Preppy christmas wallpaper

For everything Toradora!

2012.08.12 04:06 ikadono18 For everything Toradora!

Toradora is a Japanese manga/anime series, featuring the kind but scary looking Ryuji Takasu who is in love with Kushieda Minori (Minorin), a care-free softball loving girl, who is friends with Aisaka Taiga (Tenori Taiga), a rich, tsundere that is in love with Kitamura (Takasu's best friend)

2014.05.29 21:16 IndigenousOres PAY 2 DAY

This is the official circlejerk official subreddit for the official PAYDAY Franchise by Overkill Studios.

2023.06.08 23:36 CrowsofFear Catalogue of you tube vids I am currently looking for

Miscellaneous Videos
Death At Chuck E Cheese 70's Murder Files +18 Fsp19ut76yI
Five nights at freddys Are REAL! (it is real and true...) dZLuPFt7Egk
Does chuck e cheese know five nights at Freddy's z4Oe8oahJAs
THE TRUTH BEHIND Chuck E Cheese's and 5 Nights at Freddy's YLDwLWfzOUM
Spongebob The Purge v3949UehZBM
David Near
Shadow Freddy Voice (Five Nights At Freddy's 2) I7mYQEMh3PY Partially Found
Phantom Balloon Boy Voice FNAF 3 kK1sHrvFkhM
FNAF 2 "Withered" Foxy Voice jFI16pEGqcw
Nightmare FredbeaShadow Freddy Original Voice WtVyammM9Ow
FNAF "Drawkill Bonnie" Original Voice 5QT-jOFmmLE
"Smile :)"- NoctisNeverSleeps
"1999: [Update] - 06/21/15" Creepypasta
"I know her so well..." Feelspasta
- 1999 (part 1)
-"1999" (part 4) MrCreepyPasta's Storytime
- 1999 (Part 5)
- 1999 (Part 6) (END)
Mr. Nightmare
-"Home Alone" [CreepyPasta] - nklZy3IwmhU
-"The Shadows Between Houses" By StupidDialUp - g2Az5BGGobY
- The Portraits - Creepypasta - KtsIB3dvfdc
- Last Friday - Creepypasta - qjEOQ8bWAc4
- “Chicken Bones” - by Steven Shorter - 5jwbaqI2Xqw
- Nuclear Meltdown - ocjHdXjlzss
-A Grain of Sand - fUtjSW65AFM
-"Christmas Tree Decorations" - Unknown Author - 9V0eVqXZcY8
-What happened to "Mr. Nightmare"? FOUND
-100,000 Subscribers - Thank You! - FbYIjdFFgOA
-Little Pink Backpack - Creepypasta - 1AgXuziegHs
-24 Creepy Discoveries People Just Stumbled Into
- 10 Most Disturbing TV Commercials - _Ap6N94LT98
Jessica Meszaros/SpectrumDiamond
-Creepypasta - Ed, Edd n Eddy (Lost Episode) okZRbCKJJwk
-Creepypasta - Bully: Scholarship Edition (Removed Mission) Fw9dpxgEogo
Creepypasta - The Golden Girls (Lost Episode) Z8vLHhOXwrQ
Creepypasta - Scooby Doo (Lost Episode) JexJSqVVoew
Children's Song - Kagome, Kagome _33Lsbn-9G4
Dilantra Peebles/Wolf Killer
Five nights at freddys Are REAL! (it is real and true...)
Five Nights at Freddy's 2 song backup part 3 and 4 (for TJ animations)
If they knew.... your pain.... (Bullies)
"If they knew" The grey cat's pain (request)
Happy birth Day Zack (Present)
Gambling man (Thank you for 19,000+ SUUUBS)
Open Up animation *Really sad* FNAFS (THANK YOU FOR 20,000+ SUBS)
questions and answers (part 3) *best ending lol*
Awoken oc Map Part 34 and 35 (MoonrisePaintpawz)
Awoken OC Map Part 25 (Ren jirra)
Welcome To Freddy's Map Part 7 (TJ Animations)
Welcome To Freddy's Map Part 22 (TJ Animations)
Mangle The Stalker *she knows all, foxy* (THANK YOU FOR 21,000+ SUBS)
How foxy likes to run to the office (funny vine)
Jar of Hearts Warriors Map Part 5 and 6 (LilypadLils)\_uE6r1hvg
We Are Family Fnafs 1 and 2 (speedpaint)
F-freddy.... fazbear? (Five nights at freddys!!!)
Update (read the description)
Just Gold Animation The madness (THANK YOU FOR 23,000+ SUBS)
HAPPY BIRTH DAY RENEE : D (best friend. Video, Monster)
Youth Oc Map Part 9 (kaybzjess)
This Is For My People Who Lost Somebody (Your not alone)
*Collabs* Five nights at freddys 3 (THANK YOU FOR 24,000+ SUBS)\_PxQ
All Men Are Pigs OC Map Part 2 (Makbrok mtizzle)
Contest OPEN (my Contest)
Have a Snicker Foxy, your never yourself when your hungry (FNAFS 1)
How Toy Chica Changes Her Mood At Certain Times (FNAFS)
livesteaming (Thank you for 25,000+ subs)
Reading Mean Comments (only 2, random video)
Contest Winners (Top 10)
Secrets *Animation* (THANK YOU FOR 26,000+ SUBS!)
The Show Must Go On (Map part 6, HTF OC AMBER)
Five Nights At Freddy's Song Map Part 3 (Pastel Cat)
ooh whats this? (My Birth Day is Coming up)
Lullabye-bye *collabs* (HTF OC AMBER, So he sang)
Lullaby-bye Collab *Complete* (So he sang)
Thank you for 27000 subs!! (Purple guy is a murder)
i Am The Purple guy! Map Part 9 (Ring Ring)
i Am The Purple Guy! Map Part 22 and 23 (Ring ring)
Do you care About me? (Depression)
i Am The Purple Guy! Map part 25 (Ring ring)
I Am Purple Guy Map Part 27 (Ring Ring)
PLEASE GO SUPPORT HER!! (my best friend)
How Do You Feel About That Cone On Your Head, Foxy? (THANK U FOR 28,000+ SUBS)
The request of Finding Jeff the killer (ThumbNail)
Its Time To Die Map Part 25 (insanedvo)
Happy Birth Day To Meee (yay)\_0
Balloons Sad Animation *The good ending* FNAFS (THANK YOU FOR 29.000+ SUBS)
Toy bonnie (Random, creepy)
Security guard comics (My comics) *FNAFS Security guards*
Horn battle *Foxy VS Purple guy* (Funny vine, HAPPY EASTER)
The Bite of 87 *A sad tale* (THANK YOU FOR 30.000+ SUBS!!!!)
Animation thief(s) (Please Read description)
Look At Me Now
Am I The Only One Who Does This.... (THANK YOU FOR 31,000+ SUBS)\_BZvLU
Mangles Radio static (Happy birthday Mangle brinton)
Purple guy's Death (Animated *Realistic sound*)
eeeeeeey mario :D *SpringTrap and Marionette* (Thank you for 32,000+ SUBS)\_oRnPM
Best Hater Ever.... (Really bad hater *Warning, mad wolf* )\_\_nbcaI
More Hate (Responded badly XD)
Talk Foxy To Me (Five nights at freddys)
i'm leaving (haters)
Guess Who's Back?\_g
Five Nights At Freddys Harlem Shake (33,000+ specials)
Wolf's Intro (34,000+ specials)
Go Save Smilk *Need your support* (35,000 specials/ Update)
Little Things About you (36,000+ Specials)
Look How Wolf Died XD (Funny vine)
Eeey Look how Chica Died XXD (Funny vine)
Flesh Five nights at freddys *Map Part 8 and 9* (makbrok mtizzle)\_Hq-Asc
When your home all alone and someone knocks at your door (38,000 specials)
My Reaction To Roaches (Funny)
Sausage *Map Part 10 and 11* (JordanTheBlueAnimatr­onicDevil)
Sausage! OC Map *OPEN*
i Have A Deviant Art ya know? (Random)\_hnUB\_KfmWQ
Daddy Whats A Twerk? (39,000 Specials)
If You Want A Burger.... (40,000 Specials!)
Omega Always Loves Arrow (Funny video)
Orphan Tears *Short* Cray AVM~ (41,000 Specials)\_W7xQ
I Can Animate~ (Review)
Throw Tha CHEESE (42,000 Specials)
Sad Suicide Song *animated* (Depression)
1... 2. Crays is Coming For You (43,000 specials)
Renees got a sick obsession (MEME)
Die In A Fire *Animation* (48,000 specials)
*"The Sandman" (Creepypasta)
*"Be Careful Whose Messes You Clean Up" (Creepypasta)
*"Mrs. Willison's Homemade Jam" (Creepypasta)
*Corey's Wish
*The New Fish
*Why i was Released from Prison
*Mickey's House of Pain
*I Was a Freelance Exorcist
*The Contract
*Starving Dogs
*Living in Hell
*The Girl in the Crowd
*The Shredder Monkey
*"Broodmother" (Creepypasta) Ft. EerieCheshir
*The Other Internet
*"Black Number One" (Creepypasta)
*The Pit
*Slaying the Beast (something like that, about someone killing their dad)
*At Least You Tried
*Some story about a guy named Greg who's wife hired a psycho to kill him for cheating on him (don't remember the name)
*One More For the Orphan
*Some story about a haunted TV broadcast (don't recall the name, "The Ozark Cable Incident" it may have been)
*The Pleasure House
*The Quiet Room
*Pain Study (something like that)
*My Parents were Satanists (something like that)
*Mr. Banana
*The Dog Man
*Mayhem Mountain
*The Pancake Family
"The Yellow Wallpaper" (Creepypasta) M3vEPbJ9V2Q
"The Ozark Cable Incident" (Creepypasta) pclUTiUDVLc


