?
also, i really wanted to read a paper she wrote -- if nothing else, can i still ask for that?
thanks.

So I (25F) just moved here like 3 years ago. This is a 7 floors building, there are approximately 20 apartments I believe and all of the neighbors are like really close to each other and know each other for decades and most of them are older than 40 fsr and had always lived here. I first move in with my former fiancé (27M), he is an extrovert and introduced himself to the other neighbors that same day. He is a physician assistant student and he immediately made some friends like a doctor from the 3rd floor and some nurse. When we first moved in I was going through a very bad depression episode. I was diagnosed with depression at 12, I used to handle it but at 21 I went to a traumatic experience (that actually lead me to move here from an apartment that I used to love) so when I was settling in I wasn't in the mood of meeting new neighbors or small talk so I never actually got to know them, but my ex fiancé did. I work from home so I dont usually hang around the building cause I almost never leave my apartment because of my social anxiety and my allergies to the weather of my country most of the year. My ex fiancé on the other hand was always coming and going so he met a lot of the neighbors when going to work or running errands.
So last year I was actually starting to feel kinda better and I began to leave my apartment more often to meet old friends etc. But my relationship with my fiancé was not going too well. We still loved and cared about each other but we weren't working as a couple, it got kinda platonic. We decided to end our relationship and to stop the wedding plans but we continued living together with no drama until he found a nice place to move. He decided that he would be the one who moves because the apartment was too far away from his work anyway and he didn't want me to stress out with another moving after all I went through. There was no rush from me, I wanted him to find his perfect place so he moved temporarily to the guest room and we were living peacefully almost as roommates while he kept looking for apartments. In my opinion we were even happier that way than as a couple. My mental health was improving. I started a new job, mostly from home but hybrid so I had some meetings and it involved some events I had to attend. I was going out the apartment more often and I started to run errands and go to the store almost as a normal person. I was doing my best effort. When I had to share the elevator with another neighbor they used to get really surprised by my presence. They all used to ask if I was visiting or if I was new in the building. I found rather odd the interrogations all the time but I just used to reply that I live in the 7th and that Ive been living here for 2 years now. They were at first usually shocked and then they were like oh yeah you're the physician's fiance. I never got the guts to correct them by saying I was his ex, mostly because he was still around and it just makes no sense so I would wait until he move out to do so.
But 6 months passed and my ex was no where near to move out. It was ok to me to stay as roommates and I didn't felt like it was a big deal that the neighbors believe that we were still a couple. He never corrected them either when they asked him stuff like when was gonna be the wedding. But at that time Ive just met someone at an event from work that I was really into (24M). He asked me out and we went to a few dates that were amazing. There was an awesome connection and we started dating.
We usually hang up at his place because my apartment is kinda far anyway and also I didn't knew how to tell him the situation with my ex/roommate. After 2 months dating I already knew I wanted a relationship with him, I was happier than ever I never had felt that way before, we were both so truly in love so I told him everything and he was totally fine with that and he understood that it was not uncommon for exs to live together for a while until one of them find somewhere to go. He didn't knew that almost 9 months had passed tho.
On the other hand when I told my ex about my new bf that was coming to visit he lost it. I didn't expect him to freak out that way because he used to tell me about his crushes and his dates in that time we were living only as roommates and it was fine I already saw him like a friend amd even gave him advices with girls but he got real mad when I mention the word bf and that he was visiting anytime soon. He said how can you this to me and that he thought I was just sleeping around but he didn't expected something like that.
I immediately realized that maybe he still had some feelings for me so I tried to be as kind as possible and he started to look more seriously for places to move. My bf only came to visit whenever my ex was working all night at the hospital so we don't disturbed him and I was really careful they never crossed knowing how my ex feeling about him. The situation was really awkward and my new bf one day told me that he had very weird encounters at the halls of the buildings with neighbors asking who was him and who was he visiting. At that time I'm pretty sure that most of the neighbors thought that I was having an affair. They never liked me anyway because I was quiet because of my mental issues and they might have take the wrong impression but I was just unable to small talk. They adored my ex fiance tho so they kinda hate me now. He found a place to live and he moved out right away.