LOST EPISODES - "Plankton Got Served" zBhEQ9uU59s
"'Arther: Lost Episode' (SH*TPASTAS)"
"Red Moon"
submitted by CrowsofFear to DHExchange [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 16:15 igorcarbex16 Bully Soundtrack References & Similarities in Details...
Hello Bully it's me again, The Bully soundtrack composed by the genius Shawn Lee is pretty rad, so as a music enthusiastic, i want to share this post for people really obsessed with the Bully songs like me, tried to include every song in the game like as puzzle pieces getting together with the greatest amount, most accurate and similar as possible in one sitting, with some help around the internet, personal discoveries and songs already mentioned for yourselves so thank you nonetheless, and sorry for the repetition. Unfortunately some will still be missing so "a little help"/hits for these unreferenced sounds are very welcome.
Some songs are pretty obvious but others looks well hidden, but that's the fun of it, not every song is a sample, they just sound alike or has interpolations.
I know it would be boring to reading all of this so also dedicated this YouTube playlist in details for, so that you can check thoroughly for a more accurate comparison: 😎👍 - Have Fun!
★ Main Storyline
·Welcome to Bullworth (Menu theme): Suspiria Theme - Goblin
·This Is Your School: The Duck - Shawn Lee
·The Setup/Bait/The Gym is Burning: Organ Donor - DJ Shadow
·Slingshot/Revenge on Mr. Burton "Part 3" (Fun): My Sweet Lord - George Harrionson the ex-Beatles & Billy Preston
·Save Algie: Love My Way - Psychedelic Furs
·Defend Bucky/The Eggs/Weed KilleStronghold Assault (Action): Shake, Shake, Shake - KC & The Sunshine Band, A Little Less Conversation - Elvis Presley, Hocus Pocus - Focus
·That B****/The Diary/Jealous Johnny/Paparazzi: This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - Talking Heads
·The Candidate/Cook's Date: Oh Yeah - Yello
·Halloween/The Big Prank: The Chase - Shawn Lee, Burning Bridges - The Republic From The Getaway Game - Shawn Lee
·Help Gary: Cannonball - Breeders (it also reminds me the "X-Files Theme - Mark Snow" but this is overthinking)
·Character Sheets: Agent Woodrow - The Woodies
·Hattrick vs. Galloway: Cat Blues - Seatbelts (Drum Patterns)
·Movie Tickets (Sneaking On A Date): All Mine, Glory Box - both by Portished
·Carnival Date (Romance): Kiss The Sky - Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra (also features in "Tales from the Bordelands Episode 2")
·Prep Challenge/Boxing Challenge: Drums on Phasing - Joe Ufer (Sample)
·Race the Vale/Lola's Race: Casio VL-1 Tone (Sampler) *a lot of songs use this instrument for samples, for Bully this is predominant in bike races, it also reminds the iconic song "Funkytown - Lipps inc."
·Beach Rumble: Tenebre 12 mix - Claudio Simonetti
·Tad's House: Billie Jean (Bass Only) - Michael Jackson
·Tagging/Making a Mark (Wildstyle): Chic - Good Times
·Wrong Part of Town/Busting In, Part I: Prog Punk, Psyche Drums (*After The Release!) - Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra
·The Tenements/Norton Boss Fight: Human Fly - Cramps, I Wanna Be Your Dog - Iggy Pop & the Stooges
·The Rumble/Defender of the Castle (Epic Confrontation): Matador - X Mal Deutschland (as the "wildstyle" music many songs are similar to this, i listed the most accurate or the most fun imo, at least)
·Nerd Challenge/Consumo Arcade (Menu): Sakura, Sakura - Traditional Japanese Folk Song
·Nerd Challenge/Consumo (Main): Four Thousand Years of Chinese History - SNK Sound Team from Fatal Fury: King of Fighters Game
·Glass House/Smash It Up (Destruction/Vandalism): Rapture - Blondie, The Breaks - Kurtis Blow
·Nice Outfit: Odetta - Hit or Miss (Drum Patterns), Dig Your Own Hole - Chemical Brothers (Drum Patterns)
·The Big Game (Nerds "Agent")/Revenge on Mr. Burton "Part 2": Big Bad Wolf - Shawn Lee
·Rats in the Library: You Rock My World - Michael Jackson, Spies In The Wires - Cabaret Voltaire
·Preppies Vandalized (Punishment): D12 40 Oz. - Mr. Stan
·Busting In, Part II/Paper Route: Identity - X-Ray Spec, Mongoloid - Devo
·Showdown at the Plant (Overture): "Saracens Theme" - The Warriors Game
·Complete Mayhem (Street Fight): Criminal - Fiona Apple (also resembles "All Caps - Madvillain-Madvillainy or MF Doom" and "Intermezzo 2 - Mr. chop" but this was released in 2009)
·School's Out (End Credits): Walk On The Wild Side (Bass and Rhythm Pattern) - Lou Reed by Velvet Underground
\Christmas is Here, Small Offences, Discreet Deliveries, The Collector, Mailbox Armageddon and Go See The Principal doesn't feature a unique theme or has any song.*
★ Miscellaneous, Ambience & Shop themes
·Chase Prefect and Police: The Shaft intro and end themes - Isaac Hayes, Beat Dis (12 Version) - Bomb The Bass
·Chase Adults/A Little Help: Take California - Propellerheads, Secret Agent - Bjorn Lynne
·Detention/Mowing Laws - Unused track from The Warrior Game (it doesn't have an actual name, sorry)
·Bike Race 1: Casio VL-1 Tone (Sampler)
·Bike Race 2: Sonic CD Game - Wacky Workbench Zone - Bad Future
·Kart Race (Main) or "Lowrider": You Baby - The Turtles
·Kart Race (Beta): Baba Hya - Lafayette Afro Rock Band
·General Store "Yum Yum Market": Cover Girl - Gabriele Ducros
·Hair Saloon (Poor) "The Final Cut": Punky Dragster - Tele Music
·Hair Saloon (Rich) "Old Bullworth Vale": Dance Feeling - Tele Music
·Clothing Store (Poor) "Worn In Used Clothing": Disco Revisited - Tele Music
·Clothing Store (Rich) "Aquaberry Outlet" (*After The Release!): Now That Is Jazz - Charlie's Bistro Ensemble
·Janitor's Room: Lonesome Heart Swing - Dennis Caplinger
·Carnival Ambience "Billy Crane's Traveling Carnival": Golden Brown - Stranglers
·Box Club Ambience "Glass Jaw Boxing Club": Icy Nation - Tele Music
·Preppie's Hideout Beach "Lighthouse" (*After The Release!): With My Maker I Am One - Chill Coffehouse Drip
·Dragon's Wing Comic Store (*After The Release!): Daniel Loves Singing - C. Allocco
·Nerd's Hideout "Dragon's Wing Comic Store" (Under): Soaring Song - Tele Music
·Jock's Hideout "Jock's Clubhouse": Grand Theft Auto (Song) - Craig Conner
·Monkey Fling (Menu): it reresemble Super Mario World Overworld theme
·Future Street Racer (Main): The Doom - Shadow The Hedgehog 2005 Game
★ Xmas Themes
Holiday themes features various artists, this list is based on the ones made by Shawn lee itself for his album "A Very Ping Pong Christmas: Funky Treats form Santa's Bag", The original composers is on the song description.
·Balls of Snow: Carol of the Bells - Mykola Leontovych
·Miracle on Bullworth St.: Jingle Bells - James Lord Pierpont
·Rudy the Red Nosed Santa: O Come All Ye Faithful (Adeste Fideles) - John Francis Wade & Frederick Oakeley
·Nutcrackin': Deck The Halls - Thomas Oliphant, Little Dummer Boy - Katherine Kennicott Davis, Harry Simeone & Henry Onorati
·Bike Shop (Xmas) "Shiny Bikes": Let it Snow! - Gary Hoey (Dean Martin is the original composer) (Most famous by Frank Sinatra)
·Clothing Store (Poor) (Xmas) "Worn In"/Clothing Store (Rich) (Xmas) "Aquaberry": Jingle Bells (Dan The Automator) - Dean Martin, *the Aquaberry outlet uses a different tone in jazz
·Janitor's Room (Xmas)/Hair Saloon (Poor)(Xmas) "The Final Cut": Up On The House Top (Ho, Ho, Ho) - Gene Autry
·Dragon's Wing Comic Store (Xmas)/Hair Saloon (Rich)(Xmas)"Old Bullworth Vale": We Wish You a Merry Christmas - Traditional English (Britain) Folk Song
·Xmas Tree: Dance Of The Sugar-Plum Fairy - Piotr Ilitch Tchaikovski
\The General Store "Yum Yum Market" reuses a song collage of various themes as Deck the Halls, We Wish You a Merry Christmas and Jingle Bells in that order on looping.*
★ Classes
·Music classes features American Folk and American March Songs since the game takes place in USA
Class 1: Turkey In The Straw
Class 2: Masterpiece Fanfare
Class 3: She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain
Class 4: Liberty Bell March (also known as "Monty Python Theme")
Class 5: The Washington Post March (also sounds similar to "Willian Tell Act" by Charlie Chaplin)
·English Class: Piéces de Clavecin en concert; La Timide - Jean-Philippe Rameau
·Art Class: Come With the Night (Drum Patterns) - Sugar Stick (also resembles "Test Area - Broadcast" or "Serpent Magique - Tangerine Dream")
·Photography Class/BMX Park (*After The Release!): Automatic - Shawn Lee & AM (for observation, the Bike Park and Photography theme are slightly different, not the same)
·Biology: Dara Factor One - Weather Report Music, Heist in Helsinki (*After The Release!) - Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra
\Geography class uses a medley of characteristic instruments and sounds of world nations*
★ Cliques & Boss fights
·Vendetta Non-Clique: Ode To Billie Joe - Lou Donaldson
·Vendetta Bullies: Skin Therapy - Mr. Dibbs (also features in Tony Hawk's Underground 2003 Game), And on the Sixth Day - Pat Williams
·Vendetta Nerds/Stronghold Assault (Nerd Boss Fight): Casio VL-1 Tone (Sampler), Da Da Da - Trio (not only the song but the nerds cliques itself looks heavy inspired by the movie Revenge of the Nerds, some themes would also fit for Nerds in particular "Burning Down The House by Talking Heads")
·Vendetta Preppies: Billie Jean - Michael Jackson, Whip it - Devo
·Vendetta Greasers: Play For Today - The Cure, Private Idaho - B-52's, Disorder - Joy Division
·Vendetta Jocks: Amen, Brother - The Winstons, Drums Away - The Simon Song (Drums Intro), The Assembly Line - Commodores (this one use one of the most famous samples in music the "Amen Break" by Winstons as initially mentioned)
·Vendetta Dropouts/Townie Challenge: Tédio - Biquíni Cavadão, I Love Rock 'N Roll - The Arrows (Original Composers) *the guitar riff and bass pattern is extremely similar to "Pretty Fly by Offspring" but the song "Tédio" is alot older and still more accurate to the townies theme
·Russell in the Hole: Firestarter (Drum Patterns) - Prodigy, Devotion (Voice of Paradise) - Ten City
·Dishonorable Fight: Eye of the Tiger, Burning Heart - both by Survivor
·Fighting Johnny Vincent: Boogie Woodie - The Beach Boys, Caldonia Boogie - Louis Jordan (also covered by James Brown) *this song line is also referred as "The Walking Bass" featured in many Classic Rock songs
·The Big Game (Jock Boss Fight): Just Like Heaven, A Forest - The Cure, Harmonia - Dino
·Showdown at the Plant: Headhunter - Front 242, Are You Red..Y - The Clash
·Final Showdown: Underwater March - Klaus Badelt, 2001 NBA Ultimate Player (Film Score) *God of War (2018) Game also has a similar tone in "Spartan Rage" overture by Bear McCreary
★... Uncertain? ...Suggestions
·Bully Main Theme (Running Theme): Maniac - Michael Sembello, the synthesizer effect looks an interpolation of the xylophone effect used in the game.
·Overworld (Walking Theme) - The Phantom of the Opera Motion Picture Overture (this also resambles "echoes" by pink floyd but that peculiar melody is more predominant in this theme), Let's Ge Started (Bass Only) - Black Eyed Peas, it looks heavily inspired by Dario Argento movies (as the overall soundtrack).
·Here's to you Ms. Philips/Last Minute Shopping/Cook's Crush/Discretion Assured/Finding Johnny Vincent/Revenge on Mr. Burton "Part 1" (The Search): Sounds similar to "Tenant - Siouxsie And The Banshees", people often confuse this theme to "Cheating Time" but the track is named "Here's to you Ms. Philips" as does the mission, it also resembles a Giorgio Gaslini piece an italian jazz pianist or the american compositor Henry Mancini the creator of Pink Panther iconic theme.
·Panty Raid/Galloway Away/Cheating Time (Stealth): Love Theme From "The Godfather" or "Speak Softly, Love" or just The Godfather Theme from Nino Rota a renowned italian composer, written by Larry Kusik, also resembles the song "Hey by Pixies".
·Comic Klepto: Where’d You Go - Fort Minor e Jonah Matranga (interpolation), also resembles Gramatik, Transplants, Flobots or X-Ecutiornes style of song.
·Funhouse Fun/ Funhouse (Ambience): Carnival of the Animals; Introduction and Royal March of the Lion ("Marche Royale du Lions") - Camille Saint-Saëns (interpolation)
·Funhouse Graveyard "Carnival Funhouse Graveyard" (Unused/Beta): Lux Aeterna - Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet; Requiem For A Killer Movie Score
·Shop Class "Auto Repair Shop": Sounds similar to Star Guitar - Chemical Brothers, Cities in the Dust - Siouxie And The Banshees
·Math Class (Beta): Sounds similar to Nightmare on Elm Street Theme
·Gym Class/Lockpicking/Jocks Challenge: Sounds similar to "Resucitó" an old catholic song
·Bike Shop "Shiny Bikes": Sounds similar to Billy Club - Junkie XL, Horndog - Overseer
·Greaser's Hideout/Greaser's Challenge "Blue Balls Pool House" "Tattoo Parlor" & "The Happy Mullet": Sounds similar to In-Cut Overdrive - Tomonori Sawada; Sega Rally 2006 Game
·Townies/Dropouts Hideout "Dropout Hangout": Sounds similar to Babel - Covenant
★ Still Missing... Unknown?
·Chemistry Class: although i can't find a matching song it doesn't sound like music per se
·Math Class (Main): definitely a funky/soul tune, unfortunately i couldn't find a corresponding song for it
·Nut Shots: resembles Gradius songs a game by Konami or AiAce Combat a Namco Game
I Hope you like it 😎👍
submitted by igorcarbex16 to bully [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 08:25 yishengsweater knit oem,des pull,Her jumper adaptation

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submitted by yishengsweater to u/yishengsweater [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 15:31 Gumbybum Lore Discovery Part 3/3: Fishbones, Flatwoods, and Colonel's Burning Secret

Disclaimer: This post is long, so you may want to save it and read it later. Also, I put a lot of time into both researching this and writing it up. So if all you have is negative feedback, kindly keep it to yourself. Finally, there’s a lot more that I’ve been looking into beyond the scope of this write-up. If you’d like to join my exp-LORE-ation efforts, please let me know.
Recap: Part 1 establishes that Colonel is the same kid who was playing with his “baer frends” at the Palace of the Winding Path. Part 2 establishes that Darius Angler was the author of the 4 Untitled Poems.
Edit: Hyperlinks don't seem to be working so I'm manually pasting my references to parts 1 and 2.
TLDR (mad spoilers up in here): Fishbones led the raid that killed Colonel and all the Responders in Flatwoods, and he could very well be Darius Angler’s brother. Colonel may have been up to something nefarious with the children of Flatwoods (but not in that way). Ra Ra might be Ward’s granddaughter. And it looks like mole rat teeth are used to craft Day Tripper.

We Begin at the End: November 2096. 13 Bridge Street, Flatwoods, WV. Responder Colonel died in the raider attack on Flatwoods, along with just about every other Responder that resided there. The raiders attacked because a Chem Addict stole all their food and chems and fled to Flatwoods. You can find her body and holotape just West of the river. But before we get to that, we need to look at what Colonel was up to before he died. Most people probably overlooked this detail because they haven’t explored Flatwoods since they were level 3, and at that point they didn’t have a jetpack or the Marsupial mutation. But Colonel’s front AND back porches are completely railed off. If you make it over the front railing, you’ll find the corpses of Colonel and (likely) the raider that killed him, Colonel’s second “Survivor Story,” and a stroller with an intact doll in it. Colonel was the “caregiver for children” in Flatwoods, so the stroller may have once been for an actual baby.
But on the back porch, Colonel was burning books, files, documents, and the contents of a mysterious duffel back on his grill. Colonel definitely had a secret and he was literally trying to burn the evidence. And that secret was his past with the Diehards and Darius Angler. If you follow the road West out of Flatwoods, you’ll eventually arrive at Hillfolk Hotdogs, which is the site of Untitled Poem #3 and the former home of Colonel when he lived with Angler as a child (you can find one of his “baer frends” on the kid-sized bunk bed). But inside the bus(?) at Hillfolk’s, you’ll also find similar documents and a duffel bag, just like the kind Colonel was burning in Flatwoods when he died. As a matter of fact, there are other similarly suspicious duffel bags and file caches along the Ohio River. And this takes us to Ohio River Adventures.
Fishbones is a Dirty Rat Bastard: In the exact same way that the Diehards returned to Crater, a former territory of theirs (and site of Untitled Poem #2), the Diehards also returned to Ohio River Adventures. Now, O.R.A. gets overlooked because there is no main quest line that keeps you returning to this area (maybe the grind for Raider Rep), but this place is former Diehard territory too. Now, it is critically important to know that both Fishbones (Bones) and Blackeye are O.G. Diehards. Blackeye was almost certainly Colonel’s 1st grade teacher back at the Palace of the Winding Path. But what about Bones? Well, my friends, I bet I’m about to tell you something you didn’t already know:
When Margie McClintock died in 2096 (as inferred what Rose tells us during the main quest), Meg Groberg took over and soon thereafter led the Diehards out of Appalachia before returning years later (that, you already knew). You probably also already knew that before Margie died, Meg and the other Diehards went against protocol and “shot first” when robbing people. Meg was a true raider in all the ways that Margie was not. But what you probably didn’t put together is that Margie died around the time that Flatwoods was attacked. According to the Chem Addict from Flatwoods:
“Chems Addict: Well, this is it I guess. Rock bottom I think they call it. I still miss him. Billy. I knew he was too young for me, but he made me feel good. Though it's the old Billy I really miss. The one who used to do nothing all day with me but listen to the radio and drink. I shoulda got out sooner when Billy and his buddies started torturing little cats and dogs. His friends... were no good. But that didn't stop me anyway. I can't believe my wake up call was watching people's heads... get stuck on spikes. So... what is an old gal like me to do? Steal all the food. Steal all the chems. And get the hell out of there. *laughs* I'd trade my last bite of food just to see the look on their faces. Oh, I know it's going to piss off Billy's friends, but I don't give a damn. I tell myself I should feel sorry for the little town across the river. But if I'm being honest, and that's what this tape is for, I don't really care. I call myself an addict, but it ain't the chems that finally got me. It was always Billy.”
I want to emphasize the “heads on spikes” part, because that’s something Margie would never tolerate. But Meg on the other hand let raiders be raiders. The other thing that I want to point out is “Billy.” I’m not saying for certain that this Billy is the same as Darius Angler’s brother, but I am saying that technically no body was ever recovered from the molten steel, and Angler didn’t see the accident happen because he didn’t work at Grafton Steel anymore. It’s possible that “Billy Angler,” who didn’t quit because “he needs the money,” could have taken out some kind of insurance policy, named his chem addict girlfriend as the beneficiary, faked his own death, and skipped town. Do I know for certain that this happened? Of course not. But what I do know is this: FISHBONES’S REAL NAME IS BILLY!!! The reason he’s obsessed with the letter B is because that’s his first initial. You see, at first I thought the raiders that wrecked Flatwoods were Cutthroats because of their whole feud with the Responders. But then I learned that the Flatwoods attack was caused by a bunch of chems that the Addict stole, and the Diehards were Appalachia’s great chems supplier (thanks to Angler). Furthermore, Fishbones’s current operation is spiking Mirelurk meat with an addictive substance (chems). And since Bones is an OG Diehard, it means he was the piece-of-shit raider that attacked Flatwoods and killed Colonel.
A Bit About Bruiser: I found a few interesting details about Bruiser at Ohio River Adventures, but nothing too profound. We know that he used to play football, his mascot was a “battle bear,” and that he spent some time in a vault. The likeliest conclusion from this information is that he’s from Grafton, given that’s the only high school in the region with a football field and it’s next to the makeshift vault that formerly housed a few raiders before the BOS took over. If you look up the IRL Grafton High School, you’ll find that it’s on Yates Ave (likely the namesake of Sofie Yates, a Responder turned Raider in Flatwoods) and their mascot is the “Bearcat.” Also, all the varsity jackets in FO76 have the letter B on them, but that’s more Fishbones’s thing. But none of this has anything to do with Colonel or Angler, so let’s move on.
The Charleston Cartel (2079-2082): From the Charleston Capitol Building terminal entries, we know there was a massive chem trade happening in Charleston at this time:
“Name: Matoukas, George
Date of Crime: 10.09.81
300 Block of Oak. Based on anonymous tip, Responder Atkins found subject peddling vast amounts of illegal chems out of his home. Over 300lbs of illegal chems found in the subject's basement.
Matoukas sentenced to 5 years hard labor under close supervision, with possibility of parole for good behavior. Chems were seized and destroyed.”
Since the Diehards’ operation at the Palace of the Winding Path effectively ended with the great rapture of ‘79, it only makes sense that the Diehards would have to adapt their drug trade elsewhere. If you actually look for raider activity in Charleston (outside of the courthouse), you won’t find a lot, but what you will find is very telling of their operations. You’ll find a dead raider at the chemistry workbench inside Hornwright Industrial Headquarters. You’ll find a few dead raiders in/above the pharmacy on the south side of town. And you’ll find a dead raider lurking outside the doctors’ offices (which is NOT the hospital) to the north. And this takes us to Dr. Joseph.
Dr. Joseph was a psychiatrist in Charleston who practiced both before AND after the Great War. He had the authority to refer patients to Allegheny Asylum and write prescriptions; Prescriptions that would be filled at the pharmacy on the south side of Charleston. To one patient, P. Davis, he prescribed Day Tripper. This insightful detail is why the Diehards were operating in Charleston in the first place. As many seasoned players have observed, Day Tripper is not craftable in this game; You can only find it out in the wild. Consider the following terminal entry from the Palace of the Winding Path:
“Log: 12.29.77 Since the war, incense ingredients have been hard to come by. We started rationing weeks ago, in anticipation of this, and doses are much lower. The sedative effects of the incense are a priority, to keep people from freaking out.
I've begun to improvise with some other ingredients and found some creative ways of stretching the supply, at least until things return to relative normal. Other chem supplies are plentiful.”
So here’s what I think happened. If the Diehards were in dire need of Day Tripper to make their custom chems (see: Making Incense), and the Responders had a healthy supply of Day Tripper locked inside a pharmacy in Charleston, and there was also a doctor who wrote prescriptions for Day Tripper, then all the Diehards needed to do was register a new patient with Dr. Joseph. Enter: Darius Angler.
Darius Angler was batshit crazy (if in doubt, refer to his manifesto). Angler, who now resided at Hillfolk Hotdogs, was also just a short trip up the New River from Charleston. He would periodically visit Dr. Joseph, get his prescription filled like a meth-head scoring Sudafed, and used the trip as a cover to smuggle the refined chems into the city. Essentially, I think he just made a loop around the southwest “island” of the Forest (area surrounded on all sides by 3 rivers, referred to as “Zone D”). The loop around Zone D functioned as a supply chain/assembly line for producing the chems that were being smuggled into Charleston. There’s a lot of suspicious stuff happening around here: Raider activity, duffel bags/files, bridge control, coffin conspiracies, etc. that I had to edit out for length, but I’ll try to summarize it here.
Hillfolk Hotdogs is where Angler and Colonel raised mole rats for reasons I’ll explain later. Follow the Ohio River south and you’ll soon come to a boat that’s not far away from a crashed truck loaded up with industrial chemical barrels (useful for producing industrial quantities of chems). South of that is a tent with a duffel bag. Further south you’ll find a 3-story house with suspicious files and a duffle bag hidden in the attic (just like at Hillfolk’s). South of that are some dry-docked boats with a chem box and a duffel bag. Even further south is Ohio River Adventure (a current Raider base of operation that served a similar purpose back then). Southeast of there, by Lewis & Sons, is a little “boat” with 2 stuffed bears, which I think was left behind by Colonel as he reenacted his river adventures with Angler using his bears. Southeast of there is a floating Nuka-Cola structure with a submerged safe guarded by 2 more bears, one of which has a liquor bottle. I think this is a dead drop and the bears are another work of Colonel’s. Heading East up the River you’ll find a raider-operated “store” at the end of a questionable bridge. Further east is Charleston, where George Matoukas was distributing the chems. And on the return trip down the New River is another dead drop directly beneath the Bridge on the west side. It’s a safe by a couch with a bear and Jangles (I think Jangles is supposed to represent George). Again, I think that this big loop is a supply chain/assembly line for moving chems and the components needed to make chems.
The smuggling operation also deviously involved Colonel and his “Baer Frends.” If you jetpack up to the very top of AVR Medical Center, you’ll find two people who OD’ed on chems, each with a stuffed bear next to them. So I think that either the Diehards were sewing chems inside Colonel’s stuffed bears and using them as drug mules to smuggle chems into Charleston, or that Colonel just climbed to the highest point on the hospital (as he did at the Palace and later in Flatwoods) and left two bears as a memorial. But I’m leaning toward the former because of an unmarked location in the Savage Divide that I found. It’s southeast of Bastion Park right at the bend of the monorail line. It’s essentially a fire pit with a bunch of stuffed bears thrown in it with a few dead party-goers around the area. I think this is the location where the Responders destroyed all of the Chems, bears and all, that they confiscated from George Matoukas. Speaking of George Matoukas….
Curious George and the Rocket: According to the above-mentioned terminal entry, George Matoukas was apparently the only criminal who the Responders sentenced to hard labor rather than exile. If you go to Rollins Labor Camp (formerly Rollins Work Camp), you won’t find a whole lot there other than Blood Eagles. But what you WILL find at the very top of the crane structure are two stuffed bears and a Jangles. Colonel, as a child, had a thing for playing with “baer frends in high places.” I can’t say with any certainty what happened here, but maybe Angler was the one who gave the responders that “anonymous tip” because Matoukas was starting to rub off on Colonel, and Angler didn’t want him growing up to be a Raider. Matoukas gets sentenced to hard labor rather than exile, with a change of parole pending “good behavior,” which means “snitching.” So maybe Angler took Colonel to visit his “friend” at the labor camp (visiting hours are a thing), Angler introduced George to a “rocket,” and Colonel used his toys to recreate the scene. Or not. Who knows? But what I do know is that the shitty poet (Angler) moved on from Hillfolk Hotdogs to go to the Cranberry Bog, and I think the Christmas Flood gave him the perfect reason to leave.
Untitled Poem #3: I’m intentionally skipping Untitled Poem #2, partly because I haven’t found much deeper meaning to it, but mostly because what I think it means is little more than conjecture. #3, on the other hand, I feel like I can make sense of it:
“white cedar leaning against the shadow of our river
peeling like asylum walls
hobbled together around dignity that died long ago
simple things to jumpstart fogged memories
holed as teeth hidden in tin
we leave our things pinned
winning only the stuck wings”
I think the phrase “white cedar leaning against the shadow of our river” is the title of the painting in Dr. Joseph’s office. Or at least that’s how Darius Angler would describe it as if it was some kind of Rorschach test. “Peeling like asylum walls, hobbled together around dignity that died long ago” is a reference to the office wallpaper, and perhaps another one of Dr. Joseph’s clients, Daniel Boone.
“Patient: "Boone, D"
Interesting case.
Patient responds only to "Daniel Boone" and indeed seems to believe himself to be the historical figure by the same name. I'd heard that some of the hillfolk can end up a bit off after lack of socialization, but I'd not expected to see such a case.
Advised that he be sent to Allegheny rather than the Penitentiary for further observation.”
There’s only a VERY narrow window of plausibility to suggest that Angler is Daniel Boone, so I won’t. But this entry seems to refer back to Untitled Poem #3, with worlds like “hillfolk” (as in Hillfolk Hotdogs), “Allegheny” (as in asylum), and “the historical figure” (as in dignity that died long ago). I think the line “simple things to jumpstart fogged memories'' refers to the Souvenir Magnet on the fridge at Hillfolk Hotdogs, and I think it came from Lady Janet’s Soft Serve (not Cow Spot Creamery). “Holed as teeth hidden in tin” refers to the mole rats that he was raising with Colonel at Hillfolk’s (the cat bowl on the floor is for the mole rat that walks around the trailer like Fry’s dog from Futurama, just waiting for Colonel to come home). And “we leave our things pinned, winning only the stuck wings,” refers to Angler’s (and Colonel’s) escape from the Diehards. I’m assuming this event took place just after the Christmas flood, once the chem operation in Charleston was destroyed with the rest of the city. But if you remember those dead raiders I mentioned earlier, there are a few more. Outside of Dr. Joseph’s office is a dead raider next to an ammo box. Well, next to him is a makeshift bridge that goes over the highway. And if you keep going in the same direction once you step off the bridge you’ll hit the southwest corner of Wade Airport. Immediately in that corner past the fence is a locked truck-trailer (watch out for the mine) with 2 more dead raiders and a power armor chassis (sometimes). I think the last line of the poem refers to this exact event, leaving his power armor (and compatriots) pinned in the back of the trailer so he can steal yet another Vertibird. Angler flew the automated aircraft to Watoga. Why? I don’t know. But it explains how he got to the Cranberry Bog and why his body can be found just a short distance south of the city.
Untitled Poem #4: Just like #2, I don’t have any deep insight into the specifics so all I can do is speculate. I’ll spare you the details. But what I think it’s about is the very end of his relationship with Colonel. I think the time Angler and Colonel spent together in the unmarked cabin southeast of Sunrise Field was just Angler teaching Colonel to be self-sufficient (hunting, trapping, maintaining weapons and whatnot). I think that when the scorched attacked Harper’s Ferry in 2086 that there was also generally increased scorched activity in the eastern half of Appalachia. The poem describes Angler providing cover fire to, or perhaps just drawing fire away from Colonel as escaped through Big Bend Tunnel, later to be found by the Responders. But again, like with #2, all I can do with this poem is speculate.
The Mysterious Mole Rats: This is a question I’ve had for almost 2 years now, and I think I finally figured it out. Back at the Palace of the Winding Path, there’s a lonely mole rat that lives in the computer room by the garden. There’s also a dead mole rat next to a dead raider pilot by a downed plane that was headed to the Palace from the north. I didn’t know what the Diehards needed mole rats for because I was only looking at the Palace itself. But the answer to this question is found at Lady Janet’s. Everyone thinks that the two bears in gas masks by the chemistry is just a Breaking Bad easter egg. But I think it’s yet another “baer frend” reenactment left behind by Colonel. Do you remember how the cultists at the Palace ran out of ingredients to make the “spiritual incense” and had to improvise? Well, one of the substitute ingredients they used, and the reason they were importing mole rats, and the reason the Diehards took care of the children like they did, is found in the baby carriage at Lady Janet’s.
A basket full of human jaw bones? Yeah…. Teeth. Or more precisely, “baby teeth.” I suppose mole rat teeth would do in a pinch, but as messed up as it sounds human baby teeth were preferred. This is why the Diehards at the Palace were taking care of those first-graders; because six-year-olds shed baby teeth like it’s raining molars! This also answers a question you didn’t even know you had, and it takes us back to Flatwoods. Here’s a note written by Jeremiah Ward who lived in trailer in the town (and the Ransacked Bunker before that):
“I, Jeremiah Ward, resident in the town of Flatwoods, county of... not sure.
Being of sound mind, and not acting under... duress. Mostly.
Hereby declare this letter to be my last will and testament.
Mia gets the house, and everything in it.
It ain't much but that's all I got to give and... she's all I got.
I know she's still alive.
The Responders say the dogs got her, but I know it ain't true.
They been real good to us. Teaching an old geezer like me how to really cook is something. I'll give em that.
But I know they lyin about those dogs. I seen em in the hills. There's some bad folks scoping us out. They took my granddaughter, I just know it.
I'll get you back, Mia. I promise.”
Mia, a baby who slept in the crib in that trailer, was abducted by raiders. And the only raider gang that ever had any interest in kids was the Diehards. And when you remember that the Responders had a foster care program that would later be run by Colonel once he was older, you’ll remember that a shit load of children went “missing” when Billy (Fishbones) attacked Flatwoods. And if teeth (baby, mole rat, or otherwise) was the secret ingredient in Angler’s chem recipe… and Colonel was Angler’s apprentice for a number of years before he joined the Responders… and Colonel was the caretaker of all of the children of Flatwoods… then exactly what was in those documents that Colonel was burning on his back porch?
Full Circle: So after everything, the Diehards lost their crop of children at the Palace of the Winding Path in 2079, but took the children of Flatwoods and left Appalachia. When they came back, they put Fishbones (Billy) in charge of the Ohio River Adventures operation, who is now spiking the mirelurk meat with a potent chem. It’s totally possible that Ra Ra is actually Mia Ward (Jeremiah Ward’s granddaughter). Hell, it’s even possible that Jeremiah Ward is somehow Ward from Foundation. Since Colonel was obviously keeping, and subsequently burning, secrets, I’d say he was also inclined to keep his raider past a secret as well as the truth about his adoptive father. Like he said in his Survivor’s Story, “he was bad.” Perhaps the reason he kept his Diehard history a secret from the Dassa and the other Responders was because he knew that the Responders were the ones punishing and exiling people back in Charleston. But this whole story began the day Darius Angler decided to get revenge on Grafton Steel. And if his brother hadn’t actually died after all, then it would explain why Angler stayed with the Diehards for as long as he did rather than returning to the Free states. Regardless, this entire story began and ended with Billy. “It was always Billy.”
submitted by Gumbybum to fo76 [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 16:48 adsfWEFSDF S Files Pro X (Shrestha Files) - File Explorer for Windows (Free for a few days)

S Files Pro X (Shrestha Files) - File Explorer for Windows (Free for a few days) submitted by adsfWEFSDF to Windows11 [link] [comments]

2023.05.27 14:44 adsfWEFSDF S Files Pro X (Shrestha Files) - File Explorer for Windows (Free for a few days)