4 months had passed from that, my bf and I are so happy together and he started to work from home too so he is spending a lot of time in my place because some issues with his roommate. We aren't talking about living together yet but he comes at least 5 days at week. My sister came one weekend to visit for the first time and she heard some neighbors chatting on the elevator about me without knowing who she was. They were saying that I was cheating my fiance with a some much uglier guy that I used to have over anytime my fiance had a shift at the hospital and that he one day found out and left me. It was really disturbing to know that but I didn't wanted to get involved and I didn't really care about their opinions of me. It was awful the looks I got from them but I didn't went out too often anyway. The president of the neighbors, the doctor from the 3rd that was friends with my ex, called me on Sunday to complain about my sister's car staying to long on the garage and they didn't recognize the car and it wasn't allowed to have visitor's cars on our garage. It was actually on my spot because I don't own a car and there was literally nothing wrong with that. So I avoid confrontation and told her ok and hang up but actually I was not going to make my sister move her car at night it was ridiculous and she was leaving early in the morning anyway. But I didn't had the courage to reply her what I actually thought because of my social anxiety. So when the doctor left in the morning the car was still there because my sister decided to stay until 10am to avoid traffic and I told her it was fine because she has every right to have her car on my spot and it doesn't bother anyone that her car is there but the neighbor just hates me and wants to give me a bad time for no reason. I didn't expect the rest of the neighbors to support her but they convocated a meeting of neighbors only to accuse me for what I did. It was everyone against me at the meeting. It was terrifying for me and my mental health, like a public amonestation at the lobby of the building where everyone got together to complain about me. I tried to defend myself without crying about that there's no rule against the visitor's car on the owner spot. But they said they didn't care, it was just disrespectful to tell the president on the phone that I was moving the car and then just don't move it. I can't stress enough that all of the neighbors are older than 40, at least the ones that were at that meeting. They started to complain that I was also rude, that I never talked to anyone not got the time to know them or to participate on the building's reunions and parties and that I had a guest over visiting too often, probably a bf, that doesn't pay rent and that they need to know his name and last name because I have to inform to the building if I'm having a new partner or roommate. Everything was surreal and I just left the meeting without saying a word. I couldn't stand it anymore. I locked in my apartment and I am trying to understand that they must hate me because of a misunderstood about me cheating my fiance but I actually felt so angry because even if that was true they had no right to do something like that. They are always rude to my new boyfriend and I have to keep living here for at least 2 years and I don't know how to do so with all this bad energy and I am scared and I haven't left my apartment today and I don't know what to do and I just can't stop crying and having no appetite and feeling like another depression episode might be coming back.

Ric Flair had his first match in Greensboro, North Carolina with the man who would later on go on to be... Big John Studd. Unexpected, really different in styles (though Flair could put on a great match with anyone) and his name was very different too, Chuck O'Connor.
I know we've seen threads like these before, but there's always new facts that you never knew about that really pique your interest, build your wrestling history knowledge or straight up blow your mind. This one's for the underrated trivia, folks.

To start off, I’m not entirely sure if this should be Hobby History or drama. I’m gonna need to give a lot of context to really explain the drama, and the drama is admittedly relatively minor. Apologies if this is an issue. I’m going to summarize the lore entries I link but I would strongly advise readers to read them both to get a better understanding but also because I just think they are some really enjoyable writing.
As the title says, this post is about the video game franchise Destiny developed by Bungie, best known as the original developers of another sci-fi FPS franchise, Halo. Bungie has always been known for their excellent talent at making fundamentally fun to play FPS games and Destiny is no exception, but this isn’t about gameplay, but instead about the story and universe of the game, specifically a bit of a conflict regarding specific characters and forces.