S Files Pro X (Shrestha Files) - File Explorer for Windows (Free for a few days)
To celebrate the Microsoft Build 2023, we are introducing S Files Pro X - the next version of Shrestha Files - with new icon and new features. As you may already know, S Files Pro X is the first major file management app in the Microsoft Store to use latest microsoft technology (WinAppSDK). This version brings a lot of improvements, such as updated cleaner UI, support for protocol launch (e.g., sfiles:C:\Users), Mica support, multilevel bookmarks, and many more. Checkout the full changelog here: and download the app directly from Microsoft Store here:
submitted by adsfWEFSDF to Windows10 [link] [comments]

2023.05.27 08:03 dikaruu [RF] Meat - Daily Short

*Been trying to write a short story/poem a day, so here's today's. Hope you enjoy!
When the older Mister Elway caked the hood of his car with wet meat and frosting, he didn’t know what’d hit him. A day later, he did–slumped in his Lay-z-boy for the eight o’clock news, a tray of chicken warming a chest which suddenly grew cold.
I mean, who could blame the man–who could have known in that weather? The snow was heavier than heavy cream, the kerbs iced, woods infested with deer who’d jump at the chance to kiss a bumper–see love, like a car, is a dangerous thing. And his bumper, the older Elway’s, was patched up before the sun’d even gotten a chance to comb the fields–all snowswept–with its dove-white glow, loosening icicles from their perches, blood from the slurry of ice and shattered bone and mud exposed to the winter air when a heavy something’d barreled across its tow. That same something’d made a shallow dent in the older Elway’s Ford, which pissed him off more than the act of killing itself (crashing’s cheap, fixing a car takes some coin). So he fished some duct tape out of his fat red Uline, plastered over the rough, called that night a night, and called the corpse on the roadside road kill–I mean, if he never investigated, what’s the mass at the foot of his wheels but a busted doe.
That’s what–what he was familiar with at least. A busted doe. Which is why that very first night, he consoled himself by whispering to himself, she’s childless–a remorse he rarely afforded deer. Didn’t dare venture beyond that realm of thought–that that body’s not a doe–cus he preferred his bitter cup of guilt a pooled pair of fawns, motherless, wandering the empty chambers of a hemlock grove searching for a teat that isn’t there. Because that kind of dying–the animal kind–was a familiar sight.
He’d hunted some times before, with his grandfather as a kid, his father as a man, his son as an older man, his grandson as an older older man. Killing was a disease of the blood for Elway sons, who through generations of tracking, shooting, hunting had forgotten what an empty freezer box looks like (a month later, his wife, the elder Missus Elway, would come to know: vacuous, sullen and a little more cold). Nevertheless, they'd always known venison on sacred sundays and how to strip hides; they’d stuff popsicles between the pink blocks to keep 'em cool in summer's hotter spells and string garland between the set of antlers that crowned their Christmas-time hearth once November had died down. They were a proud lineage, after all.
As a child, he’d ogle the court of heads that lined their silent antechamber. Kings who broke the vine rose wallpaper–all yellowed by water, peeling–with their ivory masts and royal, black eyes that’d glare back at him, his head rolling across the floor in awe. *That* him wanted nothing more than to be mounted on a wall, just as all kids, young and unknowing, expect things grand in their future. The truth was the older older Mister Elway had done a shoddy job stuffing those buck skulls. Wood wool puffed through half-broken seams. Their brow lines slumped a little too low. They furrowed at the indignity of their deaths, not the actual dying, but the mounting, the careless shear job done to their lofty tufts, the hackey-state they’d found themselves immortalized in. Like Annie Pork–as I said, meat–who’d be immortalized with a similar lack of care:
Acheron County Hit-and-Run Leaves 14-year-old Girl Dead.
“How sad.”
Now to the weather… a warm front, that his wife would later attribute to a garden-variety flu, crept slowly upon old Mister Elway’s forehead and stomach and chest and his heart, most of all, for the moment that headline fashioned itself across his screen, Mister Elway became the worst kind of killer–a killer without care.
“How sad.” he thought, “Who could do such a thing.”
submitted by dikaruu to shortstories [link] [comments]

2023.05.25 22:27 Electronic_Tax2281 The Evergreen [SF]

Sitting here, crying, hurting, in pain. By the time that clock hits midnight everything that’s been instilled in my mind through out the day comes to the surface. Sitting here, trapped, breathless, idiotic. That’s what it is isn’t it? Idiotic. Yet I continue to let the music play and the tears drown me, all over a person. A person. It’s that simple, a person and nothing more, not an angel, not a guardian, not a soulmate. A person
100 thoughts at once and Erica is 99 of them. I lay here and let my mind go to the furthest point away from reality it can go. Dissociation. What runs through my head while in this state is unexplainable, surreal maybe? “I wish I could just hurry up life. Make myself older so I can see her everyday again” Those words. Words that I will forever regret even thinking. Life is something that should be grasped tight not wished gone
Sitting here, tears, music, alone. I fell asleep expecting to wake up like normal, in my bed, in my house of horrors. I didn’t wake up like normal. I woke up in a panic after waking up in a bed that wasn’t mines. Empty, cold, stale. I felt lightheaded, as if I had been ill. I was in shock. No noise, not even a gun shot, could have made it through to me. Trying to work out where I was or more importantly, WHO I was. I was in a bedroom with pretty grey walls, a spotless white carpet and so many photos it was unreal. I recognize these people. I thought, as I continued analyzing the faces in these captured moments, framed, displayed, like there is something to prove by having the good moments displayed for the world to see. I, on the other hand, looked like I had aged 20 years over night. I’m dreaming. This is not real. Wake up, wake up! Obviously, I couldn’t wake up because nothing about this was a dream but how could it possibly be real?
buzz buzz
I jumped. Startled by the previously unnoticed phone on the bedside table. I lifted the unfamiliar phone not knowing what to expect. The phone looked almost futuristic. I clicked the button on the side and the screen came to life, glaring at me, making my head throb even more. The lock screen displayed a photo of me and a little girl. Except it wasn’t me. She looked like me, undeniably, a spitting image. The golden curls, the glasses, everything down to my squint jaw. But it can’t be, the woman in the photo looked around 30. It’s impossible. The buzzing came from a text “Dear Taylor…” was all I could see without clicking further. Clicking further a password screen came up
  1. “Password incorrect, damn” 210182. The phone unlocks. “Future me is still so predictable” I said with I quick roll of my eyes but also glad that it worked. Bringing up the text it read, “Dear Taylor, you should be careful what you wish for. Today’s date is 22nd of May 2040. Good luck and have fun- The Future”. At this point I could feel my heart beat pounding out my chest. It felt like my heart was going to explode at any moment. So many thoughts where racing through my head at once that I couldn’t comprehend them all.
After taking a minute to process what’s happening and thinking more reasonably. “This has to be some sort of sick joke, right? Time travel doesn’t actually exist”. My vision started to go blurry as I fell to the floor. Get a grip Taylor! I got myself back up and grabbed on the handle of the bedroom door. I let my hand linger for a second too long as I know I’m about to face whatever is out there whether ill wake up and it’s all a dream or whether this is real and I’m really 17 years in the future.
Handle down, expecting the worst, I opened the door slowly. I walked out into a hall full of even more photos. I studied them closer this time. I saw a photo of me and my Erica hanging up center of the wall, of course. We look so happy together, the way I imagined us being. We looked like we were on holiday. As I continued walking further through the walls that held my future life, I was amazed at how everything came together the way it did. One question was still left unanswered though. Who was the little girl? Was she mines?
I didn’t know whether I even wanted to keep walking or I wanted to stop and leave everything to fate to decide when it reached 2040 but my feet wouldn’t stop, it looks like we are finding out then. As I walked into the living room the walls where white bricks with a grey carpet, a massive bookshelf that reached the ceiling, couches and a massive TV. Again, even more photos, more again of the same little girl.
Walking into the kitchen was like walking into a kitchen from a TV show. White cupboards, marble countertops with black and white tiles laid on the floor. What really drew my attention though was the fridge in the corner. More the photos on it mainly, the same little girls face was plastered everywhere. “She has to be my daughter” I thought to myself as I took the chance to really look at this girl with the same golden curls as me. There was a piece of paper magnetized onto the fridge, a school certificate, that read the name Erica.
I’m exactly where I wanted to be. A nice house and a daughter named after my Erica after all those years of waiting, all those years I thought I had wasted for love, all had just proven to mean something after all. I take a deep breath with a quiet smile is plastered over my face. “It was all worth it in the end” I said aloud. “What was worth it Mummy?” A barley awake voice said to me pulling me back into the now very real reality of the fact that I’m near enough 20 years in the future. “Nothing darling” I responded with a very clear look of shock on my face. Like I had just seen a ghost.
The day continued on with my face still showing clear signs of disbelief at this girl sitting in front of me. “Did you enjoy your breakfast?” I asked with a smile. Erica nodded swiftly. I’m still just presuming her names Erica from the certificate I seen on the fridge. There was no real way to find out without giving it up that I don’t belong here. Just then another buzz at the phone. Could this be giving me my answer as to what this, presumably, Erica’s name is?
“Dear Taylor, you have used your knowledge to conclude that the girl standing before you are, in fact, your future daughter” “Not really figured it out considering she walked out of her room and called me Mummy but whatever” I thought to myself as I continued to read the message “But the question is. What’s her name? You’re correct, her name is Erica. Your daughter’s name is Erica Lyla Grey. The next step of your day is to make sure that Erica, and whoever else from your future life you encounter, has no clue that you’ve been sent from the past-The Future”
I try to keep my face emotionless in front of Erica, she can’t know, it’s part of the rules of the future. As she eats’ I let my mind wander. Do I know anyone already with the last name Grey? Do I still have any of the same friends? A voice breaks through the silence and pulls me back from the void that is the complexity of my spinning head. “Mummy, can we go and visit Auntie Erica today?” Auntie. I can’t help but let a small smile wash over my face. That one word had changed my outlook on this future that I’ve been left to experience blindly. I must’ve let the question linger a little too long as Erica added “I’m sorry, Mummy. I know you don’t like to talk about her but it was her birthday a few months ago and we haven’t been to visit since Christmas, maybe we could bring some flowers?”
I froze. Unable to move, see, think. What’s happened to me? A future where I don’t like to talk about my Erica? That’s impossible. Again, letting Erica’s words fill the room, suffocating me, not letting me breathe anymore. “It’s okay Mummy. I’m so sorry” Erica says while getting up from her seat and wrapping me in a hug. I hug her back trying to trap my tears, stop them from escaping, making this real. I want nothing more right now than to ask why I don’t like to speak of my Erica but that would give away the secret I’ve swore to keep, why?
“Why wouldn’t I like to speak of Auntie Erica?” Letting Erica go and coughing over the word auntie as I’m still in shock at those words. Erica looks to the floor. As if the reason is uncomfortable or upsetting? She eventually responds. “Well, you know, after the accident, the one that you and Auntie Erica were in” Sitting here, hurt, loss, pain. Grasping little Erica’s words wishing she wasn’t saying them. “It was just me and Auntie Erica in the car, wasn’t it? I don’t remember it very much” I say demanding for an answer from her. Was she in the car? I’d already pieced together that if it was just me and my Erica in the car that I would’ve been driving. Did I kill my Erica? Stop. You don’t even know she’s dead. “No, Uncle Oliver was driving. Remember?” Uncle Oliver. If my Erica died in that car crash then Oliver will be dead too. He wouldn’t have made it very long without my Erica. She was his world.
“You know what. Of course, we can go visit her” I say looking into Erica’s eyes. They’re blue, oceanic, they remind me of my Erica’s. Her blue eyes. They are the kind of blasphemy that makes a congregation cry but it’s almost cruel letting my mind wander back to the blue in her eyes when there’s a very real chance that she’s dead. Even with my doubts, I let my mind wander to the memories. Well, the ones that I have anyway. “D-do you think we could maybe invite Uncle Oliver to come with us?”
Oliver’s alive? Thank GOD. “Sure. I’ll give him a call. Why don’t you go and play right now?” Erica gives me a half-hearted smile as she wanders off, like she knows somethings up with me but doesn’t want to ask. With Erica gone I get the chance to pull out my phone and have a browse of my contacts still secretly hoping that I’ll see my Erica’s name there for me to be able to phone. It wasn’t. This was real whether I liked it or not, it was. But Oliver’s name was. I click it, hesitantly I click further for it to call seemingly the only thing I have left of my Erica, it rings. The rings, they were almost relaxing. One ring, two rings, three. Still no answer. Come on Oliver, pick up, pick up. “Hello?” A quiet voice said on the other end of the phone, a voice that brings me peace and serenity, Oliver’s voice.
“Hey Oliver, its um” starting to stumble over my words. Why was I stumbling over my words when the man on the other end of the phone was someone I’d known for years? I couldn’t tell you. Get…a…GRIP. “It’s Taylor. Listen, Erica was asking about going to visit her today and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to tag along?”. His reply took what felt like hours but was realistically probably only seconds. Everything seems to feel like a lifetime when you’ve wished so much of your life away. Why isn’t he answering? Crap, did I say something wrong? Has he caught on? It lingers, uncomfortably. “Sure, why not. I’ll pick the two of you up in an hour” His reply almost calms me, the familiarity in it is enough to bring me back to the past. The times where I wish I still was.
The hour passes by, not fast but not slow either. Almost like I’m starting to make sense of the future that’s been thrown at me without warning. Be careful what you wish for. Oliver pulls up. I don’t even know if I want to see him. His state without my Erica. Walking outside the sun blinded me and I prepare myself once again for what I’m about to see and then I see him. He’s standing there looking near enough the same he as he did 17 years ago except there’s something there. Could it be his grey hair made silver by the sun? Maybe but not quite. “Uncle Oliver!!” Erica gleams letting go of the tight grip she had on my hand and begins to run towards him. The words Uncle Oliver are still enough to put a smile across my face. He bends down and hugs her tight. I want him to hug me too. I’m just so glad that he didn’t fall to his feet upon my Erica’s death. I think. Still unsure if she actually died. Oliver lifts Erica as we head to his car, buckled in and seated he starts driving off to where ever my Erica lays. We drove for a good 20 minutes in silence. The silence wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, just peaceful. We arrive at the last place I wanted but the first place I expected. A graveyard. Getting out of the car and beginning to walk up towards the gate of death, dread, doom and eternal grief, I felt my eyes glisten as we approached my Erica’s forever resting place. Hold it back Taylor. Hold it back. Show no weakness. I couldn’t hold it back anymore reading the engraving on her stone. My face was heating up as the tears streamed down my face.
“Here lies Erica Sinclair. Loving wife and Aunt. 21.01.82-15-08-38” Wife? I thought to myself. Did they finally decide to get married after all those years? I’ll have to look for photos when I get home. Another tear fell down my face as I brought myself to my knees on the soaking wet grass. At least she got to meet Erica and clearly, they loved each other to have the fact that she’s her ‘Aunt’ be apparent on her gravestone. I turn round to catch my daughter crying. I wrap her in my arms as I just let go. Everything that had been held back since only finding out she was dead 2 hours ago came to the surface. I let myself forget the world for a second. Forget that Oliver’s standing right there. Forget that other people are here. Forget everything because none of it mattered to me. I may have only met her this morning but I love this girl eternally already. I may have lost my Erica but I still have this Erica and I’m going to love her more than life its self. That’s what a mothers meant to do, right? I don’t know how long I sat there with my daughter wrapped in my arms. I could’ve been minutes or it could’ve been hours. I finally let her go once the world slowly started to come back to me bit by bit. I began to see the trees again and all the other little things. Including Oliver. He’s crying. I admit, it brought a slight sense of unease to me watching tears fall from his hazel eyes, through his thick glasses, just the way I remembered him all those years ago which technically to me was just yesterday. Again, I feel the need to hug him the way I did when I first set eyes on him 17 years in the future but this time, before I let the moment pass, I did. Walking up to him I started to have second thoughts about this but squash them as I remember that things aren’t the same anymore. They changed without me even getting a chance to feel it. I hugged him.
After a rollercoaster of emotion while standing there, we headed home. Drained with emotional exhaustion. My body felt heavy. It ached. It must have been pure determination that gave me the strength to carry myself back to Oliver’s car. Home and safe yet there was still something missing. As I thought, after rummaging through some cupboards, photos from Erica and Oliver’s wedding. They looked so happy standing there together, in each other’s arms, nothing could pull them apart. Except maybe a car accident. Stop, no, Taylor. Don’t let your head wander there. I see me in a lot of these photos. This couldn’t have been long after my original time, back in 2023, because I barley look 20 in these photos. I must be at least 18, I thought to myself, spying a drink in my hand in a photo of me, Erica and Oliver. The three of us look so happy together. One thing I can’t help but notice in some of these photos is a man with his arm around me, kissing me in one. Could he be Erica’s dad?
Lying this bed. Unfamiliar, still stale and still cold. I can’t sleep. I know I need to sleep to return back home but it’s impossible. I eventually drift off hoping to return back home to a world where my Erica is alive. Although I will miss my daughter, Ill, be waiting to return to her grasp in the future.
Rocked, shoved, moving? My eyes began to open as I slowly regained awareness of the world. I was in a car. Had I been kidnapped? No. I wasn’t tied up. I was sat in the back seat of a car comfortably. It was pretty late at night, pitch black, and I didn’t recognize where I was at all. Looking out the window all I could see was trees and streetlights that were glowing a faint almost washed out yellow. A voice came from the front seat and that was what reminded me that someone had to actually be driving the car that I seem to be stuck in. The voice was familiar but I couldn’t quite place it just yet. By glancing at the driver all I could see was brown hair and was that a pair of glasses? The passenger let everything fall into place for me. I could spot my Erica a mile away. Does that mean that’s Oliver in the driver’s seat? Yes! That’s exactly who that is. “For God’s sake Oliver, you’ve got us lost” Erica says with enough attitude as she’s always had. “I haven’t got us lost, Erica!” Almost spitting her name at the end. Somehow, what ever he says always loses all anger with that thick English accent he’s always had. “Well, where are we then?” Erica snaps back instantly. The lack of response from Oliver leaves an undeniable tension in the air. All noise comes to an immediate stop. I checked my phone. Looks to be the same as the one had while in the future. Am I still in the future? I checked the date. The date was 15th of August 2038. Yep, still in the future but why does that date sound familiar. I couldn’t quite place where I knew that date from though.
This tension was making me feel uneasy. “What’s going on?” I say sitting myself upright in my chair, seatbelt nipping the side of my neck slightly in the process. “This big idiot here has got us lost” Erica responds. Not even looking away from where she’s been staring out the window into the cold and dark unknown. “Uh well where’s your phone? Pull up google maps maybe?” My attempt at helping just gets thrown back in my face when Oliver responds “Neither of us have any signal, do you?” checking my phone. No bars, damn. “None” panic starts to overcome me as my fear of the unfamiliar starts to set. “How long have we been driving about?” I answer to try and make a rough, probably not useful, guess as to how far away we are from home. “Uhh about 3 hours, I think” Oliver responds to me. Clearly, they’ve been arguing for a while because Erica’s still not speaking.
We keep driving down this long road as we continue to disappear further into the night. I think we were on the road about another hour, maybe? When suddenly I remember why today’s date was so familiar. It was the date on Erica’s gravestone. In the blink of an eye, we are blinded by beaming bright lights coming towards us and then we’re no longer on the road. Dizzy, ears ringing, blood rushing to my head. We are upside down in a ditch.
All I hear is ringing. Will someone PLEASE make the ringing stop, I thought as I dangled there helpless. After what felt like hours trapped in here, I eventually hear sirens wailing in the distance. Finally, help is coming. I said to letting myself drift. Maybe this time ill wake up in my own bed instead of another point in my future. No, you’ve got to stay awake. STAY AWAKE TAYLOR”
The sirens felt like they were going further away but it was just my consciousness slipping further away from reality. I was coming in and out of unconsciousness for a while, like a carousel spinning round and round. Watching paramedics come and go. “This one’s gone, sir” I’m sure I heard a male voice say. Erica. It sounded like an echo, almost imaginary. Maybe it sounded fake because I didn’t want it to be real. Closing my eyes hoping that if I give into the carousel then it’ll whisk me away. But what if letting myself die as well doesn’t let me go back to the past? Or the present. Stay awake.
Finally, I’m out of the car. Moving? Most likely to an Ambulance. I can’t see much, just a dizzying array of moving people and flashing lights as I get moved out of the ditch. The ditch that will forever haunt my memories. The ditch where I let my Erica slip away from me. The next thing I see is white, just white. Still moving? Crap! Did I let myself die?” No. I’m in a hospital. The light still blinding me. It’s making my head sting.
I don’t know how much time has passed that I’ve been stuck here. Trapped. A prisoner in my own body. I want to scream and shout but nothings working? Why can’t I speak? I let the frustration over come me, coursing every part of my body, it had to be better than the agony I was feeling. Gone. Out cold. I’d let the carousel take me. Hours, maybe even days passed before I next woke up but this time when I woke up it was different. Again, my first thought was whether I’d died. I couldn’t have. I was still stuck in my tiny hospital room with no knowledge of where I am. I could speak yet I wasn’t in any pain anymore. The door to my tiny hospital room opened slowly. Like as to not wake a sleeping baby. Is that what I was now? A sleeping baby? Is that why I couldn’t feel any pain anymore? A nurse walks in. She’s was a bigger woman with brown, wavy, shoulder length hair and bright blue scrubs. The nurse looked almost shocked to see me awake, an expression across her face that made it seem like she’d just seen a ghost. Maybe she thought she did.
“W-What happened to me?” I knew fine well what happened to me the night before, I just had to play the fool. The nurses, who can now see’s name tag reads ‘Angie’, facial expression quickly changed to a soft almost sympathetic look. A look in her eyes that can only be described as ‘sadness’. The nurse busies herself looking at my chart, probably to avoid eye contact, while she ‘breaks my heart’. “You were in a car accident, honey” With an English accent thicker than Oliver’s. Obviously, I already know everything she’s about to tell me about the accident so I don’t really know how to react. I avoid looking at her just like she’d done with me. “One person in the car didn’t make it” She continues “I’m so sorry...”. “I know. Erica died, probably on impact, I was conscious when they announced that she was dead.” I say flatly with no emotion at all. Shocked, the nurse takes a step back. “How’s Oliver?” I asked almost demandingly. “Oliver sustained minor injuries which was pretty lucky considering the severity of the accident. He was discharged this morning” For the first time while speaking with this nurse my face completely dropped. Has he left me here? Where did he go? One important question I should probably ask is where am I. “Where am I right now?” The nurse just looked at me like I was insane. “Uhm, you’re in a hospital?” Oh yeah like I don’t already know that, Angie. “No, I mean like where. We were lost when we crashed” The nurses face changes. Her eyes widen as she realises her mistake. “Oh, I’m sorry dear I didn’t get what you meant. You’re in Manchester.” Did she just say Manchester? How did we end up here?
A look of disbelief flashes over my face very obviously. The nurses’ expression starts to match mines as she ponders what has me so confused. She’s not to know how far away from home we really are. They’ve only spoke to Oliver who actively has an English accent. “What’s got you so confused, dear?” She says to me with the same pondering look on her face. I take a minute to come up with an answer for the nurses’ question as I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’ve somehow wound up in England! “I’m just so far away from home right now” The nurses face changes as she begins to understand my complexed look. “Oh really? How far?” “Eh, about 4 hours maybe. I’m from Scotland” This catches the nurses’ attention she looks up and her eyes dart toward my face. “What?” she says with a sudden unexplainable panic and swiftly drops what she was doing and leaves the room in a hurry. What’s going on? This question spun round my head over and over again until I passed out again.
Eyes fluttering as I came back to reality, expecting to still be in the future. I’m not thought, am I? I’m in my room, the flowery wallpaper, vanity displaying my CD’s and the photos stuck on the wall. I guess somethings never change. I was me again. Checking the time and date just to confirm and it read 23-05-23. The present. Was it all a dream? I guess I’ll not know until 2040 comes around.
Even if it was a dream, it certainly didn’t feel like it, I’m choosing to believe it was so I can still let the future but up to me to decide instead of something already written ahead of time. Be careful what you wish for. Next time in went to visit my Erica after this ‘dream’ I looked up at the hills in front of me and made sure to take notice of the purple evergreen, flowering plants that coated the hills.
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2023.05.24 17:20 gamingwithcrystal1o1 Proof 10 going second ,am for rh