The Premise of the Game
Sometime in the not-so-distant future a mysterious and colossal white orb enters our solar system. Humanity dubs it The Traveler, and it’s arrival heralds an unprecedented Golden Age of peace and prosperity that lasts for centuries. However, the Traveler has enemies, a force identified only as Darkness, and those that serve it, that have pursued it across the stars and eventually arrive in Sol, bringing about the Collapse. Humanity is devastated and The Traveler is wounded. In its last conscious moments, it creates an army of small drones called Ghosts, each capable of selecting a deceased person and resurrecting them as a warrior armed with powerful abilities born of the Light. These warriors would eventually come to be known as Guardians, and with their help humanity barely survives the coming centuries and by the time of the game there is only a single safe city left on Earth.
If you’re thinking that all sounds a little vague well, you’re not alone and unfortunately there wasn’t a lot of elaboration to be found in the original version of the first Destiny. And of all the questions people asked, one of the big ones was “What is the Darkness?” What was our great enemy, the source of the downfall of the human race? And maybe most importantly, why did it do it? Like I said, not a lot of answers to be found at first, but there was…something.
The Darkness?
Vanilla Destiny
Ghost Fragment: Darkness 3 It was a Grimoire card, or a text entry you had to access via Bungie’s website out of game after finding the requisite collectible in game. It is a journal entry from the heretical Guardian Toland detailing a philosophy of survival of the fittest taken to the absolute extreme. That everything is constantly competing to even exist, and that that competition will continue to escalate until something is so good at it that it will extinguish all other competition, before they can even begin to compete, and anything that comes to exist will do so only by its consent. This concept is important, and you should remember it. If you’re thinking this piece seems like it should have more context it didn’t really have much.
Destiny: The Taken King
The next really big piece of evidence comes in the third expansion to Destiny, The Taken King, in the form of the Books of Sorrow. Part history and part holy scripture, they detail the origin of the Hive, one of the four main enemy species. A very long time ago, they were known as the Krill and struggled with short, difficult lives. When a king of the Krill was overthrown, three of his children fled and were drawn deep into the oceans of the gas giant the Krill lived on. In the depths they discovered immense worms who offered them a pact: take their offspring into their bodies and gain eternal life and great power, but they must ensure to feed their worm with conquest and slaughter or be devoured from the inside. They accepted this deal and thus the Hive were born.
The Books of Sorrow give us two main contributions to better understanding The Darkness.
First off, it gives us further elaboration on this aforementioned philosophy of extreme natural selection, and a name for it: The Sword Logic. It is the guiding principle of the worms and thus the Hive, that only that which can defend it’s existence deserves to exist, and so it is the duty of the Hive to try their best to kill everything in pursuit of whittling the universe down to a perfect state, which is now given the moniker of the Final Shape.
Secondly, Oryx, king of the Hive, speaks with something he identifies as The Darkness in XXXII: Majestic. Majestic. . It gives its own explanation of the brutal ideology of the Sword Logic and affirms why the Hive’s crusade against all life is right and required, but it interestingly takes an oddly personal and familiar tone.
Destiny 2: Shadowkeep
The next big piece of information towards The Darkness and the identity of the true antagonist of the Destiny franchise comes years later, in the fourth expansion of the sequel Destiny 2. A long wait, I know. But more than worth it for Unveiling
Unveiling’s name is no accident, it truly does lift the veil of uncertainty in many ways around The Darkness. Or at least so we thought at the time.
It’s worth noting that the in-universe source of Unveiling is communications from a Darkness aligned artifact, which will be relevant later. I promise.
Unveiling is a collection of writings allegedly from an entity referring to itself as The Winnower. It tells a creation parable of sorts, that before anything else existed there was a garden (sort of) and in that garden there was a Gardener and a Winnower, and they played a game (sort of). The game is essentially Conway’s Game of Life which to give a brief description, is a simulation where you have a set of tiles and each tile is either alive or dead. Every turn, tiles change from alive to dead or dead to alive based on the state of the other tiles adjacent to them. It’s a real thing considered a decent really simple simulation of life.