Proof 10 going second ,am for rh submitted by gamingwithcrystal1o1 to u/gamingwithcrystal1o1 [link] [comments]

2023.05.24 04:27 alexrider20002001 Confusion

I am in the process of doing a pregnancy and one of the tasks was to change the wallpaper. I headed to the wall section and discovered that Christmas wallpapers were on sale. For a moment I wondered if I got the month wrong so I checked the date. Definitely not December or November. Does anyone know what the heck is happening?
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2023.05.22 15:09 SimbaTheSavage8 Her house is my prison

That is what I tell myself every day. Staring out the window, watching the cotton candy clouds drift past me bathed in orange, I can’t help but feel jealous.
They are so free. Like a bird. Flying around the world, seeing the sights and sounds. And I am stuck here behind four walls. Chained by my ambition, my misfortune.
And by her.
Her name is Nara and we met by accident. A few years ago I was on a road trip through half of the United States. I should’ve taken a plane or something to meet my folks on the West Coast, but college was much more stressful than I thought and I wanted time to myself.
Or perhaps I should have taken that plane. I wouldn’t have met her then.
It was already very cloudy when I left, but by night on the first day the clouds had morphed from a happy white to a dull gray. They huddled together in clumps, glancing worriedly down at me like I knew something they didn’t. Secrets left untold.
On the second day I heard thunder rumbling in the distance; and by the afternoon it had turned into a full-blown storm. The wind howled and thrashed against my car; the rain slammed hard against the windshield. I gritted my teeth, gripping the wheel so hard my knuckles turned white.
My car screamed and leaned dangerously to the left, so I jerked the wheel to the right so that it righted itself. I peered hard through the dense curtain of fog, trying to find some sign of life. A motel perhaps. Or a farmhouse. Or even a caravan containing a kind soul willing to shelter someone from the pouring rain.
But even then I knew it was futile. The last time I saw anything remotely close to human civilisation was a sign that read ‘Welcome to Kansas’ about 100 miles back.
Thunder roared and lightning cracked the sky in half like a whip. The trees were shaking; they were thin shadows in the darkened sky, their branches waving wildly like witches dancing around a cauldron.
What happened next was something I never forgot. The way lightning arched forward and sliced the tree into two. The way the tree swayed and groaned like an old man.
The shadow upon my car.
My foot scraping the accelerator pedal. Jamming it down, not quick enough.
The roof of my car caving in like a crushed can of Pepsi.
Then silence.
My first thought was that I had died and gone to heaven.
I was lying on what seemed to be soft, fluffy clouds. Warm light shone down on my face, making me blush. In the distance I heard crackling fire.
I was also naked.
I tried to sit up to take my bearings, but then I immediately collapsed back onto my pillow.
“You’re weak. Rest.”
The voice sounded like it came from somewhere far away. It was rich and smooth, like liquid chocolate, and I felt it vibrate through my spine. Taking away my worries, my fear and my pain, and everything in between.
Strong hands lifted me up and gave me a cup. I took a weak sip, feeling warm chicken miso soup run down my throat. It was delicious.
“Are you feeling better? You looked terrible last night.”
My vision finally cleared and the stars finally went away to find my saviour bending down over me. She is beautiful, I thought drowsily. Like an angel sent down from heaven.
She had a small face, a small and skinny build and an even smaller nose. But her eyes were as big as a sky full of stars and her long black hair swept over her face. I was mesmerised.
“Are you feeling better?” the girl repeated. The fact she was talking to me registered somewhere in my foggy mind.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“Here,” she continued, arranging the pillows and blankets to form a little nest. Then the girl climbed up next to me and stroked my hand. That fuzzy little tingle shot up my spine again and I loved it.
“What’s your name? I’m Nara. I haven’t seen you around these parts before. In fact I haven’t seen anyone for years. Where are you from?”
I answered her questions as calmly as I could, although it was impossible with her interrupting me every 5 minutes. Her enthusiasm bubbled up like a fiery volcano as she chatted away about herself. A smile crept up my face. She reminded me of my little sister.
Over the next few days Nara came in to give me more chicken miso soup and keep me company. I could still hear the storm going on outside; the wind still howling and tearing away at the windows like a toddler throwing a tantrum; the rain hanging low like dense fog and rolling through the cornfields.
I had never felt so thankful that I was safe and warm inside this house.
I soon looked forward to Nara’s visits every day. To be perfectly honest there was nothing much to do. I tried continuing my studies, but the words blurred on the screen and made my eyes hurt.
So instead I slept, but even then I grew bored of just staring at the ceiling.
Nara had a way of lighting up your life, like a little lamp in the dark. She came around 7pm, no more than 5 minutes late, and we spent the whole evening talking until one of us (usually me) fell asleep.
Through these conversations we realised we had a lot in common. Same love for the sciences; same immigration woes. Same countries we went to on holiday. Little things like that.
“Do you think this storm will ever stop?”
Nara blinked at me, surprised by my question. We had been talking about the tea plantations in Jeju. (Kenji loved it, Nara recalled. Rolled around in the mud like the brotherly pig he was.)
“I don’t know,” she answered after a while. “It has been raining here for ages.”
“Will I be able to go home then?”
It was the million-dollar question. Nara went silent, and thought for a while. The power briefly went out; the lightning striking her face in a deathly glow.
Nara’s lips curled up in a small smile, and an equally small shiver crept up my spine.
When I was strong enough to walk, Nara stopped coming so often, saying she had to study. Therefore I started exploring her house on my own. My footsteps echoed through long, winding hallways and my shadow danced on peeling walls and locked wooden doors. All I could think of was that Nara hit the jackpot when she found this house by chance. It was ten times bigger than my own family house.
The door was open at the furthest end of the hall. It was noon at the time; the house was as quiet as the dead. With nothing else to do I went in.
I appeared to be in some sort of library. Books lined the shelves and stretched up to the sky. The ceiling was painted with baby angels playing flutes and trumpets. It was in the old Renaissance style, I marveled, like the artist had painted it so lovingly and then preserved it forever for all to see.
I impulsively pulled one of the books out and glanced at the cover.
Beauty and the Soul by Pearl F. Ekson.
Passages of philosophy were found inside the book, along with anecdotes and stories on what it meant to be pretty. I set it aside and pulled out another one. This one was full of medical drawings; the human body split up into many different sections and described in detail. They grinned at me from within the pages, as if delighted by red ink trailing across the page.
My gut twisted. I felt sick.
“That’s one of my old textbooks.”
Nara had appeared behind me, so silent I thought she was a ghost. She gently took the book from me and returned it to the shelf.
“I was in med school. One month away from graduation.”
Her face was burning up. She was choking on her words.
“Good school. My parents were so, so proud. And I was happy. So happy…”
“And—and then, the war. P-Pearl Harbour…”
Nara turned away from me, her face hot with tears. I didn’t speak; I could only listen to her sob, not bold enough to intrude with another probing question that would only make it worse.
“I wanted to be a plastic surgeon for so long. It has to be that.” She shrunk away from me, her voice, her frame, all of her. “I’ve never had dreams before that. Not really.”
I didn’t know what else to say. Nara ran out of the room, her sobs echoing down the hallway. I watched her leave, then wordlessly returned the philosophy book to the shelf.
“I’m sorry.”
It sounded hollow. The tsunami had long swept the coast, leaving behind debris I had to pick up. I sat there for a moment, watching the rain dribble on the window, my heart shattering along with hers.
Finally I resolved to stop moping around and to make it up to her properly.
It took me really long to track her down, but eventually I heard loud sobs behind a locked door.
“Go away, Penny.”
Her words slapped me in the face and it burned. I counted slowly to ten and breathed deep.
“Nara. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched your things. And…”
I racked my brains, trying to think of a suitable compensation. The sobs stopped. Nara waited. The tension was as thick as the door between us.
“I’ll help you with your work,” I blurted out. “And show you all the new stuff since you left school. Like the ones on PubMed.”
The door creaked open. Nara stood there like a little lost ghost. Her face was pale. Empty.
“What’s PubMed?”
I ended up spending the afternoon teaching Nara about the wonders of the Internet. It was lovely to see her eyes light up like I gave her the best Christmas present in the whole wide world, the way she chatted animatedly and flapped her hands at every new article, new set of data or statistics, new everything that showed up on the tiny laptop screen. I smiled, my heart melting at her growing excitement and laughter, the sins of the morning forgotten between us. It was still raining outside, but the dim ceiling lamp shone warmly down on us like morning sunshine.
We spent so long online that time flew like a dream, and it was only when Nara gave a huge yawn and rested her head on my lap that I decided to take my leave. I bade her good night and walked back to my room, where I changed into pyjamas, brushed my teeth and got into bed.
But I couldn’t sleep.
The diagrams from Nara’s medical books walked out of the pages and into my mind, dragging their entrails behind them like sticky chains. I woke up many times screaming.
Then I paused, and listened, and realised not all the screams were mine.
I crept through the house, my heart beating in my throat. The screams crashed throughout the house like ripples in a pond, so loud that occasionally I had to close my eyes to rest. I wondered why Nara hadn’t woken up from the screams yet. She must sleep like a log.
They were even louder downstairs. Like somebody had hidden speakers all over the room and amped it up to a thousand. I sank to my feet, my hands over my ears, sobbing as loud as the rain.
Then silence.
The screams were gone as quickly as they appeared. I blinked, rubbing tears from my eyes. Everything hurt.
I couldn’t get up. I lay on my back, trying to catch my breath, and listened to my heart rate going a thousand miles per hour. Although they were gone, my mind raced with questions. Who was screaming?
And why?
The rain responded by slamming its fists against the glass-domed windows.
I must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew Nara was shaking me awake. The morning had come; faint daylight squeezed in through thick thunderclouds.
Her worried black eyes met my own.
“Are you okay? You were out like a light.”
I blinked at her, my brain still a dense fog. Then everything crashed down on me.
The screams.
“Yeah,” I said shakily. The screams were still rattling around my head.
Words failed me. I coughed, feeling like I had a frog stuck in my throat. It felt too complicated to explain, the nightmares, the screams, the sinking feeling coiling and twisting around in my gut that this house was not as it seemed.
My skin prickled with goosebumps.
Nara stiffened. Her eyes darted to somewhere behind me, as if expecting someone to jump out any moment.
“W-was this why you ran out last night?”
She was shaking like a leaf, her face beading with cold sweat. I felt the urge to hug her, to hold her close to prevent her from shattering into a million tiny pieces, and tell her it was going to be okay.
But I was as paralysed as she was, the last of my nerves already crumbling into ashes.
“They want me gone, Penny.”
Her voice was so soft I could barely hear her.
“Ever since I came here. They hate me. A-and…”
Her words evaporated ominously into the gloom. I nodded and managed to stand up. My knees knocked together and threatened to drag me back down.
“Come on, Nara.”
It sounded small. Nara nodded mutely and I helped her on her feet. We hobbled together up the stairs, nearly tripping over each other. Yet no one dared to go alone. Danger was still lurking in the shadows, waiting patiently for those caught unaware.
I settled her in my room, in the same bed she tucked me in when she found me all those weeks ago. In a way we were alone in this house together. Just as she rescued me, I now had to protect her.
I sat with her for a while, watching her chest rise and fall like the receding waves on the Californian beach. As soon as she fell asleep, I set out on my own through the house.
I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. But I knew I wanted answers. Something to help us.
It was quite some time before I reached the atrium where Nara found me this morning. I smiled to myself, knowing my search was easier now that I was used to this house.
Screams ripped through the house, and the curtains flapped into my face. The house shook and shivered, moving to a rhythm it could only hear.
The door creaked open.
My blood froze.
I stood there for a while, trying to make myself as small as possible and prayed the door would close on its own, so I could run upstairs to safety with Nara, but then I felt a push.
Someone was dragging me towards the door.
I screamed and lashed out, tried to resist as hard as I could, but it was like trying to fight against a strong ocean current. The door swayed back and forth, beckoning me towards the storm.
The moment I was out on the front step, the door slammed shut. I heard the click of a lock.
I sighed and slid down the door, hoping Nara heard my screams and started looking for me. The rain trickled down the rooftop and plonked down on my head. The cold seeped in through my skin and bit my nerves raw, and I shivered and tried not to sneeze.
I heard a car engine cough into life.
I sat up, my eyes wide.
Isn’t that MY car?
The sounds of the car grew louder and louder, until it crashed into my ears like thunder. The lights came first, swinging back and forth like twin swords ready to battle, searching my face like I had something to hide. Then the bushes parted and it yelled a war-cry, and then the whole car came into view and shot towards my chest, its roof flapping madly and threatening to come off.
I couldn’t keep my eyes off my car. I pounded on the front door with all my strength.
It was getting closer. The car growled; its angry yellow eyes shone directly into my face. My life was flashing before me in the mirror. There I was as a baby, laughing on the plane to America; there I was in Jeju, in Osaka, in Saigon, where my grandfather grew up; there I was when I first received…
The door was yanked open. Nara screamed.
I scrambled inside as quickly as I could.
Nara slammed the door shut—just in time. I heard the sound of metal crashing against wood, something bouncing off into the bushes, and finally—to my relief—the sound of the car engine dying.
Nara turned towards me, her face red as a fire engine.
“What the hell were you doing outside?”
I couldn’t speak. Nara didn’t have to tell me twice; I knew it was all my fault. My fault for making her worry. My fault for endangering my safety—and possibly hers too.
Instead I let my eyes wander outside to the still pouring rain. I was still hot. From nearly getting killed by my own car, perhaps, or maybe from Nara’s perpetual glare boring down against the side of my head.
Nara softened.
“Look, Penny,” she said quietly, “It-it’s just that…”
It was her turn to stare outside. Her voice trembled; hot tears cascaded down her face as she slipped once again into her worst memories. I saw what was coming and it made me feel even worse.
“You remind me of my brother. So, so much.”
Her words punched me in the gut.
“And I can’t lose you. Not again. Not like him. So please don’t do anything like this again. Promise?”
“I promise,” I whispered back.
Nara watched me like a hawk over the next few days. She stuck by me like glue, and constantly peppered me with questions. Like she wanted to forget everything between us.
I let Nara borrow my laptop to read more journal articles and helped her with her research when she needed it; and took care of her when her face was buried into the keyboard. It was a good way to keep my thoughts away from the horrors at night, when the house shook with the moans and screams that rippled through the walls.
Several nights after I was nearly killed by my own car, I lay in bed next to Nara with cotton stuffed into my ears. Nara—sweet summer child—was out the moment her head hit the pillow, but I couldn’t sleep. Instead I stared at the walls, focusing on Nara’s snores that were warm and deep like a flickering campfire.
The screams started, burrowing deep into my brain. I gritted my teeth and wished morning would come faster.
It had risen to a crescendo, louder than my thoughts, louder than the thunder outside. I glanced worriedly over at Nara, but that girl could sleep like a rock.
Finally the house could take it no longer, and the walls started to burst, like an overflowing pipe.
No, not burst.
The walls were squeezing and twisting and bending outwards, shaping and cracking into…into…
Then came the eyes, squishing and fighting its way to the surface, so meticulously carved it could’ve come from one of Nara’s textbooks.
They were everywhere now. A sea of lips and eyes, side by side like they were part of the wallpaper. The eyes flickered, zoomed in on the sleeping girl next to me.
Her name came out in a strangled whisper. I wanted to reach out to her, pull her tighter, reassure myself everything was all right–but my hand passed right through her body like she was made out of water.
Then Nara began to rise.
Higher and higher, until she was at least three feet above the bed. The lips curved into a victorious smile; the voices hissed like a snake. She was glowing too, an eerie blue, like a UFO in those old science fiction shows, lighting up the room in the creepiest way possible.
I could only watch, transfixed.
Nara reached the ceiling, and for a few brief seconds it was as if time had stopped. My breath caught in my throat. I could no longer scream.
Then she hurtled towards the opposite wall at the speed of light, crashed into the wall and crumpled to a mess on the floor.
It came out shrill. I scrambled out of bed and ran over to check on her. She seemed fine for some reason–no bruises, no cuts or scrapes. Nara moaned in her pain and cracked one eye open.
Then she screamed, and my heart once again stopped.
Green blood was pouring out of those mouths, engulfing everything in sight–the shelves, the bed–everything. I watched as the wood slowly crumbled away until it was nothing but ashes.
My own legs were starting to burn. There wasn’t much time left.
With the last of my strength I dragged Nara outside and slammed the door shut, praying it would hold. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would leap out my throat. I checked the time on my watch. It was thirty-four minutes past midnight.
“Are you okay?” I asked her shakily.
“Yeah,” Nara mumbled. She rubbed her head. “What happened?”
I wasted no time filling her in. Nara said nothing, just stared at the bedroom door with misty eyes. We sat there for a while, listening to the pouring rain and the howls of whatever was in there. Nara yawned.
“Nara,” I said suddenly. “I think we need to call an exorcist. Maybe then you could live in peace.”
Nara frowned. “What’s an exorcist?”
“Someone who chases demons away—”
“Like a superhero?”
The voices were getting more intense, spilling out of the door and crackling against the walls like static. An image flashed into my mind of the faces behind the door shaking their heads in disapproval. I swallowed and tried to focus on the matter at hand.
“Kind of.”
Nara brightened, her eyes twinkling like a pair of lightbulbs. “I know how!”
“Yeah! An old friend taught me! Come on!”
Nara raced down the hallway and I tried to follow her, but it was like trying to walk in concrete boots. Something was pulling me back, sticking me tight to the floor. Hands snaked out of cracks in the walls and held me tight.
I struggled as hard as I could, tried to wriggle out of their grip, but they only squeezed me tighter.
My heart was beating faster than ever, a rhythmic thud thud thud that pounded in my ears like a drum.
Everything was spinning, pulsing into red and black. Red and black.
Stars burst in front of my eyes, then it faded to black. My mind raced, desperately trying to find a way out. Time was not on my side.
So I leaned down and did the only thing I could think of: I bit.
It tasted disgusting. Like hand sanitizer and bloody chalk. The voices screamed in their pain and despair; the hands let go and fled back to the walls as if wounded. The house was shaking like an earthquake.
I collapsed onto the floor, breathing heavily.
Nara had come back. She frowned.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” My legs felt like they were made of jelly. The sooner we could get rid of the ghosts, the sooner we could live in peace. “Let’s go.”
We returned to the study. Everything else was cleared away. There was a circle drawn on the floor in red chalk. Around it were several strange symbols: something that looked like an ox, a ram, and a human leg. The windows were closed, the curtains drawn, leaving behind a thin border of light.
Nara rummaged through the shelves and pulled out a large book bound with black fur. Something alive at least, and still breathing. It bristled at her touch and hissed like a cat with its hackles raised.
“Stand in the circle,” she instructed. “It’s the only way to make sure the spell would work.”
She flipped through the old yellowed pages delicately, like they were fine silk. I heard her murmur to herself as she squinted at the tiny cursive text. Each page was signed with a heart with T.C in the centre.
I didn’t know why, but shivers were crawling up my spine.
“Are you sure you know what you are doing, Nara?”
Nara didn’t reply. Instead she began chanting. Softly at first, and then louder, an eerie song that sounded like she was speaking many languages at once. It was strangely beautiful.
Goosebumps bubbled up my skin. They grew bigger and bigger until they exploded with pus. I was feeling really hot, like I was being boiled alive inside my clothes. I resisted the urge to take them off.
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t scream. It sounded wrong—too high, too shrill, nothing like myself. My voice was cracking. My bones were cracking. I watched in horror as skin and fat fell off in rough flakes.
My legs suddenly buckled under my weight, and I found myself on the floor, writhing on the ground like I was wrestling a snake. Fingers popped off like frozen fish sticks, followed by my toes and my eyeballs, and I felt new ones grow in their place.
I squeezed my eyes shut, gritting my teeth against the pain coursing through my body like red-hot fire. Through my closed eyelids I could see the faces again, except they were exchanging knowing glances, like they were silently telling me we told you so.
Nara stepped into the circle and it felt strangely welcoming, like greeting a long-lost friend. She gave me a small hug, whispered something in my ear I could not understand, and all at once the pain dissipated.
And finally I dared open my eyes. I looked down and I screamed.
I wasn’t Penny any more.
Staring back at me in a smoothly-polished mirror instead of a red chalk-circle, surrounded by pearly-gray ash still falling around me like radioactive snowfall, was an exact copy of Nara. I could be her long-lost twin. Or even her clone.
The rain stopped. The sun began to shine.
The real Nara was nowhere to be found.
The word rang clear in my mind as I scoured Nara’s notes and books for answers. It was highlighted every time it came up in bright sunshine yellow.
It was her secret. Her life’s work. A way that combined the science of plastic surgery with the dark magic of the occult. Jumping from body to body, into exact copies of herself. Perfect clones she crafted out of others she had met. Sometimes she failed. But most of the time she managed to do it.
I shudder to think what happened to those who…didn’t make it.
Her house is my prison, and her body my chains. I can’t leave. She won’t let me. Neither would she let me undo her mess. There’s a dead end at every turn; each solution twists myself tighter into knots.
And every night I fall asleep with memories that are not my own: a smiling boy that looks like a younger version of me (her?), strange smells of bleach and chlorine, attempts to climb a wall with barbed wire twenty feet high. Deals to gods I shouldn’t have made.
Everything else—the remnants of my old life, my past, my ambitions…is wrapped in the distant fronds of my memory, drifting so far away it almost feels like a dream. And most of the details are so fuzzy I’m surprised I can write them down at all.
Even my own name these days is slipping through the nets of my memory. Is Penny my real name? I can’t tell anymore. Nara is all I know.
But throughout it all I do know one thing. It is risky. Dangerous even. I don’t want to hurt anybody, but it feels like I don’t have a choice.
So um, can one of you lovely folks on Reddit stop by our house in Kansas for a bit?
I—sorry, she—desperately need you.

submitted by SimbaTheSavage8 to nosleep [link] [comments]

2023.05.20 17:12 Miscellaneous-Nado The Mousou Koujou's Script List (Updated 5/20/2023)

The Comprehensive Collection of the Delusion Factory's greatest works. Now more organized than ever. Monetization allowed for all scripts, just send me the finished product. Any SFX included are just suggestions for reference. Business Card available for giving credit. Don't forget to check the Holiday section! Also, my commissions are open! If you like my style and want a specific script, don't hesitate to ask!
Dark Heroine
submitted by Miscellaneous-Nado to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]

2023.05.13 15:09 DesktopHut Arche Age Christmas Live Wallpaper

Arche Age Christmas Live Wallpaper submitted by DesktopHut to DesktopHut [link] [comments]

2023.05.07 17:54 likepotatoman The icon for the coconut milk looks more like a brown bowling ball

The icon for the coconut milk looks more like a brown bowling ball submitted by likepotatoman to CookieClicker [link] [comments]

2023.05.04 23:06 Debuxed A dumptruck alright...

A dumptruck alright... submitted by Debuxed to nier [link] [comments]

2023.05.04 18:29 KonoXi on fait comme on peut sans les streams de Melchior

on fait comme on peut sans les streams de Melchior submitted by KonoXi to melchior [link] [comments]

2023.05.03 07:04 Awkward-Basil4937 EVERY PIECE OF LITERATURE I'VE READ (IM 17)

  1. still me by Jojo moyes
  2. me before you by jojo moyes
  3. the seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
  4. the fault in our stars by john green
  5. five feet apart by Rachael Lippincott
  6. the alchemist by paulo coelho
  7. confessions of a Shopaholic series (5 books) by Sophie Kinsella
  8. the devil wears prada by lauren weisberger
  9. revenge wears prada by lauren weisberger
  10. chasing harry winston by lauren weisberger
  11. last night at Chateau Marmont by Lauren Weisberger
  12. everyone worth knowing by lauren weisberger
  13. ikigai by Hector Garcia
  14. attitude is Everything by Jeff Keller
  15. the origin by dan brown
  16. angels and Demons by dan brown
  17. the da Vinci Code by dan brown
  18. the lost symbol by dan brown
  19. the inferno by dan brown
  20. the courage to be disliked by Fumitika Koga
  21. Deep work by cal newport
  22. so good they can't ignore you by Cal Newport
  23. atomic habits by James Clear
  24. and then there were none by Agatha Christie
  25. the catcher in the Rye by jd salinger
  26. make your bed by William h macraven
  27. grit by angela duckworth
  28. animal farm by George Orwell
  29. the great gatsby by f Scott Fitzgerald
  30. age of Innocence by Edith Wharton
  31. Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
  32. the prophet by Khalil Gibran
  33. wuthering heights by emily bronte
  34. Art of War by sun tzu
  35. the everyday hero manifesto by Robin Sharma
  36. murder on the orient express by agatha christie
  37. sense and Sensibility by jane austen
  38. a princess remembers by maharani gayatri devi
  39. the invisible man by hg wells
  40. twelve rules for Life by Jordan b Peterson
  41. beyond order by Jordan b Peterson
  42. persuasion by jane austen
  43. pride and Prejudice by jane austen
  44. picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde
  45. lady chatterleys Lover by DH Lawrence
  46. old man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
  47. the monk who sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma
  48. the five am club by Robin Sharma
  49. there's no plan B for your A game by Bo season
  50. think and grow rich by Napolean Hill
  51. how to win people and make friends by dale carnegie
  52. mega living by Robin Sharma
  53. women in Love by DH Lawrence
  54. the subtle art of not giving a fuck by mark manson
  55. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
  56. the silent patient by Alex Michaelides
  57. Emma by jane austen
  58. the Hindu trinity by devdutt pattanaik
  59. breakfast at tiffanys by truman capote
  60. the male brain by louann brizendine
  61. perfume by Patrick Suskind
  62. on education by Bertrand Russell
  63. 1984 by George orwell

  1. the house of Flowers by truman capote
  2. the yellow wallpaper by charlotte perkins gilman
  3. the most dangerous game by Richard Connell
  4. the lottery by Shirley Jackson
  5. a rose for Emily by William Faulkner
  6. barn burning by William Faulkner
  7. the gift of magi by o henry
  8. we can get them for you wholesale by Niel Gaiman
  9. the cask of Amontillado by edgar allan poe
  10. an occurrence at owl creek bridge by ambrose bierce
  11. the open boat by Stephen Crane
  12. the monkey's Paw by ww jacobs
  13. harrison bergeron by Kurt vonnegut
  14. all summer in a Day by Ray Bradbury
  15. Fritz by satyajit ray
  16. the Chinese statue by Jeffrey Archer
  17. a good man is Hard to Find by Flannery o Connor
  18. the birthmark by Nathaniel Hawthorne
  19. the sound machine by roald dhal
  20. Salvatore by William Somerset Maugham
  21. quality by john galsworthy
  22. to build a fire jack London
  23. the story of an Hour by kate chopin
  24. gorilla in the guest room by Gerald Durell
  25. marigold by eugenia colliers
  26. the old man at the Bridge by Ernest Hemingway
  27. a horse and 2 goats by rk narayan
  28. hearts and Hands by o henry
  29. a face in the Dark by ruskin bond
  30. an angel in Disguise by Timothy Arthur
  31. the blue bead by norah burke
  32. the furnished room by o henry
  33. a diamond guitar by truman capote
  34. a Christmas Memory by Truman Capote

  1. merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare
  2. the tempest by William Shakespeare
  3. Hamlet by William Shakespeare
submitted by Awkward-Basil4937 to u/Awkward-Basil4937 [link] [comments]

2023.05.02 22:13 michael_scooot Current DISOs! Full wish list and trade list in comments!

Current DISOs! Full wish list and trade list in comments! submitted by michael_scooot to Webkinz [link] [comments]

2023.04.30 01:01 SomeNameHere537 First time sharing. Mum always talking loudly and generally hostile. House is so abnormal and like being grounded or lockdown as standard. My life feels empty, sometimes I feel like I’m nothing.

Hello. I’m 24 M, in the UK. I’d massively appreciate anyone reading this please. Would love to talk to someone even a little. Life because of my mum is so utterly shit.
I found this subreddit some time ago and have been reading stuff and related to quite a bit of it, and my older sister once told me that she thinks Mum might have NPD.
This is pretty long but a chunk cut down from what it was before, kept thinking of a lot I wanted to say. I can’t seem to add another flair for maybe TW Verbal Abuse if it's strong enough to count but I’ll say that here just in case.

When I went to live at university during my second year was when I think I started to realise what normal life is like and how abnormal my home is.
Then for some reason (which in hindsight was probably a mistake) I took a break before third year and came back home.
That academic year away was by far the best time in my life, and the only time still my life was anything close to normal.

My parents haven’t worked since before I was born. They rarely left the house outside of grocery shopping twice a week at most.
They don’t have friends they go to do anything with, anything as a couple or on their own, or anything as a whole family outing.
Not really anything in the house as a family either. Grandparents died when I was young, but never anything with any other extended family, for a long time I thought I didn’t have any at all.
I know a few names but nothing about them or how many. A few years ago I was told an uncle died but I had no idea he even existed.
Nothing special for birthdays or Christmas, New Year, Halloween etc. I don’t think I’ve ever had a birthday party. I couldn’t name any present I’ve gotten.
So I never had proper friends or socialised like everyone else. Cos we never went out anywhere as a family I didn’t either outside of school with any people to parties or hang out.
I just always assumed I couldn’t go to things and never thought it was a genuine option for me.
It’s never been normal to just casually leave the house to go anywhere wherever. Hardly know the local area, never met any neighbours. When I went to sixth-form college after high school, it was the first time I’d even been on a bus or train. I have no work experience.

That’s rubbish general life without even getting into Mum’s personality and behaviour. She talks and talks SO MUCH, and so loud just as her natural speaking voice.
She’s 1 out of 4 of the people in the house but easily does 3 quarters or more of the talking.
Stalks so much generally out at the house commentating on everything or every thought she has.
No such thing as a casual chat. Conversations are more like just monologues from her. When we do sometimes say something, or even when she asks a question, she often starts speaking over us before we’ve finished. Sometimes about something not even relevant to what she asked.
She spends what feels like so much time talking about things that aren’t that relevant or important, or that she’s already said and just repeats things over and over. She always complains about not having time to do things. But you have nothing BUT time, have literally all day every day, and have for years and years. She wastes time and makes things late far more than anything else. Because she takes ages until she’s finished talking and starts doing something. And when she/we finally are, she talks so much and makes it take way longer than necessary.
She has always been hostile in the way she reacts and responds to things. Easily getting ranty and talking melodramatically at least, or shouting and screaming. When there’s a problem her instant response is always to get angry and shout, so that dealing with her becomes a far bigger problem than the actual thing. I seriously wonder how the hell she ever had a job before.
Once she spilled too much salt on her meal (which Dad makes every one every day for her) and was wailing like she’d been attacked or something.
She sometimes says our cat is unnecessarily aggressive lashing out, but I’m like, you’re just describing yourself. I once tried to say that she was being louder and a longer disruption than dog and cat making noise but her response within a second was “WE’LL THROW YOU OUT TOO!”. I remember once when I was young and was sick she threatened to shove my face in my vomit. When me or my sister were scared of something she’d complain of us disrupting or annoying her. She once screamed about us not eating one flavour of crisps as much because she didn’t like seeing that colour.
She doesn’t apologise for how she shouts, and just acts as if it never happened or has no impact.
I only feel fully relaxed the rare times she’s not in the house, or really late at night. Once I felt myself physically tense up just from knowing she was back in the house again when they came back from getting something.
Living with strangers in a big uni hall near a nightclub I felt far more at peace than I do with her. Not once during any time living away from home at uni did I feel homesick or miss family even for a second.
I’ve sometimes had dreams of having screaming arguments and then wake up and take a while before realising it was a dream and not a real memory.

She’s sometimes said that me and her have always been close, but I don’t feel close to her at all. To be honest, I don’t love her or feel anything like that, the idea of saying I love her does not feel right.
I don’t really feel any bond or connection to my dad and sister either, but not in a negative way I don’t blame them. My mum is the only one I have negative memories and feelings towards.
I feel like I hardly know any of them really, talking to them always seems awkward like we’re strangers and haven’t broken the ice yet. For a long time now I’ve just generally don’t express any emotion or opinion. So now I realise no wonder it was always hard for me to chat and relate to people at school and uni and make friends.
When I was younger I wondered why my dad didn’t divorce, but thinking about it, it would probably be super hard I dunno how the reality of that would work for moving somewhere or affording it etc. And I don’t think Mum would be capable of living on her own. So he’s probably even more trapped than me. I can’t imagine he’s happy.

The state of the house has always been rubbish too, really dirty and messy. Peeling wallpaper and dusty cobwebs, mold in places, torn unfitted lino and stained carpet. Thick layers of dust and grime, even in their own bedroom hasn’t been cleaned properly in years.
The daily routine here as it’s been for years makes no sense. They’ll be awake about 10, but not go downstairs and have breakfast until 3pm, then not finish until nearly 5 or after. Then there’s only a few hours window of doing household-running things time before about 7 or 8 when she’ll say it’s too late to do anything more today. But then more nothingness and they don’t eat until after midnight, sometimes after 2am, and don’t go to bed until after 3am or 4am sometimes. But she complains about how she’s always busy and doesn’t have enough time to do things. And blames us for this, none of us like it but we don’t have the power to change it without her doing something. She is the massive obstacle to things being better, but she acts as if she’s completely nothing to do with any problem.
Can only shower fully once a week, and it’s a whole palaver for ages that makes the day a write-off for anything else significant. Lucky if I can wash my hair once in-between, and I awkwardly trim it with scissors myself in the mirror. Mum and Dad shower almost never, in the whole calendar year 2022 she showered 4 times. Even at uni, I’d forget to change clothes and shower cos I’m just not used to doing it so often as everyone else does being normal.
At home in-between uni years when covid hit and lockdowns started, basically nothing changed. Just got groceries delivered instead of them going out. That was it.

Back at uni for final year was covid lockdown living alone and online all year, and being cautious I didn’t see friends at all. Really struggled and didn’t pass. Got another year to try and do the coursework but had to be back home for it. But cos everything’s so abnormal here I couldn’t do it then either.
Got hardly anything done, just couldn’t focus to do it properly. And just in general in this house, so much time goes but nothing happens.
I wasn’t even wasting time doing things I wanted to and enjoy like games, movies and TV.
Once when I said it can be difficult because she can waste time and be loud, she told me how that isn’t true at all, by… screaming at me for an hour and a half. Makes sense right.
Having to be composed on the outside the entire time when she’s like that but inside my heart was beating like crazy and was the rest of the whole day too.
So I failed and only have a kind of half-degree. Obviously don’t want to tell them that though.
I’m also gay but obviously never dated anyone so it’s never been relevant to bring up. I have no idea when or if I’ll tell them.
Stuck in the same routine as them and hard to break out, and feels so hard to do anything normal. Everything here feels so wrong to me now. Feel a constant underlying uncomfortableness.
And it’s been another year since uni has been over that seems to have gone so quickly and just been wasted and nothing’s happened.
I haven’t seen any uni friends in nearly 4 years, and hardly messaged cos they’re busy with normal lives which I’m nowhere near now.