This cosmic version of it represented all of existence, and the Gardener would plant the flowers that represented life and the Winnower would cull the ones that meant to die under the rules. They played this game countless times but every time it ended in the same result: a specific, unending pattern which would always outcompete all others and dominate the game. The Gardener did not like this and considered it boring and even unfair. The Winnower disagreed, opining that it was natural and beautiful to see something succeed because it was better. When the Gardener decided to propose additions to the rules to encourage complexity, the Winnower objected strongly, and they fought. Unable to resolve this difference, the garden was destroyed and they created the real universe and entered it as players in the “game.”
The Winnower was at the time strongly believed to be The Darkness given the story it tells and the congruency of its tone and storytelling style with the entity that spoke with Oryx. However, hints of the other being that would confuse this were also present in Shadowkeep. The final cutscene of the campaign featured an unknown being, who assumed the appearance of the player character, confidently declare “We are your salvation.” . This was the first possible appearance of The Darkness as a real, voiced character actually in the video game. It was unclear but most assumed this was the Winnower here (and that the Winnower was The Darkness) and more or less ignored the odd quirk of this being referring to themselves exclusively as “we” as opposed to the Winnower’s consistent “I.” Again, it would be several years before we received more information about this, and we learned of The Voice in the Darkness.
Destiny 2: The Witch Queen
The sixth expansion of Destiny 2, it introduced the concept of The Witness, a being previously hinted to as The Voice in the Darkness, formally introduced in this cutscene that plays at the end of the campaign. Note the usage of we also present here. This is a consistent trait of The Witness and they have yet to ever use the term I. We can also note The Witness appears to have a desire to totally exterminate life.
The “Drama”
The Witness is seemingly the true main antagonist of Destiny, being established as responsible for the Collapse, the creation of the Hive, and other events. This leaves lore aficionados with a real dilemma on our hands. How does this gel with the previous depictions of The Darkness, namely The Winnower? Not only do The Witness and Winnower speak and behave differently, their fundamental ideologies even feel different. The Witness seems far less interested in the purity of competition and survival of the fittest than in outright extermination. The Winnower would never express a desire for “no more life” just for life to be forced to earn its existence.
There are three main camps of answers to this question.
First: The Winnower is not real
This position holds that Unveiling is a fiction, created and distributed by The Witness and that Darkness is in fact a thoughtless force of the universe wielded by The Witness. The flaw in this position, in my opinion, is how to reconcile this with the entity that Oryx supposedly spoke with, who behaves and speaks very differently from The Witness. It is possible that account is also fabricated as The Books of Sorrow are noted to be potentially unreliable as a pseudo religious account of events written by the leader of a deeply dogmatic society. Out of universe, it feels a little unsatisfying for such a beloved piece of lore to be not true, but there is some precedent for lore being deception from characters in the universe.
The Winnower and The Witness are the same
This position holds that the two are one and the same. Generally the inconsistencies between the two are chalked up to retcons, that over time the direction and goals of the Destiny writing team shifted. Not impossible but it does seem unlikely given the seeds of The Witness were planted at the same time The Winnower was named.
Both The Winnower and The Witness Exist
This position holds that more or less everything we have seen is true. The Winnower is The Darkness, and The Witness is a distinct entity that wields Darkness abilities for its own ends. The seeming large ideological differences can be resolved by the self-reliant nature of the Winnower’s philosophy. It believes that it’s ideology is natural and inevitable, and so it is plausible that it would simply offer power and assume that anything capable of and willing to use that power would align with its beliefs. Or alternatively, that the fact that it could do so would make whatever it believes right. Might makes right for The Winnower, more or less.
Conclusion
Well, that’s more or less it. The drama is nonspecific and technically ongoing. If you spend any time in any community devoted to discussion of Destiny lore, you will come across an argument about this topic, and there is no conclusive answer as of now. I hope you have found this interesting and informative.
Note: I wrote this entire post on Apollo (a mobile 3rd party app) so apologies if any of the formatting is weird. This app will be shutting down on the 30th due to Reddit’s crappy API changes, and you should support the upcoming blackout.