So I really need to move away again for good to be able to start doing anything with my life. But I don’t have enough money, and the idea of getting any job and actually going to it fine seems difficult here. So I’m really stuck and not confident how I can get out.
She’s sometimes said the only thing holding me back from doing stuff and going out is me. I probably do have learned helplessness, but surely I wouldn’t have that or reluctance to even try to do something if not for years of just nothing from her? Not understanding or taking any responsibility for what seems like such negligence of everything in my upbringing and life still now that might be obstacles. There’s just no foundation for anything.
She’s dismissive of ADHD my sister’s trying to get diagnosed with, and takes credit for getting her out of diagnosed and medicated depression. But if not for Mum I think she may never have had it in the first place.
When I was at uni the first time before Covid, someone (who’s had things to deal with mental health wise himself) when I was with a group hanging out said to me he knew I’d been abused, that he could “see it”.
I’m nearly 25 now, but I don’t think I even feel 16. People that age and even younger have done so much more and have more general life experience. My life feels so empty and that I’m so far behind everyone else my age. Been realising how alone I’ve always been and feel so not connected to society.

That’s a lot in one post and messy I know sorry. I’ve just been wanting to write to put it out somewhere as I’ve never told anyone the truth this much before.
It would be really awesome to have any responses of anyone’s thoughts about this? I really appreciate anyone who has read through it and commented at all.
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2023.04.28 18:39 JustSomeApparition What are some 'good' cooking channels to subscribe too on YouTube?

For clarity... by 'good' I mean things that are not generic food channels (E.g. 5 Minute Crafts), channels about food that don't actually teach you anything (E.g. Insider Food), food ASMR, or random people just trying food for the first time .
I would like actual, quality, cooking channels. They don't have to be from professional chefs, culinary experts, or food scientists specifically. I'm good with variety and pro/am home cooks as well.
To prevent repetition here are most of the channels I'm currently subscribed too:
• Adam Raguesa • Babish Culinary Universe • Best Ever Food Review Show • Bon Appétit • Claire Saffitz x Desert Person • Epicurious • How to Cook That • Preppy Kitchen • Sorted Food • Sugarologie • Tasting History with Max Miller
I know there are a few that I'd forgotten to add, but no biggie. I went through the list kind of quickly. Anyway... that's enough jibberjabbering.
To anyone reading this: I appreciate you making it this far, and to anyone who responds: I thank you in advance for your time, energy, and effort.
Cheers, -JustSomeApparition
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2023.04.27 03:59 djbar0 [TOMT][Female Singer][2010s] Looking for a soft pop/indie female artist with a possibly winter-themed album

The details are super vague I know but I remember listening to an artist on Spotify a few years back around 2015-2016 whose music sounded a bit like Ellie Goulding/Lights/Hayden Calnin, that kind of vibe, but really slow and soft (not fast paced) and I believe she had an album released in the 2010s with a purply winter themed wallpaper for the album cover and possibly some songs with winter-related titles, like with “snow” or “ice” in the name. I can’t even remember how the songs went, just the album and overall vibe, it was not Christmas themed! Any help would be greatly appreciated!
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2023.04.26 01:31 Chazzyphant Article Share: Vogue's Spring 2023 trends + Are we here for it?

Article link
The changing of the seasons from winter to spring is a most exciting time—especially sartorially. In with lighter layers, dresses, and a sense of freedom; out with heavy outerwear, knits, and boots. When it comes to the spring 2023 trends, there’s a lot to look forward to. As noted by Vogue Runway’s trend report, the collections reflected many moods: from soft and undone (read draped jersey, distressed fabrics, and other touchable textures) to utilitarian preparedness (think well-pocketed garments) and a streamlined minimalism (see smart tailoring and even smarter button-up shirting). Our editors have already begun to gravitate to a handful of these, eager to transition to the spring wardrobe.
Among these trends are a sense of practicality and an emphasis on a daily uniform. Two editors are bringing their maxi skirts and tailored vests into spring with a fresh perspective inspired by the shows, while others are looking for new ways to wear or repurpose those most cherished classics: denim or the white dress shirt, for example. Look to this shoppable spring 2023 trend guide for an inside look at what our editors are shopping now and most excited about.
Skirt Suits But Make it Fashion
My new obsession is the skirt suit. Earlier this year I got one from Theory—a little cropped jacket and a mini skirt in a navy cashmere wool and it suddenly awakened in me a desire to wear them all the time. They are harder to find than one might think—the proportions need to be exactly right so I don’t feel like I am playing dress-up. In a perfect world, this desire would mean I’d get to wear a Gucci black and white wool gingham suit with the cropped jacket and knee-length pencil skirt; or maybe Marine Serre’s wallpaper floral toweling suit in shades of blue and green. – Laia Garcia-Furtado, senior fashion news editor, Vogue Runway
Are we here for it? Not...really. Skirt suits are for lawyers, or people working client-facing, business formal jobs. I just bought two pairs of stretchy pants, and I WFH. But even if I didn't, skirt suits are very aging on most of us.
Everyday Preciousness
I loved the way sequined, embroidered, and embellished midi skirts were styled on the spring 2023 runways. Paired with standard tops you already have in your wardrobe—like button downs, tees, and tanks—designers posed the question: do you really need a special occasion as an excuse or reason to wear something beautiful? Or in my case, sparkling? This season, I’m pairing the precious with the everyday, using Commission’s shimmering silver midi skirt as a base with flat black loafers, a striped button down, and a boring gray sweater. I love the unexpected surprise something sparkly gives when worn underneath otherwise completely average wardrobe staples! – Madeline Fass, market editor
Are we here for it? HELL YES. Basically I take it to mean sparkles, sequins, a touch of interest. Very here for that.
Extra Baggage
I’ve been a fan of baggy jeans forever and J6 happens to make my new favorite pair. The drawstring at the cuff gives the best silhouette especially with a nice heel. – Chioma Nnadi, global network lead & editor,
Are we here for it? Not...really. Personally I find that slouchy, baggy, loose, "borrowed from the boys" looks best on 17 year old's with trim, 17 year old bodies. Now a version of this CAN be rocked for sure. But I'll pass.
Perfectly Imperfect
I recently wore Prada’s satin midi skirt during New York Fashion Week, which debuted on the designer’s spring 2023 runway in Milan last fall. The style evokes a sense of “unfinishedness,” featuring an irregularly dyed print and a slit that is made to look like the skirt is torn. – Lisa Aiken, executive fashion director,
Are we here for it?
HELL YES. Asymmetry is my jam, and I love a good frayed/unraveled/disheveled look, mostly because I can't make a sleek and chic look work.
Short n Sweet Jackets
For me it’s all about maximizing the pieces in my closet. Spring is a perfect transitional time to use your jacket as a blazer, so I have been looking at options that have collars which smarten any look and can be thrown over dresses or worn with trousers. – Sam Sussman, director, creative development, social + visuals
Are we here for it? Yes, but not on purpose. I like cropped, natural-waist jackets
Buttoned Up Shirting
From classic white button downs paired with skirts at Dior and Prada to striped iterations dominating the spring 2023 Etro show, this season proved that versatility has no limits when it comes to styling the menswear-inspired piece. The oversized poplin shirt is quickly becoming a personal wardrobe staple, mixed and matched in new ways to give a fresh take on the timeless silhouette. – Ciarra Lorren Zatorski, associate fashion editor
Are we here for it? Is this...a trend? Or is this a staple? I's every spring and summer, come on Vogue.
Modern Boho
This spring, I am excited to embrace the imperfect fashion seen on the runways of Jil Sander, Marni, Prada, and Dries van Noten. The frayed edges, crochet details, and romantic distressing exuded a nonchalance that feels like a breath of fresh air, especially after wearing structured trousers and outerwear all winter! —Mai Morsch, fashion editor
Are we here for it? Not...really. I had my boho fun about 5-7 years ago and I'm not ready to go back there.
Blazers Become Cinched
When ultimate cool-girl Chloe Sevigny stepped out in Proenza Schouler’s Fall 2023 runway show during NYFW earlier this month, it only reconfirmed the cinched waist trend. I can't stop thinking about it and am looking to emulate this chic office-ready look now for spring. – Julie Tong, commerce director
Are we here for it? HELL YES but not on purpose. 80% (or more) of my blazers are Lilith, and Lilith typically does a peplum and/or a cinched waist. I never had slouchy, oversized, boxy blazers, I just waited those out.
Detailed Denim
I’m very excited for all of spring’s not-so-basic denim, like this maxiskirt from one of my favorite shows of the season, Altuzarra. —Willow Lindley, accessories and collaborations director
Are we here for it?
Kind of. I dunno, this type of thing also looks best on the Miley Cyrii of this world.
A luxe piece of leather is simultaneously elegant and edgy. Inspired by the biker jackets seen on the spring runways, I'm gravitating toward this cropped style from Musier Paris. To match, Mango's sleek leather midi skirt is a must-have in my wardrobe this season. Accessory-wise, toughened-up biker boots from & Other Stories and Prada's Moon bag are at the top of my shopping list.– Laura Jackson, commerce writer
Are we here for it? Me? No. I'm not a "badass" nor will I ever be.
Bold Color Bottoms
As someone who tends to lean on a denim crutch most days, this Spring, I’m excited to try a few bold color options like what we saw on the runways of Bottega Veneta, Prada, and Dries Van Noten. These bold, cherry red pants from High Sport are my starting point: their vibrant hue is as immediately uplifting as it is unexpected. I look forward to pairing with whisper-thin henleys, crisp white shirts, and every shoe varietal—the cropped length really lends itself to each and every one.– Daisy Shaw-Ellis, jewelry director
Are we here for it? In theory, yes. But not something I'm rushing out and buying immediately.
Bright White Footwear
I'm excited to lighten up my shoe collection this spring with bright white mules and comfy loafers, inspired by Bottega Veneta, Jil Sander, Dries Van Noten, and more of the collections that used white footwear to ground their spring 2023 looks. – Alexis Bennett, commerce writer
Are we here for it? No, because I have enough shoes and white shoes = nurse shoes, I'm sorry. Also I'm a klutz and those will get ruined super fast.
Sculptural Statement Earrings
For me, this spring will be all about the statement earring. I recently realized my jewelry box was seriously lacking. While I initially prioritized replenishing my assortment of everyday earrings and necklaces, I constantly kept gravitating toward a bold earring. Sculptural hoops, dangles, and gems are all fair game.– Kiana Murden, commerce beauty writer
Are we here for it? HELL YES. But only because I never was not here for it.
New Neoclassical
I am always smitten with ladylike pieces, and few do that better than Giambattista Valli. For his spring collection, he sent out pieces down the runway which featured, yes, his signature bouclé tweeds but also pieces adorned with gold braided shoulder straps and gold piping. (Several other labels, from Pucci to Bevza, also embraced the same vibe.) The effect is one that feels Grecian but with a modern twist. Let’s call it the new, neoclassical. – Lilah Ramzi, commerce editor
Are we here for it? Yes, but only kind of. The way they show these it's very dainty, femme, cute and skimpy. I am here for more of a draped/dramatic look.
The Tailored Look
This spring, I’m looking to lean into a pared-back approach to my wardrobe, taking inspiration from the neo-minimalism trend that dominated the 2023 runways at Khaite, The Row, and Peter Do, which emphasized chic tailoring and crisp white shirting. —Julie Tong, commerce director
Are we here for it? Oh whatever Vogue.
Tip-Top Tops
As I tend to mostly buy outerwear, pants, and shoes, I am always on the hunt for tops. What I’ve realized, however, is while I appreciate a lovely blouse or statement shirt, I am really a button-up shirt or plain T-shirt devotee. The transformed iterations of these classics and fresh ways to style simple shirting found in abundance in spring 2023 collections are all to my benefit. Luckily for me, I have Peter Do, Stella McCartney, and Bottega Veneta to look to for styling inspiration on how to reincorporate dress shirts with a sense of relevance for the spring season. And Tory Burch, Dries Van Noten, and Miu Miu have me wanting and wearing delicate layers of subdued color via long-sleeve or turtleneck tops with my trousers and jeans for the rest of winter. —Madeline Fass, market editor
Are we here for it?
'Tops' are a trend? Come on Vogue.
Draped Dressing
I can’t wait to wear spring’s most seductively cool trend: slinky, draped dresses and skirts. If I could, I’d invest in Saint Laurent’s and Alaïa’s entire spring 2023 collections. But this Paris Georgia skirt and Norma Kamali dress are both just as dreamy as the runway pieces. —Alexis Bennett, commerce writer
Are we here for it? HELL YES. I live for a drape.
Sheer Layering
I never in my life thought I would be a sheer-clothing kind of person (well, since graduating college). But the runways have convinced me to slowly get out of my comfort zone. I’d wear this polo shirt because it’s not the kind of top you’d expect to be sheer, which adds an interesting textural element to any of the preppy outfits already in my rotation. (Plus, it’s not that sheer.) —Sarah Spellings, fashion news editor
Are we here for it? Yes, if I can find the version that works for me.
Floor Length for Days
Floor-grazing maxiskirts were at the spring 2023 shows at New York Fashion Week, with brands like Tibi and Altuzarra putting together some effortless looks paired with button-downs, knits, and slightly unbuttoned blazers. It’s the perfect spring uniform for someone like me who wants casual and simple outfits to easily throw together in the morning and wear with my sneakers. —Irene Kim, production and editorial coordinator, Vogue Runway
Are we here for it? HELL YES. Again, see above. At 5'10", I may struggle to find something that is actually floor length.
Ruby Slippers
Late last year, I suddenly decided that my wardrobe was absolutely lacking a pair of red shoes, and I’ve been on the lookout ever since. Some great pieces have started to trickle in in the new year, but now I can’t decide what vibe to go for. Do I want something classic (Manolo Blahnik’s Carolyn kitten-heel slingback), something comfortable yet unhinged (Khaite’s Marcy shearling flat), or something less comfortable but absolutely, devastatingly glamorous (Alaïa’s Coeur mule)? The jury’s still out, but for sure, 2023 will be my year of the red shoe. —Laia Garcia-Furtado, senior fashion news editor
Are we here for it? Sure, why not.
The-Bigger-the-Better Bags
Gone are the days when I want to wear a micro bag that can only fit my lip gloss and driver’s license. I’m now all about enormous totes and the endless amount of things I can fit in them. —Naomi Elizée, market editor
Are we here for it? Yes, but won't be buying anything.
Pinstripe Tailoring
The suit vest sparked a sartorial sensation over the summer, and the fad isn’t going anywhere in 2023 either. I specifically loved the pinstripe versions seen at the Coperni SS23 show. I plan on wearing this one from Favorite Daughter with a matching pant for the ultimate gray outfit. —Laura Jackson, commerce writer
Are we here for it? Having flashbacks to 2007 where everything on the red carpet was business club-ual, but sure, what the hell.
New Reasons for Nightwear
Influenced by the sultry, bedroom-inspired silhouettes of Nensi Dojaka and Ludovic de Saint Sernin, I’m thinking of swapping out my crop tops and cutouts for lingerie-esque going-out looks this spring. Think a lot of sheer and lace! —Elise Taylor, senior living writer
Are we here for it? Kind of. It's very impractical for my daily life.
Okay so what do we think? What styles and trends are we here for and passing by?
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